


Cielo

by crazycityslicker



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst?, Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Brief Mentions of Puberty, Character Death, Character Development, Child Abuse, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Growing Up, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Innocence, Loss of Innocence, Lost and Found, Major Character Injury, Mental Breakdown, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), Orphan - Freeform, Other, Past Child Abuse, Puberty, Sibling Rivalry, Therapy, Walkers (Walking Dead), breaking barriers, kids being kids, takes a village
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 59
Words: 295,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24983566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazycityslicker/pseuds/crazycityslicker
Summary: What would life be like if you lost everyone you know and aren't old enough to really do anything but watch as everything around you falls apart?*Got no idea with summaries, basically a kiddo getting thru the Dixon shield, read at your boredom*As of 3/1/21, I have decided to stick mostly to the TV series but may toss a comic idea for future readers.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon & Original Female Character(s), Lori Grimes & Rick Grimes, Maggie Greene/Glenn Rhee, Merle Dixon & Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 310
Kudos: 330





	1. Mami?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello,
> 
> Let me start off with the disclaimer for this chapter and all future chapters posted. I own nothing nor have any affiliation with The Walking Dead. I got bored during this COVID19 and binged all 9 seasons on Netflix and it actually grew on me. It grew on me enough that I actually started to write this and I have a REALLY bad habit of writing but never posting something. Likely, because I know I stop somewhere but figured why let this collect dust like everything else I've written. Let's get at least something out there.
> 
> Another thing I realized, or maybe it's my mind OVERTHINKING things once again, I may have steered away from my little character in future chapters, but I'll leave it alone for now.
> 
> Constructive criticism is welcome, just give me time to try and wrap my head on how to do so properly.

A loud groan echoed in the room, unsteady feet shuffling following the sound, and I hid my face into Terry's head. I stayed still, remembering the rules Mami gave me. I found a place to hide and now I have to stay very quiet. The groan came closer and I closed my eyes, squeezing the toy closer to my face, wishing for the monster to go away. 

A wheeze escaped from the monster outside the door. I bit my lip, trying to not make a noise and I opened my eyes, staring at the little light coming in under the door. The floorboard made a loud groan as the monster took another step in the room, a shadow creeping into my hiding spot. I felt my lips trembling, wanting Mami to be here with me, she wasn't scared of the monsters. But she went to take them away. This one didn't follow her.

She said the monsters were sick people who don't remember anything or anyone and to be careful. That the monsters are like zombies, zombies that eat everything and don't eat just brains like the ones from the movies. But like Dracula, they hear the tiniest of sounds and can smell you. I couldn’t picture my Dracula wanting to hurt you. But if he does, then Dracula was cool when he was just a vampire in the movies. I told her I wished the monsters were from the movie too. That way they were working at the hotel taking bags to the rooms. I know all Mami could do was smile at me and say, "Me too."

The light under the door was dark and I kept tugging at Terry's tail, nervously listening to where the monster went. It must have moved to the other room because the noise wasn't as loud anymore. I stretched out a little bit, rubbing my face in my toy, feeling my eyes get a little heavy. The monster wasn't going away and I know I can't get out until it does. But I don't want to sleep yet, I want to wait a little longer for Mami to come back.

Reaching over, I grabbed a granola bar from the box that was inside with me. I let out a quiet sigh, wishing that Mami was walking into the house already. She knows that night time is when the monsters like to come out. She's outside with the monsters and she's always told me to never be outside with the monsters at night. Dracula came out at night and that's when he sucked people's blood. It makes sense that the monsters are the same. It's not fair she gives me so many rules but she doesn't always follow them. 

I put down Terry next to me and ripped the plastic wrapper a little bit, slowly, not wanting to make too loud of a noise. Listening, I took a bite and waited to see if it heard me or not. The only noise I heard was the loud crunching in my ears so I guess I was lucky it didn't hear me. I saved the other one for when Mami gets back. She likes the crunchy granola. 

A yawn came out of my mouth. If she doesn't come soon I'll fall asleep without her and I don't like it when Mami is gone too long. Last time she was gone for a whole day because they were too many monsters and she had to hide too. I hope she doesn't have to be gone too long. Rubbing my eyes, I tried to stay up a little bit longer. 

* * *

I looked out the window upstairs looking for Mami holding onto Terry so he wouldn’t fall from the windowsill. I ate the other granola bar I was saving for her, hopping a little bit up and down, bored. I looked at Terry's face, pulling at the string where his eye is supposed to be but it fell out yesterday. Terry always loses his right eye and I have to wait until it can be sewn back in. Maybe we can wash him too? I dropped him in mud a few days ago and even pulling off the dirt he was still dirty. 

Mami got me Terry because she said even monsters are scared of dinosaurs. I know she said that just to make me feel better though, especially when I'm alone. She got Terry before the real monsters came out. I do like Terry. He is even my favorite color of blue. At least when he is clean. Now he just looks grey-blue. He's still cool looking even with one eye less. Better having a triceratops than some dumb bunny like Lilliana got from Titi for her birthday before the monsters came out. 

Looking out the window, I saw a monster walk by the house, an old lady wearing a dirty yellow dress that looked like she went to sleep in. Sighing, I put down Terry momentarily as I reached for my slingshot and some rocks I picked up. I lined up the slingshot in the direction of the old lady and let go, watching as its head jerked back and the body fell with it. I didn’t grin like the first few times since I found out by accident I could kill the monsters with my slingshot. I put it down and grabbed hold of Terry again, waiting for Mami.

Probably an hour later, I saw something move out the window and I looked past the trees, trying to see what it is. If it's a monster or if it's Mami coming back. Squinting my eyes, I looked between the trees, trying to find what moved in the first place. My eyes stopped on the person that was moving. It's someone wearing a green sweater and black hair. Mami's back!!

Grinning, I grabbed my backpack with the food from the pantry I hid in and ran down the stairs. She's finally back after three days and I can't wait to show her the cans of frijoles that were stashed away. I even got some pineapples in a can to share and there are still four crunchy granola bars left. This was a good house to find stuff!

Reaching the front door, I started moving all the chairs out of the way so I could get out of the house. I finally opened the door and ran towards Mami, "Mami! You took forever!"

Mami started walking faster towards me, limping, not saying a word. I was about to ask her what took long but I stopped looking at her closely. She was limping, which is probably why it took her long to get back, but she was too quiet. I looked at her face and I hugged Terry to me, trying hard not to cry. Her eyes weren't like mine anymore. They were cloudy like the monsters. 

"No!" I screamed. The tears coming down my face anyway, making everything blurry. She **wasn't** supposed to get bit! She was supposed to come back so we could go to Grandma and Grandpa's house in Alabama. Then we would stay safe with them until things got better. 

I looked at her face again, mouth opening and closing, cloudy eyes. She wasn't smiling at me. Her eyes weren't the same as my hazel. When she got closer, I turned around to hide back in the house, where it was safe but stopped. Near the house were another two monsters growling, slower than Mami, but too close to the door. I went to grab the slingshot but it felt like ice water was thrown over me as I remembered I left it in the house. Tearfully, I looked back at Mami and ran away from them, away from the house. Maybe I can come back later but right now I need to hide. 

I rubbed my face quickly, wiping my hair and tears out of my face, trying to stop crying because I already broke the number one rule and if I can't stop crying more will find me. I ran past all the trees, the heavy backpack swinging and hitting me over and over. I still heard the monsters growling behind me and I looked to see how close. Mami was the closest but she was still far enough. I stopped, looking around, feeling like there was a rock pushing on my throat and chest. All I saw was trees everywhere. There was nowhere to hide but at the house. But I can't go back there. That means running back to the monsters. I'm supposed to run away from the monsters. 

Looking at the trees near me, I looked to see if there was a hole big enough for me. Rabbits dug holes to hide from other animals so they won't eat it. Maybe there was somewhere I could hide. But all I kept seeing was sticks, leaves, and dirt. I can climb a tree but I always need Mami to get me down because I'm too scared to jump down by myself. I don't want to get hurt. Looking up again I saw the other two monsters not far behind Mami, who was getting close again. 

I sniffed, wiping at the tears, happy that I'm not making noise but it still feels like there is a rock in my chest. I looked at Mami, wishing that it was a bad dream and I would just wake up to see her in the house waiting. Calling me sleepy head when I slept too long. I breathed in, remembering what Mami tells me when I'm upset, but I just started to breathe harder instead. 

Another cry escaped my mouth as I looked at her. She still looked the same but she was making noises and moving just like the other monsters do. Her clothes were dirtier but she still looked the same. How did she become a monster? Mami said you had to be bit but she doesn't look like she was bitten. I didn't see any blood on her.. Blood means that you are hurt or someone else was hurt bad, but nothing but the limping is different. 

A croaking gasp sounded nearby behind me and I quickly looked to see another monster not far behind me, its guts hanging out from its belly. Sniffling, I ran off trying to avoid all the monsters, clutching Terry tightly in my hand.


	2. A Farm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let the future overthinking begin. Because I am with the tags.

I clung tightly to the tree, foot dangling off the tree branch too nervous to jump down. George made it look easy climbing up and down the tree, but George also broke his arm once trying to get down from the tree. There aren't any doctors around anymore. I can't get my arm fixed like George did. Plus, George was taller and a little bit older than me. I called him a monkey and Uncle Paul didn't like that I did. Which isn't fair because George called me meaner things than me calling him a monkey. 

I focused on my current issue, biting my lip nervously, looking down. Terry was at the bottom of the tree, waiting. I wish I was like a stuffed toy and can just dropdown. Taking a deep breath, I turned around and slowly went down the tree, heart beating loudly. I kept looking down, hoping that I was close to the bottom but it felt forever till I was. 

I grabbed Terry and started walking in the direction that I think had the house. I lost track after running all over the place and one tree looked the same as the other tree. I hope I found the house because it's getting cold now and my sweater isn't a winter sweater. It's a yellow zip-up sweater that Mami grabbed from one of the houses we slept in before she….. 

I hugged Terry to me, walking as quietly as I can, listening carefully for the monsters. After a while, the trees got thinner and started seeing white fences. Grinning, I ran towards the fences, hoping to find a house to hide in for a little bit. Then I can sleep laying down in an actual bed! Way better than sitting in a tree where you can fall.

A soft moo was heard to the right of me and I gasped. There is a cow! 

I ran towards the mooing and there it was. A brown cow eating grass, flicking its tail trying to get rid of the flies. Maybe I can get some milk from the cow? I don't have a lot of water left in the bottle. I walked over slowly when the cow turned its head towards me, not wanting to scare it. After a few slow blinks, the cow went back to eating. Smiling, I walked a little bit faster, the cans rattling a little bit in my backpack. A giggle almost escaped me. The cans in my backpack almost sounded like a cowbell!

Standing next to the cow, I reached out, surprised how soft and warm the cow felt. A giggle escaped me as its skin twitched under my hand, the fur tickling a little. Remembering the field trip last year to one of the farms, I reached for an udder and squeezed down, just like we were shown. Frowning, I let go seeing that there wasn't any milk coming from the cow. Well, I can't say I didn't try. Maybe there were more cows?

I walked in front of the cow, so it could see me the whole time like Mrs. Mayer told us to on the field trip. I tried looking around but the grass was really tall in some spots. I walked towards the fence closest to me and everything became a green blur. I hit the ground hard, canned food slamming into my back, the sweaters hoodie covering my head. Blinded, I pushed back the hoodie a little bit looking behind me. Huffing, I saw my foot got stuck in cow poop. "Eww," I pulled my foot out of it, staring at my dirty shoe. Yuck…

I sat up, shifting the backpack so I could stand upright, hoping I didn't get cow poop all over me. My sweater got more dirt on it but it's okay. No poop. I ran my hands over my sweater, trying to get some dirt off my hands, looking around for Terry. Thankfully, Terry didn't get thrown too far and I picked him up, back to the plan of climbing the fence. 

I shook my foot, trying to get as much poop off but I think it made it worse. Reaching the white fence, I scraped the poop off on the white wood, not wanting to touch it. Now I'm going to have a stinky foot. Sighing, I pushed off the ground and quickly reached for the top of the fence and pulled myself up, trying to look over some of the tall grass. I saw lots of cows but I also saw a house and a big car. Grinning, I was happy to see a house and if there were still cows, that meant monsters didn't come this way yet! 

I scraped the bottom of my shoe some more of the fence, so I won't slip everywhere in case I need to run. I was ready to jump off the fence when I heard a shout. Wide-eyed, I froze on the spot, eyes darting around looking to see where the shout came from. People were just as bad as monsters. Last time we saw people, they were chasing us with guns, and Mami said that they were bad people.

I looked back at the house and saw someone standing on top of the big car. They weren't standing there before. It looked like it was a man with a hat but he also had a gun. And guns can go far really fast. I jumped off the fence and started running along the fence, knowing that the tall grass is gonna hide me better if I run next to it. I saw movies where people ran in cornfields but you can see it moving. It's the same thing but with grass. And Abuela said you don't learn anything from movies. 

I reached the end of the fence and climbed between the big holes, trying to get far away. If I found this house that has cows it means its a farm and where there is one farm there is another. Maybe the other farm doesn't have people in it like that one did. I stopped running once it felt like I got far. One thing Mami taught me is that now we don't have food every day, we don't have lots of energy to use up. I have only one bar left and I can't open the cans because I need a can opener. The can opener was in Mami's bag back at the other house and I can't carry a backpack as big as me!

Pouting, I stopped walking to rub my poop covered shoe into the dirt. Even if I did have the can opener I don't know how to use it anyway. Whose bright idea was it to not have the thingy where you can pop open the can without the can opener? 

Huffing, I pushed down the yellow hoodie on my head and started walking again. When I get to a house, the first thing I'm looking for is a can opener. Abuela always said that unless you need something you won't know-how. Or at least that's the English way of saying it anyway. Well, now I need to know how to use a can opener, so that means I'll learn how.

Grandma and Grandpa always got the cans with the thingy to open with. I think Abuela had something against them too because I never saw her use a can opener before. Don't know why. Grown-ups did things weird and old people even weirder. I can ask all I want but Abuela treated me like a big baby. How will I know if you don't tell me or show me? That's why I liked Grandpa. He showed me and talked to me like a big kid. But he definitely didn't make a yummy apple pie or monfongo like Grandma and Abuela.

I stopped, hearing something weird, waiting for whatever it was to make another sound. I crouched down, trying to make myself as tiny as a ball, listening. I heard it again from the direction I was just running from. Is it the people from the farm? 

I stayed put a little longer until the voices got a little louder. Definitely people from the farm. I sprung up and started running towards the tall grass I was walking next to. If I stay out here, they can see me, but if I hide in the grass and wait for them to walk by, then I can run off without them knowing. I pushed through the tall grass, walking a little bit slow because I don't want to make it too obvious that I'm walking here. I stopped and crouched down again trying to see if I could see them through the grass. 

I hugged Terry closer to me, hiding my face in his head, watching and listening. Not long after I did, I saw two people pop up. Both were men but one had a gun and the other had a big bow. I definitely don't want them to find me. They might take my food. And it was my food. Not theirs. 

"Tracks go in there." The man with the bow said pointing where I was hiding. He can find me?

"Sophia?" The man with the gun called out. Trying to see through the grass. 

I clung onto Terry harder, afraid to move. If they see me move they might both shoot me thinking I'm a monster. But if they come here, they'll see me and take the food. I wish Mami was here, still her, not like the monsters. She would know what to do. I closed my eyes, scared, hoping that they would just walk away. 

I felt being pulled backward and a scream escaped me before I could stop myself. I struggled, trying to pull away from whoever grabbed me, using Terry to hit behind me. A snarl echoed in my ear and I panicked, heart beating in my ears. Turning around, I saw a monster crawling on its belly, grabbing my backpack. The monster's face was falling off and all I could see was the bones, teeth-gnashing together, and it stunk worse than the cow poop on my shoe. Crying, I pulled hard, holding onto the backpacks straps, trying to get away but I couldn't. It pulled me closer and I closed my eyes, know that the bite was going to happen. 

Instead, a loud bang sounded behind me. Opening them, I saw the monsters head blown to bits, its brains were everywhere. I looked to see both of the men standing behind me, all blurry. Both of them looked at me, obviously not sure what to say, and I pulled the monster's claws off my bag, running. 

I didn't get far. I felt two hands pick me up and I started kicking, trying to hit whoever got me. "Hold on, quit kickin' me!" 

I didn't say anything but swung Terry out, hoping that Terry would hit their face. "Relax, we ain't gonna hurt ya." The other voice said, his voice sounded softer than the first man. 

Instead of being dropped, like I thought, I felt weightless as I spun around until I felt like I was falling down. Two arms wrapped around me and I clung tightly to Terry's arm. I looked at the man's face in shock who was frowning at me. Did he just throw me in the air?

"Quit. Hittin'. Me." He stressed carefully to me. 

I felt my lips trembling, the tears only blurring the man's face more. "Ah, shit, don't start cryin'!"

"Hey, hey," the other man started talking and I looked over, seeing him put the gun in his belt slowly. He was smiling and it looked like his eyes were too. Mami said bad people don't try to make their eyes smile. I didn't get it until now. "It's alright, I'm Rick, what's your name?"

I didn't say anything but looked back at the man holding me. I sniffed, trying not to cry. He looked like he wasn't comfortable. Or maybe that's how he looked. "That's Daryl, we were looking for a little girl." The other man kept talking. 

I looked back down at the monster whose head was everywhere. He looked like he didn't have any legs and his guts were spilling out behind him. " 'Ey, the man is talking to ya! Did ya see a little girl anywhere." Darryl, the man holding me, growled. 

Nope, not a nice man. I started kicking again, surprising him when I kicked his belly, following up with a headshot of Terry. I felt thrown up in the air again but slammed into the body of the other man, Rick.

"I though' I told you to quit hittin' me!" 

"Daryl, she's scared," Rick grunted as I wasn't giving him any easier time than I was giving Daryl. 

"Let's get back to the others and regroup. Her parents are probably around looking for her, maybe they found Sophia. We'll give her back then."

I stopped kicking and looked at Rick. He smiled, "Yeah, like the sound of that? Back to Mom and Dad?" 

He talked to me like I was a baby but I started crying without meaning to. The heavy feeling in my chest came back thinking of Mami. I can't go back. There is no going back. I don't know how to go back. I shook my head and bit one of Terry's arms, muffling the sounds of me crying. I had to do this the last few days whenever I thought of Mami. Because without her showing me how to calm down anymore I blubbered like a baby.

Both men were quiet. I felt a hand push my head into a neck and I stayed there. The shushing and rocking back and forth was something Mami used to do. I felt myself calm down, my blubbering calming down, and let go of Terry's arm to breath in better. "Let's head back." Rick was telling the other man.


	3. Cookies!

Rick carried me back to the farm I saw earlier with the big car. Getting closer, I saw that there were lots of people waiting for them, and I looked at Rick nervously. He noticed me staring and smiled, "It's okay, maybe we can ask Patricia if there's a cookie with your name on it, huh?"

My tearful eyes narrowed on the man. I haven't seen a cookie since the monsters crawled out from their graves. I felt more than heard him chuckle, but his smile got bigger, with the sound. I heard Daryl scoff and I looked over at him, seeing him shake his head, my eyes narrowing further before looking back at Rick.

"It's true," he went on, "my son, Carl, got three cookies just yesterday."

I clutched Terry to my chest, letting out a small huff, letting him know I'll believe it when I see it. 

"Well, this kid sure as hell ain't Sophia. Who is she?" Another voice, just as gruff as Daryl sounded earlier. 

Wide-eyed, I looked over my shoulder to the group of people that were so close to us already. Either Rick moves fast or these people walked up to us so quiet, like ninjas. I looked over seeing a bald man glaring over at me. I looked at Rick, hiding my face into Terry's head again, waiting for him to say something to the bald man. Rick frowned at the other man. "Shane, it's a kid, take it easy. We just got her to stop crying and she’ll startup if you scare her."

The bald man, Shane, said nothing but ran a large hand over his head and face, the other hand on his hip. "Okay, but we can't just pick up every kid we find." He waved a hand at me. "What if the kid's parents come looking for her? We can't afford to get into some fight with other people because you took someone's kid!"

"I don't think she's got anyone," Rick told them. I looked over at Daryl who glanced over at me. I bit my lip, not wanting to cry, trying not to tear up. Again. They'll treat me like a bigger baby if I do. 

"Don't think? Did you even ask her?" Shane nearly shouted at Rick. I flinched at the sound. He's loud. If he gets louder the monsters will come. 

"She ain' talking. She bawled her eyes out last time when we asked. Quit yer yellin'." Daryl growled at the man.

"I must’ve seen her. She's wearing yellow. Must've had the hood on her head and just thought it was Sophia looking over." My eyes roamed over the group seeing a man with a hat. I pointed at the big car, looking at him. 

He grinned. "That’s right, kiddo."

I grinned back. He looked okay. Most old people were grouchy or cheek pinchy and he looked like he was going on a fishing trip. Grandpa fished a lot and when he took me with all his fishing buddies, they were nice people. I haven't met a fisherman who wasn't a nice person. Yet, anyway. Grandpa said that every group has a bad egg.

"Well, she's here so let's get her cleaned up." A woman said. I looked over but there were three of them standing closely, so I can't tell who said it.

"Did ya check her bag?" Shane asked, closer than before, reaching for it. I didn't think other than swung Terry at him. That's my bag.

"Hey!" Shane growled, but I glared back at him. 

"She kicks too." Daryl warned, walking towards the house, walking away from everyone. 

"Isn't she spunky?" The lady with the blonde hair smirked my way. 

"Now, now," Rick chuckled in my ear. "Be nice or you won't get any cookies anytime soon."

I just leveled him a look Mami tended to throw my way when she didn't believe a word coming out of my mouth. A loud laugh barked to my left and I quickly looked over to see a black guy chuckling, “I never thought I would see a kid give the same look my Mom did.”

“Oh,” a lady with short hair asked, waiting for the man to expand on his thought.

He pointed at me, “That look says she doesn’t believe a word coming out of Rick’s mouth.”

Smart man.

I just looked back at Rick before sparing another look at Shane's way, not wanting him to touch my backpack. My bag is off-limits, thank you very much. I noticed a lady with long brown hair walk over to me and Rick with a small smile on her face. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”

I didn’t say anything other than hiding my face behind Terry’s head and leaning into Rick’s neck, his beard feeling scratchy on my head. I looked over the brown-haired lady and she looked very pretty, especially her smile. She was taller and skinnier than Mami. Well, everyone was taller than Mami but she looked like a nice lady. So far, only Shane and Daryl seemed to be mean.

She leaned away from me, a smile still in place. “Alright, but let’s see about getting you a bath before that cookie. You look like you’ve been living in the woods.”

Lady, I was living in the woods for the last week…

“That’s my wife, Lori,” Rick’s voice echoed in my ear. I glanced up seeing him straining his neck to look at me. “Why don’t you let her take you inside for a bath.”

I looked down at Terry and my hands holding him. They do look pretty bad. If Terry was covered in a lot of dirt and mud, then so am I. Plus, the cow poop was still on my shoe just not as bad. Wrinkling my nose, I figured that I’m definitely worse off than Terry and he was being thrown all over the place. I probably smell worse. 

Looking over at Lori, I nodded, wiggling to signal I wanted down. Thankfully, he did just that and I held out my hand to Lori, waiting for her to show me where the bathroom was.

“Oh my gosh, she’s so tiny!” the Chinese man said. I glared up at him, letting out a huff. I’m a kid, of course, I’m small compared to you! I wanted to say it too but all I could get out of my mouth was a huff. 

A few chuckles surrounded me and I frowned. “Sweetheart,” the old man called to me, “how old are you?”

I held up six fingers with a grin, comfortable with the older man. See, I’m almost ten. That means that I’m not a baby anymore but a big kid. I filled up a whole hand. I got four more fingers to go!

“Look at that grin!” The lady with the short hair exclaimed arms crossed across her chest, smiling at me.

“Alright kiddo, let’s get you cleaned up, let’s get that backpack off you and head inside.” Lori reached for the bag but I dodged her hand, narrowing my eyes at the hand that reached for my bag. 

Shane snorted, “Just hand over the bag, kid. You’ll get it back after a bath.” 

I shoved Terry in my sweater and zipped it up, quickly gripping onto the backpacks straps, holding tight. Shane moved to probably grab the bag but the Chinese man said something before he did. “Okay, your bag. We get it.” Handheld out to Shane, stopping him from moving forward. 

“Oh, I like her.” The blonde hair lady said, a full set of teeth shining my way. “Don’t let anyone boss you around, huh?”

I just tilted my head and looked over at Lori who was starting to wave me over towards the house. “Come on, let’s get you washed up.”

I ran past them and Lori, reaching the steps to the porch before anyone could stop me. Once I reached the door, I looked down at my dirty shoe and stepped out of them, careful not to fall over when I used one foot to pull the other shoe off. I glanced at my feet. My socks looked really dirty too. Maybe I should take them off before going into the house? I looked up to see Lori smiling down at me as I wiggled my toes, waiting for her to tell me to take them off or keep them on. It definitely felt good to wiggle my toes after wearing shoes for a long time. She opened the door to the house, reaching down to hold my hand, and I let her as she guided me in. 

“Herschel?” Lori called out. I looked up at her confused. I thought she was the one who was going to show me the bathroom. 

An older man walked out of a room, looking down at me in surprise. “Is that Sophia? From what I understood, I thought she was the same age as Carl?”

Lori looked like she tried to smile but couldn’t, “Dale thought he saw Sophia over the fence. Rick and Daryl found her instead.”

That’s right, they asked if I saw her when they found me. I frowned, looking at the hand holding mine, wondering how long she was missing. Lori’s hand gently tugged at mine and I looked up to see her smiling at me. “I was wondering if you would mind if we borrowed your bathroom to clean her up.”

OH, it’s his house. I looked closer at the old man with the bushy white eyebrows and suspenders. Well, he definitely looks like a farmer, and this is a farm. It makes sense. 

Herschel blinked down at me and then a smile slowly appeared. “Course, she can.” He replied and he looked down at my feet, where my toes were wiggling nervously. “Where are your shoes?” He asked. I pointed behind me, so when he would look he would see one poop covered shoe that needed to be cleaned as bad as me.

“She took them off before coming in because one shoe was very dirty, right?” Lori looked down at me. I nodded, pulling Terry out from my sweater, feeling comfortable holding onto Terry. Herschel's smile got wider. “Well, someone is a polite little lady. I’ll make sure you have a cookie as a reward, I’ll ask Patricia.”

A gasp escaped me as I looked up at Lori with big eyes. So there were cookies! I don’t care if they are nasty oatmeal cookies. A cookie is a cookie!

But I do hope it’s chocolate chip cookies.

* * *

After the bath, I was taken to the kitchen where another smaller older lady was. I quickly suspected she was Patricia because she brought me not just a plate with two cookies, the yucky oatmeal raisin cookies, but a glass of milk too. At this point, a cookie is a cookie. So here I am, eating an oatmeal raisin cookie kicking excitedly under the table, 

Terry drying up on a towel in a chair next to me. Backpack under the table in front of me.

Knew there had to be a cow with milk somewhere.

I heard someone walk into the kitchen behind me and saw Rick and Herschel. Herschel didn’t look happy and Rick looked a little stressed. Both men stared over at me and I just grinned, happy with my cookie and milk. “Well ain’t you a sight for sore eyes.” Rick laughed. “Enjoying the cookie?”

I nodded enthusiastically. Patricia was sitting across from me at the table, smiling down softly. “She is such a gem, her Momma must be missing her.” 

I shook my head no at that. I miss Mami more than she misses me. She’s a monster now. And Mami said that monster’s don’t remember people and that they are like zombies wanting to eat you up, blood and all. So she doesn’t remember who I am anymore. 

Patricia frowned at that. “All Momma’s love their babies…”

I just imitated the monsters outside, fingers curled like claws. No one said anything for a moment until Herschel asked himself, “And your Daddy?”

I shrugged. Grandma and Grandpa were just as mad as my Abuela that he didn’t want me. If Grandma didn’t show me pictures I wouldn’t know what he looked like now. I got my nose and curly hair from him, and Mami sometimes says I’m just as stubborn as him, but Abuela tells me Mami is stubborn too so..... 

“What about aunts and uncles? Grandparents?” Rick worried. 

I grabbed my glass of milk thinking about it. Abuela was one of the first to become a monster after Mr. Jacobs bit her. Titi and Uncle Paul both had their own families. Titi moved to Florida and Uncle Paul to California. So I don’t know how they are. Only Grandma and Grandpa would stay home but I don’t know where they live in Alabama either. Then to answer Rick’s question, I shrugged, taking a sip of milk to wash down the cookie.

The kitchen was quiet and I just touched one of the buns on my head, feeling how wet it still was. Lori put my hair up in two buns on the top of my head that I liked. I think they look like panda ears and pandas are cute.

I completely missed the look the adults gave each other in the silence. 


	4. Just the Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy it!   
> I stared too long at this before posting it. Ever feel like something isn't right but you don't know what?

I was on the farm for two days and I got to meet everyone who was here. Everyone is really nice, except Shane, who was still rude and mean. I think it’s because everyone likes listening to Rick more than him. Carol, I found out is Sophia’s mom, told me that Daryl looks mean but he is really nice. He is looking for Sophia and is working very hard to bring her home. Which kinda made sense, he wasn’t mad that he found me, just upset I wasn’t Sophia. Plus, he never did say anything mean to me anyway. He doesn’t talk much anyway except when they brought him to the house yesterday cause he got hurt. He said a lot of things then. Lots of not nice things. 

I snuck into the room he was in to see how he was doing. He didn’t look too happy to be there but he got hurt. He tried getting me to leave the room, but I was more interested if his side was okay. Mami was a nurse and she explained to me that you need to make sure to keep cuts dry and clean. Since he wasn’t letting me see his side, I hopped on the bed to look at the scratch on his head. I think he stopped shouting at me when he realized I was just checking where he was hurt. I patted his face with a grin, my way of saying he looked okay before I jumped off and ran out the door.

Herschel, I found out, is a doctor who also helped Carl who got hurt by accident. That's why Rick and everyone with him is here in the first place. Then there is Glenn’s girlfriend, Maggie, who is Herschel’s oldest daughter with her sister, Beth. Maggie and Beth are both very pretty but I’m surprised someone as old as Herschel has very young daughters. I thought that they were his grandkids but it’s probably a good thing I haven’t said anything to anyone yet. That would have been awkward. Really awkward.

I tried hanging out with Carl, seeing if he wanted to play Go Fish after ‘school’. He said something about me being a baby. Not a fan but I tried again another day where he yelled at me again. Then the jerk had the gall to rip Terry from my arms and threw him! Safe to say, that was that. If he wants to find something else to do after math and reading, then I’ll find something else to do too. Last time, I caught him stealing a gun from the big car and waved the gun at me like he was going to shoot me! Like I said, I find my own stuff to do. 

Like now, I was walking towards Daryl’s tent, which is far away from everyone for some reason. Maybe he doesn’t like people?

As I was walking up to his camp, Daryl probably already saw me coming his way, kept cutting away at sticks. Getting closer, I saw that he had a large pile of them, and then I remembered he had a bow. He was probably making arrows. Sitting next to him, I was watching him make them when he stopped. Confused, I looked up, wondering why he would stop making arrows so sudden. He squinted down at me, “Wha’ ya want?” Shuffling away from me. “Gonna poke at me again?”

I shrugged, pulling Terry into my lap so he wouldn’t drag on the ground, trying to keep him clean. It took a really long time for Terry to dry last time and it was annoying when he was wet and cold. Having a dryer would have helped big time. Daryl didn’t say anything for a moment before grunting and going back to making his arrows. I just stared as he did, seeing how he carved the bark off the stick and ran a finger over the stick every once in a while. Sometimes he even held it out or looked down at it. Didn’t get why until I noticed the ones that he tossed away looked a little bent. Arrows are supposed to be straight, right? 

Getting a bit distracted, I saw something move in the distance, looking carefully it looked like a person. It was walking on two feet slowly, so it might be a monster too. I reached out to Daryl, tapping his shoulder to get his attention. He stopped what he was doing and I pointed to the figure in the distance. His eyes narrowed in on it, “Wait here.”

He quickly grabbed his bow and some of the finished arrows he had. I waited for him to go out a little further, feeling anxious at staying in the camp by myself. Mami never let me stay too far away when we were out in the open. If she had to kill a monster out in the open, she hid me nearby, or stay near her just in case. Never to stay this far away. I bit my lip nervously, waiting for him to go further, and when he was far out, he turned around to see if I stayed put.

Maybe it’s a good thing I waited a little longer.

When he was halfway, my belly was starting to hurt, so I quickly ran behind him quietly as possible. He raised the bow up, ready to shoot. I stayed put, just in case he hears me and thinks I’m a monster too. The monster fell before I saw the arrow fly. Wide-eyed, I looked at the awesome bow and wondered if he could show me one day. Then over to the monster that was laying still, an arrow sticking out its head. 

Quickly, I walked next to Daryl, holding Terry close to my chest as I looked at the dead monster. “Dammit, thought I told you to stay put.” Daryl growled at me. I looked up at him, blinking slowly, knowing by now that any trick with smiles or grins wouldn’t work with him. Instead, I shrugged and walked over to the monster, sitting down holding its hand. I went to reach the monster's face, to close the monster’s eyes when I felt a hand wrap around my arm and pull me up. “The hell ya think ya doin’?!” He yelled.

I blinked up at him. “Mami...”

This was the first time I think I’ve seen his eyes go big. His head snapped over to the monster and back to me. I pulled my arm out of his hand, sitting down next to her, and went back to close her eyes. Smiling, I brushed her hair back, like she did when I was sleeping. She looked a little dirty, from being in the woods for days and all, but now she looked like my Mami. Just like when we were back home and I crawled into her bed when she was sleeping. She always had her hair everywhere on the pillow, getting all knotty later because she forgot to put it in a ponytail. The pretty silver necklace with the tiny blue stone that never left her neck because it was a gift from Abuelo before he became an angel. 

I ran a finger over the bluestone, thinking of taking it, but then Mami wouldn’t look right without it. The heavy feeling in my chest came back and I felt the tears leaking out of my eyes. This is probably the last time I will see Mami. When Abuela became a monster, we had to say goodbye, like I am to Mami now. We didn’t see her again and Mami said Abuela went to be with Abuelo in the sky to be an angel. Every time Mami thought about Abuela, she cried but she had me to take care of. I guessed this means that Mami is going to be there with them as an angel too? 

But when Abuela died, Mami wasn’t alone. She had me. Now I had no one.

I sniffed, not wanting to look like a baby with a runny nose, and rubbed my eyes with my arm. Frowning, I looked up at Darryl, wondering if I could take it or not. He was standing there, a bit awkward, but tilted his head towards the necklace. “Want it?”

I nodded. He scoffed, “Well, take it, not like she’ll mind ya got it.”

I looked back and ran a finger over the stone one more time before turning the necklace around, trying to unclasp the necklace. It was getting hard because not only were my eyes getting blurry again, some of Mami’s skin was coming off, and eventually, I looked up at Daryl. 

He let out a big sigh, “Move o’er…”

I did, wiping my hands on the grass because they felt slimy, watching as Daryl had an easier time getting the necklace off. 

“Need to wash it…” he mumbled as he handed the necklace over to me. I nodded, putting the necklace in my back pocket and Daryl wiped his hands on his pants. When he finished wiping them off I grabbed his hand, ready to go. 

He looked like he wanted to pull his hand away but I held on tighter, looking up at him. He glared down at me for a bit, making me a bit nervous, but Carol said he was a nice man. Just very mean and scary looking when he wanted to be. After a small stare down, he grunted and tugged me along, looking around the place, probably looking for more monsters. I looked at his side, remembering the arrow was sticking out of his belly. 

My eyes must have been like lasers because he noticed where I was looking. He scoffed, “I’m fine, don’t touch it.”

I looked up at him, doubtful that he is as fine as he says he is. My foot hurt once when I stepped on a pebble wrong. He had a whole arrow inside his actual belly. I’m pretty sure an arrow inside your belly wins over a pebble. He glared down at me as if expecting me to say anything different. I just blinked up at him in reply. 

We were back at his camp before I knew it. He quickly dropped my hand and I just clutched onto Terry with it instead. “Go find Lori,” he said.

I frowned, looking towards the farmhouse wondering if I would find her if she’s going to have me help fold laundry like yesterday. I scrunched up my nose and shook my head no, glancing over to him. He put down his bow against the wooden log and sat down, waiting for me to do what he said. Leaning forward, he pointed back to the farmhouse. “Git.”

I stood where I was, lightly stomping my foot into the ground with a glare, clearly telling him no. He growled at me, “I said git! I ain’t ya babysitter or Papa! Now go on, git outta ‘ere!”

“No soy una perrita para decir que me voy en ese manera!” I growled out at him and quickly turned on my heel. 

I ran off towards the RV that Dale owned instead of going back to the farmhouse. I would probably find Dale over there and he told me these stories about what he and the Mrs. would do before the monsters. Once I was close to the car that was like a house, I grabbed my shirt and rubbed my face, trying to get rid of any tears on my face. Sometimes before Mami picked me up from daycare, a quick rub with a shirt worked. She would think I did something crazy at daycare with the other kids. I didn’t have the energy to tell her that the kids were being mean again. I know it made her sad too.

Walking up to the RV, I saw Rick grabbing a big bag from Dale, who was the first to notice me. He grinned, “Hey there, sweetheart!”

Rick glanced over, knowing that Dale called me sweetheart. “Where have you been? Lori was looking for you.”

I looked at Rick wide-eyed at that statement. She was expecting me to help fold laundry again, wasn’t she? I mean she made me fold the tiny stuff but folding clothes is boring and pointless! You’re gonna wear it again anyway and you just stuff it in a backpack for later.

Both men chuckled at my hesitant look. “She make you do laundry?” Rick asked.

I nodded, ready to bolt the other way if he so much as suggested to do so anyway. Instead, Rick shook his head with a grin and glanced at his watch, as if checking the time. “We’re heading out in a bit,” Rick glanced at Dale. Intrigued, I stood next to Dale, trying to figure out what was going on. Rick looked at me for a bit, rubbing the side of his face contemplating something before letting out a sigh. “Me and Shane are gonna teach others how to shoot a gun, wanna come?”

My eyes must have started shining brightly like diamonds because Rick quickly shot down the idea of me learning to shoot. “Oh no,” he shook his head. “You’re just gonna watch, I don’t think there is a gun small enough for your hands.”

A small growl escaped me as I held out a hand in front of me, trying to see how big or small they were. I had to be so tiny, huh?

Both men had grins on their faces. Dale’s hand quickly patted my head, “Probably not a good idea to take her just yet.”

I pouted up at Dale. It sounds like a perfect idea to go. I looked up at Rick, “Carl?”

Both men blinked at me in surprise before Rick answered, “Carl is going-”

I gasped at the indignity and Rick held up a hand. “Carl is twelve years old, he is a little older than you-” I narrowed my eyes in disbelief”- and his hands are big enough to hold a gun.” Rick finished. 

I pouted for a bit before letting out a huff of defeat. Curse my tiny hands.

Dale wrapped a hand around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him, “It’s okay, you get to keep me company here for a little bit.”

I looked up at the old man smiling down at me. Dale really did have some nice stories. I just nodded and both men seemed to be happy it was left with that. For as long my hands can’t hold a gun, I’ll let it go. It was just a matter of time. Everyone was a little kid once. Even Carl had tinier hands at one point.

I nodded, figuring that there isn’t much I could do now. I followed Dale to the camp with T-Dog being the only one there, snacking on a peach on top of the RV. I narrowed in on the peach, wondering where he managed to get one. T-Dog noticed and laughed. “You’ll get your own, you’ll see.”

I pouted but nodded anyway as T-Dog looked over at Dale. “You ready?”

Dale looked confused. “Ready for what?”

“Your turn to watch.” T-Dog deadpanned. Dale looked a bit conflicted as he looked down at me and I shrugged, pointing at T-Dog. The man looked confused as to why I pointed over at him but I just grinned devilishly. Dale chuckled at the grin I sent T-Dog’s way. “Be nice,” he pointed at me. I nodded, closing one eye playfully at him, a grin still on my face.

He looked up at T-Dog, “Let me just get her paper and some pencils.” 

With that Dale disappeared into the RV as T-Dog started to climb down. I waited patiently for Dale to come out with some paper so I can try to entertain myself in the meantime. Seemed like Dale had it close by the last time I was here because it didn’t take him long to get it. He handed me the clipboard and then turned to get the rifle from T-Dog. I was writing out on the clipboard as they did the exchange.

T-Dog was ready to walk off but I grabbed his hand quickly to stop him. I held out a finger to signal to give me a second as I wrote out my question to him: Where are the peach trees?

He looked a bit confused but answered me all the same. “Somewhere around here, Glenn just walked around with a box of them and handed them out.”

I tapped the pencil against my mouth, thinking of where the trees could be. “Even if you found them, you can’t get the peaches.” He stated. I gave him a look before writing out another sentence: I can climb it.

He crossed his arms. “Oh really,” he asked, “with those tiny arms.”

I huffed, writing out another sentence and gave him the clipboard once more. ‘Youtube. Cousin George had a treehouse his dad made and I learned how to use a belt to get me up trees that were too big.’

I waited for his facial expression to change before he looked down at me and I stuck at my tongue playfully. He handed me back the clipboard, “That’s how you survived out there?” I nodded then quickly wrote another word, showing it to him.

“Slingshots?” he asked in disbelief.

Smirking, I wrote out another sentence and handed him the clipboard. ‘That was an accident. First it was just to hit George and Gabriel when they were being mean to me at BBQs. When I waited for Mami, I hit monsters with them instead. But I lost my slingshot in the woods.’ I put a frown next to that.


	5. Fake Apologies

Everything was okay until people came back from the shooting practice. All of the grown-ups were acting weird and even Maggie was mad with Glenn. I didn't want to be near all the arguing so I went back to Dale, just to see that Shane was pointing a finger at Dale. I didn't come much closer to know that finger point was a bad one. Shane was the first to see me and he frowned, putting hands on his hips. "What did you hear?" He asked.

Dale looked confused until his face looked horrified to see me there. Obviously, what they talked about was bad. I clutched onto Terry a little tighter, keeping an eye on Shane, just in case. Lori says Shane is a good man but he scares me. He's always yelling and gives me mean looks. I glanced over at Dale, who reached a hand out to me, and I quickly ran over to latch myself onto his leg. 

"Girl, what did you hear?" Shane asked again, his tone sounded stressed.

"Leave the girl alone, Shane. She heard nothing, isn't that right sweetheart?" Dale looked down at me, with a look in his eye that I learned from Grandpa to agree. I nodded my head looking up at Dale, quickly glancing over to Shane, who scowled down at me. I really didn't hear anything. I blinked up at him, waiting for him to say something, but instead, he stalked off.

I looked back at Dale, who let out a long tired sigh. "Be a good girl and don't tell anyone anything." He thought about it and chuckled, "Well, you haven't said a word yet so that's likely a good thing right now, huh."

Oh, Daryl might tell you otherwise, but that's a topic for another day.

"Come on, let's go see what Carol cooked up for us." He gently started pushing me in the direction of the camp. Kinda happy we weren't having another awkward dinner in the house. I don't think Herschel likes anyone from Rick's group, especially Shane. At least he likes me. He lets me share a room with Beth. 

Coming near the fire, everyone from Rick's group was gathered around. Daryl was a bit off to the side like he usually is and Andrea was on watch but I guess they let her come down to at least get a plate. Daryl grabbed what looked like green beans in his hands and tossed them in his mouth. I scrunch my nose at the motion. He ate messy.

Carol was the first to see us coming close. "Is the little missy joining us today?" She asked.

I nodded my head, grinning up at the short-haired woman. Sophia was lucky to have a nice lady like Carol to be her mom. Lori was nice but she's a bit too strict, like Titi. Daryl snorted, "She can talk just fine. Started yellin' at me in Spanish earlier today."

"Is that so?" Shane's voice drawled from a corner. I leaned closer to Dale when I saw him hidden from view by Dale's body. 

"She doesn't look Spanish." Carl chimed in, frowning as he took a look at me. I narrowed my eyes over at him. I hated that phrase! All the Spanish kids from the daycare said I was a fake because I didn’t look like them.

I growled, "Y tu no te pareces como un baboso pero eres!" 

T-Dog started laughing as Carl looked confused as to what I yelled at him. I looked at Lori, who gave me a look Mami always gave me when she meant to say be nice. "Now, just because we don't know what you said doesn't mean we know it wasn't nice." Lori said slowly.

I pouted, holding Terry close to me as I glared over at Carl, who returned the glare wholeheartedly. "You are such a baby!"

"Ya tengo mis seis años y eso quiere decir qué deje de ser una hace unos meses. Tu nunca tenies algo bueno para decir entonces cállate la boca!" I shouted back at him and let go of Dale's hand, stalking off to Herschel's house. 

Before I even went far, I felt two hands pick me up. I glanced up to see it was Rick who picked me up turning me so he could carry me better. "Now, I don't know Spanish much but I know you said to shut up, which isn't very nice." 

I huffed, narrowed eyes looking into stern blue ones. "Girl," Daryl's voice drawled from his seat, "did yer Mami raise ya like that?"

I flinched, looking over at Daryl, who gave me the same stern look Rick was currently giving me. Mami would have given me a good few swats to my butt if I did. She would also give me a warning to let me know I was crossing a line. "Well," Daryl pressed.

"No…" I mumbled into Terry's head, but it was heard loud enough. 

"Then what ya think yer Mami would say?" His voice getting deeper into an accent that I learned people from the countryside tend to have. Or rednecks as Abuela calls them.

"Pow-pow…" I answered back.

I heard a cough and a few throat clearings, but I kept my eyes on Daryl, whose stern gaze kept on me. "Then say ya sorry to Carl."

I gaped at him, "He's a meanie too!"

"Am not!" Carl chimed in. 

I glared over at him and he had no problems glaring at me. "You always call me a baby, almost threw Terry into a mud puddle when I wanted to play cards, then you yelled at me to go away and almost shot me when you took the gun from the RV!"

Lori's posture shifted to look down at Carl, who nervously looked up at his mom. He already got caught with stealing the gun but I huffed in victory. "Carl!" Both Lori and Rick shouted.

"I never was going to shoot her, she's lying!" He yelled back.

"No, I'm not!" Waving a gun at a person means you're going to shoot them. I've seen it happen a lot since the monsters came out."You're the liar! You took the gun and then always disappear from your mom and then lie about what you're doing!"

Carl glared over at me, gritting his teeth. "I never was going to shoot you."

"Right now, you don't have a good track record, Carl." Shane butted in, shaking his head.

Carl looked over at Shane in disbelief and then glared back at me before running off with a growl. Thank you for only solidifying my point, Carl, pleasure doing business with you.

Lori rubbed her face and yelled after Carl, chasing after him. I looked over at Rick, who was looking back at me. "Okay, so I can stop calling you kiddo, what's your name?" Rick asked.

Okay, safe question with a safe answer. 

"Cielo Valentina Cruz Sheppard." I replied proudly, tilting my head to the side a bit. 

"Now, Cielo," Rick took a moment to say my name. "Tell me the truth."

Oh, boy.

"Was Carl really going to shoot you? Because that is something very serious to say and if he did, he's going to be in real big trouble." 

I blinked in response. "Worse than pow-pow trouble." He continued and I knew my eyes were wide. What can be worse than pow-pow? 

"When you wave a gun at someone that means you're gonna shoot them." I replied carefully. I knew this game. George and I played Judge, Jury, and Defendant with his Mami. Sometimes she let me be the lawyer, and you always have to be careful with what you say, and how. 

Rick let out a breath of air before he smiled at me. "Cielo, waving a gun doesn't mean someone is going to shoot you."

"When me and Mami were trying to get to Grandma and Grandpa's in 'Bama lots of people waved their guns. And they were shooting." I replied back, not wanting to hear someone waving a gun didn't mean they were ready to shoot you. I lived through that experience, thank you very much.  


"Sweetheart," Dale started, "that was bad people. Carl isn't a bad person. He wasn't going to shoot you."

I narrowed my eyes at that but didn't say anything. I looked back at Rick. "Can I go now?"

He chuckled, shaking his head no. "First, you're going to say sorry to Carl and then he's going to say sorry to you."

I sighed in defeat, rolling my head back dramatically. "Fine…"

"She's so tiny but she's a bit of a spitfire, isn't she?" I heard Andrea say to someone. Whoever they were, they just laughed a little in reply. 

He put me down, pushing me back towards the camp. Looking around, I sat next to T-Dog who was grinning down at me. "Aren't you full of trouble." He teased.

I shrugged and took a look at his plate, seeing what Carol had cooked them to eat. Yup, green beans, carrots, with a side of chicken. Definitely from Herschel. T-Dog playfully pulled his plate away, "Nope, get your own. What’s with you trying to eat my food?" He teased.

Grinning, I held up my hand, motioning just a little. "Un poquito de pollo?" I asked, mouth salivating at the chicken. Everyone was a mix of laughing or grinning 

I didn't have a chance to keep playing along with the man because I saw Carl was coming back with Lori. Frowning, I leaned into T-Dogs arm, not in a rush to apologize to Carl. He just chuckled, "Oh no, Rick said you're gonna say sorry for saying mean things and Carl for being mean to you. So don't think you're going to hide behind me."

I just went under his arm instead, unbalancing the man and his plate. "Whoa!"

"Cielo, come here." I heard Rick from the other side of T-Dog's arm. He lifted his arm, exposing me to the glare from Carl, Lori holding the boy in place.

Sighing, I walked over, Terry safely in my arms from the boy. Rick's hands held my shoulders in the same fashion as Lori, to keep me in place. "Now, Cielo, say sorry to Carl. Now you know that waving a gun at you is not the same as trying to shoot you." I looked at him, brow raised. "Even though you and your Mami were. Carl isn't those bad men." He clarified more.

"Sorry for getting you in trouble by saying you were going to shoot me." I apologized. Though the glare he was throwing at me probably reflected how I felt about apologizing to begin with.

"And?" Rick pressed. 

"For also calling you a baboso." I amended half-heartedly. Not sorry about that.

"And?" He pressed again, I looked up at him. Rick just looked down at me, waiting patiently.

I glared over at Carl, "And for telling you to shut up."

"Try again with a little less attitude." I heard Carol say by the big pot. I looked over in disbelief. She just crossed her arms and smiled at me. "Go on," she pushed, eyes twinkling, "less attitude."

I rolled my eyes, closed them, and let out a deep breath. Something tells me I'll be yelling at him to shut up often. And apologizing for it often. I opened them again, "I'm sorry for telling you to shut up..."

I felt the stare Rick was giving me start to shift off of me and probably to Carl. "Your turn, Carl."

He gaped in disbelief, "Why do I-?"

"Because it sounded like you were mean to her, too." Lori cut him off. 

He glared at me. "I'm sorry you're such a baby." 

"Carl!" Lori shouted at him, but he got out from her grip and ran off. I glared at his back and shouted, "Baboso!!" 

"Cielo, we-" Rick started.

"And Mami also told me that if people were really sorry, they wouldn't do the same thing to hurt you again, so to not feel sorry for them or yourself if they do!" I clung onto Terry, walking towards the house. Maybe they will give me a plate of chicken without too much hassle.

* * *

In the morning, I woke up earlier than Beth did and quietly opened the door, squeezing out the room. I closed the door behind me and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. Patricia has this weird thing about making me take a shower at night, right before bed, so no point in taking two showers in one day. I quickly looked in the mirror to see that my hair dried a little crazy. Maybe Lori can put them in buns again?

I sighed, pulling on a curl in front of my face before it bounced back. At least the kids from daycare can’t make fun of my hair. Then I wouldn’t have to hide it from Mami-

Looking at the sink, I saw the hair ties from last night still here and grabbed them for later. The heavy feeling in my chest was back. I rubbed it hard, trying to see if that will help make it hurt less. A whimper escaped and I stopped trying to rub my chest because it wasn’t working but making me breathe harder, feeling like I was going to cry again. Maybe if I go see Mami, it might hurt less? I left the bathroom and tiptoed down the hall and stairs, making as little noise as possible, successfully making it to the front door.

“Where are you going, little lady?” I jumped, turning around to see a smiling Herschel. 

I bit my lip and pushed some of the hair that dried the wrong away from my face, “Outside.” 

He didn’t react to me suddenly talking, acting as if I was the whole time. “It’s five in the morning, sweetheart. The sun is still not up.”

“Yes, it is,” I argued. There was plenty of light coming in the windows! It’s all I need to see.

He gave me a stern look that Rick and Daryl were giving me yesterday. “What do you need to do so bad at five in the morning?”

“I want to ask Daryl something…” I replied, blinking up at him.

He chuckled, leaning against the doorway of the kitchen. “Daryl might be sleeping. What you want to ask him can wait.”

I shook my head, “No, I have to do it now when it’s quiet. If I wait for everyone to be awake, it won’t be quiet anymore!”

He frowned. “What won’t be quiet?”

I went to clutch Terry to me but realized my hand was empty, and instead pulled on my shirt. “I promise I’ll be back, Terry is upstairs with Beth!” I bargained. 

“Terry?” He asked, confused. 

“He is my Triceratops!” I grinned. “Beth has him, so I’ll be back! Don’t let Carl touch him!”

I didn’t wait for him to remember the other question and ran out of the door. George says he does a thing called diversions so his parents forget what they ask him. I always told him he was bad at them cause Aunt Liza was a lawyer and she always figured him out. Turns out I’m better than him in diversions.

I ran past the camp that was full of people last night, now empty, and towards Daryl’s, just in case Herschel was looking. When I looked behind me, I saw that there were no windows Herschel could see me from and started running towards Mami. Since I’m not leaving, I can see Mami again. 

I looked at the ground carefully, realizing that I’m running around without shoes or socks, and I didn’t want to step in another pile of cow poop. I almost slipped when I dodged a cow pie.Glancing up, I saw Mami where she was last time. I started to slow down when I got closer, watching how Mami looked laying down in the grass. Walking closer to her, I finally realized how bad Mami was stinking. Looking at her face, it looked rounder than when I saw her last time, the arrow was gone from her head. Guess Daryl came back for it. 

She looked greener than the last time I saw her, too. Then I realized her whole body looked rounder than when Daryl stopped her. Is that what happens when you stop being a monster? You get chubbier and turn colors?

I sat down next to Mami, holding her hand, which felt slimy like when I took the necklace. “Mami,” I started but stopped because I felt something getting stuck in my throat. “Ma-” my eyes were tearing up and everything felt like it was hurting. I quickly rubbed my eyes with the hand not holding hers. I sniffed, whimpering, “I’m sorry Mami!”

The tears were falling down my face now but that’s okay. It’s just me and Mami. 

“I just want to tell you that I’m okay. I got Terry with me.” I paused, looking at her hands that didn’t look like claws anymore, sniffling.

“Someone nice found me, not mean people.” I quickly thought up. “They were looking for a little girl, her name is Sophia, and they found me instead.”

I listened to the breeze pass by, listening for other monsters just in case, looking at the hair that was moving with it. “There is a lady, her name is Lori, she is the only person who could do the panda ears like you! When she wakes up later, maybe she can put the panda ears back. I kinda wish I listened and didn’t cut my hair so short when you told me to keep it long. Look at my hair, it’s everywhere!”

I sniffled again, wanting the pain to go away, trying to laugh with Mami, but she can’t laugh anymore. She won’t put them in panda ears either. “The kids at the daycare would have made fun of my hair too if they saw it.” I mumbled to her. I held her hand tighter, ignoring the icky slime, reaching over to brush away her hair that the wind pushed into her face.

“Your hair is going to get knotty out here.” I warned her, tucking her hair behind her ear. “You have the brush in your bag back at the house, so I can’t help brush it out.”

“Well, I guess that means we can both have crazy hair together like before, right Mami?” I grinned, ignoring the blurry vision with a sudden thought we won’t have any more of those mornings. 

“Cielo?”

Gasping, I turned around to see Glenn, who looked really pale. He quickly jogged over, pulling my whole body away from Mami. “No!”

He looked down at me, holding me away from her. “What are you doing?”

I glared up at him, tears falling faster, trying to get back to Mami. “Mami can’t hurt me! She isn’t a monster anymore!”

Glenn looked shocked, head snapping over to Mami. “That’s your mom?”

“Let me go! I didn’t finish talking with Mami!”

Glenn didn’t let go and I looked up at him, not caring if I looked like a baby crying all over the place, “Let me talk to Mami,” I begged him. “I didn’t say everything I wanna tell Mami, please, quiero hablar con Mami!” 

He just picked me up, holding me close to him, shushing me as I cried on his shoulder. I tried pushing him away but he didn’t let me, holding my head in his shoulder. Eventually, I gave up trying to push him away because Glenn was a grown-up and he was stronger than me. I just started crying harder into his shoulder, trying to breathe in, but my throat kept closing every time I breathed in.

Glenn pulled me off his shoulder a little and looking behind him, I saw a concerned Maggie and Herschel. I rubbed my eyes, gasping for air, but it made me cry harder. “Jesus, what set the kid off?” I heard Shane bark behind me.

“I-” I hiccupped, “want-” hiccup “Mami!”

I don’t care if I screamed in Glenn’s ear. I want to go back to Mami. 

“She’s starting to hyperventilate. We need to calm her down before she passes out.” Herschel advised.

No, I want Mami!

A shriek left my lips, trying to wiggle out of Glenn’s arms, trying to get back to Mami. Glenn held on tighter, looking terrified. I felt him loosen his hold on me but I felt another set of hands grab onto me. “I want Mami!” I shouted, before feeling like I needed to cough, everything was getting tighter.

“Cielo, sweetheart, look at me.” Rick’s voice was in my ear. I shook my head, nothing looking right with the number of tears swimming in my eyes. I tried squirming out of his arms too, trying to push myself up using his leg. 

“I found her sitting next to a dead walker!” Glenn shouted over me, so the others could hear me. “She says that was her mom!”

“For fucks sake!” Shane shouted. “Well, we need to get her to shut up before all the other walkers hear her!”

“She is a child, Shane!” Lori’s voice yelled back at him.

Another pair of arms grabbed me from Rick. “Alright, you need to stop crying!” Shane’s voice growled in my ear, his fingers squishing my cheeks together as he forced me to look at him. 

“That is not how you treat a child!” Herschel shouted at Shane.

“No!” I shrieked, trying to get away from Shane. I pulled my head away, kicking him hard to let me go. “Mami! Mami!”

“Ya hurtin’ her!” Daryl’s voice yelled at Shane. “Give ‘er here!”

I felt Shane trying to hold on tighter to me as Daryl tried to get me from him. “Let go of ‘er!”

“Shane, let go, she’s turning blue!” Andrea’s panicked voice joined in the fray.

Eventually, Shane must have given up because I felt I was tossed into Daryl’s arms. He bounced me up and down once I was, rubbing my back, “ ‘Ey, come on now. Take it easy, I’ll get ya to ya Mami, but ya gotta relax.”

I was still breathing hard but I looked at Daryl, who was looking back at me nervously. “Breath slow. None of tha’ heavy breathin’ ya doin’. I ain’ takin’ ya ta ya Mami like a drowned rat.”

I tried breathing in slowly like Mami taught me, but a sharp gasp kept stopping me. I just looked at Daryl’s eyes, blinking out the tears, noticing they looked like the same blue Terry was before he got washed. “Atta girl, nice ‘n slow.”

“Mami?” I managed to say the word between two shuddering gasps of air. He kept rubbing my back, no longer bouncing me around like a baby. He nodded, “That’s right, we’ll go to yer Mami in a bit.”

“Daryl, not sure if you were here for this bit, but the girl's mom is a walker. She was sitting next to her Mama’s corpse!” Shane spat.

“Shane, enough!” Rick shouted at the man. 

I looked over where Rick was shouting to see everyone was outside. Lori and Carol were crying, Lori holding onto a horrified Carl, and Maggie looked close to it. Herschel was standing next to Rick, sending daggers Shane’s way, and Dale looked to be close to tearing up himself behind Rick. T-Dog and Andrea looked worried but Glenn was squatting down running a hand through his hair, hat in his other hand. 

“Ya want Terry?” I heard a breathless voice next to me and Daryl, a shuddering breath entering my lungs as I looked to see Beth, waving Terry at me. I nodded my head, snatching him out of her grip and quickly clutching Terry close to me, leaning my head into Daryl’s shoulder. He stopped rubbing me back, just holding me up in his arms. I sniffled, a sharp gasp of air shaking my body, on and off. 

“Jesus,” Maggie breathed out. “That was…”

“Poor thing. She must be emotionally stressed. Between losing her mother and being out there on her own till you two found her for who knows how long, everything probably just caught up with her now.” Herschel deduced on his own.

I sniffled into Terry, top of my head pressed against Daryl’s jaw. I kept taking deep breaths until Daryl decided we could go back to Mami. I heard everyone start to disperse into their morning routine since I must have woken everyone up earlier than usual. I stayed where I was, blinking slowly, feeling my eyes feel heavy as I heard Daryl’s heart beating really fast. The whooshing sounds almost like the seashells made. I let out a deep breath, closing my eyes for a little bit. They were too heavy to keep opening now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, to add a bit of context to the Spanish, Cielo basically told Carl he didn't look like a slug, but he is. That is the literal translation, however growing up, I always figured it was saying you look like a dummy. No one told me anything because I was an angel as a kid.
> 
> The second thing she goes off at Carl how she is already six and isn't a baby anymore, so to shut up cause he never has nice things to say.


	6. Sophia

Groaning, I rubbed my face into the pillow, eyes feeling like cotton balls. Opening my eyes, I saw I was in Beth’s bed instead of her, the ugly pink walls surrounding me. I sat up, bed squeaking as I shuffled myself closer to the edge of the bed, wondering why I felt so tired. My bare feet planted themselves on the floor with a thud. Still confused, I grabbed Terry and went looking for someone. It wasn’t normal for them to let me sleep all day. 

I held onto the railing, slowly going down the stairs, turning towards the kitchen as I reached the final landing. Standing there, chopping up some vegetables was Patricia. “Ms. Patricia,” my voice croaked. I hissed, rubbing my neck, trying to remember why it was hurting inside. 

Patricia turned around surprised, “Oh, honey! How are you feeling?”

I pointed at my throat as she got closer, croaking out, “Hurts.” 

She frowned, running a hand over my hair, “Let me scramble up some eggs. Maybe mash up some peaches for you.”

I nodded, going over to the kitchen table, body too sore. I put Terry on the table in front of me, trying to remember why everything hurts. I think I woke up this morning when everyone was still asleep. I’m not really sure of anything after that. Some footsteps thudding against the floor, sounding like Herschel, who had unhurried even steps. Glancing up, I was right to see Herschel be the one coming into the room. One glance at me and he smiled. 

“How is the little lady doing?” He asked.

“Poor thing’s throat hurts.” Patricia answered for me. She turned away from the stove to grab a plate, serving it up with food. 

“That so?” Herschel walked over, taking a seat next to me. “Let me see, say ah.”

I followed his directions, letting him take a look, but a pitiful croak was all that left my throat. He just hummed and tapped my chin shut. “Everything is a bit angry from all that screaming and shouting you did this morning.”

My eyes widened, “Mami!” The word escaped like a hoarse whisper. Remembering how I was talking to her before Glenn found me. Grabbing, Terry, I was ready to go.

Herschel must have seen something in me as he quickly added, “Glenn went back so we can bury your Mami.”

I stopped, staying in my seat, “Here?” I asked, wincing immediately afterward.

A sad smile crossed his face, “Yeah, we’re burying her next to Otis. After we both finish eating, we’ll go outside, okay? Try not to talk too much.”

I nodded and sat right in the seat again, looking at Terry, poking at the string where he was still missing an eye. The kitchen was silent until Herschel broke it, “Terry always missing an eye?”

I nodded, sitting up digging into my front pocket until I realized I put his eye in my backpack. I didn’t want to lose it after all the baths. He must have seen my frown because he chuckled a bit. “Wrong pants pocket?” he asked.

I nodded. Smiling, he patted my knee, “Come on, let’s sit in the dining room.”

I jumped down, following him to the dining room where he took a seat at the head of the table. I sat down in one of the chairs close to him as he reached for a bible. One white eyebrow was raised my way, “You know what this is?”

Again, I nodded. How could I not recognize the book Abuela read every night, praying with her rosary beads. I held up a hand, leaving Terry on the table, and ran towards the stairs to my backpacks hiding place. I slowly opened Maggie’s room and closed the door behind me, just in case someone was coming up. I went under her bed, pulling the dinosaur bone backpack towards me. I opened up the side pouch, pulling out Abuela’s rosary beads that Mami took before we left home. 

After a quick check to see that everything was still in my bag like I left it, I grabbed the last granola bar, putting it in my back pocket, stuffing my bag under the bed. I opened the door to the hallway and carefully closed the door behind me, going down the stairs quickly with rosary beads in hand. Getting back to the dining room, I saw two plates of food on the table, Herschel reading his bible. I ran up to my chair, pulling myself up with the table, and showed Herschel Abuela’s beads. 

Gently, he took the beads from my hand, taking a close look at the wooden rosary in front of him. I took a spoon and shoveled some peaches onto it. “Abuela’s”... I croaked to him, quickly eating the peaches to soothe my throat. He gave them back with a smile. “Keep it safe.”

I nodded, taking a spoonful of the scrambled eggs this time, hearing boots thudding against the floor. I turned around, waiting to see who would walk by, but Herschel grabbed the bible instead. Second later, Rick came around the wall, taking a quick look around the room. He first zeroed on me, smiling as he walked over, brushing a hand over my head, pushing my hair out the way. “How are you feeling, Cielo?” Rick asked.

I pointed to my throat but Herschel answered for me. “Screamed herself raw. Told her to talk when she really needs to.”

Rick seemed to flinch at that before looking over to Herschel. “A little light reading for lunch?”

Herschel didn’t look up at Rick when he answered. “Been working so hard lately, I get my studying where I can.”

Rick shuffled a bit to the side. “You know we can help you out with your work.”

“It's my field to tend.” Was the sharp reply. I looked back and forth at both men, wondering what was going on. Rick was nice. Why was Herschel being mean to Rick? If it was Shane, I would understand a whole lot better. It was silent for a little bit before Rick said something else.

“We found the barn.”

Herschel put down the bible and looked up at Rick. “Leave it be.”

This isn’t looking good. I just quietly ate my food, knowing this was grown-up stuff, and that grown-ups won’t listen to anything or anyone else but another grown up. Sometimes they say things if they forget you are even there. Like the barn. Herschel doesn’t want them looking or touching the barn. I looked back and forth at both men, seeing Maggie in the room too. She must have come in around the same time as Rick.

“Well, I'd like to talk about it, but either way, your barn, your farm, your say.” Rick’s eyes were focused on Herschel. Herschel breathed in deeply before answering Rick.

“I don't want to talk about the barn. I don't want to debate.” he spoke with finality, turning back to his food.

“Not a debate, a discussion.” Rick shook his head.

“I need you and your group gone by the end of the week.” Herschel didn’t look at the man, simply took a bite of the meat Patricia cooked for him. My eyes widened. He was getting rid of Rick? “Cielo can stay. Rest of you, gone.”

“I talked to Dale.” Rick continued like Herschel didn’t say that they needed to leave. “You and I have our differences with the way we look at the walkers. Those people…” Rick took a moment before continuing again. “They may be dead, they may be alive. But my people, us, we are alive right now, right here, right in front of you. You send us out there, and that could change.”

“I've given you safe harbor. My conscience is clear.” Herschel simply replied, putting down his fork and knife on the table.

Rick kept ignoring the clear signs that Herschel didn’t want to talk anymore. “This farm is special. You've been shielded from what's been going on out there. Dale said you saw everything happen on the news. Well, it's been a long time since the cameras stopped rolling.” Rick paced a little bit in the spot he was standing before continuing on.

“The first time I saw a walker, it was just half a body snapping at me from the ground. My inclination wasn't to kill it.” He shook his head, looking at the ground, as if remembering what he was talking about. “But what the world is out there isn't what you saw on TV. It is much, much worse and it changes you. Either into one of them or something a lot less than the person you were. Please do not send us out there again.”

I nodded, knowing that none of the adults were paying attention to me anymore, but it was true. The monsters were everywhere and people were stealing other people’s stuff and food. Mami said to not let my bag out of sight, which is a big rule I’m breaking here, but there is lots of food here. No one is thinking about trying to get my food out of my backpack. Except maybe Shane, he tried.

“My wife's pregnant.” Rick threw out. My eyes widened and I looked at Rick, who was looking desperate at Herschel. Lori is having a baby?!

“That's either a gift here or a death sentence out there. If we were to stay we could help you

with the work, with securing this place. We can survive together.”

“Rick, I'm telling you we can't.” Herschel sighed, tired of listening to the man plead his case.

“You think about what you're doing.” Rick pressed, backing away slowly from the room.

“I've thought about it.”

“Think about it.”

“I've thought about it.”

“Think about it again. We can't go out there.” Rick said one more time before leaving the room completely. 

I looked to see both Herschel and Maggie looking at one another, before Maggie looked over at me, “Cielo, honey, why don’t you take your plate into the kitchen and see if Patricia needs help.”

I nodded, doing exactly that, tucking Terry under my arm so I could carry the plate and spoon safely back to the kitchen. Kind of surprised that they let me stay in the dining room the whole time for that conversation, not pushing my luck now. Going into the kitchen, there was no Patricia in sight. Not worried, I just put the plate and spoon in the sink, tiptoeing up so it won’t break once I let go. 

I heard Maggie’s voice go up a bit in the dining room and decided it was probably a good idea to go out the back. Quietly doing so, I looked around to see if Patricia was anywhere to be seen. Deciding it is what it is, I went to see what the others were up to, especially if Herschel was going to send them away.

Second I left the porch, I immediately saw Carol and Daryl by the stables, Daryl yelling at Carol. I frowned. Carol says Daryl is a nice guy and nice guys don’t just yell at people. Eventually, Daryl yelled something else before stalking off, leaving behind Carol at the stables. Deciding to leave Daryl alone, I walked over to Carol who seemed to be frozen in her spot, staring after the angry man. When I was close enough, Carol saw me and I looked back at her, wondering if she was okay.

“Hey, sweetie,” Carol crossed her arms, coming over with a forced smile on her face. “What are you up to?”

I shrugged and she gave me a condescending look. “Are you back to not talking again?”

I shook my head and opened my mouth, pointing at it and rubbed my throat, so she knows I’m not doing it on purpose. The look disappeared and turned into a sad one. “Hurts, huh?”

I nodded as she looked at me, trying to figure out what to say. I didn’t want to talk because my throat hurt, but mouthed to her ‘Mami’. Herschel said she was being buried next to Otis. She reached a hand out so I could grab onto hers. “Let’s go see T-Dog, maybe he might know something.”

I quickly clasped my hand in hers, letting her lead me towards their camp. Immediately, I saw T-Dog was cleaning one of the rifles that they had when scouting on top of the RV. A quick glance at the RV showed Andrea still on duty. T-Dog was mumbling things under his breath, trying to clean a piece that he had in his hand. Carol cleared her throat, getting T-Dog’s attention from the piece on his hand to us. “Look who's up and at ‘em!” T-Dog grinned at me.

I smiled back, looking quickly at Carol, shaking her arm letting her know to ask him. She smiled down at me before looking over at T-Dog. “She has a sore throat so she can’t talk right now, but she’s wondering if you know where her Mami is.”

The way Carol said it was weird and I narrowed my eyes up at her. 

She didn’t look at me but kept her gaze strictly on him. “Oh, oh!” T-Dog exclaimed, and I already knew it was going to be lies. I turned my dead paned look over at him, hoping he would get the message. He looked back at me but his smile waned a bit. 

“No lies.” I pitifully croaked out, but kept my gaze even, ignoring the burn in my throat. 

He winced hearing me and then looked back at Carol, who must have shown something on her face before he turned back to me. T-Dog sighed, putting down the rifle on the table next to him, before looking over at him. 

I pointed to myself, pulling my other hand out of Carol’s to motion something tiny, and then tapped my head, shaking my head no. 

“No, you ain’t dumb.” T-Dog agreed. Sighing, he motioned me to come over and I did. He didn’t say anything for a bit and I looked over my shoulder to see Carol was still there, taking a seat not far. 

“Look at that nappy hair…” He said. Wide eyed, my head swung over to him with a glare. It wasn’t nappy! It was just messy because I went to bed with wet hair. He chuckled at my glare. “Not my fault you didn’t take care of your hair after washing it.”

I stuck my tongue out at him, realizing he was teasing me, but I still didn’t like it. The kids made fun of my hair all the time when it was long, and it was worse when I had it cut short. He tapped my cheek, “Alright, hand over them hair ties. Let me see what I can do.”

Grinning, I slid the hair ties on my wrist over to him and stood between his legs, turning around to see Carol smiling over at us. I felt big hands tug at my hair, gently pulling at some of my hair that must have gotten stuck together. “This is why I shaved my head bald. Didn’t want to deal with the daily hassle of looking fresh n’ fine for the ladies.”

I giggled at the image of him posing with a grin, winking over at pretty ladies, head shining brightly. “She’s so cute with those curls.” Carol muttered quietly from her spot. Two hands turned me around, letting the man scrutinize his work, before nodding. I put Terry down and reached up, feeling two ponytails on the side of my head. Not the panda ears but I’m not expecting T-Dog to twist my hair the way I like them to look.

“Kid, where are your shoes?” T-Dog asked.

I pointed over to the house, picking up Terry. “Go put them on, you never know if we need to start running in case walkers come this way.”

I tilted my head at him, confused what a walker was. I think Glenn used it this morning but I’m not sure. He made a growl, “The zombies. We call them walkers.”

A silent ‘Oh’ formed on my lips before looking back at the house. I didn’t want to go back in case Maggie and Herschel were still yelling. I looked back at T-Dog and motioned later and then two fists up. His eyebrows furrowed together, “There is a fight in the house?”

I tapped my lips and then the two fists again. Seeming to understand, he asked to be sure. “Someone is arguing with somebody?”

I nodded and he glanced over at the house before looking back at me. “We’ll get your shoes in a bit. No excuses, missy.”

Nodding again, I looked at the rifle he was cleaning up. “Cielo,” Carol’s voice chimed over my shoulder. I looked at her, seeing her hunched over in her seat. “How long were you by yourself?”

I frowned, trying to remember exactly how long. There were the three days I waited in the house for Mami to come back. Then another five days before Rick and Daryl found me and saved me from the monster. I held up eight fingers at her. She smiled softly at my answer. “Aren’t you a brave girl.”

I looked closely at Carol, seeing that she was upset about something. Maybe about Sophia? How long has it been since she was gone? I looked up at T-Dog, mouthing to him ‘Sophia’, hoping he knows what I’m trying to ask. T-Dog grimaced a bit, “Sophia’s been missing for five days. If you did well for eight days, so can Sophia, right?”

I looked at him carefully as he went back to cleaning the rifle. Sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself she is. I looked over at Carol and pointed at my feet, running off towards the house, before she said if it was okay or not. I ran back into the house, immediately going up the stairs to Beth’s room. I saw the teenager glance over at me, sitting on her bed reading a book. I pointed at my feet, hoping she would understand what I meant. “Your shoes?”

I nodded, waiting for her to tell me where it was. “Patricia put them next to the front door. Didn’t you see it on your way in?” she asked. 

Bashful, I shook my head no and slowly backed out of the room, grabbing the door to close it, and down the stairs again. Staring back at me, right next to the door to not trip an innocent bystander, were the white sneakers. I sat on the floor, putting on my shoes, but took my time trying to tie them together. I’m still fifty fifty on tying them well enough that they don’t slide back open or completely knot them. 

Giving them a once over, I figured that they were tied well enough. T-Dog saying that we need to be ready in case we need to run was a good point. Immediately, a light bulb went off in my head. The can opener!

I jumped up and ran towards the kitchen, wondering if they even had a can opener, because I only ever saw them use everything grown on the farm. I opened the cabinets in the kitchen quietly, not making any loud noises in case someone asked me what I was doing, and I know they aren’t going to let me run off with a can opener just because I want one.

After opening three drawers, I found the can opener in the largest drawer the kitchen had. I looked around, trying to make it look like everything in the kitchen was in the right place, I slowly went up the stairs, avoiding the fifth step that liked to squeak really loud. I kept an eye on Beth’s door before heading over to Maggie’s, doing the same thing as before and quickly opened the dinosaur backpack. I moved some of the cans and boxed food around, stuffing the can opener between a shirt and pants.

Mami showed me how to pack the backpack carefully so the cans won’t make noise when we have to run. Cause there is no point in trying to be quiet if the bags you had were just going to make noise. Either way, I now have solved the dilemma of the cans without the thingies on them to make it easy to open. The can opener.

Pleased, I stuffed everything back under Maggie’s bed and made a beeline to go back outside. I skipped down the stairs, carefully walking over the fifth step, before continuing to the door. Opening the front door, I was surprised to see so many people on the porch. “Can you stop?” Maggie’s voice was strong, stepping towards someone.

“You do this, you hand out these guns, my dad will make you leave tonight.” she continued. A hand pushed on my back gently and I looked up to see Lori, looking confused as we both exited the house.

“We have to stay, Shane.” Carl’s voice echoed somewhere in front of me, but Lori seemed to have spotted him before I did.

“What is this?” she asked in disbelief, trying to come to terms with what she is seeing.

“We ain't going anywhere, okay?” Shane’s voice was erratic, ignoring Lori’s question completely. 

“Now look, Hershel, he's just gonna understand. Okay?” He told Carl, and more than likely the others while doing so. I couldn’t see him past all the other bodies but he sounded like a crazy person. “Well, he's gonna have to. Now we need to find Sophia. Am I right?” Shane continued and I heard something rustling but even trying to look around Lori’s legs I couldn’t see anything because Carl’s big head and the hat were in the way.

“Now I want you to take this. You take it, Carl, and you keep your mother safe.” The frantic energy coming off the man. “You do whatever it takes. You know how. Go on, take the gun and do it.”

“Rick said no guns. This is not your call. This is not your decision to make!” Dale shouted at Shane.

“Oh, shit!” T-Dog’s unmistakable voice chimed in. 

“What is that?” The frantic tone Shane had turned very calm suddenly, the calm before the storm.

“What is that?” He roared, footsteps thudding on the ground. I looked over in the direction that the noise was headed toward to see Herschel, Rick, and Jimmy. Except, Rick and Herschel had poles with monsters on them. Why were they bringing the monsters here? I went to latch onto a hand or shirt but everyone seemed to have taken off after Shane.

“Shane!” Lori screamed, chasing after the angry man who was getting close to the monsters. Nervous to be by myself, I followed everyone else, in case there were monsters that would pop up behind me again.

“What the hell are you doing?” Shane asked Herschel. I was too far away to hear Herschel or Rick but Shane had no problem shouting so everyone could hear him. “Are you kidding me? You see?” He screamed, looking back at the group who caught up with him, pointing at the two men and the monsters.

“You see what they're holding onto?” At that point, I was close enough to the whole group, and quickly grabbed onto whoever was closer to me. I looked up to see surprised blue ones look down at me before turning his attention back to Shane.

“I see who I'm holding onto.” Herschel proudly exclaimed to Shane.

“No, man, you don't.” Shane shook his head, pacing back and forth, waving the gun. I tugged on Daryl’s shirt to get his attention. He looked down and I made my hands to imitate the gun in Shane’s hand. Daryl just showed me his, misunderstanding what I meant. I shook my head. “He's waving the gun. He’s gonna start shooting,” I croaked out as the men kept arguing. Daryl went to say something but it was hard when it came to Shane.

“Hey, Hershel, man, let me ask you something.” Shane sniffed, before quickly getting his feet stabilized. “Could a living breathing person, could they walk away from this?”

Three loud bangs echoed throughout the farm. Jumping, I grasped onto Daryl’s leg, who’s head snapped back to the situation that was happening before him. 

“No!” Rick shouted, fighting with the monster at the end of the pole he was holding. “Stop it!”

Shane ignored him and kept going, the gun still pointed at the monster Herschel was holding on the other end of the pole. “That's three rounds in the chest. Could someone who's alive,

could they just take that?”

Another few bangs from the gun exploded into the air.

“Why is it still coming? That's its heart, its lungs. Why is it still coming?” He yelled at Herschel, who was close to falling apart at the other end of the pole.

“Shane, enough.” Rick's voice was authoritative, making it clear that enough was enough.

“Yeah, you're right, man. That is enough.” With that, Shane shot the monster in the head, it dropped quickly, Herschel right along with it. He fell as if the monster was what kept him standing up. Letting go of Daryl, I quickly ran over to Herschel, Maggie and Beth doing the same. Maggie got to him first, holding onto his shoulders, whispering to get his attention.

“Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone!” Shane’s entire body shook with the statement as he paced back and forth, then quickly gestured to the barn behind him. “Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us.”

“Enough!” Rick shouted next to us, the monster he was holding still alive, reaching over for him.

“Rick, it ain't like it was before! Now if y'all want to live, if you want to survive, you got to fight for it!” With that said, he turned around and started to break open the lock holding the barn closed. The pickaxe that was laying innocently against the barn suddenly became a tool of destruction. “I'm talking about fighting right here, right now.”

Rick turned to look at the defeated man next to him. “Take the snare pole. Hershel, take the snare pole.” Rick begged, looking back at Shane who was making an effort to break down the lock, no one stopping him. “Hershel, listen to me, man, please. Take it now. Hershel! Take it!”

Seeing he wasn’t getting anywhere with the older man, Rick turned his attention back to the man that was his friend. “No, Shane. Do not do this, brother. Please! Don't do it!”

Shane kept ignoring Rick, too invested in what was in the barn to care for the man behind him now that the doors were wide open. “Come on. Come on, we're out here!”

“This is not the way! Please!” Rick begged. Beth grabbed me, pulling me into her arms, trying to shield me from what is going on. I heard another bang before the sound of a body dropped next to us, realizing someone shot the monster Rick was holding onto. The sound of growling and moans started to echo behind me, and I struggled against Beth, turning around to see a lot of them getting out of the barn. 

“Maggie.” Glenn was in front of us, looking at Maggie, holding onto the gun that Shane had given him earlier.

She nodded at him. “It's okay.”

After she gave Glenn the okay, the whole place thundered with various sounds of a gun blasting into the monsters in front of me. I don’t know how long it lasted. All I saw were monsters falling, left, and right. Eventually, the last gunshot rang out into the air, nothing but silence echoing in the field. It didn’t last forever as there was another groan coming from inside the barn. I waited nervously, clutching tighter to Terry as the last figure came into view. Shane backed away from the barn, doing the opposite of all the other monsters from before when I saw it was a girl.

“Sophia? Sophia!” Carol’s voice echoed after the monster's appearance. I looked over at her to see her crying, Daryl was the one holding her back, trying to talk in her ear. But Carol wasn’t listening. She was fighting against Daryl, trying to reach the little girl. When she realized she couldn't she just sobbed in Daryl’s arms, crying out, “Sophia. Sophia. Oh, no…”

Rick walked up solemnly to the girl, Sophia, and raised his gun. 


	7. Ya'll Mad?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the cuteness because Cute Baby Cielo won't be forever...  
> And I'll be going back to work after quarantining for 2 weeks for the whole COVID19 so I definitely won't update one chapter a day after today...  
> I do have 22 written so far but I'm thinking of pausing to reread and edit around before posting.

Rick, Daryl, and Shane were working hard digging up graves for the people who used to be monsters. Like promised, Mami is there with Herschel’s two family members and Sophia, to be buried. I think they were going to leave Mami where she was under the Georgia sun until what happened to the barn. T-Dog didn’t know where Mami was before or he knew that they weren’t going to bring Mami over here at first. I’m just happy that she is here and I can visit when I want.

Daryl hopped out of the ground and turned around to help Rick out of his. They immediately went to place the bodies in each grave, respectively. Hopping off my seat, I opened the door to the RV, ready to let Carol know that everything was going to start soon. I looked around, never having been inside the RV before, and spotted Carol sitting at a table looking out the window. I climbed into the booth she was in, gently shaking her shoulder. Turning to look at me, Carol just blinked as I waved her to follow me, and she turned her head back to the window.

The door opened again and it was Daryl this time. I looked up at him, hoping he could get her to come. The man barely spared me a glance before looking over to her. He knocked on the wall next to him, hoping to get her attention, but she didn’t move. “Come on,” Daryl said, motioning as I did before. 

“Why?” Carol asked, so quiet that if the RV wasn’t silent, no one would have heard her.

Daryl looked shocked as I was and pressed further. “ 'Cause that's your little girl.”

"That's not my little girl. It's some other... thing.” She spat out. “My Sophia was alone in the woods. All this time, I thought. She didn't cry herself to sleep. She didn't go hungry. She didn't try to find her way back. Sophia died a long time ago."

I didn’t say anything other than slide back out of the booth. Daryl looked like he wanted to say something else, angry that Carol was going to leave it at that, but I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the door. He looked down at me, ready to yell at me, but I beat him to it. “She’s hurting.” The rasped words manage to escape me.

He gave Carol another angry look before going out the door, slamming it behind him. I looked back at Carol and quickly climbed back in the booth, giving her a quick kiss to the cheek. “Mami will take care of Sophia,” I forced out. “They’re both angels now.”

With that said, I quickly followed Daryl out the RV. After saying bye to Mami, I’ll check in on Carol. I remember the last time we had gone to a funeral the rule is to make sure the family knows they are loved. I remember Mami and Titi kissing Abuela’s cheek when Abuelo became an angel and how they always checked in on her before Mami and I moved in. Me and Carol can check in on each other.

With that thought in mind, I walked over to the group of people, seeing that Herschel wasn’t out here at all. Maybe he was inside the house? I suddenly remembered that he lost two people in his family, and told myself to check in on him too. Frowning, I scanned the graves until I saw the face I was looking for. Reaching into my pocket, I took out the crushed granola bar that I had been saving for Mami. Looking around me, I saw T-Dog was closer to me than anyone else. So I went over to him and pulled on his arm, that way he could help me. He followed without complaint as I walked over to Mami’s grave and sat down, sliding in. “Whoa! Hey, what are you doing?” T-Dog shouted, getting the others attention. 

I looked up and shook the crushed granola package as some concerned faces appeared around T-Dog. Everyone’s face seemed to vary from relaxed to peeved. I looked back at Mami and put the granola package in her sweater’s pocket. “Kid,” Shane’s voice bellowed from above the grave, “chances are your Mami won’t need the granola bar. Now get up out of there.”

I glared up at the man. “Mami liked the crunchy ones, I saved this one for her!” I hissed up at him, my throat yelling at me as I did. I kept my glare on him until I felt the message was received, reaching up for T-Dog to pull me back out. The big man slowly went on his knees, not without giving a groan, and laid down to be able to grab my hands and pull me up. When he pulled me up, he must have over thought how hard to pull because I came flying at his face before he caught me in time.

“Now, listen here,” Shane started, pointing a finger down at me, ready to tell me off. I just glared up at the man, holding onto T-Dog nervously while I did so. Daryl quickly got in between Shane and me.

“Leave her alone. If she wanted to give her Mami a damn granola bar, then let her.” Daryl growled out at the man. 

T-Dog clutched onto me, likely feeling how tense my arm around his neck felt, and I loosened my grip around it a little. Rick shook his head, running a hand over his face. “Think now is a good time to start.” He stated, not wanting any arguments to continue.

* * *

I sat next to Beth, who was laid down in her bed just staring into the wall in front of her, not moving or talking to anyone. She was okay earlier until she just fell over and Herschel is nowhere to be found. I put my hand on her forehead, trying to see if she had a fever, and put another hand on mine to compare. She felt warm. A shuffle made me look over to see both Lori and Maggie coming into the room. Maggie let out a choked laugh. “Is she still running a fever?”

I nodded my head yes and moved out of the way so Maggie could sit where I was. Lori motioned for me to come over and I did, not knowing what else to do. She waited for me to hold onto her hand and I did, my arm dangling a bit above my head with how tall Lori was, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. “Let me know if you need anything, Rick and Glenn will be back with Herschel.” 

With that said, Lori and I left the room, me being gently pushed towards the stairs to go down. I didn’t fight the woman and did just that. Once I reached the bottom of the stairs, I turned around to look at the dark-haired woman, unsure of what to do. She just smiled at me, “Come on, let’s go find some paper so you can practice writing.”

I thought about it and sighed. There wasn’t anything to do and everyone was gloomy. Beth wasn’t feeling good, we just buried four people, and now Herschel went missing. Carl was still being a big-headed baboso. Daryl was pretty upset after the funeral and went to his tent. Shane was somewhere outside the house and I don’t want to be anywhere near him. I rubbed my head as I followed Lori. Lori noticed me rubbing my head. “You okay, hun?”

“ If this is what grown-ups deal with, I think I like to stay a kid for a long time,” I told Lori, my throat not hurting as bad but reminding me to cool it. Lori couldn’t help but let out a laugh. 

* * *

By the time I finished the lines of words Lori wanted me to practice a series of events followed after the other. Apparently, Carol went into the woods and came back a bit scratched up but better than she was earlier, which in a way is a good thing. The not so good thing is that Beth got worse and when Daryl didn’t want to go get Rick when Lori asked, she decided to go. What was worse is that she got really hurt and crashed a car! We don’t have hospitals anymore! People in car crashes are supposed to go to hospitals but here we are acting like Lori is completely okay!

Until Shane said that Lori was having a baby, which I didn’t think was a surprise because Rick already told Herschel she was having a baby. Did he not tell everyone else? That’s when people were deciding to make sure Lori would stop moving around and Carl was acting like his jerk to his mom now. The tiny thing I’m happy about in all this is that I can’t be called the baby of the group….

The really good news that I am extremely happy about is that the three missing men finally got home!

The weird part is that they’re currently patching up some other grown-ups leg. I say weird because he was shooting at them but they brought him here. Even I know that’s a bad idea and I'm six. I said so when I was standing in the crowded room. Dale wasn’t very happy that I said that but it’s true! That is exactly where we were at right now.

Shane pointed at me yelling at Dale, “The kid said it herself, it’s a bad idea for them to bring him back here. They should have left him where he was!”

“Like you said,” Dale countered, “she’s a child. She doesn’t know any better!”

“The kid is also smarter than she looks.” T-Dog threw out there. Heads snapped in his direction in disbelief and I felt offended. He looked around the room, surprised by the looks thrown his way. “Wha-Okay, listen,” He started, hands out looking around the room. “Has anyone asked her how she survived eight days alone?”

Everyone looked around. “Trees, she used a belt to help scramble up trees because she saw a Youtube video on how to climb trees. All because she couldn’t climb some cousin’s tree because the treehouse was out of her reach.” T-Dog lifted one hand, pinky stretched out. Everyone was quiet, in complete disbelief.

“Example number two,” he continued, unfolding a second finger. “Daryl noticed back when she wasn’t talking that she would give everyone different goo-goo eyes but never with him. ‘Cause she knew Daryl doesn’t fall for the ‘I’m a cutie pie’ routine. None of you caught on to it, hell, I didn’t until he pointed it out!” 

I gasped quietly staring over at the man who outed me. Some of the group looked over to me and I quickly composed myself, blinking back at them, completely innocent of what was being accused of me. “I’ll be damned…” Shane muttered. There went my extra cookies.

“Which brings me to number three,” unfolding a third finger.

“There's a third?” Glenn asked in disbelief.

T-Dog continued as if no one said anything. “The kid admitted to me,” he stressed the next part of his sentence, “herself that she took down some walkers with a slingshot by accident!”

Rick rubbed the bridge of his nose, “T you are telling me that a six-year old-who is barely three feet-took down walkers with a slingshot?”

Excuse you, but I am three feet and two and a half inches tall, thank very much!

“And it was an accident?” Shane continued. “Man, I’ll believe you with the tree climbing and the manipulative shit, but that’s a bit of a reach.”

I narrowed my eyes at Shane. I wasn’t manipulative. I just convinced people to do things that I wanted, like the extra cookies after dinner. Plus, the slingshot is true! It was a quiet way to get rid of the monsters, or according to them, walkers. Quiet like Daryl’s bow!

Shane snorted but looked over at Carl, “Little man, go get your slingshot.”

I felt my eyebrows shoot skyward. Wait, Carl had a slingshot this entire time? Never even hit a monst-I mean, a walker this entire time out of sheer boredom with it? I looked over at Lori, who was frowning and the lightbulb went off again. Right, moms. 

Carl came back with his slingshot and a small bag. He gave them to me, smugly looking as if I was caught in a lie. “Here ya go, just don’t hurt yourself.” He gloated.

“Oh, I won’t,” I replied, my throat feeling less angry today, batting my eyes innocently up at Carl. He scoffed as he walked back, giving me a chance to look at what was in the bag to see rubber balls. Not something that can kill a walker, but it will hurt a little.

“What?” Shane cut into my thoughts. “Scared you’ll be caught in a lie?”

I blinked up at him and tilted my head. “What happens if I miss? I don’t want to break anything in here.”

Shane scoffed, as I reached for two rubber balls. “Then don’t shoot.”

“And if I do hit something, can I keep the slingshot?” I asked, batting eyes up at Shane, putting the rubber ball into the pocket. I noticed Rick’s eyes narrowed in on me but Shane answered condescendingly, “Yeah, you keep the slingshot.”

“Deal.” I grinned, aiming at the man’s head and hitting him between the eyes. “Fuck!” he shouted, holding his face with both hands, jerking back and into Rick accidentally. Rick went to stabilize the man. I quickly put the second ball into the pocket while everyone was looking at Shane in shock and shot one into Carl’s leg. “Ow!” 

Carl glared over at me as he rubbed his leg, Lori quickly checking him to see he was mostly fine, and then turned her gaze to me. Whatever trouble I’ll be in, it was worth it. “She shot me!” Carl shouted, to anyone who was listening, and T-Dog raised his hands over his head. “Ya’ll still mad at me?”

Shane shook off the hit and glared over at me, which didn’t work too well with a red mark between his eyes. “Give me that slingshot, now.” He growled, eyes glaring darkly at me.

“No, terms of the deal was I hit something, I keep the slingshot,” I replied, putting the slingshot safely between me and Terry. “I hit two somethings.”

“Terms of the deal?” Dale asked in disbelief. I looked over at him, “Aunt Liza was a lawyer. Played Judge, Jury, and Defendant with her sometimes.”

“Judge, Jur-Am I hearing this right?” Glenn asked, trying to wrap his head around what is going on. Carol was trying to hide the grin going on behind her hand but her eyes were twinkling with amusement. Daryl was a tough read as he leaned against a wall, chewing on his thumb. I looked over by Glenn and saw Maggie look over at me, ready to say something, but I beat her to it.

“My throat hurts, can I have water?” I asked, rubbing my neck with a pout, but went off towards the kitchen. Hands and arms full of Terry, a slingshot, and the bag before anyone noticed.

“Oh, she’s good,” Andrea commented.

I didn’t get far because Herschel was coming back, letting out a deep sigh, cleaning up his arms. “I repaired his calf muscle as best I can, but he'll probably have nerve damage. Won't be on his feet for at least a week.” He leaned against a table, unaware of what happened moments ago.

“When he is,” Rick started, attending to the current issue, “we give him a canteen, take him out to the main road, send him on his way.”

Andrea looked confused as she looked at Rick. “ Isn't that the same as leaving him for the walkers?”

He shook his head. “He'll have a fighting chance...”

Shane scoffed, looking at Rick in disbelief once more. “Just gonna let him go? He knows where we are!”

Rick looked over at the man, trying to level with him. “He was blindfolded the whole way here. He's not a threat.”

Shane just rubbed his face, concentrating a bit on the angry spot. “Not a threat. How many of them were there?” He pointed outside the house. “You killed three of their men, you took one of them hostage, but they just ain't gonna come looking?”

Rick’s jaw ticked a bit but he kept his cool. “They left him for dead. No one is looking.”

“We should still post a guard.” T-Dog had his arms crossed, looking at the two men far more seriously than he was moments before. 

“He's out cold right now, will be for hours.” Herschel let them know.

“You know what? I'm gonna go get him some flowers and candy.” Shane scoffed at what he was hearing, looking at everyone else around him. “Look at this,folks--we back in fantasyland!”

Hershel stood up, aggressively turning towards Shane. “You know, we haven't even dealt with what you did at my barn yet. Let me make this perfectly clear, once and for all--this is my farm. Now I wanted you gone. Rick talked me out of it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. So do us both a favor--keep your mouth shut.”

Things were silent for a bit before Shane growled and stormed off, out of the room. Silence ensued before a sigh broke it. “We're not gonna do anything about it today. Let's just cool off..” Rick stated, but it sounded as if he was begging for the topic to be dropped overall. His eyes looked around the room before they settled back on me. I tensed up, watching carefully what Rick was thinking behind those eyes. He didn’t get far in thought as Herschel’s voice asked, “Any reason he had a red dot on his head?”

The question seemed to bring light back into the room, making me realize how heavy everything felt while everyone was arguing. Thinking quick, I pulled on Herschel’s pant leg, and used my other finger to tap on my throat, not wanting to drop the slingshot behind Terry. Herschel’s face softened from before. “Let’s get you some tea with honey, help soothe your throat a little more.”

I grinned, pulling him along with me to the kitchen, hearing Maggie mutter to someone. “Look at her batting those doe-eyes!”


	8. Pass the Motion

After the argument had over Randall, the guy Herschel patched up, Rick and Shane decided to do what was discussed exactly a week later. Shane went probably to make sure that Randall was left behind to his standards. While both men were gone, I went out of the house to play a bit more with my well-earned slingshot. I found a spot not far from the house, that I was happy to see near some peach trees, where I could put down some cans at different distances. Just cause I can shoot a slingshot doesn’t mean I know how far it can go. 

I bent down to pick up a few of the many pebbles I found lying about the farm, putting them in my pants pocket. Putting the pebble in the slingshot's pocket, I looked up, starting with the closest one. I aim and let go of the pocket, hearing the pebble clang against the metal as the can went down. I repeated it another two times before I started getting closer to where I wasn’t sure how far it went.

“Whatcha’ doin’? ” A southern twang asked behind me. I jumped in surprise but turned around to glare at the smirking man behind me. He had his bow thrown over his shoulder, likely was about to go out hunting some squirrels or whatever came into his sight. Poor guys. They were too cute. A quick memory of Mami coming back with a white bunny, explaining to me that we need to eat too.

“Trying to see how far it goes,” I replied, back to aiming at the can, hearing the grunt he had in reply. The echo of the metal being hit rang through the air. I pulled another pebble out, placing it in the pouch once more before Daryl said something again.

“Easy hittin’ a can that ain’t movin’.” He pointed out.

“Eh, George and Gabriel moved,” I replied, shooting down another can.

“Do ya tend to hit people with your slingshot?” He asked me, making me pause.

I looked up at him, blinking owlishly. “Of course not,” meeting his gaze evenly, “just meanies.”

He chuckled, “Like Shane and Carl?”

I grinned back. “Exactly!” He grinned back down at me. “I really don’t like Shane. He isn't just a meanie. He’s scary too. He was yelling at Dale once and I don’t know about what, but he didn’t look happy that I might’ve heard what they talked about.” The grin on the hunter’s face turned to a frown, just as quick.

With that said, I aimed at the next can and shot that one down as well. Looks like I can shoot a pretty good distance but now the last can was a bit too far. Like, next to the peach tree far, which is a long walk for me far to get back where I’m standing now. I attempted the shot anyway, rolling the last pebble in my pants pocket before loading it for liftoff. I aimed carefully and let it go.

The can fell over and I felt excitement shoot through me. “Yes!” I hissed out, mentally pulling my arm in with a fist. “Good shot, Bambi.” I heard Daryl say and I felt my head jerk back in shock.

“Bambi?!” I shouted at him, not happy with it at all. It’s Disney! Where did the idea of Bambi even come from?

“Maggie said sumthin’ the other day that fit. How you batted ‘em doe-eyes at Herschel sayin’ your throat hurt.” He pointed at me, pushing the finger into my cheek as I glared up at him. I opened my mouth to say something but he beat me to it. 

“ And let me warn ya now, girl.” His face looked very stern, voice more country than it was a second ago, which as a sudden change from the playful look he had earlier. “If ya even think about hittin’ me with tha slingshot, yer gonna be in for it. Am I clear?”

I knew he wasn’t kidding around but what would Daryl do? He isn’t my dad, so he can’t give me any pow-pow to my bottom. Besides, the fact that Dale, Lori, or Rick wouldn’t let him anyway. I tilted my head and thought through my options. I can’t say no because I can’t run too far, he’ll catch me. Say yes and then if I do, then he’ll bring it up that I broke my promise. His eyes narrowed on me, making me realize I was taking too long to answer. I blinked up at him, “No promises. You can be a meanie too.”

I started walking towards the peach tree, stuffing the slingshot in my back pocket, as fast as I can without making it look like I was running for it. It seemed that my answer sunk in faster than I was in running distance of the tree. “Girl, git back ‘ere!” Daryl shouted. Nope.

With that, I ran to the tree as fast as I could, hoping I could make the extra distance I needed. Thudding boots sounded behind me and a giggling scream escaped me. Once the tree was there, I jumped and wrapped my arms around it, kicking up the tree with my back feet, climbing it up to the first branch as fast as I could. Once I safely slung a leg over the tree branch, I looked down the tree to see Daryl looking up, a scowl on his face but his eyes didn’t look mad. I grinned down at him. “Want a peach?”

He scoffed, shaking his head before looking back up. “Ya always this cheeky?”

I scrunch my nose, trying to think back at the other adults I ran into and shrugged. “Maybe?”

Off in the distance, I saw a few figures running by this side of the house, and I waved. Daryl turned to look at who I was waving at. Carol was the first to stop running and looked over at what looked like Lori and Maggie. The other two women turned around, probably back into the house, while Carol was the one heading towards us. Daryl stayed at the bottom of the tree, arms crossed, pointing at me. “Yer gonna get it.”

“For what?” I grinned. “Offering you a peach?”

“Alright,” Carol’s voice chimed in, “what is it that had you screaming?”

I frowned, “I didn’t scream.” 

“Ya screamed.” Daryl threw at me. I just stuck my tongue out at him and he pointed at me again.

Carol smiled up at me, “Now that I think about it, it was a playful scream, cute little girls let out when they’re having fun. Been a while since I heard it.”

I didn’t know what to say so I left it at that. “Want a peach, Carol?”

Carol noticed Daryl’s stance at the bottom of the tree and the smile didn’t wane. “What did she do?”

I gasped, “I didn’t do anything but practice with my slingshot!”

“Bambi is a cheeky little thing.” Daryl ignored me, answering Carol, whose eyes widened at the nickname.

“Bambi?”

Oh no, this was not going to be a thing.

“Carol,” I whined, “tell Daryl to stop calling me Bambi!”

She looked up at me, squinting her eyes, “I thought of ‘squirrel' cause she can climb trees but Bambi fits her better. Flashing them big eyes at people.”

My jaw dropped as Carol took Daryl’s side. Daryl grinned up at me. “Squirrel coulda worked with how fast she climbed that tree.”

“You’re being mean.” I warned Daryl with a glare. He just pointed a finger up at me again, sternly. “Dare ya to hit me with tha slingshot.”

“Hmph,” it seems that we are a stalemate for now Daryl.

“Okay, okay,” Carol laughed, waving a hand at me. “Come on down from there.”

I looked up, “Let me get some peaches, first.” My mouth-watering at biting down on another peach.

I twisted on the branch, holding onto the tree trunk before reaching for a peach, standing on my tiptoes. I grunted as my fingers only managed to brush the bottom of the peach. “Cielo,” I heard the warning in Carol’s voice.

“I almost got it!” I responded, grabbing onto the tree trunk to climb the tree a bit higher, grabbing onto a higher tree branch. I pulled myself up, pushing off the tree trunk with my back feet, trying to wrap a leg around the new tree branch.

“Girl, get down before you hurt yourself!” Daryl shouted up at me. 

My leg slipped and I couldn’t wrap the leg around the tree branch, but I still had a good grip, and if I have to let go, the tree branch I sat on earlier was right below it. Ignoring the nervousness that was creeping in, I focused on the peaches that were right in front of me. “Cielo, forget the peaches, honey.” Carol’s voice sounded anxious.

“I see the peaches!” I looked down to tell her I was okay and froze.

I was higher from the branch I was sitting on earlier. Much higher than I thought. And it didn’t look like a safe drop to it either. My eyes went to the ground, which was much too far than I was okay with, and felt my lip tremble. Daryl was pacing at the bottom of the tree, eyes focused on where I was, looking anxious. Carol had a hand next to her cheek, which I came to learn she did when she was very nervous about something. “C-Carol,” I started but my voice was shaking too much and my throat started to close up. 

“Shit,” I heard Daryl hiss, looking around for something before looking at Carol. “Where they put the ladders?” 

She looked at him, shaking her head. “I don’t know.”

My hands were starting to hurt but I was too scared to move. If I move them, won’t my hands start to get slippery? I looked up, too scared to keep looking down, thinking. Maybe I can try pulling up again? Doing that, I start to pull myself up, arms hurting, and shaking when I try. A whimper escapes me as I try pushing through the pain, knowing that if I fall, it can be a whole lot worse. “Cielo, honey, don’t move.” Carol pleaded with me.

“My arms are hurting.” I told her, giving up on trying to pull myself up, but the pain is still there in my arms. My hands felt sweaty too.

“Cielo,” Daryl shouted up at me. “Look at me.”

I shook my head. “No, it’s scary looking down!”

“Come on, Bambi, look at me!” He tried again.

I looked down at him, seeing he had his arms held out, and I shook my head already knowing what he was going to ask. “No!”

“Let go of the tree and I’ll catch ya.” Daryl sounded strained as he said it.

“What if you miss? I’m too high!” I yelled at him, tears building up in my eyes. I’m never climbing up a tree again.

“I won’t, I promise.”

I looked at him, seeing that he was set in his words, eyes pleading with me. “You promise?” my voice wobbled, tears already falling down my face. 

His jaw ticked, “I promise.”

I nodded, trying to convince myself to let go. Closing my eyes tight, I took a deep breath, “I’m scared.”

“I know, it’s scary, but I got ya.” Daryl’s voice softly promised. Biting my lip, I let go, feeling my heart in my throat as I fell through the tree, leaves and tiny branches hitting me as I went down. Just when I thought that he broke his promise, I felt two arms quickly snatch me midair, and I quickly clung onto his neck, breaking out in tears.

“I got ya,” Daryl whispered, rubbing my back as I heard a sigh of relief next to him. He bounced me up and down, like before, rubbing my back. Shushing me as I cried into his neck and shoulder.

Wiping my tears, I pulled back looking at him, trying not to bawl on him. He looked worried at me, wiping away some tears off my face with a swipe of his big hands. I clutched onto his shirt, sniffing back any snot that was trying to get out. “I promise to never hit you with the slingshot no matter how mean you get.” I choked out, tears still leaking out of my eyes.

“Never?” He asked, the worry lessening on his face with a small grin.

I shook my head. “Never.”

“Atta girl.” he replied, looking over at Carol who quietly laughed in disbelief.

“Alright Ms.Cruz, let’s get you inside and out of trouble, huh?” Carol ran a hand over my head. I nodded and felt Daryl pass me over to Carol, who quickly grabbed onto me. I didn’t complain about being handed over like a baby as I felt safe after dangling in the air. I leaned my head into her neck as she walked us back to the house, rubbing a hand over my back like Daryl did earlier. Hearing just Carol’s feet crushing the grass, I looked over her shoulder to see if Daryl was following us to see he just looked back at us heading to the house instead.

I lost sight of him once Carol rounded the corner but Carol came to an abrupt stop. Confused, I looked over to see Lori pushing an angry Maggie inside the house as Andrea stood in front of them.

Andrea smiled at Maggie, “She'll live!”

Maggie snarled at Andrea, pointing a finger at her. “Stay away from her. From both of us. Don't you dare step foot inside this house again.”

Stay away from who? I looked at Carol to see she went pale at what she was hearing. Does she know what’s going on?

Lori sighed, “ I'm not gonna say she was right, but Beth has made her choice. She wants to live and now she knows it. And sometimes you have to cross the line.”

“Mmm,” Maggie didn’t look pleased but went inside the house, shooting one last glare at Andrea. Lori gave Andrea a look of her own before going inside, not wanting to continue any arguments on the porch. 

Carol seemed to have snapped out of it and continued towards the house as if nothing happened. Andrea noticed us and looked at my tear-stained face, “Oh no, what happened?”

Carol smiled at her, rubbing a hand up and down my arm as I hiccupped out a shuddering gasp. “Oh, she had a scare climbing too high up the tree. Daryl got her down. Just taking her inside. She’s had enough excitement for the day.”

Andrea smiled, brushing her knuckles against my cheek, “Poor baby.” She looked at my arms, my face turning red at being called a baby. “No Terry?”

“I left Terry with Beth,” I managed through another hiccupping gasp. “Make her feel better.”

She smiled sadly, “That’s sweet of you, hun.”

“Let me get Bambi here settled,” Carol told Andrea, a smile pulling on her face.

“No,” I whined as Andrea asked Carol, “Bambi?”

Carol smirked over at Andrea, “Daryl started calling her Bambi. I think it fits with those big eyes of hers.”

“I don’t like you right now,” I told Carol, pouting as she spread the dumb name around. Andrea let out a laugh. She crossed her arms, grinning at me. “Going to put in a motion, Bambi?”

“Yes,” I hissed. “And I’ll ask Rick for a decree since he is the closest to a court around here ‘cause he’s a sheriff.”

Andrea grinned, “But Rick can also bring a civil action against you for shooting Carl.”

I sniffed, narrowing my eyes. “Allegedly. Did you see me hit Carl with the slingshot?”

Her grin didn’t wane. “No, I-”

“Then it’ll become a demurrer.” I took my time pronouncing the last word, trying to remember if I used the word correctly in a sentence, pulling gently on the back of Carol’s shirt tag.

Andrea let out a small laugh, raising her hands, “You win. Insufficient evidence with an insufficient claim.”

“Someone would have made an excellent lawyer.” Carol gently pinched my cheek, which I did not approve of. She looked back at Andrea, “Let me take her inside and see how she can help out.”

Andrea nodded, crossing her arms as we passed her to get inside the house. Carol headed towards the kitchen, where Lori was hunched over the table, head in her hands. Carol just pulled out a chair and sat me in it, the sound of the chair alerting Lori she wasn’t alone anymore. She looked at both of us, concerned when she saw my tear-stained face, “What happened?”

“She had a little scare in the tree,” Carol answered simply. I’m glad she left it at that as I wanted to figure out what happened to Beth. 

I turned to Lori, “Did Beth get hurt?”

Lori paled, head jerking over my head to look at Carol who was standing behind me. I kept going, “Maggie looked really mad at Andrea.”

Lori sighed, turning warm brown eyes on me. “Yes, she did but Herschel is making her feel better.”

I nodded, looking at the table which had some dents and scratches on it. “Terry is with her too,” I replied, “he’ll make her feel better.”

I heard an ‘aw’ and then a small kiss on my forehead, making me look up to see Lori was tearing up. “Aren’t you sweet?”

Panicking, I shouted, “Don’t cry!” Rick might get mad at me if he found out that I was making Lori cry!

Both women laughed and Lori reached for my hair, pulling out what I saw to be a leaf. “It’s happy tears, I promise. Now come here, you got some leaves tangled in your hair.”

I slid off the chair and did just that, helping Lori place me on her lap so she can take leaves out of my hair, facing the direction Carol and I came from. I started to tune out the conversation both women had as Lori took my hair out of the two ponytails T-Dog put them in. Wasn’t long before we heard the rumbling of a car engine, feeling Lori tense up behind me. She quickly picked me up and put me down, running down the hall and to the front door. Confused, I looked at Carol who stopped peeling the potato. 

“Stay here,” she told me, getting up and following Lori. I stayed put until I heard shouting. I quickly ran over to the dining room and looked out the window, to see Shane shouting at Rick, pointing at the car they took to take away Randall. 

If Shane is still mad, that means Randall is still here. Guess Randall is here to stay. 

Taking another look at the two men, I realized they both got hurt, Rick a bit worse than Shane. Shane growled before opening the trunk of the car, pulling out a limping Randall, who looked better off than the older men. Shane pulled him towards the barn where all the walkers were before, still shouting loudly. I looked back to see Lori checking on Rick, both of them talking quietly to each other, Rick giving Lori a kiss to her head.

“Didn’t I tell you to stay?” I jumped, turning around to see Carol looking at me, arms crossed sternly.

“I did,” I started, thinking up an excuse quickly, “but I heard shouting and shouting means that there is trouble. So, I left my seat to see what was happening.”

She didn’t say anything but motioned with her head to head back. “Come on.”

One last look out the window, I did exactly that, wondering what the next few days will bring with Randall. One thing I can say is Rick refused to pass the motion I wanted to put in place.


	9. Dale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loving the reviews and Kudos, glad you guys find my little Cielo to be adorable and enjoyable.
> 
> Quick Disclaimer, any movies mentioned I own nothing relating to them, or I would be rich-ish. Just trying to keep to movies that more or less came out close to the pre-walker era for kids.

I wasn’t let out of Carol’s sight since I almost fell out of the tree. If it wasn’t for her and Daryl at the bottom, it could have been worse. With Beth not doing too good, I was sleeping in the tent with Carol since she had the extra room. It was weird sleeping in a tent because I never slept in one before, but it was better than sleeping in trees. The sleeping bag she gave me had little flowers on it. I sighed, wishing it was something cooler like bats or dinosaurs, but this wasn’t my sleeping bag, to begin with. When she asked, I told her that I thought pink flowers were silly.

The next morning, Carol was asking me about Mami and I answered her questions because I liked talking about Mami. I turned it around and asked Carol about Sophia but stopped because it was making her sadder. I pushed my empty plate away and looked at Carol again. “Sorry if I made you sad.” I apologized.

She looked at me with a smile that I knew was fake. “It’s okay, sweetheart.” 

I frowned but she pushed another question my way. “Why don’t you like pink flowers?”

“I don’t like pink or flowers.” I stress the ‘or’ very carefully. “ ‘Cause everyone thinks just ‘cause I’m a girl I have to like pink, flowers, or dresses.”

“Oh,” her eyes twinkled, not as sad as earlier, “what do you like?”

I grinned. “My favorite color is powder blue, not just regular blue, but powder blue, like Terry. And I like the movie Hotel Transylvania! Dracula is my favorite because he is the best daddy to Mavis, making sure she is safe and happy. I asked Mami to get me a stuffed bat to keep Terry company but Mami said that people think they’re too scary so they don’t make them, which I think is dumb. Vampires are so cool but dinosaurs like Terry are cool too!”

I jumped up in the seat, surprising Carol a little bit, “Did you know that we still have dinosaurs alive today?!“

She blinked at me in surprise. “Do we?”

I nodded my head hard enough that the curls on my head covered my eyes for a moment. “Yup, crocodiles are dinosaurs that are still alive and birds like chickens are related to them! Isn’t it crazy that we can eat a dinosaur like a chicken all the time without knowing that they’re a dinosaur?”

Carol burst out into a laugh and nodded. “Yes, it is.”

Not long after our talk at breakfast, Carol asked me if I wanted to talk to Mami and she can talk to Sophia. I nodded happily and held her hand on the way, she didn’t have to twist my arm. I think after our talk, Carol realized she missed Sophia and that’s why she wanted to go see her now. She wasn’t ready to talk to Sophia when we buried her.

Walking up to the graves, we both see Carl kneeling by Sophia’s grave, not noticing that we were coming. I tugged on her arm, whispering to her, “Maybe we should come back.” Anytime Carl is involved in something, it is never a good thing.

Carol just smiled down at me not slowing down as we approached Carl. Carol waved a hello over to Lori and Rick who were talking together in the distance. They both returned the gesture as we walked towards the graves. Looking down at Carl, Carol smiled down at him. “You know, we'll see Sophia again in heaven someday. She's in a better place.”

Carl looked up at her, anger shining in his eyes. “No, she's not. Heaven is just another lie. And if you believe it, you're an idiot!”

Carol’s face paled and she let go of my hand, turning around quickly, and I glared over at Carl. “Why are you such a jerk!”

“I’m not a jerk, everyone is just being so stupid! Heaven is just a story people tell little kids like you when people die. They don’t go anywhere, they get buried and stay there!”

“Good people like Sophia and Mami get to be angels. That isn’t a lie!” I shouted back at him.

I heard Carol scream off in the distance. “I don't need you to patronize me. Everyone either avoids me or they treat me like I'm crazy. I lost my daughter. I didn't lose my mind!”

He glared down at me. “No, your Mami is just like Sophia. She’s dead and you’ll never see her ever again! She’s just worm food!”

I pushed Carl hard, angry at him, “Take that back!”

I pushed Carl hard enough that he fell over and I climbed over him, hitting him over the head with Terry, screaming at him. “Take it back! Mentiroso! They aren’t worm food! Take it back!”

A pair of hands pulled me off the shocked boy. I kicked out, hoping to land one more hit on him, and a yelp tells me I did. “Baboso mentiroso! They aren’t worm food!”

“Easy!” Daryl pulled me away as Rick pulled a curled up Carl towards him.

I turned my glare to Daryl. “He is a lying jerk! He told Carol heaven isn’t real and I tell him good people like Mami and Sophia are angels. Then he says how Mami and Sophia aren’t angels but worm food!”

Rick let out a sigh, wincing as he looked down at his son. “I’ll talk to Carl, I promise.”

“El Baboso necesita un cocotazo!” I shouted at Carl, kicking in his direction, but he was still curled up whimpering in pain, hands between his legs.

“Easy, Bambi,” Daryl winced looking down at the boy. “You gave him a hit he won’t forget anytime soon. Come on.”

I growled, glare not leaving the boy even if Daryl was carrying me far away. Don’t care if he won’t forget it. I want to keep hitting him until he gets it in his thick skull that he was being a huge jerk. The figures of both Rick and Carl eventually were out of focus once we got to camp. He walked up to the RV where Glenn and T-Dog were both sitting up on top, one of them on watch and the other there likely to talk. Daryl let out a whistle that startled both of the men.

“One of ya mind keepin’ her away from Carl?” he asked, throwing my entire body under his arm since I wasn’t staying still. I just glared up at the man who didn’t spare me a second glance.

Glenn took one look at my face. “What did he say to get her face so red?”

“He called Mami and Sophia worm food!” I hissed up at him, attempting to wiggle out from underneath Daryl’s arm but he held strong.

T-Dog whistled, “That’ll do it.”

“I get why you want us to watch her,” Glenn started, scratching his head. “But what does she weigh? Forty pounds at most?”

Darryl scoffed. “Forty pounds of a kick to the family jewels. Can ya keep an eye on her or not? Carol ain’t doing better.”

Both men on the RV winced but T-Dog was the one to answer this time, “Yeah, send her up.”

Daryl led me to the ladder and placed me there, silently ordering me to go up with his eyes. I narrowed my eyes but did as he wanted to me anyway, lugging Terry along up the top of the RV. Once I was up there, I stomped over to T-Dog and sat on the floor between his legs, across from Glenn.

“How in the hell is something so tiny such a hellraiser?” Glenn asked in awe. I just glared over at him for a moment before huffing and looking across the farm fields.

Behind me, T-Dog let out a scoff of his own. “Ever date a Latina? Most of them are on the tiny side but if you get them going,” T-Dog laughed, “you’re as good as signing your death certificate.”

“Well,” Glenn started wincing, “I hope Carl will feel better.”

“Well, I hope the baboso won’t!” I hissed at Glenn, my head snapping from looking out the field to him. 

Glenn just held his hands up, wide-eyed, “Easy, just saying…”

* * *

Later that afternoon, Rick had gathered everyone to the house to decide what to do about Randall. Glenn left a while back, so it was me and T-Dog who were on watch when Rick was gathering people. Everyone was piling into the dining room once more, finding a spot that they were comfortable with. T-Dog held my hand as we walked in, he found a spot to sit in.

Lori turned to Carl who was standing next to her. ”Come on, Carl. I want you and Cielo to stay with Jimmy.”

My eyes narrowed in on Carl, who looked up at his mom pleadingly. “But--but I wanna listen!”

Lori shook her head and pointed towards the teenage boy. “Hm-mmm, not this time. Come on.”

I kept my gaze on Carl, ready to walk over when T-Dog spoke up. “Maybe,” T-Dog pulled me into his lap to stop me from walking over, “Cielo should be with Beth. Have her check in on how she’s doing.”

Carl looked over at me and returned the look I gave him. Baboso.

“Jesus,” Shane exclaimed, “what happened now? These two are like cats and dogs!”

“Except, the cat won the fight,” Glenn muttered, but everyone heard him all the same. 

I didn’t say anything but stayed still on T-Dog’s lap, waiting for him to say something, because he always has something to say. He’s worse than Gabriel. I played with Terry’s tail, waiting. The tension between the two of us didn’t help with the discussion that the grown-ups were going to have later on. 

“Carl,” Rick started, waiting for Carl to take the initiative. Carl didn’t say anything but crossed his arms. Rick pushed again. “Apologize to Cielo, now.”

Carl looked at his dad in disbelief but Rick just sent him a look that Carl knew well. Sighing, he looked in my direction. “I’m sorry about what I said about your Mami and Sophia.”

“Apology not accepted!” I shouted at him, crossing my arms.

“Cielo,” Dale began, ready to be the peacekeeper once again. “Carl is saying sorry.”

I glared over at Dale, “Well, I’m sorry he thinks Mami and Sophia aren’t angels but worm food! Cause they’re not! And he was really mean to Carol, too! He never means his apologies and until he does, I won’t take fake ones!”

A few hisses echoed in the room, along with a shocked ‘wow’ from Glenn. “Little man, you had to go and say that?” Shane asked, rubbing his face in disbelief.

“Sweetheart,” Lori started, “Carl is a little boy just like you’re a little girl. Sometimes little boys and girls say things they’re not supposed to say and that’s why Mommy and Daddy’s are there. To teach them what is and is not okay to say.”

“Well, I never had a daddy to teach me anything! Now Mami’s gone but even now I know that’s not something you say!” I told her, clutching onto Terry’s arm. I jumped off T-Dog’s lap and went to go back outside but Carl yelled back.

“Well, your Mami-”

I whirled around, “My Mami was better than you will ever hope to be in your entire life!”

Carl looked shocked that I said that, but I wasn’t done, “And I feel sorry for the baby to have such a dumb jerk like you as a big brother!” 

With that said, I ran off to the front porch, sitting at the bottom of the stairs feeling some tears build up in the bottom of my eyes but I held them there. I stayed there for a while, even when the voices grew a bit louder, but I didn’t want to go back inside. The sun was starting to set, giving me a chance to take a look at the pretty sunset past the fields on the farm. Not long after the shouting calmed down, Dale was the first to get out of the house, looking dejected.

“Dale,” I whispered quietly. He heard me and turned his head to me sitting on the porch steps. He sighed, looking down at me, and I said something before he did. “I’m sorry for yelling at you. I was mad at Carl, not you.”

A small smile broke out on his lips, “Was? Meaning you’re not anymore?”

I scrunch my nose at the mistake. “No, still am.”

He chuckled, pulling the strap of the rifle over his shoulder. “Come on, I think you and I need a long walk after today.”

I nodded, reaching up for his hand as the door opened again. Dale didn’t turn around to look as he started walking off the porch to spare a glance at Shane, Daryl, or Rick. “We’re going for a walk.” He muttered to the men, me quietly going along with him.

“Wait,” Rick ran up to us, “can I talk to Cielo for a bit?”

Dale nodded,” That’s fine.”

I looked up at Rick who knelt down so he could talk to me eye to eye. “Cielo, I’m sorry for the way Carl is behaving. I promise you he really is a good kid.” His eyes begged me. “Now, you have every right to feel the way you do. All I ask is that you give Carl a chance,” he begged and I felt ready to tell him no, but Rick beat me to it, “just a chance. Sophia is his friend and he’s just mad at himself because he couldn’t find her. He’s just taking it out on everyone around him and he knows that’s not right.”

I narrowed my eyes at that, not really sure what to say, looking up to see both Shane and Daryl listen to what is going on. “What would your Mami do?” I heard Rick ask.

Looking at Rick, I saw he meant what he was saying. “Mami won’t forget but forgive. Because that’s what she did with my dad. She said she forgave him but will never forget what he did.” I told him, which made him wince a bit. I sighed, looking up above the heads of the men on the porch, “And probably would say I’m being a hothead and to think about it again when I cool off…”

“See,” Rick chuckled. “Maybe you’re still being a hothead about it.”

Doubt it.

“Well, it’s probably a good thing we’re going to go for a walk.” Dale interrupted, reaching for my hand again, which I happily gave him so we can go.

We turned around walking off before Daryl called out, “Bambi!”

I groaned, looking at the man coming down the porch, whining at the nickname. “Daryl!” 

He says it to annoy me. I know it. Maybe if I act to like it, he’ll stop calling me Bambi?

“Next time, reel in some of those punches.” He told me. “I know ya mad but you can’t say that he won’t be a good brother, alright.”

“When you’re angry at someone, you’re supposed to reel in the punches to not hurt them?” I asked him, knowing full well I was being cheeky.

He pointed a finger at me, glowering. “Don’t be cheeky.”

I blinked up at him, “I’m being cheeky?”

Dale chuckled, “Come on,” he tugged on my hand. “We need to take a walk.”

With that said, Dale and I walked over towards the fields, listening to him talk about his wife and how she burned a Thanksgiving turkey the year she decided to invite her coworkers over for the first time in her entire life. I grinned at the memory that played in my head with a younger Dale at the head of a table. I was about to ask him if they ever invited her coworkers again when we heard a pitiful moan. 

I froze in the spot, listening carefully for the noise again. Dale let go, hand gesturing to stay put. “Cielo, stay right there, let me just take a look to see what’s going on, okay?”

He didn’t even look to see me nod an okay as he walked further, towards the sound, rifle pointed in front of him. I listened carefully, heart pounding in my chest, breathing slowly to keep myself from breathing too loud. In front of us was a cow, laying on it’s side, groaning in pain. Then I heard it, the raspy snarl all of the walkers made, and looked around for it. 

Once, I spotted it, I yelled for Dale too late. It pulled him down, knocking him over, the walker quickly pulling itself up and taking a bite out of Dale, it’s claws dragging down. I screamed not long after Dale, who looked over at me. “R-run! Ru-run!”

I shook my head, tears falling down, looking around for the rifle. Sobbing, I saw that the rifle wasn’t too far from Dale but it was out of his reach. I ran over to it, picking it up with some difficulty, hearing Dale sobbing in pain as I heard the tearing noise of the walker biting chunks out of him. I turned it around, trying to aim for the walker but I couldn’t hold up the heavy rifle. 

“Dale!” I screamed, crying.

He was getting eaten in front of me and I couldn’t do anything!

The walker looked up at me, face covered in Dale’s blood, stringy bits falling out of its mouth as it looked at me. Dale grabbed onto the walker, so it couldn’t get to me, grunting with effort as he did so. Luckily, an arrow flew into the walkers head, and I fell down staring at Dale with tears falling down my face.

Andrea’s voice echoed first before she screamed, “Dale!”

Dale coughed on the ground as Daryl appeared right behind Andrea. Dale turned to look at her, gasping for air, listening to what she was saying for his ears only. 

Daryl took one look at me but then turned around, shouting. “Help! Over here! Help! Run!” Running a hand over his head, Daryl took one look at me and another at Dale, unsure of what to do, ”Hang in there, buddy.”

Shane was the next person to arrive, “Oh my god. Oh god.”

“Who is it?” Lori’s voice rang out next, who took one look at the man on the ground before yelling for Rick who just arrived. Lori looked around horrified and then paled when she saw me.

“I couldn’t shoot it!” I cried. “It was too heavy and I couldn’t shoot the monster! It ate Dale. It ate him!”

Lori ran over to me, picking me up and holding me to her, which I held onto her just as hard. Dale is going to die. 

“All right, just listen to my voice. Listen to me, all right? Just listen to me.” Rick pleaded with Dale as he moaned in response, gasping desperately.

“Okay, hold on now. Get Hershel! He needs blood. We got to operate now.” Rick shouted behind me, hoping that someone did what he asked, because Dale is hurting. He needed something for the pain. The walker was eating him!

“Hang on, Dale. Hang on.” Andrea begged him, sobbing as she held his hand.

I heard Dale wheeze, trying to breathe air, and I felt a hand pat my head. “Hey, look at me.”

I turned my head to see Daryl, blocking the view of Dale bleeding out on the grassy field. “You okay? Did it touch you?”

“I couldn’t shoot it. It was too heavy. I couldn’t save Dale!” I cried to Daryl. 

He shook his head, rubbing my cheek, wiping some of the never ending tears that were falling. “Nah, not your fault. Ya hear me. There was nothing you could’ve done.”

“Can we move him?” Rick asked someone.

“He won't make the trip.” I heard Herschel’s voice reply. Dale’s wheezing struggle to get air into his lungs got stronger.

“You have to do the operation here. Glenn, get back to the house!” Rick ordered, trying to keep everything together.

“Rick…” Herschel didn’t sound too optimistic and I knew what that meant. I tried to look over Daryl, who was listening just like I was.

“Dale!” I screamed. Pushing against Lori, trying to get back to him

Andrea was sobbing into his hand, clasping desperately onto the dying man. “Oh god.”

Dale was gurgling and I pushed harder. “Let me say bye! Please!” I begged.

Daryl must have motioned something to Lori because she let me go and I ran straight to Dale, hugging his head. “I’m sorry I couldn’t shoot it.”

Dale had a hand, reach up, rubbing my cheek with his thumb. I pulled away so I can look at his eyes, eyes that were filled with as much emotional pain as what he felt physically. “I’ll miss you.” I told him, giving a kiss on his head, not wanting to let go. Dale looked up at someone and I felt being lifted away from him. “Bye Dale!” I shouted, afraid of not saying goodbye to someone again.

I heard crying from others other than me as Lori was taking me away from the field. I nuzzled my face into Lori’s shoulders crying at losing Dale. It ate him! There is no fixing that!

Lori and I weren’t too far when the gunshot rang out behind us.


	10. Really Carl?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I finally figured where I am heading after writing 3 different versions of chapter 21 with additional different chapters from each version before landing myself where I am now with one storyline. My mind truly is my own enemy.
> 
> Thank you for the kudos!

We held a funeral service for Dale the next morning. I left Terry in the house because I couldn’t look at him until he was washed. I didn’t realize he was covered in Dale’s blood until Lori and I got back to the house last night. Seeing Terry dripping crimson droplets all over the floor, my shirt, and hands. It just started another crying fit. I hated feeling like a baby.

Instead of having Terry to hold onto at the funeral, I had Daryl. I don’t think he liked it but he was nice enough to let me stay there. I think he was feeling just as upset as me but he hid it better because he cradled my head close to him, and I knew it wasn’t just for me to hide my face into his leg when I wanted to cry. When the service was over Daryl told me to stay with Carol or Lori because he was going out with the others to check for more walkers. I didn’t argue with him and did just that. 

When Lori went to talk with Shane, I went up the stairs to see how Beth was doing, not wanting to be near the man. Lately, he was acting like the kind of crazy that you lock up in those huge buildings. He was really twitchier and angrier than usual. Not sure if it was what happened to Dale last night or the fact that Randall was still alive and not dead, like what everyone but Dale wanted.

At least now I know what they were voting on in the house yesterday. 

Beth seemed to be doing better. She talked to me a little bit before telling me she was tired. I knew she wasn’t really tired but didn’t push it. Instead, I went to Maggie’s room to refold my clothes into the backpack that Carol gave me yesterday. I closed the door as usual and moved stuff out of the way so I could pull out my dinosaur bone backpack, running fingers over the pictures of the skeletons on the navy blue bag, wondering if that’s how all walkers will look like after a while.

I opened up the bag, taking out the cans that I found at the last house, before glancing at the tinier cans of vienna sausage. Mami liked eating these. I wonder if Dale liked them too?

Letting out a sigh, I pulled out the items at the bottom of the bag next. The soft plastic bags that were flat packages of noodles I threw to the side when pulling out my last pair of clothing were slightly crushed. Technically, they were supposed to be above the cans, not below them, but I didn’t need to eat any of this with all the food in Herschel’s farm. Maybe I should give it to Patricia before any of it goes bad.

Before I did, I felt the boxes that were at the bottom to make sure they were okay before stacking everything the way Mami taught me. Next, I worked on the clothes. I kept my yellow sweater out because it was getting cold and Carol only had so many blankets in the tent. I rolled my shirts the way I was taught when the door opened up to Maggie looking down at me in surprise. “Cielo? What are you doing?”

“Packing my backpack,” I replied, putting the rolled shirt to the side to help minimize the sounds of cans rattling.

I heard the bedroom door close as Maggie sat on the floor with me. “Are you leaving?” she asked, worried that I was.

“No, it’s just something to do. Everyone is busy doing something and I don’t have anything important to do.” I told her, rolling the second pair of jeans I had. 

It was silent for a moment before she said something else. “How are you doing?”

I stopped, ready to start crying, but nothing came out. I still felt the heavy feeling in my chest like I did when I lost Mami but nothing was leaking or even clustering in my vision ready to burst into a waterfall. “Tired...” I finally answered, and it honestly felt like the right answer.

Maggie reached over, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. “Well, Daddy told Rick that everyone can come into the house to sleep. Want to be my roommate?” 

I looked over at her in confusion, “What about Glenn? Isn’t he your boyfriend?”

She looked shocked at that but quickly grinned at me. “I think he’s scared of Daddy.”

I grinned back. “Glenn is scared of Herschel?”

“Ah, ah,” she shook a finger at me. “Daddy loves me and Beth, cause we’re his girls. Daddy won’t let just anyone near his girls.”

I felt a small sharp pain in my chest but I ignored it, listening to Maggie. “You should know.” she poked my shoulder.

I tilted my head, “Know what?”

Maggie grinned. “Daddy is treating you like he does with Beth, you just bat them doe-eyes at Daddy, and he melts to mush.”

I blinked at her before a memory flashed by. I narrowed my eyes at her. “Ya know, cause you said I batted my doe-eyes, Daryl started calling me Bambi, and it’s annoying.”

“Bambi is a cute little deer with pretty eyes like you!” Maggie tried to spin it in a positive light.

“Bambi is Disney, which sucks.” I told her but expanded when she was about to say something else. “Bambi is a boy whose Momma got shot by a hunter and his Daddy is nowhere when he needs him. I’m a girl whose Mami was shot by a hunter to stop her from being a monster and no dad in sight.” I replied monotonously. 

Maggie looked like a fish, opening her mouth to say something and then stopping. “I’m a six-year old tiny for her size, not dumb. I can make observations.” I told her. “Whatever I didn’t understand, I googled or Youtubed.” I continued.

“Maybe Bambi is too much on the nail…”Maggie conceded, looking at me wide-eyed.

I nodded, scrunching my nose. “Yeah, Disney isn’t my favorite after one of the kids at daycare pointed out I was a Disney kid. I looked it up and found out it’s either one parent is missing, dead, or both. Cinderella, Bambi, Tarzan, Snow White, Dumbo, Lion King. There is probably more that I haven’t seen where it’s the same thing. Don’t know why people call Disney World the happiest place on earth if all the movies are about a dead or missing parent’s kid.”

“Oh, God, it got morbid,” Maggie muttered to herself before looking over at me. “No Disney.”

“No Disney.” I agreed, then coming to another realization. 

Maggie noticed my look and warily asked, “What is it?”

“Well, my favorite movie. I’m trying to figure out if Hotel Transylvania is the same concept because technically, Dracula and his wife are vampires so they’re already dead, but the mom dies, and he is left alone to take care of their daughter by himself. And it’s not Disney...”

“What kind of movies have they been making for kids?” Maggie asked, horrified.

“I think I never realized it because it was a funny movie.” I told her, ignoring her horror. 

I looked over to see Maggie’s eyes nearly bugging out of her head. “How are you so calm about this right now?”

“Like I said,” I shrugged, “I think I’m tired. Mami says you can be mentally tired. I think I’m tired of all the bad luck thrown Mami’s way and now with us. Tired of losing Mami and Dale. Tired of fighting with Carl but he’s a jerk, so I’ll probably find the energy to yell at him anyway. Just...tired...”

“Oh, honey,” Maggie scooted over, pulling me into her arms and I let her. 

“I’m not upset Daryl shot her.” I continued on a previous topic. “He did Mami a favor because she wasn’t Mami anymore and I know Mami would be upset if she hurt me as a monster. When she stopped being a monster she was Mami again and I know being a monster was her nightmare. She told me so. Who else would take care of me if she’s gone?”

I felt Maggie give me a kiss on the top of my head. “Well, we’ll take care of you, so your Mami doesn’t have to worry.” I felt a drop of water hit the top of my head and I looked up to see Maggie crying.

“Don’t cry,” I told her, wiping her face, ”everything is going to be fine. I know it.”

She sniffed and laughed, green eyes twinkling. “If you say so.” She looked around the floor, a little confused before looking at me. “Where is Terry?”

I scrunch my nose, “He needs a wash. He has Dale’s blood on him and it makes me feel...” I didn’t finish the sentence because I didn’t know how to but something tells me Maggie will get it. She looked down at me, nodding, brushing some more hair behind my ear. “I hate feeling like a baby. All I do is cry…”

Maggie smiled sadly at me. “Well, you're only six, so it’s okay to cry. Until you’re big enough, like Carl who can hold a gun, not much else you can do sweetie.”

“It sucks,” I pouted and she laughed, eyes still red from the tears coming down her face. 

“I know, I was tiny a long time ago and said the same thing.” She thought about it a little more. “What about the slingshot?”

I looked up at her, smiling. “That’s right! I can still take down some walkers with a slingshot! I can do it from a window if I can’t go outside!” Then the grin went away, remembering I had the slingshot when the walker was eating Dale. 

“What’s wrong?” Maggie was worried about the sudden mood change. I just leaned into her, “I had the slingshot when Dale was attacked. I could have killed the walker with that instead of trying to pick up the gun. It’s my fault he died. I couldn’t do anything.”

“No!” The force of it shocked me as I looked up at blazing eyes. “That was not your fault. All of that was an accident. A horrible accident, but an accident. You weren’t the walker who hurt Dale. Were you?”

I shook my head no, staring up at the woman. “Then if you weren’t the walker, it wasn’t your fault. I don’t want you saying it was your fault ever again. Understand.” I nodded. She looked at me, trying to see if I just agreed for the sake of it before saying, “Good. Now, finish packing up and I’ll go see about Terry getting washed up.”

She gave me another kiss to the head before putting me back to the floor and heading out of the room, leaving the door open. I blinked after her, looking back at the floor that had a few more shirts laid out. I went back to packing up my bag before zipping it all back up. A pair of feet started going up the stairs and I saw Herschel bring up bags. He saw me on the floor and gave me a smile, which I returned, before heading to his room. Carl wasn’t too far behind him, bringing some more bags and my smile was gone. He just glared at me, following Herschel quietly. Looks like everyone is moving in now.

Lori was right behind Carl, not holding anything but probably to see where everything was going. Like the other two people, she noticed me in Maggie's room and walked over. “Hey,” she glanced at the backpack in my hand. “Going somewhere?”

“No, just fixing up my backpack. Mami says it’s a good habit in case we need to run.” I told her, stuffing it back under the bed. It was quiet again but Carl’s voice chimed in behind her. “Hey, I’m going to be on the lookout.” Like usual, he ran off before he got an answer but Lori just sighed and looked back at me.

“How are you feeling?” she asked. I already went through this with Maggie but answered all the same. 

“Tired.” I didn’t go into it. She was the one who cleaned me up from being covered in Dale’s blood yesterday. I think she knew how tired I was. Mentally or physically. She didn’t come into the room and I didn’t move from my spot on the floor unsure of what to say or do. “Cielo, about yesterday-” Lori started but I cut her off.

“I know, Rick already talked to me yesterday. Still mad at him.” I told her, not wanting to get into it again. She was quiet for a moment before she crossed her arms, nodding her head.

“Okay, that’s fair.” She started walking into the room and sat on the floor next to me. “Can I ask you something?” I wanted to say that she just did but held back realizing it was serious. I sighed and stretched out my legs in front of me, nodding that it was okay to go ahead and ask.

“How come you have your daddy’s last name if you never had your daddy?” she asked. I looked down at my hands, twiddling with them before I answered. 

“Because Grandma and Grandpa asked Mami to.” I whispered to her. “I was sleeping over one time at Grandma and Grandpa’s once when he came to visit them. I think Grandma thought if he saw me he would change his mind about me but he started yelling. A lot of mean stuff. He didn’t want me to have his last name but Grandpa said I was a Sheppard, like it or not.” The heavy feeling came to my chest once again and I just rubbed it, wanting it to go away.

“Well, your Grandpa sounds like a good man.” Herschel’s voice boomed from the door. Both Lori and I jumped from the sudden sound echo in the room. Herschel stood in the doorway with a frown on his face. “Whether he likes it or not, you are a Sheppard just as much as your daddy is.”

“He’s too mean to be a daddy.” I mumbled, looking at my shoelace that untied itself. I sat up so I could tie it again, using the bunny ears Mrs. Pritchard from the daycare showed me.

“Some people aren’t good daddy’s...” Herschel agreed solemnly. It was a stilted moment but Herschel seemed to know what to say. “How about you come with me and milk some cows?”

“Wait, the cows with milk are hidden away?” I asked him. Herschel and Lori looked at each other before Herschel looked back at me. “Well, they aren’t hidden but put in a different place than the ones out in the field. Why?”

“ ‘Cause when I found the farm I was trying to get milk from one of the cows in the field,” I muttered to him. That brought a smile to both of their faces. He chuckled and motioned over, “Come on, I’ll show you where they are.”

“‘Kay, let me just tie my shoe!” I attempted the bunny ears again. Mrs. Pritchard made it look so easy! It wasn’t hard but I kept messing up somewhere. Groaning in frustration, I looked over at both adults, blinking up owlishly at them. “Can someone teach me? Because bunny ears aren’t doing it.”

* * *

Herschel was a funny old man. When we were milking the cows, he told me to be careful, cause some of them liked picking on new people. I didn’t think it was true until I tried milking this one cow, Annabell. He told me to give it a shot. She didn’t kick me, luckily. She just kept moving away from me! Every time I put the bucket down, ready to squeeze an udder, she walked off! Eventually, Herschel came into the pen and did the same thing but she stayed put! “Annabell makes people work hard just to get a little milk. Maybe next time.” He said.

Well, I’m not a fan of Annabell. She should pick on someone her own size.

Herschel was carrying back both of the buckets to the house. They were too heavy for me to lift. That’s when we walked back into chaos. Glenn ran into us on the way back, saying that Randall was missing, and he couldn’t be found. Herschel looked at me. “Run to the house and stay there.” 

I nodded, taking one look at Glenn’s panicked face, before heading off to the house. I ran up the porch steps to see Patricia looking towards the barn nervously, one arm cradling her body and biting her thumb on the other. Looking around the porch, I ran back down stuffing my pockets with small rocks. “Sweetheart, what are you doing? Get inside, now.”

“In case I need to hit someone with a slingshot.” I told her, running inside the house. The best view of the barn was from the living room, so I went there to see what was going on. Rick, Lori, T-Dog, Daryl, and Glenn were the ones I saw first. Herschel just came around the corner of the barn with Maggie not far behind. Andrea was making her way over to the group to see what was going on. They were all talking until they all turned towards the woods, a bleeding Shane tumbling through the trees. Everyone ran up to him to see what happened. After a few minutes and a change of weapons between T-Dog and Rick, everyone dispersed, going in different directions.

Herschel and T-Dog split up themselves, Lori and Andrea heading towards the house until Lori veered off. I left the window and sat on the couch, careful to not sit on the neatly folded blanket and pillow that was set on the couch, trying to look as innocent as possible. Andrea was the first to get inside with Patricia not far behind her. Little by little, the house filled up with others who weren’t chasing Randall in the woods. As the sun went down, Lori was more anxious than the second before. “Lori, why don’t you sit?” Patricia sweetly asked the pregnant woman.

“I can’t,” she shook her head, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. “Randal can bring back a whole group of men. Rick is out there in the woods. It’s almost late at night.” She listed off, pacing in the living room. She opened her mouth to say something else Andrea beat her to it, standing up and walking to the door. “I'm going after them.”

Lori shook her head, the whites of her eyes standing out. “Don't. They could be anywhere. And if Randall comes back, we're gonna need you here.” She reasoned with Andrea. Before either woman could get into it further, the front door opened and Daryl was the first to come into view.

“Rick and Shane ain't back?” He looked around the living room before turning his attention to Lori. 

“No.”

Daryl glanced at Glenn before talking to Lori. “We heard a shot.”

“Maybe they found Randall?”

Daryl shook his head. “We found him.”

Maggie walked up towards them, hand to her neck, eyes bouncing between the two men. “Is he back in the shed?” Daryl grabbed onto his bow, slinging it over his shoulder as he looked over at Glenn. Trying to find the best way to say things before deciding to just say it.

“He's a walker.”

“Did you find the walker that bit him?” Herschel asked from his seat, looking up at the two men who were the only ones with the answers.

“No, the weird thing is he wasn't bit.” Glenn interjected. 

“His neck was broke.” Daryl clarified.

Patricia looked around the room, confused. “So he fought back?”

“The thing is,” Daryl started, looking at Andrea and Lori, “Shane and Randall's tracks were right on top of each other. And Shane ain't no tracker, so he didn't come up behind him. They were together.”

Lori ran a hand over her head, trying to grasp what she was hearing. “Would you please get back out there, find Rick and Shane and find out what on earth is going on?”

“You got it.” He turned around, walking past Glenn to walk back out.

“Thank you,” Lori called after him.

He turned to leave but stopped immediately. Lori looked past him and gasped, quickly running up the stairs where she had Carl stay put. That alarmed the others and Herschel, who quickly strode over behind the hunter. He didn’t look away from what was in front of him but whispered. “Patricia, kill the lights.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda excited because I'm getting close to introducing Grandpa in the storyline I picked.
> 
> As usual, I own nothing other than my own little characters. Just trying to make this as believable with two kids in it.


	11. The Highway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter came out short but I'm going over the chapters again prior to uploading them. I'm pretty much Betaing my own stuff with a more analytical eye. I don't believe the next chapter will be as short as this one.
> 
> I'll keep to my once a week minimum updates and anything is a bonus. Thank you for the Kudos and Comments.
> 
> Don't have the energy to respond after a long and heavy week with patients but they did bring a smile to my face.

Everyone in the house was scattered between packing up belongings, gathering up guns and ammo, or in Lori’s case, for Carl. I ran up the stairs to grab my backpack from underneath Maggie’s bed. I pulled the water bottle from the top of the bag and ran down the hall to fill up the bottle with water, watching as it passed each black line Mami drew on the bottle. 

_ “So you know not to drink past this line to save water, just in case, okay” She patted my face with a smile. _

She did that so I wouldn’t drink water too fast because it was getting harder to find clean water. Only when we found water that I could drink as much as I want but Mami was stricter about the black line for herself than for me. I was happy when one of the houses had a big bottle to hold more water than a normal water bottle. It meant more water in between lines.

Once that was full, I made sure to twist tight and put it inside my bag. I was about to leave the bathroom when a hand slammed the door open, seeing a wide eye Lori. “Don’t you disappear like that on me again.”

She grabbed my hand, pulling me behind her as we went down the stairs where the sounds of gunfire were suddenly louder than upstairs. Carol noticed Lori coming down the stairs with me behind her. ”I can't find him anywhere.”

Carol looked at Lori nervously, “So maybe he snuck outside?”

That didn’t help calm Lori. She just let out a sob and shouted over the gunfire, holding tightly onto me. “What do I do?”

Carol calmly shook her head, reaching to calm Lori down. “He was here. He must've run off, maybe looking for Rick or went after Randall himself.” She listed options, unsure how to calm the anxious mother.

Patricia came on Lori’s other side, rubbing her back as soothingly as possible. “Maybe he set the fire?” I looked up at Patricia, knowing that Carl being outside the house setting a barn on fire isn’t the most comforting thing to say. I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned around to see Beth holding onto a somewhat clean Terry. ”Maggie couldn’t get it all off.”

I looked at the triceratops to see that he had a dark rusted stain on his lower left leg and tail. I leaned into Lori and gently pulled my hand so I could run a finger over the stain. “It’s okay, she tried.” I looked at the triceratops that was once powder blue with green horns and finger tips with two button eyes. Now, it had one left eye with a rusted brown tail and left leg. It wasn’t the same as before. I felt Lori gently push me forward as I concentrated on Terry.

There was the rapid firing of guns outside of the house and the noises of engines roaring around the farm.I just held onto Lori’s hands again, which were getting clammy, but they held onto my hands tightly, knuckles white. Carl really was a baboso for leaving his mom alone like this. I looked up at Lori, “I hope this baby is a girl because boys can be real dumb.” That got a shaky laugh out of her and the other women. “Yes,” Lori agreed. “Boys can be dumb.”

Lori tugged me along with her to the front porch, where the ensuing chaos of gunfire and roaring engines were combined with the groans of hundreds of walkers. “Lori…” I pulled her closer, eyes darting at the number of dead people walking amongst the few of us on the farm. She cradled my head close, taking in the mayhem herself. Carol tried again. “Lori, we need to go.”

Lori didn’t seem to look at Carol, shaking her head, checking off a mental list. “I checked the shed. I can't find him anywhere.”

Carol looked around nervously once more before turning to Lori. “Not in the cellar or the attic…”

Lori sobbed, finally looking at Carol, “Why can't he listen for once?” She took a breath, looking around before settling in a direction. ”Okay, okay, if he followed his daddy, he went that way.” Lori pulled me along, ready to head in the direction she felt was right.

Carol pulled on her arm, refusing to let her go. “No, you'll lead 'em right to him. We can't stay here!” I looked up at both women, one who is grieving and the other trying to keep a level head.

Lori roared at Carol, face near tears.“That's my boy!”

Carol didn’t react. She just looked at Lori calmly, ”You're gonna have to trust him. If we find him, he's gonna need his mother. We've gotta go.” Both women had a battle of wills, but the tremble Lori’s lips signaled that she was giving in.

She closed her eyes momentarily before nodding. “Get the others.” She made sure to hold onto me and shouted out. “Carl!”

Carol poked her head into the doorway of the house. “Beth, Patricia, come on. We've gotta go now.” She watched as the two women left the house, clutching onto the other in fear. As a group, we started moving off the porch, mindful of where we were stepping.

“Hershel,” Lori called out to the man, who loaded up his rifle as we were passing by him. “Hershel. Hershel! Hershel, it's time to go!” Lori was desperate to get the man to move away from his spot, but he told everyone he was willing to die on his land, which I really hoped was just a figure of speech. So far, it looked like the farmer meant what he said.

Carol pushed the two scared women ahead of her, “Come on! Now!”

Lori tried a few more times, barely moving, not noticing the walkers that were getting close to behind us. “Hershel! Hershel!”

Carol turned her attention to Lori. “We gotta go. We gotta get out of here. We gotta go.”

Lori looked conflicted but looked down at me, eyes wide and darting around us, squeezing her hand harder than before. Nodding at Carol she started moving, “Stay behind me. Stay behind me. Come on, girls. Come on.” We started running in a direction away from the house, eventually, Lori bent down to pick me up because I couldn’t keep up with their longer strides. I heard someone cry out and I turned around to see Carol missing and Patricia being ripped into by two walkers, hand holding tight to Beth.

“Beth!” I screamed, worried that she’ll get eaten too. I saw as a small horde was pulling Patricia down, screaming in agony. Eventually, Beth managed to get free and kept running with us. Beth turned around, looking for someone before yelling out, “Dad!”

A car pulled up next to us, Andrea’s face appearing in the truck bed, shooting at the closest walkers. “Get in!” Lori quickly ran around, ripping the passenger door open and sliding in quickly before closing the door behind her. Beth jumped into the back of the truck as Andrea jumped off, screaming Carol's name, and T-Dog pushed down on the gas pedal, getting us out from being surrounded by the walkers. I watched with wide eyes as Andrea disappeared in the swarm of walkers that we left behind.

* * *

Everyone was quiet in the truck, not saying a word since what happened just a few hours ago. No one knew where anyone else was. Everyone who had a vehicle picked up who they could and must be scattered like we are. Add in the fact that we lost more people like Andrea and Patricia was a punch to the gut. Who knows who else we lost.

I sat on Beth’s lap between Lori and T-Dog, who was glumly driving mindlessly. After who knows how long, Lori was the first to say something. She blinked, looking around, “Hey, we gotta turn around.”

T-Dog’s head snapped over to look at Lori before back on the road. “Straight back to that herd? Um, no!” He shook his head with finality.

Lori looked behind her, at the dark road that we just passed. “The highway's back there. That's where they'll be.” She stressed, looking back at T-Dog. “Rick will go back to where we first broke down and Glenn too.”

T-Dog wasn’t being convinced and didn’t look at Lori this time.” We're headed east, get to the coast.” He stated firmly. “We should've done that from the jump. Look, we've got a shot to get out of here in one piece.”

Lori shook her head, face pinched with denial. “ I gotta find Carl. He may have escaped with somebody.”

T-Dog sighed, “I hate to say it, but he's on his own.” My head snapped up at that in disbelief. “There's no way to even begin to start looking.”

Lori started to cry, shaking her head, angry eyes set on T-Dog. “You're wrong.”

T-Dog sighed again, scratching his head through the beanie he wore today. “Look, we can't go back. I'm sorry. It's suicide.” He tried reasoning with Lori.

“T-,” I started but Lori was louder, turning her body to the door. “All right, then let me out.” She opened the door, ready to jump out and T-Dog looked at her with wide eyes, “Hey! Whoa!” The whole car was coming to a stop, the sound of the brakes screeching as he did so.

Lori turned her glare to T-Dog, staring him down. “Then turn around, or you let us out right now!”

T-Dog looked angry himself, shouting at her. “I should do it, you know.” He took another look around and sighed, “You're out of your damn minds.” With that, he put the car in reverse and drove towards where Lori wanted him to go in the first place. No one said anything for a while until we saw tail lights up ahead, a rumbling engine with it. Lori let out a sobbing laugh, a shaking hand reaching up to her face in relief. “I’ll be damned,” T-Dog muttered to himself.

“If the highway was an important place to you guys, that should’ve been a good place to start,” I told T-Dog, who simply pinched my cheek in retaliation. “Ow!” I pulled my face away from him. “I’m telling Daryl!”

“Well, he’ll say you were being cheeky and deserved it.” T-Dog threw back at me. I just pouted, glaring over at the bald man, knowing that’s exactly what Daryl would say. I looked up at Beth, blinking up at her, “Was that being cheeky?”

She smiled down at me, her eyes not meeting the requirements of a truly happy smile. “No, you were just stating a fact.” I stuck my tongue out at T-Dog, who shook his head, hiding a grin behind the hand he pinched me with.

Eventually, we were driving through a congested highway full of cars. Lori let out a gasp of excitement, and I looked at her, seeing she was staring at something beyond the abandoned cars. Once the car in front of us came to a stop, T-Dog turned off the car engine, Lori not wasting any time bursting out the car and running to her family. Beth saw Maggie get out of the car in front of us and quickly pushed me towards T-Dog. Surprised, I looked up at the man I was basically thrown to unable to form any coherent thoughts or words. He just shook his head, “Come on, let’s go see who’s here.” 

As he opened the door to get out, I grabbed my bag from the car floor, putting it on before getting out. Coming out, I saw Lori, Carl, and Rick formed one ball of hugging limbs while Beth, Maggie, and Herschel made another. Seeing the two families were okay, I looked around and saw Carol, who disappeared before Patricia was eaten. “Carol!” I shouted, running over to her, ignoring the slamming of the backpack. I slammed into her legs, “I’m glad you’re okay! I thought that walkers got you!”

Rick pulled away from his family to take a look around, laughing in disbelief at everyone who was here. Rick turned to Daryl, grasping onto his arm in greeting. “Where'd you find everyone?”

Daryl grinned over at Glenn, “Well, those guys' tail lights zigzagging all over the road--figured he had to be Asian, driving like that.”

Glenn chuckled, not having it in him to be mad, “Good one.”

Daryl looked around, taking account of who was and wasn’t here. “Where's the rest of us?”

Rick’s face suddenly lost what joy he found. “We're the only ones who made it so far.” A small silence followed that statement as everyone looked around.

Lori looked at Rick, holding Carl close to her as if he would disappear. Again. “Shane?”

Glenn looked around, asking anyone in general who would know the answer, “Andrea?”

Carol shook her head. “She saved me, then I lost her.”

T-Dog groaned, hitting the side of the truck. “We saw her go down.”

Hershel looked at both of his daughters, wondering if one of them would tell him what happened. “Patricia?”

Beth started tearing up at the memory. “They got her too,” she looked up at Herschel as tears started running down her face. “Took her right in front of me. I was--” the crying got stronger, “I was holdin' onto her daddy. She just--What about Jimmy? Did you see Jimmy?” Her tear filled face looked around the group for answers.

Rick grimaced, bearing the bad news to her. “He was in the RV. It got overrun.”

Carol looked between Lori and T-Dog, trying to understand what happened with Andrea. “You definitely saw Andrea?” she asked them, soothing her hand over my hair. It most likely was comforting her more than it was to me. Holding onto her is all I needed. Lori was the one to answer Carol.

“There were walkers everywhere…”

Carol pressed on, “Did you see her?”

Daryl pulled on the straps of his bow, walking towards his bike. “I'm gonna go back.”

Rick quickly threw out there, shaking his head vehemently. ”No.”

Daryl looked confused, gesturing to the other side of the woods. “We can't just leave her.”

Lori sighed defeatedly, running her hands over Carl’s shoulders, assuring herself that Carl truly was there and not a figment of her imagination. “We don't even know if she's there…”

Rick kept on. “She isn't there. She isn't.” He looked at Daryl in the eyes, trying to make a point. “She's somewhere else or she's dead. There's no way to find her.”

Glenn looked shocked, looking around the group to see if anyone would say something. “So we're not even gonna look for her?”

Rick looked at Glenn, then his eyes met with every other person in the group. “We gotta keep moving. There have been walkers crawling all over here.”

T-Dog jumped in, ready to move. “I say head east.”

Daryl added his two cents not long after T-Dog, “Stay off the main roads. The bigger the road, the more walkers, more assholes like this one.” He bit out, “I got him.” He suddenly turned around, shooting an arrow into the walker that stumbled out of the woods. My eyes were glued to the walker with the arrow sticking out of his head. Like most walkers, his face was severely decomposed, eyes sunken in.

Everyone started talking about who would go in which car, talking about where to head and what to do if something goes wrong. Without meaning to, a yawn escaped me, and it caught the attention of the closest adults. “Looks like someone is tired.” Carol whispered quietly to me, running her knuckles over my cheek. I didn’t say anything other than attempt to fight the losing battle I felt. Eyes felt like weights had attached themselves and another yawn escaped me, I turned my head, nuzzling into Carol’s leg that I haven’t let go since I saw her.

A pair of hands lift me, “Let’s get you in here.” Glenn’s voice muttered in my ear. The sound of a car door opening was all I heard after being placed on the backseat.


	12. New Rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this chapter before I get into another hectic week!

I heard something loud pierce my ears and I jumped up, looking around me trying to place the sound. I sat up, looking around blurrily, noticing that there was a fire not far from me, bodies huddled near it. Confused, I started to get up to get away from the fire but a pair of hands pulled me into their chest. "Shh, it's okay." A familiar voice soothed in my ear.

I blinked, calming down, and looked closer at the bodies that were huddled near the fire, vision becoming clearer. Everyone looked nervously at the trees and bushes behind us. Looking again, I saw we were under a bridge, darkness surrounding us. Checking behind me, I saw that it was Carol who was the one who pulled me to their chest, smiling at me. "It's okay. I got you." I relaxed further, not as tense as a moment ago, looking back in front of me. Trying to understand what the piercing noise was.  


Beth clung onto Herschel, looking terrified into the woods. “What was that?” I blinked at the question Beth asked, utterly lost on what was going on and rubbed my eyes with a disappointed groan. I was having a good sleep too. I turned around curling into Carol, trying to see if I could fall back to sleep anytime soon again. She wrapped her arms to accommodate me, hands rubbing my back soothingly, letting me use her as a pillow.

Daryl's voice was heard above me and Carol, probably standing on guard. “Could be anything.” He told Beth.

“Could be a raccoon, could be a possum,” Daryl finished. I closed my eyes, listening to Carol’s heart beating erratically, not the typical soothing heartbeat, but it was better than whatever irritating noise woke me up.

“Walker,” added Glenn.

Carol’s voice rumbled in my ear. “We need to leave. What are we waiting for?” No, no leaving. I want to sleep. I groaned in annoyance, nuzzling my head into Carol’s neck now.

“Which way?” Glenn asked Carol. 

Maggie misunderstood the question. “It came from over there.”

Beth quickly agreed with Maggie, panic among the three spreading to one another, “Back from where we came.”

Rick’s voice thundered loud enough that it pulled me away from Carol’s neck, and the sandman's reach. “The last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark. We don't have the vehicles. No one's traveling on foot.” 

A branch snapped behind the woods again, Maggie jumping up from her seat, Carol twisting around in fear, grasping tightly to me. The others eyed the woods behind us with wary eyes, waiting for something to jump out. Daryl on the other hand spared a quick glance at the woods before brushing it off.

Hershel patted Beth’s arm, the one that was gripping him with enough force that he flinched, “Don't panic.” The advice was said for all to hear but Maggie shook her head, nervously jumping back and forth on the balls of her feet. 

“I'm not--I'm not sitting here, waiting for another herd to blow through. We need to move, now.” She said authoritatively, panic still heard clearly in her voice.

Rick’s voice held more power than hers, sounding far calmer and even. “No one is going anywhere.”

Carol’s head brushed the top of my head, looking over at Rick. “Do something!” she pleaded.

Rick snapped, “ I am doing something!” He looked directly at Carol before he turned his gaze to the others. “I'm keeping this group together, alive. I've been doing that all along, no matter what.” I blinked up in surprise, fully awake now. I never heard Rick yell before.

“I didn't ask for this. I killed my best friend for you people for Christ's sake!” He shouted his confession. It took a moment for me to realize what Rick said. Surprise filled me and it wasn't the kind when you got a new toy. I felt my eyes widen at the thought he killed Shane. He was mean and did scary things, but that didn’t mean he had to kill him. Right?

“You saw what he was like, how he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us. He staged the whole Randall thing, led me out to put a bullet in my back.” I went to pull Terry close to me but he wasn’t in my arms. Shane tried to kill Rick? 

“He gave me no choice. He was my friend, but he came after me.” Rick finished, face full of agony. The tears were trapped behind his lashes, face turning red.   


Carl was crying, looking at his dad as Lori held onto him, tears falling down her face too, leaning on her son. In my search for Terry, I saw everyone having a mix of reactions. Herschel looked grim at the confession and Beth looked as wide-eyed as I felt. Maggie and Glenn couldn’t look Rick in the eye and Daryl didn’t show much emotion. I couldn’t see Carol’s face.

Rick whispered, “My hands are clean.”

Rick turned around, looking away from everyone before he turned around again. “Maybe you people are better off without me. Go ahead. I say there's a place for us, but maybe--maybe it's just another pipe dream.” He laughed bitterly. “Maybe--maybe I'm fooling myself again. Why don't you--why don't you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard.”

He turned to the side, gesturing into the darkness. “Go on, there's the door. You can do better? Let's see how far you get. No takers?” He looked around at the campsite, eyes blazing, everyone avoiding his gaze now. “Fine. But get one thing straight--you're staying, this isn't a democracy anymore.” He walked off a bit from the group, trying to collect himself. 

I looked up at Carol, “Terry?” I asked quietly. Nervous that Rick will come back and yell some more. I don't like seeing Rick yell. She looked down at me with tears in her eyes, just as upset as the rest of the group. “Oh,” she sniffed, rubbing her eyes before any of the tears fell. “Terry is in the car, sweetie.”

“I’ll get ‘im, stay put.” Daryl walked off, not sparing a glance at anyone as he did. I watched as he disappeared into the darkness, the crackling fire and Carl’s sobs being the only thing making noise. I wiggled in Carol’s grasp, waiting for Daryl to come back with Terry. I quickly peeked over at Carl, the large hat hiding his face in Lori’s shoulder. 

“Why are you crying?” The question left my mouth before I realized it, confused. Carl’s blotchy face appeared from Lori’s shoulder glaring at me but I said something else before he blew up. “We’re safe here. You have your Mom and Dad. So why are you crying?”

“Why were you always crying like a baby?” He hissed back at me.

“ ‘Cause I was scared. Or someone died.” I answered back, ignoring the baby insult. “You can’t be scared. Your mom and dad are alive. That’s a good thing.” I told him.

“Well, Shane’s dead!” He turned around so fast that if Lori wasn’t holding onto him, he might have reached out to hit me. I tilted my head in confusion.

“But Rick said Shane tried to kill him. And Rick is your dad, not Shane.” I said slowly, unsure why he’s upset. The man who tried to kill his dad is dead instead. I would be happy my dad was alive. If my dad was a nice man like Rick anyway.

I felt something soft bop my head and I looked up to see Daryl with Terry in one hand. “No one asked you why you cried when you did,” he stated. “Not fair to ask him either. Can you control why you start crying?” He asked me. I shook my head, knowing that when I was really upset I would start crying anyway.

“Then let him cry. He’s a kid just like you.” Daryl finished as I grabbed onto Terry.

“Try to get some sleep,” Carol ordered quietly. 

I looked up at her. “I’m not sleepy anymore.”

“Sounds like a glass of warm milk would have done the trick here,” Herschel commented with a smile and I brightened at the idea.

“With a cookie,” I added, breaking Herschel and Glenn into hollow laughs. 

“I don’t think eating a cookie before bedtime is a good idea,” Carol told me with a smile. I pouted, burying my face into the back of Terry’s head.

“Dracula gave Mavis a cookie and a glass of milk before bedtime.” I countered. I didn’t notice the confused looks on the majority of the faces behind me as I stared at Carol. Maggie was the one to come into Carol’s defense.

“Well, Mavis was a vampire girl.” I looked over at Maggie, seeing she was sitting again by Glenn with a smile. “You, missy, are a human girl.”

“What is she on about?” Daryl asked the two women. Carol's eyes twinkled when she looked over at the hunter.

“Hotel Transylvania.” Both Maggie and Carol answered the man. That didn’t clear anything up for the man or the group that was out of the loop. No one but me noticed that Rick was standing behind Lori and Carl far more composed than before, except maybe Daryl. He saw everything.

“What is that?” the hunter asked confusion clearly on the man's face.

“The best movie, ever,” I answered him. “My favorite movie since Nightmare Before Christmas!”

“Nightmare Before Christmas?” Daryl looked at me. “Shouldn’t you like something girlier, like Cinderella?” I glared at the man, Carol chuckling at the previous conversation we had at the farm about girly things.  


“No!” Maggie shouted, startling those around her. “No Disney.”

“What’s wrong with Disney movies?” T-Dog asked, looking over at the short-haired brunette.

“Some of the kids at daycare called me a Disney Kid and when I looked it up, it’s ‘cause all of the moms and dads are missing, dead, or both,” I answered him. “Cinderella and Tarzan have a dead mom and dad. Simba’s dad is killed. Bambi’s mom is killed and his dad is never there.” I listed off before Carol stopped me there.

“No Disney.” She reiterated Maggie, catching onto the trail I was leading into. 

T-Dog looked wide-eyed at me for a moment. “Why did they call you a Disney Kid? That ain’t nice.”

I shrugged. “They always said mean things to me. I don’t look Spanish enough to be a Spanish kid. My hair was ugly long and now it’s short it’s too nappy. Lots of stuff, really.” 

Everyone was quiet, unsure of what to say before Carl broke it. “Is that why you got mad because I said you didn’t look Spanish?” I looked over at the tear-stained boy. I thought back to the first time he said it. I nodded, remembering how angry I was. “I’m not a fake.”

“Honey,” Lori cooed at me. “Just 'cause you don’t look like the typical Spanish person doesn’t mean you’re a fake.”

“And your hair isn’t nappy.” T-Dog threw in, likely feeling guilty when he said it jokingly. I looked at him with a frown, “I know you were teasing. You didn’t say it the same way.”

“That sheds some light on a few things,” Glenn muttered then glanced at me over the fire. “Since Terry is a bit dirty, you want me to find a bunny instead?” He offered, taking one look at the bloodstained, dirty, one-eyed triceratops, changing the top quickly.

I held Terry to me tightly, glaring over at him.“I’ll burn it in the fire if you even think about bringing me a dumb bunny.” Glenn looked startled, while the others were shocked, or in Daryl’s case, biting back a laugh. “That was dark…” T-Dog muttered.

“Bunnies are too girly?” Carol asked innocently. I looked up at her. “Number one girliest thing to ever have. A dumb bunny.”

“We are talking about a stuffed bunny, right?” Glenn asked Maggie, concerned. She shook her head, amused.

I looked over at him, confused. “Duh. I wouldn’t throw a real bunny into the fire. That’s mean.”

A few chuckles echoed around the fire before Herschel patted Beth’s arm. “Let’s try and get some sleep. No use in all of us being awake.”

“I’ll keep watch,” Daryl threw in before anyone had a chance. Rick nodded, “T, you take watch after Daryl, then Glenn, then me. Four hours at a time to give others a chance to rest. We’ll look for some gas before heading out once daylight hits.” Those mentioned nodded their heads before trying to find a spot to sleep. Carol tugged me in front of her, my back to her chest as I put Terry’s belly below my head. I didn’t fall asleep for a while. I think T-Dog was on shift when my eyes finally decided to go to sleep.

* * *

I held onto Lori’s hand as some of the men went into a house to check if the coast was clear. From both walkers and people. This was the third house in the week and we haven’t had any luck finding food. Soon, I would have to open up my bag because now we were going into what Mami called an emergency.

Rick’s head popped out from the door, the only signal we needed to know that it was okay to come in. Lori let go of my hand and turned around to grab stuff out of the cars that we scavenged over the week. Even though we didn’t find food, we did find plenty of thick blankets, bags, and clothes to keep us warm. Or clothes for the grown-ups at least. Carl and I had to wear sweaters for adults to keep us warm in the meantime.

I grabbed my dinobag from Glenn, waiting for anything else, just in case. He pulled out a thick blanket and gave it to me too, without a word. I turned around and started walking into the house, watching carefully around the blanket to not trip going up the stairs. Once I got into the house, I heard someone searching the kitchen. T-Dog was coming down the stairs when I turned to ask him, “Living room?”

T-Dog quickly pointed out a room and went out the door to help bring more of our stuff in, new shotgun in hand. I followed where T-Dog pointed and found the cozy room. The floor was carpeted so it wouldn't be as hard as the last house with the wooden floors. The couch wasn't leather and it had lots of pillows to decorate the ends which we can use to sleep with. Excitedly, I noticed it had a fireplace and wondered if we can have a fire to warm us up better. I felt someone stand next to me and saw it was Herschel. “Think we can have a fire in the fireplace?” I asked him.

The man looked at me, a beard starting to form on his face. “Maybe Rick will let us.” He answered diplomatically. I frowned, looking back at the fireplace. Lately, Rick has been a bit mean. I doubt he would say yes. “All you have to do is ask,” Herschel said once again, hinting.

I sighed, figuring that is the least I could do before an idea came to mind. “Well, the baby needs to be warm.” I put out there, looking up with big eyes at the older man. Herschel chuckled, lightly patting my face, before picking up what he put down towards the living room. I put the thick blanket down on the couch before heading to the kitchen to look for other hiding spaces for food. I got really good at that.

The person making all the noise in the kitchen was Daryl, opening all the cupboards to find plates and cups, pots, and pans. Letting him look there, I turned my attention to the door that was in the kitchen. It could be a basement or a pantry. Either way, it's a place for putting food. I opened the door to see it was a basement, the sunlight from the kitchen reaching only halfway down the stairs. Daryl didn’t pay much attention to what I was doing, looking under the kitchen sink just in case, muttering under his breath. Carefully, I went down the stairs, listening for any weird noises in the dark.

Blinking, I got used to the little light after a while, not moving from the bottom of the stairs until I was. I reached into my back pocket, pulling out my slingshot, putting Terry at the bottom of the stairs. I started moving, pulling out a pebble, and loaded it. Just in case I needed to use it. I heard the footsteps of everyone moving upstairs as I looked at the walls, looking for cans. Scanning the floor, it wasn't any different than the bare walls I was seeing. Just some beach chairs, umbrella, and what I'm guessing to be a hammock. Not seeing anything useful, I was about to turn around to look at the rest of the basement when a hand tugged on my backpack hard. 

Heart racing, I let out a strangled scream that didn’t get far. Not wanting to get bit or hurt, I kicked behind me, landing a hit to the shin when a familiar voice growled out. 

“‘Ey!”

“Daryl,” I groaned, glaring up at the man. “You scared me!”

“What are ya doin’ here? Ya supposed to be in the living room.” He pointed upstairs, looking down at me sternly.

“Looking for food before-” he cut me off with a pointed finger in my direction. I blinked up at him, waiting for him to say something else, waiting for the scolding. Instead, he just looked at me with cold eyes and that was worse than being yelled at. Without another word, he motioned for me to go up the stairs. I did what he said, grabbing Terry on my way up the stairs, pouting the whole way. I left the basement door open even though I wanted to slam it shut behind me, but that wouldn’t be nice.

I entered the living room, sitting next to Maggie who was looking at the shotgun T-Dog found earlier, taking off my backpack waiting for Daryl to come up the stairs. A gentle tug on my hair had me looking up at Maggie. “Where did you run off to?”

I pouted up at her. “I tried looking for food in the basement because it's been seven days and that means it's an emergency if we don’t. But Daryl made me come back upstairs instead.” Two sets of boots thudded behind me, knowing the quieter set of footsteps to be Daryl. I looked up to see both Rick and Daryl finally come to the living room, Glenn and T-Dog were on watch by the windows. 

“Any luck?” Carl hoped, looking at both men. Neither one said anything. Rick took a seat and Daryl leaned against the wall, taking the crossbow off his shoulder, with an almost permanent frown that never seemed to leave his face. The disappointment was loudly heard in the room. Everyone avoided looking directly at another, focusing either on a task or on their hands. The only sound was the frustrated sigh that left Rick's lips.  


“We’re going to need to find food. Real food with a variety of vitamins and minerals. The baby can’t survive on squirrels alone.” Herschel solemnly reminded the group. ”Even now, they’re getting hard to find with winter coming.”

Frowning, I took off my backpack, zipping it open. The first thing I took out was the bottle of water I shared with everyone. When I first took out the large bottle I let them know not to get past two black lines. That would be enough water for everyone since we were a big group. I got a few smiles at that but it wasn’t a joke. At least they listened. 

After the bottle, were my clothes, which confused everyone in the group. “Honey,” Carol was the one to say something first. “Why are you taking your clothes out, we might need to move quickly.”

“But Herschel said the baby needs to eat and like I was saying, this counts as an emergency,” I replied as I pulled out the last shirt, tossing it on the floor with the others. I missed the looks of confusion that slowly turned into ones of surprise or disbelief as the cans rattled in my bag. Before anyone else said something, I grabbed one of the large cans I knew to be frijoles, leaving the bag there as I walked over to Lori with the can. “Mami says frijoles are an important part of one's diet.”

Lori reached for the can, brown eyes dilated, mouth moving to say something without anything coming out. Carl sitting next to her didn't look much different except he was focused on the large can of black frijoles, mouth likely watering.

“Cielo,” Maggie’s voice was in disbelief, looking down into my bag. “How much food do you have in here?” She looked back up at me as I frowned over at her.

“I don’t know. My bag is the emergency bag. In case I got lost, or we couldn’t find food after a long week, we didn’t touch the bag. It’s been a week and Lori’s baby needs more food, so it’s an emergency.” I answered her as she started taking all the food out of the bag.

She laughed, “You have beans, vienna sausages, green peas,” she held another can in disbelief. “Pineapples?!”

“There are flat noodle things in there, too,” I told her. 

“You were carrying that in there, this whole time?” Rick asked me. I looked up at Rick, he looked mad. Shane mad. I reached out for Lori, leaning towards her as I didn’t take my eyes off Rick. Lori must have realized I was scared because she wrapped an around my stomach. 

“Rick,” Lori’s voice was stern, “she was following the rules her Mama told her.” Her gaze left Rick’s to look at me, “Isn’t that right?”

I nodded, leaning against Lori, nervous to look away from Rick. A quick sharp whistle caught all of our attention to Daryl across from Rick, who tapped his leg. Seeing the invite for what it was, I quickly abandoned Lori’s grip and ran over to Daryl, clutching onto him instead. I tried hiding as much as I could behind the leg, keeping Rick in view. “Quit scarin’ her.”

Rick glanced down at me, realizing what he did, and he rubbed his eyes with force before running the hand down his face. “Sorry, Cielo,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You looked like Shane,” I mumbled into Daryl’s leg, but it was loud enough in the quiet room. He froze up in shock. No one else said anything for a moment before a large hand cupped my head. I looked up, giving Daryl a chance to poke my cheek. “Next time he looks like Shane, hit him between the eyes with the slingshot.”

I leaned my chin against his leg, frowning, “I don’t have the rubber ones anymore.”

Daryl grinned, “Then hit him with a rock.”

I grinned back, looking up at the scruffy-bearded man before nothing but darkness filled my vision. I pulled back in shock when he pushed my hair over my eyes. “Daryl!” That brought a few chuckles in the room, lighting up the tension that was in the room.

I pushed my hair back, glaring up at him, but he still had a grin. “How about we make a new rule? Huh?” I blinked up at him in response. 

“From now on, you let us know when you have food. That way, everyone knows how much food we do and don’t need.” Daryl leaned against the wall, crossing his arms, waiting for my response.

“That’s fair,” I shrugged. The next thing I heard had my hiding behind Daryl’s leg again.    


“Is this our can opener?”


	13. Bubblegum...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!  
> As usual, any faults found in here are my own as I reread and fix up before posting.  
> Thank you for the Kudos and Comments!  
> Figured to remind everyone the only thing I will own in this entire story is Cielo and any character I make after, no matter what is mentioned.

The next day, after having bellies filled with pasta and more squirrel meat, there were plans put into place to find a store with better clothing for the upcoming winter coming around the corner. The thin sweaters that we currently were wearing weren’t going to be warm enough in the next coming weeks. Even the thick sweaters aren’t meant to withstand long periods of time of freezing weather. I was upstairs in the hallway, looking through the kid books the house had but frowned as all I kept finding were picture books. Squirming, I shifted to the side and pulled off my shoes, wiggling my toes in relief.

“Daryl?” I called out to the man who was in one of the rooms, down the hall. His head poked out from the room, seeing me sitting in the same spot as he left me. I lifted my shoes, “I think I need bigger shoes. My toes hurt.”

“We’ll take a look when we get to the store.” He acknowledged my little dilemma. Then his gaze shifted at the pile of books I pulled off the small shelf in the hallway. “Find anything good?”

“No,” I sighed. “Bunch of picture books of Cat In the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, or some Disney book. Rest of it looks like grown-up stuff.” 

He just looked at the pile before coming over, messing around with a shirt in his hand, kneeling next to me. I waited for him to prove my point, there were either picture books, or some complicated grown-up book on the shelves when he pulled one out. “Here.”

I took the book, looking at the title with some interest. “What does a wardrobe have anything to do with a lion or witch?” I blinked up at him. He just tapped my cheek.

“Read it.”

I grinned at him before excitedly looking at the book. He took a quick look inside my shoe, with a frown. “What size are these?”

I looked up, knowing the number was worn out. “Thirteen.” He nodded, getting back up putting my shoe back on the floor next to me. “And Daryl,” I called to him before he disappeared into the room, “nothing girly, please.” He shot me a look.

“Anything else?” he growled out, starting to get a bit peeved. I blinked up at him then a smirk crept onto my face. “A stuffed bat.”

* * *

The group got into the car, Cielo watching from the living room window with a frown on her face. Maggie shook her head at the image as Rick drove off in the truck, heading toward the nearest store. The car ride was silent between the three people in the car. The only sound was Daryl’s motorcycle roaring down the street, attracting a few walkers. Thankfully, walkers aren't fast enough to catch up to the moving vehicles. A sudden grip on her hand had Maggie looking down to see Glenn’s hand in hers, glancing up to see him smiling at her, which she returned easily. Letting out a content sigh, Maggie squeezed Glenn’s hand once before looking out the window behind him, seeing the large store building in mind. 

The car was parked, everyone leaving or getting off of their vehicles, staring at the store in front of them. Maggie cautiously pulled the small handgun she grabbed on her way out in front of her, in case there were any surprises. Daryl and Rick were the first two to go up to the store, windows shattered. Rick leaned down, picking up a shard of glass before tossing it in, heard the shard break into millions of pieces. The immediate response of snarls was heard. “Not many.”

Daryl was the first to go in, crossbow being silent compared to a gun. Rick followed after the man with Glenn bringing up the rear. The unmistakable sound of a body falling was followed immediately by another. Glenn glanced up to see Rick removing his machete from the walkers head, trying to pinpoint where the remaining groans were coming from. Daryl spotted the third walker, quickly ending the raspy moan that is emitted from its mouth before there was just silence throughout the store.

“Check for stragglers. Glenn and Maggie, to the right. Daryl and I will go left, we’ll meet in the middle.” Rick directed, everyone turning to their respective side. It wasn’t long before they met in the middle of the store without any further trouble. Maggie put the safety back on and put the gun away, the others doing the same with their respective weapons. “I’ll go grab a cart, fill it up as we go.”

“Good idea,” Glenn commented, going with her to grab a cart.

Neither had to go far as it seemed that shopping carts were seemingly abandoned around the store. They both pilfered through the full ones, removing useless items. Glenn shook a bag of M&M’s towards Maggie with a grin, “Sweet.”

She chuckled, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before heading towards the clothing section. Glenn pushed his cart towards the Bath section instead. Scanning for anything to help out with a quick bath, even if it meant wetting a washcloth alone. The river was still nearby, so they lucked out on that for the time being.

Maggie was checking the size of a winter jacket when she heard Daryl call over to her from the shoe section. She looked up to see him holding up a small red canvas sneaker with an undistinguished pattern from afar. “This girly to ya?”

“Cielo hates pink and flowers. Avoid anything with sparkles on them just in case.” Maggie replied, hoping that would help the quiet man. 

“Half this shit has pink or sparkles on them!” He growled out, throwing the shoe back. Maggie chuckled walking over to see if she can help him find something. Turning the corner, her grin faded as the man wasn’t lying. The majority of the closed-toed shoes were either pink, had pink, or some form of sparkling glitter. 

“Well,” she started, looking up at the surly man, “who said that they had to be girl shoes. Boy’s are the same size when they’re kids.” She looked back at him. “Right?”

He scowled, grabbing the red floral shoes from before. “Put these in the cart.” He said before checking over the boy's section. Maggie looked at the red shoes, walking back to her cart with a small smile. She put them in the cart and went back to looking at the size of a black winter coat. The next time she looked up was when she was in the kid's section looking for winter clothing when Daryl threw in a pair of boots. “Next time, I’m just grabbing the first pair I see in her size.”

Rick came over, a small handful of trail mixes sitting atop of a pack of water bottles. “Should have grabbed a cart.” He joked, putting his small collection in Maggie’s cart. He quickly glanced down and noticed the pair of shoes. “If she grew out her shoes that means she grew out of her clothes too. Don’t think she’ll need two pairs though.”

Daryl grumbled but Maggie was the one to answer. “We’re not sure if the sizes are the same when they’re kids. So the one with flowers is the girl's pair and the boots are a boys pair. If the boots don’t fit, she’s stuck with the red ones.”

Rick looked at the shoes, confused. “What’s wrong with the red ones?”

“They have flowers on them.” Maggie smiled up at the former sheriff. He shook his head, chuckling in disbelief.

“That kid sure is something. How did her mom keep up with her?”

“I’m sure she had help.” Maggie answered pulling a thermal shirt off a hanger and into the cart.

“Sure wasn’t from her daddy.” Daryl spat out. Glenn came over with his cart filled with bars of soap and another pack of bottled water, confused about what he was walking in on. 

Maggie frowned as she looked at another size. “No,” she whispered. “Her daddy was not happy when she was at her Grandma’s house. So he definitely wasn’t around.”

Glenn caught on to who they were talking about. “Wait, he went to the Grandma’s house?”

Maggie sighed, looking up at the men. “Dad overheard her telling Lori that her Grandma tried to show her off, I guess to see what an amazing little girl she is. Invited him over one day when she was sleeping over. He wasn’t happy and told her that she was no Sheppard. Who knows how old she was when that happened.”

“So he saw her and said she wasn’t his kid?” Glenn asked Maggie.

“Well,” Maggie sighed, “sadly, that isn’t the first case of it happening. Some kids missed out on having a parent and the other picks up the slack. Cielo is one of them.”

It was silent amongst the group before Rick broke it with a small grin. “Lori told me of a moment back on the farm. How she thought Cielo’s head was hurting. She went and told Lori ‘If this is what grown-ups deal with, I think I like to stay a kid for a long time.’ like she had the world on her shoulders.” Everyone had cracked a smile at that.

Maggie looked at the pair of shoes in the cart. “She’s precious.” 

“She’s trouble.” Daryl threw in, eyes glinting with a small smile.

“That too.” Rick’s grin got bigger. He looked at the two carts and stood up straight. “Let’s finish up around here and head out. I'm going to finish raiding the employee's room.” He tapped the carts and went off to search through the room some more. Maggie just turned to Darly with a smirk.

“If you think she’s trouble now, wait till Bambi’s a teenager.”

Glenn laughed as he followed Rick, avoiding the glare the hunter threw Maggie’s way of the picture of a teenage Cielo. Daryl didn’t move for a bit, and shuffled forward, looking at the floor before asking his question. “Do you know if she hates being called Bambi ‘cause of the whole dead momma thing?” 

Maggie looked up in surprise at the sudden change of topics. Her brow furrowed before answering, “She thinks you did her mom a favor from stopping her from being a monster. I don’t think she hates being called Bambi because of that. She’s smart enough to see the cruel irony about being called Bambi. I think it’s just because it’s Disney related.”

Daryl nodded, unsure if that was a consolation or not. Maggie took a closer look at the hunter, “What I can tell you is that little girl adores you. She doesn’t give anyone as much sass and cheek as she does you.” With that said, a grinning Maggie pushed the cart to look for other winter items such as scarves and gloves, leaving the man with his thoughts.

* * *

I twisted the curl that slipped the hair tie, slowly reading the book Daryl gave me earlier, trying to fully understand what is being said. It looked to be fancy English. I kinda understood what was happening after rereading a paragraph. It was slow reading but good reading. Carl was doing his own reading of comic books upstairs. A quiet truce between the two of us came into place over the week. Soft footsteps came into the living room, “Whatcha reading?” 

I answered Carol without looking up. “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.” I replied, finishing up the sentence I was reading before looking up. She hid the surprise with a smile.

“So what are you thinking so far?”

I scrunch my nose, sitting up after laying down on the carpeted floor for a long time. “The English is weird but I just read it slowly and reread the paragraph. So far, I like it. Just wish it wasn’t so weird to read.”

“To be fair, that book was written by an English writer in the 1950s who was born before the 1900s. They spoke a little bit different then.” Carol pursed her lips. I looked at the book in shock. It was that old?

“That’s probably as old as Herschel,” left my lips instead. Wide-eyed, I looked at both the adults who burst out laughing. “Don’t tell him I said that! I don’t want to make him feel old!“

That gave them a new burst of laughter. Horrified, I looked at both of them, not wanting Herschel to come in and ask what was so funny. “Guys!” I hissed, feeling absolutely mortified. T-Dog had tears in his eyes with how hard he was laughing. Letting out deep breaths of air, trying to compose himself but he bellowed out another hard laugh, not keeping watch anymore. Carol had an easier time of collecting herself, cheeks red, wiping tears from her eyes as well. “Stop it!”

Beth was the one to stick her head into the room at the sudden burst of laughter first. I groaned in misery. If Beth was here Herschel won’t be too far behind her. I got up from the floor, grabbing my book, “I’m going to find Carl!” 

I ran past the two women, nearly sliding in my shoeless state, and up the stairs before Herschel and Lori could appear into the living room. I quickly rushed to the closed door that I knew Carl was reading in and opened it before slamming the door shut behind me. Carl was laying on the bed, staring at me wide eyes before scowling my way. “What are you doing here?”

“Hiding,” I replied, face feeling as red as I felt embarrassed. “I said something out loud that was supposed to be in my head.”

That piqued his interest. “What did you say?” He closed the comic book that he was reading and focused his attention on me, sitting up on the bed.

“Carl,” I started, calmly, “if I’m running to hide in here, why would I say something so embarrassing again?”

“Because you’re running to hide in here.” He countered. I narrowed my eyes on the older boy. He’s smarter than Gabriel. I will give him that. I bit my bottom lip debating, trying to see how this works in my favor after embarrassing myself a second time. An idea came to mind and a smirk crept onto my face.

“I’ll tell you,” I walked up to the cautious boy, “only if you let me hide in whatever room you’re in without snitching on me.” He went to say something but I quickly stopped him there. “And you let me read the comics, too,” I added. 

Carl just narrowed his eyes at the idea of me touching his comics. I leaned over, hands behind my back, grinning. “What’s it gonna be, Carl?” I felt like those evil characters in the cartoons. Giving the good guy a deal that wasn’t in their best interests but one of the lesser evils if they don’t. Carl loved his comics too much.

He looked me up and down, before shrugging and hopped off the bed. “Fine,” I stood upright in surprise, blinking as he finished. “It’s a deal.” He reached a hand out to shake.

Pouting, I reached out with one hand, figuring I get two things out of this entire thing. He grasped my hand and shook it a few times before pulling it away. “Now, spill.”

I huffed at him. He didn’t waste any time. “I was talking to Carol about this book and she told me how long ago it was written.” I showed him the book, in case he heard about it, but the look he gave it told me he didn’t. I opened my mouth again when he interrupted me. “That’s what’s embarrassing?”

I glared, “Well, Carl, if you let me finish.” He just rolled his eyes, going back to sitting on the bed, waiting for me to finish. “When Carol told me that the book was written in 1950, I may have said that the book is as old as Herschel,” I muttered. Carl just looked at me, waiting for the punchline.

“So,” he asked. “He is old.”

I gaped at him. “Just cause he is doesn’t mean I want him to feel old! What if he’s younger than the book?” I hissed at him. Carl just shrugged, picking up a comic book again. 

”You’re just overthinking things.” Carl calmly replied. I went to say something else before my entire face turned red. Too afraid to look behind me.

“Well, I think Cielo is being extremely considerate for this old man.” Herschel’s voice interjected. Carl shot up from his spot on the bed, turning red with embarrassment, eyes wider than I’ve seen them be. I bit my bottom lip, turning around slowly to see an amused Herschel looking at the both of us. “Your mother wanted me to let you know that she expects you to do some schoolwork with her down in the kitchen.”

His eyes drifted between both of us before leaving the door to the room open. Horrified, I turned to a red-faced Carl with a hiss. “Still think it’s me overthinking?” 

“Shut up!” He hissed back at me, hopping off the bed once again to follow Herschel down the stairs to Lori. I turned to the bed, too terrified of seeing Herschel’s face anytime soon. Of all the times I feel like falling into a hole, now would be it. I jumped up, pulling the covers down and hiding under it. Maybe I’ll feel less horrified if I stay hidden here for a little bit.

I didn’t have the luxury of staying under the covers before the door was pushed wider and a body sat at the end of the bed. “Cielo,” Carol started but I didn’t want to hear it.

“No, let me stay here a little longer.” I groaned, digging my face into the pillow.

“Oh, Bambi,” she chuckled. “Herschel isn’t mad at you. He thinks it’s funny.” She patted my back through the sheets. “He also thought that you were adorable trying to not make him feel so old.” I stuck my head out from under the sheet, narrowed eyes on the smiling woman.

“That’s not funny.” I pouted. I felt a tap to my nose and blinked in shock.

“Just a little.” She countered. “Now, let’s go. Rick and the others just got back. Let’s see what they found for us.”

Sighing, I pushed the blankets off, sliding onto the floor before walking towards the stairs leaving the book in the room. The sounds of items rustling as they shifted from one pair of hands to another got louder the closer I got to the bottom of the stairs. By the time I did, Glenn had shut the door behind him, ruffling my hair in greeting. “Glenn, my hair.”

“Since when was six going on seventeen?” Maggie asked me, pulling a curl playfully. Carol didn’t miss a beat. “Since she decided that your Dad is as old as Narnia.”

“Oh, my god,” I looked at Carol. “Stop.” I looked around the room to see a few people noticing the interaction between the three of us but thankfully, Herschel was one of the few looking at the supplies brought in. My eyes zeroed in on the quiet man who saw everything around him. I walked over to get away from Carol, who clearly was in a much better mood since the graveside incident. 

I glanced at the pile of goods to eat before I saw two pairs of shoes in front of me. “Now, I don’t wanna hear about the flowers if they’re the only pair that fit your feet. Clear?” I nodded, scrutinizing the red sneakers with the flowers he was talking about. If I had no choice, these weren’t the worst pair of shoes with flowers. If you don't look closely, you can’t even notice that they’re flowers. I grabbed both shoes and sat on the floor, trying on the dark boots, hoping that these would fit after the day that I had.

I tied the shoelaces before walking in a circle, feeling relieved that there is plenty of room in these shoes. It was heavier than my old sneakers but I could learn to live with it. I smiled up at Daryl, who was biting the skin on his thumb, “They fit perfect, thank you!”

He nodded before turning to the pile of clothes that were being sorted. “Maggie has something to tell ya.”

Confused, I looked up at the green-eyed women to see she was staring at Daryl in disbelief. I stared at her until she looked down at me with a strained smile. My eyes squinted at that. She must have noticed I already was going to call her bluff when she changed tactics. “Remember how Daryl said he didn’t want to hear you complain about the flowers because it was your only size?”

“Well, the boots fit just fine so I don’t have to wear them,” I responded.

“See, I couldn’t find any winter coats in your size except one.” Maggie quickly walked over to the pile of clothing before she pulled out the coat meant for me. The day really wasn’t going my way whatsoever. My head turned over to Daryl, silently begging him to tell me now if it’s a joke. The man did nothing but stare at the monstrosity that Maggie pulled.

“Nope,” the words came out of my mouth, “I would freeze before putting that thing on. Not happening.”

“It really was the only size left for you.” Glenn tried to help Maggie. I turned to the man in disbelief.

“I’ll look like a giant cloud of cotton candy!” I gestured to the pink puffer jacket. I didn’t stop there, “A huge piece of bubblegum! A pink Michelin man!”

“Okay, now you’re just exaggerating.” Lori grabbed the puff jacket, stuffing me in it against my will. “See, you look fine.”

Dejectedly, I looked over at Carl, “Bubblegum or Cotton candy?”

“Bubblegum.” He cringed, holding onto his navy blue winter coat. Lori sent an exasperated look at Carl before looking back at me. With my verdict clear, I looked up at Lori. "I'm a bubblegum."

"A very cute bubblegum." Rick tossed out.

Glancing over at the man who was mad at me just the night before, I said nothing. All I could do was stare. I quickly went to take off the obnoxiously pink coat and handed it back to Lori. "Hate it." I threw out one last time.

"You're wearing it, end of story," Daryl's tone clearly saying to stop. 

I looked up at him, "You probably found something without sleeves." The man glared half-heartedly at me. I narrowed my eyes at that. "You did, didn't you!" I exclaimed. 

T-Dog let out a chuckle. "She got you there. Is it that ugly ass orange poncho?" I looked over to see the poncho in question scrunched my nose in distaste. 

"Well, at least you're wearing something as ugly as me," I stated, before being lifted off the ground. A squeal escaped my lips as I felt an arm hang me upside down, seeing the ground I was just standing on above my head. Before I even said a thing, I felt a pinky poke my side and a squeak escaped my lips as I flinched away. My wide eyes focused on the faces in front of me, even upside down, I could see some smirks.

"Daryl?" I asked apprehensively. I sat up to see one of those smirks plastered on his face. The hand he poked me with freely hanging next to my side. My eyes darted between his hand and his face. "Mercy?" I asked. 

"Nope." Then he started the attack. He didn't stop no matter how many times I begged for mercy. The one to stop the vicious tickling was Rick. Who in my opinion didn't order it sooner! "Alright, alright, before the walkers hear her."

I sat up with a grunt, latching my arms around Daryl's neck. "Not cool, Daryl!" I pouted as he helped me right-side-up. He snorted at that. "Ya live," He uttered instead.

"Yes, but what do I get for my suffering?" I retorted, face red and sides hurting from laughing so hard. His head snapped over with narrowed eyes, scoffing at me. A quiet "Oh, my God" was heard in front of us.

Daryl opened his mouth to say something when Glenn threw in, "Some M&Ms?" 

My head snapped over to Glenn, holding on to the holy grail of sweets in his hand. "Accepted!" I shouted, trying to reach over but Daryl was holding on tightly. I frowned looking over at him but the first thing I saw was a finger in my face before he looked over at Glenn. "Don't encourage her," he stated.

"But Daryl-" I whined. He turned his eyes to look over at me to accompany the finger. I sighed, looking back at the large bag of candy with longing. Daryl put me on the floor gently. "She's getting too fresh," He defended himself. Feeling the need to point out why I wasn't getting the bag of candy. 

"Can I have it?" Carl turned to ask Rick, who smiled over at Lori. I glared over at the audacity the older boy had to ask for something he knew I couldn't have. Lori looked down at her son. "Absolutely not. We'll all eat M&Ms when everyone is allowed to."

Carl gaped while I grinned, happy to hear that I will have a chance. "But she was getting the whole bag!" He whined.

I felt a tug on my hair and I looked up to see Daryl scowling at me. The grin disappeared and I leaned into his leg, hiding half my face in it, blinking owlishly up at him. Seeming pleased, Daryl looked back at the haul they brought in. "How long will the food we got last us now?" 

I leaned my head against Daryl’s leg, listening to the grown-ups talk about rationing and plans to move to another house soon. My eyes moved over to the fireplace, which is just there, ignored by all in the room. Interrupting the conversation, I looked over at Rick, “Hey Rick?”

He glanced over at me and I clutched a little bit to the back of Daryl’s pants. “Can we use the fireplace? That way we can all be warm.” I blinked up at him. 

Rick smiled at me. “We’ll see. Don’t need to blink those eyes at me.”

My narrowed eyes quickly darted to the man who ruined it all. 

* * *

Daryl scanned the street out in front of him, seeing the walkers ambling aimlessly through the streets. He heard a pair of footsteps walking up to him before taking a seat on the bed close by. He spared a quick glance at the demure woman before looking back out.

"Anything going on out there?" She asked.

"What you want. It ain't about walkers." Daryl cut to the chase, knowing she wasn't up here simply for that. She was on watch just before him.

She smiled, "Bambi, she's a smart little thing. Reading The Lions, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by herself," She started.

"T was right. She's smarter than she looks. No point in babying her." Daryl pointed out before adding an afterthought. "Fresh, too."

Carol lightly laughed. "Should've seen her face when she said Herschel was as old as the book. I don't think I laughed that hard in a long time. She ran out of the room as fast as she could. Found her hiding under the covers when Herschel heard her and Carl talk about how old he is." 

Daryl chortled, shaking his head, not saying anything else on the topic knowing that Carol tends to circle around what she really wanted to talk about. It was silent between the two for a moment before Carol found the courage to say something. "Reason why I'm up here is because I think she needs to know how to defend herself." 

Daryl looked over at her, stupefied. "She's six! What she needs to know is to listen to what we tell her and that's it." His body tense in anger, trying not to lash out at the quiet woman.

Carol pursed her lip. "I'm saying we should show her something other than the slingshot. Because I wish I did it with Sophia. She had weeks to learn how before she-" Carol stopped there. Daryl felt all the tension leave, starting to understand where she was coming from now.

Carol tried again. "If I took the chance to let someone teach her how to use a gun or even how to hold a knife, she might still be here." She took a deep breath before standing up, patting her legs. She went to leave but turned around to look back at him. "You're doing great with her so far."


	14. Tuck Everlasting...isn't so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Here is the weekly update just a bit late. 
> 
> Currently debating on how to go after the Governor arrives the second time to the prison. Do I separate Cielo completely from the group till Alexandria or let her run into someone....honestly...I like both routes...

I let out a sigh as someone shook me awake, letting me know it's time to get up. Groaning, I stretched out, toes curling. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw Beth smile down at me. "C'mon, time to get up."

"I'm coming." I mumbled, not pleased with the early wake-up. I sat up and sleepily checked the room, seeing Carl was being woken up from his corner of the living room. I gripped Terry under the covers as I sat up, in no rush to get out from the warm cocoon I made, slowly rising, blanket and all. I walked over to Lori and Carol, who were both handing out food on the disposable plates.

Carol was the first to see me. "Cielo, how are you going to eat wrapped up like that?" I blinked up at her realizing that she was right. I can't hold the blanket closed and Terry at the same time with a plate. Sighing, I walked back to my spot and dropped the blanket there, surprised at the lack of cold air. Walking back, I realized that Rick let us use the fireplace. If I was more awake, I would be ecstatic to have a small fire going in there, but I know we're leaving the house after breakfast. It won’t be a repeat.

I went back to Carol, waiting for her to finish putting food on Herschel's plate first, gripping onto his hand briefly. "Morning, Herschel." 

He looked down with a smile, the scruffy beard all the men -but Glenn- was starting to fill in more. "Morning, Cielo. Good to see you out of that cocoon." I looked back at my blanket longingly. 

"It was comfy," I stated, turning to look at Carol who was now handing me a plate. "Thank you." I felt a pat on the head before walking off towards the sofa where T-Dog was eating his plate. I mumbled a morning at him as I leaned against his leg, taking the first bite of the vienna sausage that was probably cooked over the fire. The first time I did this to someone, it confused Maggie, but I told her it made me feel safe. No one else questioned it again. After the walker pulled me by my backpack back at the farm, it scares me to think something or someone can sneak up on me again. Knowing that someone I know was behind me made me feel safe.

Growling, I stabbed through a few frijoles with the fork after a few unsuccessful tries of scooping them up. T-Dog chuckled, “Want a spoon?” I shook my head, not wanting to give up again just yet. I stabbed another few after another unsuccessful attempt. “I gotta get it before I turn seven,” I mumbled.

“When you turn seven?” Glenn overheard. After another try, I got two frijoles on my fork, happy with my minor success. 

“February,” I answered, trying another successful attempt. Maybe I got the hang of it- nevermind. I sighed as the frijoles fell off the fork, slightly startled to see a spoon appear midair. Glancing up, I saw Daryl handing me the spoon. “Eat up, we’re leaving in a bit.” I didn’t argue with the man and started eating with the spoon instead, knowing I still had to pack up my stuff. “I’ll eat frijoles on a fork the next time,” I muttered to myself, making a vow.

“You can call them beans, you know.” Carl’s sounded perplexed at my choice of saying frijoles instead of beans. I glanced over at him, finishing up my last bite of frijoles, seeing him frown in my direction as he went to eat a piece of the vienna sausage. “Frijoles for life,” I told him, earning a chuckle from the man behind me. I got up, turning around to take T-Dog’s empty plate, and went to the kitchen where I tossed the forks and spoon into the sink out of habit. On the way out, I threw the plates into a nearly overfilled garbage bin to go pack up my stuff.

After the store raid, I had to toss out some old clothes that Carol said were too small for me, making room for the thin sweaters for the upcoming winter. Can’t really complain. I got fuzzy green socks out of the deal. 

Getting back to my spot, I saw that everything was already packed, Terry placed neatly on top of my dino bag, hideous puff jacket against it. Looking around, I saw everyone was already wearing or in the process of putting on their winter coats. I put mine on, frowning as I zipped up the monstrosity without another word. My feelings about it were well known. I quickly opened my bag to see how things were put away and was happy to see the book was on top.

“Ready to go?” Rick asked, double-checking the living room for anything that may be left behind. He had a few affirmations before he turned to go out the front, others filing out behind him carrying items. I lifted my backpack with a grunt, hearing some cans and plastic rustling around noisily. Yeah, next time I’m packing the bag my way.

I followed the others, being guided to the car I’ve been in since we’ve been house hopping. I took off my bag and set it in front of me, waiting for the others to sit in the backseat with me. Glenn got in the driver's seat this time around with T-Dog in the passenger seat. Maggie and Carol got in the back with me. With the rumble of an engine, we were off to our next destination.

* * *

I was outside with Daryl, staring at the frozen walker nervously, gripping tightly on the knife. Sometime last week, Daryl told me I was going to learn how to kill a walker just in case I get separated from everyone. A thought, he says, he was throwing around in his head for a few weeks. Carl came along with us, more than ready to show that he was capable of being able to put down a walker, with Rick’s blessing. Lori wasn’t happy but I know she and Rick were arguing about something. Staying in one house, you can’t miss any disagreements without hearing bits and pieces. Beth took me and Carl to play with the snow out in the yard one day when it got really bad, so we couldn’t hear anything.

Daryl crossed his arms, waiting for me to gather my nerves to make the move he has shown me to practice on the frozen being. Taking in a deep breath, sharp cold air filling my lungs, I let it out as I walked forward. I kicked hard at the walker’s knees, seeing it shatter like glass, before quickly twisting to the side, stabbing at the falling head. The knife caved in a portion of the walker’s skull but the good thing about it being winter right now is that there is no mushy brain goo or terrible smell. The walker fell the rest of the way, falling flat on its face. 

I glanced up at Daryl, who nodded in approval. “Better than last time.” I winced at the last time when the frozen walker was falling towards me. I didn’t move fast enough and came face to face with what would have been a teeth-gnashing, snarling face ripping me to shreds with its fingers as a bonus. I’m not looking forward to when the walkers are moving around again. I looked at the knife I was given, happy to see it was clean before sliding it back in the sheath. The snow crunched underneath my boots as I walked over to Daryl, reaching into my coat pockets for gloves. I don’t know how he managed with just a poncho. 

“I can’t wait till we can practice on moving ones,” Carl uttered, clearly bored as he was staring at the walker I practiced on.

“I’m not,” I muttered quietly, but the puff of air betrayed the words that left my lips. I couldn’t erase the image of the walker that nearly got me in the tall grass. Carl must have heard me and scoffed which I turned my glare over to him. “I get why we’re learning but it doesn’t make it less scary to me!”

Carl just looked at me without another word, likely giving me some leeway in his mind. “Wait till you can practice with guns. You’ll probably feel better with that than a knife.” He conceded. I nodded as the teenage boy started walking off in a direction in hopes of finding another frozen walker. Daryl didn’t need to say anything as he started following the moody boy, knowing I’ll be right behind him.

Over the last month, Carl hasn’t been as nasty to me but I guess he knew what the argument was about better than I did since he’s been meaner to Lori. He’s just been so moody, snapping at random things before apologizing for the really dumb stuff. It’s only ‘cause of him that I was even allowed to practice with the frozen walkers. Most of the group didn’t like the idea of me being here now, learning, but Carl argued for me with Carol after Daryl brought it up. I still think it’s because he could, later on, argue that if I was learning, why couldn’t he do the same to Rick and Lori. Because look at where we are now, just a week later, after Daryl saying so.

Carl found a walker that seemed to have been dragging itself along the floor. Without a break to his stride, he walked up to the walker and stabbed it in the head, looking for the next one. “Hey,” Daryl called out. Carl stopped looking over his shoulder. Daryl turned his body towards me. “Let’s start heading back, that’s good for the day.” I hid the glee at the idea of going back to the house. Look too excited and Carl will be a grump to me for the rest of the day. Carl looked like he wanted to argue but did what he was told either way, likely thinking it through. If he argued he might not be lucky to come back and practice. I on the other hand tried not to skip on my way back.

The walk to the house was quiet, wind picking up ruthlessly, slamming into my face. I pulled up the scarf to cover up to my nose, not liking how the air I breathed in was stopped by the shock of icy air. I wasn’t a fan of that choked feeling. Both Carl and Daryl acted as if the sudden cold air blown into their faces didn’t faze them, even with red noses to betray them. Seeing the house we were camped at brought immediate feelings of relief. I wanted to run up to it but knew if I even was five feet out of reach, Daryl would be displeased.

We went around to the back six houses over, to make it look like the house was uninhabited from the front, due to the snow on the ground. I think it was dumb because if someone saw those footsteps in the snow, they could still easily find out which house until Glenn suggested we do so to every house on the way and over. That way, if someone was trying to catch us off guard, they would have other houses to search beforehand, giving us time to escape or fight. So far we’re lucky but luck always runs out, as T-Dog has said.

After seeing just our footsteps in the snow, we did the usual process of walking forward and backward on the back porches. I was never more happy to finally get to the house after going down the whole row of decoys. My nose felt like it was going numb even under the scarf. Carl was the one to open the door as we came in, a rounder Lori waiting on us, getting up from the kitchen table. “How did practice go?” she asked Carl who uttered out a quick fine before walking further into the house, leaving a dejected Lori staring after him. Baboso.

I stayed by the door, peeling off the layers of winter clothing I was covered in. Lori turned a sad gaze to me, “How about you, hun?” I unwrapped my scarf, looking up at her with a grin.

“Daryl says I did better today!” I pulled off the scarf and stuffed it into a pocket with the gloves. “Carl thinks he’s ready for moving ones but I’m glad they’re still frozen. They don’t stink and there isn’t any gunk to worry about.” I shook my head at the idea as I unzipped the coat. Lori raised a brow at me. “He thinks?”

I blinked up at her. “Isn’t the saying practice makes perfect? We’ve only done this for a few days. He acts like we’ve been doing this his entire life.” I turned my attention to the bump on Lori, “Which is why you’re gonna be a girl, right? ‘Cause boys always think they know better, huh.” I rubbed my hands on Lori’s stomach, knowing that it helps cheer her up a little. I felt a quick flick to my cheek, hissing, I half-heartedly glared up at the man who I know was guilty of it. A small grin was on his face. His new way of telling me I’m being cheeky. 

Lori let out a quiet laugh, pushing back the curls that had gotten longer over the month, as I practically hugged her. Daryl nodded over to her stomach. “How you feeling lately?”

“Not too bad. Nausea is completely gone now. Running a bit low on the prenatal vitamins but got enough to last for another two weeks at most.” She answered with half a smile. “Only four months to go.” She sighed, rubbing the bump that had really made its appearance over the last week. I looked up at Daryl, wondering if he’ll say anything to Rick about focusing on Lori as the months passed by. He barely looks at her and if he does he’ll probably ask a question to last the next month. People always asked the pregnant lady how she felt in movies and shows. So it made no sense why he wasn't talking to her. Lori was his wife and that was his baby.  


Daryl glanced down at me, leaning close to the bump, before tilting his head towards the living room. Grown-up conversations. Got it.

I gave a quick squeeze to Lori before carrying my puff jacket with me further into the house. Glenn and Maggie were sitting on the couch, looking over a map on the coffee table, talking in low voices. T-Dog was sitting on another couch listening to what was being said. That meant Rick and Herschel were on watch on both sides of the house. Carol had watch when we left so she is somewhere in the house. Muttering a quick ‘hey’ to those in the living room, I grabbed my newest book after finishing the first Narnia book of the series. I managed to find the fourth but refused to read it until I had read the two before it. 

A quick trip upstairs has me walking towards the room with Herschel, knowing that Carl took the room across the hall with Rick. I haven’t been in the same room alone with Rick since that time he got mad at me. I know he said we were going to do things his way but it's like a switch happened between the man I meet and now know. I know Daryl noticed that Rick made me nervous, so he was always near in case I felt like running to him. Not sure if I will fully be comfortable with Rick again but no one knows what tomorrow brings.

A smile was sent Herschel’s way as he noticed my entrance, waving Tuck Everlasting his way. He grinned, happy to see me. We came to a strange arrangement where if he was nearby, I would read out loud, him helping me with any of the bigger words that came along. Sometimes, I would read at night next to Herschel, knowing full well everyone else could hear. Hearing a story was far more comforting compared to what was outside. “Chapter five!” I giggled at him.

“You’ll have to reread it later tonight,” He teased, sparing a twinkling eye my way before it went back out the window. “You can’t just pick up in the middle of nowhere for the folks downstairs.”

“That’s fine. I’ll practice the words with you before looking like a dummy downstairs.” I replied, sitting by his chair at the window on the floor. I cracked open the book to chapter five where Winnie woke up the next day after hearing the music from the woods. I didn't go further than two chapters when Rick’s voice bellowed, “Move!”

I jumped at the sudden shout but did as he said, knowing what that meant. People. 

Carl was in front of me running down the stairs. The first place I ran to was the living room, picking up my bag, stuffing the book inside quickly before grabbing the folded blankets, stuffing them in too. I lifted the backpack onto my back, the jacket, and Terry before rushing into the kitchen with my bag; readily helping Carol and Lori put our supplies in the bags thrown onto the table. Glenn and Maggie had guns at the ready, by the back door. Rick and Herschel covering the second floor. Daryl and T-Dog were covering the front in case of a surprise attack. I was more worried about getting to the cars once we got out of here. The cars were scattered a bit on the block with the nearest vehicle being the truck holding onto the motorcycle in the truck bed.

All items packed up, everything was quickly distributed. I grabbed my backpack along with two sleeping bags, trying to give everyone two items less to worry about. Panicking, I looked out the window when I saw something dart around the corner of the house, the white snow working to everyone’s advantage inside the house. I placed the coat on quickly, wrapping only the scarf around my nose and neck, zipping the coat. I didn’t think to look back outside, heart already beating against my chest, ready to burst. 

Ready to go, I looked up to see Lori grabbing the last item she could carry, ready to start running. Carl looked at his mom, a gun in hand as well, waiting to move. She nodded and the three of us started jogging towards the front of the house. T-Dog was the one to update us, “Saw one by the house with the red mailbox, two houses down across the street. I’ll shoot and Daryl will cover you three to the car.” I glanced over to see the hunter had a gun in hand instead of his crossbow.

I pulled the scarf under my chin, nervously taking in a deep breath, concentrating on the front door once it was pushed open. I really hoped the car wasn’t too far. 

Daryl gave three loud knocks on the wall that echoed throughout the still house, signaling we were ready to go. Daryl glanced back at Lori, nodding at her to give her the heads up before unlocking the door, pushing it wide open for him to start shooting at the other person to give T-Dog the opportunity to cover us. Lori ran out first, me behind her as Carl gave me the chance to go first. Daryl was the last of the four of us to run out, T-Dog staying to cover the next group of people to exit the front.

The gunfire overhead was terrifying, forcing me to pump my legs as hard as I could, trying to keep up with Lori. Another gunshot was fired, sparks flying in front of me, shrieking at the bullet grazing the ground by my feet. The return fire comforted me, a flash of orange, letting me know that Daryl was okay, keeping us safe. Carl sped past me to be near Lori, protecting her and his future brother or sister. A shot rang out, followed by a loud shout, and I looked up to see Daryl wasn’t near me anymore, orange poncho no longer in the corner of my eye. 

Gasping, I turned around to see him on the ground, clutching onto his leg. I looked towards Lori and Carl to see that they safely made it to the car, looking back at us horrified. Daryl quickly fired back, waiting for someone to cover him. Once louder shots rang out, likely T-Dog’s rifle he must have glanced up to see me standing there, yelling, “Go!”

Lip trembling, I listened, hoping that he would be okay and get to the car. Two shots rang out and I heard the metal of the car I just ran past ring out in the air, encouraging me to pick up the pace. Daryl fired back behind me, hearing him grunt, likely forcing himself to move to get cover behind the car I ran past. I reached Lori and Carl, taking in deep gasps of air to my burning lungs, blood rushing in my ears. Lori checked me over, eyes nearly bulging out of her head, “Are you okay?”

I nodded, not having the breath in me to answer verbally. She opened the car door, “Get in,” she ordered, ”both of you.” Neither of us argued with her as she pulled out the gun she must have had hidden on her, just in case, closing the car door behind us. The gunfire lasted longer than what I would have liked, sitting in the backseat of the car, listening to the shouting of both familiar and unfamiliar voices. I held onto Carl in fear. Mind scrambling to the worst-case scenario with every shout I heard. Three doors opened at the same time, as I looked up in a panic but instant relief filled me at seeing Lori jump into the back with us.

The car roared to life, along with several others around us, leaving me to hope that everyone who was supposed to be in those cars was there. The tires squealed as the car took off to drive around the area to confuse the attackers, each car having a planned route to take, some overlapping to confuse them further. “How bad is it?” Carol asked from the driver’s seat, glancing at the man next to her.

He let out a deep sigh, “I’m alright.” Slightly wincing at the turn Carol had to make before his eyes focused on me. “You!” His eyes had darkened to the deepest blue I’ve yet to see in a person’s eye. “Next time, ya keep running, don’t ya dare stop!” he yelled at me, accent thickening. “Ya hear me?” Finger pointed at me.

I nodded, tears finally making their ways to my eyes as the man yelled at me. I quickly grabbed onto his wrist with both of my hands, rubbing my forehead against the back of his hand, sobbing loudly in the car. He was okay. He was okay.

The hand twisted in my grip, thumb caressing my forehead. “I’m alright,” he uttered softly, “quit yer cryin’.” Sniffing, I loosened my death grip in his wrist, looking up to see him looking me over. Possibly for any scrapes. 

I sat back into the seat as much as the backpack allowed, taking in a deep shuddering breath, “I don’t want you to end up like Mami.” I told him. His eyes weren’t as dark anymore, pulling his hand out of my grip to tap my cheek, his face showing very little.

“I’ll be alright.” He said again before quickly looking in front of him, pulling his arm to his lap and away from me. A different hand grasped mine and I looked down to see Carl’s wrapped up in mine, looking up to see him staring out the window. I held his hand without any complaints, gripping Terry’s arm with the other while I leaned my head onto Lori’s shoulder, the only sounds in the car being the engine and my quiet gasps of air. 

I didn’t notice that I fell asleep until Lori woke me. Confused, I saw Daryl and Carol already out of the car that was parked in some mechanic shop. Carl just managed to close the door behind him on the other side. There was the truck that T-Dog drove but I didn’t see the man or whoever else was with him. Still another car missing. I followed Lori out of the car, still a little confused. Was meeting up here part of the plan or where we were going to stay for the night? This is the part I don’t know.

Eventually, I heard the rolling sound of metal grinding on one another, realizing it was the sound of a garage door. The last car rolled in with Rick and T-Dog closing it behind the last car, seeing specks of snow on the men's jackets, Herschel in the driver's seat. A door opened somewhere in the room, Glenn appearing immediately after the sound. “Herschel!” he called out. Herschel turned off the engine and didn’t hesitate to leave the car, following Glenn into the room he appeared from. 

“Who’s hurt?” Rick looked around the room, scanning over Lori and Carl before walking up to Carol. She looked in the direction Herschel and Glenn disappeared in. 

“Daryl got shot in the leg, thankfully nothing serious.” She answered. He nodded at her response, scanning the place once more. 

“Checked the building before coming in?” he asked her another question.

“Waited for Glenn and Maggie to show up, didn’t want Daryl putting pressure on the leg.” She answered him, weight shifting as she wrapped her arms around herself. Rick patted her arm, assuring her that her decision was fine by him. A loud groan came from the room and I knew that was Herschel taking the bullet out of his leg. I bit my lower lip as I held onto Terry, unsure of what to do.

I let out a quiet sigh before staring wide eyes at Terry’s right leg with a hole in it. Whoever was shooting at us really didn’t care who it was that they were shooting. Bottom lip trembling, I ran a finger along the hole in the dinosaur's right leg. This new world was far crueler than the last one was. I leaned against the car, not knowing what to do, or what to even say. Daryl is hurt and getting treated. The others were either assisting Herschel or Rick in securing the place. I had nothing to do but stare at the stuffing that was sticking out from both sides.


	15. Home Sweet Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now onto Season 3, which to tell the truth, wasn't one of my favorites to begin with and it might show in the writing. There were a few things I disagreed with in this season but I'm not the writer or producer. 
> 
> Thank you for the continued support!

T-Dog sighed looking at the map that was placed on the hood of the car. “We got no place left to go.”

Maggie pointed on the map. “When this herd meets up with this one, we'll be cut off. We'll never make it South.”

Daryl had arms crossed staring down at the map, doing the math in his head. “What would you say?” He asked the group. “That was about 150 head?”

Glenn shook his head, grimacing. “That was last week. It could be twice that by now”

Hershel directed to a blue line on the map. “This river could have delayed them. If we move fast,” he drug a finger along the map, “we might have a shot to tear right through there

T-Dog scratched his head, quickly getting his point across by pointing at two different locations on the map. “Yeah, but if this group joins with that one, they could spill out this way.”

Maggie sighed, glaring down at the map. “So we're blocked.”

Rick crossed his arms, looking carefully at the map. “Only thing to do is double back at twenty-seven and swing towards Greenville.”

“Yeah,” T-Dog shook his head in disagreement, ”we picked through that already. It's like we spent the winter going in circles.” He huffed at that statement, the others staring thin-lipped at the map.

“Yeah, I know.” Rick sighed. “At Newnan we'll push west. Haven't been through there yet. We can't keep going house to house.” Rick scratched at the beard he grew over winter. “Need to find someplace to hole up for a few weeks.”

T-Dog agreed, happy with the idea. “All right. It cool if we get to the creek before we head out?” He double-checked with Rick. “Won't take long. We got to fill up on water. We can boil it later.” He reasoned. 

Rick saw the logic in it. “Knock yourself out.” 

I walked away from the trunk of the car and started heading back towards Carl who was standing in the truck bed, on watch. Once I was near, he tilted to look down at me. “What they say?” He quickly went back on watch.

“How we need a place to stay at instead of house shopping,” I said, leaning against the truck door. “Probably so your mom can have the baby and we don’t need to worry much about the walkers. Thing is, they aren’t sold on the where since the walkers kinda blocked us in.” I looked over at Lori, the woman more than ready to have the baby. She was sitting in the shade with Carol, likely talking about the pregnancy while Beth kept an eye out that way.

Carl looked over my head, “Daryl’s going hunting again. He’s taking Dad.”

I turned my head to see the man already disappearing in the woods, angel wings from his leather vest being the only thing I saw of him. Rick wasn’t far behind him. I frowned, never happy when he was gone but it’s not like anyone can stop the man. Not even a trail of tears. The only consolation was that he always came back in one piece.

After an hour, both men came back, Rick’s face having a large grin that I haven’t seen since the farm. “Gather everything up, we’re going for a walk, line the cars on the side of the road.” He ordered. Everyone was confused about what was going on, but no one was going to argue with him. I opened the car door, hearing Carl getting off the truck, grabbing his stuff and mine out. I held his bag out with one hand till he grabbed it, waiting for me to hand anything else his way. 

It wasn’t long before everyone was carrying something, cars looking abandoned, and Daryl’s bike hidden amongst the shrubbery. Rick took one look at the group before walking through the woods from where he and Daryl appeared from, everyone following him. I glanced at the tracks we were all leaving behind, trying to recollect some of the tracking tips Daryl was teaching me over the winter. He started off easy when the snow was still on the ground, having me compare footsteps from members of our group, then upping the ante with dirt and leaves when the snow melted. The beginning of Spring brought plenty of new lessons between the reanimated walkers and fights with people.

The first thing that was noticeable was the unmistakable smell of walkers. The sounds of them moaning in the distance was the second. Looking around Beth’s arm, I noticed what everyone was staring at. It was a prison with gates and high walls. The walkers ambling mindlessly in the yard. Rick looked back at us grinning, lifting the bolt cutters. “Let’s go.”

* * *

There were a few laughs around the campfire, everyone visibly relaxed, feeling secure after a long few months. I sat across from Carl, throwing an Uno card down from one of the houses we slept in a few months ago. Waiting as T-Dog was cooking up squirrel with some frijoles that we had scrounged up last week. Now that I was trusted to care for myself a bit more, I was given more leeway when the houses were being searched for anything essential. That’s how I’ve found a few cans of food. Carl was getting pretty good at finding them too, but not as good as me.

T-Dog came over, grinning. “Whoo!” He poured some frijoles with squirrel meat onto the plate Glenn held out.

“Mmm. Just like mom used to make.” Glenn joked as T-Dog went down around handing everyone a portion. When T-Dog passed us, I looked at Carl, muttering so he could only hear me. “Miss potatoes.” He nodded in agreement, throwing down two cards, “French fries.” Everyone was talking about plans for the field we were sitting on but I think I was more excited at Herschel’s. Not sure if I have ever eaten soybeans but I am willing to try.

“This'll be a good place to have the baby.” Beth’s voiced out, an image of the upcoming baby more likely in mind. “Safe.” There were a few murmurs of agreement, Carl agreeing nonverbally by tuning into the conversation at hand. I saw Carol walking over to the bus that was knocked on its side, carrying a plate to the man watching for our safety at the top. I noticed Carl was listening to the plans regarding his future sibling, so I tucked my cards into the back pocket with the slingshot, walking over to the bus.

Knowing I won’t be able to climb up, I looked up to see Daryl massaging Carol’s shoulder, which I saw she was moving around quite a bit during the afternoon. Forgetting the reason I even came over, I quickly ran back and grabbed my bottle of water that has been dependable for the last few months. Carl finally realized I was gone but I shook the bottle. “Let me give this to Daryl, he’s on watch.” He nodded, crossing his arms over his legs, waiting for me to come back.

When I got back, both Carol and Daryl were laughing. I was about to call up when Daryl stood up, "I'll go down first." He didn't notice me at the bottom yet as he started climbing down the side of the bus.

"Even better," Carol told him, the smile heard in her voice. Daryl briefly stopped.

"Stop." He stared at her before coming back down. I moved to the side as the man jumped down the rest of the way. He landed perfectly fine, looking up to see Carol making her way down with the same plate she went up with, except it seems Daryl finished it off. When both were safely on the ground, I shook the bottle, the splashing water startling both adults. "Thirsty?"

Daryl was red, glaring down at me. "What you hear?" Carol's thin lips disappeared completely as if she was embarrassed about something.

I blinked owlishly at him, answering slowly. "Was there something I wasn't supposed to hear?"

He kept an eye on my face, trying to find the lie, something that he has gotten better at in the last few months. He grunted, reaching for the bottle, taking a deep drink now that we had water to replenish our stock. Carol lifted the plate, "I'll go start washing up. Your turn to help me, Cielo." I nodded as she walked back towards the camp. 

I looked back at Daryl's red ears glowing with the fire nearby, reading him just as well as he could me. "Seriously, what's wrong?"

"Nothin'." He handed me back the bottle, walking towards everyone else. I rolled my eyes. I'll find out eventually if it's really that important. Following Daryl, Beth started to sing a song I haven't heard before. I put my cards on the main deck to signal to Carl I had to stop playing and walked over to where Carol was. 

" _ For want of wit. _

_ To memory now I can't recall.  _

_ So fill to me.  _

_ The Parting Glass.  _

_ Good night and joy be with you all" _

At this point, Maggie joined Beth, smiling at whatever memories she has with the song. 

" _ Oh,all the comrades.  _

_ That e'er I had. _

_ We're sorry for my going away.  _

_ And all the sweethearts.  _

_ That e'er I had. Would wish me. _

_ One more day to stay…" _

The wash cloth felt soapy and crummy as I listened to both Beth and Maggie sing the song. There was a small round of applause after both women finished singing, Herschel proudest of them all, giving Beth a quick kiss to the crown of her head. "Beautiful." He uttered loudly, for both his daughters to hear.

Rick was one of the few standing. "Better all turn in. I'll take watch over there. Got a big day tomorrow." He announced. That got everyone's attention, Carol and I pausing on washing the dishes. 

Glenn looked around the group, looking to any faces that were aware of what he meant before asking. "What do you mean?"

"Look,I know we're all exhausted. This was a great win. But we've got to push just a little bit more." Rick told us. "Most of the walkers are dressed as guards and prisoners. Looks like this place fell pretty early. It could mean the supplies may be intact. They'd have an infirmary, a commissary-"

Daryl caught on to Rick's train of thought. "An armory?"

Rick nodded. "That would be outside the prison itself, but not too far away. Warden's offices would have info on the location." His eyes shifted from the hunter to the rest of us. "Weapons, food, medicine. This place could be a gold mine."

Hershel had the look that I've come to know as overly cautious. "We're dangerously low on ammo. We'd run out before we make a dent." He recalled taking over the courtyard when everyone was aimlessly firing into the crowd of walkers.

I was still trying to wrap my head around what a commissary was.

"That's why we have to go in there…" Rick pushed, gesturing to the building behind us. "Hand to hand. After all we've been through, we can handle it, I know it. These assholes don't stand a chance."

"So you're expecting even Cielo to go in, for hand to hand action?" Herschel frowned at the man. Rick glanced over at me. I know he knew I could handle myself but even I still had limitations. Daryl shifted nervously by Rick as the man debated on what Herschel said.

"No," he finally agreed. "She can handle a small handful but not what we're going into. Just a few of us." 

I knew that the few would include Daryl, T-Dog, Glenn, and Maggie. They were the only ones of the group that were able to easily counter walkers with knives or guns. Rick wouldn't risk Lori,Carl, or Herschel for valid reasons. Carol was still hesitant when it came face to face with walkers. Beth hardly had a mean bone in her body to go through with killing anything face to face. Then there's me due to my age and size.

I helped Carol with the last of the dishes before walking over to Daryl. He was still awake when I pulled my new backpack to lay on its side, as a pillow. I laid down facing Daryl as I had the last few months, staring at my hands. A soft tug of hair had me looking up. "Go to sleep."

"I'm having an easy time as you are trying to sleep right now," I told him. He snorted, nodding over to my bag.

"Take out Terry. Helps you sleep better." He pointed out. I sighed, sitting up, opening the black bag to pull out Terry, who's clearly seen better days. The poor dinosaur was legless on the right while the tail and remaining leg was still rusted brown, now blind as a bat, unsure where he lost the other eye. His stuffing has been shifted all over the place and far too thin around his belly. 

"Terry looks like he needs a break," I mumbled, earning a chuckle from the hunter. 

"Poor son of a bitch has definitely seen better days," Daryl replied, before realizing who he was talking to. His eyes narrowed at me, finger pointed, and I beat him to it with a sigh.

"I know, I know," I groaned leaning back down. "The whole 'do as I say, not as I do.' And 'no cussing'." I looked up at him, "Did I get it?" Knowing full well I did. 

I dodged before he could flick my cheek with a small laugh, knowing he would say I was being cheeky. He reached over and pulled me to him, finally sending the flick to my cheek. I squealed, turning my face into his chest, the flick not even hurting. Bright-eyed, I looked up at him, grinning. "Not my fault you're teaching me how to be a cheeky brat."

"Nah," he disagreed. "That's your problem. I'm trying to fix it." Eyes betraying the serious tone he was trying with me. He didn't always mind the cheek. He just didn't want to admit it. I stuck my tongue out in retaliation but he quickly responded with a poke to my side, making me jerk further into his lap. 

"No tickling!" I told him. "How can I go to sleep if you start tickling me?" I pouted. 

"Dixon," T-Dog looked over his shoulder. "Quit playing games. Trying to sleep." Daryl glowered at the man.

"Wait," I responded. "We're playing 'Follow the trail'? I didn't know we were hunting rabbits." I joked, looking innocently at Daryl. T-Dog started muttering under his breath that sounded exactly like 'cheeky brat'. Daryl just chuckled before gently pushing me off his lap.

"I'll take ya hunting after we clear the place tomorrow." He promised. I hummed in content, pulling the ailing Terry to me as he said, "Get some shut-eye."

* * *

I looked over at Rick and Lori that were standing off to the side as everyone who was going with him was gearing up, mentally bracing themselves. I saw a shadow moving next to me and turned my head to see Carl staring at both of his parents, who were clearly now arguing. "Even know why they can't get along anymore?" I asked him, turning back as Lori shouted that she was sorry to Rick.

"Yeah," he answered me before walking off, clearly not wanting to say the why. I glanced over at Lori to see she had both hands behind her back, just looking down at the ground. Sighing, I started to walk over to Lori, who had no idea of her surroundings.

"Back hurts?" I asked, pretending that I didn't know about the argument she just had with Rick. She forced a smile on her face as I looked up innocently. 

"Yeah, not comfortable lugging a baby as big as a watermelon. I’m ready to have my body back." She joked, hand pushing me along with her towards the others. I scrunched my nose at the thought and the visual image Lori gave with an enlarged stomach. 

"Yeah, I don't think I'll ever have kids if that's the case." I told her. She laughed wholeheartedly at that comment.

"Well," she grinned at me, "Daddy Dixon will have to okay your future husband first." She teased.

I scrunch my nose at the thought of kissing a boy. "Daddy Dixon don't gotta worry. Sounds gross." I replied, warily glancing around, not wanting anyone to hear what Lori said.

_ And problematic if things go wrong, _ I thought to myself, seeing what the months have brought between the husband and wife.

It was quiet before Lori curiously asked, "Why haven't you called Daryl 'Dad'? You clearly feel he is. You've said it-"

"By accident," I reminded her, glancing up. "Plus, I'm scared it'll make him nervous and clam up. Give me some credit. I know he doesn't do good with emotional stuff. That's why I have you, Carol, and Maggie." Then I felt a smirk, "Besides," she looked at me, "can you imagine talking to Daryl about bras? I know I got a while but he's probably dreading it deep down."

Lori let out a louder laugh at that, earning a few looks from the group we were approaching. I looked over at the confused faces and innocently shrugged. Daryl’s gaze clearly told me he wasn’t buying it but if asked, he was getting it. I bent down to pick a sharp branch that she was using yesterday to hit along the chain fence, handing it to her. Plan was for us to do the same to help divert as many walkers as we could to us, limiting the amount they would be dealing with. “What was funny?” Daryl asked.

“Daryl,” I sang, his only warning that he wasn’t going to like it if he pushed it. He must have seen the mischievous look in my eye but I wasn’t convinced he would leave it alone. He grunted, flicking my cheek as he reached over. “How was that cheeky?!”

“Felt like it.” He responded, the others laughing a little, needing some relief from the current task that was coming ahead. “Now spill.”

“Fine.” I sighed, glaring up at him. “I asked Lori when she thinks I have to worry about bras. I know it’s bound to happen but Mami hasn’t had the chance to talk to me about it.” I laid it on him. “Mami mentioned wearing training bras when she was nine, but I don’t think any are left. I joked how the walkers ate it.” If it was possible to see someone freeze up while simultaneously turning red, Daryl Dixon did it. He didn’t say another word as he started heading over to the gate, high tailing it out of this conversation.

“You are an evil little mastermind, ya know that?” T-Dog laughed quietly to not overly embarrass the man who just ran off. I sighed, looking over at Lori for help, which after hiding the laugh she had looked over at him.

“We really were talking about bras.” she defended.

Rick grinned down at me. “Can you not mess around with his head before we head into a group of walkers?” 

“No man wants to think of their little girl growing up.” Herschel added in defense of Daryl, but the spark in his eyes told me he was amused at how fast the quiet man ran off. I felt a flush of happiness to think that Daryl considered me his little girl before it drained away. Herschel said it, not Daryl.

Glenn, Maggie, and Carol didn’t hide the fact that they were laughing into their own hands, or in the couples case, one another. Carl looked just as disturbed as the man who ran off. I looked at the laughing couple, “Don’t tease him. It’s why I was talking to Lori about it.” I pouted in his defense. Maggie and Glenn stood up, Maggie bending down to give me a kiss on the forehead, “An absolute gem.” She stated before walking over to an overly anxious Dixon, Glenn right behind her.

T-Dog pointed down at me as he walked over to the forming group. “You knew exactly what you were doing.”

“Did not.” I argued, the mischievous gleam no doubt shining in my eyes, wrapping my arms around Lori as a defense. The only person to read me as well as Daryl was the very man who outed me to the group in the first place. Helping Daryl keep me on my toes.

Rick just ruffled my hair, ignoring my disapproval of such a thing, “You are going to be a handful in a few years. Doesn’t know what hit him.” He laughed, walking over to his group to go over the plans once more.

“She’s a handful now,” Herschel added loudly, so everyone could hear him. I looked over at the bearded man, a hand to my chest as if to signify he was talking about me. Carol got up, pot and pan in each hand to attract walkers. “That she is.”

“Why are girls so much trouble?” Carl mumbled, not expecting anyone to hear him.

“Oh,” I narrowed my eyes on the teenager. His eyes darted over to me, surprised that he was even heard. I attempted to fix my hair that had grown since the fall of civilization. “I didn’t realize I caused so much fuss at the farm between snatching up guns and disappearing-wait!” I gasped, looking back at Carl who was glaring down at me. “That was you.”

“Okay, enough.” Lori interjected. “No fights.”

“Let’s go help the others,” Carol joined Lori in keeping the peace. “C’mon.”

We walked over to the fence, a bit of a distance on both ends from the group who were going to head into mayhem. Herschel was the only one at the gate to let them in, charged with immediately closing it behind them. I sighed, ignoring the rot and decay that was coming from the walkers already lining up along the fence in front of me, Carl at a better height level to stab their heads. I moved over a bit more to try and encourage the walkers to bend more to my height, even though I shot up a few inches. I pulled my hair half up, securing it with the hair tie that has seen better days, keeping the shorter hairs out of my eyes.

Carol let out a small laugh as she looked at me. Confused, I looked up, “What?”

“Nothing.” she threw out quickly before saying what she really meant. “It’s just sometimes you act like you’re already a teenager instead of just a seven year old.”

“And what did I do to make you just think that?” I asked, a bit snottily.

Carol snorted, “For one, that attitude.” I blinked up at her, feeling slightly sorry,” and the other is that you’ve been so focused on your hair. Like you’re sprucing up for a date for prom.”

“I don’t want my hair to get in the way. Daryl says it’s dangerous if we’re out dealing with walkers and people, so if I want it long I gotta keep it back.” I pouted. “Plus, I don’t want it to get knotty.” She laughed at that. “To be fair,” I added, looking back at the walkers who were trying to bite me through the fencing, “after the winter we had, can anyone really be a kid?”

Carol was quiet before answering. “No,” she agreed, “not anymore.”

Hershel’s voice brought us back to the present. “Ready?” 

I slid my knife out and into the eye socket of a walker that bent low enough for me to reach, others starting to follow its lead. I wish that there were towers that I could help from afar again versus the up close and personal at the gate. I heard Herschel open the gate, Carol starting to bang the pot and pan together, getting the walkers in front of us riled up. I heard the clanging of the gate shutting, knowing that meant they were in. 

Glenn's voice was heard beyond the walkers. “Get tight! Get tight!”

Carl started shouting louder, to attract the walkers over.”Come on,” He stabbed one through the fence, “over here!”

“Hey! Over here!” Lori’s voice echoed from the other side with Herschel and Beth. I whistled, not wanting to tire myself out by shouting, the piercing sound seeming to have the same effect as shouting. I was more focused on the yelling behind the wall of walkers. As long as they make noise, it is comforting, so long as it wasn’t a scream.

Lori yelled over to us. “I can't see them. Can you see them?”

Carol shook her head, trying to see past the walkers. “Back there?” She sarcastically asked. I couldn’t help but laugh at that. It wasn’t helpful, as stressing a pregnant woman this far in her trimester wasn’t ideal, but it was the only logical answer. They were somewhere behind the walkers.

A cheer broke out behind the walkers, settling whatever quisiness I felt in my stomach about them going in. It didn’t stop my current job of destroying the brains of zombified people. Carol started to join me and Carl in killing the walkers along the fence, no longer concerned about the possibility of the others being surrounded. Before we even knew it, the walkers were being decimated on the other side of the fence by the other group. Once the last walker was disposed of, I looked up to see Rick jerk his head towards the fence, breathing heavily. 

Following his lead, we walked over to the fence they were just let in from, the others coming over as well. “Grab the stuff,” Rick huffed out, “we’re moving in.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and Kudos. I wish there was a button I could press like the Kudos to let you all know I read and appreciate the comments.
> 
> Speaking of comments, someone almost hit the nail for a future chapter, I was quite surprised because there is no way to leave hints regarding that.

Glenn looked around inside, staring at the grey walls and bars from outside. “Well, it looks secure.”

Daryl disagreed. “Not from the look of that courtyard over there. That's a civilian.” I glanced over at the walker wearing a dress instead of a prison jumpsuit like the majority of the walkers.

T-Dog reasoned logically, staring at the same walker I was. “So, the interior could be overrun with walkers from outside the prison?”

I shrugged. “Or visitors who got stuck here. No saying what was going on when things fell apart here.” T-Dog reached over and pinched my cheek between two knuckles. “Hey, that hurt!”

Daryl ignored me looking over for help, more than likely his way of payback for the whole bra incident. Instead, he was likely formulating a plan on the best way to likely get rid of those walkers. 

Glenn shrugged, “Well if there's walls down, what are we gonna do? We can't rebuild this whole place.” I nodded in agreement. We didn’t have the same capabilities as we did before the walker infestation. People who were experts in doing so far and in between. Any equipment needing electricity to do so was another issue. 

Rick shook his head, glaring over at the future problem. “We can't risk a blind spot. We have to push in.” He sighed, looking over at us, likely starting to feel the exhaustion from earlier. “Let’s head in. Daryl with me.” He gripped the machete, focusing on the enclosed fence heading indoors. 

Daryl was the one to push the door open, a loud squeak echoing in throughout the room. Rick was the first to walk down the metal stairs, looking around cautiously in case of any stray walkers inside with us. After a few minutes of silence, he lowered the machete and asked. “What do you think?”

“Home sweet home,” Glenn commented sarcastically, looking around the grey walls and bars that surrounded us.

Rick either ignored the sarcasm, or didn’t hear it for what it was, ”For the time being..”

Carol looked apprehensive. “It's secure?”

Rick nodded, looking around. “This cellblock is.”

“What about the rest of the prison?” asked our cautious patriarch.

Rick felt Herschel’s concern was valid. “In the morning, we'll find the cafeteria and infirmary.”

“We sleep in the cells?” Beth was shocked at the idea, looking at the cells she was dreading to sleep in. I glanced at Beth, blinking at her in amazement. After all the places we’ve had to sleep between houses when other groups were not far behind us, I’ll be happy to take a cell block with a bed. Carl looked over at her sympathetically. I felt the eyeroll coming. It was a miracle that I had managed to hold back at his obvious crush on Beth. There was no way she didn’t know.

Rick ignored the question, feeling that time will provide the answer. “I found keys on some guards. Daryl has a set, too.”

Daryl took one look at the cell, feeling his skin itch at the idea of being contained in. “I ain't sleeping in no cage,” he growled out. I looked up at the hatred he let out in his voice. He climbed up the other stairs that were ahead of him. “I'll take the perch.”

Carol sighed, grabbing a bag off of Lori and nudging me. “Come on.” Lori thanked Carol as I let both older women go ahead of me. I heard Beth mutter something how gross things were and started counting, heading up the stairs after Lori.

“Yeah,” Carl agreed, not even lasting five seconds, “remember the storage units?”

Beth was quiet for a moment before saying anything. “It's actually--it's actually comfortable. Check it out.” I looked over the railing, seeing Herschel walk over to one of the cells underneath my feet. A smirk growing on my face. All three were hidden from my sight so all I could do was listen.

“You find your cell yet?” The protective father asked Carl. 

“Yeah,” Carl’s voice shook a bit. “I was just making sure Beth was safe. See you tomorrow!” He ran up the stairs, missing the low chuckle Herschel let out. I bit my lips, hand over my mouth to avoid bursting out laughing.

“See you!” Beth called out. 

I kept my hand over my mouth as Carl walked passed me, hissing, “Shut up.” I looked up at the ceiling, unsure I would keep in the laugh that was bubbling in me if I looked at the teenage boy. I let out a deep breath of air, feeling that I had everything under control, looked down, and met Daryl’s smirking face. A snort escaped me before I stopped it. I pointed my own finger at Daryl, silently saying to stop it, before walking to pick a cell. 

* * *

The next morning came, Daryl woke me up early, to fulfill the promise from the day before. I rubbed my face into Terry, who acted as my pillow, unzipping the sleeping bag. Letting out a sigh as I pushed away the hand that went to shake me again. “I’m up,” I mumbled.

I looked up to see him impatiently waiting for me to move. “Get moving,” He looked around the cell, seeing the pillow I tossed off the bed, not wanting to rest my head on some guy's pillow. I sighed, sitting up, pulling on the jeans I wore yesterday back on. Pulling on the boots I shoved underneath the bed onto my feet. 

I left the cell to see Daryl already by the stairs exiting the cell block. I quietly walked down the metal stairs to not wake the others. He handed me a bow that he found back in December in a store dedicated to hunting goods. To say that I was thrilled was an understatement. I begged Daryl to show me immediately how to use the bow and drug the poor man outside. The previous practice of a slingshot transferred easier to the bow than Daryl expected. However, he kept ahold of the bow because at the time Carl was still grating on my nerves. The worry of me shooting him with the arrow on accident won out.  


Except now that I get along with Carl, maybe he will let me keep my bow.

He chuckled when my sleepy gaze immediately brightened to one of awareness as he also handed over my quiver full of arrows. He opened the door as quietly as he could, metal creaking, before closing it behind us. We both glanced at the walkers in the courtyard that has yet to be cleared before walking towards the gates we came in from. “Alright, let’s see what you remember. You lead.” He ordered, settling the crossbow in his hands after shutting the gate behind him.

Nervousness filled me. I never led a hunt. I always followed Daryl. If I miss a trail we might not have anything to eat. 

He seemed to have noticed I got nervous, gently pushing a knuckle into a cheek. “You spotted tracks fine on your own. If you miss one, I’ll let you know.”

“Promise? I don’t want the others to miss out on food 'cause I did.” I looked up at him, eyes begging.

He seemed to chew the inside of his cheek, avoiding to look at my eyes,“Ya don’t need to ask.” I smiled at the silent promise and started walking towards the woods, nervously excited to find something for the group.

Once we were surrounded by trees, I made a conscious effort to keep quiet as we both walked further in, eyes scanning the floor for any tracks. Every once in a while, I turned my eyes skyward, trying to see if I can see a squirrel dart around a tree. A grin found its way on my face as I noticed some tracks. The dirt was recently pulled up, dirt dug up still moist from the morning dew. I followed the tracks, arrow docked, and walked alongside them. I noticed a small creature dart behind a tree and I stayed still, waiting for it to reappear. I didn’t need to wait long as it stuck it’s head out, arrow flying.

The arrow struck my target, excitement shaking itself out of every pore, turning to look at Daryl with a full smile. He was leaning against a tree with a small smile of his own, nodding. Remaining quiet to not ruin any other game nearby, I walked over to my kill, silently apologizing to the rabbit as I grabbed it. I walked over to Daryl, handing him the rabbit since he had the rope to tie up whatever was caught. He twisted my arrow out from the rabbit, checking to see if the arrow was salvageable. I noticed the twinge of muscle in his cheek, knowing that the arrow was done for. He showed me what was wrong silently before tossing it over.

Feeling a bit more confident, I turned around looking for more game, pulling another arrow from my quiver. We did this for another hour and a half before heading back, me practically skipping on clouds. I had managed to find a raccoon on top of a second rabbit. That should last us a few days, especially if we smoked it. It would be a huge improvement from having to eat squirrel meat, that's for sure. 

On the way back, Daryl had made a game to spot squirrels, to practice my awareness of my surroundings. He seemed to make every lesson into some kind of game. Something that I think was fun for him as I stumbled my way through it all. Either way, I learned a useful life skill and had fun doing it. It was fun to be out in the woods with Daryl. 

And of course, he spotted the squirrels faster than I did in our new game. 

Upon entering the cell block, everyone was awake, Carol and Lori starting to get ready to cook breakfast. Rick and Carl were the first two to see us come in, both pleased to see the meat we managed to bring after a few lean weeks. “Awesome, Daryl brought some goods,” T-Dog exclaimed, hands rubbing in the excitement of food.

“Bambi’s work, not mine.” Daryl replied, letting me soak in my joy.

“Hey!” T-Dog came over, “Good job, kiddo!” He motioned a low high-five, which I was happy to return.

“We have another hunter in the making I see,” Herschel kept adding to my ego. I looked over at Daryl, waiting for him to say yes or no. The hunter ignored me, putting the two rabbits and raccoon on the table to skin. I pulled the quiver higher on my back, waiting impatiently for him to say anything, unsure if this is a weird test of a hunter’s patience. He says he tests me without saying what he was testing, like a pop quiz. I think he does it to annoy me.  


He finally looked over, with a grin, knowing I was waiting impatiently. “She’s nearly there just needs work on her sense of direction and awareness.” I felt the excitement build up that if I didn’t have something to do soon, I was going to explode. “Come here, time to learn how to skin and gut ‘em.”

“Uff,” Lori got up from her seat. “Let me know when that is over. My stomach is turning at the idea.” She waddled off to her cell, not wanting to see the process. Beth quickly agreed, face pale at seeing the rabbit Daryl grabbed first. I tilted my head in confusion. They’ve seen Daryl gut and skin a squirrel just as often as I have. What's the big deal?  


“Next time, I’ll have her gut outside the gates,” Daryl promised, grabbing the kills. “I don’t want her learning how with any walkers loose in the woods. C’mon, let’s go to the courtyard.” 

“Let me put these away,” I tried to see if he would let me keep the bow and quiver, or if he would hold onto it still. As I ran up the stairs, he didn’t say anything, so I put my bow and quiver next to the rolled sleeping bag on the bed.

* * *

Daryl looked pleased at the table, picking up a cylinder item before placing it down. “Not bad..” The whole group was pleased after further clearing the prison to find these trinkets were still around. I just looked at everything, going to take a bite of the food that was cooked earlier this morning. My appetite finally came back after gutting the poor furry creatures. It’s one thing to see and another to do. 

Rick grinned, rubbing at his beard. “Flashbangs, CS Triple-Chasers. Not sure how they'd work on walkers, but we'll take 'em.”

Daryl took one look at the armor that was peeled off the walkers wearing them at a different table. “I ain't wearing this shit.”

“We could boil 'em.” T-Dog suggested. My appetite nearly gone at the idea of walker soup. Mentally agreeing with the statement that came out of Daryl as I almost spat out my food.

“Ain't enough firewood in the whole forest.” Daryl spat out. “No.” He remained adamant about not having to wear one. However, I wanted to tell him if I had to wear a pink winter jacket, he may have to wear the armor whether he liked it or not. “Besides, we made it this far without 'em, right?”

I took another bite but felt something hard in my food, “Hmm!” All the adults around the table looked at me, slightly concerned. I spat my food out in my hand, noticing a tooth stuck right in the middle of the meat I was just enjoying. I blinked in surprise. That’s one way to lose a tooth.

“There went a baby tooth,” Herschel chuckled. I ran a tongue along my teeth trying to find which one it was to feel it was one of my front teeth. 

“No!” I covered my mouth with the back of my hand, going to toss out the tooth and chewed up food later, wide-eyed. 

“You can’t stop a baby tooth from falling out,” Glenn looked at me confused. 

“Didn’t you already lose three?” Maggie just gave Glenn a look, probably catching on compared to her boyfriend. Daryl looked surprised to hear about that. Then again, the poor man was either out on a hunt or supply run during the winter. After the first encounter with other people, Carl and I were kept under lock and key, especially me by Daryl. 

“Hold on,” T-Dog grinned. “Give me a smile.” Catching onto why I wasn’t thrilled about losing this specific tooth. I glared over at the man. 

“You’re the worst,” I hissed. Carl’s head appeared over my shoulder, grinning. 

“It’s just a smile,” He teased.

Maggie jumped in, “Okay, now you guys are just picking on her.”

I lowered my hand, turning my glare at the boy who leaned his head on my shoulder. “You should be the last person to be teasing me right now, Carl Grimes.” He just grinned, sitting next to me, poking at my cheek playfully.

“Just a smile,” He continued, smiling brightly. “See.”

“Carl,” Rick warned the teenage boy. Carl ignored the warning and launched an assault on my sides. A loud laugh echoed throughout the cellblock, I quickly tried to jump away, but Carl wrapped an arm around me. “Carl!” I screamed laughing.

He stopped tickling, keeping a hold until he knew I wasn’t going to fall off the bench. I gasped in some air, still giggling from the aftershocks, hitting the hat down on Carl’s face. “Baboso!” 

“Look at that smile,” Herschel smiled. “Losing a front tooth makes every kid look adorable.”

“You lot already call me Bambi,” I muttered, red faced. 

“Can’t get any cuter than that.” Maggie smiled at me. 

I looked at her. “That’s exactly my point. I don’t need to look cuter. Otherwise, I’ll have a big head like Carl over here.”

He poked my side in retaliation, a squeak escaping instead of a laugh. They let out low laughs at my misery.

I rolled my eyes, “I’m going.” I didn’t wait to stay much longer in the room but still heard the conversation as I walked towards the cell block, scraping up the last bit of food into my mouth and put the dish and fork in a pile meant for Carl to clean later tonight.

“Eye-rolls already?” Herschel asked, brows high on his forehead. “Since when was seven going on seventeen?”

Carl snorted, “Carol said the same thing yesterday but Cielo is right. Who can be a kid in today’s world?” That last statement brought the high mood from earlier down low. I cringed at how oblivious Carl could be at times. 

Not wanting to touch that topic with a ten-inch pole with them right now, I started going up the stairs to see a concerned Carol rounding the corner. She looked up in surprise to see me on the stairs but smiled all the same, patting my cheek as she went down. I stared after the short-haired woman a bit longer before focusing my eyes on the cell containing a likely overdue woman. There wasn't anyone else on the second floor but Lori. Feeling something was wrong, I made my way to her cell as Carol called out for Herschel.

I quietly padded over, sticking my head around the corner of the cell, seeing Lori rub a hand over her belly, brows deeply furrowed. “Worried?” I asked, no point in trying to sugarcoat this. Lori went to smile but I just leveled her a look I haven’t seen personally in nearly a year. 

She choked out a bitter laugh, “You’re too good at that.”

I went into the cell and sat next to her. “You mean you’re surprised how I can detect some BS after being under Daddy Dixon’s wing?” I asked her quietly, seeing first hand how things echo in this cell block after leaving the previous room. She just laughed, hand caressing my cheek. She didn't have the chance to say anything as the white-haired farmer came in with the grey-haired Carol.  


“What seems to be the problem?” Herschel asked, taking a seat in the only chair in the room, taking a brief look at me.

Lori answered him immediately, pulling her hand away. “It's the baby. I think I lost it.” My head jerked over to Lori in surprise, reaching her hand. She clutched onto mine with a grip so tight her knuckles were white. 

Herschel frowned, “You haven't felt it move?”

Lori shook her head, the tears she had been keeping at bay starting to fall silently. “Nothing. And no Braxton-Hicks.” She paused, eyes momentarily drifting to the floor. “At first I thought it was exhaustion or malnutrition.”

Herschel immediately began asking her questions, trying to figure out what’s going on. “You're anemic?”

Lori nodded her head, the whites of her eyes starting to appear. “If we're all infected then so's the baby. So what if it's stillborn?” She hissed quietly. “What if it's dead inside me right now? What if it rips me apart?”

Hershel raised a hand, starting to see what was happening. “Stop. Don't let your fear take control of you.”

Lori nodded, sniffling as she wiped some tears away. “Okay. Then let's say it lives and I die during childbirth.”

Herschel shook his head, refusing to be pessimistic. “That's not going to happen.”

“Why not?” Lori asked him angrily. “How many women died in childbirth before modern medicine?” My eyes widened at that question, unaware that women ever did. “If I come back, what if I attack it? Or you? Or Rick? Or Carl?” I felt tears building in my eyes. This was what Mami felt. This is how she truly felt while keeping a brave face for me. Every mom’s worst fear other than seeing their children being bitten or eaten was to be the monster that bit or ate their own child.

“If I do,” Lori continued, “if there is any chance, you put me down immediately. You don't hesitate. Me, the baby, if we're walkers, you don't hesitate and you don't try to save us. Okay?” I kneeled onto the bed, holding Lori tight, trying to stop the train of thoughts she was getting. “It might have been better if--” she stopped, holding me as close as she could with a baby in the way. 

“If what?” Herschel asked, realizing letting her voice her concerns helped calm her down.

She exhaled as if she was releasing all of her inner demons, whispering, “I'd never made it off the farm.”

Herschel reached for Lori’s other hand. “You're exhausted, frightened.”

Lori nodded, “Yeah, that's true. My son can't stand me.” That Baboso. “And my husband, after what I put him through…”

Herschel sighed. “We've all been carrying that weight. All winter.” Wait, everyone but me knows?

I leaned back, letting Lori have some room again. She sighed, rubbing her hands on her thighs, trying to center herself. “I tried to talk to him. He..”

Carl had to get being a baboso from somewhere I suppose.

Herschel leaned back into his chair, unsure how else to continue. “He'll come around.”

Lori denied it. Shaking her head as the tears started up again. “He hates me. He's too good a man to say it, but I know. I put him and Shane at odds. I put that knife in his hand.”

Herschel pointed a look at Lori, tired of her pity party. “You know who doesn't give a shit about that? This baby.” My jaw dropped. Herschel cussed!

Lori laughed softly at that, running her hand over her belly with a soft gaze. I looked at her a bit more trying to figure how else to cheer her up, still wrapping the fact that sweet Herschel said a bad word.

“Know what makes me happy?” I asked Lori, who glanced at me confused. I continued anyway. 

“Chocolate and pineapples. Not together, but I love it. What was your favorite treat?” I asked her.

“Doritos and thin mints,” She answered, still not sure where I was going with it.

“Well, I can’t go on runs but I can ask for Daryl to see if he’ll find thin mints or Doritos. Next time you feel sad, you can binge eat the whole thing,” I grinned.

She smiled but her eyes focused on my missing tooth, excitement filling her. “You lost another tooth! Was Daddy Dixon around to see?” She asked.

“Daddy Dix-” I froze, remembering we had an audience. Lori stared back at me, silently apologizing at her slip.

“Herschel,” Carol’s voice had the clear undertones of me being mercilessly teased for the near future, “did I just hear right?”

I turned, staring wide-eyed at the smiling Carol who was leaning against the cell doors. “No one heard anything,” I told her, panic rising.

“Now, I believe I heard exactly what you believe to have heard.” Herschel replied, looking at me with a grin. My face was starting to burn as hot as the sun from the looks the two adults gave me. I hid my face in my hands, groaning.

“I said it by accident,” I confessed to both of them. “I was mad at him when he wouldn’t let me out of the house and I meant to say Daryl but the word 'Daddy' came out instead, so I ended up saying 'Daddy Dixon'. And Lori heard me say it since I was talking to her, so now-Can we just not let him know! I don’t want to freak him out. I don’t want him to stop talking to me!” I hissed out, still mindfully aware of the echoes along the walls. Tears built up and I started fanning my face as if that was going to keep the tears down.

“Oh, sweetie,” Carol came over, sitting next to me. “He won’t stop talking to you.”

“And you don’t have to worry about us telling him,” Herschel patted my knee, eyes staring fondly at me. “You’ll tell him when you think you’re both ready for it.”

“I came over here to make Lori feel better and y'all made me cry instead,” I sniffed. They all laughed in the cell, Lori comforting me just as much as Carol was. Herschel turned his smiling gaze from me over to Lori.

“Now, let's make sure everything's all right before I help the others find the infirmary.”

I frowned, unaware that he was going. That anyone was going to clear another part of the prison, thinking what they did today was it. “When did Rick decide that?” I asked.

Herschel held up a hand, telling me to wait as he laid his head against Lori’s stomach. “Heartbeat is there, perfectly fine.” Then he leaned aware to look at me. “After you left, I told Rick I needed to start familiarizing myself with what is in the infirmary. Whenever this one decides to grace us with their presence,” he patted Lori’s belly, assuring her all seems well, “I want to be ready.”

He stood up and went to leave the cell, me following behind him. If Daryl was leaving, I wanted to see him off. Herschel motioned for me to go first and I thanked him, running down the stairs and back to the table where everyone was gathered. Upon reaching the doorway, I frowned over at Daryl who was filling up the quiver attached to the crossbow. “You’re leaving now?” I asked him.

“Yeah,” he answered, putting the last one that would fit before looking up at me. “Were you crying?” He asked, pulling my chin towards him, inspecting my face. “They were only tea-” 

I shook my head. “No, Lori was saying stuff that made me think of Mami. I just got emotional.”

He looked at me, trying to see if I was downplaying it, letting go of my chin. “Ya sure?”

I smiled, “Herschel as my witness. Just an emotional Lori and me feeling emotional with her. Promise.”

Herschel patted my head as he grabbed a weapon off the table. “This girl has quite the heart like my sweet Beth.” 

And flashed a grin at Daryl, “With Maggie’s grit.”

Daryl chortled at that, “She’s got a meaner streak than Maggie, don’t let them eyes fool ya.”

“Daryl,” I poked his cheek, ignoring the glower he sent my way as he jerked his head away, “you act like that’s a surprise.”

Herschel chuckled, looking over at Daryl, “Well, let’s hope you never get to see Maggie’s mean streak.”

“That’s why there’s that saying,” I shrugged. Both men looked at me with confusion.

“What saying?” Herschel asked me.

“Herschel, don’t you know that you don’t mess with daddy’s girls?” I asked him. “ ‘Cause chances are their daddy’s taught them how to land a punch and Maggie’s a Daddy’s girl.” I nodded, repeating a saying I heard before. “That’s why she’s tough.”

Herschel blinked at me in surprise, “Oh?”

“You saying you’re a daddy’s girl?” Daryl asked, shock on his face.

I blinked at him. “Nope,” I responded. “Never met him but you taught me better than how to land a punch. I know how to hunt and got a bow.” I grinned at him before walking off, seeing Rick pull a helmet out of Carl’s hands.

“You won't need that. I need you to stay put.” He pocketed an extra gun from the table.

Carl was in disbelief. “You're kidding!” 

I grabbed Carl’s hand blinking up at him as he glared down at me. “We’re gonna need you, too,” I told him softly. 

Especially Lori.

Carl’s glare lessened as Rick grasped onto my comment to him. “We don't know what's in there. Something goes wrong, you could be the last man standing. I need you to handle things here.” He handed Carl the keys instead, imploringly. 

“Please, Carl,” I begged, pulling his arm toward the cells.

Carl looked at the keys in his hand, looking down at me and to his dad with a sigh. “Sure..” He muttered as I pulled him with me behind the cell door he locked behind us, looking at others.

Rick looked at the both of us, sending me a wink, before turning around. “Great. Let's go.”


	17. Bow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm spoiling you all with two chapters in one day so you don't have to wait either a whole week or till Friday for another chapter. I may upload another chapter on Friday....maybe...  
> As always, I reread my chapters prior to submitting, so no one but me is editing them. If you see any mistakes, that is all on me.
> 
> Towards the end might be a bit heavy.

The narrow hall was dark, as the group went down, Glenn taking a moment to spray paint an arrow along the wall. Maggie kept close to Glenn, eyes drifting from wall to wall, anxious that something was going to come about the corner. Daryl and Rick seemed to be the only two that visibly looked like they kept a level head. Not betraying their inner turmoil. Herschel was surprisingly calm for being on a run of this magnitude.

“Feeling good, Herschel?” Rick asked, wondering if the man felt any form of anxiety doing this run with them.

“I’m fine,” he patted the armor on his chest, “gives a man some sense of security.” He joked.

Rick let out a short laugh, “I can imagine.”

“You have to have a secret on what keeps you calm, Daddy.” Maggie threw out a hint, hoping he can share his secret so she doesn’t feel jumping at every shadow.

“It’s a multitude of things, really,” he confessed, “right now I’m just reeling at what a little girl told me.”

“What did Cielo say now?” T-Dog asked, hoping it was something he could laugh at.

“How you don’t mess with Daddy girls because chances are their daddy’s taught them how to land a punch.”

Rick and T-Dog laughed quietly while Maggie thought over what her father said, trying to understand how the little girl made that connection. Glenn, the clueless man, stated the obvious. “But she didn’t have a dad to be there.”

Daryl stayed quiet, feeling the older man’s eyes burn a hole through the back of his neck. “No, she reckons that she found someone better to teach her how to hunt and use a bow instead.” Thankfully, the old man did the shy hunter a favor. “We only got on that topic because I said she has a heart as big as Beth and Maggie’s grit.” Maggie beamed at that.

“You’re telling me,” Rick joined in. “Think she took a page out of Beth’s book. She gave me an in to get Carl to stay. Walked over, grabbed his hand, and looked up at him with those big eyes saying that they need him with a pretty please at the end.” 

“Oh, she’s batting her eyes at Carl now?” Maggie teased the ex-sheriff. Daryl felt tense, unsure if the little girl was developing a crush on the older boy. When do girls start developing crushes?

“Lord help whoever that girl picks,” Rick scoffed, motioning at Glenn to make an arrow before he forgets. “She’ll run circles around him if he ain’t careful.”

“She already runs Carl in circles,” T-Dog laughed. “If she helped you trick him into staying, who knows what else she’s tricked him into.” 

For some reason, imagining the little girl being the one to be running in circles comes to mind. The thought made him nervous. He knew how men thought and as a teenager, it was worse. The idea of those eyes flashing with pain didn’t sit well with Daryl’s stomach. Hell, he hated it when she so much as looked at his way when she was upset about Terry losing his leg, and it was a toy!

“Now you’re making me nervous,” Rick laughed.

“Oh, what damage can a seven year old do?” Maggie teased. “I’ll be more worried if she was Carl’s age.”

“She’ll trick any fool who will fall for a pretty face, mark my words,” Herschel told them.

“Well,” Daryl snapped. “She don’t gotta worry ‘bout that for a long time. Now, quit yer blabberin’. I ain’t gonna have a dozen of those freaks sneak on me.”

Everyone looked at the angry man in surprise, except for one. Rick raised a hand and motioned to go forward silently, not wanting to further aggravate the man. Glenn sprayed an arrow when they made another turn around the corner. Hearing rats squeaking and rustling over the scattered paper on the floor. When Glenn went to shake the spray can, the movement surprised Maggie, who let out a shriek. Squeezing her eyes shut, mentally berating herself, she turned to the group. “Sorry.”

Soon enough, the dreaded sounds of walkers began to echo down the hall. They turned around, running back in the direction they were heading from before being cut off by a group of walkers coming down a separate hallway.

“Go back!” Someone shouted.

* * *

I sat on the stairs, looking at Carl pacing by the cell door he locked just thirty minutes ago. “You’re going to make a hole in the ground,” I teased. He momentarily stopped to glare up at me before taking a seat on the bench.

“Hate having to wait while they’re down there,” He mumbled. Thankfully, the cell block amplified the sound. “I feel useless.”

“You,” I started, “the thirteen year old who is a good head taller than me, feels like he can’t do anything?” I deadpanned. He took one look at me and was about to say something before he realized I was right.

“How do you do it?” he asked me. 

I tilted my head. “Different ways really.” I got up and started walking down the stairs. “One of them was playing card games with you. The second option was to read a book.” I stood in front of him with a slight glare. “The other was making your mom laugh so she won’t cry.”

He glared up at me. “Don’t tell me-”

“Do you know your mom is scared she won’t live after having the baby? She’s convinced that she will die.” I laid it on him. He looked shocked, trying to figure out if I was lying, just to say something to get him to talk to her. I pressed on.

“She also thinks that you hate her,” I told him, crossing my arms across my tiny body. “Even if you don’t hate her, she thinks you do and knowing that, she’s worried she’ll become a walker to hurt you and the baby.” My glare not letting up. “My Mami worried she would hurt me like a walker just like yours is right now. The difference is, my Mami did become a walker who would have gotten me if I didn’t run away. Your mom is alive. My Mami’s worst nightmare almost came true.”

Carl pouted, actually pouted, as he looked at the ground. “You don’t have to do anything crazy other than just talk to your mom. It can be about the baby. How she’s feeling. If she needs you to do something for her. It’ll make her happy.” I told him, walking towards the cell door locking us in.

I grabbed onto one of the bars, looking at the size and width with a grin, finally over the embarrassment of the missing front tooth. I looked over to see if Carl was looking before I attempted it. Thankfully, for myself and maybe Lori, Carl was looking at the keys in his hand, thinking about what I said. I turned sideways and tried squeezing through the bars. Before I knew it, I was on the other side. I squeezed through the bars again, giggling at the discovery. 

I went to go up the stairs to see Carol staring down at me from the second-floor landing, eyes silently telling me to get up there. Bashfully, I walked past Carl and up the stairs, knowing the look Carol gave me. It was a mom's look. Slowly, I walked by Lori’s cell to see her sleeping and walked up to Carol who was looking at me with crossed arms.

“First, I don’t want to see you squeeze through any of these bars other than to escape an attack.” She scolded. I nodded, letting out a quiet sigh. “Secondly, you had no right to get into the Grimes’ family problems.” At this, I gaped at her, in shock. I was to just leave it be?!

“You’re supposed to resolve family issues, not pretend they don’t exist!” I told her. 

“Yes, family issues are to be resolved by family,” Carol stressed.

“Aren’t we all family?” I asked her quietly. Carol seemed to be surprised at that. She didn’t say anything before sighing, a small smile to her face as she reached to caress my face. “Yes, we’re all family.”

I beamed up at her. The hand on my face quickly tapped my nose and I blinked in surprise. “You have your moments as a seven year old, like going through the cell bars, and then moments like this and Carl, you act like you’re seventeen years old.”

I grinned up at her, “That means I’m a well-rounded individual.”

Carol barked a quick laugh, that loudly echoed in the room, startling Carl from his thoughts and Beth from a different cell other than hers. Lori, thankfully, remained asleep. I shushed her, motioning towards Lori, eyes twinkling with mischief. She grinned at me, “You, missy, are trouble.”

I sighed dramatically, “That’s what T has been trying to tell you all since the farm. No one listens.”

She bit back another laugh before we heard a door slam open, familiar voices shouting in panic. Her face drained of all blood as mine more than likely did the same. We both ran towards the stairs, Carol making it first with her long legs, both of us worried what went wrong.

Rick shouted as soon as the door slammed open. “Open the door! It's Hershel! Carl! Come on.”

Carl was unlocking the cell door, pulling it open as they wheeled in Herschel, his lower right leg missing. My eyes widened at the sight of blood pooling on the table he has been laying down on.

“Oh, my god.” 

Carol was the one to express how we felt. Beth flew over from the cell that she was exploring, eyes focused on the man lying unconscious, bleeding out. “Daddy!”

Rick started to direct Glenn and Maggie where to turn before the older man was crowded with well-wishers. “Go, go, go, go, go. In there.”

Lori had woken up from her nap, her steady steps rattling the metal stairs, already standing by the table faster than I blinked, “Turn it. Turn it”

I looked around, panicking that something also happened to Daryl and T-Dog. I saw both men come in, bodies facing the door that they just came through, as if they were expecting another attack. I felt relieved that everyone else came out okay, now being able to focus on the one who wasn’t.

“He got bit,” Daryl notified us.

Beth moaned, hands shaking in the direction they took her father. “Oh, my God, he's gonna turn!” I looked from outside of the cell, feeling useless again, wishing that I was a nurse like Mami. She probably would know what to do. I patted my face, refusing to cry. Herschel was hurt, not dead. 

Yet.

Lori turned her head to Rick. “Did you cut it off?”

Rick couldn’t take his eyes off of the limb that he hacked off just moments before. “Yeah..”

Lori nodded, looking back at the leg, being optimistic. “Maybe you got it in time.”

Rick turned to Glenn and Maggie, gesturing to something that I couldn’t see. “Ready?”

“Okay,” a quiet voice answered.

Rick counted, “One, two, three.” They lifted Herschel with a grunt, transferring him over to the lowest bunk bed. 

Carol’s voice was heard inside the cell, being the only one amongst us currently with any medical knowledge as she was Herschel’s pupil the months leading to Lori’s labor. “Oh, god.” She took a breath. “Oh! Oh, I need bandages.”

Glenn’s panicked voice answered her. “We used everything we had!”

Carol snapped, unused to the pressure, especially for an area Herschel hasn’t trained her in. “Well, get more. Anything!”

Lori was the lifesaver with a level head. “Carl, go get the towels from the back, right next to my bed.” Carl turned around, sparing me a quick glance before running up the stairs and doing as he was told. Maggie and Beth were both sobbing in the small cell with their father.

“Is he gonna die?” Beth asked, the sobs almost making the words to sound jumbled. Lori stopped kneeling over Herschel and went to lend a shoulder for the young woman. 

“No, no, no. He's gonna be okay. He's gonna be okay.” Lori soothed her, softly wiping the tears off her face with the back of her hand. Maggie placed her head on Beth’s shoulder, both daughters not removing their eyes from their father.

Rick looked over at Carol who was sitting on the bed with Herschel. “You think you can stabilize him?”

Carol finally had a moment to recuperate, a clearer head. “I need to keep his leg elevated. Get some pillows!”

“On it!” I shouted, going to the nearest cells no one was inhabiting and snatching pillows from the lower bunks, not wasting time with the top bunks. I was only able to squeeze three pillows under each arm before running back to hand them over to Carol, who was stacking the thin pillows under the leg.

“He's already bled through the sheets...” Maggie was horrified, looking at the blood. The quick glance I saw had me feeling queasy. I reached up to hold Maggie’s hand in mine, trying to give her some comfort. “He’ll make it. Herschel’s tough.” I told her, holding back the tears in my eyes. It really was a lot of blood.

Glenn had a thought come to mind. “We can burn the wound to clot the blood. I can start a fire.”

Beth looked up at Glenn, shaking her head, tears falling freely. “No,” she pleaded with Glenn, “please, don't do this.”

Carol saved the younger Greene girl from the idea. “No, the shock could kill him. It's not gonna stop the arteries from bleeding. We need to just keep it dressed and let it heal on its own.” I looked at Carol in shock. Leave it alone? His leg can keep bleeding if we just leave it alone!

“There isn’t anything to hold the arteries closed? Like stitching them?” I asked, hopeful. 

Carol looked over at me sadly. “I would need sutures for that but we don’t have any.”

“Oh, God,” Maggie whispered, letting go of my hand and turning into Glenn, crying.

I nodded, understanding what she said and left the cell, afraid if I stayed there for a second longer, I would be crying with both Maggie and Beth. I looked around the room, looking for Daryl, hoping he could say something that would cheer me up, or give a shoulder. Confused, I noticed that the cell door was closed again. I walked over to see on the other side were T-Dog, Daryl, and Rick. The three of them were staring at five men in prison jumpsuits. I stayed put, unsure of what was going on.

“There ain't nothing for you here. Why don't you go back to your own sandbox?” Daryl scowled at the men, looking down the crossbow, waiting for one of them to make the wrong move.

Rick raised his hands, trying to be the peacekeeper. “Hey, everyone relax. There's no need for this.”

“How many of you are in there?” One of the prisoners demanded to know. 

Rick kept it simple. “Too many for you to handle.”

The same voice questioned Rick. “You guys rob a bank or something?” Gears in his head-turning. “Why don't you take him to a hospital?”

Rick, Daryl, and T-Dog looked at the five men in disbelief. Daryl lowered the crossbow a bit as Rick asked them. “How long have you been locked in that cafeteria?”

“Going on like 10 months.” The angry man answered.

The bigger, bearded man added the bigger picture to Rick. “A riot broke out. Never seen anything like it.”

“Attica on speed, man.” The man with the big mustache added, nodding his head quickly.

The smaller black man next to the angry man shifted his weight between his feet as if he is ready to run from the memory itself. “Ever heard about dudes going cannibal, dying, coming back to life? Crazy.”

Big, bearded man asked Rick, “So what is this, like a disease?” 

That big man is the best question the five of you have even bothered to ask.

Rick nodded, leaning against a table that was in there. “Yeah, and we're all infected.”

It was silent for a moment as the twitchy mustache man asked, “What do you mean infected? Like AIDS or something?” 

What in the world is AIDS?   


Daryl was annoyed with the prisoners now, crossbow still armed to kill one of them. “If I was to kill you,” Daryl hissed, “shoot an arrow in your chest, you'd come back as one of these things. It's gonna happen to all of us.”

“Ain't no way these Robin Hood cats responsible for killing all these freaks that were roaming around.” The angry man scoffed. “Where'd you come from?”

Rick shrugged, “Atlanta.”

“Where are you headed?” Angry man persisted.

Rick kept the nonchalant behavior. “For now, nowhere.”

Angry man laughed, “I guess you can take that area down there, near the water. Should be comfortable.”

Rick didn’t rise to the baiting. “We're using that field for crops.”

“We'll help you move your gear out.” Angry man hissed out.

Rick shook his head, “Nah, that won't be necessary. You see, we took out these walkers. This prison is ours.”

Angry man laughed. “Slow down, cowboy.”

The short man moved close, to back up the angry man. “You snatched the locks off our doors!”

“We'll give you new locks if that's how you want it.” Rick cheekily replied.

“This is our prison.” Angry man pointed at the floor. “We were here first.”

Rick laughed at that. “Locked in a broom closet?” That made the angry man angrier. “We took it, set you free.” Rick stresses, “It's ours. We spilled blood.”

“We're moving back into our cellblock.” Angry man pointed my way, staring at Rick.

“You'll have to get your own.” 

Mustache man stopped the angry man from approaching Rick, Daryl immediately raised the crossbow. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Maybe let's try to make this work out so everybody wins.”

“I don't see that happening,” Angry man glared over at Rick.

“Neither do I,” he glared back.

Angry man looked down at mustache man. “I ain't going back in that cafeteria for one more minute!” He looked at the three men in front of him, scoffing. “If these three pussies can do all this, the least we can do is take out another cell block.”

Beard man looked at the angry man. “With what?”

“Atlanta here will spot us some real weapons.” Angry man grinned over at Rick. “Won't you, boss?”

Absolutely not! 

Shocked, I looked back at Rick. Is this what they mean by watching a tennis match? Because watching the angry man and Rick go at it feels like one.

“How stocked is that cafeteria? It must have plenty of food. Five guys lasting almost a year?” Rick countered.

They have a kitchen?

Daryl chimed in. “It sure as hell don't look like anybody's been starving.”

Angry man’s jaw clenched. “There's only a little left.” 

Liar.

“We'll take half. In exchange,” Rick bargained, crossing his arms, “we'll help clear out a cell block.”

Short man growled. “Didn't you hear him? There's only a little left.”

Rick shrugged, not caring about their dilemma. “Bet you got more food than you got choices. You pay, we'll play. We'll clear out a block for you, then you keep to it.”

Angry man nodded. “All right…”

“But let's be clear--” Rick leaned off the table he was resting against. “If we see you out here anywhere near our people, if I so much as even catch a whiff of your scent, I will kill you.”

Angry man didn’t even look at the others. “Deal.”

I squeezed through the bars, remembering something important. The first person to notice me was the twitchy mustache man. “Holy shit,” he exclaimed, “it’s a kid!”

T-Dog, Daryl, and Rick all looked at me with different degrees of a scolding in their eyes. “Kiddo,” T-Dog hissed at me, “what are you doing?”

I blinked up at the five men, who all turned to stare at me in different stages of shock, tilting my head. “What’s your name?” I asked the mustache man.

He smiled, “I’m Axel.” He pointed to the other men next to him. “This is Big Tiny, Oscar, Andrew, and Tomas. How about you?”

“How did you get through the door?” Rick angrily asked. I blinked up at him, thinking it was obvious.

“I’m tiny, I can squeeze through. Besides,” I grinned, “you made a deal and once a deal is made, it can’t be broken.” I scrunch my nose after that, “not without consequences anyway.”

“It’s a fucking kid.” Tomas laughed in disbelief.

“If she made it, then that means my kids did too, right?” Oscar looked at Big Tiny, a bit relieved. 

“Cielo, go back, now,” Daryl growled at me.

“I only came here to say that if you’re going to the kitchen, check for honey.” I pouted.

“Honey?” T-Dog yelled. “You came out here to ask for honey?”

“Ah, Cielito,” Tomas grinned. “Quieres un bon bon tambien?”

“Nope,” I answered Tomas as Daryl swung the crossbow to Tomas. “Don’t talk to her!”

“I don’t take candy from strangers.” I finished and then I looked at Rick, “The honey isn’t for me, it’s for Herschel’s leg.”

Rick looked confused, “Why would honey work for Herschel’s leg?”

“Mami was a nurse,” I told him. “When we couldn’t get anything for cuts she used honey because she said it’s antibacterial and antifungal.”

T-Dog and Rick shared a look. “And it’s good for healing wounds,” I added. Daryl’s eyes narrowed in on me for a second, knowing I was going to be in trouble later. I tilted my head at him. “What?”

“These men are prisoners for committing a serious crime and you just stroll in here like it’s fine?” Daryl hissed at me. I blinked over at the men again, seeing Tomas’s smirk, and blinked at them while replying to Daryl.

“I shove a knife into Mr. Lollipop’s head if he’s that dangerous.” I replied, shocking the five men in front of me before grinning over at Daryl, “and you’ll shoot them in the head too. So, I’m not worried.”

I looked over at the five prisoners again, who were still shocked, waving at Axel. “Bye Axel!”

“Did she just say she’ll shove a knife into a head?” Axel’s terrified voice echoed behind me. "What kind of world are we living in?"  


“Cielo!” The three men angrily yelled at me. 

“Going!” I shouted, squeezing through the bars. I went over to check on Herschel, seeing he looked paler than when I last saw him. Sighing, I inwardly cringed at the upcoming punishment but if it helps Herschel then I’ll deal with it. Carol must have seen the look on my face thinking it was all for Herschel, which in a roundabout way, it was.

“Herschel will be okay,” Carol said, trying to cheer me up.

“Oh, I know he will. I won’t be when Rick, Daryl, and T come back.” I sighed.

Both Glenn and Carol looked at me confused. “Why,” Carol asked, “what did you do?”

I sheepishly gave her a smile, flashing my big eyes, “I may have squeezed through the bars to tell them to bring honey with there being prisoners.”

“Wait,” Glenn shook his head as Carol very calmly said, “What?”

“You can squeeze through these cell bars…” Glenn started, catching Maggie's attention.

“You asked for honey?” Carol asked me.

“With the prisoners standing there?” they asked simultaneously, one voice more frantic than the other. Maggie looked at me in horror. 

“Why would you do that?” Maggie asked me.

“Because the honey is antimicrobial, antifungal, and good for healing wounds.” I defended myself. “I know it can’t heal his leg but it can help from getting infected! Mami was a nurse,” I looked at the three of them, “it’s what she did for me when things went bad.”

Carol was too calm. That was scary. “I did it for Herschel!” I told her. “I want him to get better!”

“Go to your cell,” Carol ordered me, “now.”

I blinked at her in surprise. She’s never told me to go to a room when I got in trouble with her. She always talked about why I did something bad. Confused, I looked at Glenn and Maggie, both shaking their heads at me. I looked back at Carol before leaving the cell, doing as she asked. I went up the stairs and went to the cell I picked, reaching for my backpack to read the newest book, Graceling. 

I waited, not really able to read the fantasy world that Katsa lives in. Once I knew what my punishment would be, it would be somewhat of a relief because that meant I could concentrate again. I cringed when the cellblock door slammed open, Daryl’s yell bellowing throughout the place not even seconds later. “Cielo!”

I put the book down, biting my lip nervously as I stepped out of the cell, Carol standing next to him. Daryl’s eyes zeroed in on me, nostrils flared, covered in walkers blood and rotting flesh. “Git yer ass down ‘ere, now!” Accent thicker than before.

Yeah, definitely not a happy camper. I walked slowly on the second floor landing before rounding the corner to the stairs. “Girl! I said now!” he yelled once more, attracting the attention of everyone in the cell block. I winced, walking a little faster down the stairs, hands clutching at each other thinking how I should have gotten Terry.

“Was there any honey?” I asked him, giving enough distance between me and the man.

“Forget the honey!” Daryl shouted, slinging off his crossbow and nearly throwing it onto the table beside him. I jumped at the sound of the crossbow hitting the metal table. In one stride, Daryl grabbed my arm, pulling me closer to him. “I should tan yer hide for doin’ sumthin’ as stupid as ya did!”

My face must have blanched because Carol stepped in. “Daryl, it’s best if-”

“No,” he let go of my arm and turned his entire body to turn to Carol, who looked up at the taller man, shrinking back slightly. “She’s my damn responsibility,” he shouted at her. Veins bulging at the side of his neck.

The furious stare went back to me, rubbing his face agitatedly as he was thinking. I blinked up at him, nervous. He really wasn’t going to hit me, right? I glanced over at Rick, who was also warily eyeing the hunter in front of me. Carl was standing beside him, looked nervous and terrified for me. “Eyes o’er here! Rick n’ them ain’t gonna be helping ya.” He roared. My eyes snapped back to him immediately.

He had a gleam in his eyes as if he figured what to do. “Git yer bow.” He said it so quietly, that I almost didn’t hear him. “Git. Yer. Bow, now.”

I nodded, turning around to go get the bow and quiver from my room. I ran up the stairs and to my room faster than I would ever remember. I threw the quiver over my shoulder, bow in hand, upset that I would have to give it back after finally getting it. I didn’t run as fast back to hand him the bow, wanting to hold it in my hand just a little longer. Once I was in front of him, he put a hand out, silently demanding the bow. I placed the bow in his hand, ready to take off the quiver when Daryl swung an arm out and smashed the bow into the wall several times. After nearly a minute, which felt like an eternity to me, Daryl kicked the wooden pieces to the side.

I felt tears burning their way out of my face as I saw the broken bits that was once my bow. There was no repairing it. It didn’t just snap in half. It was snapped, splintered, and demolished. The gift he gave me, gone. I felt my heart breaking as I took in the pieces. A whimper escaped me, clutching onto the strap, scared to hand over the quiver. 

Once the bow was gone, Daryl looked over, hand out for the quiver. I shook my head, sniffling. “Give me the quiver.” He stated specifically, so calmly that it wasn’t natural after how he destroyed the bow. 

I felt tears running down my face, “Not the quiver. I can use it for something else. Let me keep it.” The whine coming out of my mouth, as I tearfully begged him. I was hiccupping, feeling the tightness in my chest once again, feeling it grow with each broken piece of the bow he gave me. Now it was expanding on the quiver.

“Quiver.” His eyes blazed with the demand once more.

“You can hit me but don’t break the quiver, too” I sobbed, pleading with him. “You can hit me. I’ll be okay but not the quiver,” I cried loudly.

Something in Daryl shifted, eyes looking at me without a single emotion. Not even the anger that was there a moment before as he ruined the thing he gave me for Christmas. His fist clenched and unclenched, not saying another word, as I cried, clinging onto the strap for dear life.

“You can hit me,” I wailed, “but let me have the quiver.”

Daryl quickly spun around, grabbing his crossbow, not turning to look at anyone on the way out. He slammed open the door exiting the cell block, leaving the place as fast as he came into it. Once the man was gone, I fell to the floor, crying louder, feeling fat tears to match what I felt inside falling down my cheeks. A pair of hands lifted me off the ground, hugging me close to them, and I clung onto them yowling into their chest.


	18. Dig fast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said before, this season wasn't my total fav and I think it showed in this chapter.
> 
> I'm also happy to know that I'm getting all emotional scenes properly translated into mere words. I do want you to have an idea of how my little character feels.
> 
> Enjoy the weekend!

That night I slept with Carol in her bunk bed, clinging onto poor Terry, tears dried out. Carol tried comforting me by saying that they never saw Daryl that mad before. They knew he had a temper but that was different than anything they have seen before. She said Daryl had a brother who was the one with a really bad temper. He was never that mad at me before. I’ve annoyed him and aggravated him beyond belief, but never mad. To see him that angry at me wasn’t just scary. It hurt. A lot. 

My face was hidden in Terry’s head as Carol placed the bowl of breakfast in front of me. It’s been two days since he yelled and broke my bow. Two days since either one of us talked to the other. I’m not sure if he wants to see me again and that’s what hurts the most. The second I come into view, he gets up and leaves. Lori says he can’t ignore me forever and I think she said something to him because I heard him shout to leave him alone. 

Herschel still wasn’t awake but I’ve been helping Carol lightly dab the honey on his leg, careful to not push hard on the arteries. After Carl went to the infirmary, by himself at that, especially after Carol told me to go to my cell, he found new bandages that we could use for Herschel. Carol showed me how to reapply the bandages on Herschel’s leg correctly, in case no one else can do it. Maggie and Beth both let me do it, watching all the same because they rather I have something to do than stare blankly at walls. Maggie was more vocal about her anger of Daryl, especially to Glenn, who gave her his shoulder to lean on.

I felt a shoulder bump into mine and I looked up to see Carl smiling softly at me. “Hey,” he nodded down at my bowl, “gonna eat that? It’s going to get cold.” I finally focused on what was in front of me. It was oatmeal with two pineapples slices on top. I reached out to grab the spoon and pulled out one of the pineapple slices, taking a bite. My mouth exploded with the sharp sweet taste of pineapple. I took another bite after another and before I knew it, my two slices were gone. Sad, I looked down at the bland oatmeal Carol tries to make taste good with just cinnamon the kitchen had. A spoon threw another pineapple slice on top of my oatmeal and I looked up at Carl. “Pineapple is your favorite, right?” 

I don’t know how he knew but I nodded, “Thank you, Carl.” He smiled at me again before turning to his oatmeal. 

Breakfast was quiet after that. Everyone, but Daryl and Herschel of course, has been talking to me softly like I was going to break if they said something wrong. They all give me a pat to the head or a kiss on the top of my head after trying to see if I was going to cry again. Nobody but Carol was giving me anything to do to pass the time. 

I know I’m a kid but I’m not useless!

I took my book and sat in the chair next to Herschel, reading. He had given us a bad scare two days ago when he stopped breathing for a moment. Lori was the one who saved him, thinking quickly. Maggie and Beth were scared to leave him alone but Carol managed to drag both Greene sisters out of the cell, telling them they needed fresh air. Cell Block C was silent as always. The only sounds being my page-turning and Herschel’s breathing. 

“That’s a new book you’re reading?” A raspy voice groaned out. 

A gasp escaped me as I glanced up to see Herschel’s eyes open up, looking at me tiredly. I closed the book and went to get Carol. “I’m getting Carol!” I told him as I ran out of the cell. I opened the cellblock door, the light momentarily blinding me, as I looked around. There in the distance was Carl with Rick, talking, but then I noticed Carol talking with Maggie and Glenn, as Beth was sitting down, not a part of the conversation.

“Carol!” I shouted, not wanting to be too far from the cell in case I heard something strange. Maggie and Carol both heard me, one looking worried, and the other harder to read. I smiled, “Herschel is up!”

Both women started running towards me as I held the door open, letting them run past me. Glenn stayed trying to get Beth’s attention. I didn’t wait for them and rushed after the women, excited that Herschel was awake. Carol was checking Herschel’s vitals as Maggie said she’ll get a glass of water, leaving the cell crying. I stood at the foot of the bed, watching what Carol was doing quietly. Maggie came in with a glass of water, Beth not far behind, crying happily at seeing Herschel awake and aware of what was happening. Carol smiled at the family and tapped my shoulder, “Let’s give them some space, okay?”

I nodded, following Carol out of the cell to give the family unit some time to themselves. I followed Carol outside the cell block till she turned around, “Sweetie,” she started, “I’m gonna be practicing something gross in a bit.” I blinked up at her, unsure. “I don’t want you seeing what I’m doing so how about you see if Rick will have something for you to do.” She left before I could say a word, let alone move.

I looked over at Rick, twisting Terry’s tail nervously, debating if he really would have something for me to do or if it was a waste of time. Rick gestured at the fields to Carl, likely telling him about the fields that he plans to plant. I know we don’t have any seeds so we can’t plant yet. I sighed and looked around, figuring that there had to be something I could do. I looked over the cars, something Rick had the others bring back yesterday to see T-Dog along the fences, slamming a metal pole into the walkers head, and figured I could do the same. On my walk over, I noticed near the building was Daryl, working on his motorcycle. He still had that scowl on his face, looking at what was wrong with the bike before he looked up at me. I blinked over at him, not wanting to walk over in case he was still mad at me. He didn’t move away from the bike but he quickly looked away. 

That stung a little bit in my chest. 

I started to walk faster towards T-Dog, pulling out the smaller knife I was given, tapping the knife on the fence. “What are you doing here?” I heard T-Dog ask me, surprised.

“Herschel’s up so Carol wanted to give him and the girls space but she’s doing something she doesn’t want me to see,” I answered his question. “I have nothing else to do,” I added with a shrug, sticking the knife into the walkers head. T-Dog just sighed, gesturing at a pile not far from him. ”See if you can lift one of those poles. Save your knife from getting dull.”

I pulled the knife out of the other walker I had just killed before doing what he told me. I didn’t want to put the knife back in the sheath dirty, so I wiped the knife on the bottom of my jeans, remembering an impatient voice telling me that it dulls the blade faster. Bending down, I picked up the lightweight pole and tested it on a walker that was in front of me. As soon as I tried, the back of the pole got stuck by the chain fence behind me, the pole too long. Frowning, I pulled the pole back, and moved along the fence to walkers that were still standing tall. I tried again, shoving the long pole under the walkers chin, stopping its snarls at the both of us. I did this over and over until I felt like my arms were hurting. 

T-Dog seemed to handle it better than I was because he grinned at me. “You did good. Don’t wear yourself out.” He stabbed into another walker's head. I nodded, walking back towards the prison, grabbing Terry from where I dropped him on the floor. Arms sore but still wide awake, I decided to take a seat on one of the tables looking out at the forest on the other side of the fence, watching the sunset. I just pulled on one of Terry’s horns, aware that the glue holding it down was loosening, not caring if I was tearing off the green fabric. Someone sat on the other side of the table but I didn’t bother to look. They’ll tell me what they want to say.

“Cielo,” a gruff voice I haven’t heard in a while muttered quietly.

Surprised, I looked over to see Daryl, fidgeting, not looking directly at me. I said nothing, letting the man find what he wanted to say. I squeezed Terry’s leg, anxious at what Daryl was going to say but he didn’t say anything yet. I waited, watching Daryl become more agitated and frustrated before he huffed, jumping off the seat and stalking off. I frowned, watching as Daryl went back to the bike, lifted a rag, and then throwing it on the ground. A small giggle escaped me at that, starting to understand him a little by just watching him. He felt bad and now he’s mad he couldn’t say sorry. 

Seeing how dark it was getting, I started to head inside feeling a bit lighter than I had in the last two days. 

* * *

Herschel started pushing himself off the bed, leaning on Beth as he situated his crutches, letting out a low grunt. I clutched onto Terry, watching Herschel with a smile, Maggie brightly smiling at seeing her father up and moving after seeing him in a comatose state for three days. I backed out of the cell, seeing Lori and Carl sitting together at a table, looking curiously over at us. “Herschel is going to try walking on the crutches,” I smiled at them, the toothless gap completely a nonissue now. 

Carl and Lori both got up, stopping whatever conversation they had as they were watching Herschel take a step out of the cell. I backed away from the cell, to give Herschel more room to get a hold of the crutches, Beth was with him every step of the way. 

I felt a tug on my sleeve to see Carl squinting at the shirt. "Is that my shirt?" Lori spared a glance at the shirt before biting back the laugh.

I pulled Terry under my chin shyly, "My shirts are too small." Carl glared at me but didn't say anything else. Grinning at up, "I'll give it back." He just sighed in response and looked back at our doctor, who was doing a test run around the room.

"Let’s head out,” Herschel told us, making his way to exit the cell block, “tired of seeing these same four walls.”

No one argued with the older man as he was in high spirits. Instead, we all followed him outside, staying in the cleared courtyard as today Rick, Glenn, and Daryl went to the other courtyard that had walkers. Rick felt that it was left unattended long enough. Carol was the one to open the door to exit the cell block, letting Herschel and Beth pass through, with Maggie right behind him. Carl was the one who held the door open for Lori and me. Herschel reached the stairs leading down to the grassy field by the time we all left the building.

“All right. Just take your time.” Lori let the older man know, the anxiety rolling off her.

Beth agreed. “Daddy, don't push yourself.”

Herschel just chuckled at their responses. “What else am I going to do?” he asked them as he kept moving. “I can't stand looking up at that bottom of that bunk anymore--” He moved too fast to look at Beth, 

“Whoa.” Maggie went to go forward but Lori patted her shoulder, seeing Herschel balance himself quickly. Herschel tapped the crutches with his fingers, looking over his shoulder at both of his daughters.

“You know,” he grinned, “I think I'm pretty steady.”

Carl and I returned the grin, Carl running ahead of me down the stairs, me following behind him. Lori let out a sigh, looking over at Maggie, silently communicating with the woman. Maggie let out a laugh as she saw me jump up, almost knocking Carl’s hat off his head, shouting, “Hey!” I ran around T-Dog to avoid Carl, laughing as the boy missed to avoid colliding with T-Dog, Carl attempting to catch me another way. 

The adults shook their heads at us grinning, not saying anything as I ran around, Carl right on my heels. “Full of energy, aren’t they?” Carol looked over at the exhausted bald man, who was eyeing the two. “If I had half of that energy…” T-Dog mumbled.

Herschel agreed, beginning to move again with Beth starting to let go of his elbow a bit more. Lori stepped off the stairs and onto the grass, an arm cradling her stomach as she did, Maggie right behind her. Lori watched as Herschel was moving on the uneven surface of the grassy field.

“That's a good start. Want to take a rest?” She asked, not wanting the injured man to push too far. Doctors are known to be the worst patients themselves and Lori didn’t want to put that saying to the test.

Herschel looked at Lori offended, “Rest?” He chuckled, facing forward. “Let's go for a little stroll.” Beth right behind her stubborn father, grinning all the same.

Lori looked at Maggie, exasperated. “Hey, you watch your step. The last thing we need is you falling!” Lori called after him. Maggie wrapped an arm around Lori, leaning her head on the taller woman's shoulder. “He’s too stubborn to let a missing leg beat him.”

Carl finally caught me, poking at my sides in revenge before he saw Herschel strut by. I looked up to see what managed to stop Carl from tickling me, eyes begging for help. The older man let out a laugh, “You made your point clear, let her go.” Carl looked down at me, as if he was thinking about it, but did as Herschel asked. I ran off further into the field before he changed his mind.

Glenn’s shouting was heard across the field. “All right, Herschel!”

Beth was starting to give Herschel more leeway than when she first was by his side, nearby just in case. “You're doing great, daddy.”

Carl grinned up at Herschel. “Ready to race?”

The man chuckled again, happy that Carl wasn’t treating him as an invalid. “Give me another day. I'll take you on.”

Carl laughed, happy to see the man in higher spirits. Before anyone could say anything else growling snarls were echoing in the field. At first, I thought it was where Rick took Glenn and Daryl, so I didn’t think much of it till Carl shouted.

“Walkers! Look out!”

“No!” Rick roared, but I didn’t dare to look because there were three walkers headed towards me. Not thinking, I ran to the first space I saw without any of the rotting corpses, trying to make my way back to the cell block. Carl, Herschel, and Beth had an easier time of it as they already were closer to the building than I was halfway in the field. “Cielo!” Lori shouted.

I looked around to see that there were more to my left, blocking me off from attempting to go back, so I looked right, trying to see if there was a way to move around them. “Cielo, move!” Rick yelled.

Startled, I looked around me to see the only way out was to just run to the right and plan from there. I did that, running towards the right, eyes darting around me trying to see where I could go, where I could hide, but the field was too open. Looking at the fence, I ran for it, figuring I could start climbing out of the walkers reach and go from there. Looking at Terry, I let go, knowing I would need both hands to use for the fence. I gripped it and started pulling up, trying to get a good grip with my feet into the fence. I didn’t get too far before my left foot slipped out, the boots not working well. Whimpering, I looked behind me when I heard a snarl too close for my liking. 

There was one walker, clothes ripped, face dropping down its chin from the length of time it was dead. It’s blackened teeth gnashed in my direction, eyes clouded over. Behind him were several more. Giving up on climbing the fence, I panted as I ran along it, looking for any imperfections, lungs sucking in air greedily. Ignoring the group of walkers that were clustering together behind me. 

People in prisons tried to escape all the time, right?

“Cielo, get to Herschel!” Daryl yelled. I looked over at the man, gripping onto the fence that he was on, unable to come towards me. Glenn was behind him, hands on his head, pacing back and forth looking behind me. Rick had a hand covering the lower half of his face, eyes darting around the field as well, likely trying to help me find a place to go. I looked over to see that Herschel and Beth had managed to close themselves off from the walkers, but they were just blocked in. “I can’t!” I yelled back at him, eyes darting around me.

Further ahead, I saw what looked like someone was trying to dig underneath the fence. Pushing my legs to run harder, I fell forward, using my hands to continue digging the spot that was started for me. “No, Bambi, no!” Daryl yelled over to me, but I kept digging, pushing the dirt to the side at the bottom of the fence. I ripped away the grass to see that it was loose. “Don’t stay there!” Daryl yelled.

He didn’t see the grass that was piled here was already loose. Someone dug at the hole a little every day and the bottom of the fence was completely exposed. I looked over my shoulder, seeing that the small group of roughly eight walkers that was behind me became twenty. Heart beating harder against my chest, I dug my fingers under the chain fence to give myself more room to wiggle under. “Cielo!” Rick yelled. 

I pushed the bottom of the fence, feeling it give enough, and I dove for it. The bottom of the fence scrapped at my back as I pushed against the solid ground. It hurt a lot, but if I didn’t keep pushing underneath it, what the walkers would do will hurt a lot more. The memory of Patricia and Dale being eaten in front of me will never go away. I pushed myself up on the other side, arms and upper body finally free from the fence, a hand tugging me back. A curdled scream left me as I flipped over, seeing the walker's face closest to my leg, kicking it away with my other foot.

“Cielo!” an anguished cry yelled out.

Ripping the knife from my belt, I sat up, shoving it repeatedly into the face of the walkers that closed in on my leg. I pulled my feet hard underneath me, happy that I got out in one piece. I laid there for a moment, staring at the gnashing faces that nearly had gotten me, pushing on the fence. “I’m okay,” I whispered in shock. Remembering that it must have looked bad, I shouted the next one. “I’m okay!”

I got up, walking in the direction the other three men were along the fence, finally managing to poke my head around the large group of walkers. Daryl was curled up in a ball, hands on his head, muttering something under his breath. Glenn was crying, face red and splotchy staring at the horde where I was and Rick had his head staring up at the sky, his adam's apple bobbing as if trying not to cry. I shook the fence, startling the three men to look up. “I said I was okay.” I told them.

Daryl was the first to run over, kneeling at the fence, looking me over red-eyed. “Ya sure? Any bites? Scratches?” His fingers curled over the fence and I reached out, rubbing his knuckles with my fingertips, trying to calm him down.

“If you’re okay, why did you scream?” Glenn shouted at me over Daryl’s shoulder. I looked at Glenn, frowning. “ ‘Cause one of them pulled my foot before I stabbed it?” My answer came out more like a question but Rick laughed at the absurdity of it all.

I looked back at Daryl, who didn’t say anything else for a moment, lips shaking. I smiled at him, going to say something before I heard a snarl to my left. Looking over, I saw some walkers coming from out of the woods, who must have heard me scream earlier. I looked at the three men inside the fence, all three were petrified at the walkers appearing. I grasped tightly onto Daryl's fingers, forcing the man to look at me. “You’ll find me. Don’t forget to check the trees, too.”

With that, I ran off, noticing some walkers were attempting to crawl underneath the fence as well. The fence rattled behind me, Daryl yelling out, as I passed the first line of trees. I kept to a straight line as much as possible to not get lost in the woods. Again.

Seemed like luck felt it helped enough because straight ahead were a few walkers heading towards me. Normally, I would do my best at taking them down just like Daryl taught me all winter and spring, but I haven't done so after running from a whole horde. A loud blaring alarm came from behind me, momentarily distracting me from the walkers in front and behind me. Letting out a whine, I inspected what was around me, trying to figure out what to do now. That’s going to bring more walkers not just to the prison but my way too. Glancing at the tree next to me, I frowned. Too wide, even with a belt.

I leaned against the tree, looking at both to my left and right, keeping an eye on them as I rested, hand on my knife in its sheath. I waited there until one of the two groups was close before making another run straight, keeping in mind to get back to the prison, I had to go right. I managed to get a decent amount of distance between me and the walkers. As I was about to take another step forward, a hand reached out, nearly having my leg in its grasp. I twisted quickly to the side, slipping on the leaves before actually falling over, landing hard on my back.

Confused, I looked up to see a walker was leaning against a tree, hole in its chest from more than likely a gunshot. Seeing me motivated the walker into standing up, to get to me, the first meal it has likely seen since it was there. Not wanting to waste time, I got up and kicked the back of the walkers knee, forcing it to fall face forward. Not losing momentum, I swung at the back of the walkers head with my knife, the familiar crunching sound reaching my ears. 

Relief went through me-for a second at least.

Not long after I killed this walker, the group I managed to keep away was already within walking distance. 

“Well, shit…” I muttered, knowing no one can yell at me for that.


	19. Dammit!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Few f-bombs dropped here.
> 
> I'm not going to delude myself into thinking teenagers don't say or hear worse things at school and if there is anyone who is 13 to 18, clearly you heard and seen things on this show worse than what I have written so far.
> 
> As for a possible update this Friday, I don't I will be emotionally able to do so. This Thursday I'm more than likely going to say good-bye to my 17 year old cat whose been with me since elementary school and if I wanted to get a masters degree, she would have been here for that too. That's EXACTLY how long I've had her and she is my baby.
> 
> I only say more than likely because coming home from work she was better than when I left but I'm not sure if that was her putting on a show for me to make me feel better.

I snorted awake, feeling a bit weightless until the belt held me still. Groaning, I leaned forward, stretching my back that was leaning against the tree trunk. This was so much easier just a few months ago. Not once did I almost roll off a tree. I never even used a belt to hold me to the tree either! So what gives?

Letting out a quiet sigh, I turned my head to take a quick peek at the ground. There was a lone walker ambling below me, directionless, which didn’t cause me any worry. I was more worried about the others at the prison. It’s been two days and I’m still out here, somewhere in the woods. Seems like the woods is full of walkers that were shot down. Might’ve been nice if that someone actually shot those walkers in the head before they became walkers so I wouldn’t have gotten turned around so much!

I sat back up with another sigh, starting to undo the belt that held me strapped to the tree branch, advice from Rick that I’m currently grateful for. I slipped the belt around the waist of my pants, sliding the sheath and knife into its respective place on the belt. Another cursory glance at the ground, not including the lonely walker I’ve seen, the coast was clear. I made my way down the tree, landing with a loud thud, legs wobbly and unstable. Taking a small step forward, I ignored the excited growls of the walker behind me, getting a better balance of my legs. Wiggling the toes inside my boots, frowning at the cramped feeling I was getting. “I need new shoes again,” I muttered, taking out the knife. 

I turned around, walking towards the walker who was desperate to reach me. A quick kick to the knee, which surprisingly shattered, the walker fell hard on it’s back, the sound of its skull breaking immediately reached my ears. It stopped moving. Confused, I looked behind the woman's skull to see if she landed on a rock, but it was just the ground. Maybe its bones were weak?

I reached for a finger, noticing it had a blue stone ring on a silver band, and pulled it slightly to the side. The finger snapped off without a fight. Curiosity sated, I pulled on the ring, noticing it matched the necklace around my neck, hidden under my shirt. Putting it closer to my face I noticed the little stone had faded lines on it. Not the same as the one I had, but it was close. I put the ring on my thumb, admiring the braided design of the ring, thinking it might be on the girly side if I tried giving it to Daryl. We could match a little bit with the blue stones but I don’t think he would like it.

Sighing, I looked at where the walker was coming from and figured to go that way. If I can get out of the woods I might be able to find a place to get food and water. I found out my slingshot is currently useless. All my slingshot does is knock a squirrel out of a tree. Alive. 

I kinda need it to not be alive so I can try to eat it.

Getting up, I started making my way where the walker came from. I listened to what was around, being aware of my surroundings as I made my way through the woods. Every once in a while, I stopped to pick up a rock that was decently sized before putting it in my pocket, throwing out one that I felt was the worst of the bunch. Before I knew it, the woods opened up to a road with a town not far from the right of me. Feeling like luck is on my side once more, I walked towards the town, ignoring the aching gnaw that was growing in my stomach.

The first few stores didn’t look worth much. Pet store, beauty salon, a karate studio, a bank. Nothing that would hold any value now. I checked the cars as I made it through the town, looking to see if there was a granola bar in a glove compartment. Supplies in the trunk of the car, even though if there were any, I would have to climb in first and that didn’t feel safe. Anything and anyone can trap me in the trunk of a car. I kept searching for either a store or a car with some goods when I noticed something strange. Straight ahead, there were a few bottles of water with what looked like doughnuts in a bag.

I stopped, staring at the bag of frosted doughnuts, trying to remember when was the last time I saw one. I licked my lips. 

Daryl taught me the rule of three’s, saying every hunter needs to know it. Luckily, the weather has been warming up and summer isn’t too far around the corner, so shelter isn’t a problem yet. The rule of three I’m in danger of is water. I can’t survive three days without it and while it hasn’t been a full two days since I had water, I’m too close to three days without water.

Warily, I looked around, trying to see who left the water and food there. There was one car on the street but lots of buildings on the other side of it. Crouching, I checked for any feet under the car, seeing none. Standing up again, feeling a bit woozy at the moment, I ran for it. I grabbed a bottle with one hand and the bag with the other. It didn’t take long for someone to start shouting at me. I turned the next street, looking for a place to hide and grinned. Someone is looking out for me today. This whole street was full of cars and stores with open doors. I ran into the closest building with the door open, slamming the door behind me. 

Twisting the cap off the bottle, I took three large gulps of water, listening to the store in front of me and the people outside. Closing the water, I looked at the doughnuts, excited to start eating when I heard one of the people outside. “Fucking shit!” a guy yelled. “That kid can be anywhere on this street! Check the cars!”

“Now, calm down,” another voice answered him. “We’ll find him. Don’t get your panties up in a bunch.”

Something about that voice didn’t sound right. I grabbed the bottle and bag, walking further into the store looking for the back door, listening for any sudden growls or footsteps. I immediately saw two doors, unsure which one was which since this place didn't have an exit sign over the back door. I walked to the one I was closest to, listening to the other side and heard nothing. I leaned away from the door and started to pay attention to the front door where the shouts were coming from earlier. 

Stomach rumbling, I felt a painful twist in my belly. Looking at the bag of doughnuts in hand, I carefully started pulling at the paper bag, unrolling it. Having one doughnut wouldn’t hurt. I reached in the bag, the plastic rustling a little too loud for my ears as I pulled out one frosted doughnut, nervously looking in the direction of the front door as I did. When all was well and convinced that no one was going to come through that door, I took a bite. The powder from the doughnut melted on my tongue but the stale bread that was supposed to be the doughnut was tough. 

I sat down, leaning against the door, figuring that the people looking for me passed by. I chewed on the tough doughnut, taking a better glance at what kind of store I walked into. A muffled giggle left me, speckles of the doughnut flying from my mouth.

I found a shoe store.

A loud thud banged against the door I was sitting against. I heavily swallowed the doughnut that almost got stuck in my throat, staring nervously at the door that was behind me. That is definitely not the door to open. As I got up, the front door slammed open, and I nervously backed up to the door. Two men came in, scanning the room for me. I stayed still. If I moved they might see me.

I listened to the boots that were slamming harshly against the floor. I inwardly cringed at each step that came my way. One of the men went to the other door, which I now know to be the back door, shaking his head. “Kid out there?” the man asked, which another responded outside. Biting my lips, I was glad at the moment I didn’t go near or out that door. He closed the door with a tsk.

“Hell that kid go.” he snarled.

“Oh,” I snapped my head up, seeing a third man smirk down at me. “I’d say the kid enjoyed their doughnut, didn’t you?” I blinked up at him, clinging the bottle of water close to me. The man gestured to his face. “Got something on yer face.”

Slowly, I reached up, wiping away the powder from the doughnut. Looking down, I focused on the weird metal thing that was his arm, it had a knife sticking out the side. Not bothering with the bag of doughnuts, I watched as the other two men came to my other side. I blinked up at the two men, pointing their guns at me, before looking at the third man. He looked over with a frown. 

“Ya pussies scared of a kid?” He asked, gesturing to the guns. 

One of the beard men glared down at me, putting his gun away, the other man following his lead. “Kid’s mom or dad gotta be nearby.”

The other man next to him took a look at me, “Nah, if they were, the kid would run to them.”

“Now,” the third man squatted down to look me in the eyes, “tell Merle where yer Mammy and Pappy are, huh.” I blinked up at the grinning man, unsure of what to do. I glanced at the door behind me before taking another look at the man in front of me. He looked at the door with a smirk before pushing me into the other two men. He slung the gun strap over his shoulder to turn the doorknob open with his left hand.

“Let’s say hi to them, huh?”

The two men picked up their guns as Merle knocked on the door, “Got yer kid!”

I breathed heavily, shaking my head at Merle not to open the door. Misunderstanding, he pulled it open as the two men next to me charged forward. Thanking whoever was watching over me, I made a run for the front door, as the men started shouting at their mistake over the grunting snarls. Seeing a gun peek out, I dodged behind a car as another two men appeared from the store next door, running in to help their friends. Not wanting to stick around I ran back to where I came from, grabbing another bottle, and kept going back to the woods.

Taking a peek behind me, I was out of the town, along the road that I first saw when I got out, no one behind me. Leaning against the railing, I put down the full water bottle and started drinking the first one without restraints. I have water to last me a week if I’m careful, maybe more. Throwing the empty bottle across the road, I grabbed the other one and went over the railing, not planning on going into town anytime soon. As soon as I landed on the other side, I looked up to see a black jeep driving up the road.

Swallowing a scream, I gripped onto the bottle and ran into the woods. They’re going to be very angry now. 

Tires squealed behind me and I thought about climbing a tree but that would mean I would have to leave behind the bottle of water. Whimpering, I desperately looked around. I spotted two trees that would work in my favor. One tree that I could climb but another tree had these big roots to hide the water bottle. Skidding to a halt, I knelt down, throwing dirt and leaves over the bottle before turning around to climb the other. My nails dug into the tree bark as I pushed off with the back legs, desperately looking at the tree branch closest to me. I reached over and pulled myself up onto the tree branch, letting out a relieved sigh.

Now, I waited, listening for the men chasing after me. I must have been waiting no more than three minutes when Merle and another man showed up. Merle was looking around, the other man looking more impatient by the second. “How hard is it to track a kid?” the man spat at Merle.

Merle turned around, grinning maliciously, “Now, listen here.” Merle pointed a knifed arm in the other man's direction. “That kid tricked us into opening a geek infested storage room.” If it wasn’t for the fact I needed to hide, I would’ve laughed. I’m smart but not that smart. Thanks for the future idea though. “If the kid is smart to do that, the kid is smart to cover their tracks.”

Merle gestured at the floor. “This is where the tracks end.”

The other man scoffed, “What? The kid disappeared into thin air?” Merle glowered over at the other man, stepping into his personal space.

“I said, the kid is smart to cover their tracks.” He growled in the man’s face. “Might be a false trail. Kid backtracked and ran off a separate way from this trial. Now quit yer bitchin’ and move,” Merle shoved his shoulder into the man, “kid’ll be gone.” 

I watched them both go back from where they were coming from, following my trail. I let out a deep breath of air, leaning my head against the tree trunk, happy that no one ever looks up. I stayed there for a bit in case they came back, trying to pick off from this point, but they never did. While I waited, what Merle said gave me more ideas on how to trick people. Locked walkers and backtracking old footsteps to run off elsewhere. 

Sounds like two solid ideas.

Feeling like they won’t come back, I started coming down the tree slowly until I was close to the ground, jumping off. I w alked to my prize of the day, crouching down to dig out my water bottle when I heard the sound of a gun click. I turned around, gaping to see Merle and the other man standing behind me, guns pointed at me. Lips trembling, I stared at both men pleadingly, curling around the bottle of water as they stood above me. Merle looked up at the tree I just came down, whistling, slinging what I learned to be a semi-automatic over his shoulder.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” He smiled approvingly. “Ya squirreled yer way up and down that tree faster than I can take a piss.” He flashed the grin over at me. “If I met ya differently, color me impressed. Except,” the grin quickly turned into a scowl, “ya tricked poor ol’ Louie into opening the door full of geeks!”

I tilted my head to the side, blinking in confusion. Louie? Wasn’t it you?

“Merle, let’s just shoot the kid and move on.” The other man lowered the pistol, his eyes cold as steel. With all these ideas of tricks, one quickly came to mind, as I looked over his shoulder and shouted.

“Daryl!”

Both men followed my gaze and I didn’t waste time to stay. I bolted the second their gaze left me, running further into the woods, heart trapped in my throat. Both men cursed when they realized they were tricked once more and heard them chasing after me. I quickly dodged to the side, going around a tree, hearing a shot being fired, the tree bark by me splintering. A scream lodged itself in my throat with my heart. “Shit, don’t kill the kid!” Merle shouted.

“Fuck the kid! Louie, Dave, and John are dead ‘cause of the kid!” the other man shouted at Merle. 

Well, at least one of them wasn’t trying to kill me.

I reached into my back pocket, pulling out the slingshot from the oversized t-shirt and then for a rock in my front pocket. I ran behind a tree, put down the water, and loaded the slingshot. I peeked around the tree to see where the two men were. The man that wanted me dead was closer to me than I would like. He was only a good twenty feet away, scanning the woods. Not wanting him to spot me, I lined up the shot and aimed for the man’s eye.

“FUCK!” he roared, dropping the gun and slamming a hand to his eye. I pocketed the slingshot and ran for the gun, keeping an eye on the screaming man, blood starting to stream down his face. While he was confused, I gave him a kick to the back of the knee as I grabbed the small gun. A gunshot rang out.

Gasping, I looked down, waiting to see where I was hit. 

The sound of a body falling over had me look up at the man that wanted to kill me. He was gurgling, blood pouring out of his throat like a small fountain. With shaking hands, he reached up with one hand, trying to stop the blood from escaping. The other hand was reaching out blindly. I stared at where the man's eye used to be, not realizing it could cause the eye to disappear. I started to back away, the man’s only eye finally focusing on me, when I backed into another body.

Nervous, I swung the gun in my hand towards Merle, but he wrapped a metal arm around me, pulling the gun out my hand with his. “Now, now,” Merle heaved me up, metal brace digging into my stomach. “That’s not how ya say thank you.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. Thank you? He almost got me killed the first time!

“Now,” he kept on, ignoring the dying man in front of him. “Ya gonna do Merle a big favor and take me to my baby brother.” I blinked up at that. Take you to who?

“Now don’t play dumb.” Merle went on. “You know who I’m talking about.” He looked over at the other man and whistled. “Damn kid, how you get his eye to explode like that?”

I scowled up at Merle, who grimaced at the man who was supposed to be family. You don’t hurt people who become your family! 

“Gotta say, Kyle,” Merle taunted the dying man, “it is an improvement.” Merle took one look at me, scowling at him which he returned with a frown. “Aww, Kyle knows it’s no hard feelings. Truth be told,” Merle threw me over his shoulder before sliding me down on his arm, so we were eye to eye, “never liked him. Always thought he was hot shit, ya know.”

I clutched onto Merle’s shirt wondering what kind of nut case I was dealing with here. 

He taunts Kyle, whose last dying moments are Merle heckling him, after being the one to shoot him! Then he wants me to take him to someone I don’t know who he is talking about? Even if I did, I figure the brother will be better off.

“C’mon, which way we going?” he asked me. I blinked owlishly at him, pointing over his shoulder at my water bottle. He can’t argue about the basics of survival.

He looked to see where I was pointing. Grumbling, the man didn’t argue and picked up the water bottle before shoving it at me. “Fine, here is yer damn water. Now, where is my little brother?”

I clutched at the water, blinking at the man, unsure who he was talking about. Merle growled, “Listen here boy,” I blinked in surprise, “ya went and screamed out for Daryl to help ya, so where is he?”

Another blink of surprise. “Daryl’s your brother?” 

Merle returned a blink of surprise himself, “Yer a girl?”

We both just stared at the other for a bit before Merle broke off laughing. “Holy shit!” He yelled, leaning back scanning me head to toe. “Ya don’t look like a girl. Ain’t cha supposed to like pink and glitter?”

I glared at him and simply stated. “Ew.” Pushing back the curls that were flying all over the place after my hair tie broke. He reached up and squished my nose between two of his beefy fingers, “Ow!” I told him, pushing his hand away.

“Ya really a lil' girl!”

“And you are a jerk!” I rubbed my nose.

“Aw, c’mon Princess,” he reached up again and I pushed his hand away. A low moan sounded over my shoulder and my eyes stared up at Merle in fear, wondering how many walkers heard us between gunshots and Kyle screams. I peeked over my shoulder to see it was Kyle who was sitting up, the noise coming from him. Feeling slightly better, I did a cursory glance past Kyle and then another in front of us. 

Letting go of the tension in my body, I looked over at Kyle, who was now getting to his feet. I glanced at Merle whose eyes didn’t leave me for a second. I blinked up at him. “You gonna get that?” 

He let out a chuckle.  “Second I let go of ya,” his eyes narrowed, “ya gonna bolt. Batting those pretty eyes might work on my baby brother, but I never let a broad tell me what to do, no matter how young. How about ya get that?”

I raised a brow at him. “You're the adult.” I countered.

Merle stayed put as Kyle started trudging towards us. “Yer call sweetheart.”

I shrugged at him. “You're bigger. Walker will get you before me.” Merle’s eyes narrowed at me at that. I tilted my head, staring back at him, feeling comfortable dealing with one walker if I had to. I could reach the knife hidden under my shirt. Merle chuckled. 

“Ya got balls bigger than some men I know.” With that, he reached down to the back of his pants, pulling out the pistol he took from me and into Kyle’s head, right over his shoulder. I reeled at the loud sound of the gun firing so close to my ear. Rubbing my ear, I looked at what was once Kyle had fallen backward, inches from taking a bite out of Merle.

“Now, what do ya say?” Merle put the pistol away. “Let’s go to Daryl, huh?”

“I don’t know,” I told him. Merle’s cocky grin shifted to a frown again.

“Ya mean ya don’t know?” He asked.

“Daryl’s supposed to find me. A large group of walkers came by.” I shrugged at him again.

Merle’s eyes looked like they were calculating everything that I had said and done. He took another glance at me, before narrowing his eyes. “How long ago was that?”

“Two days ago. I had to run around a bit, might’ve confused him with the trail.” I answered.

Merle’s thin lips nearly disappeared with disappointment. “Where were ya holed up at?”

I blinked at him. “Can’t say.”

“Girl,” Merle growled at me, “you can’t say or won’t say?”

I didn’t say anything else, just held the bottle of water closer to me. I looked over his shoulder, scanning for anyone or anything else that may be around. Snarling, Merle tossed me up before I landed back on his arm. “Ya better answer me before I tan yer hide!”

I bit my lip nervously, unsure if he would or not. Carol said Daryl’s brother was mean. He was mean enough to hurt someone from his group. He probably won’t think twice about it if he shot Kyle. I squeaked as he tossed me in the air again, except this time, I fell face forward, belly hitting the metal brace uncomfortably. “No!” I screamed, kicking at him. My bottom felt the air breeze across it for a brief moment.

The sting was the first thing I felt, followed by a burn. Every hit after that felt like fire was touching my skin. I screamed, hitting him with the water bottle, my fist, trying to kick him with my boots. He didn’t stop hitting me until he felt I learned my lesson. I was nothing but a sobbing mess, feeling my left butt cheek stinging angrily when he pulled the back of my pants up before dropping me on the ground. 

“Quit yer cryin’ and tell me where!” He yelled at me. I cried harder, not caring if other walkers heard. He muttered some more curses under his breath before trying again. “I’ll tan the other side if ya don’t stop and tell me.” He threatened. It just made me cry louder, bordering on a scream.

“Ah, shit.” He picked me up and I started hitting him again. “Quit hittin’ me! I ain’t gonna tan yer other side. All yer screeching and hollerin’ is calling them fuckers to us.”

He started running and I stopped hitting him looking to see walkers were coming from all sides. I wanted to keep it up but all that will do is bring more walkers to us than he can handle one-handedly, let alone for me to get away safely. A shuddering gasp went through me as I looked at the walkers following Merle. Turning around I noticed he was running back to the road. To his jeep that was left on the road just parked there, waiting.

Merle opened the driver's seat, pushing me towards the passenger as he started the engine. I sat down before jerking to the right, left side still hurting. He turned the car key, letting the jeep roar to life for a second before shifting gears, stepping on the gas pedal. My body sunk into the seat of the car momentarily before I looked to see where he was taking me. He drove straight down the road. The only sound inside the car was my sniffling and the air vent. Looking out the window, I scanned the trees, looking for anything familiar before I saw the grey building briefly appear above the trees before it disappeared again.

Gasping, I pushed the car door open, taking a gamble that Merle would stop the car. Seeing me dangling out the vehicle, Merle's immediate reaction was to stomp on the breaks, just as I hoped for. “Are ya fuckin’ crazy?” he yelled at me. 

I slipped past his grip as I hopped out of the car, knowing where to go now, slamming the door shut behind me as Merle went to lean over. Not wanting to waste any time, I went to the back of the car, hoping he would think I would go around the front as I made my escape to the woods once more. “Git back here!” Merle yelled, boots thundering behind me.

“No!” I shouted at him. “You’ll bring the others to hurt them too!” 

Thankfully, there was no guard railing for me to run past the trees. I had a smooth transition from the paved road to dirt and leaves. 

I didn’t get far. 

I screamed as a large hand grabbed the back of my shirt, pulling me to him. “Now, let’s get one thing straight!” Merle growled in my ear. “I ain’t gonna bring a pack of wolves to my baby brother, ya got that. So I don’t appreciate ya saying I’m going to hurt him.”

I glared, sniffing, “You killed Kyle, someone who is in your group, your new family,” I hissed at him. “And you expect me to bring you back with me so you can hurt my family too?” I pulled my shirt out of his hands. “No!”

“Daryl is the only family I need. He is blood!” Merle yelled at me. “Now, yer gonna either take me to him, we go to my so-called new family, or ya can stay and rot in these woods. Take yer pick.” I held his glare. 

Is he stupid?

“Woods,” I hissed at him, running off.

“Shit,” Merle hissed, chasing after me.

This time, I went reaching for my slingshot, surprised he didn’t try taking it out of my back pocket earlier. Slingshot in hand, I felt for the rock next, loading it as I ran. I dodged behind a tree, since it worked before, hearing the larger man slide across the leaves for a moment with a curse, and aimed just as he rounded the tree. “Woah,” he held up his only hand in a peaceful gesture, backing away a little.

Narrowing my eyes, I was ready to let go when I heard what I was hoping to hear the last two days. 

“Cielo!”

In my excitement, I made a huge mistake.

I turned my head, smiling. “Here!” I yelled back.

Immediately, Merle grabbed me, and I screamed. I started kicking and punching at the bigger man, trying to get him to let go. “Let go!”

“Nah,” he replied, “we’re gonna wait right here.” As another panicked voice called out to me.

I grunted as he pushed me down and held me down to the ground, unable to reach him anymore. He grabbed my slingshot away from me, rock falling out of the pocket, chuckling. “Yup, that’ll make an eyeball explode.”

“Cielo!” 

“No!” I yelled, “Don’t come! He-!” I tried warning them as Merle glared down at me, covering my mouth.

“Now, that ain’t nice.” He snarled.

I heard them running closer, my muffled cries to tell them not to come going nowhere. I angrily screamed behind Merle’s hand, shaking my head, trying to loosen the grip but it didn’t work. Looking ahead of me, I saw both figures look at me and Merle in shock, unsure of what is going on. I whimpered, bursting into tears again, which seemed to be the catalyst for everything.

“Dammit Merle,” Daryl yelled, lowering his crossbow, “let her go!”

“Easy, baby brother,” Merle told him as he took off his arm from my back, “just holding her till ya got here, is all.”

Immediately, I scrambled over to Daryl, wrapping my arms around his waist sobbing. “Well lookie here,” Merle kept going as Daryl wrapped his arms around me, “if it ain’t Officer Friendly. See, we coulda had this on friendlier terms but the kid wasn’t talking.”

“Friendlier terms?” Rick hissed at Merle, gun raised. “What did you do?”

“Gonna shoot me, Officer?” Merle replied. “Mean, I already lost a hand ‘cause of ya. What’s next? The whole arm?”

Daryl ran a hand over my hair, checking my face for any scrapes or bruises. “He hit you?” Daryl asked me, eyes blazing. My lips wobbled before I even said anything. Daryl turned his angry stare at Merle. “What ya went and hit her for?!” Daryl yelled at Merle, gently pushing me behind him as he walked over.

“She wasn’t talkin’!” Merle defended. “Gave her hide a tanning tha-"   


Daryl punched Merle. 

The hit nearly unbalanced the bigger man but Daryl didn’t let up. He went to punch Merle again but Merle dodged it, eyes focusing on the man he’s been searching for who knows how long. As Daryl moved in again, Merle locked his brother’s head into the arm with the metal brace, my eyes following the glinting knife attached to that arm nervously. Thankfully, he avoided stabbing his Daryl. Merle landed several punches to Daryl’s belly with his normal hand instead. Running over to Rick, I pulled the pistol out of his hands and shot into the ground near Merle’s foot. Both men stopped and looked at me

Finally, things calmed to where everything felt less frantic. “Let go of Daryl.” I hissed at Merle. 

He barked out a laugh but did what I asked.

“Darylina being saved by a little girl.” Merle scoffed, looking at Daryl. “Looks like ya went soft, brother.”

I narrowed my eyes on Merle, but before I could do anything, Rick took the pistol back from me. I looked up, seeing him send a look that’s normally reserved for Carl and guns. Glaring back at the older man that had spanked and pinned me down, who was grinning at Daryl, I let out an angry hiss. Daryl didn’t say anything either. He walked over to me and Rick, scowling. When Daryl was close, I grabbed his hand, muttering loud enough for the two men close to me to hear only. “I don’t like him.”


	20. Barely a tap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearly forgot to upload the chapter of the week. Thank you for the condolences and comments. It kept my mind from spiraling down a rabbit hole this past week. Here is today's chapter. Hope you enjoy.

Sadly, Merle came back with us to the prison. Rick had him hand over my slingshot as we made our way back, so small victory. I held onto Daryl’s hand on the walk back to the road, Merle refusing to leave behind the Jeep and the supplies he left in it, and Rick wasn’t one to turn away supplies. When we were in the car, I leaned my head against Daryl’s shoulder in the backseat as Merle and Rick were upfront. I met Merle’s eyes in the rearview mirror and glared at the man. “Ah, does the Princess have a crush on Darylina?” Merle teased.

I didn’t say anything but glared at the man through the mirror. “Ain’t she too young, baby brother?” Merle pushed. Growling, I kicked the back of Merle’s seat hard, jerking the Jeep a bit as he drove towards the prison. “You're sick, you know that!” Daryl shouted at Merle. “It ain’t like that.”

Merle glared at me through the mirror, “Kick my seat again, girl. I’ll-”

“Ya ain’t doin’ nothing!” Daryl yelled at Merle. Merle glowered at Daryl through the small mirror but didn't push it.  


It was quiet in the jeep after that.

I looked over at Rick, seeing his eyes dart around strangely through the glass as we were nearing the prison. I tapped Daryl’s hand that I haven’t let go and motioned over to Rick. Daryl didn’t say anything but pursed his lips. Clearly, something bad happened. 

I sat there trying to think of what could have made Rick act the way he was when the prison gates came into sight. Rick stuck an arm and head out the window, letting the others inside know it was safe to open the gate. As they did, Merle let out a low whistle. “How long ya’ve been cozying up in here?” No one bothered to answer Merle as we pulled in. Hearing the commotion and gates opening up the others started coming out from the cell block.

As Merle parked the jeep, Rick immediately jumped out, walking up to those that were coming out. Daryl opened the back seat with me following right behind him. Second my feet touched the ground and I walked around the car door, there were several gasps of relief. I glanced up to see Maggie and Carol brush away a few tears, laughing as one of them made a joke. Tilting my head, I went to ask what it was when I was blindsided by the crushing hug behind me. “You’re okay!”

“Carl,” I craned my head look at the older boy, “you’re squishing me.”

“Ain’t that something sweet,” Merle’s voice blurted in again. I glared over at Merle who was leaning on the jeep’s hood, smirking over. I rolled my eyes at the man and looked at both Carl and Daryl.

“What did Carol cook? I’m starving.”

Carl was the one to grab my hand, “I’ll show her!” 

Carl didn't wait for an answer as he dragged me over to the cell block, past the two women who were crying moments before. I looked over my shoulder to see Daryl put on that expressionless face again, which was frustrating, and a smirking Merle right behind him.

Ohhh, I just wanna hit him.

Everyone followed both Carl and me inside and I was hugged from all sides. Maggie and Carol were the first to take a look at me and ask me how I felt before Herschel came over and did the same. Confused, I looked around for T-Dog and Lori, but figured they might be doing something else instead. T-Dog might be on watch up at that watchtower that gave the best view from all directions and Lori had to be taking a shower or something.

A shrill cry startled me. 

Looking around, the sound finally registered in my mind as the sound of a baby. 

Lori had the baby while I was gone! That's why she wasn't here!  


I was ready to bolt towards the direction I heard the sounds of the baby when I stopped. Beth was coming down the stairs, holding onto a little bundle wrapped up in sheets that was the source of the sharp cry from before. With wide eyes, I looked at Carl, “You’re a big brother now?”

That earned a few chuckles as Beth leaned down, putting the baby in my arms, even after I shook my head no. “Hold the head like this and keep her close to your body.” I grinned, looking at the baby. “So you listened when I told you to be a girl, huh?” I asked the baby, who was cooing, looking off to the side. 

“What do you mean she listened?” Carl asked, a frown forming on his face.

I smirked at him. “I’ve been telling her to be a girl to not cause too much trouble since the farm like a certain boy I know.” I sat down on the bench, basking in Carl’s stupefied face as I did. The feeling didn’t last long because as soon as I sat down, I quickly moved my body to the right with a hiss. I nearly whimpered at the painful electric shock that shot up my body.  Seeing something was wrong, Beth took the baby from me immediately and I did my best to comfortably find a way to sit down. I shuffled in my seat and moved to sit more on my right side than left.

“What was that?” Glenn asked. 

"It stings, that's all," I answered Glenn. I quickly changed the subject. "What's T up to?"

It was quiet. Taking a glance at the faces around me, I quickly put the puzzle pieces together. I turned to look at the baby and Carl, scared to ask about Lori too, but Carl did it for me. "Lost mom, too."

"That’s a damn shame." Merle's voice echoed as he came in the cell block. Everyone turned to the larger man as Daryl smacked the man's arm, pointing a finger wordlessly, before coming down the stairs. Merle just rolled his eyes.

"Merle?" Glenn was in disbelief. 

"In the flesh," the man returned, scanning over the group in front of him. "There's some new faces I haven't seen before." He zeroed in on Maggie, "Hey, Peaches."

Ew, he was one of those.

"If you stayed put," Glenn threw at him, "you would have been with us the whole time." Glenn wrapped an arm around Maggie, silently telling the man to back off 

Merle shook his right arm, "Yeah, right, like I was gonna stay chained up there and be live bait for those freaks."

Carol appeared with a plate of food. "Thank you!" I told her, scarfing down the food, not really tasting what was in front of me.

"Slow down," Maggie laughed, ignoring Merle. "After this, let's get you a shower." I paused my eating to look up at her.

"Showers?" The awe in my voice was heard.

"Axel figured out how to get the water system working right," Carl answered for her. I focused on the twitchy man in the corner and beamed at him.

"Axel, you are the best!" I shouted. The man blushed, grinning over at me.

"How 'bout me?" Merle added." Got you back, didn't I?" I leveled him a look.

"You and your buddies tried to kill me." I hissed at him. That riled the group up a little. Everyone for the most part was glaring over at Merle.

Daryl wasn't happy with that announcement. "You were going to kill a kid?"

"Dude," Glenn started walking up to Merle but Maggie stopped him. "She's seven!"

"That kid got claws!" Merle told him, scowling. "Went and tricked us into opening up a room full of dead freaks and destroyed some poor son of a bitch's eye." His entire body seemed to have puffed up in defense. "No kid can do that. If she was, ain't she supposed to be playing with dolls?!"

"She's seven!" Glenn yelled back. 

Daryl was biting the skin on his thumb again, glaring over at Merle, debating. "Man," he shook his head, "I don't know who you've been hanging with but you don't kill kids!"

"I wasn't gonna kill her!" Merle smiled at Daryl. "She's here, ain't she?"

I finished my plate and looked at Maggie. "Ready for my shower," I informed her, wanting to get far away from Merle.

Maggie patted Glenn’s chest before coming over to show me where these showers were. “Let me get clean clothes,” I told her, running up the stairs and into my cell. I opened the black bag and dumped everything on my bed, pulling out a clean pair of jeans and socks. Glancing at the shirts, I sighed, knowing none fit right anymore. They were getting tight and had to keep pulling them down.

I looked at the shirt I stole from Carl a few days ago and sighed. Can’t steal another one of his. That wouldn’t be fair.

I stuck my head out of the cell, “Beth?”

The young woman looked up from cradling the baby. “Yeah?” That caught the attention of the others. Nothing in this group is private. Especially in these walls.

“Can I borrow one of your shirts?” I asked her. She was the only other person whose clothes wouldn’t be horribly huge on me. 

“What about yours?” Carol asked, starting to walk up the stairs. I bit my lip as Beth handed the baby over to Carl, heading to her cell. Smiling, I left my cell and started walking down, waiting for Beth to come out with a shirt she didn’t mind lending me. When I got downstairs with everyone else, Carol’s eyes seemed to magnify, making me a bit nervous.

“They don’t fit right anymore,” I replied, fidgeting with the bottom of Carl’s shirt.

“So whose shirt are you wearing now?” Carol asked me. The small smile that grew on her face told me she figured out whose it was. So why was she making me say it out loud?

“Carl’s.” I narrowed my eyes on the woman, trying to figure out why she felt the need for me to acknowledge it. “He’s the other kid here.” I felt like I needed to defend the reason for taking Carl’s shirt. Thankfully, Beth had a shirt folded up in front of me. Thanking her, I quickly looked at Maggie, silently pleading to take me out of here.

Maggie smiled, motioning with her head to follow her without another word. We were halfway before Daryl called out, “What about your shoes?”

“Small!” I replied.

Maggie opened a door to show me the showers. I wrinkled my nose, “So much for privacy...” I scanned the room that had no walls or curtains between each shower head. It was just...space.  Anyone can walk right up to you as you were in the middle of a shower. That just didn’t feel right. 

“How was anyone okay with this?” The horror was heard in my question.

Maggie laughed, pushing me to a doorway I hadn’t seen to my left, “We’ll work on building curtains another day. Right now, you need to take a bath.” She led me to a cubby that I could reach. “Here, put your clothes there and I’ll go grab you a towel and a bar of soap. Do you want lavender vanilla, coconut, or honey and milk?“ She was backing away, reaching up in a cabinet.

I looked confused at the woman for all the choices. “Will I smell anything like it or do they just name bars of soap for fun?” 

She rolled her eyes at me, pulling out a towel. “I’ll get the lavender one-”   


“Let me smell them!” I shouted. 

Letting out a small laugh, she put each box of soap on top of the towel before coming over. I lifted one of the bars of soap to my nose and frowned. The lavender was too strong. Putting that bar to the side, I picked up the other two in each hand, taking a quick whiff of each before one pulled on a memory. I lifted the coconut bar up to my nose, “Smells like Mami…”

I gave the honey and milk back to Maggie, holding onto the coconut scented bar of soap. She smiled softly at me and walked over to the cabinet to put the other two bars away. “I’ll wait outside to show you how to get back, just in case.” She explained. I nodded, rolling the bar of soap in hand, throwing the box to the side. Suddenly, I remembered something. 

“Maggie?” 

Her head popped through the doorway, the rest of her body following her. “Hmm?”

“Why was Carol going on about me wearing Carl’s shirt?” I asked her. She smiled wider, eyes twinkling.

“Probably to tease Daryl about it.” She answered, disappearing without really explaining why.

That’s not weird.

Sighing, I ignored what was going on and just went to take my first actual shower in months.

* * *

“I gotta know,” Glenn pushed, “what kind of group were you with that would actually hurt kids?”

Merle narrowed his eyes on the Korean man before sighing. “A group of guys ruled by a man who calls himself The Governor. Just yesterday they got military trucks full of weapons, food, and medicine. Tells the townsfolk the freaks are what got the soldiers but reality is they were gunned down.” Solemn looks were exchanged in the room. “Governor's got them drinking the kool-aid.” Merle finished the picture for them.

“So, you’re saying he’s a Jim Jones kind of guy?” Axel asked Merle, rubbing his chin nervously. 

“He’s the one where the expression of drinking the kool-aid came from.” Oscar looked at his fellow inmate with slight irritation. “That’s exactly what he is saying.”

“What were you doing with them?” Daryl asked his brother, unable to see his brother taking orders from anyone. Especially someone who clearly was a psychopath. Merle looked over at him hunched over in his seat.

“Not sure if ya realized baby brother, it ain’t exactly easy surviving out there with one hand.” Merle spat. “Governor found me starved, insane, and nearly dead on my feet. Anyone would’ve walked away and left me be, but not him. He saw me and told me to come along with him, so I did. To survive.” 

“How many people in his group?” Rick asked, standing by the door to the cell block's entrance, finally deciding to figure out the logistics.

“Seventy-five total,” Merle scratched the stubble on his chin, looking over the man. “Probably a good twenty-five to thirty people that he can actually use.” Rick nodded at Merle’s guestimation. He looked around the room before landing another stare at the older Dixon.

“Chances are he’ll come here?”

“Matter of time,” Merle shrugged, “he has this place in his sights, just never bothered with it ‘cause of the freaks in the yard. When he does, he’s gonna want to kill ya for whatever they find in here.”

“Then we fortify the place,” Daryl shrugged, “find some ammo. We’ll be fine.”

“So we're trapped in here till then? There's barely any food or ammo now if they show up in a few days.” Glenn looked at everyone, surprised at the sudden turn of events. Then he took a look at Merle and directed at him. “Now we got a snake in the nest!”

Daryl pushed off the wall he was leaning on. “Look, Merle's staying here. He's with us now.” Daryl assured everyone, looking at every person in the room with them. Beth looked down at the little girl in her arms that had fallen asleep, unsure of what to say. Glenn ran a hand over his head in frustration. Herschel kept a grim look on his face without another word, looking over at the man who was in charge. “Rick.”

Rick looked at everyone before answering. “Merle has military experience. That is something we’re gonna need fighting this Governor. He may be erratic, but don't underestimate his loyalty to his brother.”

“Merle was saying something about ‘blood is blood’ back in the woods if that makes anyone feel better.” A young voice chimed in.

* * *

A few faces looked shocked to suddenly see me standing there. I tilted my head, careful of the towel wrapped up on my head, crossing my arms, “Heard you all arguing about the Governor walking up here.”

Maggie placed a hand on my back, “We should continue this talk a bit later.”

I gasped indignantly, “Carl is here and no one is stopping to talk about it with him here!”

“I’m older and bigger than you.” He replied, which I just stared at him for uttering the oldest excuse everyone can throw at me. 

“That’s getting old.” I told him and started to walk over to Carol. “Can you braid my hair? My hair tie broke but I have a leather cord if that will work.”

“Girl,” Merle’s grating voice entered my ears, “don’t cha got a momma to bother?”

I narrowed my eyes on him, “Mami is dead, and don’t bother asking about my dad, Viejo baboso.”

I felt the flick to the cheek before I saw the man. “Daryl!” I whined but he pointed a finger at me, which I just huffed at. Carol chuckled at the exchange. “Well, it’s not nice to say mean things.”

“She speaks Spanish?” Merle’s question was directed at no one. Everyone seemed to have ignored him. Or pretended to not have heard the question, not sure. “What other surprises this kid got?” Still, no answer.

Carol pulled at the shirt on my shoulder, “Beth’s shirt almost fits you just fine. Did you grow like a weed in the woods?” She teased. 

To say I fit in the shirt of a young woman whose dainty frame reminded me of a songbird didn’t make me feel like I grew up. It makes me feel like my shoulders are wider than hers. Like a bull.

I shrugged and the motion made someone gasp. “Oh, my God, Cielo!”

Turning around, my startled gaze settled on Maggie who was behind me. She pulled at the back of my shirt to look down. “You said that you were okay!”

“I am!” I told her, confused as to what she was freaking about. I took a step away from Maggie. “What are you talking about?” I frowned at her. Her gaze of shock turned to surprise.

“It’s not hurting you?”

“No?” 

Once again, my answer came out in the form of a question. Before I could say anything else, I saw Herschel motion me over, to take a look. I looked at both of them, the towel on my head completely dislodging itself from my head and fell to the ground. Herschel gave me a look that I’ve seen him give Daryl over the winter when he was pushing his luck with the leg. “It really doesn’t,” I whined walking over, flipping the wet curls to one side. “I have no idea what she’s talking about.”

I turned around and lifted the back of my shirt halfway, unsure if what Maggie saw went that far. By Glenn’s hiss of pain, I’d say it did. Herschel’s fingers ran along something that felt tight. “Feel anything?” Herschel asked.

“No, it just feels tight when you run your finger over it.” I told him. “Can someone tell me what’s going on?”

“It looks like something took a rake to your back.” Carl told me, face scrunching, inspecting my back with Herschel.

A light bulb went off in my head. “Oh, that was probably the fence.” It went quiet for a moment before Merle opened his mouth once again.

“Why did ya go under a fence?” 

Looking over, his face was grim looking at my back, nearly expressionless as Daryl’s tend to be but not as good. I shrugged at him, “It was go under a fence or get eaten by twenty walkers. I picked the fence. How I got separated from everyone in the first place. I was doing good keeping straight until the alarm went off.”

“Is it gonna scar?” Daryl asked over my shoulder, looking at whatever red lines the fence left behind.

“No,” Herschel lowered my shirt, “she doesn’t feel it and it looks like it only scratched the top layer of her skin. I would’ve been concerned if it went deeper.” 

“See,” I looked at Maggie, ”completely fine.” I glanced over at Carol. “Let me get the cord and you can do my braid!” I ran off, up the stairs and into my cell, pulling at the leather cord from the book I finished. I ran down the stairs, everyone stiffly giving Merle some distance, and handed Carol the strip of leather. She took me over to a free table and had me sit down. Fully conscious of the pain I’d feel on the left, I sat tilted on my right.

“Come on,” Carol motioned. “Sit right. Your braid will come out crooked if I do.” 

Slowly, I moved to sit upright and felt the immediate reminder, cringing. Carol’s hand moved away from my hair. “Cielo,” I looked up at her. “Stand up for a second.” I did, looking at the seat, wondering if there was anything on it. “Sit down.”

I looked at her. “You just told me to stand up.” Her eyes looked cold. I blinked up at her, “Did I do something?”

“No,” Carol assured me. “Go ahead and sit.”

I looked at the seat cautiously, wondering if I sat on something at first, before slowly putting pressure on the left side. I bit my lip looking at Carol’s examining gaze, to hold in the whimper, but I couldn’t hide the flinch. “Did you fall?” She asked.

“No,” I shook my head, “not that I remember.”

She looked at me and uncrossed her arms to extend a hand. “Let me see.” 

“See what?” Carl asked, confused at what’s going on. Ignoring him, I looked at Carol, “I’m fine, really!”

“You can’t sit and you’re fine?” She asked in front of everyone. 

Maggie swung her head at me and crossed her arms. “So you are hurting.”

Inwardly groaning, I pleaded with Carol silently, putting my ankle under my left knee to alleviate the pain. She grabbed my hand, gently pulling me with her, Maggie standing next to her as back up. “I’ll be fine, promise!” I said as I was dragged into the nearest cell. Maggie blocked the entrance to the cell so I couldn’t leave, both women staring at me.

“This is embarrassing,” I told them as I undid the belt and button, lowering the pants off gently to not aggravate the butt cheek Merle hit earlier today. I felt absolute embarrassment fill me as I did. Maggie let out a gasp and ran into the cell and pulling my underwear more to the side to see the full extent of the damage. Looking down, I grimaced at the bit of the bruise I could see, knowing they’re seeing the full picture. That looked like it would hurt just as much as it feels like it does. I pulled away and started to redo everything. “It’ll go away.”

Maggie’s eyes blazed with fury, running out of the cell. I ran after Maggie, not caring if the belt was on or not, and grabbed her hand before she started yelling. 

“I’m okay,” I told her but it seemed to infuriate her more.

“But that is not okay!” she shouted. “No one has the right to put their hands on you like that!” Her eyes scanned over between the Dixon brothers before she narrowed her eyes on Merle. “It was you wasn’t it. You were the one to hit her.”

The others turned their heads to Merle, who was sitting up from his hunched form once gazes landed on him. “It was barely a tap!” He argued.

“A tap does not leave a bruise! Your hand is imprinted on her skin!” She yelled at him, pulling me close to her. Carol was behind me, staring coldly at Merle. “She can’t sit Merle.” Merle looked down at me, bottom lip sucked in his mouth, thinking.

Maggie noticed his gaze my way and hid me behind her, finger pointed his way. “Don’t you come anywhere near her. Daryl’s brother or not, I will shoot you like the dog you are.” She threatened him before taking me along with her.


	21. Not Far from the Tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and Kudos. They keep a girl going.

I watched as Herschel stitched up Daryl’s leg, bullet laying on the table, brass tinged with crimson blood. Daryl barely flinched as the needle or suture went through his skin. With another wipe of alcohol, Herschel placed the square gauze pad over the wound. “That should do it,” he collected everything around him to dispose of. Herschel took one look at me before glancing at Terry. “Need me to stitch up Terry, too?”

I changed my focus from the bullet that was taken out of Daryl’s leg to Terry’s. “I don’t think Terry’s can be stitched up like Daryls.” I held up Terry so Herschel could see. “He might need his leg cut off to even fix it.” Herschel took Terry from my grasp, looking at the size of the hole.

“Reckon you’re right.” Herschel frowned, looking at the stuffed toy with sadness. He cupped my chin before walking off with Terry. The others weren’t far in the grungy mechanic store, mostly huddled around the small battery-run heater Rick found in the office manager’s room. I looked at Daryl who was half sitting and half laying on a sofa found in the waiting room, scowling at his leg. 

“I’m glad you’re okay,” I whispered to Daryl, looking at the bullet once more. 

Daryl grunted at me, “Just don’t poke at it. Don’t know what’s with you and poking at my stitches.”

I frowned at him. “I never poked your stitches.”

“Pfft,” he looked away before looking at me. “Then what was ya doing at the farm when Herschel was patching me up then?”

“Making sure you were okay.” I smiled briefly before looking at the bullet. It was quiet between the two of us until I said something again. “Daryl,” I started, tears clouding my eyes before I looked back at him. 

“Does it hurt a lot when they shoot you?” I asked him. The man looked startled at my question.

“Why are ya asking that?” The surprise was clear in his voice.

My lips wobbled, looking back at the bullet. “‘Cause they were shooting at me too.” Daryl 

didn’t know what to say as tears silently fell down my face. I looked at my hands, wondering that if I wasn’t holding Terry, would they have gotten my hands instead. Would Herschel be pulling a bullet out of me too?

Eventually, he spoke, lips thinned, “You don’t gotta worry about that.” He told me. I looked up at him. “You don’t ever have to worry about them hurting you because I’ll shoot them first, you hear me?” he said with strong determination.

“But what if you aren’t there?” I told him. “Bad people like them don’t care if I’m a kid. Abuela told Mami that no one would hurt us because I’m a kid. That people will always care about kids but that’s not true!” I sniffled. “They’ll hurt me because they want to. You can’t promise that.”

Daryl didn’t say anything. He reached over, lightly ruffling my hair before pulling on a curl. ”I ain’t gonna let anyone hurt you like that, alright?”

I nodded, not trusting myself to say anything without starting to cry full on tears and sobs. He looked at my neck, “Where’s the necklace?” I pulled the necklace from my pocket, showing it to him. He looked confused. “Why didn’t you put it on?”

“‘Cause I can’t do it,” I said quietly, rubbing the necklace between my fingers.

He motioned for me to turn around. “Give it ‘ere.” 

I gave him the necklace and turned around, watching as the blue stone laid on my chest as Daryl clasped it on. “There ya go. If I'm not around then ya Mami will save ya.” Smiling, I turned around and hugged Daryl around his neck. He felt tense, arms on his sides, but I didn’t care.

I pulled away a little, “Thank you, Daryl, you’re the best.”

* * *

Maggie was on the warpath for the rest of the day. Herschel, as if it wasn’t embarrassing Maggie and Carol saw my butt, took a look and said that I could sit fine later in the week but the bruise would take almost a month to go. I don’t care about the bruise, I’m happy I can sit normally in a week. Carl wasn’t happy when he heard Maggie shout what happened. According to Glenn, who had to find us since Maggie was my undeclared bodyguard, Carl threatened to shoot Merle too, which started an actual fight in the room. Oscar and Daryl had to not only remove Merle from the room but also Rick, who went berserk. 

Looking out the small windows the prison had, I noticed that it was late at night, perfect for me to get out of my cell without Maggie’s watchful gaze. Silently, I held onto my boots as I walked across the floor, noticing Daryl wasn’t on the perch. Frowning, I carefully went down the stairs and started walking towards the door leading outside. Nervously, I stared at the door knowing it creaked and it would only be louder this late at night. Letting out a breath of air, I twisted the doorknob before slowly opening the door, the squeal its hinges let out was nerve wracking. Slipping out, I put on my boots to walk the rest of the way.

Straight ahead, resting on the stairs leading to the cell block was Daryl. Grinning, I slipped out of the boots again and padded my way over, as quiet as a cat. I slowly reached out, ready to pounce on the man.

“Don’t.” His voice was clear. Stern. 

Pouting, I sat next to him, mindful of how I did so. Daryl didn’t look at me as a small ember blazed in the darkness, the smell of tobacco strong in the air. “I didn’t know you smoked,” I told him, surprised. Daryl let out a breath of smoke, scoffing.

“Lots of things you don’t know.”

“Hmm,” I hummed at that sharp reply, “ ‘cause I know you don’t like talking about you.” I countered. Thinking a bit more, I added, “Plus, you never smelled like a smoker.” I looked back up at him to see he glanced down at me, cigarette hanging loosely from his lips. He didn’t say anything but looked away and took another drag, hands working on his crossbow.

“Thought I told you to check the trees.” I teased him. 

“What do you want?” Daryl growled, putting his crossbow safely down.

“Are you still mad at me?” I asked him, for the most part I was sure he isn’t anymore, but until he said so it would make me feel less anxious that he still was. I looked down at the ring on my thumb, scared to look up, and see him admit that he was. I knew what to do when Mami was mad. Even Abuela. I don’t know what to say or do if Daryl is mad.

“What? No!” Shock clearly in his voice. I looked up at him, seeing that he meant it, his face looked less tense than before. “Why you ask that?” I grinned and shook my head, going to lean my head to his shoulder before I jumped back hissing. I gripped the railing, accommodating my seated position. 

His eyes darkened immediately. “Should’ve hit him harder.”

“Why? He acts like his head is a bag of bricks. You'll hurt yourself more trying.” I tried to lighten the mood but from the scowl on his face, it clearly didn’t work. “Daryl, I’m okay, rea-” He pointed a finger at me, stopping me from finishing the sentence.

“You ain’t okay. Don’t lie to me.”

I glared at him, huffing. “Fine, it hurts to sit but I’m not mad at Merle for hitting me,” I grumbled. "More like annoyed really."

"But I am," Daryl growled, "he has no right to hit you," he took the cigarette out of his mouth pointing at me with it, "especially leave a mark like that."

I didn't say anything but managed to lean over and rest my head against his shoulder without trouble this time. He put the cigarette back in his mouth with a long drag before stubbing it on the railing. I kept quiet watching him care for the crossbow before he sighed putting it down. "That's why I broke yer damn bow."

I rested my chin on the crook of his elbow, peeking up at him, listening. "I just meant to take it away but I got so mad at the stuff that asshole said," his eyes took a dark turn, knowing he had to be talking about Tomas, "I broke yer bow."

He looked at me, a small frown on his face. "I did that because I didn't want to hit ya. I don't want to be like my Dad. He was a real mean son ova bitch." He looked away from me, eyes looking glazed over at the memory. 

"Well, I think you're making a better daddy than he is," I whispered to him, looking away. His entire body seemed to have jerked at that. 

"I ain’t yer daddy," Daryl whispered, shaking his head. I bit my lip and looked back at him, seeing him start to fidget. 

"I know," I told him, "but I wish you were," I said, giving him a quick kiss on his cheek and ran. Knowing when it was a good idea to give the man his space. 

* * *

The next morning brought more or less the same as yesterday afternoon after Rick came back to clean off the walkers blood during an episode. Maggie kept close as Rick talked to Merle about fortifying the prison from the Governor's onslaught. Glenn, Oscar, Axel, Daryl, and Herschel listened and added their knowledge. Carol was mediating between caring for me to give Maggie a break and assisting Beth with the baby. A baby, who I realized was never held by her dad, looked at, or even given a name.

Speaking of dads, Daryl was more quiet than usual. Not sure if it is because I told him I thought of him as my dad in a roundabout way or he was having an off day. He has barely said a word other than for what he wants to contribute. 

Sighing, I stopped my math problems and looked at Maggie. "Do you think they'll let me learn how to shoot a gun?"

She blinked in surprise at the sudden question. Her brows furrowed, "Why do you want to shoot a gun?"

"Because it's not safe to not know how." I told her, seeing Carol coming up behind her. "Before anyone says my hands are too small, I could hold Rick's gun just fine."

Carol's eyes were scrutinizing me. She's been doing that quite a lot lately. "Maybe we should teach you." She smiled, eyes a little flat as she did. 

"Awesome!" I replied, getting back to the math problems Maggie gave me, trying to remember what nine times six was. 

"Now, hold on." Maggie looked at the other woman. "We can't just give a seven year old a gun." She argued with Carol. 

"I think you should." Carl chimed in, sitting next to me. "That way she can protect herself." I beamed up at Carl. Someone else has my back today.

Bewildered, Maggie looked over at Daryl. "Daryl," she called for him, "can you tell Carol it's not a good idea to give Cielo a gun?"

Daryl took a glance at me, "She ain't my kid. If she wants to learn a gun then let her."

The sharp stab in my chest stopped me from breathing in at that moment. Throat closing in, I looked away from Daryl and glanced at Maggie. I guess I figured out why he was so quiet.

He’s pulling away.

Like I knew he would if I told him.

I’m an idiot.

An absolute idiot.

Anger and shame filled me. I looked to the first person who would teach me anything, showed that he cares a little, and within months I clung onto him. I felt a tug on my hair, looking up to see Maggie, staring down a little concerned.

“You okay?” She asked, staring at me, trying to figure out what was wrong. I shook my head at the question, refusing to let another person hurt me like that and power through. 

“Sorry, spaced out, what did you ask?” I blinked up at her.

“What is the answer for nine times six?” 

“Oh,” I looked down at the problem that was giving me issues before, “Fifty-four.” Maggie nodded, looking at the next math problem before I pushed on the previous topic. “About the gun training,” I looked up at Maggie, “when do you think I can learn? I know we have to get ammo but how much ammo will I be allowed to have. If any?”

“Princess wants to learn how to shoot?” Merle’s irritating voice appeared. Clenching my fists, I looked up to see the man sitting on a table across from us. “I thought ya knew how after pointing one at me.”

“No, I was told my hands were too small to hold a gun before,” I replied.

Maggie glared over at the man, ready to yell at him, but I stopped her. “Don’t worry Maggie, he won’t do it again. He isn’t the boogie man.” I got up from my seat, careful about how to get out from the bench before I moved on the left cheek wrong. He really caused an inconvenience.

“Ain’t the boogie man?” The mocking clearly heard. I sighed, glaring over at Merle.

"I can still shoot your eye out with a slingshot if you want to be the scary boogie man." His playful look turned grim. I went on, ignoring it, "Leave me alone. I'm not in the mood for you to make fun of me. Just go back to making plans in securing the fortress." I mumbled, dragging a confused Carl with me.

"Where are we going?" He asked, his eyes burning in the back of my skull. I turned around, pleadingly to just follow me wordlessly. He clearly saw I didn't want to say why and sighed. "Let's go. I think there is a spot you might like." He grinned, pulling me behind him instead.

We both exited the cellblock with Carl running and me forcing myself to keep up with him. I was wondering what Carl would consider to be a place that I liked. He took me over to a different door that I haven’t seen before and paused, grinning down at me. "Got enough rocks in your pocket?" 

Confused, I patted the pocket that I kept full of rocks and nodded. Without another word, he motioned to follow him as he opened the door. I noticed that he pulled out his knife and went quietly up the stairs. I did the same, feeling slightly nervous, "Carl," I whispered, "did this get cleared yet?"

"Mostly." He whispered back. "But there aren't many. We can take them." My eyes narrowed on the boy. Seems like he still had a habit of running off to where he shouldn't be. Not saying another word, we reached the second floor as Carl reached for another door, my heart beating against my ribs once more.

The door was pulled open and the hallway was illuminated with actual windows, so it was comforting to see that we weren't going in the dark. Bad enough we're going in blindly. I kept close to the taller boy as we walked in, curious to see what place he had seen that I would like, listening for any sudden sounds. Of course, as luck would have it, there were eight standing still, motionless. Seeing Carl ready to move, I grabbed his elbow, pulling him back to me with a look. 

I motioned for him to keep an eye behind me as I put away the knife and switched it out for the slingshot. He looked like he was ready to pout but didn't argue and made sure nothing was going to sneak up on us. I loaded the first and aimed for the nearest walker, skull caving in at the force the small pebble hit it. I loaded the second one, in case the sound would excite the others, but thankfully it did not. 

I managed to get four when one of the walkers bumped into another, low growl escaping the walkers mouth. I elbowed the teenage boy to warn him of upcoming trouble as the other three followed the first walkers cue. I shot the walker that started the chain reaction down but the other three were still walking towards us. I sighed, "I hope I don't have any brain gunk fall on me."

Carl strode ahead, knife in hand ready to take out walkers himself. I switched choice of weapons again and quickly walked up to the walker that was getting too close to Carl for comfort. I kicked its knee out from underneath it, stabbing the back of its head as Carl got the last one. He looked at me with a grin, "See, we got this."

A small nervous laugh escaped me, "You are so going to be the one to deal with your Dad when he finds out about this."

"If he does," Carl corrected me, going past the dead walkers, continuing down a hall. I rolled my eyes.

"No, _when_ , because if we're making this our home, your dad is going to want every room in the prison available to us." Eyes gleaming with delight as the words sunk into his head. He glared down at me.

"I can tell Daryl you came with." He threatened playfully, a half hearted glare my way, and my teasing mood went with it.

He didn't say it maliciously.

I know that. Just mentioning Daryl right now had my heart crumble and feel my blood boil in anger at the same time. 

"Well, as Daryl clearly told Maggie, he ain't my daddy. So he can go shove it." I hissed.

Carl blinked at the sudden mood change, looking for walkers, processing what I said. It was silent up till we walked up to these big double doors, the word library stamped on a brass plaque above the door. My mood lifted immediately and I hugged Carl, whispering thank you over and over nonstop. He pushed me away grinning. 

Carefully, I opened the library door, thankful that these doors weren't noisy like the steel ones by the cells. They opened quietly, allowing both Carl and I to peek in the large room, appearing untouched from the chaos of an outbreak. He had no problems walking in the room but I internally screamed at the hasty and rash teenager. The internal scream came out as a loud puff of air, following cautiously behind him. I scanned the books around me as we walked into the room. 

Carl was smart to not begin going down the aisles, instead of keeping to the outskirts the infinite row of shelves. I kept close, amazed at how big this place was. There was a second floor to this room! Not hearing anything out of normal I turned to Carl.

"How did you find this place?"

"After mom died I didn't have much to do." I heard the sadness, not needing to see his face. "You were missing. Beth started taking care of the baby. Dad is…" he paused, trying to find the words.

"Unavailable?" I gave him.

"Yeah…"

It was silent before he glanced at me, "So why are you mad at Daryl?"

I blinked in surprise before looking off to the side, scanning the books. "Not mad at him. More at myself for being stupid." I muttered to him. 

"What happened?" 

I sighed, looking over at him, "Carl, if I'm answering that question then you're answering the one about Beth."

He flushed immediately. The boy's pale cheeks turning bright red. He glared at me. "Why is it every time I ask you a question I have to answer something personal?"

"Because you're asking something personal to me, duh." I retorted.

He frowned and left it at that, which I was glad he did. I browsed the shelves a little more comfortably.

So far, nothing that screamed out to me. A lot of it looked like some kind of self-help books, or at least, the section I looked at was. What was the average age of the prisoners that were in here to begin with?

Still, there had to be some kind of adventure books to have for an escape. Or the continuation of the Narnia series. That's considered a classic read every library should have.

Right? 

A quiet moan was let out and I put my back to Carl's immediately, looking to see where the walker was. He didn’t see it either until its entire arm pushed through the shelves next to us. Then a second and third pair of arms followed. I paled, extremely happy we didn't go down the rows. Now we had the issue of walkers that are overly excited, unable to get to us, and giving a location to any others hidden inside.

"Door?" I asked Carl.

The rest of the library had answering groans, sounding like something from a horror movie, forcing the boy to nod his head in agreement. "Door."

We both turned and ran for the door to the entrance of the library, frantically looking for any walkers heading our way. My grip tightened on my knife as we got nearer to the door. Before we even reached the end of the aisle, a walker wearing a prison jumpsuit appeared from one of the rows, blocking off the entrance to the library. "Hold!" I told Carl, thrusting the handle of the knife towards him, reaching for the slingshot. He did as I asked, looking over his shoulder for any walkers attempting to sneak up on us. I aimed for the walker blocking us and tapped his chest, running ahead, hoping he'll follow.

I kept the slingshot loaded in case another walker decided to surprise us on the way to the door. I took another step and fell face first with a shriek. "Cielo!" I heard Carl's sneakers skid, stopping his run for the door to run back for me.

I went to stand up to realize my ankle wasn't moving. Terrified, I looked to see a walker had grabbed hold of my shoe, head unable to reach me from the bottom of the bookshelf. I pulled on the slingshot, perfect shot to kill the walker before I felt how loose the pocket felt. The amount of dread that filled my body when realizing the small stone fell out the slingshot could freeze these walkers for a week.

I pulled on my shoe hard hoping that would work but it didn’t. Carl bent down on the floor, skewering the walker with his longer knife before pulling me up, helping me run to the entrance again. He handed me back my knife and I pocketed the slingshot in return, eyeing the walkers up on the second floor, walking up to the balcony, falling over with loud sickening thuds to reach us. Carl grabbed my hand once more, pulling me to the doors.

He pushed me in front of him, turning around to see a walker not far from where we just stood, nearly on top of us. I pulled the door open and screamed as several walkers were already on the other side of the door. I heard Carl managed to kill the one in front of him when my scream had him stare in horror at the walkers blocking the way. I had kicked the knees of the closest walker as Carl reached over and stabbed its head. I did the same for the second and stabbed that one, giving Carl time to catch up and stab a third. "We can't stay here!" Carl shouted at me, looking over his shoulder to see several more appearing behind him. 

"I push one away and you push the other, run for the door to the stairs!" I suggested, pulling a knife out of a walker. Without another word, we both pushed the dead walkers with the adrenaline in our bodies hard enough to knock a few over. We ran for the door, twisting the doorknob to open it and I waited for Carl to slip through. Second I saw his hat run past me, I pushed the door closed, feeling him pushing the metal door closed next to me with a slam. I looked up at Carl as he glanced down at me when the bodies started slamming into the metal door. Wide-eyed, we checked the door to see if it was budging but thankfully, it wasn’t. 

“Next time, let’s avoid the crazy idea of into huge rooms like that.” I gasped out.

He laughed heavily, “Small rooms?”

I nodded, sitting against the wall near the stairs, “Small rooms.”

He collapsed next to me, catching his breath just as much as me. I glanced over at Carl one more time before we both burst out laughing. Our laughter encouraged the walkers on the other side of the metal door, fists banging against the door, but it was sturdy. Once we both calmed down, we wiped the knives on a handkerchief Carl had in his back pocket hidden away for moments like that. Sheathing the knives, we went down the stairs, ignoring the dissatisfied walkers still desperate to get a hold of us. I followed Carl back to the cellblock in a better mood. Before we headed in, I double-checked neither one of us was covered in some kind of walker gunk, especially since I was wearing Beth’s shirt. 

That would be a giveaway.

Once we opened the door, the first person to notice us was Herschel, who I think that even with the crutches, he was a bit stir crazy at things he was unable to do anymore. He saw the grins on our faces, “Well look at that. Haven’t seen smiles that big on your faces in a while.”

Carol was holding the baby this time, smiling over at us. “So, had fun?”

I shrugged, “It definitely cheered me up.”

After not getting eaten alive.

“What did you guys do?” Glenn asked, his hair wet from just taking a shower, signaling that they were done for the day. I looked up at Carl hoping he had an answer set up but he looked at me as if I had an answer. I bit my lip before turning over to Glenn with wide eyes, “Oh, just some fun.”

“Fun?” Maggie asked, hair just as soaked as Glenns, eyes twinkling.

“You know,” I shrugged at her, “fun. Playing Uno. Reading Comics.”

“Stuff,” Carl added, unhelpfully. 

I wanted to glare at him. Make it any more obvious why don’t you!

“Anyway,” I threw in before Carl dug us into a deeper hole, “anyone know when there’s a run? I would like to return Beth’s shirts and have some of my own.”

Take the bait, come on. Divert away from the unapproved trip to the library.

Maggie crossed her arms, eyes narrowing, “We haven’t talked about that yet.” Her eyes shifted over to Carl. “What kind of stuff Carl?”

Fudge crackers.

I saw two bodies separated to the side and glanced over quickly to see it was Merle and Daryl. Both men were listening. The most annoying one with a smirk on his face. The other kept his stoic face, pausing on loading his crossbow with more bolts. My glance shifted over to Carl, seeing him thinking too hard before I said something else. “We can’t say.” 

Maggie’s eyes shifted to me as I shrugged. “We made a promise, kid to kid.”

“Oh?” Herschel asked, crossing his arms like Maggie, eyes narrowed in on us.

Is that where she got it from? 

I sighed, rolling my eyes. “If we say, it isn’t me keeping my promise to Carl or Carl keeping his to mine, is it?”

“Yeah,” Carl agreed and I hoped the next thing out of his mouth would get us out of this hole he put us in, “I know Cielo keeps to her word and I want to keep to mine too. It’s only right.”

If I could only pat his head.

“Terms of the deal we made,” I added with a nod.

“Seeing as my son isn’t old enough to make deals,” Rick’s voice sounded from the catwalk, “I’d like to know.” We both turned to see Rick coming down the stairs, holstering his pistol, neater than the disheveled appearance he’s had since I got back. I looked at Carl letting him know he has to handle this. He knows how his dad ticks better than I do.

“Fine,” Carl sighed, “you really wanna know?” He didn’t wait for Rick to say or do anything. “How I’m mad at you for shutting me out. For ignoring the baby. Newsflash Dad, the baby is here.”

Rick froze.

Looking at Rick, I could see that he was shutting down again. Anything to do with the baby, he shuts down. Glaring at him, I added my own. “And how I’m scared she’ll be like me without a daddy. Clearly you don’t care about her.” I walked off, pulling Carl with me past Rick and up the stairs. I pulled him into my cell and pulled the sheet behind us. Worryingly, I looked at Carl, “Sorry, I-”

He shook his head. “It’s fine. Wasn’t expecting you to say something.”

“Well,” the words coming out bashfully, “I am mad at your dad for that exact reason. I just haven’t said it because I don’t want to push him away from her.”

He shook his head. “No, you’re probably the best to say something like that to Dad. Mom said sometimes he’s just so bullheaded you have to grab him by the horns to steer him the way you want him to focus.” He chuckled. I snorted out a laugh.

Apple. Tree.


	22. Off-Limits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update 10/19/2020- Had someone point out an oops.
> 
> I mixed up a chapter. This was supposed to be the 22nd chapter and the chapter I accidentally uploaded last week was the 23rd. 
> 
> One thing I want you all to be aware of is that I'm not going to be post Fridays this month because I'll be using those days to finish up an online class by the end of the month.

Dinner that night was a solemn affair. Carl and I kept a distance from the other adults. If it was left up to Carl, he would act like everything was fine and bustle around, but I had to remind him we had to look somewhat upset. Carl just looked at me as if he was seeing me in a new light but it isn’t rocket science! We had made a ‘promise’ to keep each other's secret and Rick ruined that ‘sacred pact’ between us. To just sit down at any table without care is stupid. Carl clearly wanted to sit at the table with Beth, Glenn, and Maggie but I had to reign him in for now.

Surprisingly, it was Beth who came to sit at the table with us, which cheered Carl up. “How are you two doing?” Beth asked us.

I shrugged, poking at my food, seeing Carl from the corner of my eye smiling at Beth. “I’m doing good, how ‘bout you?”

Beth smiled at Carl, “I’m alright. Just a bit tired from helping move some sheet metal around.” Carl nodded with a small frown before she added, “You can help out tomorrow.”

He beamed, “Of course.”

“That’s if you two don’t have plans tomorrow.” Beth looked at the both of us. I looked at Beth closer. She batted her eyes at Carl who was basking in the attention she was giving him. Something about this seemed familiar. I put down the spoon, staring at Beth some more, trying to put a finger on it.

“No,” Carl answered her, “no plans for tomorrow.”

“We make decisions as they come up. Nothing set in stone.” I told her. She smiled softly at me as if agreeing with what I said. I glanced over at the table Beth had just come from to see Glenn quickly look away. I tilted my head and looked back at Beth. Something is definitely up.

“Do you guys play games all the time?” Beth asked Carl. Why is she suddenly so interested in what we did? She never cared before. She blinked up at Carl again with a smile. I wracked my brain to remember why this looked familiar and it clicked. This is something that has Titi all over it. But why does this remind me of Titi?!

I jumped in before Carl answered, frustrated that I can’t remember why this feels like a Titi moment. “Yeah, like Uno. Do you like playing Uno, Beth?” 

She turned her head to me, “Not really. Everyone always fights after the game.” She went to ask something else but I asked another question.

“What games do you like then?” Suddenly clicking why it was familiar. Titi did this with Tio all the time when he tried sneaking a smoke. I blinked at her, grinning, “Can I guess?”

Beth blinked at me. “Sure.”

I sat up on my knees, leaning across the table a little. “So it can’t be too much like Uno and Monopoly since people argue over it. And it can’t be too silly like Go Fish.” I put my elbows on the table and head in my hands. “I’ll go with Pictionary or…” I paused trying to remember. “What did Mami called it,“ I mumbled. The image of her shaking her head at me with a laughing smile on her face as Tio argued with an angry Titi. “Oh, twenty-one questions!”

A barked laugh sounded from a few tables over. 

So I was right. 

She was acting like Titi trying to figure out exactly what we did earlier. I looked over at the table she was before seeing Glenn pale. He really was a bad liar. I found out it was Glenn who told everyone about the walkers in the barn back at the farm and he said it made his stomach hurt keeping secrets. I didn’t realize how bad secrets made him feel. I looked at Maggie to see her hiding half her face behind her hand, eyes looking on in horror. Looking over at Carl, I pretended to not know what Beth was doing. “What about you Carl. What’s your favorite?”

“Well, I definitely like beating you at Uno,“ he grinned, “but I would have to say my old video games would win over any card game or board game alive.”

“Maybe we can play a game together. Find a board game or something.” I looked over at Beth, who giggled. She nodded, eyes twinkling, “Sounds like a perfect idea.”

I looked over at Maggie, “Hey Maggie? Think you can find a board game on a run?” Maggie just looked at me, eyes drifting over to her father, silently communicating with him as he sat with Rick and Oscar. I looked over at Rick, who seemed overly in tune with the conversation, chewing on his food.

“Why so quiet?” I asked, eyes drifting between the two tables. Glenn shuffled uncomfortably in his seat and I jumped off the table going over to Glenn. 

He hates secrets right?

"Glenn," I gazed at him, forcing the man to look at me. "What's wrong?" 

He looked at Maggie before looking down at me. I blinked, waiting for an answer, tilting my head to the side. "Glenn, you don't look so good." I was getting worried with how pale he was getting. If someone could start sweating buckets, that would be Glenn.

I blinked once again before he cursed under his breath. "What makes you think something is wrong?"

" 'Cause Aunt Liza was a lawyer, Mami was a nurse, and everyone joked Titi should have been a detective instead of a teacher. Spill." I told him. 

"Is that why you're smart?" Maggie tried to deflect.

"No, George and Gabriel were the biggest pendejoes and they were older than me. I got lucky to be the brains in the family." I told her before looking back at Glenn, ignoring the ‘dear lord’ muttered. "Glenn?"

"Were you two really just talking? Cause you two were gone for quite a bit." He finally asked directly. 

"So you sent Beth to Carl because you didn't believe us when we told you something we're both upset about?" I asked him. 

Merle snickered to my left. "Oh, she got y'all pegged."

"Wait," Carl sounded surprised, looking over at Beth, "you were trying to…" He glared at her before pushing away his plate, running off towards the prison, away from the cellblock. 

"Carl!" I shouted, knowing what kind of trouble he can get himself into. I groaned, rubbing my head. "He is one of the moodiest people I’ve ever seen," I mumbled before sighing, running after Carl. As soon as I made the corner, Carl was turning to the next, until I saw him going past a door I knew wasn't cleared. By the time I pushed open the door, he was gone, his legs longer to run further than my short little ones with aching feet in small shoes. I looked at the three hallways he could have gone down, hearing a few people run behind me.

"Which way did he go?" Rick asked.

I glared up at him, "I don't know. I just know Carl has a bad habit of finding trouble." A quick flick to the cheek was the response to my right and I glared up at Daryl next, surprised Merle came along. I ignored the men and picked the hall to my right. Ignoring Daryl’s hiss to get back. I heard Rick tell each man to go down a specific hall in case he went down one, someone not far from me. Stopping again, I took a look at the halls, trying to think what an angry Carl would do. Biting my inner cheek, I heard someone stop next to me, glancing up quickly to see it was Rick. 

I didn't say anything to the older man but looked at the floor hoping that there was a footprint somewhere. Sighing, I took a left on a whim, walking calmly. At this point running won't help me find him faster. I looked along the walls, seeing that they were getting darker with the lack of light reaching the hallway. My hand reached towards my knife to give me a sense of comfort. "Maybe it was a bad idea to have Beth ask him anything," Rick uttered.

"Yeah, not like Carl has the biggest crush on her or anything." I snapped at him. 

"You two are really mad at me, huh?" 

"For different reasons, yes." I threw at him. Unknown to him that he just added a new one on my list. 

Where has his head been? I've seen glimpses of him talking to himself outside. A few times in his cell when I was looking for Carl. It looked like he was staring at someone but no one was there. No way he's seeing ghosts. 

Is he?

A chill went down my spine at the idea of the prison being haunted. The sudden darkness that we were plunged into didn’t help either. Now I'm sure we're in the right direction. Leave it to Carl to take me in places that make me nervous. Purposely or not. A loud bang had me jumping into Rick. "Carl?" I called out nervously. Please be Carl. Don't be a walker or ghost. 

Rick's hand laid on my shoulder comfortingly as we looked around in the dark. No one responded to my call. Not even the snarl of a walker. Maybe this place was haunted. Pulling the knife out of the sheath, I took a deep breath as I took another step, hoping the boy with the hat would just show up. Not pop up, just show. I don't think I can handle something or someone popping around the corner right now. I know I can’t handle it. As I rounded the corner, a body was coming forward that was too big to be Carl. Scream stuck in my throat, I went through the motions and kicked at the knee, bracing to move onto the walkers skull before freezing at the yell. 

"Fucking shit!" Merle cursed. I lowered the knife, other hand to my chest letting out a sigh of relief. 

"Oh, my heart." I leaned against the corner of the wall. Heart chipping away at the ribs trying to hold it in. 

Merle growled, hobbling up. "Fuck yer heart. Ya kicked my knee so damn hard I think ya broke it."

"I thought you were a walker. Not my fault you came around the corner so fast." I pouted. Seriously, be happy I didn't stab you in the back of the head. I knew I couldn't handle something rounding the corner the way Merle did, proof. I grabbed Rick's hand, putting it on my chest. "See, that's not normal."

Rick chuckled, pulling his hand away and patting my head. "You're safe. I promise."

"For now, anyway," Merle muttered, flexing his knee in and out. I glared over at him but tugged on Rick's hand, looking over Merle’s shoulder, pointing with the knife in the other. Rick rushed forward, pushing Merle towards me as he stabbed at the walker quietly sneaking up on Merle. I moved out of the larger man's way to not get crushed. Merle nearly fell face-first into the wall but caught himself with his hand, glaring over his shoulder for a moment.

"Carl is so gonna hear it from me at the end of this," I mumbled after Rick killed the walker. Felt a rough flick to the cheek and I growled at Merle. "Not necessary."

"Neither was that kick to the knee but here we are." Merle taunted me. I glared as Rick turned to the man who was really grating on my nerves.

"How did you get turned around this way?"

Merle stood up, glaring at the man, "Hall leads to a dead-end. Options were turn left or right. I kept turning in the prison and here I am with you two."

"So Daryl might get turned around too," I mumbled. Sighing, I looked at the hall straight ahead of me. "Guess we go straight."

"No, ya go back to the others. We go straight." Merle told me, pointing me to turn around.

"You want me to walk back in the dark with maybe some more walkers hiding in these halls?" I gasped, faking horror. Rick won't let it happen, no matter how far gone he is. "What if I get lost?" I fake whispered. Cheekiness at full hundred percent. 

Merle just glared as I smirked back. So easy.

A flick to the cheek once more from behind me. "Are you shh-ure you had to do that?" Wide-eyed, I turned around to see Daryl frowning down at me, finger pointed wordlessly. Okay, the save was still obvious. I blinked and looked at the only option left of the hallway. Go straight. Keeping my mouth shut for the time being.

I walked ahead, knowing the three men would be behind me, worst case scenario. I only got so far before someone grabbed the back of my shirt to stop me from moving forward. I looked over my shoulder to see all three men staring at me, unsurprisingly Daryl was the one to stop me. I sighed, "What?"

"Yer going back. Ain't saying it again." Merle growled. 

Rick shuffled his weight from one foot to the other as he pointed at the hall behind him. "Head that way making a right till the next turn for a left. Head straight from there back to the others." Rick directed me.

"En serio? Primero son la causa que el empezó a correr en este bendito lugar lleno de walkers y quieren que voy para tras?" I uttered, rubbing my face at the audacity of the man who caused the whole thing telling me to go back. 

"Quit yer mumbo jumbo and get walking." Merle hissed. I glared up at the man, hands pulling back my cheeks before I let go, letting out a breath of air. I looked at Rick. 

"How about a-?" 

"No." He replied sternly. "No deal, you get back to the others. Now."

My eyes narrowed on Rick. "Fine," I growled, "no deal." I spun on my heel and ran down the hall behind me. Daryl uttered a curse and I dodged to the left knowing the man was on my tail. I zigzagged a bit until I made another turn in the hall. 

"Cielo!" Rick hissed quietly, not far behind Daryl. I ran straight until the air left my lungs. It took me a moment to realize I got knocked over by a body running full force at me. I let out a wheeze of air, being crushed by the other living person, hitting whoever it was a few times. A young voice belonging to the very baboso we were looking for hissed his displeasure at being hit.

"Well, she found him." Merle let us know. 

"Walkers!" Carl warned us, pulling me up with him. I looked over his shoulder at the shadows of rotting corpses coming down the dark hall. 

"You are a magnet for those things, aren't you?" I hissed at Carl, pulling him this time with me behind the grown men. "Meet you back with the others!" I said sweetly. I heard a snort in response. 

I pulled Carl with me until we passed the first corner, full speed. For me anyway. Carl was keeping up with me to not lose me but also to not leave me behind. As we turned the corner, there were three walkers coming down the hall. I reached for my knife to brush the sheathe only, the air being where the handle would have been. "Carl, you owe me a new knife." I growled, reaching for the slingshot instead. I shot down two of them as Carl did the courtesy of killing the third before we kept running down the halls. Finally, the door was in sight and I pulled it open, Carl sliding past me as I followed right behind him.

Taking deep breaths, we started walking towards the tables we were eating dinner. Everyone was hunched over one table when we came into view. "Oh, thank God you two are okay." Maggie let out a breath of air in relief.

"Where are the others?" Axel asked us, eyes switching back and forth, waiting for an answer.

"Ran into walkers," Carl told them. My head snapped over at him and I smacked his arm, ignoring the yelp he let out.

"Stop being a walking magnet for walkers! We only ran into them because you had the bright idea to go into a uncleared section of the place!" I hissed at him.

"We did fine earlier today!" He yelled back. 

I gasped and hit him again. "You idiot! Como eres tan pendejo?" 

"Hold on," Oscar, the normally quiet man, pointed at the both of us. "You're saying you cleared a place on your own? Just you two?"

I glared at the pale boy who looked at the adults in realization of what he did. I sighed and went back to my unfinished plate knowing that once the other three get back it's going to be worse. Carl looked at me as I went to take my first bite. "Help?"

"You already dug the hole and I told you that you were going to deal with it when we got caught," I told him, taking the bite of the cooled green beans. He glared at me before turning back to the others, seeing Herschel point a finger at the table, signaling to sit down. It didn't take long to hear a metal door slam down the hall. "Ready to meet our maker, Grimes?" I sighed. He glared at me again.

Merle was the first one to stride into the room, seeing us at the table. He chortled, "Will you look at that? Eating like nothing ever happened." He briefly pointed a walker encrusted knife towards me before pulling out a handkerchief. 

Daryl and Rick showed up side by side. Daryl pointed at me with a scowl, "When we tell ya to go back, ya go back! Not run ahead." I blinked at him, taking the last bite of my green beans and squirrel. 

"Well, Carl just told us something interesting." Carol told Rick, before looking back at the accused. "How he and Cielo cleared a room of walkers."

"Okay, clearing a room is a stretch. We-" Carl didn't get to finish before Rick's face soured.

"I knew you two were up to something." Rick was turning red with anger, pointing at Carl. "There is no way you two could disappear from sight for nearly two hours just talking and playing games without someone else coming across either one of you."

Daryl nearly threw down his crossbow at the table Merle was taking apart his knife from his arm. "Fucking kidding me." He muttered loud enough for those close to hear. He turned his angry glare to me. "Where did ya go?"

Carl was the one to answer for me. "The library. Thought-" I winced at the wrong choice word before Rick blew up again. 

"You thought wrong!" Carl turned to glare at Rick in return. 

"Well, I'm thinking clearer than you are, that's for sure!" He shouted. Rick's jaw clenched at the response. Okay, going downhill and fast. 

"Carl, maybe you shouldn't-" 

"Stay out of it, Cielo!" Daryl interrupted me. I glared over at him.

"I'm trying for Carl to not-"

"Ain’t yer concern. Rick will handle Carl. Ya gonna answer to me!" He marched up, pointing at himself.

"Well like you said this morning, you aren't my dad, so what does it matter to you!" I hissed at him. That stopped Daryl in his tracks. The muscles in his jaw betrayed the mask he put on immediately after the words left my lips. 

Sucks doesn't it?

The entire room was silent. Not even the baby let out a cry. Both Carl and I glared over at the men who were staring back with as much force as we were. Herschel, ever the peacemaker, broke the silence.

"Seeing how late it is and how everyone is back safely," his eyes darted at those in the standoff, "we'll continue this when our heads have cooled down a bit. No point in making hasty decisions when everyone is heated."

Merle scoffed, "Putting it off ain't going to do a damn thing. Kids are just as hot-headed as these two from the looks of it."

"Knife now," Daryl commanded, silently agreeing with Merle.

"Then go back through that door and get it," I replied sweetly. Daryl blinked and then his face curled in anger once more.

"Ya mean to tell me ya ran after Carl without it?" 

I scoffed, "No, I dropped it after getting tackled to the floor when Carl was running from them."

"Then how did ya get past the three walkers? Boy couldn't do it on his own." Merle was perplexed. "By the time he would kill one the other two would've been on him."

"Slingshot." Carl replied for me, still staring down his father.

I put my elbow on the table to rest my head in my hand. "You aren’t going to leave me defenseless in these walls without it are you? I mean," I scrunch my nose pretending to think, "you broke my bow, so…"

"Cielo," Carol warned. Stopping me from continuing. 

"Didn't realize you lot were bitchy so early in life." Merle snorted.

"Merle!" Several of the adults shouted in disbelief and anger. Axel and Beth were in just plain disbelief. I looked over at the greying man passively.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked him. My lot?

“Something Merle shouldn’t say ever,” Oscar answered for him, glaring at the man, sizing him up. 

Merle chortled again, “And like I told T-Dog, I ain’t never letting no-” He was cut off by Daryl.

“Why do ya gotta go and do that shit!” He glared at his older brother. He pointed at Carl and me, “The issue we dealin’ with right now is these kids runnin’ off and killin’ walkers like they're grown. Then ya think ya can go and be an asshole?” He flung an entire arm Merle’s way, pacing. “To a kid on top of that? As if ya already don’t got things against ya.”

“The kid said it herself,” Merle gestured with his metal arm, “ya ain’t her daddy. She ain’t no Dixon. Not yer problem.” 

Daryl glared at his brother. “I shot down her mama. My responsibility.” I rolled my eyes, biting back the scream. He only bothered taking care of me because he did Mami a favor? He already stopped her from being a monster. He didn’t have to take care of me after that!

“Did ya go and sleep with her mama too?” Merle mocked him. “Only way she’s yer responsibility is if she's Dixon- and I know I’m old baby brother -but my memory don’t remember Dixon attached to her name.”

“You two are just going to go in circles. I’m going to bed.” I announced, getting up and heading towards the stairs. Not particularly sure what sleeping in the same bed as Mami had anything to do with things but Merle is just a cerdo. An absolute pig. It probably wasn’t nice to begin with.

“I’m sleeping in the top bunk, wait up for me. I want to grab some stuff.” Carl announces after me, moving faster than I was towards the stairs. He was already halfway up them when Rick shouted after him.

“Carl!”

I ignored the fight between father and son and just went up the stairs and straight to my cell. I untied the sheet as Carl stormed over, bag over his shoulder. I blinked at that in surprise. How long was I going to share my cell with him? He walked past me as I pulled on the sheet, closing it over the cell door. Seeing him toss the bag on the top bunk he walked over and closed the cell door shut, screeching of the cell door echoing. I just looked at the angry teenager who climbed up the bunk bed and laid down. Leaving him be, I went under the bunk bed, changing into my pajama pants only. 

* * *

The next morning just picked up from yesterday’s tense mood. Carl kept close to me, not wanting to do much with any of the others besides the baby. He was shooting everyone glares, especially at Beth when she so much as tried talking to him. Today, he was actually the one caring for the baby. Wouldn’t even let any of them hold her but me when he needed to free up his hands. Seeing him take initiative to bottle feed her and even go as far as change her dirty diaper, I was impressed.

He noticed my staring and sighed, “What?”

I shook my head. “Nothing, just surprised at you being such a good brother.”

“Didn’t think I could do it?” He turned the glare on me, which I ignored.

“Well, if you remember, I did yell at you back at the farm saying how sorry I felt for her having a big jerk as a big brother…” I trailed off, knowing that he had to remember that day. Seeing the glare turn into a wince told me he did very well.

“Yeah, I do.” He looked down at the baby, a small smile on his face. Smiling at the two in front of me, I scanned my surroundings outside the courtyard. Since Carl and I were on lockdown, the only real punishment that could be given other than chores, we had to be in sight of at least two adults at all times. Currently, one of the two seemed to be talking to the air in front of him, shaking his head.

“He isn’t going to get better,” Carl whispered to me, staring at his father. “Mom’s death really broke him.”

“Hmm, he will, it just won’t be easy,” I promised him. “Plus, you Grimes are so stubborn, if someone says to not do something you go and do it anyway.” I grinned at him, letting him know I wasn’t being mean about it. It’s just the truth.

He scoffed. "You're just as bad."

"Lies." I kept grinning.

He looked down at Judith, who grunted up at him. "Are you mad at Daryl because he said he wasn't your dad?"

My grin completely faded and I glanced over to see Rick was still by the fences, seeming to plead with someone. "Kinda," I grumbled, "he says he’ll be a bad one but I think he's thinking too hard."

He finally looked at me. "So why are you really mad?"

I bit my bottom lip and picked at the skin on the edge of my nails, not looking at him. "'Cause I felt stupid. Daryl is someone who isn't Grandpa or my uncles that actually cared about me…" I breathed in deeply to avoid crying again. "He's the first to care, you know…"

"So you were mad because he made you feel dumb?" He sounded as confused as he looked.

I looked up at the sky, white clouds wispy thin in the bright blue sky, "Kinda. It's like, like," I scrambled to think of how to make him understand. Biting my lip harshly, I think I had one, "Like when you were mad at Lori."

Carl flinched at that comparison but I kept going. "You were mad at her but she was your mom and no matter what you loved her. Except, Daryl isn't my real dad but I felt like he was my dad. Now, I feel like he doesn't want me like my real dad." My voice cracked at the end and I roughly wiped at the tear that escaped my eye.

Carl said nothing but look at me with pity. I pouted, "I just wanna throw away my arrows and quiver just to make him hurt as much as he hurt me but I love it too much to do that."

Carl smiled at that and secured Judith to his chest before reaching over and pulling my head to his shoulder. "He cares. He's just weird about saying things." I looked up at him, tears still threatening to fall.

He rolled his eyes, "Have you seen Merle? Does he look like he says nice things?"

I growled at the mention of the older Dixon. "Que le muerde un perro." 

Carl blinked astonished at the anger in my voice as I pulled away with a scowl. "What did you say?"

"I hope a dog bites him." I hissed out.

Carl tried to stop the laugh, the first coming out as a cough, but he couldn't stop the rest. The motion seemed to have startled the baby as she let out a displeased whine. I just frowned at Carl. I meant what I said.

As Carl's laughter died down, I heard someone was walking up to us and saw that it was Glenn. We just stared at the Korean, waiting for him to say something. He shuffled in his spot before saying something. "So, Maggie and I are going out to get more formula for the baby."

I blinked at him, waiting for why he came here to tell us that. Carl and I were more or less on the same wavelength of not speaking to the adults. He was more adamant about it than I was. However, I was definitely not talking to Daryl. Or Merle but he was a whole different case in itself. He sighed, "Any requests besides new clothes?"

Carl looked back at the baby, who was cooing up at him. I tilted my head debating on it. "If it's about getting back in our good books, that's gonna take a while. Chocolate or no chocolate."

He ran a hand through his hair, "Okay, but you two went to a place full of walkers. You both could have been bit or worse."

"Not like we purposely planned on running into walkers." I threw back. "Carl wanted to be nice and show me the library cause he knew I was upset."

Glenn frowned. "Wait, what were you upset about?"

"Don't worry about it. I was just dumb to think something." I told him, glancing over by the car Maggie was waiting. "Probably best you go."

He glanced over his shoulder before looking down at me. "If it's a girl thing…"

"No, it's a Cielo doesn't want to talk about it so drop it." I was starting to lose my patience. 

"Sure? Because-"

"When are you going to ask Maggie to be your wife?" I threw at him. His jaw dropped and he looked back at the brunette that was the apple of his eye before looking back at me. I raised a brow, waiting for an answer but he gestured behind him, slowly backing away.

"I gotta go."

"Bye." I sweetly waved him away. Glenn shuffled away just as quickly as he came here. Carl let out a low laugh.

"Do you have something for everyone?"

I sighed, leaning into his shoulder looking down at our newest companion. "No, some are just too easy, like Glenn." I smiled at the baby. "Have you thought about names for her?"

Carl frowned. "Judith has been going around my mind. I had a teacher whose name was Judith. She was really nice."

"Sounds like a good name." Rick’s voice sounded behind us. I pulled away as we both looked at Rick standing behind us, seemingly lucid. 

"Is he actually talking about the baby or am I dreaming?" I asked Carl, who scoffed at me. Rick walked around the table to stand in front of us, reaching for the baby. Carl let him, staring at his father in shock, wondering if he finally is coming back. Rick cradled Judith to his chest looking down at the infant with his bottom lip wobbling.

"She looks like your mom." He sobbed out, face turning red as he looked at every feature the baby had. Softly pulling the sheriff hat down I waved my fingers at Carl, signaling that I was going to leave. Let them have this moment. He barely spared a glance my way as I walked off.

Walking away, I looked around for Oscar, who was on watch duty for any outsiders and me. Seeing that he turned his head my way, I pointed towards the building, knowing he would see Carl with Rick. I opened the door to the cellblock just as Merle was exiting it. Great. Just great. I waited for him to walk out so I could go inside but Merle just smirked down at me, blocking the entrance to the doorway.

"Aren't ya supposed to have two people watching ya?"

"Rick is having a family moment and Oscar knows where I'm going. Got my bases covered." I smiled sweetly. Move.

"Family moment, eh?" Merle scanned the area for the Grimes to see what I meant. His smirk lessened a bit. "Ain't that fucking precious."

"Merle, quit blocking the door and move." The other Dixon growled out behind him.

Merle glanced down at me. "Well, Princess, looks like yer coming with me. Need someone to keep an eye on ya."

I blinked at him. "I'm going to pass on that and find Herschel." Merle’s grin dimmed before I saw him hover over me. He picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder. 

"Off we go!" 

"Put me down!" I yelled at him, hitting his back as hard as I could.

He snorted. "Going down memory lane." He walked, my head swaying behind him as Daryl silently followed us. After a while, I gave up, digging my elbows into his back so I could keep my head steady to stare straight ahead behind me. Daryl was behind Merle but I looked over his shoulder. Can’t be bothered in getting angry now.

Merle’s shoulder jerked into my stomach uncomfortably as he slid me down to my feet. I looked around to see cans lined up ahead of me. I tilted my head in confusion before the handle of a familiar pistol came into sight. My fingers twitched to have the gun in hand but I looked up at Merle instead. "You're giving me a gun?"

"Ya need to know how to shoot, don't cha?" He asked, jiggling the handle in my direction. I grabbed onto the handle, doing my best to hide my excitement. "Now, let me see how yer gonna stand with the gun."

“You set up a practice range for me to learn to shoot a gun?” I reiterated to Merle, surprised. He rolled his eyes, twirling his finger at me to spin around and start. Not pushing my luck here, I did as he asked, watching as he eyed my feet.

"Move this foot," he tapped his boot into mine, "over here a bit, brace yerself better."  I did as he asked, looking at my foot to make sure I put it in the right spot. He nodded, then motioned his head toward the cans, arms crossed. "Take a shot." 

"Is it like aiming a slingshot?"

Merle let out a low laugh. "Gun got more of a kickback than a slingshot. Give it a whirl and ya'll see."

Daryl didn't say anything, just stood by with his arms crossed, staring at the both of us. Not sure if he and Merle had a talk last night or not, but they weren't at each other's throats for now. Eyeing the can that was straight ahead, I checked the safety, turning it off before firing. With a quiet gasp, I was surprised about the kickback Merle mentioned, missing my can. "At least ya checked for the safety." Merle’s grin was heard loud and clear.

I leveled him a look before he pointed at the cans once more. I aimed for the same can and pulled, missing again. Sighing, I looked at Merle. "Any pointers?"

"How bad did it hurt to ask?" He grinned, coming closer and kneeling down to do so.

"Merle," I sang, "don't ask questions you don't want answers to." 

He snorted, pulling my arms down with his hand, bending them a bit more. I saw Daryl biting his thumb from the corner of my eye, likely expecting me to ask him to help instead. Ignoring him, I listened to what Merle was telling me, asking a question to make sure I understood what he was saying. With a rough pat to my head, he groaned getting up, knees popping. "Try now, Squirt."

"Pfft, will do, Viejo." I threw back at him. Squirt is definitely better than Princess, so I'm not really complaining. He chuckled at the cheek, crossing his arms as he jutted his chin toward the cans once more.

I took a deep breath and aimed. Hopefully, I won't miss this time and waste another bullet. Squeezing the trigger I watched as the can finally fell off the post it was placed on. "Yes!" I shouted happily. I let one hand go and pulled it in, grinning.

"Alright, alright, ya only hit one." 

I grinned up at him, "I know but it still makes me happy that I did it this time!" I aimed the gun to the ground, "Besides, it's the little things that keep me happy."

"Oh," he raised a brow at me, "what was it before?" 

"Grandma making apple pie. Fishing with Grandpa. Winning Mario Kart against Gabriel and George. Mami's cooking. Abuela's monfongo." I rubbed my belly at the memory. "Really miss the apple pie and monfongo."

"No good memories with yer daddy?"

I frowned, "No."

"Not one?" Merle pressed.

"Maybe when Grandpa punched him." I shrugged and went back aiming the gun at the next can. Remembering the stance, I fired the next bullet from the gun, hitting the edge of the wooden crate it was placed on. Definitely different than shooting a slingshot or bow.

"Why did he punch him?" Curiosity clearly getting to him.

I glanced up at him, “Didn’t I say no point in asking about him?”

“Why?” He pressed.

"He said something really bad and yelled at Grandma for telling him to come over," I answered, keeping it plain and simple. Merle really should just drop it. "Am I standing right?" I adjusted my footwork, looking at my feet in confusion.

Merle gave me a look. As if he was analyzing me for a better answer. I blinked up in return. He snorted, "Think them big eyes will work? Answer the question."

"What about your Dad?" I asked him. "What was he like?" I deflected. Daryl stiffened, knowing that I already knew he wasn't a good guy. Merle just glared down at me. 

"Hope he got eaten by them freaks." Merle spat. 

"What he do?" I pressed. His lips got thinner as I blinked up at him. He pointed a finger at me wordlessly. I tilted my head in return and looked back at the practice range in front of me. 

Merle didn't ask anything else and left it as is. Maybe Daryl might tell him what he already told me. Or maybe he will just leave it be. 

* * *

Cielo mischievously smirked at Carl who was scowling at her, pulling his plate of rabbit away from the girl, who snatched a piece already. Daryl bit at the skin on his thumb watching the tiny being torment Rick's boy. Not once has she bothered to look his way after last night.

Grey set of hair came in the corner of Daryl’s vision and let out an audible sigh. "She can hold a grudge."

Daryl didn't have a chance to say a word before Merle beat him to it. "Squirt is just throwing a tantrum." Both Daryl and Carol turned to look at Merle who was chewing his food, gazing up at the two in front of him. Merle threw down his fork and opened his arms with a grin. "Gave the girl a tanning two days ago and taught her how to shoot a gun today. No grudges from what I see."

Daryl snorted, "She's probably thinking she'll shoot ya after."

Carol said nothing and other than bite back a grin, she barely moved at all. Merle gave Daryl a displeased stare but reached for his fork all the same. Carol turned to Daryl, "For as long as she's been with us, she always has her heart on her sleeve. It isn't too hard to think why she's upset."

Daryl frowned, unsure if Carol knew the details or is just speculating. Carol's eyes crinkled at Daryl a bit sadly, "She shouted what really bothering her."

Daryl tensed, nervous if Merle caught on to what Carol was trying to say or not. Merle just looked at the two, deciphering whatever incomplete conversation the two were having in front of him. Daryl knew Merle wouldn't let it go if he found out Cielo viewed him as a father figure. He would mercilessly pick at it. 

He also knew himself well enough that he would push the girl away. She already was ignoring him from yesterday. Before that, he couldn't even say a simple sorry after breaking a bow and she forgave him for that. Seeing those hazel eyes glittering with happiness his way made him feel like he accomplished the impossible.

Like he finally did something right in his life.

Like most kids, her innocence to the world erased all the hardships of the day but it also added to the heartache when the world's ugly head reared itself their way. The run to the peach trees on the farm, swindling Patricia for cookies, batting those long lashes at Herschel for honeyed tea. The heartache of when she asked him if the bullet hurt, dangling from the tree, that moment when they found her after losing her…

That was a moment forever engraved in his heart that he didn't want to see in her face ever again.

"Merle," Daryl gathered what courage he could, "let me tell ya now," he glared at his brother, "that little girl is off-limits. I don't want to hear shit about ya stirring the pot or even how ya hurt her."

Merle scowled and went to fight with him but Daryl beat him to it, leaning over the table. "We may be blood but if you mess up this chance, this last chance of us being a family. I might be the one leaving you, but you're walking away- again."

Merle glowered at his younger brother and Daryl felt a weight lifted from him. Daryl stood up, tapping the table, "We'll finish talking. Going for a smoke."

Daryl turned around, scanning the small room landing on a pair of golden-green that was frowning in his direction. The second his eyes met hers, she looked away, and that hurt more than Merle’s barbs.


	23. Vengence will be mine...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE 23, previous chapter was supposed to be 22
> 
> Honestly, starting from the last chapter I had two different versions of Chapter 21, which then lead to two different versions of 23, and 24, and by chapter 25 I liked how things were twisting. I felt in the other version she was too much of an angsty teen but we are nowhere near teens for little Cielo. No matter how much I want her to grow up quickly to understand the world better....I got to take it one step at a time and remind myself not to rush things with Cielo.
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and comments! It gives me an idea of how you're feeling and as I add things to previous chapters, I feel like I am tormenting you all without knowing what comes next LOL.

My aiming improved slightly but I didn't really have much of a chance to keep practicing. Merle let me use that specific gun because he had the ammo for it in the jeep. Once he felt I got the hang of it he took the gun back. I wasn't surprised that I couldn't keep the gun. Even Carl has his taken by Rick. Though he was more of a punishment where mine was to not be able to use it. I didn’t mind. 

Merle and Daryl eventually turned me over to Herschel. Both men wanted to go out hunting for fresh meat, seeing as we were going to eat the last bit later tonight. No one was going to argue over that. If Maggie and Glenn got lucky with finding more formula they might find some canned goods along the way. Oscar and Axel were given the opportunity to go with Rick to check houses nearby for that exact reason. Carol was on watch as Carl and I were with Herschel. Beth was able to hold Judith once more with Carl saying next to nothing with her.

I looked over at the smallest member of our group with a small smile. I felt my chest feel tight from both sadness and happiness. I was happy she would never have to deal with a missing dad as I would. That Rick finally acknowledged her and approved of the name she was finally given. That she would have a dad to love and protect her. I was only sad because I will never get the same thing. 

"Lucky…" I muttered accidentally, not really meaning for it to slip out. Herschel, despite being an old man, clearly heard me say it.

"Who's lucky?" 

I cringed, looking over at the white-haired farmer. "Nothing important."

"Nothing important is generally extremely important when it comes to you, know that?" 

I blinked over at him, "How so?"

He chuckled. "You're becoming just as private as the Dixon's themselves. I remember a little girl who came with an open heart kicking up a little bit of mayhem along her way."

"I'm not that little girl anymore," I whispered to Herschel, looking away, rubbing at the scar on my leg. 

"That's the sad truth, isn't it?" He softly replied before I saw a head tilt from the corner of my eye. "Still cause plenty of mischief and mayhem."

I snorted out a laugh, grinning over at him. "Maybe just a little." He reached over and pulled me into a side hug, which I was happy to bask in. His hand pushed back some curls from my head as he looked down at me.

"Now, let's talk about yesterday." He held me tight against him so I couldn't bolt.

Smart old man. 

"I don't." I pouted up at him. His blue eyes just told me all he needed to say without words. "Herschel!" I whined.

"Cielo!" He mimicked me. I blinked in surprise.

"Is this what you did with Maggie and Beth? Because it's terrifying." I teased. 

"Ah," he nodded, "but it worked all the same."

I couldn't help but laugh. It was silent for a while, Herschel waiting for me to cave in, knowing that I would. I sighed, leaning into his side some more. "The night before I told him he was a better dad than my real one even if he was scared of being like his dad," I confessed.

"Explains why the man is quieter than normal," Herschel responded, teasingly. I nodded, remembering how quiet he was that day.

"It's not like I told him I saw him like a dad or is my dad. All I said was that he was a better dad than what he thought. Broken bow and all. Probably a good thing I didn't say it outright. He shut me out by even suggesting it." I mumbled. Herschel said nothing else, ruminating on what I told him.

"And now?" He asked. I swallowed, feeling as if a rock suddenly appeared in my throat. 

"Feel like an idiot for even thinking I would have someone think of me as their little girl." The unshed tears was heard in my voice, no matter how low and quiet I answered Herschel.

"He does," Herschel frowned. "He just isn't the one to accept his emotions easily."

Anger flared in my chest. "He doesn't. He made it clear." I pulled away from Herschel, hopping off the seat, leaving him to take stock of the items from the infirmary we were in earlier. "I'll be in the infirmary. There's too much trash on the floor over there." I informed him.

I didn't even make it down the hall when the sound of Herschel's crutches rattled behind me. "Cielo," he called out.

Half of me wanted to ignore him calling for me and the other half wanted to look and see what he wanted. Huffing, I stopped and turned around knowing that I wasn't mad at Herschel and shouldn't take it out on him. "Yes?"

"Give him time to mull it over." He begged.

"Maybe by the time he mulls it over I won't care anymore." I spat out.

I couldn't help but be mad. The walk over to the infirmary didn't help calm me down. For a guy who says he doesn't know how to take care of a girl, he has enough emotions of his own to be able to understand where I'm coming from. I slammed the door to the infirmary open, looking around for the garage bin that had to be in the room. 

"Let him mull it over." I scoffed as I spotted the decent-sized bin. Knocking off the top, I saw an empty trash bag. Knowing that the brooms and dustpan would be in some janitorial closet, I sighed, realizing I would have to go back and ask him where it was.

I turned around and headed back down the hallway I came from. Rounding the last corner, I saw Rick was back with the previous inmates of the prison. They were stacking up the cans that they managed to scrounge up. Rick noticed me first, eyes narrowing on me. "Who's supposed to be keeping an eye on you?"

"Herschel gave me the okay to clean the infirmary. I just came to ask where the dustpan was." I shrugged. "Besides, you know that I'm nowhere near as a trouble maker as your son." I sniffed, remembering the afterthought.

"Hey!" An undignified Carl responded somewhere behind Rick. 

"Magnet." I retorted, not missing out on the gleam in Rick's eyes. Even the man knew it. Oscar and Axel didn't make any effort to hide their smiles.

"You're still trouble." He defended his son. I just grinned as I glided over.

"But the fun kind of trouble!" I couldn't keep in the laugh. I browsed the items they brought in and gasped in awe. "Is that a box of cake!" Eyes shining, I looked up at Rick. "When?" I whispered loudly.

Rick shook his head at me, unsure what to even say. He grabbed the box of cake and gave me a look that I've seen plenty of times. That's clearly the last time I will be seeing that box until the cake has been made.

"Rick," Herschel’s stern voice echoed in the room. "We have a visitor."

I saw Carl run past the man leaning against the cellblock door to the outside. Rick immediately followed his son, throwing the box towards Oscar, trusting the man to keep my hands off the goods. Before I moved Oscar snapped his fingers, "Eh!" He pointed at the round table. I pouted and sat down, waiting for Carl to bring me the news.

"How you do that?" Axel asked, rubbing his scruffy cheek, a beard surely to form to go along with that mustache of his if he doesn’t do something soon. 

"Had kids, remember." Oscar reminded the red-haired man, putting the box back on the table. “After a while, you get an idea on how to wrangle your own kids and have an idea with other kids. I got two boys.”

A few gunshots were heard outside the cellblock and all of our heads snapped over. Oscar reached for the gun he had put down, keeping an eye on the door leading to us. It was ripped open and Oscar held up the gun but lowered it once he saw Rick and Daryl holding an unconscious woman. Merle came behind them with the catch of the day and a red basket. Squirrels and one rabbit.

"Carl!" Rick shouted, heading towards one of the cells outside from ours. Carl seemed to have understood what Rick meant because he pulled one open and the man carried her in there. Daryl let go of the woman but Rick still held onto her. Herschel hobbled over on his crutches not long after, taking a seat next to me with a sigh. Merle followed the older man and put everything behind me on the table, eyeing the situation.

"Shit," Oscar muttered, putting the gun back down.

Axel looked at the woman's bleeding leg nervously. "Is she bit?"

"Gunshot," Daryl replied. Straight and simple.

"Carl, get a blanket," Rick ordered as he settled the woman to the ground. Carl disappeared. Then he turned to the young woman holding Judith, who left the safety of the cells herself. "Beth, water, and a towel."

She nodded, handing me Judith before running off. As she was running off, Carl was coming back, helping his dad make the woman feel somewhat comfortable with the blanket.

"We're leaving her here?" Merle frowned, not pleased over an unknown person being in the same vicinity as us.

"She's not coming in the cell blocks." Rick hastily told us. That seemed to help somewhat with Merle as the man just squinted at the dark woman, arms crossing. He still wasn't happy with what was going on. Before anyone could say anything, her eyes were flickering open, head rolling.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Rick let go of her, making sure she wasn't going to start thrashing around. "Steady now."

The woman mumbled incoherent words. Still not fully aware of what is happening. "Shh. It's all right." Rick whispered to her calmly, slowly backing out of her cell and trapping her in with his body. "It's all right."

She shook her head, blinking her eyes open once more and they focused immediately on the man in front of her. "Hey, hey, look at me." She ignored Rick, glancing around in the cell she was in. 

"Who are you?" Carl asked, surprising the woman. Her eyes flitted over to the boy with the sheriff hat, looking at him confused.

"Hey, it's all right." Rick tried again, trying to focus the woman, help ground her. She immediately looked back at Rick and pushed back into the wall, away from him.

"No." Rick shook his head, trying to assure her. "We're not going to hurt you unless you try something stupid first, all right?"

Yes, Rick. That is going to assure a woman who had no recollection of coming into a prison. Looking over my shoulder, I saw the red basket was full of baby formula, stomach suddenly feeling unsteady.

"Didn't Glenn and Maggie go out to get more formula?" I whispered to the adults around me. Herschel turned his head to see me staring at the red basket, face falling in realization. 

"Shit." Merle cursed, running a hand over his face, glaring over at the imprisoned woman.

Daryl looked over at Rick. "Who the hell is this?" Rick shook his head, not having an answer to Daryl’s question. Frowning, Daryl looked over at the cautious woman. "You wanna tell us your name?" He asked her. She remained silent, staring at him. "I said," Daryl growled, "you wanna tell us your name?"

She remained silent looking around the room. Daryl and Rick's body hid me from site, whether that was on accident or on purpose remained to be seen. Daryl paced around, something I noticed he does when he has too much energy building up in his body, out of nerves. Running his hand over his face, Daryl did a quick look around, realizing people were missing. He stalked over to the entrance of our cellblock. "Y'all come on in here."

"Everything all right?" Carol's voice echoed from inside.

"You're gonna wanna see this," Daryl replied, stalking back over to the woman in the cell, his eyes focused on the woman.

That's when I saw the sword Rick was holding onto. My eyes widened in appreciation of the weapon, amazed I didn't notice it at first. "We'll keep this safe and sound." He shook it at her, placing it on a table he was near. "The doors are all locked. You'll be safe here." Rick tried assuring the woman. Judith's little arm flew up towards my face, reminding me that I was holding her, soft gurgle escaping her lips. I reached for the chubby arm, gently pulling it back towards her body, happy she didn't smack me with her little fist.

"And we can treat that." Rick continued, likely gesturing to the bullet wound in her leg.

"I didn't ask for your help." Her deep raspy voice reached my ears. I didn’t take my eyes off Judith in the time being due to her squirming around.

"Doesn't matter." Rick explained, "Can't let you leave. We can tend to that wound for you, give you a little food and water," I heard Merle growl his disapproval at that, "and then send you on your way." Rick knelt down, comfortable knowing that he had her full attention.

"But you're gonna have to tell us how you found us and why you were carrying formula." He was nothing but business now. All formalities of making her feel comfortable was over. I blinked at the sudden change in the man. Judith squirmed one more time and I started bouncing her, hoping that would settle her. Beth take her back now, please….

The woman sighed, realizing Rick wouldn't budge. "The supplies were dropped by a young Asian guy with a pretty girl."

My grip tightened on Judith a little. Glenn and Maggie.

Rick stood up, crossing his arms. "What happened? Were they attacked?"

"They were taken."

Daryl stopped biting at the skin on his thumb. "Taken?" He leaned forward, focusing on the woman. "By who?"

"By the same son of a bitch who shot me." She answered Daryl, taking her eyes off of Rick. Rick lunged for the woman before anyone could blink, finger pushing down on the bullet in her leg. 

"Hey, these are our people. You tell us what happened now!" 

She hissed in pain but pushed Rick away, glaring at him ferociously. "Don't you ever touch me again!" The warning to Rick was very clear.

"You'd better start talking," Merle growled out. I rolled my eyes. He really can't just be a bystander, can he?

"She's been answering just fine, Merle," I muttered to the man. He spared a quick glare my way before he thinned his lips.

"Barely."

I scoffed. "Do you know the name of every person who shot you?" I threw back at him, loud enough for even Rick and Daryl to hear. There really isn't any need for what Rick did to her. 

The woman seemed to be done with cooperating. Rick seemed to realize this and tried to threaten her again. "You're gonna have a much bigger problem than a gunshot wound."

"Find 'em yourself." She hissed back at him. I grinned, liking her already. A quick flick to the cheek had me glare up at the older Dixon who stood by me. He raised a brow and I sighed, curling Judith into me since I couldn't retaliate and the old man knew it.

"Viejo." I hissed at him. He grinned down at me. 

"Squirt."

"You came here for a reason." Herschel brought the topic back at hand, trying to get things back on track. 

The woman saw Herschel, quickly glancing over at me in surprise, before looking back at the older man sitting next to me. "There's a town. Woodbury. About 75 survivors. I think they were taken there."

Merle hissed, "Fucking shit." He uncrossed his arms and put his hand on his hip. "Was the guy shooting at ya some Spanish man?" Merle asked her. "Gold cross around his neck?"

The woman nodded. Merle sighed, looking over at Rick. "Man shooting at her was Martinez. One of the Governor favorites to get shit done."

"Were you another?" I asked, remembering very well my encounter with Merle and the men with him.

"I get shit done too." Merle smirked down at me. "Only reason I ain't still there is because ya dropped into my hand, Squirt." I rolled my eyes, starting to fidget in keeping Judith still. 

"Know a good way to get in and out?" Rick asked, rubbing his chin, contemplating on how to go about things.

"They have armed sentries on every wall." The woman warned. In case it was new information to Merle, which from looking at him, it's not. Beth finally noticed me struggling in trying to contain Judith and took her from me. I never realized how heavy a baby could be after a while, oh my gosh. I stretched out my arms in front of me, paying attention closely.

"You know a way in?" Rick shifted his weight over to his right leg, looking at both the woman and Merle.

"The place is secure from walkers," Merle started but the woman finished for him, "but we could slip our way through. Especially if you got an old member from the community here."

"How'd you know how to get here?" Carol asked, confused about how the woman found us to begin with.

"They mentioned a prison, said which direction it was in, that it was a straight shot." The woman easily answered Carol. Well, something tells me it was Glenn who made that comment. He just had a habit of talking. A lot.

Rick gestured to the farmer next to me. "This is Herschel," Herschel nodded towards her, "the father of the girl who was taken. He'll take care of that."

"Anything you need me to grab from the infirmary?" I asked Herschel. He turned to look at me but Merle tugged on my hair, hard.

"Ow! Damn it Merle that hurt!" Came out of my mouth before I could stop it. I grabbed my hair by the handful glaring up at him. Another set of hands flicked my nose. "Seriously!" I glared up at Daryl whose finger was in my face.

"Language."

"You two are the last people to be saying anything about language. Every second or third word coming out of Merle’s mouth is-" I got cut off by the eldest Dixon.

"I'm a grown-ass man." Merle gestured at himself with a smirk. Oh, how I just wanna wipe that smirk off his face.

I pouted at the sweeter man next to me. "Herschel," I whined, "they're picking on me." I leaned into his shoulder, pleading with my eyes to save me.

He chuckled, patting my cheek delicately. "You did say something bad."

"That's 'cause Merle pulled my hair too hard. I think I lost the whole curl he pulled on!" I dramatized.

A few snorts were heard in the room. "Ya ain't going near her. Herschel can hold his own." Merle pulled on my hair again, this time far more gentle than before. "I'm gonna show ya how to gut yer food for tomorrow."

"She knows how," Daryl grabbed the haul Merle brought in, "just needs to practice some more. Went and butchered the squirrels last time."

I scrunched my nose at the memory of gutting the animal. "Hard pass, I'll stay-" I didn't get an option before Merle tossed me over his shoulder. 

"Merle," I hissed, "one day I'll make you regret tossing me around like a ragdoll!"

"I'm shakin' in my boots." The smirk on his face clearly heard as I saw the amused looks of those in front of me. 

"Bye Bambi," Carol waved. 

"No!" I screamed. Merle never knew about the Bambi!

"Bambi?" Merle spun around, looking at Carol as my view now had Daryl in it. "Now, who came up with that one?" The smirk took on a whole new level. Just when people stopped calling me it every five seconds. 

"Daryl." I hissed, glaring at the unconcerned hunter. He went and bopped my nose instead. Oh, how I wish I never promised to never shoot him with the slingshot. 

My vision swam once again before I focused the glare on Carol. "Traidora," I told her. 

"It’s them doe-eyes she bats at people," Daryl told him, the creak of the exit door sounding afterward. 

"Remember how ya batted them eyes at me in the woods, Bambi?" Merle teased.

"Venganza sera mio!" I yelled for everyone to hear me as Merle walked out the door.

One day. Vengeance will be mine, Merle. One day.


	24. Maybe I should have...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't noticed, I messed up by uploading an earlier chapter than I meant to. Chapter 22 is REALLY chapter 23. I fixed it so Chapter 22 is now TRULY 22. 
> 
> Might clear some gaps between chapter 21 and 23 that were missing.
> 
> Mention once again just in case, I'll be focusing a bit more on my online class before the month is up so I'll be posting Mondays only for the month till I'm done.

After gutting and salting the meat we aren’t eating, Merle taking pleasure in my suffering at having to gut the small animals, we brought everything in. It didn’t take long for Rick to have some plan in mind. He had rounded up Merle and Daryl the moment he saw the two men to go rescue the missing couple. What I was surprised about is how Rick was bringing along the woman he had stuck his finger into her bullet wound and threatened to do worse if she wasn’t talking. What surprised me more is how he handed back the sword. 

Did he have a death wish?

Eyeing the armed woman, I stood by Carol who picked up the skinned rabbit -courtesy of me- debating mentally on how to cook it. Taking a quick look, it isn’t hard to see what she was thinking. Soup can go a long way in keeping people fed but soup has a tendency of requiring more ingredients to give flavor. Then factor in the fact we had soup just a few days ago, even if the meat was the Dixon trademark of squirrel. The tall dark woman took a quick glance around the room herself, noticing that I was obviously staring at her. We didn’t stare at each other for too long as Rick called her over after filling in the Dixons. Oscar was even going to add some muscle to the group.

“So,” Carol caught my attention as she poked my cheek, “how did your gutting lesson go with Merle and Daryl?”

I looked at the skinned rabbit. Remembering the feel of how the skin seemed to have glided over the muscles after precise cuts into the skin. “More like a lesson with Merle. I’m fine seeing it done. I can’t stand the feel of actually doing it. Feels,” I thought of the word but failed, “wrong. And Merle was being an absolute jerk about it.”

“Merle was always the-”

“Mean one, I remember,” I muttered. “Should have added misogynistic. Always has a horrible nickname for everyone but the guys. He actually forgot Beth’s name; he just called her Bubbles. Maggie is Peaches. Haven’t heard yours yet.” Then I remembered, glaring half-heartedly at Carol. “And now he’s calling me Bambi when Squirt was loads better than Princess.”

She put the rabbit down, eyeing me from the side. “How do you know what that word means?”

“Some of the books I’ve been reading are geared towards teens.” Glossing over the fact some of those books were labeled as young adult. “Over winter, when Herschel was on watch, I would read and he would help me with words I’ve never heard of. Other times, the context of the word is explained as you read.” I shrugged.

“Explains your improved vocabulary,” She hummed. I looked back at the group as they readied themselves by loading what little ammo they could spare into the guns. “And your sudden teenage wisdom.” She teased.

I smiled, nervously eyeing the little they had, remembering the type of guns Woodbury had on hand. “Seven going on seventeen, remember?” I shot back. She chuckled, her movements being seen from the corner of my eye as I watched Rick turn to Carl.

They were leaving. 

I gripped the bench tightly, flicking my gaze over to Daryl, who was listening to something Oscar was talking in regards to the large gun he held. I glanced over at Merle, seeing him have a bag slung over his shoulder staring back at me. My eyes narrowed on him as he smirked my way.

“Aren’t you going to say good-bye?” Beth sat next to me, bottle in one hand and Judith in the other. I shook my head and she frowned. “What if that’s the last time you’ll see Daryl?”

“Daryl won’t let anyone kill him. Not unless he wants them to.” I shrugged.

“Damn right Bambi,” Merle’s grating voice entered my ears, “only a Dixon can be killed by a Dixon.” I glanced up at the large man who quietly walked over with a glare.

“You need a bell. For a large guy, you move from place to place too quietly.” I growled. He chuckled, glancing over at Carol to see what she was doing with the rabbit. 

“More soup, Lil’ Mouse?”

Mouse? 

I looked up at Carol, trying to figure out where he got ‘Mouse’ from.

“What’s the likelihood Glenn would come back in shape to chew up his food?” She looked him in the eye, a smile on her face. Merle’s grin faded looking at Carol, staring into her eyes carefully before seeming to back away. He looked back at the ingredients for the soup and nodded without another word to her. Carol went back to preparing dinner, not sparing Merle another look.

I wanna do that too!

Merle took another look at me, reaching out and gently pulling at a curl, face void of any other emotion. Confused, I tilted my head, trying to understand what is going through that head of his. Did Daryl have some kind of chat with him that I don’t know about? “You okay?” I heard myself ask before I even meant for the words to leave my mouth.

He grinned and pinched my cheeks between two knuckles, “Of course.” He ignored the scowl I threw at him as I pulled my face away, “See ya later, Bambi.”

“Let’s go, while we have some daylight.” Rick motioned for the small team to start heading out.

He turned around, walking towards Daryl who was eyeing us and patted his younger brother's shoulder. “Let’s get Peaches and Chinaman.”

Daryl glowered at his older brother. “Korean, Glenn is Korean.” He followed after Oscar who already left the cell, Merle behind him. The door creaked to a close, followed by a slam as it reached the last inch. I blinked up at Carol.

“Racist too?” I asked. She snorted, nodding to my answer as she took a tenderizer she found in the kitchens to tenderize and flatten the rabbit meat. “Ain’t he a peach,” I muttered loud enough where only Beth could hear me.

I looked up to see a brown hat still staring out to where the adults had left. Hopping off the bench, I snuck up on the morose boy and hugged him from behind, peeking around him. “They’ll be fine. Your dad won’t let anything happen.”

“Pft, not like he can control it.” Carl glum reply giving me an idea of where his mind is headed.

“No,” I agreed, “but I like to think people like Dale and your mom watch over us to do their best to keep us safe. Like guardian angels.” I let go of him, narrowing my eyes as he gave me a rueful look. “Don’t give me that look.”

Carl sighed, not wanting to get into it, sitting at the table that his father and the others were just standing by arming themselves. I pushed the large hat down on his face, ignoring the yelp that escaped the person wearing said hat. “Mami always told me the energy you give out to the world is what you receive. So if you think someone is coming back dead, they will.” I warned him.

“I like your mom’s philosophy.” Axel grinned. He looked over at Herschel. “We gotta put it out into the world that Glenn and Maggie both come back.”

“That’s the only option the world has.” I stuck my tongue out at Axel, hoping the childish antic will raise some of Herschel’s spirits. His daughters are all he has of his family. The world wouldn’t be so cruel to the sweet elderly man to witness his daughter's deaths. He already clung onto the hope for the other members of his family that had gotten bitten. That hope was taken from him.

Thankfully, the act seemed to muster a small smile on his bearded face. "Aren't you a ray of sunshine in these grey walls?" Herschel teased, sadness still tinging his eyes.

I walked over and curled into Herschel’s side, offering some support. "Well 'Cielo' means sky so I guess it's only appropriate I share the sun in mine." I pretended to be sagely with my commentary. Herschel chuckled, pushing back the stray curls on the crown of my head that escaped the braid Carol put in my hair a few days ago. 

The rest of the afternoon was tense. Carl and I had cleaned up the infirmary under Herschel’s eye. My partner in crime complained the entire time we did so. Then after cleaning the infirmary we were told to do the laundry, which I complained about. The concept of washing and then folding was horrific to me. Carol put a stop to it by mentioning I was wearing Beth’s and Carl’s shirts too often. At that point, I felt guilty enough to do so. 

The sun was setting and there was still no sight of Rick and the others coming back. That was when everyone started to get antsy. Axel was tapping his fingers excessively on some metal bar, table, his lap. Carol kept turning the fire underneath the pot on and off, wanting to wait for the others to eat together. Beth had Judith to keep her busy. Herschel and Carl kept coming in and out the cell block, hoping to spot the car that left the courtyard earlier today.

That’s when Carl heard it before the rest of us. 

A scream. 

Confused, I looked at Carl who immediately turned to look at Carol with a determined stare. “I need my gun.” 

Carol shook her head, ready to argue before another scream echoed into the room we all lounged and ate in. I snapped my head over to her this time. “Carol, this isn’t a moment where we found trouble. Trouble found us. Can you give him his gun, please!”

Decision clearly made, Carol reached behind her to pull out the gun Rick had handed over to her before they left. Carl snatched it out of her hands before running towards the sound in the tombs. He closed the cell door behind him. Blinking in shock, I looked over at Axel who was now nervously pacing and Herschel looking just as displeased as Carol.

“Did he just?” I asked, trying to wrap my mind that the moody teen had run towards the danger in the tombs. I sighed, “Why am I surprised?” I muttered, reaching for my slingshot. A hand grabbed my arm, pulling me back. 

“Oh, no,” Carol shook her head. “You’re staying put.”

“But Carl’s middle name is practically Trouble! If he’s by himself he can get hurt if I’m not there to try to help. He’s a walking magnet for walkers.” I begged Carol. 

“No,” she answered sternly. “You’re staying here. If trouble does come this way you’re going to be an extra pair of hands we’re going to need. Axel and I are going to the guard tower to see if there is anyone else surrounding the place in the meantime.” She gave me another stern look before tapping Axel on the shoulder, not giving him an option to stay put. 

Pouting, I let go of the slingshot, eyeing the door the teen had run out of. I crossed my arms and glared at the cell door that I could easily slide through, waiting for him to return. I heard the tapping of the crutches come next to me, eyes focused on the cell door. 

“If it’s one thing that brings comfort to the lot of us is that you and Carl are strong enough for this world.” I broke my focus to look up at the smiling face staring down at me. He grinned, attempting to tease me. “Even if you’re smaller than what you should be for a seven year old-”

“And Carl freakishly tall for a thirteen year old,” I supplied grinning, looking back at the barred door.

He chuckled, “Yes, though to be fair, both Rick and Lori are tall.” He defended Carl. “As I was saying, you and Carl seem to have adapted to this world far better than any of us have. As winter has shown, time will teach us lessons if we want to live.”

“Easy or hard way,” I agreed, rubbing my face at the memory. “You know, after that incident, I found a quote that had me thinking over for days.”

“Oh?” he wondered curiously.

“Deadly poisons are concealed under sweet honey,” I told him. “Made me realize that’s all that is left in this world. People pretend to be sweet as honey but they either mean you harm or can cause harm. Nothing but tricks and lies.” It was quiet between the both of us. “That’s when I stopped being that bright-eyed girl from the farm,” I confessed to him, whispering. “She stayed in that room they found me in.”

The memory of the knife playfully running against my cheek had me shuddering. 

The sound of a door slamming open, panicked voices brought Herschel’s attention to the other side of the door. I ran for it, pulling it open, running down the steps just as I turned to see Carl staring down a woman on the floor, who had a grieving man crying over her.

“Is she dead?” A teenage boy older than Carl asked the man. His eyes filled with tears.

Looking him over he was covered head to toe in dirt, sweat, and walkers blood. I scanned the other members of his group to see they were more or less the same. “Is she dead?” The teen asked again at the crying man, who lifted his head away to show a heartbroken face.

“Baby?” The heartbroken man asked the pale unresponsive woman, who had a clear bite wound leaking blood from her shoulder. Carl moved closer to the obvious couple.

“I'll take care of it.” He told them, cocking the gun in his hand. 

Carl, you really are insensitive sometimes!

“Whoa!” The black man with the beanie on his head quickly stepped between him and the couple on the floor. “Whoa, kid. Wait a minute.” He shook his head at Carl, hand peacefully gestured towards the boy in the sheriff's hat.

“She doesn't have that long,” Carl stated to the older man, confused as to why he was being stopped.

“Carl, I think they know that.” I scolded him. “Stop being insensitive and give them a moment to say bye.”

Everyone but Carl looked over at me in shock. “It’s another kid…” The man whispered in surprise. Carl frowned over at me.

“Who the hell are you?” The other woman of the group shouted, obviously feeling overwhelmed at everything that had just happened to her in the last few minutes. Carl answered her.

“Cielo, what are you doing here?”

I tilted my head. “Heard you come back.” I looked over at the dying woman. “You guys really should be saying your goodbyes. I don’t think she knows where she is.” I tried diverting the attention back to the real issue.

“How did you get in here?” The young woman went on. “Who are you with?”

Carl was getting frustrated. “Look, we can help you.” He told the lady before turning back to the pale woman. “First things first.”

Once again, the dark man insisted. “No, we take care of our own.”

“No, Tyreese!” The sobbing man begged. I walked over, grabbing Carl’s other hand in the off chance he needed to shoot, and tugged as the attention shifted from us to the matter at hand.

“I gotta do it.” Tyreese, the man who kept stepping between Carl and the dying woman, explained softly. He motioned to the teenager standing over his shoulder. “Look, just take Ben and lean against the wall. It'll be quick.”

Carl didn’t say a word but let me take him back with me. I kept hearing Tyreese telling the other man that it was okay as he pulled out a bandana from his back pocket. I walked into the hall first with Carl right behind me as he closed the door shut. That triggered the young woman once more.

“Hey, what are you doing?” She called over, walking over to the cell door Carl had just closed. I heard keys jingling as I realized Carl locked them in the separate room. He backed away as the woman reached the door, pulling it towards her with no luck.

“Kid, did you just lock us in here?” The disbelief was heard in her voice before she angrily looked at Carl. “Open the door.”

Carl ignored her. “This room is secure. You'll be safe. You have food and water.”

“Open this door.” She told him sternly, not caring about what it was that he just said. She sighed, resting her head on the bars before trying a different approach. “Come on, man. We're not animals. Don’t do this.”

“He can't,” I told her. “We have to protect our people too.” The woman glanced over at me as Carl turned around, gently pushing me up the stairs back to where Herschel was waiting. We heard her bang on the cell door.

“Hey!” She hit the cell door one more time, “You can't just leave us in here!”

“Sasha!” Rang out, likely from the man Tyreese. He must have kept talking to her because we haven’t heard her shouting after us again.

Herschel was at the top of the stairs, concerned as he looked down the stairs we just came from. “Shouldn't we help them?”

“I did,” Carl answered coldly. I hit his arm with a half hearted attempt that he couldn’t say it hurt him.

“Had me worried with you running off like that.” I hissed at him. Like a switch, he grinned at me, pulling me into a hug.

“Did I?” He teased, poking at my sides. Squealing, I pulled away, pointing at the teen with a playful glare. He squinted at me. “You know, I think I can pick you up with how small you are.”

The glare became genuine. “Don’t you even dare.”

“Children,” Herschel interjected, “can one of you be a dear and let Carol and Axel know that we have the inner situation handled.” Carl ran off once more, without a spare glance my way. Herschel looked at me with a sigh. “You and Carl are like Beth and Maggie.” He hobbled away. “I’m not young enough to deal with another set of arguing children.”

I snorted. “Wait till Judith is old enough to join the fun.”

* * *

By nightfall, Carol served dinner which none of us could really enjoy tasting. Having rabbit soup was better than having squirrel soup. But the people who we cared about weren't here to enjoy the meal with us. "They'll be here in the morning." Herschel’s stern voice was heard, tapping his missing leg with a fist. No one wanted to give the man any comments about them never coming back. We would rather delude ourselves with a positive outcome.

No one talked about the small group that Carl rescued. 

Not really. 

Other than me going downstairs with Carl to give them the bowl of soup, we haven’t really interacted with them. Herschel came down with us, to check them over in case they needed any help medically. It seemed that the woman that was bit was hidden away, likely for the two grieving family members she left behind.

Carl went to sleep in his dad's bunk that night and I couldn't sleep. I was suddenly wishing I did say something to Daryl, even if it was a see you later like Merle did. Huffing, I got out from my bed, pushing the sheet out of my way, and walked over to the cell Daryl picked with Merle. I climbed up to the top bed, knowing Merle chose the one on the bottom and crawled into the bed. I pulled up the sheet from the unmade bed and curled into Daryl’s pillow. I closed my eyes, letting the smell of smoke, pine, and what was unmistakably Daryl try to drag me off to sleep.

* * *

A pair of hands pulled me out of the bed and fear enveloped me. Without thinking, I had a fist aiming in the direction of the hand pulling me out of my bed. I didn’t make any contact but the hands let go immediately. I reached for the knife I usually had under the pillow and felt nothing but the bed sheet, confused, I looked and noticed I was high up. Remembering where I was, I bashfully turned to apologize to whoever it was. “Sorry, I-” I froze, seeing tired blue eyes staring back at me quite annoyed.

“Whatcha doin’ in my bed?” The frustration heard loud and clear. I blinked, taking a look at the hunter to see he had a bruise forming around his eye, split lip. I flung forward, reaching for his face with both my hands.

“What happened?” I gasped, trying to tilt his head into the light the small window let in through the cell. He pulled away with narrowed eyes.

“Nothin’, now git outta my bed!” He hissed. I sighed, returning the stare half heartedly before crawling towards the ladder on the side of the bunk bed, climbing down. When I went to leave the cell, I noticed Merle was there too, looking better off than Daryl with just a split lip. I looked back at Daryl, seeing him leaning against the top bed, head laying on the hand over the metal bar. Turning on my heel, I wrapped my arms around his middle, startling him. “Glad you’re okay.” 

He sighed, cradling a hand behind my head. “Go to bed, it’s late.” He spoke softly. Completely different than seconds ago. I smiled up at the tired blue eyes, feeling the weight of sleep not leave me entirely. I nodded and walked up to the other Dixon and poked him in his stomach, tiredly blinking up at him.

“Kinda blocking the way, Merle.” I yawned out, one forcing its way out of me out of nowhere. I reached up to rub at my eyes, feeling a large hand pat my head. 

“Go get some sleep, Bambi.”

I nodded, walking past the older Dixon before I stopped, looking at him. “Glenn and Maggie?”

A long sigh escaped him, “Sleeping in their cell.” He answered. I nodded again, happy to hear that they got back the two missing members of our little family. I didn’t know until later that morning that our family had lost Oscar. That we nearly lost both Dixons.


	25. I wanna forget...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Didn't forget to upload the chapter for the week. I'm just doing 3 hour study sessions to get through these online classes almost immediately after arriving home from work. I have maybe 20 minutes to enjoy my free time before studying begins.
> 
> Not exactly happy with this chapter myself but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless.
> 
> Bit of a heavy topic mentioned but couldn't figure how to do so with a bit more....finesse?
> 
> Till next Monday!

I was running, snow crunching under my boots, backpack full of nothing but blankets slamming into my back. Terry was being flung erratically as I tried to run for safety, getting split from Carl and Lori. Sharp needles were sucked into my greedy lungs, exhaling a cloud of warm air. I looked over my shoulder to see the three men still chasing after me, knives out.

Looking at the navy blue strap of my dinobag, I reached into the side pocket for Abuela's rosary. I sent a sorry out to Mami, knowing how hard it was for her to find this bag and slid it off my shoulders, still running. Hopefully, they will think there is food in it and leave me alone.

With Terry in one hand and the rosary beads in the other, I ran into a building that had its doors broken open. I didn't stop. Too scared to see if there was still someone chasing me, hard to hear anything over my heavy breathing. I scanned the room, seeing everything was thrown hazardously, as if someone else was attempting to run from someone, trying to stop them or slow them down. 

It was surprising to see this once used to be a daycare. It was now in shambles. If it was anything like the one how mine was run, it was broken into age groups. I can’t imagine the outbreak happening with me being in daycare as toddlers were doing arts and crafts to hang along the halls. Seeing what looked like a cabinet with a decent-sized door, covered in said arts and crafts, I went for it. I pulled it open and jumped in, closing the cabinet door behind me.

I curled up as much as I could with the puffed jacket on me, clutching Terry to me and moving the rosary beads in my hand like I've seen Abuela do plenty of times. It was quiet except for the snarl of a walker, looking for the cause of the noise. I was surprised that this walker was still moving but it might be because it was inside instead of outside. It didn't come near me but just as quick as I heard the snarl, it was gone, the sound of a body hitting the ground confirming that I wasn't the only living person here. Hiding my face in Terry, I clutched tightly to the beads, counting in my head. 

The others had to find me. 

They wouldn't leave me.

A loud bang echoed in the building, making me jump, holding in the scream from the sudden sound. Another loud bang, closer than the last, reverberated through the building, this time an answering groan came with it. I clutched my eyes shut, tears silently leaking from the corner of my eyes, still counting. The groan came to a sudden stop, the sound of a man grunting as something made a slushy noise, body dropping. I stayed put, knowing that Daryl or the others would be calling for me. Not banging on the items thrown around. 

“I know you’re in here!” He shouted. Footsteps circling the area, one pair from the sounds of it, the other two weren’t here. 

“Where’s your mom and dad?” He asked, “We just want to meet them.” He proposed. I kept quiet knowing that he was the bad kind of people. He was like the people who were shooting at Mami and me. 

They don’t care. 

“It’s really cold this winter.” He kept talking, trying to trick me into coming out. “If we have more people to help find food we will all see another year.” 

That was a lie. 

The food and water I had would have lasted me and Mami a long time. Because it would have been just me and her. I saw how fast the food and water Mami packed in my bag was gone with more people. And that was rationing the food out as Rick wanted. He meant to take our food like the other groups tried before. 

I’m not dumb.

The man chuckled. “It’s alright, you can come out now.”

* * *

I gasped, clutching onto the arm that was trying to push me down into the bed. Confused, I looked around, seeing the grey walls that were becoming familiar with the quiver on the floor. Breathing slowly, I looked up at the owner of the arm, seeing Merle frown down at me.

“Sorry,” I whispered, letting go of his arm. “Bad memory,” I explained. I looked around the cell to see it was just Merle. I looked up at Merle, whose worrying gaze didn’t leave me. “How did you know I was having a bad dream?” Merle scoffed, reaching for my face as he wiped away a few tears that I didn’t know were there. 

Oh.

“What was the bad memory?” He asked, accommodating himself on my bed, and I scooted over to make him comfy.

“I don’t really remember all of it.” I shrugged, pulling my knees up to my chest. “Herschel says sometimes a person's brain locks away the bad memories. That’s what my brain did. I just remembered being chased by three men with knives and one followed me into the daycare. I was hiding in the cabinet.” I felt my lips wobble. “But I feel so scared. I don’t remember what happened after the cabinet but I feel…” Another few tears came out and I quickly wiped them away.

“Ya don’t remember?” 

I shook my head. “No, I woke up the next day and everything hurt but my leg was hurting really bad. It took a while for it to heal. I think I was shot.” I looked for Terry, seeing the stuffed dinosaur not far, “Or maybe stabbed, I don’t know. That just makes more sense with the knives.” I pulled the toy to me, trying to feel the comfort he would normally give but felt none. “It was a longer memory than the other one.”

“What other one?” I looked up to see Merle far more concerned that I was used to. 

“I just remember feeling the knife sliding on my cheek.” I gestured the motion with my finger, “it was all I could remember feeling for a while. This was the first actual memory.” I frowned, not liking what I was feeling. “I think I rather not remember at all,” I whispered to Merle.

“Kid, there are things I wish I didn’t remember.” Merle sighed, patting my knee.

The comment reminded me of their dad. How neither Dixon wanted to go into detail other than their dad was a drunk and mean. How Daryl felt about me saying he was a better dad. “Merle,” the tone warned the man of an unasked question, “did you and Daryl talk about something? Because you’re a whole lot nicer than a few days ago.”

A grey brow raised in amusement, “Ya complainin’ about me being nice?” A small smile broke out on my face as I shook my head no.

“No, just wondering what changed.” I sat up in my bed, kneeling closer to the older Dixon. He reached over and pinched my cheek. Huffing, I pulled my face away and narrowed my eyes up at him. “Now you’re being mean on purpose.”

He scoffed, eyes brighter than before, “What we talked about ain’t yer business.”

“So you two did talk about something.” My eyes brightened in the pleasure of being right. 

They did talk!

“Nunya business,” Merle said sternly. I blinked up at him, figuring to push it while he was in a good mood.

“Was it about what I said to him?” I tilted my head. “ ‘Cause he is definitely overthinking things.”

Merle’s eyes narrowed, thin lips nearly disappearing, and I winced at seeing the split lip slightly break open. “Fine, you wanna talk about,” he growled out. “Which one?”

I blinked in surprise. “I swear there was only that one moment when I told him he was a better dad than what he thinks he would be.”

Merle looked at me in surprise. “That’s a new can of worms.” I gaped at the man like a fish out of water.

“What other moments is he overthinking?” I asked the older brother. I squinted at the man, “Wait, is the bow another one? I thought that was over with.” Merle flicked my cheek after that.

“It was until a little girl went and threw it back in his face.” He scolded, and I pouted in return.

Fair. 

“To be fair,” I pouted, leaning into Merle's arm, “I was very angry when he told me to butt out of trying to stop Carl from being a huge jerk to Rick.” I sniffed. “He didn’t help by demanding to take my knife away too.”

“Was that before or after ya yelled at him about not being ya Dad.” Merle taunted.

“After he told Maggie I wasn’t his kid.” I sniped back. The uprising issue caused the hurt and shame to swirl in my chest. Merle let out a low whistle.

“Ain’t this rainbows and fucking unicorns.” He muttered. 

I snorted. No shit, Sherlock.

Another flick to the cheek. How did he catch on to the cheek flick? Before I could say anything, he pointed the finger at me. “Language.”

I blinked, “I said that out loud?” I asked as innocently as possible. That really wasn’t supposed to leave my head. Merle’s look told me that it very much did leave my mouth out loud. “Sorry,” I muttered, pulling on Terry’s tail for comfort. This time he snorted.

"No, ya ain't. Ya will go and say again, heard ya mumbling a few others."

I hid the smile behind Terry’s head but Merle more than likely knew what I was doing. I rested my head on Merle’s large arm, looking at the quiver on the floor in front of me. It was silent before I talked some more. "Daryl really is a better dad than mine is. He makes sure that I'm safe and feel like he cares."

"Ain’t that some low standards," Merle muttered.

Confused, I looked up, pushing away from Merle’s arm to look at his face. "Aren't dads supposed to make you feel safe and cared for?" Merle was staring at the floor himself, silent for a while. "That's all I want." I shrugged, resting my head on his arm again. It was quiet again before I figured to just let it out on Merle. “I know Daryl isn’t my real dad. I know who he is, Grandma tried to make him love me, but he doesn’t. Daryl is just the first to actually care.” I mumbled against Merle’s arm.

“And how ya know he don’t?” Merle pushed.

“‘Cause he told Grandma that Mami should’ve just aborted me and made everyone's life easy.” I tugged on Terry’s tail, feeling Merle’s arm tense up. “That’s when Grandpa punched him.”

“Yer Grandpa did good.” He growled.

“I just felt bad for Grandma. She looked really sad when he said that. She tried hard to make me know who he was and told me stories about how he was as a kid.” I sighed. “I was too scared to look up what that even meant. Never saw Grandpa that angry before.”

“Best ya didn’t.” Merle agreed. “Not something a kid gotta worry about anyway.” I glanced up to see a larger frown on his face, lip bleeding. 

“Need a bandaid?” I asked him. Merle looked down at me, any emotion he had on his face gone, but his eyes were filled with it. A mix of them that one couldn’t pinpoint. I pointed at my lip and he grinned. 

“Nah, bandaid ain’t gonna help with that. Try going back to sleep. It’s only been a few hours since we got back.” I shook my head.

“Not tired.” I went to hop off the bed but Merle wrapped the arm I was resting on around me, pulling me back into the bed, using the hand on the other arm to push my head towards the pillow. “Hey!” I protested, head backing into the pillow so I can look around to glare at the man.

“Bed.” He pointed in my face. I pouted, head laying on the pillow glaring up at the older Dixon who I was just getting along with.

“Not tired,” I said a second time as he pulled the covers over me. 

“Too bad.” He patted my leg and walked out of my cell. 

What in the world is Merle Dixon?

* * *

The morning was filled with Herschel stitching up people and looking over superficial wounds. I held tightly onto Terry that morning, still unnerved by the feeling I got from my memory and sad about Oscar. Axel was outside by the graves, quietly mourning the man by putting together a cross, carving Oscar’s name into one of the wooden boards. Carol was right to say Glenn wouldn’t be in a good shape. His entire face was swollen, one eye nearly shut, all black and blue. Maggie was holding tightly onto his hand, afraid to let him go as if he disappeared something worse would happen. 

Tyreese and his group were quietly in the room with us, the four sitting at the same table, eating the oatmeal we usually ate in the morning. Rick was still asleep, which I was thankful for because I was worried about him seeing these new people would put him on edge. They actually were nice people. Merle and Daryl were the ever-watchful guardians of our little group. It went unsaid that both Dixon’s would be the first to put down any threats. Merle’s muscle-flexing and Daryl’s glare at poor Tyreese’s table made it clear where they stood. I was surprised that they haven’t included the glares towards the lady with the sword.

I wiggled my toes, free from the uncomfortably small boots, eyes focused on her. Her dreadlocked hair swayed as she leaned forward, cleaning the sharp sword in her lap. I tilted my head, observing the quiet woman before deciding to get up and walk up to her. She glanced up at me, running a cloth over the steel blade, “What?”

“What’s your name?” I asked her, tilting my head as I pulled Terry close to me. 

The woman blinked at me, before she put the sword away in its sheath, seeming a bit uncomfortable. “Michonne.”

“How long did you have the sword?” I focused on the item she strapped over her shoulder.

“Not long,” she smiled stiffly, “I found it along the way. I got better using it.”

“Oh.” I blinked in surprise. I thought she always had it with the way she was caring for it. She had cleaned, sharpened, and then cleaned it again the entire time I ate my oatmeal and then some. 

“Careful,” Merle’s voice echoed in the room, “she’s dangerous.” Michonne glared over at the smirking man, everyone’s eyes focused on me and the swordswoman.

I rolled my eyes. “Merle, she hasn’t done anything.”

“I’m warning our Nubian Queen about you.” He teased. I narrowed my eyes over at him trying to figure out if I should be pleased or annoyed. Daryl said nothing, keeping an eye on the woman I was standing in front of, mentally assessing the danger she could be to us. 

To me.

I sighed and looked up at Michonne. “Ignore him, he has issues.” That earned a chuckle from the ‘Nubian Queen’ as Merle proclaimed her, which even if it was mocking, at least he titled her a queen. 

Take the small victories and all.

Merle exclaimed his displeasure and I stuck my tongue out at him in return. I focused over at the previously missing couple and walked over to Glenn, who even with a swollen face, was glaring down at his oatmeal.

“Not enough cinnamon?” I joked, trying to get the unusually quiet man to smile. He looked up at me, glare lessened but the anger still there.

“Sore to eat.” I nodded quietly as he went back to glaring at the oatmeal, glancing over at Maggie who was biting her bottom lip nervously, oatmeal barely touched. I frowned, unsure how to make them laugh or even feel better. They’re safe here with us again. We would protect them like before. 

That should matter, right?

“Cielo, where are your shoes?” Herschel asked, settling his supplies by Glenn and Maggie after stitching Allen, the man who was crying over the woman.

“They were hurting my feet.” I easily replied, tucking said feet underneath me on the metal bench. Herschel smiled softly.

“That’s right, you grew out of them.”

A gurgling coo echoed into the room before I said anything else, announcing Judith’s arrival with her caretaker, Beth. I looked over my shoulder to see Carl wasn’t too far behind, meaning Rick will be arriving soon. Sparing a quick glance at the two, I hopped off the bench on the off chance that Beth wanted to sit with Maggie and Herschel. I saw Sasha, who was Tyreese’s sister, look at Judith in awe.

“How old is the baby?” She looked over Beth’s shoulder to get a better look at Judith’s face.

“Barely a week.”

Sasha laughed, eyes shining at the innocent being that was unaware of the horrors outside. “To be honest, we never thought we'd see another baby.” She muttered, so focused on Judith that it looked like if she blinked the infant would completely disappear.

“Beautiful.”

“Thanks.” Beth smiled, positioning Judith in her arms to be able to feed her the formula Carl was preparing.

“How are you feeling?” Sasha asked. Beth shyly shook her head, a bit bashful.

“She's not mine.”

That confused Sasha. “Where's the mother?” She looked around the room to see glum faces stare back at her, her question answered without a word. She shrunk back, suddenly aware of the scab she ripped open. “I'm sorry.”

“Man, you people have been through the mill.” Tyreese solemnly shook his head, sparing a sad look at the motherless child.

“Haven't we all?” Herschel threw back. Knowing that they had lost a member of their own group just the day before.

“It's only getting worse out there,” Tyreese told us. “Dead are everywhere. And it's only making the living less like the living.” 

The back of my shirt was pulled backward, forcing me to lean into them. I glanced over my shoulder to see Daryl was looking over my head at the new group, listening to what was said. Both him and Merle had changed tables silently, coming near the most injured and vulnerable members of our family. I leaned into the knee that was against my back without a complaint.

“You're the only decent folks we've come across.” Sasha finished for him, sitting next to her brother again.

“You've been out there all this time?” Daryl asked, leaning on the knee I wasn't against.

Tyreese chuckled at a memory. "Our neighbor, Jerry, he was one of those survivalist nuts." Sasha smiled at what Tyreese was remembering before a sad smile took over. "Everybody on the block thought he was crazy. Always preparing for the end of the world."

"Who knew?" Sasha laughed bitterly. 

"Jerry knew." Tyreese went on. "He had a bunker under his shed in the backyard. Sasha and I stayed there until we ran out of supplies."

"Allen and Ben were the first two people we ran into when we finally crawled up out of that hole around Jacksonville," Sasha added, looking over at the two men who were looking at Daryl and Merle with caution. They looked too tense for people who were just fed.

"Used to be a bunch of us. Twenty-five at one point." Tyreese scratched his head through the beanie he wore. "Our camp was overrun six, seven weeks ago." That's when Tyreese spared a glance over at the two men sitting at the table with him.

"And-- and Donna, she, uh…" he delicately tried to find a way to say it but Herschel stopped him from having to, knowing how that loss could be as a widower himself. 

"We'll see that she has a proper burial." Herschel sadly smiled over at the man. Merle let out a grunt of displeasure, not liking the idea of letting them roam about.

"Maybe it's a good idea to do it now," I threw in ignoring the stares at the back of my head, "before Rick gets up. Give them a chance to do so before anything gets chaotic." I warned. Herschel nodded, seeming to understand what I meant.

"I appreciate you taking care of us." Tyreese smiled. "For a while, we didn't know who we were dealing with."

"Neither did we." Carl finally brought himself into the conversation, sitting close to Judith, just in case.

"We've had our problems with people." Daryl quietly warned the other group. 

Tyreese nodded, then grinned trying to lighten the mood. "I must be the first brother in history to break into prison."

Hershel couldn't help but chuckle. "Makes me the first white boy that didn't want to break out."

Merle snorted and I glanced up at him. "Be nice." He glared down at me.

"I ain't listening to no seven year old." He scoffed.

I blinked up at him, a smirk breaking out in my face before I knew it. "Merle," the name coming out sweetly, "did you know that there is a plant that smells sweet as honey before it traps its prey to eat it?"

Merle looked slightly disturbed. "How the fuck-"

"National Geographic." I sweetly replied, blinking up at him. "So be nice."

Two snorts were let out behind me. One that I recognized as Daryl’s a long time ago. The second one wasn't familiar. I turned around to see Michonne looking at me with amusement. "You really are dangerous, aren't you?" She remarked. I blinked back in response, leaning my head against Terry’s. 

"Anything else ya learn on National Geographic that ya wanna share?" Merle muttered, crossing his arms. I tilted my head in his direction. 

"Did you know that the female praying mantis will eat the male's head? And spiders do the same except they eat the entire male?" I replied sweetly, knowing Merle’s macho man ideas. Might make him uncomfortable to know it would suck being the guy in other situations.  


He shook his head, muttering something under his breath as he focused back on the newcomers. A gentle tug at the bottom of my braid, likely from Daryl, to quietly tell me to stop torturing the man. I hummed in acknowledgment, leaning further into his knee, and turned my attention back to the other group. Allen and Ben both had shovels in hand, while Tyreese seemed to have disappeared to get Donna to bury her. My theory proved right when he came back cradling her in his arms, bandana still covering her face.

"Tyreese." Herschel’s tone was warning the younger man. "Like I said before, I wouldn't get too comfortable here."

His brows furrowed. "We wouldn't be a problem."

"It ain't up to us," Merle growled out.

"Then who?" Sasha asked, looking around for an answer. 

"I'll show you where the graves are." I volunteered, running ahead before things went downhill quickly. My bare feet slapping against the concrete floor being the only sound echoing in the room. Shuffling of clothes were the only sounds I heard that someone was even following me. Rick isn't all there when he wakes up. Best to get them outside to bury Donna first.

I pushed open the door closest to the graveyard we had, where Axel was now looking at the empty grave for Oscar. The three men walked past me and Tyreese seemed to have spotted the small crosses in the distance because he started walking over there without another word. Sasha was the last to walk out, stopping to stare at the large courtyard before narrowing in on where her brother was going. Wordlessly, she followed.

I glanced at them a bit longer to see Axel nodded his head in the small group's direction before getting up, giving them their privacy to bury one of their own. I waited for Axel to come inside as I closed the door, Allen and Tyreese digging together.

I grabbed Axel's hand, squeezing it in silent support. He smiled as he glanced down at me, mustache twitching from the small smile. 

"Ain't you a sweetheart," Axel pinched my cheeks with his other hand. Internally, I was unhappy with it but allowed the grieving man to do so without complaint.

Merle snorted. "Sweet as honey." He mocked, narrowed eyes on me.

"You catch more with honey than vinegar." I sweetly replied. Daryl let out a low chuckle, knowing exactly where I was going with it.   


Merle is nothing but vinegar...

"Are y'all sure she's just seven?" Merle asked the group, seemingly concerned.

"Going on seventeen." Carol countered, winking my way at our inside joke.

"What did I miss?" Carl's eyes darted back and forth, eyes narrowing on me.

I blinked back at him. "Why are you giving me that look?" I sniffed indignantly. "I did nothing wrong."

Several chuckles and coughs suddenly echoed in the room and I gasped. A large hand ran through my hair in the opposite direction from behind me before pushing my chin into my chest. "Hey!"

"You're trouble." Rick’s exhausted voice sounded next to me, feeling the man pass by me. Huffing, I wrapped my arms around Terry after patting my hair down, playfully glaring at Rick as Carol gave him the last bowl of oatmeal.

"Ain't that right." Merle shook his head, grinning my way. Daryl said nothing, trying to hide the small smile as he looked down. Rick glanced over the group in the room, taking a spoonful before his eyes narrowed in on four extra bowls. 

And now it begins.

"Who's here?" His stance was frozen, eyes focused on the empty bowls on the empty table.

Herschel was the brave man to tell Rick. "We had people coming from the tombs. Carl went and got them."

Rick spared a glance at his son before putting down his bowl. "Where are they?" He growled. 

"Burying one of their own outside," Daryl announced. Rick went to move towards the same door I had let them out before I ran over and grabbed Rick's hand, halting him. Rick looked at me and I said something before he could.

"Let them say goodbye," I begged. "Allen just lost his wife and Ben lost his mom." I tried pulling at Rick's heartstrings. Rick's dark stare went towards the door and I tried again, hoping I didn’t push my luck. "You would like to say bye to Lori without having to worry about someone yelling at you, wouldn't you?" 

Rick's head snapped to me so fast I took a small step back, not letting go of his hand, blinking up owlishly. The muscles in his jaw clenched and released so fast that I was worried he was going to hurt himself. A long exhale escaped him as he used his other hand to rub at his jaw harshly before nodding. I squeezed his hand once before letting go, watching as Rick went back up the stairs, likely the cell he shared with Carl. 

Nervously, I let out a deep breath of air of my own. I walked over to the bowl Rick left behind and lifted it, putting down Terry. I walked over to Carl, offering him the bowl of food. "See if he can eat something." 

Carl took the bowl with a frown. "I'll give him a minute." 

I nodded once more, not saying another word as a thin arm wrapped around me. Peeking over my shoulder, I see Carol lean forward to give a kiss on the crown of my head. "Brave little thing, aren't you."

"My heart's still racing," I confessed to her. "I thought he broke his neck with how fast he moved."

"Bambi," Daryl called out. I glanced over to the stoic hunter. His eyes looked at me sternly. "Don't ever do that again. He ain't…" 

Daryl didn’t finish but I knew what he meant. We all did with the exception of Michonne. I looked at the ground knowing where Daryl was coming from but at the same time, I knew they had the right to grieve losing Donna without being attacked verbally. "Rick wouldn't hurt me. He wouldn't hurt any of us." I tried instead. "We're family," I said quietly but the room amplified it.

It was silent for a moment. I wiggled my toes nervously, suddenly wishing I had Terry in my arms still. "When he's in his right mind he wouldn't," Merle was somber when he said this, "but ya don’t know when he is and when he ain't."

I bit my lip, knowing when was a good time to push and when to leave things alone. This is something that is left alone. I nodded quietly, letting him know that I heard what he was telling me. Carl was looking down too, unsure what to say. He knew his dad wasn't doing too well. Instead, he asked a different question that I wasn't expecting.

"Why are you barefoot?" 

I looked over at the confused teen, who was focused on my feet. I wiggled my toes in response. "'Cause I wanna." I joked. 

Carl snorted. He poked my face in retaliation before I realized what happened, completely caught off guard. Herschel must have seen something on my face, stopping me in my tracks, "Cielo."

I blinked over, "What? I wasn't gonna do anything."

"I've known ya for a week and know yer trouble. If the old man saw something, ya were up to no good." Merle jumped to agree with the older man. I pouted, playfully glaring at Carl.

"Didn't even do nothing," I muttered to him as he grinned. 

"Not yet," Beth giggled. "Daddy always knew when me and Maggie were gonna start a fight."

I sighed, knowing that there was no winning. "Innocent until proven guilty is the term," I mumbled, Carol was laughing as she was the one who heard me.

"You're right," she agreed, "innocent until proven guilty but we know you well enough by now." I turned into Carol's body, wrapping my arms around her as I put my feet into Carl’s lap. 

"You're supposed to be on my side." I sighed dramatically. Carl pushed my feet off his lap with a grunt. I looked over my shoulder and stuck my tongue out at him. "I'm the cute one, remember?" I winked at Carol with a grin. 

I've been practicing and managed to do it!

Glenn snapped, "Well, being cute won't stop the Governor's people from coming to kill you!" He stood up quickly, pulling his hand out of Maggie’s. "That's what we should be focusing on!"

"You said Merle nearly tried killing you with his buddies. Yet, there you are cuddling up to him." Glenn shouted at me, ignoring Maggie who was trying to get his attention. "And over the winter you were beaten black and blue that you don't even remember what was done to you! You should know better by now!"

I pulled away from Carol, feeling my chest tighten, wide-eyed at the usually carefree Glenn turning red from anger. "Maybe if you remember then you'll know that being cute isn't going to keep you safe!" He spat. Daryl was so close to Glenn that I saw the dark look he gave the Asian man, Merle taking an actual step forward.

"That's not true," my voice cracked. "I remember hiding in the cabinet, with Abuela's rosary, waiting for him to go away." I shook my head, lips wobbling, seeing the horror on the faces by Glenn. Merle was grim, knowing that I remembered earlier today. Suddenly, Glenn’s face was the one to morph into horror.

Realizing what he did, he shook his head apologetically. "Cielo, I'm sorry kiddo." 

I nodded, knowing he really didn't mean to, but the fear was back.

It was like he was here. 

Breathing down my neck as I tried to hide.

Almost as if he was starting to come around the hall with a sick grin in his face.

_ "Little pig, little pig,” He sang as he searched up and down the aisles. _

Terror gripped me, feeling that he was closer than before, "H-he was- he...I was little pig..." I gasped, trying to get air in. I felt my lungs expand and contract against my ribs but the air wasn't making its way through my body. It felt trapped. 

Like I was trapped.

I looked around, faces becoming blurred, fading within with the grey walls around us.

"I was little pig…" I repeated, tears falling, air stuck in my throat. I reached out, trying to grab Terry but another hand grabbed onto me, pulling me to them.

"No," I pushed away, not feeling safe. "Let go, let go," I cried, trying to breathe, chest getting tighter the longer they held me. They did and I moved back, falling backward, gasping for air. I barely noticed the pain from falling, more concerned about air, eyes fluttering as spots were taking over my vision.

"Cielo," Carl's panicked voice was far away, distorted. 

I whimpered, curling in, trying to take in deep breaths. I shook my head, trying to focus, hearing someone shouting but it was far away. I kept taking in deep breaths, looking in front of me and just seeing grey, nothing but grey. 

I closed my eyes, still seeing the grey, nothing changed.

Everything was silent. The faraway voices were gone. 

There was nothing.

I was floating. 

It was just me and nothing.

But I knew that wasn't right. 

There can't be nothing. 

There had to be something. 

Wasn't there sound before?

Someone was yelling. I remember yelling.

Why can't I hear yelling anymore?

I tried to focus, listening for anything. 

Something. 

I didn't hear anything but I felt warm. 

Warm is something. Isn't it?

You can't be warm if there is nothing. 

I reached out in the nothing and felt my hand feel warmer.

There is something. 

I focused harder, trying to feel the warmth, where it's coming from.

"Atta girl." Was the warped response. 

I focused more on the voice, the warmth. I gripped tighter with my hand, trying to figure out what it was. 

"That's right." I turned my head, trying to see who it was, trying to pinpoint where it is.

"C'mon, Bambi." The voice was a little clearer now. 

I whimpered, squeezing whatever my hand had a hold on. 

I felt familiar calluses on the tips of the hand's fingers. A callused hand that helped me learn to shoot a bow and how to hold a knife.

It was Daryl.

"Daryl?" I sniffed, feeling separate fingers in my hand.

"I'm here." He replied softly, a breath of air tickling my ear. I blinked, noticing that some of the grey had color, it was tan. 

Daryl’s shirt was tan.

"C'mon, baby girl." He whispered, clear. 

I closed my eyes, seeing nothing but black, and opened them again, focusing on my hand, seeing a larger one with dirt underneath the nails holding it. Hands that I knew hid snares in the ground with Merle earlier today.

I turned around, pulling my head up to see worrying teal eyes. I felt my lips wobble, "Da-Da-" the word was stuck in my throat but I felt the relief escape the man. He kissed the top of my head, pulling me into his chest, telling me to shush.

"Ya alright." He whispered, his voice thick, almost as if he was near tears himself. "I got ya."

"He called me little pig," I whispered back, wrapping my arms around his neck. "He'll be back. He'll come back." I whimpered, tightening my grip on the man.

"He ain’t gonna touch ya again," Daryl promised. "He's dead. I made sure of that. He's dead." I buried my head into his neck and shoulder, breathing him in, trying to calm down. 

He's dead. 

He can't touch me.

"Ya still shakin'." He rubbed my back, doing what he can to help calm me down. 

I didn’t realize I was shaking. 

"I'll be okay. I'll be okay." I kept saying, words muffled in his neck, trying to believe them. 

"You want Terry?" Carl's voice whispered. I pulled away a little, realizing Daryl was actually carrying me, looking to see Carl holding up the worn dinosaur. I reached out for Terry wordlessly, pulling the stuffed toy to me, hiding my face in it.

"Is it going to be like that every time?" Maggie's tearful voice asked, barely a whisper.

"No," Herschel replied. "How she responds can be different each time just like how she'll remember at any moment."

"It was my fault." A remorseful Glenn told Herschel.

"No shit!" Merle growled out, clearly angry with him.

"It isn't exactly known how these things happen. It is completely random. It could be something as simple as a word." Herschel explained to everyone. "Or an action. Sometimes the memory can come without any reason."

"She woke me up this morning. Said she remembered men chasing her with knives." Merle told Herschel, unsure if that would help.

"Possibly an after effect?" Herschel responded. 

"Daryl," I sniffed, pulling away from Terry’s head, "I wanna go."

I don't wanna hear it. I don't wanna know. 

Talking about it will make me remember more.

I don't want to remember.

I don't.

"Go where?" The concern didn't leave the man. 

"Bed." 

"Okay, I'll take ya." He didn't argue. 

I didn't look at anyone else. I just want to hide in bed. Get away from here and try to forget. Let the others say what they want I just don't want to hear any of it. I don't want to remember anymore. I want to forget.  


I hid my face into the crook of Daryl’s neck, listening to him go up the stairs, whispers barely making it to my ears.

I felt him lowering and I pulled away to see my bed, still unmade from earlier today. I leaped from his arms, falling onto the bed, and pulled the sheets over my head, trying to feel safe in a small place. 

"Call if ya need me..." 

" 'Kay..." I closed my eyes, holding tightly Terry.


	26. Shoe Shopping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is!
> 
> Let me say, reading the comments I got made me smile every time I looked at my e-mail....yes I keep your comments all week long till the next update.
> 
> Sometimes it amazes me how some of you can see the route we're going. It may not be 100% correct but nearly there.
> 
> (To be fair, sometimes I change what route we even are going and then it leaves me with gaps that I need to fill in for previous chapters.)

Daryl came down the stairs feeling heavy. Everyone turned to look up at him as he returned without the little girl that was clinging onto him just moments ago. Carol turned her worried gaze over to Daryl, hands clasped together, one hand seeming to twist over the other. “Is she sleeping?”

Daryl shook his head, “Nah, she just went to hide under the covers.”

“The hell happened to her?” Merle questioned the group, feeling uneasy seeing someone as small as her shrivel up after being all smiles and giggles. It brought back memories that he preferred to keep buried away. Memories that he could have sworn were forgotten.

It was silent.

Carl looked down at his empty bowl, tapping the spoon against it before he said something. “It was my fault she got-”

“It wasn’t your fault Carl, we’ve been through this.” Herschel stopped the boy from berating himself. “She got separated from us in the confusion and we didn’t realize until we regrouped.”

Carl looked dejected, not believing what Herschel said. Instead, he grabbed the bowl that his father was eating from earlier and stood up. “I’ll go bring this up to Dad.” He mumbled to the group, avoiding meeting anyone’s eyes as he went upstairs.

Glenn sat down and tugged at his hair, "I made her remember. She was fine until I said something."

Carol crossed her arms, holding herself together, looking at the floor where Cielo fell onto just moments before. "She just froze up and…"

Herschel let out a tired sigh, "Sometimes you can do nothing and the memory will still come. Try not to blame yourself. What we can do is be there for her and if another episode happens, we'll stand by her."

Michonne listened carefully, trying to piece what she could together with the little information she received. She observed those that were still here, seeing their reactions, trying to keep hers in check. The girl was just barely bigger than her boy. Seeing her scream sent chills down Michonne's mind and only added to the scenario of what happened when she was gone.

Daryl clenched his fist and opened it, debating on what he can do. The man was dead. There was nothing more that he can do on that front. Seeing the aftermath of what Cielo was left with makes him wish he didn't give the man such a simple death. "I shoulda-"

"No need to delve into what could have been done." Herschel interrupted Daryl. "You'll just go down a slippery slope if you do. I asked myself what I could have done differently many a time at the end of a bottle and I never found an answer."

Merle grunted an acknowledgment at Herschel, understanding the slippery slope he mentioned himself. "Bambi’s had it rough, huh?" The question was more of a statement but Daryl was the one to answer. 

"Yeah, she has…"

* * *

The shouting is what woke me up. I pushed down the covers that were over my head, looking outside the cell, hearing someone shouting 'no' over and over again. Confused, I got out of bed, walking along the catwalk to see what was going on, Terry dangling behind me. Looking down, there was Rick, waving his gun around pointing it at something only he could see.

"Why are you here?" He looked over his shoulder, up at the catwalk across from me but there was no one there. "What do you want from me?" He shouted.

I saw Carl slowly walk up to his father. "Dad?" Carl walked up to Rick, trying to focus the erratic man but Rick pushed Carl behind him as if protecting him from what was on the catwalk. Carol reached over and quickly pulled Carl to her side, the teen not arguing with her.

Rick swung around, gun pointing in the area Tyreese and his group were. "Why are you-- no. I can't help you. Get out!"

Tyreese put his hands up peacefully, keeping an eye on the man in front of him, backing up slowly. "Whoa, whoa, whoa."

"Get-get out!" Rick shouted, shaking his head. He started pacing in his spot, mumbling something quieter underneath his breath. Herschel was guiding Beth to the cells with Judith, away from the crazed man, to protect them both. Michonne was standing still, observing everything with a cautious eye. Merle and Daryl were keeping the rest of the group behind them. Nervous for everyone, I stayed quiet and pulled Terry in for a hug.

Tyreese was doing the same with his group, blocking Sasha from Rick's pointed gun. "Hey, easy, Rick. There's no need to-" Tyreese tried to reason with the man but wasn't going anywhere.

"You don't belong here!" Rick shook his head. "Get out! Please!" Rick was begging, the gun was pointed to the ground for a moment before it swung back up, as if a new threat appeared.

Daryl started walking next to Rick. "Relax, brother. Relax." Reaching an arm out to grab the gun. Rick saw what Daryl was doing and moved away, pushing the hunter away from him.

"Get out!" Rick yelled, "Get out!"

Tyreese nodded, grabbing the stuff he had by his feet. "We'll leave. We're going." He slowly moved back up, gesturing to those behind him to start moving. "Okay? Ain't nobody got to get shot here." Tyreese stated, hoping it would help calm the man down.

Tyreese looked over his shoulder quickly to see everyone had their things, watching Rick nervously. Slowly, Tyreese started moving towards the doors, trying to exit the room. “We're going.”

“What are you doing here?!” Rick yelled, veins straining the side of his neck in anger. 

Glenn jumped to the smaller group's safety, realizing things weren't going well. “Just go! Go! Go!” He directed them behind him, Tyreese didn’t waste time and did exactly as Glenn suggested. They all ran behind Glenn as Michonne moved over to open the door, giving them a clean breakaway. The four ran, not sparing a second glance behind them to see the raving man.

Rick was shaking his head, mumbling, not focused. I tilted my head as everyone was looking at Rick, trying to understand what he was seeing, what he was experiencing to help the man.

“Rick?” I asked, surprising the others instead. Rick blinked around him, trying to grasp the situation and I tried again. “Rick.” That got the man’s attention and he looked up at me. 

“Maybe you need to take a nap too,” I told him, worried that his mind will break. “A small break.”

“No,” he shook his head, “I can’t, I need-”

“Who were you trying to shoot?” I pushed. Rick seemed confused as to my question and he looked down at his hands, seemingly confused at the gun in his hand. “See,” I told him, “you didn’t even know. Time for a nap, you’re pushing yourself too hard. Right, Carl?”

Carl nodded agreeing with me, taking a hold of Rick’s free hand, “She’s right. You’re stressed out. Take a break, come on.” He pulled Rick, the man not fighting his son to the stairs. Rick was looking around, trying to understand what was going on, but didn’t say anything otherwise. I walked towards the stairs that Rick and Carl were coming up. Smiling softly at Carl, I slowly reached for the gun that Rick was holding, tugging it gently out of Rick’s hand. He tightened his grip on it. 

“Rick, you can’t take a nap with a gun, ya goof.” I turned the smile to him, remembering how Mami would convince me to leave Terry behind, gently tugging the gun again. Rick blinked at me before letting it go. I took a glance and put the safety on the Colt before handing it over to Carl. He took the gun from me, eyes dancing full of questions and I shrugged, motioning to the cells with my head. Carl didn’t argue and put the gun between his waistband, pulling Rick with him. 

I kept an eye on the two until Carl managed to pull him into the cell. Satisfied, I went downstairs, still holding onto Terry. Carol was the first one that I saw coming into the common area. “How long was I sleeping?” I asked. Carol looked at me, nervous that I was going to break down.

“I’m okay now, I promise,” I told her, feeling nervous about how she would react. 

“What did I say about you saying you’re okay when you’re not?” Daryl walked up to me, angry that I was brushing it aside.

“I’m-” I stopped at the stern look Daryl sent me, thinking carefully. “I’m better. I have to be. I-”

“Sweetheart,” Maggie walked up to me slowly, running her fingertips over my face, “you don’t have to be anything. If you’re scared, you’re allowed to be scared. You’re only seven.” She scanned my face worryingly. “Who told you that you have to be okay?”

I bit my lip, nervously. “Nobody,” I told her, looking down, twisting Terry’s tail. My brows furrowed together before I looked up at her. “But I have to be. I’ll be okay. I’m not scared anymore. Really.”

“Cielo,” Carol finally spoke, “why do you  _ have _ to be okay?”

I bit my lip again, thinking, trying to remember why I have to be okay. I gripped Terry’s tail, unsure of how to answer Carol’s question. The only thing that kept going in my head is that I have to be okay. Because I have to. I shook my head, not knowing how to answer Carol. Surprisingly, Beth was the one to ask the next question.

“Do you tell yourself you have to be okay after you’re upset?” I looked over to see the young woman coming out of the cell she was in by herself, Judith likely resting in the box for mail. I nodded at her. She came over and grabbed my hand, squeezing gently.

“All the time?” She pushed. I kept nibbling on my bottom lip, thinking about it for a second before nodding again.

“Do you get upset seeing someone upset?” 

I thought about it before nodding, “Mami…”

“So you had to be okay so your Mami wouldn’t feel sad?” she asked me.

I nodded. “Kids were mean all the time and she worried too much about them picking on me. She already had lots to worry about. Just like you guys have a lot to worry about. So I have to be okay.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” I felt someone pick me up and squeeze me to them, hand still clasped onto Beth. I turned my head, trying to see who it was, but they pulled my head towards them, a kiss placed on my forehead. When they pulled away, I saw that it was Carol, tears running down her face. 

“Don’t cry!” I told her, pulling my hand out of Beth’s and started to wipe her tears off her face. “It’s okay!” That just had the woman sob out a laugh, crying some more.

“Aren’t you the sweetest?” she asked rhetorically. I looked over at the other adults in the room, looking for help. Maggie was more or less the same as Carol and Glenn looked on guiltily. Herschel shared a forlorn look with the Dixon brothers. Michonne looked on with a wistful smile. Not a single person looked like they could help me or was willing to do so. I was held hostage against an emotional Carol until Merle finally attempted to help. 

“C’mon now, ya can put Bambi back on her feet.”

Carol let out a shaky laugh as she did. She ran a hand over my head, tears still swimming in her eyes. “You really cared for your Mami, huh?”

“I was all Mami had and she was all I had. I had to try and take care of her too.” Carol’s lip started wobbling and a hand quickly went up to her face, mouth hiding behind a fist. Eyes wide, I nervously looked over at Merle, trying to figure out what to do. A crooked grin was all I got in return and a quick hand motion to come over. Not looking at the gifted horse in the mouth, I did just that, feet quickly scrambling over. 

He bobbed his head at my feet. “How ‘bout we go and get ya some new shoes?”

Grinning, I nodded, happy to finally get out of the prison. “The boots really hurt.”

“Wait a minute,” Glenn shook his head, “how can you think about getting shoes after everything-”

“Even if we needed to run she can’t exactly run barefoot.” Daryl glared over at Glenn, likely still mad at the man from before. “We spent nearly a week since Merle got here to defend ourselves by putting up sheet metal, moving cars around, and stocking up on food. We can afford to take a moment to get a kid a pair of shoes. If the Governor was hurt like Michonne says, he ain’t going to attack this quick.” 

I frowned, looking over at Daryl’s black eye and split lip. He didn’t look completely okay either but he seems to be okay. Merle looked better than Daryl did with just a split lip of his own. How bad did this Governor have to be in order to not be okay?

Maggie sighed, “If you’re taking her, you might as well get her better fitting clothes too.”

Merle glowered at that. “Now, just cause I’m alright with the idea of getting her shoes, don’t mean I’m shopping for the kid.”

“It’s okay,” I told Merle, “you look for shoes and I look for clothes. Problem solved.”

“Do you even know where to look?” Daryl drawled. I blinked over at him.

“Juniors?” I answered with a question once more.

* * *

I pulled on a tag, trying to read the size of the shirt and thinking back to the size Beth wore. I needed at least two sizes smaller than her. I felt a head look over my shoulder, seeing Carol nod in agreement with the size I had in hand. I pulled on the navy blue shirt, throwing it in the cart, scanning for the next available shirt. Carol was looking for jeans that would fit me. My ankles were well past the hemline but the waist still fit just fine, which was a bit of a dilemma according to her. I stepped over the walker that either Daryl or Merle killed, desperate to toss the boots that had become small but waiting patiently until Daryl or Merle found my size.

“Hey, Bambi,” speaking of the devil. I turned around and glared at the sparkling monstrosity Merle waved at me with a smirk. “It’s yer size.”

“Burn it.”

The man chuckled as he tossed the shoes to the side. “Think we found one. Bring those feet over here to see if they fit.” I pouted at the man, not pleased how he teased me with the horrible option of sparkling sneakers.

Why shoemakers think glittering shoes were a good idea was beyond me. Knowing that Daryl hasn’t let me down, I walked over, hoping that this will be the last time I would have to deal with painful boots. I turned the corner of the metal shelves full of shoes to see the back of Merle. I grinned at the black sneakers that Daryl was holding up. 

Kicking off the boots, I quickly thanked the man as I sat on the floor, pulling on my new pair. I wiggled the toes around inside and got up to take a few steps before grinning at the men. “Perfect.”

“Now Bambi,” Merle started with a grin, weight shifting to the side. I narrowed my eyes on the man, waiting to see where this went. “Darlina here found something but I think I found one better.”

I blinked, waiting for the punchline. Merle reached behind some shoeboxes and pulled out a stuffed tyrannosaurus. Daryl snorted and reached behind his own, pulling out a black dragon from a movie that came out early last year. I gasped, reaching for the one Daryl had, “Toothless!”

“Toothless?” Merle grunted. “What kind of name is that?”

I grinned up at him. “It’s the Night Fury from the movie How to Train a Dragon! He shoots lightning from his mouth.” I pulled the plush toy tightly into my arms, eyes shining up at Merle, trying to share my excitement.

He frowned down at the toy in his hand. “Don’t you like dinosaurs?”

“Tyrannosaurus are a bit overrated. Everyone likes them.” I frowned. “Dinosaurs like Terry are underappreciated.” Merle scoffed, tossing the toy randomly in the store.

"Plus," I hid half my face behind Toothless, "he looks like a bat!"

Merle blinked in confusion and I pulled the toy away, giving Daryl a toothy smile.

“Thanks for the shoes and Toothless!” I shouted, going back to help Carol find myself some clothes, completely missing the triumphant smirk Daryl gave his older brother. 

While we’re here looking for clothes, I can grab a few for Carl. I did ruin that one shirt with the fence a little and I kinda felt bad. Drifting off to the boy's section, I quickly scanned for t-shirts that Carl would like, maybe even the plaid shirts he’s been wearing more often. Seeing a few, I pulled them from the folded stacks, folding them over my arm.

Humming, I walked down the aisle taking a quick peek at the abandoned carts, wondering if there is anything interesting. I stopped at one and started to pull things out, figuring the best way to check is to go through them. Seeing nothing interesting in the first cart, I turned my attention to the other one I walked past, digging through there and grinned. Throwing the shirts into the cart, I started pushing it towards where I last saw Carol, excited to share the surprise. 

I spotted the short-haired woman folding another shirt into the cart, likely for the others. "Carol!" I shouted excitedly pushing the cart with a run, "I found something good!" 

"Sh!" Daryl scolded. "Don't be loud."

"Sorry," I whispered loudly. Excitement still bubbling inside of me. "But look!"

Carol was intrigued and came over to the cart, glancing in confused. "The shirts?"

"No, I just threw those in there. It's under the shirts!" I giggled. A warm body stood behind me and reached into the cart, pulling the shirts to the side and whistled. 

"Atta girl, Bambi." Merle patted my head in approval. I glanced up to see him grinning ear to ear.

"Let me finish checking the other carts!" 

I ran back to the aisle, focused on checking the other carts that I didn't watch where I was stepping. One second, I had the carts in my sight and the next everything blurred as I fell forward, attempting to reach out for something without success, and let out a grunt. "Ow," I mumbled.

I sat up, looking to see what I was tripped by and glared at the sparkling shoe from before. "Stupid shoe!" I hissed, reaching it and throwing it across the aisle. 

"Bambi, I know we told ya about watchin' yer damn language." Merle scolded above me. I glanced up to see him with Carol and Daryl in the other aisle, eyes twinkling with amusement. I blinked back, knowing that I had no defense to that. 

"You really need to wear a bell," I uttered instead.

Both men either scoffed or snorted as an answer to my comment. Carol smiled. "How about you walk instead of run, okay sweetheart?"

I nodded in agreement. "Fair enough."

I got up, dusting myself off, and walked over to the other carts in the aisle. I pulled stuff out of them but it seems like only that cart was full of actual goods. Frowning, I looked around, finding it hard to believe that only one cart in an entire store was a goldmine. I looked at some of the round racks, seeing how some were full and others were empty. "Find anything?" Daryl's fingers brushed the side of my head.

"Isn't it weird how some of those have lots of clothes and others have nothing?" I thought out loud. 

I didn't need to look at the man to know his face had a small frown placed on it. He tapped my head with a finger, a signal that I learned to stay put, and walked up cautiously to the nearest round rack. Pulling his knife from its sheath, he pulled it back, revealing a mix of goods. The grin on my face expanded, the glee bubbling over that I wanted to jump in excitement. Instead, all I managed to say was,  "Jackpot!"

Daryl sent a smile my way, nodding. "Jackpot."

I sighed dramatically, curling the bottom of my braid around my finger. "Glenn so owes me an apology for my shoe shopping."

Daryl shook his head, not knowing what to say but kept it to himself. Instead, he whistled lowly waving someone over. "Bring the cart."

The wheels grinding against the linoleum floor came closer as I finally moved to check the other round rack, seeing the same thing. "How do you think they died if they had all of this?" I asked the two hunters, seeing as they were the ones to clear the store. Merle was the first to appear, pulling a cart behind him, eyeing at our haul. 

"I'll be damned." He laughed. 

Carol finally appeared behind Merle pushing the cart of clothes. Her jaw nearly dropped at what she was seeing. "How?"

"Cielo said it looked weird how these had racks full of clothes and the rest don't," Daryl answered her, stepping over to the other round rack that was full, seeing more of the same thing. 

"Ain't ya a good luck charm!" Merle’s eyes were sparkling over what he was seeing. "Might start calling ya 'Lucky'."

I snorted. "I'll stick with Bambi. Lucky is a dog's name." I rolled my eyes, landing them on Carol, hopefully, she can understand what my eyes were communicating to her. The nerve of that man comparing me to a dog. She smiled softly in return, not saying anything to set off the older man. 

An idea quickly shot into mind. "Wait, does this mean I can practice again?" I swung my gaze over to Merle, eyes shining with anticipation. 

"Damn straight yer gonna practice." He huffed. "Ain’t having ya run around defenseless when the Governor comes around."

I giggled, bouncing over to Carol. "I get to practice again!" I sang. "And Glenn has to apologize for my shoe shopping." I rested my head in my hands, leaning against the cart Carol was pushing. 

"Come on," Daryl called over. "Quit messing around and help pile the stuff into the carts. Faster we get out and back to the others the better."

Still excited about the find, I turned around. "I got the cans!" I ran over to the round rack that had the cans stacked on top of another. I was humming as I gathered it into my arms, walking back to the cart, throwing them in hazardously. 

After everything was stashed into the two carts, Merle scouted ahead, making sure that there wasn't anyone around. The hope was that if we ran into more of the Governor's people, they'll see Merle and ask questions before shooting. Of course, I don't think Merle would give them the same courtesy. 

A low whistle was the signal and Daryl was the first one out pushing one of the heavy carts to the car. I followed immediately after with Carol bringing up the rear. Merle opened the back seat to the Jeep, helping Daryl stash the guns and ammo in his cart while Carol and I were putting away the canned goods and clothes into the trunk. I grabbed a few shirts and walked over to Merle and Daryl. 

"Here, so the ammo won't roll under the seats." I thought back to the small bottles of half-empty water in Mami's car. Daryl ruffled the loose hair that escaped the braids and grabbed the shirts, stuffing the bottom of the backseat.

Carol closed the trunk of the jeep and hopped into the backseat when Daryl moved out of the way. Everyone else got into the jeep and the tires squealed with how hard Merle pushed on the gas pedal. The mood in the jeep was incredibly light. We found enough food to last us another month and a half if we were careful. Maybe not enough ammo to fight with but it is more than what we had before. 

The drive to the prison was short, its gates already coming into sight. Axel was the one at the ready, pulling the gate open as we drove past him. Carl and Rick were the first two we spotted outside. Rick looked peeved but I know that's going to change. Merle parked the jeep and I ripped the back door open, running over to the Grimes men. "Guess what?!"

I jumped on Carl, knocking him to the ground. "Guess what we found!"

"Uff," Carl growled, pushing me off him. "Get off!"

I sat up, ignoring the younger Grimes who was getting back up, grinning up at Rick, who was clearly displeased with our unapproved trip to the store. "We found food and some guns and ammo!"

The displeased look morphed into one of surprise. "Glenn said you four went to find you new shoes and clothes?"

I tilted my head, shaking my new sneakers at him. "We did but we found some better stuff while I was shoe shopping."

Rick rubbed his face with his hands, trying to not explode, looking at the silver lining of our trip. "Next time, no one goes 'shoe shopping' unless it's okayed by me."

"It's okay, I made sure to grab at least another pair of shoes bigger than this one," I assured him. "We got some clothes for everyone too. Even Judith!"

Rick shook his head, walking towards the other three adults I went along with, grinning up at Carl. "So, what were you up to today? Staring at four walls?"

Carl's eyes narrowed in on me before he lunged, poking my sides. "No!" I squealed out, trying to get away but Carl put his entire weight on my legs. "He-he-help," I squeezed out between laughs. 

"Think you're funny, huh?" Carl tortured me, grinning as he did so. 

"Mercy!"

"Carl," Herschel lightly scolded from above. Carl moved away and I took deep breaths of air, gasping, sides hurting and cheeks burning. I stayed there on the ground until I was able to roll myself into a sitting position, pushing back the other strands that pulled out from the braid. 

I blinked at the adults by the jeep and raised my hands in disbelief. "Y'all just letting him attack me like that?!"

They all laughed, turning their attention back to the items inside the jeep, not sparing me another glance. I looked up at Herschel who shot me an exasperated look, eyes twinkling with amusement all the same. Huffing, I untied the leather cord from my hair as my braid is now obsolete. 

"Talking like the Dixon's now?" Herschel teased. I was ready to defend myself before I thought back to what I said.

"Oh, no..." 

* * *

After taking a shower that night, I changed into the new pajamas I picked from the store, hair still wet and uncomfortably soaking my shirt. I turned the corner into the common room and stopped when I heard the hushed whispers of Carol and Beth.

"Merle sounds like a jerk," Beth muttered to Carol, Judith’s cooing in the background. I leaned against the wall, silently agreeing. Merle can be a jerk.

"Men like Merle get into your head." Carol sighed, "Make you feel like you deserve the abuse."

Hold on, abuse?

"Even for Daryl?" Beth asked.

Merle abuses Daryl? 

I scrunched my nose, thinking of all the times I've seen Merle and Daryl together. Remembering how he calls him 'Darlina' and ribbed him in the car when he first came here. 

"I'm hardly the woman I was a year ago, but if Ed walked through that door right now breathing and told me to go with him," Carol paused, thinking, "I'd like to think I'd tell him to go to hell."

Who's Ed?

"You would," Beth assured Carol.

"It doesn't matter." She whispered to Beth. I said nothing as I stayed there for a little bit before gathering the courage to walk up to them. Both women smiled at my appearance and I smiled back, pretending I didn't hear anything. 

"Enjoy your shower?" 

"Yup," I popped the 'p' at the end, looking to see they were folding up the clothes from today's wash Maggie and Beth did as we left. "How's Maggie?" 

Beth’s smile faded a bit. "She's…."

"Okay?" I tilted my head. A finger bopped my nose faster than I could see it coming. I blinked over at Carol in surprise, knowing that she is the only one who does that.

"Don't you worry about it. It’s something Maggie has to think about to feel better. You just worry about your little head." I frowned but sighed in defeat. 

"Fine," I muttered. "Going to bed."

I left the two women and infant with a goodnight and ran up the stairs to my room. I checked the hall before closing the curtain behind me, not wanting anyone to see what I was doing as I kneeled and pulled out the backpack I shoved under my bed, opening the small pocket. I pulled out a small bag I was stashing away for me and Carl with a small pout before getting up, leaving the room. 

I'll get another one...

Breezing past the empty cells, keeping track of whose was whose, I stuck a hand past the sheet in Glenn and Maggie’s cell. "Psst!"  I waited for someone to pull the sheet away, hiding the gift behind me, rocking back and forth on my feet. Glenn was the one to pull it open, Maggie with her back facing the cell door. Glenn looked beyond exhausted but forced a smile. "Hey, Kiddo," he leaned against the wall, blocking Maggie. "How can I help you?"

"Just wanted to give you and Maggie this." I pulled the bag in front of me, pieces of M&Ms rattling as I offered it to him. "I know you two had something bad happen and when something bad happened to me, you cheered me up with some chocolate. So here," I grabbed a shocked Glenn’s hand and put the bag of M&M’s in his hand.

"Cielo," Glenn’s mouth gaped, trying to find the words. I giggled at his reaction hearing the roll of a bedspring of someone getting out of bed. Maggie was coming up behind Glenn, looking just as surprised.

"Honey," Maggie looked over Glenn’s shoulder to see the bag of candy. "You really don't have to."

"It's okay," I swore, "I was gonna share it with Carl but after that tickle attack he's just gotta wait for the next time I find some chocolate. Just feel better, 'kay?" 

I ran off towards my little cell and froze seeing Daryl heading towards his, seeing what I did. Pouting, I walked over, eyeing him suspiciously. "You aren’t going to tell Carol I bugged them, right?"

A brow raised, "Did she tell ya to leave them alone?"

I blinked, holding my hands behind my back. "Technically," I dragged out, "she said not to bother Maggie. I spoke with Glenn and Maggie came up when I gave her the chocolate. So I did do what she asked me not to do."

A quick flick to the cheek before he walked off to his bed, "Cheeky."


	27. Heartstrings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Fixed Typo*
> 
> When I was writing this chapter, I wondered if I was doing too much with Cielo...but I stuck with it because I figured it would be useful in future chapters. It's a bit of a filler since this chapter was written so short.
> 
> I'm being asked if I'm sticking to the storyline and the answer is yes. It makes easy writing for all seasons. I haven't seen season 10 so maybe I will wrap things up my way in season 9 but if I can find a way to watch season 10 and see what route that was taken I will write up to season 10 too.
> 
> HOWEVER...I may or may not kill characters that were supposed to die. So far, I have been sticking to the storyline in that fashion...
> 
> I'm not even gonna hide that Merle won't die when the show killed him off....I have other opportunities to kill him if I want to. Like at this moment, I can think of 3-4 other incidents that happened that Merle could've died instead. Will I want to, I don't know. We shall see as I go.

I leaned against Michonne as she braided my hair, chewing on some corn from one of the cans we found yesterday, basking in the sun. It was relaxing having her fingers glide through my hair, braiding from the top of my head instead of the low braid Carol did nearly a week before. She was very surprised that I even asked her but she's doing me the favor. I think I make her skittish for some reason but if she's with us, she's got no choice but to get used to me. Glancing up, I saw Rick coming over, eyes silently scolding me for being on a stranger's lap, but she isn't a stranger anymore. 

"When you're done with the little troublemaker's hair, you and I are gonna have a chat." He ordered. His eyes were narrowed on Michonne, glancing at the secured sword on her back.

I frowned, feeling her tense up behind me. "Is it more planning for the Governor?" I asked. Rick shot me that scolding look again before walking off into the courtyard. "I like your beard!" I shouted after Rick, seeing him shake his head, not sparing me a glance.

I sighed, "He's gonna fry his brain with all this stress." I told Michonne, who laughed at my earlier compliment.

"Don't you worry about it." She reiterated the motto the other adults have been throwing my way.

"You know, when someone tells you not to worry about it, you just worry more?" I shot back. I felt her pause briefly before she kept braiding.

"You know they just want you to be a normal kid." She defended. "To just worry about running around, playing games."

"I know," I whined, "but how can I just be a kid when we got walkers roaming the earth and people who are hurting other people just because." 

I felt Michonne's fingers leave my hair as I turned to look at her. "Every time someone leaves these walls I wonder if they're coming back. If we're going to be lucky to get them back like Glenn and Maggie." She said nothing, just looking at me with patient eyes.

"Like right now, even when Merle and Daryl go hunting. Besides them not coming back, what happens if they stop finding food to bring back. Then-" My rant was cut short by two warm hands squishing my cheeks together.

"I get it," Michonne held back her laugh, "you'll worry about everyone and everything."

I pulled away. "What I'm trying to say is I worry about things a normal kid wouldn't normally worry about because things aren't normal anymore. People shoot at me just 'cause I’m not in their group. I got lucky that they found me and not some other people."

She smiled, cradling a cheek in her hands. "I understand what you're saying. Just remember that it makes _us_ adults feel better if you didn't have to."

I pouted with a sigh. "Fine," I delicately ran my fingers over the braid from the top of my head to the back of my neck, feeling pleased, "my kid request is if Rick ends up taking you out these gates, bring me back a chocolate bar if you find one, please and thank you."

A low chuckle escaped her lips as I ran off, scanning the courtyard, not wanting to go inside just yet. I noticed Herschel talking to Rick, who was outside the fence and figured to avoid that completely. I noticed the farmer has been trying his best to get Rick back to normal. Or close to normal after losing Lori.

Carl was with Beth, so in case she's getting in his good graces again, I don't want to interfere. Carol was talking to Axel, happily wearing normal clothes from our shopping excursion, both laughing about something before I heard the shot echo. With wide eyes, I saw Axel's head jerk back with a spray of blood, falling backward. Carol was gripping the dead man, falling down with him as someone kept shooting at her. 

Coming back to my senses, I ran towards the building, looking for something to hide behind in case I can't make it. From the corner of my eye, I see Carl took a hold of Beth, pulling her behind the benches. Echoes of rapid-fire sounded from around me, unsure where it was even coming from. I glanced over my shoulder to see Herschel was on the ground, tall grass almost hiding him, and I just hoped he wasn't hit. Rick completely disappeared. Michonne was hiding behind one of the buses, shooting at someone past the gates. 

Next time, Merle is letting me keep the gun after shooting practice. 

I dove for one of the metal sheets that they were using to fortify the prison, panting, sitting up. I looked around again, looking for any possible shooters who can reach me, looking for the others. The only comforting thing is that I'm hearing them yell and shout for each other.

The unmistakable screech of the cellblock door reached my ears over the gunfire.

"Beth!" Maggie screamed for her sister. "Here!" 

I didn't dare peek around the sheet metal on the off chance someone would take the shot. My fingers dug into the earth around me, trying to think of what I could do. I didn't have a gun of my own and loading a slingshot isn't going to be as effective as pulling a trigger. The gunfire came to a stop. I waited to see if it was a trick before gathering the courage to actually take a look. I scanned the area for a shooter and saw two bodies standing beyond the gate with guns. Neither one was looking our way. It was like they heard something.  


Listening, I noticed a car engine in the distance getting louder. Looking in the direction I heard the engine, my eyes widened with horror as a truck was driving full speed towards the main gates, a plume of dust kicked up behind it. Stuck between wanting to make a run to the cell block now and staying put, I watched as the truck hit the gates as if they were nothing, blasting them to the side. It came to a sudden stop in the middle of the courtyard, and I stood up, ready to run if need be.

The metal ramp at the back of the truck opened with a bang as the truck engine suddenly was silent. It took a moment but the effect was quick. I heard the unmistakable snarls before the first walker came around from the truck, it's driver escaping from the other side, covered head to toe in some kind of armor and a helmet. I ducked down, seeing him brandish the handgun towards Michonne shooting at her. Pulling at the slingshot from my pocket, I loaded it and shot the back of the person's knee, hoping it would give Michonne and the others time to get away from the shooting driver. 

The pebble must have shocked the driver because they fell over, a few of the walkers attracted by the sounds of their gun. It forced the driver to focus on the oncoming dead he chauffeured into the courtyard. Knowing he was occupied, I started to make the run towards the prison, a full head start from the last time I had to run from walkers in the yard. 

The snarling and growls of the walkers were interrupted by the occasional gunfire. One of those bullets grazed by me and into the ground, encouraging me to move faster. I dodged to the side, hiding behind some metal cabinet that was taken out of the administrative part of the building. Several bullets hit the cabinet I was hiding behind, not completely shocked that someone was shooting at me. At this point, I have come to the conclusion that if it's someone we aren't on friendly terms, to not expect friendly outcomes. 

"Go, Herschel." I heard Rick's voice echo from across the field. "Get the hell out of there!"

Worrying, I scanned the tall grass where Herschel was standing before, seeing Rick was being bombarded by walkers outside of the fence as well. Michonne's sword flashed in the sunlight, dreads flying behind her as she demolished walker after walker, running towards Herschel. Relief filled me and I started to run towards the others, a separate car engine roaring towards the prison, a familiar face behind the wheel. 

Carl and Beth opened the gate as he drove through, speeding past us and Michonne who was nearly halfway to Herschel, hitting a few walkers along the way. I clasped onto the back of Carl's armored body, wondering what he was even doing wearing one, but in this instance, it was probably a good idea anyway. 

"You okay?" He glanced at both me and Beth. I just nodded, taking in a breath for my screaming lungs as Beth answered him verbally. I focused on the rescue team assembled at the last second for Herschel, seeing how they managed to get him in the pick up before coming this way, car full speed once more.

"Where’s Dad?" Carl asked us. I pointed over to see that Rick was fighting off the walkers with Daryl and Merle on the other side of the fence. Carol pushed both of us towards the prison as Glenn pulled up with Michonne and Herschel. I didn't argue against it and instead did as she was asking. 

* * *

Rick paced the floor as I watched them argue about the pros and cons of staying, sitting next to Carl. "We're not leaving." Rick was adamant about us staying.

Hershel shook his head. "We can't stay here."

"What if there's another sniper?" Maggie threw in. "A wood pallet won't stop one of those rounds and we're lucky that the sheet metal we got managed to absorb the bullets fired at us."

"We can't even go outside." Beth whimpered, still upset about being in danger once more. Carol wrapped an arm around the young teen.

"Not in the daylight." She told her, also letting the rest of us know the current situation. 

Daryl shook his head, hunched over in his seat. "Rick says we're not running, we're not running." 

"No, better to live like rats." Merle was morose, fiddling with a switchblade.

"You got a better idea?" Rick growled at him, tired of all the complaints without offering a solution. 

"Yeah," he flipped the blade closed, glaring at Rick, "we should have slid out of here last night and lived to fight another day."

"But we lost that window, didn't we?" Rick spat at him. "Going clothes and 'shoe shopping' instead." 

I shrunk into Carl’s shoulder, feeling somewhat guilty if we actually could have done something to protect ourselves from the Governor. Instead, I had others go to the store with me, wasting time we actually needed.

"Hey," Daryl stood up from his seat, "we got food and ammo from that shopping trip. Don't act like it was worthless."

"We also didn't expect him to hit this hard so soon." Maggie threw in.

"We ain't scared of that prick." Daryl threw out, boosting his morale and trying to do the same with the others. So far Glenn seemed to be the only one who managed to catch onto that confidence.

Merle scoffed. "Y'all should be." His eyes were glazed over, clearly in memory of when he was more than likely behind the walls at Woodbury. "That truck through the fence thing, that's just him ringing the doorbell. We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he's got the guns and the numbers."

He started to scratch the back of his head, an afterthought coming to him. "And if he takes the high ground around this place, shoot," he laughed bitterly, "he could just starve us out if he wanted to."

"Let's put him in the other cell block and lock him in there." Glenn glared at the older Dixon.

"Wait a second," I threw out before any arguments happened. "We already know that he has thirty people max and you already told us he got the military stuff from the group he tricked. Why are you all acting like it's a surprise?" I looked at all the adults who were surprised by me saying something. 

I looked at Merle. "You know how he works just as much as everyone here knows I can be cheeky. You just got to remember the stuff he had you do and do the opposite, right? That's why you guys spent a whole week putting stuff around out there. You knew he would come shooting at us and he did. 'Cause if all of that wasn’t out there right now, things would have been a lot worse for us, right?" I looked around at them again, not hearing anything.

Merle snapped his head to the others in disbelief. "Are y'all sure she's just seven?"

"Hello," I waved, "logic? Common sense? Algo que es lógico? Quieres español?"

"Are you a genius or something?" Carl asked me, eyeing me as if I was an alien from a different planet. 

"No," I shrugged. "I just understand things enough that I was put in first grade instead of kindergarten to ‘challenge myself’ or ‘find my potential’." I quoted with fingers in the air at the last bit.

"You skipped a grade?" He shouted. 

"Why would I torment myself by pretending to be dumb?" I shouted back. “Pretend to know I don’t know how to write my own name?”

“Well, you kinda do pretend to be dumb. I only know of two examples!” He lifted two fingers in my face. “Who knows what else you did. You tricked Patricia in giving you extra cookies. Then when we were coming back from-” I stopped him.

“Carl,” I hissed, “we got in trouble last time because you didn’t think about what you were going to say.” I knew the hushed whisper wouldn’t do much with how silent it was but it didn’t change the fact that Carl was throwing me under the bus.

“No, this time  _ you _ would come under fire. I’m the innocent bystander.” He pointed out.

“Can’t be an innocent bystander if you went along with it.” I threw back. His blue eyes narrowed in at me and I raised a brow in return.

“I don’t even want to know.” Rick moaned, rubbing his eyes violently. Merle snorted in agreement.

It was still silent for a moment as everything that was said started to sink in. Maggie was the first to sigh. "Issue for another day.” She gestured at the both of us with a tired look. “But Cielo's right, we already knew the information and are acting like it's a huge surprise." 

"Well, even knowing the information we got nothing accomplished!" Glenn hissed, arms crossing in frustration.

"Okay, what do we do then?" Carol asked diplomatically.

"I said we should leave." Herschel reminded everyone. "Now Axel's dead. We can't just sit here." He looked around and noticed that Rick was turning around, ready to leave, and Herschel had enough.

“Get back here!” Herschel yelled at Rick. The farmer pulled the crutches underneath him, furious eyes focused on Rick. “You're slipping, Rick. We've all seen it. We understand why. But now is not the time.” He growled out, face starting to flush. I gripped onto Carl’s arm, slightly nervous at how the usually calm man was roaring at Rick. 

“You once said this isn't a democracy. Now you have to own up to that.” Herschel reminded the burdened man. He hobbled up to Rick’s back, just a few feet away from the man. “I put my family's life in your hands. So get your head  _ clear _ and  _ do something _ .” 

Rick didn’t even acknowledge what Herschel was telling him. He waited for Herschel to say his peace and still walked out of the cellblock. Everyone was exhausted, dejected, and unsure of where to go from here. When the door closed behind Rick those feelings seemed to have hit everyone sevenfold. Carl sighed, nudging me as he got up, heading towards the door.

“What are you going to do?” I asked, unsure about what can be done at this point.

“Taking a page out of your book.” He announced, pulling the door open. I scrunch my nose in confusion, trying to understand what he meant until it clicked, now understanding what he meant.

“Taking a page?” Glenn repeated what Carl said before looking over at me suspiciously. “What does he mean about taking the page from your book?”

I blinked owlishly at Glenn, “How am-?” I didn’t even get the chance to finish before Daryl cut me off.

“Ya ain’t got her figured out?” Daryl asked Glenn. Glenn turned to give Daryl an annoyed once over, waiting for him to elaborate, crossing his arms. Daryl scoffed and looked over at Herschel.

“When Maggie or Beth know they’re up to no good, what do they do?” 

The old man glanced at both of his daughters, who suddenly became bashful, staring at him with bright eyes. He looked over at me and chuckled, shaking his head, “Depends, but they always turned those big eyes at me and pulled on the strings to my heart.”

“Women playing us men like a fiddle since the moment they can talk,” Merle laughed, “ain’t that some shit.”

“Hush,” I stuck my tongue out, “all allegations.”

“ ‘Nother thing that comes to mind is that aunt of hers.” Daryl kept a steady gaze on me. “The lawyer.”

I said nothing, blinking at him from the sudden accusation that Aunt Liza had anything to do with what I do. Daryl sat down, his gaze never leaving me from my little spot across from him. “If it’s one things lawyers gotta do is put on an act and-”

“Pull on the jury’s heartstrings.” Carol pieced it together.

Okay, maybe Aunt Liza might have more to do with stuff than I thought. 

I narrowed my eyes on the overly observant man, suddenly realizing why he never cared for the big eyes or smiles back at the farm. “Since the farm,” I mumbled to myself, realizing I now had someone who would spot my tricks from a mile away.

“Since the farm,” Daryl smirked my way. 

“T was right,” Glenn looked at me in horror, finally showing a semblance of the man we all knew and loved. “You are smarter than you look.”

“I tell ya she tricked a group of men into opening a freak infested room and ya scared ‘cause she knows how to string people along?”

“To be fair,” I shot a surly look towards Merle, “I never said to open the door. I was trying to make you understand it was a bad idea to open the door.”

"So what about you shooting the driver with the slingshot?" Michonne asked.

"He was shooting at you!" I defended. "You were the one in his direct line of fire and if he looked my way, he would shoot at me too."

"You realize he got eaten right?" She pressed, a thin brow rising. 

I huffed, mumbling, "Am I supposed to feel sorry for the guy who chauffeured the walkers here?"

"Now that's fair." Merle looked over at Michonne, shrugging. 

"What else have you been up to, Missy?" Herschel crossed his arms, eyeing me. I gaped at him like a fish out of water.

"I have been up to nothing!" The indignation was loud and clear. "Rick wants two people keeping an eye on me and Carl at all times. What can I do?"

Daryl scoffed. "Apparently a lot." I glared over at the man. Before I said anything to my currently least favorite Dixon, Carl came back with a sullen look on his face. Shifting gears, I focused on Carl’s dilemma.

"You-" He cut me off angrily.

"It didn't work." He was incensed. He took the hat off his head and tossed it onto the table, a heated gaze that looked like it could melt the metal table as he took a seat.

"Okay," I tilted my head towards him. "What did you say?"

Carl's head snapped to me. "How is it that you get him to do something you want but I can't?"

I snorted. "I don't."

"Really? Then how about when you convinced him to take a break?" He provoked.

"I just suggested it but you were the one who did it." I shrugged. "I wasn't the one to take his hand and go up the stairs. You did."

He still looked irritated, as if my answer wasn't enough. I sighed, "Carl when your dad tells you to do something, do you listen?"

"Yeah-" He started but I reached over and flicked his cheek.

"Liar." I scolded, "You start arguing why he's wrong and you're right. But," I took in the surprised look gleefully, "you cave-in at the end of the day because you were told to."

He looked confused, not grasping what I was saying. "Okay, remember how you said your mom said that you had to grab him by the horns and steer him where you want him to go?"

"Yeah?" He nodded, understanding that concept.

"You're the same way. Your dad has to steer you in the right direction. You don't always do it right away but you realize why later and do it." I crossed my feet underneath me, butt going numb from sitting on the metal bench. "So even if he doesn't listen now, you're giving him a direction to steer to, even if he doesn't want to do it right away."

He blinked at me in realization. "Oh..."

"Yeah," I nodded, lifting my hands on each side of me. "Apple," I gestured to him and the other towards the door, "tree."

"I'll be damned," Merle whistled. "Yer a manipulative little thing, ain't ya"

I blinked up at Merle’s grinning face. "No, I'm not."

"Wait," Glenn narrowed his eyes at me. "When I was asking you if you wanted anything on the run, you went and said that thing on purpose to get me to leave you alone, didn't you?"

I went to open my mouth but saw Carl’s hand coming towards my face and ducked. "Don't lie." 

"Hey!" I pushed his hand away, glaring at the rouge grin he shot at me. I reached up to his face with my other hand and started to pinch his cheek. "You're supposed to back me up!" 

He managed to evade my hand to slap his away and pinched onto a cheek of my own. "You don’t back me up!"

"What thing did she say?" Beth asked Glenn, curious about what could make the man runoff. Glenn stuttered and I shared a mischievous look with Carl, both of us letting go, turning to Glenn.

"Well," I started but Carl took over. 

"Cielo asked when Glenn-"

"Hold on," Glenn pleaded, eyes darting between the two of us. "You can't do that."

I blinked owlishly at Glenn and turned my head to Carl. "Do you know what he means?"

Carl didn't bother to look innocent, his grin morphed into a devilish smirk. "Tag team?"

"Oh," I glanced back at Glenn with wide eyes, "Is that what we're doing? I thought we were talking about when Glenn freaked out-" 

"I'll look for candy and soda at every run if you two stop," Glenn begged. I slapped my hand over Carl’s mouth, knowing he would agree immediately. 

"Add in comics." I threw in, running out of those to read myself. 

"And comics." He agreed without hesitation. I pulled my hand away from Carl’s mouth, seeing if he had any additional requests. He narrowed his eyes at Glenn, trying to think.

"Deal." Carl finally nodded, pleased with the easy negotiation. 

"What the hell do they have over you?" Daryl asked the nervous man. The poor man just deflated into his seat, not answering the question. 

"And you think I don't back you up." I poked Carl’s cheek, wrapping an arm around his shoulders with a grin. He snorted, rolling his eyes without another word, pulling away from my finger on his cheek.

"I don't know whether to be happy they finally get along or terrified that they do." Carol laughed, some of the earlier tension leaving her.

"Partners in crime, didn't you know?" I teased, giggling.

"And you're the ringleader." Carol teased back. 

"Lies." I stuck my tongue out. 

"That's how she gets y'all," Daryl warned. "Reels you in with them big eyes and playful attitude. You'll forget about what she does in about a week."

"So not my favorite right now," I told him. Daryl snorted getting up from his seat.

"As cute as this is," he motioned in our direction, "I'm gonna go and think about what we're gonna do." 

Just like that, the light mood that had been built was torn down. Everyone going back to their own little headspace. 


	28. A Friendly Visit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I passed my online lecture! Now I can breathe a little bit before having to do the actual exam for certification.
> 
> Here is another Friday treat. Not promising I'll be spoiling you guys with an extra chapter each week again because I do want to focus a bit on the chapters I did write and make sure the flow is perfect. I feel that the writing is getting a bit Blah as the chapters go on because I was in a huge rush to get the idea out of my head that the descriptions/emotional feel isn't there.
> 
> Enjoy this long chapter, I just got rid of any extra gaps so it's heavily unedited but I remember reading this chapter extensively when I was going over it like I want to with other chapters, so it shouldn't be many.

The next day, Rick grabbed Carl and Michonne to explain that they were going to head back to his old job for better ammo and guns tomorrow. To prepare. A plan was clearly forming in his overtaxed mind which put the others at ease. I frowned, worrying that he was overdoing it again but Carl didn't think the same. Carl was excited to finally leave the prison, glad that his dad was finally realizing he wasn't just a kid, and I left it at that. Not wanting to ruin his mood. 

Maggie and Glenn were standoffish with the group still, which is understandable considering they were attacked. I've been noticing that things were a bit strained between them too. Not just with everyone. They did interact with each other but if you looked closely you would see it wasn't the same.

I sat at a table in a side room, cleaning the gun I managed to convince Merle to let me keep, trying to remember which piece went first. Internally, I was screaming that I should have waited for someone to show me how to do it right. I figured that I have seen T-Dog and Andrea do this so often that it wouldn't be that hard. I picked up a piece with one hand trying to figure the piece it fits in. Groaning, I rubbed my head with the back of my hand, annoyed at myself for being impatient.

"Alright there, Bambi?" The familiar thick countryside accent chuckled behind me. Today he didn’t bother with the button-up shirt over the tank, likely all of them were in the wash. I looked up at the greying man, pleadingly.

"Help?" I put down the piece, taking my hands off the table completely. He sat next to me, straddling the seat instead, eyes squinting at me.

"I'll help if ya tell me what got Chinaman all wound up." 

"How about the same deal as Daryl of me not hitting you with the slingshot?" I bargained. 

Merle’s brows rose in surprise, taking in the tilted head I had looking his way, waiting for him to take the deal. No way was I going to give up the leverage I got over Glenn anytime soon.

Not without something worth my time anyway…

Glenn’s getting me soda, candy,  _ and  _ comics. Merle can’t top that no matter how much he tried. 

He chuckled pointing at two pieces. "These two go together, that would never fit in here." He moved the larger piece I thought it would fit into off to the side. I listened to Merle, observing which piece goes together, and grinned when it was fully assembled.

"Now, pull it apart and try again." He ordered. I did so, slowly this time, remembering what went where. I had a better go around the third time when putting it back together. 

"Good," Merle nodded, tapping the metal brace into the table, silently pleased. He glanced over at me, debating on something before he figured to go ahead and ask it. "Ya really seven?"

"Born on Valentine's Day in 2004. Cielo Valentina Cruz Sheppard." I glanced up at Merle. "It's still 2011 even if zombies took over the world." 

He snorted. "Ya smarter than a seven-year-old kid should be."

I shrugged. "I had my IQ tested before all this 'cause Grandpa kept telling Mami the same thing."

He was quiet before he impatiently asked, "And?"

I sighed, standing on the bench, hands on both of his shoulders, solemnly answering. "Your guess is as good as mine. World went to shit."

We both broke out into grins. I knew it was pushing it but I came to learn Merle wasn't as uptight about things. He gave me more leeway than Daryl did half the time. I felt the metal brace dig into my side before I knew it. A laugh escaped me as Merle tugged me into his lap, tickling my sides. "Ya lil shit!"

"Preferably, you can call her by her name instead of 'lil shit'." The taps of Herschel's crutches against the cemented floor were heard as my laughs died down. I wrapped my arms around Merle’s neck and pulled him down, rubbing my cheek against his, ignoring the rough stubble prickling against mine.

"It's only because I make his life difficult." I laughed as he pulled away.

"Pain in my ass is what you are." He snorted. I rolled my eyes, letting go of the man, but he still left me sitting on his knee, arm wrapped securely around my waist.

Herschel remained standing. "You clearly are a good man, I don't understand why you antagonize everyone but only show this side to Cielo." I felt Merle tense up, unsure where this was going. "You like being the black sheep, don't you Merle?"

"Just like you're the farmer, Hershel." Merle tossed back on the defensive. I wrapped my arms around the one on my waist and tapped above the brace with my hidden hand. I looked at Herschel's hand, seeing him hold a Bible, happy to see him hold the book again. He was a lot like Abuela in that sense. The Bible gave him comfort.

"How'd ya lose it?" Merle directed at Herschel's leg. This time Merle felt me tense up. I remembered the amount of blood Herschel had lost that day and Daryl’s anger that same night. It wasn't a good day overall.

"I was bit," Herschel answered calmly.

"Bit?" That surprised the temperamental man. "Ya hack it off yerself?"

"No. Rick did."

"Awful kindly of him." Merle was so nonchalant after that. As if he expected Rick to go chopping off limbs on a daily basis. I spared Merle a glance and saw that he was far too composed than normal. 

Herschel just nodded, not pushing the sentiment behind the comment. "Saved my life. Gave me more time with my girls. Can't put a price on that." He smiled softly, accepting that a lost leg was worth the price. 

"Can't put a price on anything anymore." He continued, solidifying the thought. He shuffled forward, showing Merle the Bible in his hand. "I found this in one of the cells. Lost more than the Good Book there for a while. Lost my way." Herschel’s voice was a near whisper after that.

He seemed to have picked up the energy he was on before, preaching a line. "And if your right hand offends you, cut it off, cast it from you. For it is profitable that one of your members should perish--"

" 'And not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.' Matthew 5:29 and 30." Merle finished as my head snapped to him in surprise. "Woodbury had a damn fine library. One of the only things I miss about it."

Herschel hid his surprise better than I did. I tilted my head, just staring at Merle, amazed he pretended to be uneducated. Something tells me if he wanted to he could talk properly, he just didn’t give a damn.

"So you're the reason why Daryl picked up on little ol' me." I was baffled. Merle glanced over at me, brow raised and I glared. "Hello Pot, I'm Kettle."

Both men laughed at that, Herschel's laughter was tamer than Merle’s barked laugh. I sighed, leaning against his rumbling chest. "Since you're here maybe you can help clear out the library we got?" I dangled the bait, desperate to get my hands on some real books now that I was done with the comics.

"Hell no," he didn't bite, "ain't got time to run off into some walker infested library."

"We can't do it now." I sighed sadly. "It has a whole second floor and who knows how many walkers piled up on the first floor of the library, not even to mention the hallway outside of it. We need all hands on deck for that."

It was silent for a moment. I took a look at both men, the carefree moment gone, eyes narrowed in on me. "Carl and I are already in trouble for it. We got out when they started to wake up and it looked like there was a lot."

"Girl," Merle growled out, eyes darkening with anger.

"Merle," I whined, twisting on his knee to lean into his chest, blinking up at him. He just glared, pointing a finger my way.

"Never again."

"I can't say never because accidents-" I started to weasel my way out of it but Merle wasn't having it.

"Never again," He repeated. "Don’t make me tell Daryl."

I sniffed, hiding the nerves at the idea of him knowing. "What is Daryl gonna do?"

"Didn't ya say he does what a good daddy should do?" Merle raised a brow. "Make sure yer safe and cared for?"

I pouted, seeing Herschel’s surprised look from the corner of my eye. "Yes, but he doesn’t-"

"And like I told you," Herschel jumped in, "Daryl isn't a man to just show his emotions."

"He just feels responsible because he stopped Mami from being a walker. He said it clearly." I frowned before looking up at Merle. "You know him the best. Doesn't he mean what he says?"

Merle grinned at me, "My baby brother ain't always telling the truth. He doesn't like it when he has something to lose."

"You know he told Carol back at the farm he doesn't care about anyone here?" Herschel added, trying to get me to understand.

I looked at Merle then over at Herschel, thinking it over. From what I've seen, Daryl does what he means and what he says. But Herschel is right that Daryl sometimes says and does things when he's mad that he doesn't really mean. Which proves Merle is saying the truth when Daryl doesn't always say what he means, which is confusing already. But Merle is also saying Daryl has something to lose but what can he lose?

I groaned, rubbing the sides of my head. "He means what he says but doesn't always say what he really means especially when he has something to lose but what is there to lose?"

Both men chuckled again. I sighed and hid my face into Merle's chest. "My head hurts," I mumbled loud enough for both men to hear.

"She broke." Merle cackled, his entire shaking with the motion. 

"What's wrong with Cielo?" Daryl's voice sounded behind, making Merle laugh harder. Whining, I pushed away from Merle, looking up at a concerned and confused Daryl and Rick.

"Head hurts," I told him, rubbing the side of my head.

"We just broke her mind is all." Merle gleefully told him. 

"How?" Daryl narrowed in on his older brother, displeased.

"How can someone tell the truth and be known to tell the truth but can also be known to lie?" I asked the two newcomers.

Rick snorted, "Came over to see what the good laugh is about and it's over a riddle." He took another look at me, "Hell, what kind of riddle is that?" 

"Not a riddle. Just a fact." Herschel grinned up at Rick. 

"Did ya know that the library these two pipsqueaks went to has a second floor? Had walkers coming down from the sounds of it." Merle advised both men and I groaned, hiding my face back into his chest at Daryl’s look. I didn't dare to look at Rick's. 

"Merle…" 

"Trying to get her to never go back there again till it's cleared. Said I'll tell ya if she don't and here we are." I felt Merle wave with the arm he was originally pinning me in place. I looked up at the man with a glare.

“First you make my head hurt and now you’re snitching on me?” 

“Ain’t no snitch,” Merle looked offended, “just contributing to already known knowledge of you two running off.”

He really is the reason Daryl caught on to me! Look at him throwing what I said about already being in trouble but just added  _ more _ trouble we’re in.

Groaning, I turned to look at an exasperated Daryl and Rick. “Take me away, I can’t deal with this man right now.” Herschel was the only one to find amusement in this.

“Such a drama queen,” Merle muttered, helping me jump off his knee all the same. Before anyone could say anything, Carl burst into the room, panic in his voice.

“Dad, you need to see this!”

Immediately, everyone but Herschel and I were out of the small room I was in. Herschel started to move after the others and I reached over from the table to stash the gun behind me, not wanting to be defenseless if it’s the Governor again. I walked behind Herschel, seeing that everyone was starting to gather in the common room, with others like Rick more than likely were outside dealing with what was going on. I ran up to a spot Carl had shown me on the second floor, part of the catwalk that extended outside the prison walls, fenced in from the outside. I saw from there Daryl was tossed keys from Rick to let in someone who was being surrounded by walkers.

From this distance I was still able to hear Rick clearly, spotting Michone with a rifle, ready to shoot from a distance in case it was a trap. Daryl and Merle were looking around themselves for anyone that was hiding out in the woods. 

“Are you alone?!”

“Rick!” The voice immediately registered in my mind. 

Andrea was the person outside of the gate?

Daryl opened the gate, giving Andrea a chance to squeeze in before the walkers closed in on her, closing the gate immediately. I looked over at Andrea, happy to see she looked well, noticing that her clothes were impeccably clean. I watched in dismay as Rick quickly pointed his rifle at her, shocking the blonde at the rude welcome.

“Hands up!” He ordered, “turn around. Turn around now!” 

Andrea did as he asked but Rick immediately spun Andrea around and threw her into the fence full of walkers. She screamed, the sound encouraging the walkers on the other side of the fence, all attempting to pile on top of each other to reach Andrea. Rick patted her down, searching for any weapons, pulling the ones he found off of her towards Daryl. Rick pulled her off the fence and started talking normally, the words not reaching me. 

She took another look at Rick before following him towards the rest of us still hidden away inside. I didn’t miss that Andrea looked at Merle in shock. If I remember the story right, Merle wasn’t exactly in his right mind when they handcuffed him to a pipe back in Atlanta. I never bothered to ask too many details about that trip and Merle was still sore about it, bringing it up mostly to Glenn. 

Going back inside, I stayed upstairs as Carol was the first one to walk up to Andrea with open arms. "After you saved me, we thought you were dead."

Both women took a look at each other as if looking for any scrapes, new scars. Andrea then turned to look around the room, spotting those who were scattered in the room. Her jaw dropped when she took in Herschel. 

"Herschel, my God." She slowly walked up to him, wanting to touch the missing leg before she realized what she was doing, yet stopped herself in time.

"I can't believe this." She was in disbelief. "Where's Shane? And Lori?"

Herschel took a look at Rick before answering, wondering if that would trigger a response in the grieving man. "She had a girl. Lori didn't survive."

"Neither did T-Dog," Glenn uttered sourly. She looked around, realizing the missing people from our group. Not knowing the other two we had lost just recently. There were more ghosts in this group than people.

"I'm so sorry. Carl. Rick, I--" she looked at both of the Grimes, not knowing how to finish her thoughts. 

"Where you've been?" I asked her, tilting my head to the side curiously. She grinned up at me.

"I've been at Woodbury the last week."

The relieved atmosphere of having Andrea in one piece quickly shifted. Merle crossed his arms, looking Andrea up and down, trying to place things.

"Figures ya been holed up there for as long as I was gone. How ya get out?" 

"Had some help," she answered him, "Philip wouldn't let me out."

Philip?

"Philip?" Merle bitterly laughed. "Ya on first-name basis with the Governor? Now ain't that something sweet."

"He is a good man." She argued to Merle.

I frowned but said nothing. I have to ask Merle who Jim Jones was because if he's being compared to another person, it's for a reason. Abuela always compared people I don't know to the novelas she watches. Sometimes I felt that Abuela was being too nice for some people.

She switched topics to avoid adding salt to the wound. "You all live here?"

Rick nodded, one hand near the holstered colt and the other on his hip. "Here and the cell block."

"There?" She pointed at the closed cell door. "Well, can I go in?"

Rick blocked the door from her. "I won't allow that."

She laughed, surprised at Rick's behavior. "I'm not an enemy, Rick."

He loomed over her but Andrea didn't let him scare her. "We had that field and courtyard until your boyfriend tore down the fence with a truck and shot us up." 

She crossed her arms, "He said you fired first."

"Well, he's lying." Rick spat at her. He backed away, realizing that he was invading her space, looking away from her to calm down. He looked off to Carl as if he was reminding himself of something before being able to look back at Andrea. I hid my smile behind my arm that was resting on the guardrail. 

Carl steered him back on track.

"He killed an inmate who survived in here," Rick explained to her, the anger still clear in his voice.

"We liked him." Glenn added, "He was one of us.

She shook her head, "I didn't know anything about that. As soon as I found out, I came." She told us, looking around for support that wasn’t there.

She waved her arms pleadingly. "I didn't even know you were in Woodbury until after the shoot-out."

"That was days ago," Merle told her, not caring for her antics.

"I told you, I came as soon as I could." She stared Merle down, trying to get him to argue with her. She turned to look at Michonne.

"What have you told them?"

"You know Michonne?" I asked excitedly. Andrea and Michonne knew each other this whole time?

"How come you didn't leave with Michonne? You would have found us too." I tried to understand how we had Andrea so close and yet so far from us.

"Nothing," Michonne answered as Andrea glanced up at me momentarily. She looked around, ignoring my question.

"I don't get it. I left Atlanta with you people and now I'm the odd man out?" She scoffed, irate that she wasn't getting the warm welcome she was expecting.

"He almost killed Michonne and he would have killed us." Maggie nearly shouted. I remembered the last time these two were in the same place they weren't exactly on friendly terms. Maggie pretty much kicked Andrea out when Beth wasn’t doing too well. "With his finger on the trigger." Maggie spat at Andrea. 

Andrea sighed, brushing a hand over her head, trying to absorb what she is being told

"Look, I cannot excuse or explain what Philip has done. But I am here trying to bring us together." She held her hands out placatingly, almost as if she was praying for someone to agree with her. "We have to work this out." She begged.

Rick shot her down immediately. "There's nothing to work out. We're gonna kill him." He stood tall as he told Andrea. "I don't know how or when, but we will."

She shook her head, refusing to listen to Rick's solution. "We can settle this."

She turned to Herschel, knowing that he was a level-headed man. "There is room at Woodbury for all of you." Then she glanced up at me, smiling before looking back at him. "And Cielo will have other kids her age to play with. Other little girls."

Eh, no thanks. I'll stick with Carl.

Merle chuckled, "C'mon Blondie," he shook his head, "ya know better than that."

Herschel was the next to speak. "What makes you think this man wants to negotiate?" He shifted in his seat, "Did he say that?"

Andrea deflated, "No."

Rick leaned against the wall near the cell door, ensuring Andrea wouldn't come near it. "Then why did you come here?"

She sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. "Because he's gearing up for war." The words came out as exhausted as she was likely feeling being turned down by people she knew. "The people are terrified. They see you as killers. They're training to attack."

"I'll tell you what." Rick tilted his head to the side as if he was thinking about something. "Next time you see Philip," he turned a dark gaze to Andrea, a gaze we became familiar with, "you tell him I'm gonna take his other eye."

"We've taken too much shit for too long." Glenn agreed with Rick's sentiment. "He wants a war? He's got one."

Andrea looked around the room in shock and I said something before she did. "Nothing is the same anymore."

Her confused expression turned to look at me and I kept going. "A lot happened over the winter. We learned the hard way." The irony of that sentence was that even I didn't know what fully happened over winter. I just know it was a hard reality check.

Andrea was at a loss for a moment before looking back at Rick. "Rick, if you don't sit down and try to work this out, I don't know what's gonna happen. He has a whole town." She stressed at him.

"Look at you." The distress on her face was genuine. She still cared for us. "You've lost so much already. You can't stand alone anymore."

Rick made a face that I usually take to be mocking. "You want to make this right, get us inside."

She scoffed, "No."

Rick shrugged, "Then we got nothing to talk about." Rick turned around, walking out a separate door, tired of going in circles with Andrea.

"There are innocent people!" She shouted at his back. Rick didn't listen. He pushed the door open hard enough that it slammed behind him.

"You poisoned them." Andrea turned seething eyes to Michonne. I scrunched my nose in confusion. How did she poison us? Is she going to start blaming Merle too? He lived there and knew what really went on.

Michone shrugged, not fazed. "I just told them the truth."

Andrea didn't hold back her frustration with Michonne. "I didn't choose him over you. I wanted a life. Once we entered Woodbury, you became hostile."

No one else moved, focused on the two women, trying to see what would unfold in front of them. At that point, I was halfway down the stairs and slid next to a standing Daryl, leaning my head against his waist, focused on the two women. I felt Daryl shift slightly, placing a hand on my head, silently acknowledging that I was there. 

Michonne bitterly smiled "That's 'cause I could see it."

"See what?" Andrea crossed her arms, taking a firm stance waiting to hear the excuse Michonne had for her.

"That you were under his spell from the second you laid eyes on him." Michonne nearly laughed at the defensive posture Andrea took.

"That is not true." Andrea kept shaking her head, adamant.

"And you still are." Michonne pushed.

"No," Andrea disagreed, "I am there because those people need me."

I narrowed my eyes at that answer, knowing the others weren’t pleased with what Andrea said either. Still, no one said anything. 

"And what about these people?" Michonne gestured to us, reminding Andrea that we were all still here, hearing what she was saying.

"I'm trying to save them, too." Andrea bitterly laughed, as if we couldn't understand what she was trying to do.

"I did not realize the messiah complex was contagious." Merle snorted over Michonne's laugh.

"Go to hell," Andrea growled to both Merle and Michonne. Merle merely rolled his eyes as Michonne stared at Andrea, trying to figure out what would make her understand. 

"He sent Martinez to kill me. Would have sent him to kill you, too, if you had come with me. But you didn't, did you?"

Andrea sucked her teeth, narrowing her eyes at Michonne just waiting to strike back at her. Michonne didn't stop.long enough for her to do so.

"You chose a warm bed over a friend. That's why I went back to Woodbury. Exposed him for what he is."

I saw Andrea tense up, ready to keep fighting, arguing how we were in the wrong. Knowing Andrea's record of saying something she's likely to regret I ran up, leaving the safety of Daryl's hand, and grasped Andrea's.

"Does Woodbury have chocolate?" I blinked up at her with a smile. " 'Cause I miss chocolate."

Andrea smiled down at me. "No, I haven't seen chocolate, yet." I pouted as she looked me over. "My God, you shot up like a weed since I last saw you." I giggled and she cupped my face. "And you lost a tooth!"

I pulled my face away and held up three fingers. "This is the third one." I glanced over at Carol, knowing that she was currently the friendliest with Andrea. "Carol tried the door and string trick with one of them. I rather pull it out myself."

It was a lie but Andrea didn't know. Carol laughed, eyes crinkling at the fake memory. "She complained the whole day about how it hurt."

Carol stepped in, wrapping an arm around Andrea's. "Tell me what happened after the farm." Andrea let the delicate woman drag her to the side room I was in earlier. Likely just as tired as going in circles defending herself. No one said anything as the voices of the two women faded into near silence.

"What are you talking about?" Carl finally asked. I glanced over at a baffled Carl and rolled my eyes as he kept going. "Carol never pulled out your teeth. You just yanked them out when they were loose."

"I know." I simply replied. "Titi did it to Gabriel." It'll click. Carl wasn’t dumb either, just a bit dense.

Merle whistled. "Damn Bambi, ain't ya a sneaky lil thing."

"I have no clue what you're talking about," I answered innocently, scratching off a piece of dried oatmeal I just noticed on the bottom of my shirt.

"Wait," Carl finally put the pieces together. 

I sighed. "Carl, we were going in circles." I gave him the same look Mami gave me when she was tired of the nonsense. "You know I don't care about talking in circles. Last time we were going in circles was when we got in trouble and I went off to bed, remember?"

"Is she really seven?" Glenn asked Maggie, terrified. Merle cackled, as he was the one who normally asked that question. Once he stopped he shook his head in amusement.

"Did ya mama really do an IQ test or were ya messing with me," Merle asked, squinting at me.

"You had an IQ test?" Beth asked me, large eyes assessing me. I glared over at Merle for even mentioning it.

"No," I looked at Merle, "I always said I was little, not dumb." 

"That you did," Herschel agreed.

"So yer just a trickster?" Merle went on. 

I sighed, "Yeah, sure, let's go with that."

"Now hold on," Glenn pointed at me, "I want to get to the bottom of this," Merle grunted in agreement, not wanting to verbally say he agreed with him.

"We're going in circles!" I whined. "I'm just smart. Just 'cause I skipped kindergarten doesn't make me some genius. I just understand better than most kids." I looked over at Daryl, "Make it stop."

The man just grinned at me, waving me over. I ran over and wrapped my arms around one of his. "It's torture going in circles," I told him, chin leaning against his arm.

"That's right," Merle taunted. "Run to Daddy. He'll save ya."

I felt Daryl tense up and I glared over at the older Dixon. "Seriously?"

Merle scratched his chin, grinning. "Well, ya said he took good care of ya. Ya feel he keeps ya safe. And even when ya mad at him ya went to sleep in his bed 'cause ya were scared he wasn't coming back, right?" 

He set down the rifle that he took out when Andrea came to the gate, leaning further into the table. "Bet ya even called him 'Daddy'."

My eyes darted over to Herschel, wondering if he told Merle my slip up. Herschel was frowning over at the greying man, far from pleased at what was going on. Merle must have seen my glance because he whooped.

"Oh, shit," he hollered, "ya did, didn't ya?"

I glanced up nervously at Daryl, knowing how he feels about it. He was glaring over at Merle, jaw clenching, silently seething. I unwrapped my arms and lightly held onto Daryl’s hand, staying quiet. I bit my bottom lip nervously looking down, tears at the bottom of my eyes. He's gonna ignore me again.

"Merle," Michonne intervened, "enough."

Merle glared over at her. "What? She don't wanna go in circles," he cocked his head towards me, twirling a finger in the air, "yet she's been going in circles about this."

"I'm sorry," I looked up at Daryl who spared me a glance after being so focused on Merle. "I know you’re just being nice." I looked down again, nose feeling stuffy. I let go of Daryl’s hand and ran. I had a little trouble squeezing through the cell doors bars but still a whole lot faster than opening them.

"Dammit Merle!" Daryl growled out at his older brother.

"Take it outside!" Herschel’s voice boomed throughout the area. I was already halfway up the stairs but sound travels with walls as bare and open as a prison. "She's a smart girl but she's still a little girl," Herschel growled out.

"Gonna take watch," Daryl announced seethingly, silently telling Merle to go up with him. 

I pulled on the sheet to cover my cell and hugged myself, the tears starting to fall down. I glanced at my bed, staring at both Terry and Toothless, leaning against the wall. I kicked off my shoes as I laid down, staring at the difference of the two toys through blurry eyes.

Poor Terry went through the wringer the whole year with me. The once powder blue triceratops was grey at best. Bloodstained. Stuffing uneven and lumpy. One-legged and blind. He was missing one of his horns and a few of his green fingertips. He doesn't make me feel safe anymore. Not after that bad memory. And sitting next to the beaten dinosaur was a brand new Toothless. The pitch-black dragon's only color was its green cat-like eyes and red fin. 

I reached out, running a finger over the red fin with a sniffle, hearing the sheet being moved. "Got room for an old man?" Herschel’s tone was light.

I shuffled over, grabbing Toothless, and turned around to face the old farmer. He smiled at me sadly, reaching over to wipe a new tear that just fell. "Merle was wrong to do that."

I nodded, not trusting myself to talk just yet, running the finger over the red fin. Herschel didn't press, knowing that I would talk about it when I was ready. Instead, he looked at the black dragon. "Who's this?"

"Toothless," I sniffled. "Daryl found him when we got stuff."

Herschel smiled. "Why Toothless?"

"That's what Hiccup named him in the movie." I wrinkled my nose, not happy with the name either. "He looked like a toothless dragon but he just has his teeth hidden away. They only come out when he's scared, angry, or to fight."

Herschel hummed. "Kinda like you, huh?"

Confused, I looked up at him, seeing his smile didn't waver. "Well here we are," Herschel motioned around him, "looking at this cute little girl eating cookies thinking she's utterly defenseless," I smiled, "when she really has her teeth hidden away." He poked my belly and I couldn't help but giggle, he hit a ticklish spot.

Herschel's smile grew at the sound and I let out a sigh. "Merle is so weird," I complained. "He's nice and not nice all at the same time. He listens to what I say, never making fun of me," I shot up angrily, "and then he goes and tells Daryl about how I feel without knowing everything!"

I pulled the dragon into my lap, "He doesn't know how Daryl feels about it. Last time Daryl almost stopped talking to me and now he will because he even knows I called him 'Daddy' by accident. How is that helping?"

Herschel sighed, patting my knee. "In Merle’s head, he probably thinks he did."

"Well, Merle got hit in the head one too many times if he thinks it is," I mumbled angrily. 

Herschel laughed, "Sadly my dear," he lowered his head towards me, eyes sparkling, "I think he did get hit in the head one time too many."

"Is she still crying?" Carl asked on the other side of the curtain nervously.

"No," I answered. The large hat was what popped into the cell first before cautious eyes darted over to us sitting on the bed. Carl's body followed, closing the curtained sheet behind him.

"Merle was wrong to do that." He frowned, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Daryl is more than likely setting him straight. Don't you two worry." Herschel assured us.

"Still worrying," I whined, feeling panic fill me. "Daryl is going to ignore me. Never talk to me ever again. Everyone downstairs is going to think I'm-"

"Oh my God, you're such a girl…" Carl uttered, stupefied.

My jaw dropped as I looked over at the teenager. "What?"

"I mean," Carl squinted at me, "you are a girl but you never acted like one." I was frozen in my spot. "But now you're freaking out over nothing like a girl. Next thing you'll be freaking out about is how you're dirty after going through the woods."

"Carl Grimes!" Echoed throughout the cell block. Judith's cries rang out immediately after. Wide-eyed, he ran out of the cell with me chasing after him. He ran down the stairs two at a time while I could only manage one with my shorter legs. "Get over here!"

* * *

"You can't leave without meeting Little Ass-Kicker." Carol bounced Judith in her arms, eyes lighting with mischief. I leaned my chin on top of Toothless's head, sticking with Andrea and Carol after the earlier fiasco. I had tackled Carl to the ground just a few moments before it clicked that the baboso said that on purpose. Glenn had to pretty much send me on my way and that’s how I landed here.

Andrea gazed lovingly at Judith, as most people do with a baby. "May I hold her?"

"Of course." Carol adjusted the baby in her arms, settling her in Andrea's arms.

"Oh." Was the gasp of surprise, realizing just how tiny the baby really was.

"Got her?" Carol checked, eyeing the enamored woman who was cooing at Judith.

"I got her," Andrea replied as Judith made a small complaint. "Oh, look at you." 

The power of babies.

"Let me guess." Andrea turned her head to Carol. "Daryl named her 'Ass-Kicker'." Both women laughed as there wasn't any other person who would dare to name a baby ass-kicker.

"That's not really her name." Carol laughed, crossing a leg over the other, staring at both of them.

"It's Judith." I threw in. Very adamant about not having to call any baby ass-kicker.

"Judith." Carol agreed.

Andrea turned back to the youngest Grimes. "Hi, Judith." She cooed, "Oh, how precious are you?" She ran a finger over the baby's face before a small frown came over her face. She looked up at Carol, clutching the baby close to her.

"What happened to Lori?"

"During a C-section," Carol answered before looking away sadly. "Maggie. Carl had to--"

Andrea was devastated for the young man. "Oh, my God."

Carol kept going, "T-Dog died leading me to safety."

"And Shane?" Andrea needed to know. He was one of the few she got along with.

"Rick killed him," Carol answered and Andrea was gaping at the woman, not knowing what to say. Carol kept on, "The night we left the farm. That whole Randall thing was a lie. Shane tried to kill Rick."

"Shane loved Rick." Andrea turned her attention back to Baby Grimes, shaking her head, refusing to believe it.

"Shane loved Lori," Carol told the woman but she looked at me, eyes quickly darting to the side, where the door was. Wordlessly, I did as she asked, knowing that she had a reason.

Andrea's voice echoed behind me as I left the room. "Rick's become cold. Unsteady."

Carol's faded response of 'he has his reasons' was the last thing I heard as I headed back to the common room, seeing Rick waiting to escort Andrea out of the prison. I walked up to him slowly as his gaze landed on me.

"Heard you tackled Carl to the ground," Rick scratched his beard, trying to hide the small smile, "again?"

"Well," I dragged out, holding Toothless by my knees, "I was gonna hit him but as soon as I knocked him down, it kinda hit me that he got me mad on purpose."

I blinked up innocently as Rick couldn't keep in the chuckle. "You're sixty pounds soaking wet- if that- and half the size of my son. Yet you can bulldoze him down?" His eyes were sparkling bright, something I haven't seen in a while.

"I was angry." I shrugged, grinning. Rick shook his head, not knowing what to say but he saw something over my shoulder, grin and sparkle gone. I looked over to see Andrea, paler than before, rush out of the small room Carol and Judith were in. 

Rick patted my head as he headed towards the door, directing Andrea where to go.


	29. Consequences of Mean

Today was the day Carl, Michonne, and Rick had left back to Kings County which would take a whole morning and afternoon to come back. I waved as they drove off earlier in the morning after breakfast but now it’s barely been two hours and I am bored. The only person I could really talk to was Carl and I’ve avoided both Dixon’s for two different reasons. Merle for being the most obnoxious big-mouthed jerk that there is. Daryl from sheer embarrassment and being a ball of nerves. It was definitely not from the lack of either man trying to trap me in a spot. 

Right now, I was finishing helping Beth with washing the dishes. The young woman was trying to get me to talk with her regarding yesterday’s situation but I kept brushing it off or changing topics. I think they forgot that they tried this tactic with Carl and I figured it out. Beth really was the most unassuming person-after me-to get information. She was definitely the most persistent, I would give her that much. I put down the last plate and turned to Beth, ready to let her know I was done when I saw the lumbering man from the corner of my eye. 

“Done!” I shouted as I ducked under Merle’s grasp, running past him. I heard him shout out one of his preferred curses as I rounded the corner. Knowing that neither Dixon was on complete speaking terms after whatever ‘discussion’ they had on watch, I didn’t have to worry about Daryl hiding to catch me. Seeing Carol, Glenn, and Maggie still all sitting at the round table with Judith in Maggie’s arms, I ran towards them and hid under the table, using their legs as cover. I hushed them quickly, not wanting to be ousted.

Merle’s thundering boots were becoming clearer as he also rounded the corner. “Shit,” Merle hissed. “Where she go?” He asked the people at the table.

“She ran off.” Carol was the one to answer him. “Probably best to just leave her be.”

“She was in tears, Merle.” Maggie’s disappointed tone at the older man was loud and clear. 

“Daryl already nagged my ear off,” Merle growled out, “I don’t need ya to help him.”

“Maybe you wouldn’t have so many people nagging you if you thought things through for once,” Glenn added in Maggie’s defense.

“Fuck off,” Merle told Glenn, the usual bite to his words missing. It was the tamest I’ve heard him say that phrase. He stalked off to exit the building knowing I preferred outside over staying indoors. I peeked past Carol’s arm to see if he was really gone for now or faking it. 

“You can come out now,” Maggie stated. 

“Give him a minute, in case he comes back,” I replied from under the table, eyeing the door. “Not many places I can be outside considering.”

Sure enough, Merle yanked the door open, eyes scanning the room for me. “Fuck she go?” he muttered to himself, loud enough for everyone to still hear him. Judith started fussing, Maggie starting to bounce the newborn gently, trying to calm her down. I reached over, letting her grasp onto my pinkie, which seemed to calm her down some. Don’t need Merle coming over here.

Softer footsteps were coming from the hall Merle and I ran through earlier, likely Beth returning. Merle grunted, “Hey, Bubbles,” I rolled my eyes at the nickname, “did Bambi run off that way?”

“No, last I saw her she ran off and you were behind her,” came the soft reply. Merle muttered a few choice words under his breath and opened the cell block door. Beth seemed to ignore the greying hunter and turned her attention to Maggie. 

“Is Daddy on watch?”

“No, Daryl is,” Maggie replied to her. There is the solution to the other Dixon. I only have to worry about one for the next few hours before the other has to take over. I carefully pulled my pinkie from Judith’s grip and crawled out from under the table. Beth was surprised to see me appear but I gave Maggie and Glenn a quick peck on the cheek and blew one to Carol.

“Love you,” I sang as I ran to go out, carefully opening the door to sneak out. The last thing I needed was for the metal-creaking, rusting, heavy door to give me away. Blinking at the sudden bright light, I squeezed through the small space to avoid any extra noise, and slowly closed the door behind me. 

“Hmph,” was the pleased sound that escaped me as I walked down the stairs, heading to one of the deemed safe spaces outside. My eyes scanned the courtyard that was retaken by walkers with the Governor's help. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary from there, I kept walking towards the metal cabinets the others shaped into a square, the idea was to have a secured area to shoot and duck behind. I walked through the space they left open and sat down, pulling one of them open to get a comic. Carl would kill me if he knew I put them in here.

I pulled out the Civil War Marvel comic, enjoying this one the most out of the others Carl has. Like every comic he owns, they are all incomplete, leaving you clueless how it ends or trying to piece puzzles together. I reread the comic, looking at the drawings of each character, the expressions they were given. I looked at Captain Marvel, wondering how they managed to get the inspiration to write her. Carl called her a Superman ripoff but that led to a whole different argument in itself that Rick threatened to get rid of the comics. 

A small sigh left me and I closed the comic, putting it back inside the cabinet for now, knowing I would have to take them out later before Carl got back. “Done already?”

I jumped and turned to see Daryl studying me. I pulled my knees up to my chest, nodding, looking at a piece of grass next to me. So much for being on watch for the next few hours. I tried to sneak a look by where we found it safe to take watch but it seemed I wasn’t subtle enough. “Old man said he’ll cover me for a bit.”

Herschel! 

I wrinkled my nose in displeasure, pulling at the blade of grass I was just staring at earlier. “Heard ya gave Merle a good run.” He went on. I shrugged, not wanting to look at the man just yet. It was silent for a moment before Daryl walked into the enclosed cabinet shelter, kneeling in front of me.

“Listen, what Merle did was wrong, ain’t no mistaking that.” He started before thinking a bit more about what he said. “I ain’t mad at ya. Hell, I’m glad you feel safe with me.”

He stopped again, likely chewing on his bottom lip in agitation. “I just ain’t dad mater-”

“I know you don’t think you are, which is dumb,” I glared up at him. “I’m not saying that you have to be my dad, you just feel like a dad, a really good one. I’m not dumb. I know you don’t want to be.” We both stared at each other, well, more like glaring on my part. Daryl was just giving me a pitiful look I didn’t want to keep seeing on other people’s faces when they found out my dad walked away.

“Everyone here takes care of me but you…” I didn’t know how to finish that, looking away. He always made sure I was kept warm over winter. Let me use him as a pillow when we had to sleep on hard floors like the small storage units. Took the extra time to teach me how to shoot my bow and use a knife. How to track. Kept track if my feet hurt because of long walks and was the first to carry me. Made sure I had a full belly even after sneaking my little bit to an unsuspecting Lori.

Daryl didn’t say anything but I felt his eyes burrowing into the top of my head. Daryl rubbed his chin, just as unsure as what to say. I stood up quickly and went running off inside, not wanting to be reminded how he doesn’t want me. The people who did want me are dead or gone. The walkers were a constant reminder of that.

I’m alone while surrounded by so many people...

Pulling the door open, I bolted inside, ready to turn towards the stairs to see Merle sitting on them. Spotting me, the burly man stood up, not wanting to lose sight of me as his eyes seemed to lock on. My shoes squealed with how fast I turned direction. This time, I didn’t have the luxury of corners to dodge behind. I was in Merle’s grasp before I took another five steps. He wrapped his entire arm underneath mine, holding me against his body.

“We are both gonna have a talk.” 

“No,” I protested, “I don’t want to have a talk with you. I don’t want to finish my talk with Daryl. I want to be alone!”

“Well too bad,” Merle grunted as he tried to adjust me in his grip. The door opened once more as I was kicking the air in protest. Frustrated with getting nowhere, I did the only thing I could do.

“Carol! Maggie!”

“Oh, no,” Merle was clearly getting irritated. “We’re gonna have our talk and they can’t help you out of it.”

“Merle, let her go.” Daryl was annoyed with his older brother. Merle scoffed at Daryl, swinging his other arm around to pull me fully into his chest. Maggie and Glenn were the first to appear, Glenn more than likely following Maggie, both weren’t completely shocked with what they saw but weary at the seemingly never-ending issue with Merle.

“Just leave me alone!” I shouted as Carol was coming into the room, drying her arms. 

“What’s going on?” 

I twisted in Merle’s grasp, narrowing in on the bicep in front of me and bit down. “Sonova bitch!” Merle shouted, unintentionally dropping me, grasping onto the bicep I bit. Falling onto the concrete floor hurt, shocking the others around me, everyone letting out a gasp of surprise or shouting at Merle, but I didn’t want to waste time. Still winded and slightly disoriented, I got up and readied to run before a hand wrapped around my arm, pulling me towards a seething Merle.

“Don’t ya  _ ever _ dare to bite me again. Are we clear?”

I clenched my teeth, grinding them together as I glared back at Merle but nodded. His eyes narrowed further, storming eyes focusing on me. "Say it."

"I won't bite you," I swore, "now let go."

"When I say we're having a talk, I mean that we're having a talk." Merle pulled me to one of the tables, me pulling back and digging my heels in, not making much leeway as I was dragged closer to the table.

He pulled me in front of him. "Sit, now."

I looked over at Maggie and Carol, seeing both weren't exactly stepping in but eyeing Merle carefully. "Quit lookin' at them. We are gonna talk and they ain't gonna stop it."

Huffing, I slid onto the seat behind me, glaring back up at the irate man. I crossed my arms, watching Merle, waiting for the best moment to run off when he wasn’t looking. Seemed like he knew what I thought because he didn't spare a glance at the bleeding arm. "Now, I know I went about things the wrong way but ya going in circles just as much as ya say ya hate other people doin'."

Daryl leaned against the wall, close by, stoic as usual. He carefully observed from his spot just as much as the others did from theirs. Merle pointed in Daryl's direction without taking his eyes off me. "He ain't any better because he tells himself ya better off without him."

My glare morphed into confusion as I looked over at Daryl. "Darlina over there thinks that ya gonna hate him n’ say how bad he screwed ya head."

"That's not true," I muttered quietly, looking back at Merle, "none of it is. Just 'cause he'll make me mad doesn't mean I'll hate him."

"Then there's ya hiding whatcha feeling. Darlina-"

"Can you stop calling him that," I sighed, "it's just mean."

"Darlina," Merle continued ignoring me, "clearly can't read yer mind or know whatcha feeling if ya don’t tell him."

"That's 'cause I know it makes him uncomfortable!" I defended myself. "Last time I told him how I felt he didn't talk or look at me the whole day," I felt the telltale signs of tears wanting to appear, "and the first thing he says is that he wasn't my dad like I don't know that, so why would I?"

I pulled my legs underneath me, trying to distract the tight feeling in my chest. I was not going to cry again. No.

Daryl shifted uncomfortably against the nearest wall. "That's what I'm trying to say. I ain't good at the whole parenting crap. I went-"

"And got too caught up in your head about what a dad is supposed to be." Carol sighed. Merle nodded, taking another inspective gaze at me at the new piece of information I gave him. I saw the gears turning in his head again at the new information.

"Daryl," Carol crossed her arms, mirth showing in her eyes, "there isn't a parenting guideline on how to be a dad. You do what you think is right."

"In your case, it's been teaching her to shoot bows, how to track," Maggie threw in with a small grin, "you take good care of her without even knowing it."

"I called for you two to help me get out of the talk," I mumbled lowly, "not join in." I supported my head on my hand, hunching over as my elbow dug into my thigh.

Merle snorted, clearly having heard me. "Don't get me started on how ya laid into me twice over Bambi here." Merle looked over at Daryl, confident that I wasn't going anywhere.

Daryl started to chew his bottom lip nervously. "Her real dad might still be alive. He might want to take her-"

Merle cackled. "Ya don’t got to worry about him. He ain't gonna take Bambi. ‘Sides, " Merle gave me a knowing smirk, "Bambi ain't gonna want to go with her old man anyway. Ain't that right Bambi?"

I scrunch my nose at the idea, "No!"

Daryl looked peeved, the accent coming out. "Ya a kid, ya gotta do what yer told. So if ya old man came-"

"Who's gonna make me?" I glared at Daryl. "You?"

Daryl glared back. "Ya need to be with family. If he-"

"And my family lives in these walls!" I shouted at him. "Not some jerk who is never there and told Mami to abort me!"

Daryl blinked in shock, his entire face paled at what I had yelled at him. I cocked my head to the side in confusion, wondering why people kept getting that reaction. I looked up at Merle, tired of not knowing what it meant. "Okay, seriously, what does that even mean? Because Grandpa punched him and Grandpa isn't a mean man."

His large hand loomed over and covered my face. "Merle!" I shouted, nearly falling back from the attack he took out on me.

"Like I said," he rubbed his hand in my face no matter how far I moved away from it, "you don't gotta worry about that."

"Stop it!" My muffled shout got through, finally able to see what was around me. Daryl looked angry and Merle looked like he achieved the impossible. I shot Merle a glare before looking back at Daryl, finishing what I was trying to say before, "So I'm staying put. Got it!"

"Damn straight." Merle agreed, pinching a cheek between two beefy knuckles. Daryl and the others were frozen in their spots, not really knowing what to say or do.

"Merle!" I whined, tired of him picking on me. First, he was smothering me with that giant hand of his and now he’s pinching my cheeks? The man is pushing it!

"Ya know," he smirked down at me, "if ya think of Daryl as yer dad that makes me yer uncle."

My eyes widened in horror. "Daryl," I caved, "make him stop picking on me!" I ignored the cackling man in front of me, begging the man to do something about his brother.

Oh, God.

He's right.

"I thought ya were ignoring him?" Merle teased. I glared up at him.

"Tu eres el tío borracho, sabes eso." I growled at him. Merle went to either pinch or poke my cheek but I slapped it away. "No." I pointed a finger at him. Merle just grinned in return. The drunk uncle, indeed.

Daryl got off the wall and started walking over. I spared a quick glance over before turning a cautious eye back to Merle. "What if ya Grandpa and Grandma say ya gotta go?" Daryl asked quietly.

I glanced up at the other hunter, seeing that usual blank mask with eyes to match, making things hard to tell what he really was feeling. "Tell them I wanna stay. Grandma and Grandpa will stay if I stay. Then I'll have all of my family together."

Daryl didn’t say anything for a moment but reached over. I expected the pat on the head, feeling like there is some kind of breakthrough, which quickly morphed into Daryl pinching my cheek too. "Daryl!" I whined, pulling away but he kept my cheek trapped in between his fingers.

"Ya never," he said sternly, "hide what ya feel, got it?"

"But you don't do good with the emotional stuff," I whined, trying to peel off his fingers from my cheek.

"Don't matter."

"Fine."

He let go and I rubbed my face, pouting at the man. Glenn’s unmistakable laugh started coming to the side, reminding us of the other three in the room. Maggie and Carol were just as confused. Merle glared at him. "What's so funny?"

"I'm sorry, it's just something that clicked. In my head," Glenn shook his head, face red, avoiding to look at us. "Glad you got the whole 'dad' stuff figured out.

"Well," Daryl's ears were turning red, "what was it?"

Glenn looked around before the grin grew on his face. "You know how you two are always going out, hunting," he started glancing over at them. I tilted my head trying to see how Daryl and Merle going out hunting is anywhere funny. If they didn’t hunt, we would have starved a few times over the winter. There’s nothing funny about it. Daryl and Merle weren't finding it amusing either.

"Get to it." Merle huffed.

"Well, you got Bambi."

Maggie looked confused for a moment before her eyes darted at the two men and me. Carol seemed to have gotten it right away because she did that hide-the-smile-behind-the-hand thing. She always did that when she wanted to laugh but not offend the person on the other end of it. Maggie’s eyes lit up, whatever the joke was clicked. She was the next one to break into a laugh. Carol managed to keep her composure, smiling ear to ear, "Bambi and her two hunters."

I blinked. 

Ohhh…

Daryl glared at the three of them, ears fully red. "I'm going back on watch." He mumbled, neck starting to match his ears. Merle didn't look amused either, his whole face turning red, more likely from anger than embarrassment. 

"Y'all just picking on me today," I mumbled. 

“Think yer so funny,” Merle spat, ready to fight the smaller man. Glenn’s entire body tensed and I felt the same nervousness that he felt over Merle’s stare. The last thing we need is an actual fight between people. All I did was bite Merle in our little fight. I focused on the arm that I bit to see blood dripping down his amputated arm, wincing. I grabbed Merle’s hand, tugging him behind me. 

“Come on,” I told him, “I didn’t mean to bite your arm that hard. You’re bleeding everywhere.”

Merle took a look at his arm as if remembering he got bit in the first place. “Ain’t serious, ya just broke the skin.”

“Still can get infected,” I warned. “Mami told me that the littlest things can be the most dangerous because people don’t think it’s a big deal. And National Geographic also made a comparison of a person’s mouth with a komodo dragon, ours isn’t as bad, but it’s still bad enough.” I lectured him, tugging without success.

Finally, I glared up at the stubborn man. “Merle!”

He didn’t say anything other than having that analyzing look on his face again. “Do ya remember everything on that channel?”

“Get me into that library and I’ll surprise you with more,” I shot back. Merle wasn’t happy with me mentioning the library and I switched topics again. “Arm, let’s go.” 

I tugged and this time he moved with me towards the infirmary. Carol and Maggie had big grins on their faces as I tugged Merle away and I just rolled my eyes. If we didn’t antagonize Merle for a second that would be great. He was already prepared with pummeling poor Glenn for the joke. Luckily, no one else pushed their luck and I managed to get Merle into the infirmary.

I walked over to the cabinet that I helped Herschel organize and took out the glass jar of gauze, bottle of alcohol, and an adhesive pad that looked large enough. I kept putting each item on the table next to me as Merle looked on with a pensive look. “How ya know ya need all these?”

“I helped Carol with Herschel’s leg,” I told him, grabbing a gauze pad to wipe away the extra blood so I can see better. “I really didn’t mean to bite that hard. I just meant to scare you so you would let go.”

It took a few before the blood flow slowed down and I gave Merle a dubious look. “Herschel might have to take a look if it needs stitches.” Merle scoffed in response looking at his bicep.

“It’ll be fine.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Our resident doctor reprimanded him. I grinned bashfully as Herschel came into the infirmary. “Let’s see the bite.”

Merle gave Herschel his arm as I folded the gauze pad, pouring a little of the alcohol on it. I started to dab at the teeth marks I left, not surprised Merle didn’t react to the sting, keeping up his macho man look. Herschel took a look at my little setup. “Luckily, human bites generally don’t need stitches but they are full of bacteria, so if we aren’t careful it can get infected.”

“See,” I told Merle as I finished dabbing every small toothmark, “it can be just as bad as a komodo dragon.”

“And you don’t go around biting people.” Herschel scolded. I pouted as I opened the adhesive pad, placing it over the bite.

“Yes, Herschel…” I muttered, already feeling bad as is.

“Now hold on,” Merle frowned at us, “if some crazy sonova bitch grabs hold of ya, ya bite him and ya bite him hard, ya hear?” 

I held back the smile, not wanting Herschel to think I didn’t regret biting Merle. I really did it just to freak him out so he would drop me. I nodded instead of verbally answering, rubbing the edges of the pad to make sure it would stick. 

“Good, listen to yer Uncle Merle.” 

Herschel gave Merle such a blasé look that I wanted to laugh if it weren’t for the fact Merle automatically labeled himself my uncle. “In order for me to even call you 'Uncle Merle' I would have to be calling Daryl 'Dad', and I’m not.” 

“But ya did.”

“Only by accident.”

“Still called him ‘Daddy’."

“Still by accident.”

“Ya know,” Merle had an upturned smirk that made me nervous, “how about you call him 'Dad' and see what he does.”

“No!” I shouted, smacking him on the pad, ignoring his hiss of pain, “that would be mean.”

“Ya just hit my arm that ya bit, that was mean.”

“Consequences of mean thoughts,  _ Uncle _ Merle.” I huffed, jumping off the stool I used to reach everything in the cabinet. Once I reached the doorway and saw the clear hall, I turned around to look at him. “Don’t be mean to my Daddy.” I stuck my tongue out and ran, hearing Herschel’s laugh echo behind me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote Bambi and the hunters bit, my sleep-addled mind thought it was hilarious....
> 
> Well Rested me is wondering wth but....if someone is as exhausted as I was when I wrote that...then you probably had a good laugh for it.
> 
> And I wonder if any of you picked up on the little bit of symbolism I through in the last chapter...
> 
> But I am glad you are all enjoying it :)


	30. Plan awry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm submitting this from my phone, so there may be more errors, but I’m not going to be near a computer anytime soon.
> 
> I want to make sure you guys get your weekly Monday update.
> 
> Errors and all. 
> 
> Love the comments I have gotten and I'm glad people are enjoying this fanfiction. 
> 
> Thank you for Kudos as well!
> 
> Seeing those notifications makes me giddy.

The afternoon rolled around faster after the forced talk Merle had us do. Looking back, it really wasn’t much of a talk as much as you do this and you do that, which lead to a weird way of it being fixed. Nothing in this group made much sense anyway. It really shouldn’t be a surprise that it all ended with my cheeks being pinched and teased.

I swear I’m the resident clown…

The sound of the gates being opened reached my ears and I gasped, the comic books were still in the cabinets!

I ran out, seeing Carl grinning with two picture frames in hand and Michonne pulling out a colorful cat statue. I blinked at the cat statue, trying to figure out why she would want it when Carl stood in front of me, handing me a frame. Confused, I looked down, seeing two smiling faces I thought I wouldn’t see again. “Saw it and thought she looked like you,” Carl shrugged, “not sure if-”

I pulled him into a hug, knocking off his hat, muttering ‘thank yous’ over and over. I pulled away to look back at the picture with a smile, a small tear drop falling on the glass. I wiped it off, focusing on the two bright smiles on their faces. “That’s Mami and Abuela.” I told Carl.

“Boy, what did ya do to set her off now?” Merle sighed. 

Carl went to defend himself but I turned the frame to Merle with a grin. “He found a picture of Mami and Abuela!”

Merle reached for the picture frame but I dodged him again for the hundredth time today to show it to the others. I didn’t exactly trust Merle to give it back. “Carol, Maggie, look!” I shouted as Glenn was opening the door to the building, running past him. I stopped as both women were heading out, two baskets full of wet clothing they were going to hang up to dry in our little safe zone among the metal sheets. I backed up, letting them come out as I lifted the frame.

“Look what Carl found for me!”

“Hold on,” Carol laughed, “let us put these down and then we’ll take a look.” I nodded, holding the frame tightly to me, not wanting to drop it. Carol put down the basket and reached a hand out for the picture. I handed it over, Maggie looking over the older woman’s shoulder to look at the picture.

“Wow,” Maggie took a second look at me, “you look just like your mom.”

I grinned as Glenn took a quick look, Merle looking annoyed to the side, “Alright, let me see.” Carol handed the picture over to the temperamental Dixon with a smile. She turned to look at me as Merle perused the picture.

“You look like your Mom but you have the other lady’s smile.” Carol tapped my chin.

“That’s how Abuela looked before I was born. She painted her hair brown after I was born.” I told her, trying to reach for the picture in Merle’s grasp. “She was tired of the blonde.”

Merle kept the picture out of my grasp, surprise there. “Wish I met yer mama before it all went to shit ‘cause she is mighty fine.” Merle grinned, eyes still glued to the picture. The two women gave Merle an incredulous look as Glenn looked disgusted.

“Well, in a few years, it looks like we got our job cut out for us.” Michonne came over with the giant cat statue. Rick was eyeing the monstrosity himself, shouldering two heavy bags over his shoulders.

“What do you mean?” Carl asked her, grabbing the backpack Rick was shouldering to lighten to load.

Michonne shrugged, “Well,” she glanced at the picture, ignoring Merle, “if she looks exactly like her mom it only means that in a few years,” Michonne motioned for Carl to open the door, “Cielo will look exactly like that.”

Carl opened the door, still not fully sure what Michonne was saying. “They’re faces look the same. Of course she’ll look more like her mom in a few years.”

“I think what Michonne is trying to say,” Maggie shot a sly look over at the older Dixon, “in a few years our little Bambi will have boys knocking on our door.”

Carl and I looked at each other, wondering what is even wrong with boys coming over. It could mean more comics and card games. More people to play with if they weren’t complete jerks. Both of us completely missed the dark look Merle shot Maggie.

“Like hell,” Merle barked, handing me back the picture. Carol grinned and looked over at me.

“Maybe we can find you a pretty sundress like your mom in the picture?”

Before I said anything, Merle picked me up, nearly tossing me over his shoulder. “Ya ain’t dressing her up like some doll.” I looked over at Carol and Maggie, trying to figure out why they were antagonizing Merle to begin with. I looked down at the picture of Mami smiling in her yellow sundress and white heels, holding up a diploma I’ve seen in the house plenty of times, one arm around Abuela. She kept her make up simple with her usual eyeliner and red lipstick. Looking pretty as always when she dressed up.

* * *

After putting the picture away, Rick had shown us all the guns and ammo he had managed to scavenge from his hometown. The kind we needed to survive another attack from Woodbury. He was just about to say something when Daryl came down from his extended watch, instantly alerting us that something wasn’t right.

“Andrea’s back.” Daryl shouldered the rifle as Rick walked off to see Andrea, hand on the colt. Merle followed after the man and so did Glenn, Daryl right behind them. Carol held onto Judith, feeding her a bottle as Maggie took a look at one of the scopes to attach to a rifle. Carl and I went to follow but Herschel stopped us for doing so by lifting a crutch, blocking our way with it.

“You’ll find out soon enough,” He promised. “Take a seat.”

“Cielo, Maggie was saying Carl found a picture of your mom, can we see it?” Beth asked, directing my attention elsewhere. I nodded, knowing full well what she was trying to do, but I was too excited to show them my Mami. The last time we all saw her was as a dead walker that we buried back at the farm. Definitely nowhere near the same, even when Mami wore her scrubs after a long day she still looked pretty. I ran up to my room to grab the picture frame.

I bounded down the stairs just as fast as I went up them, walking over to Herschel and Beth, handing the picture frame to whoever wanted to reach for it. Beth let her father take a hold of the frame, looking at the picture over his shoulder, smiling. “You really do look like her!”

I nodded, “Only big difference between me and Mami is the hair.” 

“She’s so pretty,” Beth continued. “Who is the other lady?”

I grinned, “That’s Abuela.”

“Your Abuela and mom are both dressed to impress.” Herschel smiled at me.

“I think that’s when Mami got her Bachelors in nursing.” I sat next to Herschel, not tired of looking at their smiling faces, “Mami was the first one to go to college and she said I was going to be next.” It was silent in the common room. I nearly hit myself for reminding everyone that none of that would be possible. Mami was the first and last of the family to get a Bachelors. That world was gone now.

“What were you gonna go for?” Carl asked, intrigued. I shrugged, trying to be more careful about how I said something.

“I always changed my mind,” I sigh. “One day I said I wanted to be an astronaut, then it was a doctor, then I said the president.”

“Dreamed big, huh?” Herschel chuckled, handing over the picture frame. 

A smug smile was in place, “Dream big or go home is my motto.”

At Herschel’s look I couldn’t keep a straight face and the others just shook their heads at me. “Okay, not really my motto.” I looked over at Carl, “What about you? Did you want to be a sheriff like your dad?”

Carl grinned. “Yeah, he was always doing something good, protecting people. I wanted to do the same.”

“You are,” I assured him, “just without the fancy title.”

Our little pow wow was cut to a close as Rick, Daryl, Merle, and Glenn came back inside. Rick didn’t exactly look pleased, which wasn’t unusual in the last month we’ve been in here, it’s just gotten worse when it’s relating to the Governor. He was just happy about the haul they got earlier this morning. Not sure what Andrea could have said to ruin the momentary happiness Rick achieved the first time in the whole month.

“What happened?” Herschel noticed the same thing.

Merle was the one to sneer at Herschel’s question. “Andrea came over for a so-called peace meeting in two days. To talk over our options to avoid war. Load of bullshit. That man won’t agree to any kind of peace.”

“If he’s anything that Merle said, he’s looking forward to it.” Daryl chipped in. 

Glenn snorted. “Man has a torture chamber in a town full of people who are clueless to its existence.”

I gripped the frame tightly, frowning at the idea of having to even leave our new home if things go wrong. A finger bopped my nose and I pouted at the perpetrator, seeing Daryl nod to the frame. “What’s that?”

“It’s a picture of Cielo’s mom and Abuela.” Beth answered for me. I let him take the frame from me. Daryl didn’t say anything other than look at the picture. I stood up from my seat, making sure not to fall over the bench as I was eye to shoulder to Daryl.

“Isn’t Mami pretty?” I smiled, looking at her over his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Daryl muttered, handing the frame back to me. 

“Merle said she looked ‘mighty fine’.” Carol chimed in from behind us. I looked over to see her mischievous stare quickly redirect to the baby. She’s really trying to get under Merle’s skin, isn’t she?

“Give Cielo a few more years,” she continued, letting the comment hang unfinished. I sighed, frustrated.

“Okay, seriously, what are you trying to say?”

“Just that you’re gonna look like  _ exactly, _ ” Maggie stressed the word, Daryl tensing next to me as he glared at the older Greene sister, “like your Mami. All we gotta do is find you a pretty yellow sundress-”

“Ya ain’t dressing her up like some doll, I already told ya that.” Merle snapped at Maggie. Daryl didn’t say anything but kept his stare on the short haired brunette.

“Almost like a before and after?” I asked Maggie, ignoring Merle.

She smirked at me. “Exactly, except in this picture we are going to recreate the same look with you.” She leaned away from the table. “Only in a few years of course.”

I looked down at the picture and hummed an agreement. “Sounds fun,” I smiled at her, not really seeing the dark looks she was getting, hopping off the seat I stood on. Herschel let out a low chuckle, knowing full well his daughter was messing with the Dixon men.

“Well, luckily for us that seems to be a problem in ten years.” Herschel assured the men silently. 

“I dated Harold Robinson when I was fifteen,” Maggie persisted. “Cielo is going to be eight in a few months.”

“Why are we talking about me dating?” I asked Maggie, beyond confused. “I thought it was about taking the same picture. I told Lori the whole idea of boyfriends sounded disgusting so I’ll pass.”

“Ahh,” Herschel pulled me into his chest, “We’re the only men you need in your life, isn’t that right?”

I nodded. “Exactly,” I looked up at a nostalgic Herschel. Maggie snorted, “I said the same thing when I was little and I have Glenn now.”

“Why were you talking to mom about dating?” Carl was baffled. I looked over at him to see Michonne had joined the fray after doing her exercises in the cell. 

“We didn’t exactly land on the topic of dating. It kinda happened after I told her I don’t think I wanted to have a baby after seeing her look so uncomfortable when Judith was in her belly.”

Carol broke out into a laugh, Maggie not far behind her. Confused, I snapped my head over to the two hysterical women, Carol having to sit down since she was holding Judith. Both women were turning red and I looked over at Rick, who was avoiding to look over at us. At first, I thought he was upset about mentioning Lori until I saw him look up at the ceiling, biting back a smile.

Wondering if Carl understood, he looked slightly disturbed from the earlier topic but not fully understanding why either. Michonne over his shoulder had her head bent down, hand covering her mouth, avoiding to look at anyone as Carol’s and Maggie’s laughter echoed. I looked over at Daryl who was turning red then looked up at Herschel who was rubbing his forehead with his thumb. “What did I say?”

I looked at Merle, who had the largest scowl on his face. “Merle, what did I say?”

* * *

“Come on,” I begged Daryl, “I’ll pretend that I snuck into the trunk. Nothing bad will happen because Andrea will be there. He isn’t gonna want her to think he is the bad guy.”

He sighed and looked at me sternly. “No, stay put with Merle.”

“There is always someone who says too much.” I pouted. “It might help us in the long run if I can get someone to talk.”

“No, you’re a kid. Your best bet is staying here. Not risking you gettin’ hurt,” He insisted. “You’re stayin’.”

I glared up at the stubborn man who went back to ensuring the crossbow would function properly after not using it in a while. It’s not like it would stop working after leaving it alone for five days. Who am I to say anything. I never had a crossbow to begin with. I just wanted to help how I can and that was by doing exactly what I know I’m good at.

Be charming.

I left, clearly knowing what he was telling me it was time to go and walked by Merle who was standing by his shared room with Daryl. I know that he heard his younger brother clear as day by the way he was eyeing me suspiciously as I walked past him.

We’ll see.

I went downstairs, seeing Herschel strapping a gun to his amputated leg, frowning. “Why are you going again?”

Herschel was an injured man and our only doctor. I would say that is just as a big enough reason for him to stay put just as much as me. Why do I have to be the one that has to stay put for everything? 

Herschel looked up at me as he tied off the pant leg, hiding the gun. “Because I’m the one with a level head.” I sighed as he grabbed the crutches. “I also look the least intimidating.”

I pouted, “I wanna go but Daryl won’t let me. I’m not intimidating either.”

Herschel gave the same disapproving face. “Listen to Daryl, he’s only looking for your well-being.”

“Andrea is going to be there. He isn’t going to show his real face with her there.” I argued.

“That’s a possibility. However, we might get attacked on the way back.” Herschel countered, standing up on his crutches. He walked by, putting an end to our conversation and I saw Merle watching me like a hawk from the catwalk above me.

“Staying put.” Merle repeated what I was being told. Grumbling, I went back up the stairs and to my room, grabbing a fresh set of clothes. As I did so, I felt the burning stare Merle kept on me, clearly not wanting to continue disappointing Daryl. I went back out to see Merle hadn’t moved from his spot on the catwalk. “Where ya going?”

“Showers.” I shouted up at him. “Everyone is so paranoid…” I muttered to myself.

“That’s because we know you.” I jumped, looking behind me to see Michonne.

“You scared me!” The shriek left my lips, clasping to the once neatly stacked clothes that I nearly dropped.

Michonne just smiled, reaching over and pulling on a curl that escaped the braid she made for me. “Want some help later?”

I shook my head. “It’s fine, I’ll let it be free this time.” I kept walking towards the showers. “Don’t sneak up on people, it’s scary.” I called out to her as I turned the corner. I took a few more steps down the hall before opening a door leading to the hall with the infirmary. I looked at the signs above me, reading the direction I needed to go, figuring that this would happen. I put my clothes on top of a chair that was left in the hall and silently walked towards the door at the end of that hall, leading to stairs on the side of the building.

Stairs that I needed.

I opened the door, confident in it not squealing like another metal door that I’m well acquainted with. The sun was high in the sky for almost noon but it didn’t blind me as it usually does as I’m exiting the building. The sun wasn’t hitting the side of the building directly like it would with the front. I eyed my path to the little red car they planned on using. Herschel was already sitting in the back seat, sticking out of the car talking to Daryl leaning on the passenger side. I went down the stairs, feeling too out in the open, quickly crouching behind some sheet metal they tossed to the side.

I eyed them over at the car, trying to figure out how to sneak into the trunk of the car before Rick drove off. I bit the bottom of my lip anxiously as the two men talked. In the distance I saw Merle coming out, Daryl immediately took notice and patted Herschel on the shoulder, walking over. Herschel pushed himself into the car, adjusting himself before he closed the door shut. One last glance at Daryl and Merle, I made a quick run along the path I already planned in my head.

I hid in front of the car before I even knew it. Excitement built up in me but I reigned it in. If I got overly excited before I got in the trunk of the car there would be no point to it. I look on the drivers side, where Merle and Daryl were talking in the distance. Not my opening. I looked by the passenger side but knew that would be a dead end because Daryl would walk over to the passenger front seat. Blowing out a steam of air, I crouched down, thinking.

Twiddling with the ring on my thumb, I looked down to see a beetle, the large horned thing crawling by me. It disappeared under the car and I grinned. 

Thank you Mr. Beetle.

I followed its example and crawled underneath the car towards the back. It was a tight squeeze but I managed to fit just fine under the car. It gave me a better view of all sides of the car, so I could see who was coming and going. I saw Merle’s boots head back to go in as Daryl came back to the car. I focused on Daryl’s black boots, that clearly have seen better days, as he walked to the trunk, leaning on it as the back of the car moved slightly with his weight.

Dammit Dixon!

They might know me a little too well…

Well, if it’s something Daryl taught me over winter is to learn to be patient. So here we are. 

The familiar creak of the metal door opened, brown boots heading towards the car with purpose. Daryl got off the back of the car, still blocking my way to the trunk, “Good to go?”

“Yeah,” Rick answered, walking towards the front of the car to the drivers side. When Rick did that, Daryl walked around to the passenger side, finally giving me my opening. Not wasting time, I dragged myself out from underneath the car and sat up, unlatching the trunk. The small click echoed as a door opened and I lifted it enough to slide in. As I adjusted myself, I saw a familiar brown hat from the fenced in catwalk outside the solid grey walls. I lowered the trunk enough so I wouldn’t be locked in, just in case I couldn’t unlock it from the outside.

The car started up and the gate opened up. Excitement was now bubbling through my entire being. 

I made it!

Even if Carl was to say something, the car would be long gone and it would be too late for them to stop the car. I held in the squeal as we drove off, the grey building becoming smaller, nearly nonexistent. The car hit a bump and with wide eyes, everything slowed as the trunk slammed closed with a small click, shrouding me in darkness.

Well, shit…

* * *

Carl stared in both shock and anger as the car drove off, seeing the little runaway crawl from underneath the car and into the trunk of the car. He turned around and slammed the door open, looking for someone, anyone below the stairs. Shuffling down the quickly, he ran towards the kitchens that Carol and Beth had become acquainted with, figuring that is the best place to find someone. Dashing around the maze-like halls, he finally reached the kitchen and saw nobody inside. 

“Oh, come on!” He huffed, turning back around, bolting towards the cell block where everyone had their belongings. 

Running through the common area, Carl shouted, “Where is everybody?”

“Boy,” Merle’s shout echoed back, “why are ya hollering?”

Carl raced towards the voice, nearly running face first into the man who he found first. “Cielo,” Carl rasped out, trying to get air in his lungs. “Car.”

Merle’s annoyed look shifted to surprise and then aggravation. “Ya telling me the girl got in the car?”

Merle’s yell echoed throughout the halls. No matter where the others were, they had to have heard that. Merle growled, running a hand harshly over his face, “I don’t care what y’all say,” he cracked his neck, “I’m tanning that girl’s hide again.”


	31. Braggart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is your Friday treat. To think Halloween is coming around the corner...
> 
> I am thrilled that my version of Merle is what I aimed to be is coming across clear. A bit of an ass dashed with a reluctant sense of kindness.
> 
> And yes, she should just listen to what she's being told but then she wouldn't be the impish character meant to keep a Dixon on his toes.
> 
> I'm happy people are enjoying this fic.
> 
> Thank you for the comments and kudos!

The car came to a complete stop and I was still trying to figure out how to jiggle the latch open in the dark. I heard Rick’s muffled voice tell the two men that he was going to inspect the barn and to keep watch, keep the car off in the distance. Daryl’s muffled reply that he was coming with. Doors opened and closed as Herschel moved up to the driver's seat. I bit my lip, debating on just knocking on the top of the trunk so someone can open and help me out. The idea of furious blue eyes staring above me made me flinch. 

Yeah, I got time to figure this out. 

I stayed in the trunk giving up on the latch, feeling around inside the car, trying to see if there was something else that I could use to get out. The car didn’t move for some time before Herschel mumbled something and the car did. The car skidded to a stop, Daryl most likely talking to Herschel about how he was already inside. Isn’t that what Rick wanted to do? Be the first inside to check it out?

“I don't see any cars.” Herschel’s voice became clearer as I pushed on something behind me. I froze, not wanting to pop out too soon.

“It don't feel right.” Daryl agreed. “Keep it running.” 

It was silent for a few moments longer before the sound of gravel grinding and an approaching car sounded. “Heads up,” Daryl warned. I heard the car door opening, Herschel almost certainly getting out again. More car doors opened and I figured to stay put a few seconds more, waiting for Andrea’s voice. If I didn’t hear her, then it wasn’t a good idea to get out of the trunk of the car.

“What the hell? Why's your boy already in there?” Daryl clearly wasn’t happy. Wait, the ‘he’ that he was talking about before was the Governor? 

Now that makes so much sense.

“He's here?” Andrea’s voice broke out, surprise tinged in it. Well, that makes two of us. Now I’m really nervous to pop out. One unwelcome surprise was bad enough.

“Yup,” Daryl replied, straight to the point, not mincing any extra words. It was silent for a second as gravel began crunching again. Silence once more. I moved my hands in front of me, or at least what should be in front of me, and pushed slowly, feeling the fabric of the car give way. The silence outside didn’t last long as I heard someone walking. I paused once more till I realized it sounded like someone was walking in the same spot over and over. Definitely Daryl. I held in the giggle at how easy he was to distinguish even in the dark by how he moved around. I pushed some more.

“Maybe I should go inside.” Herschel suddenly dropped into the silence as I pushed the fabric all the way. Cringing as I heard the cushion fall. I eyed the small hole I had to get out, light filtering into the trunk of the car, frowning at the tight fit. 

I’m small but even that is pushing it.

“The Governor thought it best if he and Rick spoke privately.” An unfamiliar voice, almost squeaky with nerves as he responded to Herschel’s thought. I stuck my arms out first, kicking and pushing myself through with arms and legs. I felt myself get stuck as my rib cage got to the small hole. Growling, I twisted around, pushing myself through, slowly getting through. 

“Who the hell are you?” Came the most antagonistic tone out of Daryl. I sucked in a deep breath, hoping I could squeeze through, and managed to unstick my ribcage just a bit, but my stomach passed through without an issue. I pulled myself from the backseat cushion, twisting my lower half to get through the tiny space. I fell back with a quiet ‘uff’ on the car floor. Huffing, I took out the gun from the back of my pants and unhooked the new knife I was given, wondering if it would have been easier if I took these off first.

“Milton Mamet.” Came the squeaky reply.

“Great.” Daryl rolled his neck, “He brought his butler.”

“I'm his advisor.” 

“What kind of advice?” Daryl continued to question the man. Really? You’re gonna ask after just calling him a butler? Daryl, you’re wounding me.

“Planning. Biters. Uh, you know,” Milton paused, “I'm sorry. I don't feel like I need to explain myself to the henchmen.” And that is what Aunt Liza calls passive-aggressive. I rolled my eyes, reaching up for the handle.

“You better watch your mouth, sunshine.” Daryl didn’t care for the passive-aggressiveness either. I learned the best way with him is to always be direct. Like when I said I was going to be in the trunk of the car. Directly telling him what I was doing. I squeezed my eyes shut. 

Please don’t be as bad as the whole Tomas issue. 

“Look, if you and I are gonna be out here pointing guns at each other all day, do me a favor, shut your mouth.” Another voice far more assertive responded to Daryl. I opened the door, stepping out the passenger side, slowly peeking around to see Daryl was in the middle of a stare-off with a Latino, wearing the gold cross Merle mentioned before. That’s Martinez unless there is another guy who had a gold cross.

“We don't need this. If all goes south in there, we'll be at each other's throats soon enough.” Herschel was getting fed up. I felt how the braid completely came undone in my fight to escape the trunk. As I appeared, the person who I guessed to be Milton, looked over at me with confusion.

“Is that a kid?”

All heads snapped over to me. Two of them weren’t exactly pleased to see me out and about. 

I blinked over at the two men from Woodbury, the Spanish man turned to smirk at Daryl.

“Can’t control a little kid?”

Daryl barely spared him a glance, the furious gaze I was expecting telling me that I wouldn’t hear the end of it later. “Cielo, what are you doing here?” Herschel’s disapproval was loud and clear.

I tilted my head to the side. “I didn’t want to stay over there if you were coming here.” I frowned at Herschel. The man leaning against the SUV lowered his gun, smug look still there.

“Aw, ain’t that cute?” He taunted Daryl. 

“What’s your name?” I tilted my head, batting my eyes as I’m always accused of. I didn't like him picking on Daryl but the more he picked on Daryl the more Daryl was going to be mad at me. The man looked me over, probably seeing a typical dirty messy kid, which worked for me. He sighed, figuring to be nice, “Caesar but everyone calls me Martinez.”

“I’m Cielo,” I grinned up at him, ignoring Daryl and Herschel’s disapproving stares. Martinez sighed, scratching the back of his head, not looking at me, clearly getting uncomfortable. He looked over to the side of the building before shooting a question, not looking at me as he did.  


“Where is your mom?”

“Mami’s gone. She was bit I think. I don't really know, she just showed up dead.” I answered, shifting my weight to the side, not having to try too hard about looking upset. Martinez nodded, looking back at me for a minute before sniffing harshly, tapping the side of his weapon. Thinking.

Sighing, he gave the two men behind me a once over before shouldering his rifle. Milton looked a bit nervous at seeing him put it away.

“What are you doing?” 

Martinez chortled. “They ain’t gonna shoot with the kid here. Grow a pair man.”

I walked a little closer, not wanting to test Daryl’s boundaries too much, wrinkling my nose at Milton’s actions of writing in the book. “Are you writing in a journal?”

Milton took another look at me, pulling the little black book higher on the car, probably worried I would ruin it. “No, it’s not a journal.” He looked offended that I would suggest that.

I blinked up at him, “So what is it?”

Martinez laughed, turning to look at Milton before back at me. “You like stories?” I nodded my head yes, grinning. Martinez pointed at the book behind him, “That’s what is in there.”

Milton looked offended by the man ribbing him. “It’s not stories, it’s history! How Woodbury came to be, the things we’ve been through, battles fought and won.” Milton took a moment to gather his thoughts after passionately defending what he was doing. “I’m recording everything that is of import so future generations like her know what we’ve done and been through. That’s what is in this book.”

So that book has everything about Woodbury?

“Don’t we need schools to learn that stuff first?” I asked him. “It sounds like it’s gonna be a long time before anyone gets taught about it.”

Martinez grinned my way. “Smart girl.”

Daryl shook his head, muttering something under his breath, lowering the crossbow but not putting the weapon away as Martinez did. Herschel looked intrigued at what Milton was doing. Daryl finally turned around, glaring at me.

“How did ya get here?”

“I hid in the trunk.” I blinked innocently at him. It wasn’t a lie.

“Before or after we left?” He seethed, trying to figure out how. Martinez was taking in my interrogation, interested just as much on how I snuck here, somewhat amused. I pouted at how things were going. Technically, I planned on popping out when Andrea was around. Less yelling at me that way.

“After,” I rocked back and forth on my feet, “the trunk got locked after hitting a bump so I had to squeeze through the backseat.” I pushed back on a curl that was in my sight, ”I thought I was gonna be stuck in there.”

“Would’ve served you right.” Daryl paced again, trying to expel the anger in some way. I didn’t say much after that as Andrea came out, not even looking up at the men outside the door till she sat down. She blinked a bit in disbelief before realizing I really was there.

Martinez took one look at the woman before walking over to slam the barn door shut, locking both men inside. I ran up to her, more than happy to escape my interrogation, hugging her tightly to me. “Hi!” I giggled.

Maybe now things can go my way.

“What are you doing here?” Followed by, “Why are you so dirty?”

“Your guess is as good as ours,” Herschel mused, “all we know is that she somehow snuck into the trunk.” I rubbed my cheek against Andrea, trying to distract her a little from what Herschel was saying.

Semantics, all of it.

“I wanted to see you before things got crazy,” I beamed up at her.

“Well,” Andrea looked exhausted, “as happy as I am to see you, this was not the right time, sweetie.” I frowned at Andrea, holding her face in my tiny hands, making the woman smile, letting out a small laugh.

“Oh, you’re too cute to be mad at.” She hugged me closer, kissing the top of my head. I basked in the affection, figuring I’m gonna need as much of it before we head back home. 

“Yeah,” Daryl heard her, “tell that to Merle. He was supposed to watch her.”

My eyes widened at Andrea. I forgot about Merle. “Take me to Woodbury,” I quietly whispered to her, wondering how I even forgot about Merle. His temper was worse than Daryl from the sounds of it and I don’t want to find out if it’s true or not.

Andrea laughed loudly at that, not realizing how serious I was at that moment. “Sorry kiddo, can’t come to Woodbury with me.”

“I forgot there were two of them now!” I whined to Andrea. “One Dixon was bad enough,” I winced, definitely not looking forward to going back to the others. Herschel let out a snort and I saw Martinez fight a grin by the barn door. The man started to walk back to his car. He definitely had to know what I was talking about. Merle was with them at Woodbury for who knows how long.

“Me va a matar.” I whined to Andrea louder.

“Merle ain’t gonna kill you, don’t be dramatic.” Martinez laughed, unable to stop himself.

I looked over, probably looking as insane as I felt terrified. “Have you met Merle?”

“Merle lived at Woodbury for nearly a year. We know him well enough.” Milton stuck his nose up at me in response. 

Wait till I get my hands on that book. Ohh…

“Apparently not well enough,” I muttered loud enough only Andrea heard, having the woman let out a low chuckle. She turned me around, pulling the rest of my hair out of the braid, trying to help me out.

“Let’s make you look less like a crazy person, huh?”

The less tense atmosphere seemed to make Milton more confident in himself. “There's no reason not to use this time we have together to explore the issues ourselves.” He tried reaching out himself, pushing up the glasses that slid down his face a little. I watched on in amusement, seeing how far snobby-history man would get, letting Andrea find the leather strap hidden in my hair.

“Boss said to sit tight and shut up.” He told Milton, clearly annoyed with the man. Any semblance of amusement went away the second the slim man opened his mouth.

“Don't you mean the Governor?” Daryl taunted Martinez, who looked over at Daryl with a bit of a stunned look. He didn’t mean to call him ‘Boss’.

“It's a good thing they're sitting down, especially after what happened.” Milton went on, as Martinez never told him to quiet down. “They're gonna work it out. Nobody wants another battle.” Andrea pulled me into her, arms wrapping around me as she watched the four men herself. I leaned back, making myself comfy, wrapping a finger on the curls that felt a bit flattened in the braid.

“I wouldn't exactly call it a battle.” Daryl narrowed his eyes at Milton.

“I would call it a battle and I did.” Milton showed the little black book from before, not seeing the internal wince Martinez shot over at him before back to Daryl, as if apologizing for what was coming out of his mouth. “I recorded it.” 

“Don’t ya have to be there to see what happened to even say what  _ really _ happened?” I drawled, eyeing Milton from the corner of my eye. Martinez had a wheezing cough that escaped him and Daryl smirked himself at my comment. Herschel didn’t say anything but the gleam in his eye told me he agreed with what I said. Milton seemed to ignore what I said even with the small rosy cheeks telling me otherwise. Andrea just hushed me as she combed her hands through my hair as best she could.

“For what?” Daryl scoffed at Milton.

Milton looked at Daryl in disbelief. “Like I said, for future generations like her to know what happened.” He shifted uncomfortably in the road, darting his eyes between Herschel and Daryl. “Somebody's got to keep a record of what we've gone through. It'll be a part of our history.” 

“That makes sense.” Herschel agreed and Milton seemed to have been excited someone else saw the value in it. He started to flip open the little book walking over towards Herschel, who no longer had the gun pointed at anyone either. He had the strap of the rifle thrown over his shoulder.

“I've got dozens of interviews--”

Milton was interrupted by the growing sound of walkers coming nearby. Without hesitation, Daryl headed towards the sound, crossbow at the ready. Knowing him, he did it to not only get away from Milton’s yammering but to have something to do other than send me a death glare or the anxious energy building up in him. Andrea stood up, gently pushing me to the side - my hair forgotten- as she pulled a switchblade from her back pocket, going over as well. Martinez went into the car to grab something else before he was behind the other two, not taking the heavy automatic. I looked up at Milton and Herschel, who both sighed, leaning against the car.

Milton put the book down on the car, standing close to Herschel. I walked over, pretending to be near the car door if I needed to hide, leaning towards the car myself. I leaned my chin on my hands that just reached the hood of the car we brought, looking up at Milton without a word. He ignored me, turning his attention instead to Herschel, not letting walkers ruin his moment at connecting with another interested party.

“May I ask how you lost your leg?” Milton observed how he had to lean against the car for support. I rolled my eyes as he asked the question. He seemed a bit awkward. Any form of confidence gone without having Martinez there to defend him. Herschel noticed the same thing but he was being nicer about it than I was.

“I was bit,” Herschel calmly replied to his question, not seeing the harm in it.

“So you cut off your leg to keep the infection from spreading? Interesting.” Milton opened his little book, writing down the observation towards the back of the book. “How long after the initial bite?”

“Immediately.”

At this Milton looked up in awe. “You didn't bleed out?”

Do you think we wanted him to? What kind of question is that?

I scoffed, looking at Herschel and gesturing to the spectacled man in disbelief. 

“We have good people.” Herschel’s eyes connected with mine. I was far more annoyed with Milton than I thought I would be. Herschel gave me a scolding look almost immediately after the sweet one just moments before. “They took care of me.”

“Doctors?” At this point, I realized the sounds of the walkers were gone. It wouldn’t be long till the others came back now.

“No,” came the simple reply. “We learned by trial and error.” 

“Me, too.” Milton nodded, finishing up a sentence before nervously looking at Herschel. “May I see it?” I blinked incredulously at the man asking to see the part Rick cut off the older man's leg. Then realization kicked in that Herschel had a gun hidden in there. My horrified gaze shifted from the man with glasses to the grey-haired one next to him.

“Your stump. I'd like to,” Milton continued, “um... ahem, see where the amputation was. How high above the bite.” He finally managed to choke out.

“I'm not showing you my leg.” Herschel sounded offended, looking at Milton as if he was insane for even suggesting it.

“It's important data.” Milton defended, trying to have the older man see reason. Milton shifted nervously, thinking he ruined the perfect opportunity to understand something newly discovered. He was all about collecting and writing data, huh?

“I just met you. At least buy me a drink first.” Herschel jokes, not one to make a person feel uncomfortable. This time I sent Herschel a scolding look. Herschel really should stick to keeping Milton embarrassed. Milton avoided either of our eyes, closed his book before letting out a nervous laugh, realizing that Herschel wasn’t really upset.

Gravel was crushing underneath a shoe, alerting us of the arrival of either walkers or people, both men immediately turning to look at the sound. Milton grabbed his little book and put it in his back pocket. Pretending to be nervous, I hid behind Milton, ignoring the skittish look he sent my way before focusing in front of him. Glancing over, I saw the sound was Andrea storming over to us, somewhat annoyed. Martinez and Daryl were coming back at a slower pace, Daryl with a cigarette in his mouth, far more tranquil than Andrea. Both men looked like they were conversing about something normal, looking like friends, and I walked towards them with a frown.

If things didn’t turn out like this, would they be friends?

I didn’t get a chance to do or say anything as the door to the barn was pulled open, Rick being the one at the door. Taking a look at him, he was far from pleased with whatever conversation they had in the weird building. He walked out, scanning those that were there before they narrowed in on me, jaw clenching. 

Okay, two Dixon’s and a Grimes. 

Fun times ahead.

“How-Wha-In the car.” Rick sputtered, his furious stare matched that of Daryl’s when I first appeared. I saw the man who led Woodbury come out behind Rick, a lone eye focusing on me. Knowing who he was had shivers going down my spine.

He was the Governor.

The man who kept hurting my family.

I studied the man carefully, seeing that he looked like the average Joe. Nothing about him screamed evil if you ignored the eye patch. He dressed just like how Tio did. Casual and comfortable. He had a little stubble on his cheeks but so did Rick. Nothing about him screamed dangerous. He looked _normal._

After assessing him, I turned back to the displeased Grimes. “Can I say bye to Andrea first?” I pleaded, reaching a hand out to the blonde woman coming up behind me. He narrowed his eyes before letting a very small nod of agreement. I turned around and hugged the mentally exhausted woman.

“Bye, miss you.”

I saw her lip wobble a little, “Aww, I’ll miss you too.” She knelt down as I pulled away, pulling my face close to kiss my cheek. “How can I not miss our little Bambi?”

“Now, who is this little girl?” A typical southern accent filled with charm, the only person I haven’t officially met yet, the Governor.

Andrea smiled stiffly at him, clearly upset with him. “Phillip, this is Cielo,” she brushed the top of my head, trying to tame the beast I called hair. I leaned into her, a bit shyly, waving. “She’s the smart little girl I told you about.”

“She’s average for a child. You said she was smart.” Milton chimed in, the snobbish attitude coming through again.

“You really don’t have good people skills, do you?” I wrinkled my nose, ignoring the sharp pull to my hair from Andrea. Milton looked shocked, unsure of what to say. I sniffed, “Even I know better to ask an amputee to show their scars and you went droning on about the importance of history when you haven’t ever witnessed a single thing you’re writing. Books full of bu-” I noticed the look from Daryl and shifted gears, ”-loney.”

How’s that for passive-aggressive, Milton?

No...that wasn't it...

Martinez bit his lip to keep in the laugh but the one-eyed man didn't hide it. The Governor, Philip, was still chuckling as he kneeled down, “Andrea’s right, you are a smart girl. I’m sure Rick’s proud.” He grinned over his shoulder at Rick before looking back at me with that captivating smile. I didn’t miss how Rick tensed up. The Governor kept on, “No, Milton doesn’t have people skills but he is very good at what he does. Keeping track of things is important.”

He pinched my cheeks and I pushed the hand away, pouting, far from pleased as he chuckled at my expression. “Andrea didn’t exaggerate about you being adorable. Look at those cheeks.” His eye danced over my face before saying more, "And those eyes, aren't they pretty?"  


A large hand grabbed mine unexpectedly before I said anything, pulling me away from the Governor, moving me towards the car. I looked over my shoulder to see the Governor shooting Rick an entertained expression as Andrea was frowning. “Bye Andrea!” I waved again, not fighting Daryl as he was dragging me to the back seat. He opened the door and I hopped in, reaching down to grab the cushion of the back seat I pushed out, door slamming behind me. I winced as the car seemed to shake but didn’t say another word. Herschel came to the backseat with me, seeing me trying to push the small cushion back into the hole I made escaping the trunk. The other car doors opened and slammed just as quickly, the car turning on and speeding off, getting away from the four people from Woodbury.

Daryl didn’t waste any time, turning around in the passenger seat. “I thought I made myself clear when I said that you were going to stay with Merle!”

I stopped trying to fit the cushion through the hole, not wanting Daryl to think I was ignoring him, knowing that it would be worse if I did. “I said I-”

“I don’t care what you said.” Daryl stopped me from even finishing my sentence, cheeks paling with anger. “You listen to what the hell I tell you to do, not what you want to do! You don’t know what sick mind the man’s got to do the shit he does. Next time, I’ll be the one putting you over my knee if you pull shit like that again!” I bit the inside of my cheek, wondering if it was best if I stayed quiet or tried to defend myself a bit more. I didn’t get an option as he turned back in his seat, rubbing harshing at his chin, disturbing the goatee he has been growing recently. I looked up at Herschel to see he was frowning down at me, which hurt a whole lot more than when he was scolding. I sneaked a peek at Rick to see the muscles in his jaw twitching erratically, gritting his teeth, clearly wanting to say something but kept quiet.

It was silent on the way back after that.

I reached in front of me, picking up the knife and gun, putting them in their respectful place. I switched out the gun for the little book, deciding to take a look at the history of Woodbury, as there was nothing better to do. Daryl mumbled a few more things but didn’t say them out loud for anyone else to hear. I flipped through the book, seeing that Milton had put this tiny thing into organized sections. Finally, Rick was the next to scold me.

“What were you thinking?” he asked but Daryl was the one to answer for me, knowing what I was thinking prior to hiding in the trunk.

“She thought she could get one of them to squeal everything about Woodbury. How nothing would happen because Andrea would be there.” Daryl mocked me, not taking another look my way. “Meanwhile, we know next to nothing.”

“Well, Woodbury wasn’t always that little town, they lived in tents in some warehouse,” I told him, not one bit insulted. “And apparently he is doing experiments to see if walkers remember people if they are conditioned for special cues. What is that even supposed to mean?” I noticed Daryl’s head jerk over to me.

“What-” Daryl was cut off by Rick. “How do you know that?”

“Well, when you go bragging how you write everything down in a tiny black book you really don’t need to ask any questions.” I kept reading about the experiments, wondering if he even had success. “Milton was being so snobby, I don’t like him or that passive-aggressiveness stuff he was doing. He had the nerve to ask Herschel to show him his leg.” I scoffed, turning the page. “Seriously? As if having your leg cut off wasn’t bad enough he has to show you how it looks. What is he expecting it to look like? A drumstick?”

Herschel was the one to break out into a laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a few more chapters before I throw in someone else. :) :) :) :)


	32. Riddle me this...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bouncing in my seat at the next chapter!
> 
> I'm glad you guys still love this and I also learned something new about Skyrim.
> 
> Creepy vibes of Governor came across well to some, as I had hoped.
> 
> As always, any mistakes are mine as I Beta my own chapters prior to uploading.

As soon as we got to the gates, Glenn was the one to open it up, Carl and Merle being the other two sitting outside on the only metal table we brought outside. I saw Merle’s extremely intense stare from the backseat and curled closer to Herschel unknowingly. Maybe this would be worse than the Tomas situation because there is a new Dixon in town. 

The car came to a complete stop and a reluctant groan escaped me as Merle stalked towards the car. "Ya asked for it." Daryl made himself clear where he stood.

"In all honesty, I forgot about having to deal with Merle coming back," I answered with a wince. "Not even sure how I forgot."

Rick let out a snort and was the first to open a car door as the lumbering Dixon was coming over. Daryl was the next followed by Herschel. I decided to follow Herschel out the backdoor when the one next to me was pulled open by the teenage Grimes. "What were you thinking?!"

The scream escaped me at the suddenness of the door next to me opening, not expecting that to happen. "Carl, you-" the hand to my chest was trying to hold in my little heart, but he didn't care.

"Well, maybe you should be scared. Even I knew it was stupid to try and go to the meet up. What made you think it was a good idea?" He shouted at me. Burning fury was raging through his eyes as he sunk his nails into the fabric seats, grinding his teeth. His eyes were narrowed into slits.

"I figured that I could do something to help. Get better information." I blinked at Carl, still leaning against the backseat afraid to move. 

"What so you can blink those big eyes and all the answers will come to you?" He was turning red. "Do you realize it won't always work because some people just don't care? There aren't rules anymore. People do what they want because they can!"

I didn't say anything because I know he is right. There are no rules. 

That’s why people like the Governor are doing what they’re doing without any consequences.

Nothing to hold others accountable.

He glared at me a bit more before pushing off the backseat and stalking back inside, not sparing me another glance. I sat up a little bit, still in shock, wrapping my head around the fact that Carl was yelling at me. Carl Grimes. The same boy who I got along with as the winter ended. Someone who I would explore the large building we were in. One who I teased mercilessly. The same person who became my best friend in the last few months.

In a daze, I got out of the car, not realizing the five men standing around. Herschel chuckled, "She wasn't expecting that, that's for sure." Herschel barely registered in my head.

"No," I agreed numbly, "not the Grimes I was prepared to be mad." I reached behind me and dangled the little black book up in front of me. "I'm gonna…yeah."

"What's that?" Glenn asked as the little book was taken from my hands. I started to walk off inside the building but felt my shirt being tugged back, not fighting it. I sighed and backed into the hand. Definitely a Dixon who did that. No doubts about it.

"Pickpocketed some idiot called Milton," Daryl answered. The hand I backed into pulled on a strand of hair.

"Atta girl, Bambi."

I was in Merle’s grasp. Maybe I should start running….no….that's gonna make it worse.

"Still ain't getting out of trouble," Merle added. I sighed, nodding, not surprised about it.

"Well damn, the little sheriff took the wind out of her sail." Merle chuckled. “Took all the fun out of it.”

“Figures you think it’s fun messin’ with someone.” Daryl scoffed as he shifted in his spot, regarding me briefly before pulling on the strap of the crossbow. “Give her a second. Never saw anything keep her down too long.” Daryl flicked something off his leather jacket underneath the vest. 

"Not the Grimes…" I merely mumbled, crossing my arms, still wrapping my head around it. 

"You really didn't think Carl was gonna be mad at you, huh?" Glenn asked. I nonverbally answered by shaking my head before something clicked.

"Wait a sec," I jerked my head towards the building, becoming more aware of my surroundings now. "That baboso had everyone worried at the farm on a near-daily basis and he's mad at me for one thing?"

"That was fast," Rick announced, flipping through the pages. A small semblance of a spark in his eyes as he said it. Daryl and Merle glared down at my ‘one thing’ comment.

I ignored Rick and looked up at Merle. "Isn't that being a hypocrite?"

Merle gave me a look and I decided to elaborate. "The day we had to leave behind the farm there was a whole herd coming our way and that was the day Carl decided to sneak out from the house for the billionth time. No one knew where he was at all." 

Daryl rubbed the back of his head and Merle squinted his eyes at me. "If I wasn’t already going grey, ya would definitely do it. Get inside, I got something lined up for ya."

I sighed and marched over to the punishment Merle had lined up for me. The man was right behind me, not letting me out of his sights again. Upon entering the common area, I immediately focused on the small pile of squirrels, freezing.

Wide-eyed, I looked up at Merle, seeing Daryl and Rick right behind us. "Not the squirrels."

A sadistic smirk came onto Merle’s face. "That's right. Ya gonna gut and skin 'em. Then ya gonna help salt and smoke 'em."

"It doesn't feel right." My stomach churned at the memory of gliding skin. I pretended to retch, hoping that would deter the oldest Dixon. 

"Nice try," he pushed me forward, "if ya didn’t heave before, ya ain't gonna start now."

"No," I whined, knowing the men were enjoying my reaction. 

* * *

After taking a look at the small book and asking Merle for details that weren't as nice and simple as Milton depicted, Rick was getting an idea of how the Governor thought. Both men ignored me as I was on the fifth squirrel, Merle making sure that I took my time to properly do things right, hearing the tearing of muscle and ligaments from the skin as I did so. 

"Just not right," I shivered. 

"Don't forget to hack off the head," Merle instructed. I glared over at the cruel and sadistic human being next to me.

"Yes, Uncle Merle," I sweetly replied before getting a quick flick to the cheek.

"Don't sass yer Uncle." 

"Uncle Merle?" Rick asked slightly horrified, completely out of the loop, eyes off the book. 

"That's right, you and them other two weren’t here when we cleared up the whole 'daddy' bit." Merle grinned, leaning back into the table behind him.

"We figured it out in some weird way," I told Rick. "Don't ask how, I still don't get it. Merle thought it would be funny if I called him Uncle Merle since I think of Daryl as a dad."

"Girl had the cheek to say not to mess with her daddy."

"Lies," I rolled my eyes. "Let's not get Daryl’s nerves worked up." I scanned the place wondering exactly where he went off to once we got back. I didn’t need him to hear that and go into some weird panic mode.

"Herschel as my witness." Merle grinned at Rick.

I stopped what I was doing and looked at Merle. "You really like messing around with Daryl, don't you?" I narrowed my eyes on the man. 

"My right as big brother."

"Then as your  _ niece _ I think it's only fair I torment you for the rest of your life." I batted my eyes at him purposely. "See how fast those greys turn white."

Merle narrowed his eyes at me and Rick let out a low chuckle. I raised a brow in return. "Don't mess with him."

"Don’t mess with who?" Came the familiar tapping of plastic on concrete floors. 

"Her daddy," Merle replied, narrowed eyes not leaving me. I glared back as he clearly wanted to push Daryl’s buttons with that word. 

"She did warn you." Herschel backed me up. "Can't say you won't see it coming if you do."

"Herschel," I frowned at him, "you make it sound like I'm some evil mastermind."

He looked at me, barking out a short laugh. "Probably best not to say that when you have a headless squirrel in those bloody hands of yours."

I blinked looking down. My hands and the arms where the flayed rodent touched were covered in blood. Yeah, probably not. Herschel sat next to me all the same. "Not an evil mastermind yet but you are definitely far too smart for your own good. How did you do it?"

"You know the sad part, Herschel?" I looked over at the other two men. Both Rick and Merle frowned as I gave them a side-eye. "These two didn't even think to ask the how the entire time. They were too focused on the book." I glanced back at the sweet old farmer. "They'll fall apart without you."

He wanted to laugh, I know he did, but he kept a stern look all the same. I sighed, finishing up the squirrel before grabbing another, knowing exactly what he was wordlessly saying to me. "On the way to the showers, there is a door leading to the infirmary. At the end of that hall is an exit to the building, you guys set up some stuff around there. Hid behind there till I could run to the car and crawled under it. Got in when Daryl went to go upfront."

It was silent except for the sounds of the furry forest creature being prepared for some jerky or tonight's meal. At least the bright side is that I’m doing this faster at Merle’s expectations and can move on to salting. Realizing it was far too quiet than what should have been normal with these three men, I looked up. Rick had the book open, face down on his lap, finger acting as the bookmark looking at me with an analytic stare.

“You thought up that on the spot?”

“Not completely,” I hesitated, unsure of where this is going. “Carl and I explored the areas you guys cleared already to know the layout better, worst-case scenario. The part about getting into the trunk was what I had to think up.”

Rick laid the book flat on the table behind him and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “I’m going to ask a few riddles and you answer them, alright?”

I stopped gutting the squirrel, more than happy to agree than continue. “Okay, go.”

“A man is looking to hide but he has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in three years. Which room is safest for him?”

I didn’t even have to think. “Lions, that’s easy.”

Rick nodded, “Okay, how about this one. Lots of them make up a word and lots of words are in them. It's easy when you think about it. A while ago we stamped and mailed them.”

I bit my lip, muttering what he just said out loud to myself. “Wait,” I scrunch my nose, “if you stamped and mailed them aren’t they letters?"

“That’s right.” Rick scratched his cheek. “Two more and I’ll call it. Let me try to think of this one though a bit. Want to make sure I got the wording right.” 

I nodded, figuring I was two for two. I’m doing good so far. I felt proud of myself for not getting stumped over the so-called riddles he was giving me. I waited a bit more, feet dangling underneath me before I realized he still needed time to get it right. I grabbed the squirrel, noticing it was the last one, and quickly went to work as Rick thought up his riddle. Faster I do this, the closer I am to salting, which I will take over gutting and skinning any time of the day.

“Okay, I think I got it, might paraphrase it a bit,” Rick warned me. I nodded, not wanting to stop as I was almost done. “I run through hills. I go around mountains. I leap over rivers. And crawl through the forests. Step out your door to find me.” He crossed his arms, staring at me. Merle was quiet the entire time, listening to the riddles being thrown my way, gauging my reactions to each one so far.

Ever the observant man...

I thought about it for a moment before the answer in my head made sense. “A road. That’s the only thing that makes sense.” I threw the squirrel into the pile and threw my hands in the air in relief. “Done!” 

Rick nodded and then crossed his arms. ”Last one. You are a bus driver, eight people get on, two people get off, two more people get on and another one gets off. Finally, three more people get on and two get off again. How old is the bus driver?”

“How does the bus driver's age have anything to do with the amount of people getting on and off? This sounds like one of those math questions Maggie gives.” I was so confused. Herschel and Rick grinned at that comparison. I shook my head and went to touch my face before stopping myself, trying to relieve some of the pressure of the confusion. “Where did you even get these riddles?”

“Shane and I had time on our hands. Got a book on logical riddles and tossed them back at each other. Now, think the one with the bus through.”

“But the age of the bus driver has nothing to do with people coming on and off the bus.” I threw back, getting frustrated with the riddle. “I give, what’s the answer.” I really wanted to rub my head, lean my whole head on my hand, just be able to touch my face. Having blood on them definitely made me go a little stir crazy trying to relieve the confusion and keep my face clean.

“We had a bit of trouble with that one too. You’re the bus driver, you tell me how old you are.” I thought back to what the riddle was asking and the answer Rick gave and groaned in disbelief.

“The numbers were decoys.” I groaned, the heels of my hands going to rub my eyes but I stopped last second. I glared at my hands. “Merle, I am taking a shower before salting and smoking these squirrels!” I growled, the frustration of that last riddle and being unable to even touch my own face without the blood going everywhere was driving me insane.

Merle snorted at me before looking over at Rick. “What’s with the riddles?”

Rick leaned back, crossing his arms, looking at Merle. “When Shane and I had that book of riddles, Carl was about her age, maybe older. Since the riddles were just using your head I picked easy ones. I asked him the one about the rooms for fun and he didn’t get it. She didn’t even hesitate to say the lions.”

“‘Cause they weren’t fed for three years.” I defended myself, not sure how Carl didn’t get it. Rick looked back at me.

“The letters and roads were considered to be a medium difficulty. Easy but something you had to think about. The last one was hard but she realized quickly after getting the answer the numbers were there to confuse you.” 

“She can reason logically better than the average kid.” Herschel seemed to catch onto where Rick was going. 

“Which is how she was able to get into the trunk of the car. She used logic,” Rick tapped his head, looking at Merle seeing if he was understanding, “to get from point a to b. That a normal kid wouldn’t be able to think of.”

Merle looked over at me, before lifting a finger. “Like when I was chasing ya in the woods.” I tilted my head trying to think of what moment he was talking about in the woods. “She climbed the tree and hid the bottle of water at some other tree so I couldn’t track her down. Hid the bottle so no one can see it unless they really were looking for it.”

“Well, no one ever looks up and if I left the bottle out in the open, you probably would have taken it. I didn’t know if I was going to be in the woods for another week. Daryl taught me the rule of threes and you can’t survive without water after three days.” I argued. “Plus, walkers can’t climb.” I jumped off my seat, ready to shower. "I'm taking a shower. For real this time." I muttered the last part to Merle before stopping. 

I turned around, staring up at the suspicious Dixon. "Can you do me a favor and carry my clothes for me? I don't want to get them dirty."

"Ya mama had to have had yer brain tested," Merle uttered as he got up. I rolled my eyes but thanked him all the same as we walked towards the pile I left behind. I stopped in front of the door and told him to get the clothes which he did, muttering some choice words I couldn't hear. He did the favor of carrying them to the locker room before leaving me alone.

* * *

Daryl walked into the common room seeing the small pile of squirrels without the troublemaker or Merle. He looked around a second time in case he missed them. Merle was cackling at Cielo’s reaction of field dressing the catch, even went into detail of how he wanted them to be precisely cut, enjoying the daggers the small child was throwing his way. Finally, he decided to ask the other two slightly confused. "Where they go?"

"Went to wash up." Herschel was the one to answer, flipping through the small book himself. Daryl sat on top of one of the tables, motioning to the book Herschel had in hand, curious. 

"Anything good?" 

Rick let out a dark chuckle. "Stories of the Governor's victories against walkers, foes, and all in between." Rick looked up at the younger man. "Clue where the others are?"

"Think Glenn and Maggie are still talking things out." Daryl didn't need to elaborate on the what. Everyone was angry at what the Governor did to her, Glenn most of all. Even if she states he didn’t touch her, it still rubbed everyone the wrong way. "Carol and Beth are probably getting dinner ready. Carl's with Judith. Michonne is MIA but I know she's around."

Rick nodded, pulling out his colt, checking the ammo in it. "The Governor gave me a deal."

Herschel and Daryl both straightened up, interested in the deal being offered. Rick didn't look at them. "He said he'll leave us alone, pretend we don't even exist if we hand over Michonne."

Both men didn't say anything. Taking in that the safety of all would mean to sacrifice a person who slowly was integrated by the group. Especially by the children. Neither man felt comfortable with the idea either.

"Nah," Daryl shook his head, stomach in knots. "Don't feel right. It ain't right." Daryl stressed to Rick, silently imploring the man to not even contemplate it. Michonne’s done right by them so far. She fits. She’s one of them as far as he’s concerned and Daryl knew that Herschel would feel the same.

"Michonne is part of the reason why I'm still standing here after he let in the walkers." Herschel reminded Rick, proving Daryl right without knowing it. Heavy steps echoed in the hall and Daryl knew who those footsteps belonged to. He had heard those footsteps his whole life. 

"Y'all talk about the good stuff when I'm gone?" Merle taunted. "I just dropped off Bambi at the showers." He put down the bucket he originally used to collect the squirrels by the small pile she was skinning, throwing them in there.

"Governor gave a deal. Peace for Michonne." Rick brought the other man up to speed. Merle had that wry grin as he scrutinized Rick.

"That's what he said." Merle wiped his hand on his pants, uncaring. "Ya know what he's going to do if ya do?" Merle leaned against the table, not fully sitting on it, tilting his head with a snide gleam to his eyes. "He's gonna torture her. Keep her alive till he's done." He licked his bottom lip, eyes narrowed on the sheriff, thinking. "But ya ain't gonna do it. Not if ya talking about it out here in the open. Ya too good of a man to even try."

Rick holstered the gun he was looking at. "You're right. I'm not." His eyes focused on the black book. "Based on what really happened compared to what was written says enough. The Governor isn’t someone that keeps to his word.” Rick sucked his teeth as if there was a kernel stuck between them. “Won’t start now"

"Good," Herschel felt lighter as if the weight was lifted off his shoulders, "she's one of the good ones and this world doesn't have many of those."

"If Bambi got the brains ya saying she's got, I would've slept with one eye open if I were ya, Officer Friendly. She likes our Nubian Queen." Merle grinned. Rick chuckled, nodding his head in agreement, remembering the little girl getting her hair braided just the other day in Michonne’s lap.

Daryl frowned, nervous about what that even meant. "What you going on about?"

"That yer little girl ain't as dumb as she looks," Merle told him, giving him a sly smirk.

Daryl crossed his arms as he leaned backward casually, shrugging."That ain't new. We know she's smart." 

Herschel shuffled in his seat. "She's ahead of the game when it comes to thinking rationally. Better than the average seven year old should."

"Course she is." Daryl looked at Herschel with furrowed brows. "She even said she skipped a grade because things were easy."

"I think she's downplaying it." Rick looked at Daryl with a crooked smile. "She's used Andrea's naivety to get her to do what she wants. Hell,” Rick pointed his thumb at the book in Herschel’s hand, “she used it to get that book. Probably isn't doing any different with us." Daryl frowned, not liking the idea of someone pulling the wool over his eyes.

"Did you know she came up with the idea of how to get past everyone and into the trunk on her own? Carl obviously didn't help her figure it out." Daryl shifted uncomfortably, remembering the argument they had about her little plan earlier that day. She told him how she was going to get in the trunk and he didn’t think she could.

"Tell him one of the riddles ya gave her." Merle grinned at his younger brother, waving his hand at Rick to speed it along. Rick glowered at Merle, silently telling the man it wasn’t necessary. Merle raised a brow, “Well? I had to listen to four of ‘em. All ya gotta do is say one of them riddles you and the asshole went over during playtime.”

Rick sighed, broodingly looking at Daryl, repeating one of the riddles monotonously, "I run through hills. I go around mountains. I leap over rivers. And crawl through the forests. Step out your door to find me."

Daryl furrowed his brows, "That's easy, it's a road."

"A seven year old shouldn't know the answer to that particular riddle." Herschel pointed out. "She figured it out in under a minute." He leaned forward, running a hand through his beard. “I think there was a switch after that day. She doesn’t remember much but she’s not the same bushy eyed girl from the farm.”

“She looked like hell!” Daryl shouted, one hand flying in front of him before he stopped himself from going off, clasping hands in front of him to gain some control. Digging his elbows into his legs, he continued calmer than before. “She was kicked around before we got her,” Daryl seethed at the memory, “and what she does remember about winter don’t help none either. We had assholes trying to steal our shit last couple of months.”

“She told me that little girl I knew stayed in that room,” Herschel confessed quietly, unable to look the man in the eye. “I’m thinking it’s true. She’s a bit more closed off, more analytical. Didn’t think much of it because I figured she was still trying to process what happened without the memories to fill in the gap.”

Merle frowned, not knowing what the group went through over the winter, but didn’t like the sounds of it. Daryl did tell him the girl was attacked by a different group when she got separated from Lori and Carl when they were escaping. No one but Lori and Carl knew the girl went missing and it took longer than anyone would have cared to admit to finding the girl when everyone did regroup. Having another kid and a pregnant woman running around for a missing child would have spelled disaster. After witnessing her dreaming a piece of her memory back, it wasn’t an encounter he wished for her to remember either.

"Now," Rick started, seeing Daryl’s leg bouncing anxiously. "Does she think better than the average seven year old? Yes. But she is still a seven year old who doesn't know how things work in the real world. In this world." Rick stressed. 

"She still reacts like a child. She still feels like a child does. Just because she can logically rationalize or analyze things doesn't mean she is older than what she is now."

"So we treat her like a little kid?" Merle was confused at that. He could have sworn they were saying to not treat her like a sweet innocent lamb she portrayed herself to be. She was innocent in matters to how the world behaves, as Rick said, but the girl was no sweet little thing. She nearly bit a chunk out of his arm. That doesn’t scream sweet child.

"Treat her how you would Carl. He's still a boy but he knows what's best when you talk to him one on one." Herschel expanded.

Rick gave a tentative look at Herschel. "Carl isn't any better."

Daryl sighed, "You're right, she’s worse." A few wry grins answered in reply. Daryl gestured over to the bucket, pulling on a string from the sleeve he was wearing, trying to not think how she was still in that room mentally. "How long before gutting quit working on her?"

"Something tells me you will all be matching my beautiful lock of hair sooner than you think." Herschel pulled the crutches underneath him, "See you gentlemen for dinner. Going to check in on Maggie and Glenn. They hide things when the kids are around but we know better."

Merle glared at the old man. “Ya don’t say. Cackling away when Bambi was talking about babies.” Daryl shook his head, not wanting to get into that topic again. 

“Leave it,” was the clipped response Daryl gave.

“What ya mean leave it?” Merle snapped. “She’s gonna dress up Bambi like a doll just to get my blood pressure up, and I know it.”

Daryl scoffed. “She’s seven. We don’t gotta worry about it.”

“As I explained to Glenn,” Herschel stood, “she’s in a phase where the only man she wants in her life is her dad,” he gave Merle a once over, “and maybe uncles. Boys have cooties. Cherish it while you can.” He turned and started to shuffle away on his crutches.

“Aww,” Merle looked over at Daryl, “hear that baby brother? All Bambi wants is her daddy.”

Daryl felt the back of his neck and ears burn. “Man quit it! She ain’t calling me her daddy, I’m just the closest thing to it.”

“Oh, she calls ya her daddy when ya ain’t around.” Merle turned his smirk over to the retreating man. “Ain’t that right Herschel?” Daryl noticed Rick glance up at him, wordlessly saying it’s true, and Daryl scowled, scratching at the back of his neck. Daryl looked just in time to see Herschel give Merle an exasperated look.

Herschel was halfway out when he stopped. "Remember the warning Merle, maybe you should be the one sleeping with one eye open." 

Merle grunted in response, grabbing the bucket and heading to the kitchen with a smirk. "Bambi got brains, that don't make her scary."

Daryl turned to Rick, slightly aggravated. "What the hell goes on when I'm not around?"

"Your little girl gives you the sweet side of her and when you're gone, she shows she got some teeth," Herschel answered before leaving completely, leaving his voice to echo among the walls. 

"She bit Merle and fights with me nearly all the time," Daryl muttered to Rick, "what other teeth she got?" 

* * *

I hummed happily at the warm food filling my belly after a long day. Carl was still mad at me and ate at the same table as his dad, so I sat with the Greene family. I didn’t take offense to it even though it did hurt a bit. I twirled the ring on my thumb as I chewed on the spaghetti with marinara that was stashed away in the kitchen cupboards. “Where did you get that ring?”

I looked up to see Glenn staring at the bluestone ring and I held my hand out, admiring the delicate ring. “Off a walker in the woods. It almost matches Mami’s necklace. Isn’t it pretty?” I took it off and handed it to Glenn. He twirled the ring between two fingers, the piece of jewelry looking so small in his hands.

“How did you know it would fit you?” he asked, calculating the size this ring had to be. I could almost see those complicated math symbols that Dexter used when he was in his secret lab coming off him. 

Not much of a secret lab if Dee-Dee found it but who am I to argue with a funny cartoon...

I shrugged, taking back the ring from him. “It was on her pinky, so I know it wouldn’t be too big, and it fits my thumb. Guess you gotta know what size to look for.”

A hand ran through my semi-wet hair, a gruff voice following it. “Not sitting with Carl?”

I looked up to see Daryl, who came back from the showers himself, shrugging. “He’s still mad at me. Give me a day or two. I’ll wear him down.” I gave a toothy grin, knowing Carl couldn’t stay too mad at me. The adults around me were amused by what I said but said nothing about it. I glanced over to see Carl quickly look away. 

Yup, about another day.

Daryl sat at the table behind me, where Carol and Michonne were sitting, joining the conversation from the table I was in on occasion. I swirled some of the squirrel meat in the marinara sauce, giving it some more flavor. Kinda wish it was chicken but can’t be picky. Chickens probably got eaten by walkers too.

Especially the ones from the farm...

Once dinner was over and I had to wash the dishes by myself as an additional part of my punishment, everyone started talking battle plans. Carl, Judith, Herschel, and I were supposed to go in some car on the side of the building, ready to escape in case things went bad. Carl nodded at that. I got several looks to make sure that I know that going in the car wasn’t an option. Daryl was very vocal about me giving him a verbal agreement. Merle made me repeat exactly what I was supposed to do and  _ not _ do. How it wasn’t an option.

Daryl was sitting down on the stairs and I leaned my back against his side, holding onto a hand, playing with the larger fingers to distract myself. I didn’t like the idea of any of them fighting against the Governor but I understood why we had to. We already lost Axel and Oscar because of him. He hurt Glenn and Maggie. Almost had Daryl and Merle fight each other to the death. I frowned as I started to inspect the longest line going across Daryl’s hand. The larger hand enclosed mine, voice rumbling in my ear, “Alright?”

I looked up to see Daryl looking at me worried. I nodded, turning my body towards him, snuggling his side with my face. “I don’t want any of you to get hurt,” I mumbled to him. Daryl pulled his hand out of mine and brushed some hair behind my ears, wrapping me closer to him.

“We’ll be alright, you’ll see.” He promised, eyes softer than I had seen them in a while.

It seemed Daryl’s answer caught the attention of the others. Merle always had a brash way of handling things. “Scared ya daddy won’t come back?”

Daryl didn’t tense up as usual but the soft look he gave me hardened as they moved to Merle. I huffed, “Merle, it isn’t funny. What if all of you get hurt? Or end up like Axel and Oscar?”

“What was it that you told me when Glenn and Maggie were in Woodbury?” Herschel tried to soothe my worries. “Energy you put out is what you get?”

“I know,” I whined, “but that still doesn’t mean I can’t worry. You didn’t stop worrying, did you?” I reached for Daryl’s hand again, pulling his hand into my lap as I inspected it some more.

Merle rolled his eyes, “Ya daddy will be fine.”

“Merle quit calling me that. She doesn’t call me that.” Daryl’s chest rumbled, likely matching the glare he was sending his brother's way.

“Not to yer face she don’t,” Merle confessed, my head turning quick in his direction with a glare of my own. “She had no problem telling me to quit pickin’ on her daddy.”

“I heard her call you Daddy Dixon over the winter to Mom,” Carl added spitefully, feeling Daryl look down at me as my gasp was easily heard.

“That was an accident!” I shouted, “I was mad at him because he wouldn’t even let me go in the yard to even play in the snow. It was fenced in. No one could have snuck up on us. Besides,” I bit the insides of my cheek mortified, “I meant to say, Daryl.” My face was burning in embarrassment. “How did you even know about that?” I mumbled, nervous to look up at the man himself.

Carl was smug, “You were shouting loud enough- how did you say it?” Carl pretended to think. “‘It’s not fair that he can keep me locked up. Why should I listen to what Daddy Dixon says about going in the yard, it’s right there.’” He mimicked in a high pitch voice as I felt my face burn hotter. I wasn’t sure if it was anger or embarrassment at this point.

“So dead, Carl Grimes,” I muttered, unknowingly squeezing Daryl's hand.

“See,” Merle pointed at Carl, “she’s been calling ya daddy for months,” then he looked at me mockingly, “even if it was by accident.”

I huffed, pouting, not knowing what else to say. Carol was the one to say something next. “Well, it’s cute she sees Daryl as a dad. She picked the best Dixon there is.” Daryl’s hand twitched in my grasp, probably embarrassed from that. Great, now he’s getting antsy. Merle, on the other hand, glowered at Carol’s underhanded comment.

“Quit picking on him,” I mumbled, loud enough for everyone to hear.

Rick looked over at Merle, taking in the small reprieve of war talk. “Does that mean you’re sleeping with one eye open?”

“I ain’t scared of no kid.” Merle spluttered, shocked that it was even a thing.

“You sure?” Herschel joined in. “She made a pretty elaborate plan to get into the trunk of a car.”

“Weren’t you supposed to be watching her?” Michonne tagged along in ribbing the obnoxious Dixon. “I mean, to be able to get in the car, she had to trick you first.”

Merle crossed his arms, puffing up defensively. “She ain’t tricking me again.”

“So I can trick you is what you’re saying?” I pulled Daryl’s hand in a way that I could hide from Merle behind his arm. Just in case I needed a shield.

He turned the glare over to me. “Ya can’t trick me when I’m onto you.”

I frowned. “But how do you know when I’ll be trying to trick you?”

“Oh, I’ll know.”

“But I told you I was gonna take a shower in the morning and you fell for it.” I smiled sweetly. Maggie let out a small laugh at that, looking over to Carol who shared in on the amusement, just better at controlling herself. Merle turned his glare over to her.

“Whatcha laughing about?” he growled, not liking the turn of events.

Maggie turned her mirth filled eyes at Merle. “You do realize she takes showers before or after dinner? Never in the morning.”

Merle frowned and I tilted my head. “See,” I egged him on, “how will you know if I’m trying to trick you if you don’t know something like that. I can tell you my favorite color is powder blue but maybe it’s purple or green. Maybe none of it. What is it?”

My eyes were shining brightly with the sudden delight I was feeling, watching Merle shift in his seat. He narrowed his eyes on me, finger pointed my way, “I ain’t falling for your psychological warfare.”

I looked up at Daryl, “What’s psychola-psychologic war-psycholagical, gah.” I tried saying it slower the second time, getting more tongue-tied trying to say the word itself, but just gave up altogether. Daryl looked entertained at my struggle of the word but Herschel was the one kind enough to answer me, a smile on his face at my attempt.

“It means playing mind games. You make someone think the worst thing is happening but really you’re just playing with their heads.”

I thought it over, ”Like how Aunt Liza says she makes the other lawyer feel they did a bad job even if they did good?” 

Daryl snorted, looking over my head. “Yeah, like your Aunt Liza. Surprise there.”

Rick suddenly clapped his hands, startling everyone. “That’s it. That’s how we’re going to win.” Rick walked over to Daryl and me, pulling me out from under Daryl’s arm before either of us knew what he was doing. Startled, I looked over at Daryl - ready to ask for help- before looking over at a smiling Rick. He quickly kissed my forehead as he adjusted his hold on me, ”You are a gem.”

I blinked in confusion as he patted my cheek, gripping onto Rick’s flannel shirt as he turned to Merle, forgetting that he was still holding me. “How many actual fighters does he have?” 

The topic quickly switched back to tactics.

Merle was just as confused, eyeing the man uncertainly, and Rick clarified for him. “People who know how to handle walkers, how to fight?”

“Well,” Merle drawled, “between us storming Woodbury and Bambi havin’ the rest eaten back in town.” I gave him a look at the walker comment. That was not my fault. That was his for opening the door. “He still has ‘bout ten of them if he’s lucky.” 

“So technically,” Glenn caught on, “we’re on equal footing if only ten of them know what they’re doing.”

“Meaning the other twenty are going to be too nervous and scared,” Michonne grinned. “We just need to make them think that they got the upper hand before coming down on them.” 

“If we make it look like there isn’t anyone here,” Maggie tossed an idea, “and we start fighting back when they already think they won...” Idea drifting off for someone else to see the pattern of thinking.

“They’ll go off running with tails between their legs.” Daryl chipped in, agreeing with the plan before it was fully formulated.

I looked over at Carl unsure how me getting Merle for picking on Daryl had even led to this. He seemed to understand what happened better than I did because he was even chipping in, trying to contribute himself. I sighed and looked over at Daryl, who noticed me uncomfortably still being held by Rick as the man was getting overly excited at the plans they were making. I reached out to him, silently asking for some help. Except the other Dixon decided to announce it to everyone once more.

“Bambi wants her Papa?”

One eye, Merle. Sleep with one eye open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those riddles came from a website based completely on logic. Can't take credit for those.


	33. Lemon Shark!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uploading it before work because a girl has her stories to read too. 
> 
> Thank you comments and kudos!
> 
> And yes...I purposely wanted Cielo to be adorably threatening 
> 
> But there was a comment that made me wonder which chaoter sealed the deal for the rest of you. What was your ABSOLUTE favorite to date.
> 
> And as usual, mistakes are mine, especially when uploading on a phone.

The day that we planned for came. Everything was packed and placed in the car with a meet up point on the off chance things go downhill. I clutched onto Toothless, backpack in place, frowning as I watched the others adjust armor or pass ammo. Maggie was the first to see me after adjusting her armor standing by the stairs, watching silently. She walked over and gently clipped my chin with her fingers. “What’s with that face? We’ll see each other in a bit.”

“I know,” I wrapped my arms around her, armor making it slightly difficult, “I just hate this.”

“Us too,” Maggie whispered, running her fingers through my hair, miraculously not catching on a knot. As I pulled away, I saw something shine on her hands and I focused on it, eyes widening. “You’re married?!”

That seemed to get the attention of some of the others. I grasped onto her hand and looked over at Glenn, “Is that why you asked about ring sizes?”

He grinned, “And now you got nothing to tease me about. I finally asked her to marry me.”

“Oh, poor innocent, Glenn,” I mused, looking back at the ring, ignoring the confused man. “It’s pretty.”

Maggie laughed, pulling on a curl teasing me in return, “Don’t tease him or you’ll be sleeping with one eye open.”

“Message received,” I grinned before turning to the others behind her. Daryl was clapping Glenn on the back, congratulating him, as Merle was starting to rib him. Rick was holding onto Judith, talking to Carl who wasn’t willing to listen to what Rick was trying to tell him. I narrowed my eyes on him, wondering what made him snap into that baboso from the farm again. It definitely was taking me a bit longer than I thought to get back into his good books but something I learned is that he is stubborn.

A Grimes trait apparently...

I didn’t think more of it as I was pulled to the side a bit roughly, knowing immediately who it was, “Merle!”

“Uncle Merle ain’t gonna get a hug?” I rolled my eyes but did so anyway, knowing he was trying to get a rise out of me. He must have figured that seeing me with a mad face was loads better than one where I was bawling my eyes out. 

“You only had to ask,” I told him sweetly, putting on a brave face. He chuckled, pinching my cheeks gently before running a hand over my head.

“Keep yerself safe.” He sternly ordered. I pulled away from my hug a bit, giving him a sour look of my own.

“I got Carl as backup. He’s in a mood to put people in their place.” I smacked his right arm, hand stinging from the contact with the metal brace. “You come back in one piece. You’re already missing a hand, don’t got much else to lose.”

Merle snorted as I turned to look up at Daryl who was observing our interaction quietly. Keeping the brave face was a bit harder looking at him directly. I think he noticed before a finger was pointed my way. “What I say about hiding ya feelings?”

I frowned, keeping the sudden rock in my throat at bay, “I don’t wanna cry, so I’m staying shut about it.” His gaze softened as my voice wobbled a bit and I wrapped my arms around him next. “You promise to come back alive, right?”

The fear of losing Daryl was creeping in. He’s the only one that really gets me. If I lose him, then the next two people would be Carol and -as much as I didn’t want to really admit it- Merle. They are in the line of fire themselves. Any stray bullet in their direction is the immediate loss of who knew what I felt without saying a word about it. I do love the others but they won’t get me like they do. To lose  _ all _ of them would be an absolute nightmare.

I already lost all of my family that raised me…

I’ve lost a few new ones since I met them.

I don’t want to say good-bye again...

Daryl ran a hand through my hair, small smile on his lips, “Yeah, I promise.” 

“We’ll be alright Bambi,” Merle had a soft tone that I haven’t heard before, “don’t ya worry. Didn’t I say that only a Dixon can kill a Dixon?” I tilted my head back to see a Merle grin at me, eyes dull. Nervously, I clutched onto the hand I saw reaching for my hair, failing to intertwine my tiny fingers into his large stubby ones so I just grabbed on his thumb.

“You promise too?” I didn’t like the dull look in his eyes. It was almost as if he was saying that he wasn’t going to make it out of this one. He looked more alive when he went with Rick and Daryl the day he was to meet the Governor again, taking out more people from the fight. Now, it’s like he was planning on letting himself be the scapegoat. Mentally saying goodbye and checking out.

Some life seemed to reach his eyes again before he squeezed my hand. “Promise, Bambi.” I stared at him a bit more before an idea came to my mind. I let go of both of them and reached the back of my neck, finally learning how to open the necklace’s clasp. The short necklace dangled between my fingers and I grabbed Daryl’s hand putting the delicate piece of jewelry in his hand. Then I took off the ring and put that one in Merle’s.

“There,” I told them, “now you have to come back, no matter what.”

Both seemed confused and Daryl went to say something but Herschel called out. “Time to go.”

“See you!” I ran off before either Dixon could say another word. They promised and have to give me back the ring and necklace. There isn’t a choice. “Try to keep it clean!” I added, turning the corner without a backwards glance. Carl was walking with Beth towards the car, the older girl carrying Judith in a car seat. I stopped and ran back realizing I haven’t said anything to Rick, Carol, Michonne, or Glenn. I nearly crashed into Herschel who was leaving the building as I tried to go back in. 

“Cielo, what-” He started to ask but I interrupted him. “Gotta say bye.” I quickly uttered to him, dodging around heading to the four I haven’t said a word to. Thankfully, all four were near each other. Glenn and Rick were standing by a table, collecting last second ammo and flash grenades for the plan. Michonne was next to Carol, who was kneeling on the floor, trying to adjust the sizing of the armor on the floor. Not losing the momentum of my run, I gave her a kiss to the cheek, surprising the woman with the sudden attack when I just ran up. I gave one to Michonne too before hopping onto the bench, then table, wrapping an arm around the necks of each man.

“See ya later.” I mumbled to them, hopping off the table into a running start, seeing Herschel was waiting for me. I ran past the handicapped man and back where I was headed to begin with, feeling the tightness in my chest as I left as both Dixon’s tried to get my attention. 

The car was not too far from the edge of the building. Beth was already in the passenger seat, leaving Carl and I to go in the back with Judith, both of which were already in there. I pulled open the door in the back, slipping off my backpack and sitting down, throwing it on the floor in front of me.

“You’re crying already?” Carl sounded disgusted with my reaction.

I glared over Judith’s head to Carl. “I don’t know why you’re acting like the same baboso from the farm but do me a favor and shut it. Just ‘cause you’re mad at your dad at something new doesn’t mean you can take it out on me. I’m scared they’re going to end up like Mami. I wanted to be able to tell them bye like Dale. So sorry if me crying bothers you.”

Carl’s lips thinned, clearly wanting to yell back at me, but he held himself back. “They aren’t going to be like Dale or your mom,” was his only response before looking away. Beth didn’t say anything, knowing that a wrong word can possibly set off the Grimes boy, instead she reached over to Judith who was between us. “Cielo, you don’t mind if Judith has Terry, do you?”

I looked down at the infant, who seemed to have had a tight grip on Terry, likely curious at the worn out dinosaur. “No, it’s fine. The worst she can do is drool on him.”

“Luckily, there is still some time before she starts teething.” Beth assured me. I looked at her, noticing she was just as upset, hair down instead of in her usual ponytail. Having her hair down made her look older. I wanted to say she looked tired, almost like when we were at the farm, after Shane shot up the barn. Lifeless. She didn’t say much else as Herschel finally opened the drivers door.

“Off we go,” He uttered as he turned on the car, engine roaring, not wasting time in driving the car off. 

I sniffled, my nose starting to clog from the silent tears falling down my face. I looked out the window at the prison we were driving away from, hoping that everyone would be alright. In the best case scenario, they may be a hurt, but still alive. I didn’t want to think about the absolute worst one.

Where Rick and Daryl agreed for Herschel to go to didn’t take long. It was barely much of a drive into the woods, enough distance from the prison, but still close. Carl and I were standing outside the car when we heard the first explosion, gunfire following immediately after that. I clutched tighter to Toothless, hearing the mayhem that arrived to the others in the prison, flinching at the second explosion between the gunfire. 

I started pacing away from the gunfire, Carl walking up to lean against the tree listening to what was happening, facing the smoke rising in the air. “I should be there.” He told us. I shot him a glare, wondering if that is part of why he was in a mood, but instead of saying anything to him, I groaned in frustration. Herschel looked over at me, scanning the area I was standing by. “Careful, that’s wood nettle, it’ll have you itching for a few hours.”

I looked over at the plant Herschel was telling me about. Seeing how close I was to stepping in it I walked towards the car a little, realizing it was silent. The explosions stopped. There wasn’t any other sound of heavy artillery ringing in the air. Just silence.

I turned to look at the grey building in the distance, waiting to hear the alarms go off as planned, to know that they were really okay to do so. Almost as if they heard me, the alarms to the prison blared, muffled gunfire resounding within the place we’ve gotten to know as home. “Think they found the pests in the tombs.” I tried joking, squeezing the life out of Toothless’s tiny arms.

I let out a breath of air, focusing on the car that was covered in dead leaves and twigs we grabbed from the ground. I pulled on the strings from my grey hoodie, trying to do something to calm me down. Hearing the alarms blaring made me anxious about a walker sneaking up on us. There were plenty of them that day when Andrew decided to get even about Tomas. At least this time there was a car we could all get in to get away.

The alarms shut off but the gunfire started anew outside the prison. I caught myself gnawing on one of the plastic pieces from the string of the hoodie before spitting it out. I am definitely overthinking it all. So far, it sounds like everything is going to plan and everyone is okay. Everything is going according to plan. 

We like it when things go according to plan. 

The loud snap of a twig in front of us had everyone reaching for their gun, aiming it in the same place it came from. A teenager close to Beth’s age came out from the woods. He was scrambling to get away from the prison, pushing away branches of the bush he ran past. The older teen froze upon seeing four guns aimed at him. Realizing whatever plan he had in mind had backfired on him. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.” His eyes darted nervously between all of us. “Don't shoot.”

Herschel was the one to take charge of the situation. “Drop the weapon, son.”

He nodded, quickly, “Sure.” He took his finger off the trigger, barrel pointed up in the air, handing it over slowly to Carl. “Here, take it.”

I looked over at Carl, wondering what was taking him so long to take the gun from him. Putting mine on safety, I put it between my waistband, walking over to take the gun away from the teen. He turned to look at me and started to hand the rifle to me at the same time his head jerked back, falling over. I was in shock, looking at the blood leaking from the bullet hole between his dull eyes, unable to understand what even happened. 

He was giving me the gun but his head…

It looked exactly the same as Axel’s had when we were attacked.

Just….gone...

“Carl,” I whispered, unsure of what else to say. My eyes couldn’t leave the body that was just handing over his gun, knowing his chances were low with four against one, hypnotized by the pool of blood growing underneath his head. I finally pulled away from the person that was just standing in front of me and turned my eyes to Carl, who didn’t spare another look at the teen he just killed. He seemed so apathetic. That wasn’t the Carl I knew. Carl was either angry or annoyed but never cold hearted as he was being now. 

Looking over Carl’s shoulder, wondering what to even say, I saw Herschel’s face of horror. Beth didn’t look any more different than I did. Her gaze was focused more on the dead body in shock than the younger teen who was stowing away his gun. Carl walked over and grabbed the rifle that was being handed to him -to me- leaning it next to the other one we had against the car. “We can head back in a few minutes.” He told us.

* * *

We silently drove the car up, seeing everyone outside, looking healthy, grinning at each other. Second Herschel parked the car, I ripped the door open and started running towards the two Dixons. Daryl was the one who bent down, pulling me up as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I hated every second.” I informed them.

“Ya getting too big to pick up.” Daryl grunted. I pulled back, looking at him carefully before turning to look at Merle. Both men seemed to be fine, able to set the flash grenades off without having to deal with either walkers or Woodbury residents.

“Aww, ya cryin’ Bambi?” He teased.

I reached up to see it was true. I was crying again. “I don’t mean to. I’m just happy everyone is okay.” I sniffled. Merle grinned, eyes looking me over for anything out of the ordinary. “Ah, before I forget,” he tapped my nose before reaching into his pocket to pull out the silver ring I gave earlier. “Nice and clean, like ya wanted it.” I grinned, reaching out for it.

“That kid was scared.” Herschel’s voice echoes over to us. “He was handing his gun over.”

We all turned to look, seeing what the commotion was about, but of the three I knew what Herschel was talking about. I nervously twisted the ring in my hand before sliding it on a thumb, not wanting to drop or lose it in the grass. Daryl slowly put me down, looking over at Rick and Herschel with some concern.

Rick shook his head in denial, eyes darting around him, not looking at the irate man in front of him. “He said he drew. Carl said it was in defense.”

“What are they on about over there?” Merle muttered, putting his hand on his hip. I leaned into Daryl’s leg.

“Carl shot someone.” I told him, both men looking down at me, wanting to know what happened. I was more focused on what Rick would say. He wasn’t looking at Herschel, keeping his gaze on Judith, who was wrapped up a bit warmer than what she probably needed to be.

“I was there.” Herschel was begging Rick to listen to what he was saying. “He didn't have to shoot. He had every reason not to--”

Rick cut him off, crading Judith’s head to his face, kissing her head once more. “Maybe it looked like that to you, Hershel--” 

“Rick! I'm telling you he gunned that kid down.” Herschel was getting frustrated. “Beth was there and so was Cielo. She was going to grab his gun from him. He was surrendering to us and Carl shot him, no remorse.”

“Cielo,” Daryl called to me and I looked up, unaware he tried getting my attention. “Who did Carl shoot?

“There was a guy who found us, in the woods.” I looked at the ring on my hand, staring at the stone. “He was giving me his gun. Carl didn’t have to shoot him.”

Both men were silent and knowing them well enough, I would see two grim faces. Biting my lip nervously, I looked up at Daryl, who was staring at the Grimes boy with the exact expression I imagined would be there. “Daryl,” I winced at how mousy my voice sounded but it still got his and Merle’s attention, “do people feel bad after killing someone?”

“Damn Bambi, what kind of question is that?” Merle frowned at me. Daryl didn’t say anything. He knew that there was more to the question itself. Instead, he waited for me to finish up my thoughts. 

“Carl didn’t look like he was sorry one bit.” I nibbled on my bottom lip before continuing. “It’s not like the guy came here and wanted to hurt us just to hurt us. He was as old as Beth. He probably would have rather stayed in Woodbury.”

The frowns on their faces deepened. Daryl seemed to find the answer to give me as he mulled it over. “Carl was in the wrong for that.” He looked down at his hands, pulling on another thread that came undone, something done more of anxiety than annoyance. “If he was giving you the gun, he was giving up. You don’t shoot at someone who isn’t trying to shoot you.”

“And ya will feel horrible if ya shoot at someone who didn’t mean harm. Ya never forget their face.” Merle finished. I looked closely at him, seeing he looked a bit far off when he said it. Maybe he was speaking from experience. 

Having to be living with the Governor had to be hard. Merle probably had to do things he didn’t want to do. Things he never agreed with but if the man calling the shots said to do something, you had to do it. Something told me that Merle wouldn’t be here today if he decided to ignore an order. Someone else would have killed him on orders. Assuming the Governor didn’t do so himself.

I nodded, letting them know I heard what they said, not wanting to push Merle on what he meant. “I’m going to get my stuff out of the car. See if I can help put the stuff back.”

“Nah, keep it in the car for a bit longer, just in case.” Daryl tugged on my hoodie, opening it up and resetting the strings. The sound of gravel crunching had us looking up at Rick's approach. He didn’t have Judith anymore but he was looking concerned.

“Hey, we’re heading after them to end it, once and for all. Glenn and Maggie are staying. Gonna load up the truck before heading out.” He couldn’t look either man in the eye and froze when he saw me practically hidden by Daryl. I blinked up at him, unsure of what to say, knowing I was still an emotional wreck with tear stains on my face. He seemed to be in the same boat before he said anything. “Cielo, Carl said you guys had someone shooting at you?”

“Shooting at us?” I repeated in surprise. I couldn’t believe he tried lying to Rick. “He was giving me the gun.” I scanned the yard for Carl, seeing him kicking at the bleachers. He knew he messed up and tried to cover it up. Did he not think Herschel would say something?

Rick nodded, turning away, hand going up to run through his hair. I rolled my hands into the sleeves and rubbed my face, drying off the tears and any tear stains. I sniffed, trying to unclog my nose with no success. 

“Crying again?” was the incredulous tone above me.

I huffed at Merle who seemed annoyed with me. “No, my nose is all stuffed.” I twisted the ring off my thumb again, putting it in Merle’s pocket myself. “One piece.” I growled as I walked off, heading inside like I saw Beth do after checking in on Maggie. Michonne tapped my nose on the way out, carrying a few semi-automatics that either Rick got from his trip or the Woodbury people who didn’t survive the walkers. I smiled at her before heading inside completely, looking to see if anything was amiss inside like it was outside.

Seeing the destruction of the watchtowers we had still up in smoke, burning away was unreal. The walkers that were busted into our courtyard, shot up to smithereens by the same people who put them there. Seeing one of the trucks decked out in big lights, heavy machine guns, and armor stuck in the field because of Michonne’s bright idea of spiking the yard let me know it would have been bad if we didn’t do what we did. 

How we would have lost everyone. 

How I would have lost most of my new family. 

I would have lost the closest thing to a dad.

I gripped the sleeve of the hoodie, rubbing the fabric between my fingers anxiously. Carol was the next person I saw and I walked over, gripping her hand tightly. I’m sure my eyes were still red from crying earlier. “Hey,” she tilted my head up to her, “had a good cry?”

A short laugh left me. “I was so nervous for all of you and looking outside up close looks bad. I’m happy everyone is okay. I was scared someone was going to be really hurt.”

“Aww, sweetie,” Carol pulled me into a hug, one that I basked in. I breathed in the lavender vanilla soap she’s been using, feeling that was the perfect calming scent for Carol. I pulled away a little, looking up at the serene woman. “Let’s get some things cleaned up before we bring our stuff back in.”

“‘Kay,” I agreed, letting her drag me to where work needed to be done. If I was just left alone to stand around, I think I would drive myself insane.

* * *

The next morning was when we heard the rumbling of Daryl’s bike again. The knots that were in my stomach the entire time they were gone let up a bit. Carl was already heading out the door, just as desperate to have answers as I did, no doubt feeling overstrung himself. I was right behind him but stopped when I saw that it wasn’t just Daryl and the others coming back. There were more people. People from Woodbury if that bus was to say anything.

The truck with the others slowed to a stop, the big bus behind it doing the same. Rick was the first one out and Carl beelined for him. I didn’t move, keeping my distance from the bus that was opening, keeping a cautious eye on some of the people that were coming out. A large hand broke my vision of the oncoming people. The calloused hand had a little ring clenched between two fingers and I took it, whimsically asking, “One piece?”

“Yeah, one piece,” he laughed, looking over at the Woodbury residents. I reached over and grabbed his hand, eyes still not coming off the amount of people getting off the bus. If Merle was shocked I reached for his hand, he didn’t say or act it. He let me take a hold of his hand without complaint.

“Why are they here?”

“Governor shot up the people who were here yesterday because they didn’t want to come back. He left them all behind back at Woodbury.” Daryl was the one to answer, dangling the necklace in front of me. I accepted the necklace and let go of Merle’s hand to put it back on. 

I was surprised to see some kids coming off the bus but I know I shouldn’t be. Andrea said that there were kids there. My mood uplifted, knowing that if people from Woodbury would be here that would mean Andrea would be here too. Turns out there was a silver lining in this situation.

I looked up at Daryl, “Is Andrea on the bus?”

I saw the frown before he figured how to answer my question. Seeing that heartbroken expression on his face was all I needed to know that Andrea didn’t make it. I reached for his hand this time, the happy mood gone again. “Governor?” I asked, not really wanting to know the how.

“Yeah...”

I sighed, knowing that it was too good to be true that everyone came back okay. I’ve lost three family members in a matter of two months. I looked back at the people lining up by the bus before I narrowed my eyes, focusing on a balding head. The happiness I felt from before skyrocketed. 

“Lemon Shark!” My scream startled both men next to me but shocked brown eyes narrowed in on me instantly.

“The hell is a Lemon Shar-” Merle was interrupted by the reply.

“Tiger Shark!”

I let go of Daryl’s hand and ran over to the old man who hobbled past other startled Woodbury residents. Everyone was confused at what the shouting was about but I didn’t care. 

He was here. 

He was here!

Everything was blurring as I clutched onto the kneeling man, almost knocking him over when he knelt down. I felt kisses all over my head and face, hearing him crying in relief, clutching onto me. “My little Tiger Shark,” he muttered over and over again as he rocked us side to side. 

I pulled away, taking a look at his red face, covered in as many tears as mine probably were. “Hi, Grandpa.”

He stood up, struggling to do so, and I helped where I could. He cupped my face with both hands, “Look at you!” His eyes were misting with tears again before looking around, elated. “Where is Emilia?” 

I frowned, looking back at the Woodbury residents, not wanting to tell him about Mami just yet. I returned his question with a question of mine. “Where’s Grandma?”

He frowned in return before shaking his head. “Grandma didn’t do good last winter. You know how Grandma had bad lungs. She needed oxygen but her tank ran out. Doctor couldn’t do much for her.” He explained, nodding at the memory he had with Grandma before focusing again. “Cielo, where’s your Ma? Where’s Emilia?” He frowned, looking around for Mami before settling back on me.

“She turned. I was waiting for her to come back.” 

“Oh, God,” Grandpa pulled me to him, wrapping an arm around me, horrified. I looked up at him realizing that he was worrying about how I was by myself. That there was no one to care for me. I pulled away, grabbing a hand and kissing it, letting him know I was okay.

“It’s okay, Rick and the others found me and they’ve been taking care of me since. Daryl is the best, though. He taught me stuff like how to track and use a bow.”

Grandpa’s brows knitted in concern. “Well, I know who Rick is but who’s Daryl?” he asked.

I looked back at where I left both of the Dixon’s, both were staring stone faced over at me. I grinned at their faces and looked mischievously up at Grandpa, who gave me a cross look I knew far too well. “He’s Merle’s brother. They’re standing over there. C’mon.”

“Merle’s brother, huh?” I pulled him over, mindful of the limp he had, something that had to have happened in the last year. I heard the scornful tone in his voice.

“Be nice, he isn’t bad mouthed like Merle.” I scolded, ignoring the snort of disbelief. I already knew Grandpa didn't like Merle because he wasn't a guy who cared for cussing. I’m sure there were other faults he found in Merle but I could easily pinpoint the cussing.

“If you had to live with Merle as long as I have…” Grandpa muttered, eyes narrowing on the older Dixon. Both Merle and Daryl straightened up as I came closer with Grandpa. 

“Daryl, Merle,” I grinned looking up at a suspicious old codger who didn’t listen about being nice, “this is Grandpa. Grandpa, I said be nice.”

Merle snorted at that. “She tells ya that too, Shep?” Merle took a look at Grandpa, trying to see the similarities between him and I, making connections as he scoffed. “Sheppard. Thought Shep was ya name.”

Grandpa stood tall himself, looking Merle in the eye, almost puffing up. “Names Charles Sheppard, Shep is what people called me. Makes me sound less of a prick like some men I know,” he growled.

Why did that feel like a dig?

“Be good, Lemon Shark.” I warned.

“It’s alright Bambi,” Merle grinned, completely unfazed by it, “Shep and I don’t have any problems as long as I ain’t cursin’ up a storm.”

Grandpa blinked at the nickname before looking down at me, astonished, “How in the  _ world _ did you get ‘Bambi’?”

I blinked owlishly up at him, “‘Cause I’m cute.”

Daryl choked on a laugh and Grandpa took another look at me. He grunted, a lazy drawl came out as his question, “They caught on to you, didn’t they?”

“Sneaky lil’ thing, ain’t she?” Merle replied mischievously, a gleam to his eyes to match the smirk he threw Grandpa’s way.

Grandpa let out a sigh, shooting Merle an exasperated look. “I’ve been there since Day One, trust me when I say she could be one heck of a loan shark- mind you- I can finally say it without her going to the blasted internet to figure that out.”

Merle barked a laugh and I gave Grandpa a suspicious look in return. Daryl couldn’t help but crack a grin at that as he listened to the conversation happening in front of him. I crossed my arms, narrowing my eyes up at Grandpa slightly peeved. “You know I’ll figure it out, right?”

“How many cookies and chocolate did it take before you all figured her out?” Grandpa ignored me, asking the two men about my favorite snacks.

“Plenty of cookies, that’s for sure.” Daryl answered, giving a toothy smirk. “Bribed someone into getting her chocolate everytime he goes out on a run.”

Grandpa sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. “Yup, that’s my grandbaby alright.”

“I got a question that has been buggin’ me since I met this little pipsqueak.” Merle crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes in suspicion. “Did ya ever get her brain tested? She’s too-”

“Smart. Oh, I know.” Grandpa nodded solemnly, “Fishing buddy of mine was a psychologist, he noticed and asked if he could ask some questions, see where she’s at. Mentally, you know.”

I looked up wide eyed at Grandpa, nearly shrieking in indignation, “Is that why you took me fishing all the time?”

He chuckled, “No, I do like taking you fishing. We both got away from your Grammy to get apple pie, didn’t we?”

I huffed, still displeased about the trick. “Who?”

“Mr. McCloud.” Grandpa patiently answered. I pouted. 

I liked Mr. McCloud. 

He always came with Kit Kat bars and was pretty goofy.

“What he say?” Daryl asked, just as curious as Merle. Now they were finally getting an answer. Both Dixon’s waited anxiously to know. Giving Grandpa their complete attention. I rocked back and forth on my feet, slightly irate at being tricked, wondering the same myself all the while.

Grandpa gave Daryl a playful grin. “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck.”

“Is that your way of saying that he said I was smart?” I sighed, knowing Grandpa. Daryl didn’t know how Grandpa ticked yet. It’s probably a good idea to stick by just in case. Not sure how close to the Alabama border Daryl or Merle were living at in Georgia, but there are some quirks in good ol’ Alabama, no doubt about it.

“Too smart for your own good. Skipping Kindergarten did jack squat for you,” he reached up and playfully clasped his knuckles on my nose loosely, letting me pull my head away with a grunt.

Merle clapped Daryl’s back hard enough the slender man nearly fell over in surprise. “Dammit Merle!”

“I knew it!” Merle tapped his head. “She ain’t no average seven year old that’s for sure.”


	34. What is a Loan Shark?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a Friday treat before Halloween!
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and comments! They keep a girl going.  
> Did hit a bit of a writer's block (mostly because I think it's not coming out how I want it to be written) but I have plenty of chapters I am proud of to still upload in the meantime.
> 
> Enjoy Trick o Treating if you got little ones and be safe.

The Woodbury residents were being directed to set up in a different cell block from us. Rick justified it to everyone that it's to give both groups time to get used to one another and comfort to be with people they already trust. No one disagreed. A woman named Karen seemed to be doing most of the talking for Woodbury residents. Tyreese and Sasha were there too, which was a bit of a surprise, but Tyreese was helping Karen settle people from Woodbury. I was leaning against Grandpa's chest the whole conversation, not ready to let him go just yet. Before everyone scattered, I called over to Rick, the poor man clearly worn down from everything that had happened. 

"Rick," I grasped onto Grandpa's hand, "can Grandpa bunk with us? I don't want him far away." I pouted, doing my best to not over-exaggerate the batting of my eyes as I pleaded with Rick. Can’t be too obvious.

Rick smiled tiredly, "I don't think the others would mind your Grandpa coming in our block. You got to ask your Grandpa if he's comfortable coming."

I turned around to look at Grandpa, see what he thought. He just brushed a strand of hair behind my hair as his eyes glittered at me. "Now don't give me those eyes. If you wanna stay, you can. Just don't expect me to sleep in a top bunk.” He thought about things a little more. “Or go upstairs, my leg gives me a hard time as is.”

I thought about the limp he seemed to have and nodded. “I’ll find a good cell on the first floor if it makes it easy for you.”

He smiled, “Thank you, Cielo.”

“Anything for my favorite Lemon Shark,” I grinned and got off his knee, running to start moving my stuff to the first floor. First thing is to see what cell is available and not still disgustingly dirty. We didn’t have a need to clean and use every cell in our cellblock. On my way checking the cells, I noticed Daryl was keeping an eye up on the second floor, leaning on the railing with Merle standing next to him with a small frown. I blinked up at them, wondering what was wrong, but I needed to find a clean cell first. 

It took me a good minute to see the only other good cell on the first floor was the one we made as our little infirmary next to Herschel’s. Sighing, I crossed my arms, wondering what to do because I don’t want to clean out a new cell. Grandpa wasn't a spring chicken himself to clean out an entire cell. There's also the issue of his leg. He can't move around that well.

The rich chuckle I’ve grown up with sounded behind me. “Can’t find me a room?”

“They’re all dirty and the only clean one is the one we use as our infirmary,” I told him, eyeing the other cells that were vacant. If he didn’t have problems with his lungs now he will if he stayed in those dust-covered cells.

“They don’t look that dirty to me.” Grandpa inspected one of the cells himself, limping over.

“No, it’s dirty,” I stressed, refusing to let him in a dirty cell.

Grandpa stopped and turned to look at me with a squinted look. “Your Ma got you seeing invisible specks of dust too?”

“Dust isn’t invisible. It’s just very small,” I sniffed. I’m not like Mami and Abuela when they go into a cleaning frenzy. I’m absolutely normal in that regard, thank you very much.

“Cielo is very particular about certain things.” Herschel’s plastic crutches announced his arrival. “She was quite particular with hers when we first settled in.” He looked at Grandpa with a welcoming smile. “Herschel Greene,” he introduced himself, hand reaching out to shake Grandpa’s.

Grandpa returned the gesture and shook his hand, “Charles Sheppard but you can call me Shep. Ain’t an overly formal man. Gotta thank y’all for taking care of my little Tiger Shark there.”

Herschel took the gratitude humbly. “I wouldn’t dare turn away a child in need. Especially one like Cielo who was on her own.” Herschel shifted slightly, motioning to the infirmary that was next to him. “You’re welcome to that cell. Best to move all the medical supplies in the actual infirmary itself.”

“‘Kay, I’ll get my stuff, be back,” I told Grandpa but Herschel was a bit confused.

“You’re gonna share with your grandpa?”

I blinked at him in confusion. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Herschel seemed just as confused as I was but Grandpa caught on before I did. “You never shared a room with me or Grandma when you slept over did you?”

“No,” I answered, still unsure about what was going on.

“Then why do you feel like you need to now?” Grandpa asked, his tone was a familiar one. It was the one he used when he explained things to me until I got it. So this is something that I’m not getting. 

“Because you-oh,” it clicked. No point in sharing the room with him because like at the house in Alabama, it’s Grandpa’s room. Only Grandma and Grandpa slept in the same room. I shrugged, “Well, just holler.” Both men chuckled as I turned to leave onto my next mission.

See what is going on with the two grumpy Dixons.

Looking back at the railing, they were both gone, likely setting up their room again after putting the things they had away for the raid. Walking up the stairs, I noticed the others who went to Woodbury to finish things off were settling back in their rooms as well. Michonne had also picked a room on the first floor and set up that hideous cat statue on a small metal table. Getting to the second floor, I noticed the Dixon’s decided to get a room of their own as well. It was strange they decided to do so now but I didn’t comment on it. 

Mami said some things are better left unsaid.

Daryl’s room was the closest, he was currently placing the thin mattress from the top bunk to the bottom. I walked over a bit apprehensively, “Everything okay?”

I seemed to have startled Daryl, he whirled around to see who it was but calmed when he noticed it was me. I walked into the cell trying to help by pulling the mattress evenly on top of the other one without success. I couldn’t lift it much let alone drag the corner to match up with the other. For a thin mattress, it was heavier than it looked. I pouted and watched as Daryl wordlessly did what I tried. I waited for him to say something but he kept on organizing the room to his liking, not saying a word, or even looked my way. 

“Daryl?” It came out as nervous as I felt. 

Did I do something wrong? He wasn’t mad at me earlier.

He let out a loud sigh before looking over. “What is it?”

“Are you okay?” I cautiously asked, eyeing the man. Daryl nodded and pulled the crossbow off his shoulder and placed it on the bare top bunk. I guess he was turning it into a shelf.

“Yeah,” he kept it simple. No reason for him looking glum. I looked at him over again, trying to see something in those eyes of his but his hair grew out some and the goatee he has grown seemed to hide his facial expression some more. It made things far more difficult than it needed to be. I just learned how to read his face. Now he went and grew everything out to hide it.

As if he needed to hide what little expression he shows as is... 

He spared a look at me, noticing I didn’t leave. “What?”

I hummed and turned around, knowing it was best to leave him be, for now, let him get whatever he has on his mind figured out. He’ll talk when he feels like it. I didn’t get far as my hoodie got tugged back. I turned my head to see Daryl analyzing me. “What was that?”

“What was what?” I asked, not sure what he even meant.

“That lil ‘hmm’ ya did.”

I thought about it and shrugged. “Not much. Just a hum.” I looked out the cell, ready to go now. He wanted his space and I was more than happy to give it to him. Right now he was just annoyed because I hummed. Which was dumb.

“Cielo,” Daryl sounded annoyed, “say what ya feel.”

“Are you gonna say how you feel?” I asked him, aggravated. I don’t know what was wrong but Daryl was upset about something. You don’t go from being happy to be back this morning to whatever it was a few hours later. It wasn’t even noon yet.

Daryl didn’t say anything. He looked at me a bit more before sighing, tossing the oversized hood over my head. “I ain’t gonna play games with ya. Been a long week.”

“Tracking trails is a game. You being in a hissy fit and not saying why isn’t a game.” I tossed at him as I left his cell. Now I’m getting annoyed and today is the happiest day I got in a long time. I walked down two cells to see Merle was already settled in. Seeing him so relaxed was unusual. He was either harassing Glenn over something or saying something to Carol or Daryl, riling both up in different ways. Now that I was taking a look at him I zeroed in on the heavily scarred stump. 

This was the first time I was seeing him without his metal brace on.

“You okay?” I tried asking, seeing if he was more open to talking than Daryl.

Merle was startled, not expecting anyone to be at the entrance of his cell. Instead of answering right away, he glared over at me before quickly setting the metal brace back on it, hiding the stump from my view. “Whatcha want?”

“Nope,” I sighed. I pushed off the wall and walked away from his cell too. I didn’t want to get into any arguments with either Dixon. I decided to go back down the stairs to stop by Michonne’s cell, seeing her place the sword against the wall, her back to the cell door. She sighed, rolling her neck side to side and I squinted my eyes at the motion.

“Are you in a bad mood too?” I asked, desperate to talk to someone but the two I really wanted to talk to were being a bunch of babies.

Michonne looked over, straightening up as she did. “No, should I be?”

I sighed heavily, walking into her cell, staring at the splotches of color on the cat statue. “Merle and Daryl are throwing a fit and I don’t know why.” I looked over at the sword once more, the pretty white handle appearing to be elegant. “That sword is awesome,” I muttered loud enough for her to hear.

Michonne chuckled and took off the heavy coat she was wearing, revealing the orange sweater she had underneath it. “It’s not called a sword, it's called a katana.”

I sat on a chair she had in the room, pulling my knees up to my chest. “Why is it called a katana and not a sword?”

She sat in her bed, smiling at me. “Every country has special swords and a katana comes from Japan. Katana’s are traditional to them.” I nodded, taking the answer she gave me. She probably wasn’t completely sure either. 

Oh, how I miss Google...

I took my gaze off the katana, thought coming to mind. “Michonne, what’s a loan shark?”

She’s the closest to Google I got right now. Seeing her confused stare change into that of a curious one told me she knew that phrase very well. I tried to look as unsuspicious as possible. She was pretty much warned by the others in the beginning and now she knows me well enough that a question isn’t always just a question.

“Why do you want to know?” Came the cautious reply. 

Yup, she’s onto me.

“‘Cause Grandpa mentioned it before. I mean, I’m his Tiger Shark and he is my Lemon Shark, but who is loan shark?”

She frowned. “Your Grandpa is a gambling man?”

Gambling has to do with loan sharks?

“He likes to play his Blackjack,” I told her, remembering Grandpa playing with his fishing buddies, every once in a while letting me play with them. It was easy for me to add up the cards in my head to twenty-one and the rules weren't that hard to remember either. The game is fun.

Michonne crossed her arms, leaning into the metal post of the bunk bed behind her. “Loan sharks are bad people. They give you money and then make you pay more than what they gave you. Trick you into it. If you can’t pay them back they do things to hurt you.”

“Really?” I gaped, surprised Grandpa was calling me a bad person. I bit my lip thinking about how Grandpa was phrasing things to Merle earlier.

“So kinda like how I tricked Glenn into getting me chocolate and comics?”

Michonne smiled. “Kind of. A loan shark would demand that you _have_ to get the chocolate and if you don’t find one today, you have to find two tomorrow, and three the day after that, up until you do. You trust that Glenn would bring you chocolate and comics when he sees it. A loan shark won't care.”

So he’s using it loosely with me.

“Oh,” I nodded, “I get it now. Grandpa is in big trouble then.”

Michonne looked worried, leaning forward. “He still has a loan shark after him?”

“Maybe,” I wrinkled my nose, “I’ll figure it out.” 

Will I go after Grandpa?

No.

Not now anyway.

* * *

Dinner was a quiet affair. 

Now that everyone was settled in it took a moment to figure out the best way to feed nearly thirty people. Carol and Beth were used to cooking enough food for twelve people at most- two times a day to ration our food- but the extra residents from Woodbury added a challenge.

Add in that some people were nervous that Carol or Beth would do something to the food, there were more people in the kitchen than usual. Rick and Karen had to be the voice of reason for the Woodbury residents, as some were a bit antsy, and antsy people made rash decisions. 

When I came as dinner was being served I had my own issue of where to sit. I wanted to be with Grandpa but there were the Woodbury people who sat with him. I wasn’t openly hostile like Carl was being, but at the same time, I didn’t want to be near people we were just fighting for our lives against. Carl was being a baboso and I don’t wanna deal with it. Plain and simple. Then there was Daryl who was in a mood. Not sure why he was in a mood but I didn’t want to end a mostly good day with a bad feeling. It’s bad enough we lost Andrea.

When Carol gave me my plate, I just went back to my cell, not sure of where to be. All I heard from my little room was the scratching of metal forks and knives on plates. To be fair, it also could have just been me eating my food in my tiny room. The sounds masked the footsteps coming down the hall. I didn’t look up until I saw Carl take a seat with me on the floor of my room. I didn’t say anything but ate my food, figuring if Carl wanted to say something, he will. He never fails in that regard.

“Can’t believe we have to live in the same place as them.” He uttered, poking at the squirrel meat that I smoked not too long ago.

Never thought oak would have a flavor...

“It’s weird,” I agreed, not wanting to go too deep into it. I scraped the last bit of food into my mouth from the plate. I looked at Carl’s plate, seeing he barely dug into it, too focused on the Woodbury residents.

“Other than the fact they’re here,” I started, hesitating on finishing the thought, “why are you so mad lately?”

He turned to look at me, “I want dad to realize I’m old enough to help now. I can go on runs like Glenn and Maggie. If they need someone to back them up, I would do it too. I shot that guy back in the woods. I can do what needs to be done so no one else dies.”

I put my plate down, pulling my knees to my chest. “Carl, if anyone knows about having to grow up, it’s me. We can’t be little kids anymore. Not like our mom and dads were.”

“Exactly!” He nearly shouted happy someone else is getting it. “We can’t be treated like little kids anymore.”

“It still doesn’t change that we are little Carl,” I wrinkled my nose, ”me more than you obviously but if another grown up comes after us, they’ll win.”

“Not if I have a gun,” He tried to argue.

“Even with a gun, they’ll win, Carl.” I wrapped my arms around my knees. “It’s one thing if you’re shooting from far away but what if they catch you? They’ll take your gun if they really try and then what can you do?”

“But we can still help.” He shook his head, frowning.

“We can but they don’t want us to. You got mad at me too the last time I went to help.”

“You’re still seven and you left without saying what you planned on doing.” He narrowed his eyes on me.

“I told Daryl exactly what my plan was and he still didn’t want me there. I ended up taking a book from someone's pocket which was nowhere near what I had planned. Looking back at it, I would have gone for nothing if it wasn’t that little book.”

We both mused at that, Carl picking up his fork to poke at the plate next to him some more. I stretched out my legs and scooted over, leaning my head on Carl’s shoulder. “It’s weird being a kid and not a kid at the same time,” I whispered. Carl didn’t say anything aloud but snorted instead, agreeing with me. We stayed that way with him finally taking actual bites of his food for a while.

I started to giggle and Carl looked at me as if I lost my mind. “What’s so funny?”

“It just,” I smothered my mouth over my hand to stop the giggles. When I felt I had more control, I tried again. “Mami and me were going to Alabama to go to their house and the entire time Grandpa and Grandma were coming to Georgia for us. Which is weird because Grandpa loved that house. No way he would leave it.”

“Tiger Shark!” Grandpa’s voice shouted outside the cell. The sound startled the both of us but I stood up all the same and walked over to the railing, poking my head over it to see Grandpa grinning at me from the bottom of the stairs. “Come on, I want you to meet someone.”

Dread filled me but I nodded all the same. I didn’t want to meet any of the people from Woodbury but I guess it’s time to rip the band-aid off. I met Carl’s stare and rolled my eyes before heading towards the stairs. Grandpa was happy to see me coming down and I grabbed his hand, letting him lead me to these people. He limped back into the common room where there were two girls and who I’m guessing was their dad. I noticed the other Woodbury residents left already leaving these three with everyone from my cell block. Carol, Beth, and Maggie were looking on with obvious interest. The others were a bit more discreet.

“Cielo,” Grandpa put both hands on my shoulders, tilting me a bit more towards the two girls, ”this is Lizzie and Mika. That’s their dad Ryan.”

I looked at the two blonde girls who were grinning at me and I looked up at Grandpa, unsure what he wanted me to say. “You and Mika are about the same age, so you two should have plenty to talk about, and Lizzie is a pretty good sister to Mika. She is a great girl to be friends with too.” 

“Your hair is really puffy,” Lizzie, the obvious older sister, giggled, “did you brush it?”

Ryan scolded Lizzie and I narrowed my eyes on her, trying to figure out if she was being mean on purpose or just never seen curls before. “No,” I replied, “it’s just really frizzy.”

I reached up and gripped Grandpa’s hand, squeezing it. He gave a small squeeze back but instead of coming up with an excuse for me to go away, he ignored my little plea. “Maybe you girls can play together?”

“We can brush your hair and-” Lizzie started but I interrupted.

“I don’t like people touching my hair.” 

Lizzie frowned, “But it’s frizzy. If we brush it we can get the frizz to go away.”

“No, it’ll make it worse.” I frowned at her, seeing she doesn’t know how curly hair works. She and her sister have straight hair. It’s easier to brush whenever. “If you wanna play games I don’t mind hide and seek.” I shrugged. “I’ll be it and you two can hide.”

I couldn’t help but hear Glenn wheeze.

“Cielo,” the warning tone from Grandpa was hard to miss. He knew exactly that I planned on leaving them where they were.

I blinked up at him, “I guess it is unfair since I know all the good hiding spots.” His brown eyes narrowed at me, knowing exactly what I was doing but didn’t say another word about it.

“Yes, unfair advantage,” He played along, sharing a strained smile with Ryan. “Let’s have the girls meet up tomorrow. We can have them play a card game **together**.” 

Ryan returned the smile before directing his girls towards their cell block. Lizzie and Mika both waved at me and I half-heartedly returned their enthusiastic ones. I watched as they went down the hall and when they disappeared, I hissed at the sudden pull of my ear. “Ow, ow, Paw-paw, that hurts.”

“Oh, now it’s Paw-paw.” Grandpa scoffed as he stopped pulling my ear. “Don’t think I don’t know you planned on leaving those poor girls stranded in their hiding spots.”

I rubbed my ear, pouting. “I don’t wanna play with them,” I whined.

“Paw-paw?”

I turned to see Carl smirking from the cell block doorway with both plates. I stuck my tongue out at him in retaliation. Grandpa let out a loud sigh, settling onto a seat. “For four years, I had this adorable granddaughter who called me Paw-paw until she decides that she isn’t a baby anyore and I’m Grandpa, not Paw-paw.”

Herschel chuckled, likely the only one who had an inkling of what it was like to have a kid suddenly decide they weren’t a baby anymore. Beth leaned forward, “What was she like?”

Grandpa grinned, “Best four years of my life before she learned the power of ‘no’.” He dug into his pocket, pulling out his wallet, holding it out for Beth. “Lucille, my wife, made these little dresses with matching bows we dressed her up in.”

Beth opened the wallet and her eyes widened as she took a glimpse. “Oh, my God she is so cute!” Maggie looked over her shoulder at that and pointed at the picture, awing herself.

“Look at that! She is so adorable,” Maggie gushed.

I narrowed in on the wallet. Those pictures have to go.

“We stopped putting her in those dresses because when my brother came with his grandsons, they always had a wrestling match. Came out covered in mud like little pigs.” Grandpa chucked.

_“Little pig, little pig,” He sang as he searched up and down the aisles._

_The tears started to fall again, wondering where the others were, it’s been long enough that I’ve been missing right?_

_I sniffed, pulling Terry’s head harder into mine, wishing the others were nearby and curled into a tighter ball._

_He can’t find me._

_He can’t._

“Not a little pig,” I whimpered, shaking my head. Grandpa looked at me with an amused stare before he started to look worried.

“Cielo, you’re shaking like a leaf,” He stood up quickly but the limp stopped him from moving as fast as he would’ve liked. I kept backing away, shaking my head, terror filling me, feeling the need to run.

“Not a little pig, I’m not…” I felt my lips moving but the words weren’t coming out. My eyes darted around the room, looking past the people in the room and looking for the best exit. I felt fingers brush against the sleeve of my hoodie and I bolted.

I needed to hide. 

He couldn’t find me.

I turned the corner and ran to the door, slamming into it before pushing it open, needing to find a place away from him. He would be expecting me to be inside here. I need to go outside. There is more open space outside and I could hide in the trees. This time he can’t find me. He found me because there was nowhere to go last time. Now, I had lots of places to hide.

I slammed into the other door and pushed that open before running down the stairs, trying to see how to get past the gate. All of the clips holding the gates in place were still out of reach for me. The small gap from underneath the fence was fixed so no one could get in or out. I froze on the stairs trying to think of where to go. I tried forcing myself to stop gasping for air, needing to be quiet, but it wasn’t enough air. I clung onto the railing, feeling my entire lung fill with air, but it wasn’t enough.

Feeling dizzy, I sat down, sliding down a step accidentally, gripping the railing tighter. I couldn’t stay here but there was no air. My lungs were burning. I tried sucking in air to my lungs but they were still burning.

Did he break my bone? 

I felt my ribs with my other hand, remembering how much it hurt, but it doesn’t hurt anymore. He kept kicking me. It should hurt. I closed my eyes, both hands clinging onto the railing, feeling light-headed. Something isn’t right. 

Something isn’t right.

Something was wrong. 

What was wrong?

“Bambi,” a soft voice whispered in my ear. 

I opened my eyes to see Daryl crouched on the stairs next to me, laser blue eyes focused on my terrified gaze. I took a few greedy breaths of air before asking, “Where is he?”

Daryl looked confused, “Who?”

“The man. He kept kicking and hitting but nothing hurts but it did hurt. Everything hurt.” I looked around to see Rick and Merle at the bottom of the stairs, obviously worried. “He found me last time,” I looked back at Daryl’s crushed look, “I can’t let him find me. I have to hide but it got hard to breathe. I couldn’t hide.”

Daryl’s adams apple bobbed continuously and I scanned the small space fearfully. “He wants to know where the others are. We can’t let him find them. He’s gonna hurt them too.” I anxiously told Daryl, twisting my grip on the railing, scared to let go.

“He ain’t,” Daryl whispered, hand forming a fist, knuckles turning white.

“How do you know?” I whispered back, worried he would hear us. I strained to hear for any footsteps or whispers that weren’t ours.

“He’s dead,” Daryl croaked, dense lashes watering. My head snapped over to him, seeing unshed tears gathering in his eyes, turning them into a murky blue.

“Promise?” I cried softly.

“Yeah, baby girl,” he went to reach over before stopping himself, “I promise.”

I lunged for Daryl, wrapping my arms around his neck, hiding my face in it. He wrapped his around me, whispering words that I didn’t really grasp onto. Daryl said he was dead. I don’t remember that. A few glimpses from him chasing me into the building were all I remembered before getting trapped. 

I made a mistake, I know that.

“He still feels alive,” I whispered into Daryl’s neck, feeling the man tense up.

“If I knew what he did, if I knew ya still be like this,” Daryl’s voice took on a darker tone, “I wouldn’t have let him die that easy.”


	35. House Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uploading now because something tells me when I get home from work, I'm out like a light.
> 
> Officially stuck at future chapters, not sure because my thrill of writing this finally came to an end or I'm having a blah week writing-wise. Haven't finished a chapter I started writing two weeks ago and normally it doesn't take me that long for one chapter.
> 
> Hope this one is up to standards, enjoy your week!

The first person to come back was Merle who was scowling as he came in. Daryl carrying Cielo following behind him with Rick being the last to come inside. Shep stood immediately once he saw his granddaughter being carried into the common area. “She alright?”

“Yeah,” Merle answered, “she wore herself out.”

Shep stared down the crass man, “Someone wants to explain what that even was?”

Everyone shared a look, wondering who would be the one to tell the man about the incident that happened over the winter. Herschel seemed to have taken the responsibility to explain to the man, clearing his throat. “How about you take a seat,” Herschel placted the man, “I’ll explain it to you.”

Shep turned his hostile gaze away from the burly man to the other man. “I reckon’ I’m not gonna like what you're gonna say, am I right?” He looked back at Daryl, who took a seat himself as the child wasn’t letting go. With a sigh, Shep hobbled over close to Herschel and took a seat at a table across from the man, to be safe.

Herschel turned a tense look at the balding man, “Over the winter, we didn’t have a set place to stay. So we had to move from place to place to keep looking for food and to keep safe from others.” Shep frowned, listening as some of the others in front of him were wearing solemn faces at the memory. Herschel grasped onto the handle of the crutch, grounding himself, “We were running from a group that day. We had plans in place to get everyone out safely but Cielo got separated somehow. Not sure if the gunfire was too close and she veered off to avoid it,” Shep clasped his hands together, knuckles white, “or if she couldn’t keep up. Only she would know but she doesn’t remember anything of that day.”

“None of it?” Shep’s raspy tone asked, trying to hold himself together at the idea of someone shooting at his little angel.

“No,” Rick was the one to answer this time, slightly slouching over, as if the weight of the day was still there. “When she woke up the next day she didn’t know where we were or why…”

Watery eyes filled the majority of the group, remembering how pitiful she looked laying in that bed, whimpering at every movement. Shep wasn’t any different. His face was reddening from withholding the emotions he was feeling. “What happened?”

“We don’t know,” Glenn answered, staring at the ground haunted at the memory, “all I know is that I wish we regrouped faster than what we did. When we got there...”

“She said he kept hitting and kicking her,” Daryl gruffly announced. “How he wanted to know where we were.” The man clenched tighter to the small body in his arms. Eyes blazing into the air, focused on an imaginary being. “She was back there. That he was still chasing her,” the gruff voice trembled a bit at the end, “she said we needed to hide so he couldn’t find us.”

“So she remembers?” Shep cautiously asked, unsure if he wanted her to remember being beaten harshly. Cielo was the little sun in his world after his own children. For someone to be so callous. So cold hearted. It was boiling Shep’s blood.

“We won’t know till she wakes up.” Herschel whispered, his words heard in the silent room. Shep nodded, trying to grasp the fact the winter wasn’t the easiest time for this group as it was for him and his heart clenched. He was curled up by a fireplace with his wife last winter, safe within the walls that was Woodbury, and his only granddaughter could have been beaten to death outside those walls. Guilt weighed heavily on him.

“We should have gone faster to Atlanta, then we would have caught up with Emilia and Cielo,” Shep’s voice was thick with emotion, “they both would have…”

He couldn’t finish the sentence, the clasped hands quickly supporting his head, hiding the falling tears that he couldn’t keep in. Carl frowned at the older man. “They never went to Atlanta.”

Every head turned towards Carl, including an incredulous Shep. Carl looked around the room, “Cielo said they were going to Alabama because her grandparents would never leave their house.”

“Shep ain’t in Alabama,” Merle muttered, jaw ticking at hearing what happened over winter. “He’s clearly here.”

“I’m going to strangle that boy!” Shep roared, banging a fist on the table. The sound startled everyone and Rick moved over to Carl, hiding his son from the older man’s view. Shep laughed darkly. “He knew, he knew we wouldn’t leave that house.” 

Rick calmed down seeing that Shep didn’t mean his son and took his hand off the gun, not realizing the automatic reflex until he was moving his hand away. Daryl quickly peered at the small girl in his arms to see she was still asleep before looking over at the seething man. “What ya mean?”

“Don’t know why I listened to him,” Shep chuckled darkly, “didn’t want to be a father so why would he care where Emilia would go with the girl.” Shep turned to look at Daryl, “My wife and I left that house because of her and he knew it would work.”

“Well, ain’t he a peach.” Merle muttered darkly. “No offense Shep, but that boy of yers never rubbed me the right way. Gone and went out for some stupid shit that got his leg broken and where is he now?”

Shep’s pale face was reddening by the second. “Leg healed up about a week ago. Went off with some of the others. Told him to go. Better chance of him surviving without looking for me every second of the day.” Shep tapped his knuckles against the table, “Poor Emilia lost her life coming our way for nothing.” He shook his head and grunted as he stood, limping over to Daryl, motioning for Cielo. “She’ll be bunking with me tonight.” 

Daryl’s lips thinned but didn’t argue with Cielo’s grandfather. He loosened his arms around her and cradled the tiny head, helping the elderly man move her into his arms. Cielo stirred, golden eyes blinking open in confusion, gripping tighter onto Daryl’s leather vest. 

“No,” she mumbled sleepily, disoriented. 

“C’mon, Cielo,” Shep whispered to her calmly, “let’s go to bed.”

“No,” she pulled herself tighter into Daryl’s arms, resting her head against his neck, “aqui.”

“Daryl isn’t your bed, sweetheart. You gotta let go.” Shep rubbed her back, trying to soothe her to come along.

“I’ll carry her over,” Daryl offered, feeling the grip she had on his leather jacket. Shep shook his head, “No, it's fine. She’s just never been easy to move once she got comfy in someone’s arms.”

“Cielo-” Shep tried again but the girl growled, wrapping her arms around Daryl’s neck.

“No, quiero Papi.” She mumbled sleepily.

Shep and Daryl froze. 

“Your daddy isn’t here, honey,” Shep was confused. She never wanted her father before so why is she suddenly asking for him. 

Merle laughed bitterly, “She ain’t talkin’ bout that boy of yers. She ain’t his fan.” Merle ignored the confused look on Shep’s face. Instead, he got up, slapping his knees, “I’m gonna hit the hay. Looks like tomorrow is going to be a shitty day.”

Shep frowned at Merle’s choice of words but looked at the anxious man holding his granddaughter. Daryl followed his brother quickly, not liking to be scrutinized, “I’ll put her in her bed.” The words were mumbled so low and quick that Shep hardly caught onto what was said. Daryl was already behind Merle up the stairs, heart beating wildly in his chest.

“Told ya she called ya daddy.” Merle teased, glancing at the exhausted girl. Daryl didn’t have the strength to put all he felt into the glare he shot Merle. Instead, he walked over to the small room the girl claimed as hers. He pulled back the blanket and laid her down, working gently to unlatch her arms from his neck. Cielo was stirring again and he shushed her-mind racing on what to do-but the girl settled down with a sigh. Untying her shoes, he pulled them off before pulling up the blanket, staring at the wisp of a girl.

He went to leave the room when the small quiver resting against the bed caught his eye.

* * *

I felt something tickle my nose and I let out a displeased growl, swatting the top of my nose, trying to get rid of what it was. Settling my hand back under my chin, I tried going back to sleep but the tickling was back, I swatted one more time before groggily opening my eyes. Everything looked a bit blurry before I focused on Merle smirking down at me. “C’mon Bambi,” he pulled away the feather tipped arrow and placed it back into the quiver, “time for breakfast.”

“No,” I whined, turning back into the bed, feeling so drained, “tired.”

“Yer Lemon Shark is waiting downstairs,” he sounded so sarcastic saying that but it didn’t really register to me at the moment. I curled my arms around the pillow and dragged it closer to me. I wanted to sleep. 

“Just yank that sheet off her!” Grandpa's order echoed. Merle did just that and I reached around trying to pull it back up, feeling the cool October air hit my body. I glared over at Merle, who was holding onto the blanket with a smirk. I sat up, rubbing my face, not ready to face the day.

“I’m tired…” I mumbled to Merle, who finally threw the blanket on my bed. Merle didn’t say anything other than analyze my face, trying to figure something out.

“Cielo,” I rubbed my eyes, understanding the seriousness if he wasn’t calling me Bambi. “Can ya tell me why ya ain’t mad at me for tanning yer hide?”

I sighed, stretching my body, “You wanted to find Daryl and thought it would scare me to tell you where he was. All my cousins were boys till Lili was born so I got hit quite a bit by accident, so you ‘tanning my hide’ wasn’t scary. I was just mad you did when you did ‘cause it did hurt but it isn’t as bad as before.” I rubbed my eyes again, feeling the need to curl back to sleep. “Plus, I already knew you and Daryl had a bad dad, so you probably got the same kind of tanning at home.”

Merle was quiet, taking in what I said. I drowsily looked at the stoic man and raised my arms out to him. “Can you carry me downstairs? I’m still sleepy and I don’t know why I-” the yawn seemed to have won him over.

I rested my head on his shoulder as he carried me downstairs. “Well, I’ll be.” Grandpa’s amusement didn’t escape me. I couldn’t believe he agreed either but I’m not gonna say a word about it. Merle walked past the man and into the common area where there were plates screeching against the metal utensils. He tapped my back and I turned my head as he was setting me down on a seat. “Thank you, Merle.” 

Droopy eyed, I checked the plate next to me to see we were eating pancakes. That was not an item we had on hand. Looks like the Woodbury people brought the good stuff. “Still out of it?” 

I glanced up to see Carl cutting a piece off with his fork. Nodding, I went to stand up and get my plate but one was set in front of me as someone took a seat next to me. A shiny head was my clue and I leaned into his arm. “Alright there, Cielo?”

I focused on the other friendly old man sitting at the table. “Tired.”

Herschel’s forehead creased with worry. “Do you remember last night?”

I thought back to yesterday and remembered running off, thinking the bad man was after me, worrying everyone again. I bit my lip wondering to lie and say that I didn’t. That way no one could ask questions. Or say I did and just deal with it. Peering back at Herschel I shook my head. Probably best they think I’m in the dark.

I pretended to have not seen the shared look he gave over my head and reached for the fork, copying Carl. Breaking off the circular fluff that I haven’t seen for over a year now. I glanced at Carl’s plate to see there wasn’t any syrup on his. 

Small victories, I guess.

“Cielo!” A high-pitched giggle reached my ears and I tensed up. 

Warily, I looked over my shoulder to see Mika from yesterday. She was grinning widely, showing off a missing tooth of her own, small deck of cards in her hands. “Dad gave me some cards so we can play Go Fish.”

Help me now.

“Sorry, Mika, looks like you’re gonna have to wait. Cielo woke up not feeling good today,” Grandpa informed her. 

Her excited face dulled, “Oh?”

“Later, promise,” Grandpa smiled at Mika apologetically. Mika nodded, glancing at me once more with furrowed brows before walking over to where the other Woodbury residents were.

Relieved, I looked up at Grandpa to see he was faking a smile for me, “Do you remember Mika and Lizzie from yesterday?”

I narrowed my eyes on him, “She’s not touching my hair.”

A genuine laugh escaped Grandpa there. He ran a hand over my hair, nodding, “She isn’t touching your hair.” He motioned to the pancake, silently saying to keep eating and I did. I kept pulling on the sleeve of the blue sweater I changed into yesterday, anxious to get out. Being stuck inside was making my skin crawl and I wasn’t sure why.

“You might need to cut it, though,” Carl lifted a long strand of hair into my view. I pulled the strand out of his hand.

“I’ll cut mine when you cut yours,” I bargained, knowing it’s going to be a while before he would. His hair was starting to curl a bit at the ends, something I noticed he inherited from Rick. He glowered over at me in response before stabbing the piece of pancake I just sliced off.

“Carl Grimes!” Echoed throughout the room, which suddenly became silent from the sounds of utensils, eyes turning to see what was going on. “That was my pancake and you ate all of yours already!”

Low chuckles and a little bit of tittering followed my comment, everyone feeling a bit more at ease, conversations a bit louder than before. Grandpa sliced a piece of his and placed it on mine, “Here you go Tiger Shark, no need to pitch a fit.”

“Hmph,” was the only reply I gave him as I glared at the smug teen. A gentle hand ran their fingers through my hair and I glanced up to see Carol smile at me.

“Carl picking on you?”

“As usual,” I sighed, leaning into her stomach behind me. A squeak left my lips as I felt the jab to my side immediately. “See!”

Everyone at the table laughed except for me and Carl, who had a staring match in progress. Hands went back into my hair and I felt Carol’s nimble fingers starting to braid them. Feeling her fingers playing through my hair had me relaxing into her again. 

“I have to ask Shep,” Herschel turned to Grandpa, “why ‘Tiger Shark’?”

I heard the smile in Grandpa’s response, “We were watching a documentary of sharks on National Geographic-” Carl snorted and I jabbed him in response this time, “-and it was saying how Tiger Sharks are curious things but people don’t realize how aggressive they really are. Second to the Great White it said.”

“Sounds about right,” Herschel sent a smile my way, “won’t know till it hits you.”

“Yet here y’all call her ‘Bambi’ like she’s this toothless little thing that wouldn’t hurt a fly,” Grandpa flatly replied, eyeing us with amusement. I looked down at my plate, the memory of my teeth biting into Merle’s arm came fresh to my mind. I probably should check on it.

“She just batted those pretty eyes at us and we fell for it,” Carol said as she finished braiding. More aware of what was going on around me, I realized that there weren’t many people in the room with us.

“Where’s the others?” I kept scanning, trying to see if I missed them. Even Merle was gone and he was the one to bring me here.

“They’re gonna hold a meeting.” Carl piled the empty plates together, out of habit over the months. “Look for the Governor, make sure he won’t be coming back, plans on how to run things here, stuff like that.”

Before I said anything, Carol jumped in, “You and the other kids are going to be with Beth and Ms. McLeod.”

I blinked owlishly at her. “You’re going to pile me with a bunch of other kids?”

“You're going to be fine. You went to daycare when your Abuela and Ma went to work, right?” Grandpa raised an inquisitive brow, knowing very well that I did go to a daycare.

“Didn’t like it then, don’t like it now.” I pouted.

“You’ll live, off you get,” was the ever loving response from Grandpa. I sighed dramatically and got up.

“C’mon Carl,” I tipped the teens hat as I turned to leave.

“Nope,” Carl gleefully told me. I turned to see him smugly smirking at me, hat back in it’s normal position. Carol shared a look with the other two adults and I knew exactly what that meant.

“What?” I hissed, turning to the three adults, “how come I have to stay with the other kids and Carl can go?”

“Because you are seven and are a little kid.” Carl gloated, not seeing the looks he was getting from the other three. They might be debating on having him join me as well if he kept it up. 

I hope they will.

I glared at Carl, “Did we not talk about this yesterday? We’re kids but we’re not kids.”

“Rick is okay with Carl being there when we talk about what to do regarding the Governor, among other things. I am not okay with you being there so as your Mami isn’t here to make decisions, I’m making them, as your only relative.” Grandpa stressed to me. 

My mouth twisted into a frown, not happy with what I’m being told, stomping off back to my room.

* * *

I tossed the pair of cards into the pile, stuck playing Go Fish with not just Mika and Lizzie, but the other two kids from Woodbury. Luke was okay. Luke had these wavy brown locks that looked like they would curl and dimpled cheeks. He was overly energetic and easily excitable. A bit much for my liking but not too bad. He was only seven like me, which started an overly excited one sided conversation of how happy there was another seven year old that Ms. McLeod had wrangled to a halt. He acted how I would guess a normal seven year old would be acting. 

Not like me.

Molly was the other kid from Woodbury who was quiet and serene. The complete opposite of Luke. Her hair was what I wished mine would be like. Not a single frizz in her blonde wavy hair. If I hadn’t been observing her for a bit, I would have thought that she was purposely taking her time in doing what she wanted to aggravate others, when in reality she just did things with care. Her cards looked evenly spaced, she spoke softly, and when she put down the pairs she did so with care.

Mika was a mix of Luke and Molly but Lizzie....

I looked at the older girl, seeing her smile constantly was a bit unnerving. The only time the smile left her face was when Beth scolded her for attempting to play with my hair after Carol braided it. Ms. McLeod told Beth it wasn’t a big deal but Beth was there when I told Lizzie I didn’t like people touching my hair. Lizzie was ignoring what I said about my hair and tried anyway the next day. I definitely was not a fan of Lizzie Samuels.

“I got none!” Luke shouted, jumping up with a wide grin. Molly and Mika both sighed, disappointed at the loss. I sighed in relief as Lizzie congratulated Luke, collecting the cards for another game. I stood up, trying to get away from the next round.

“I’m going to lay my head down. I’ll watch the next round.” I smiled at them, brushing off the back of my pants.

Mika's concerned gaze shifted over to me, “Still not feeling good?”

“No, my head is hurting more.” I played along with the excuse Grandpa gave earlier, walking over to Beth who was sitting next to Ms. McLeod, both staring at Judith. I pulled a chair over to both of the women, who noticed I pulled away from the group, and curled up in the oversized chair. 

“Why are you over here? Looks like a new round of Go Fish is going to start.” Ms. McLeod’s soft spoken tone reminded me of a teacher. Patient.

“Head hurts,” I kept it simple. Something I learned from Daryl. The fewer words you use the less likely you’re going to be asked questions. I leaned my head onto the armrest of the large chair, closing my eyes, pretending that I was trying to alleviate the pain. I would rather be doing the dishes in the kitchen than be trapped here with the kids from Woodbury. They were too…

Normal.

It’s like walkers never existed in their world. Everything was the same to them except all of our favorite shows and foods were gone. Maybe being in Woodbury kept them as innocent as what the others wanted for Carl and me. No kid needed to learn how to shoot to kill someone in case of emergencies. A kid never had to worry about a group of people they had never seen before because it was safer. 

I wrapped an arm around my belly, the memory of the hard kick landing on me immediately came to mind. The blooming pain from it being a vivid memory that I don’t think would leave me now. A memory that I hoped would never fully come back. One that would stay locked away. It was terrifying everytime a piece of the memory came back. 

Best to stop thinking about it. 

I don’t want to remember.

I heard them call out numbers with the occasional ‘go fish’. Judith’s gurgling coos was encouraged by Ms. McLeod, who was in awe of there being a baby in this new world. It was frustrating waiting for someone to let us know that the conversation was over. To learn how we would try to find the crazy man who gunned down his own people and abandoned the rest.

* * *

Everyone was flooding out of cell block D except those that took residence there. Decision was made for Daryl, Merle, and Michonne to track down the deranged man. Michonne volunteered to do so while Daryl and Merle were the only two trackers in the entire building to narrow down the search. Daryl was surprised at the lackluster reply Merle had the entire meeting.

He expected Merle to rib Rick when he took advantage of everyone gathered here to mention about forming a council. For each group to pick someone that they believe would represent them well. He nominated a few from his group for their part of the council and told them that they could give their choices to Herschel, omitting himself completely. Daryl couldn’t stop shifting from the uncharacteristic quietness from his brother. Carol, who stood next to him, noticed how uncomfortable the younger hunter was.

Both waited at the end of the meeting to tackle the issue at hand. Carol turned to talk to Daryl but he had gone off to where Merle was walking in a fog out of Block D. Carol hung back to see what it was. The others had already walked by, willing to give the newest members of the prison the space to themselves. Daryl blocked Merle’s path, eyes darting to the few stragglers passing them. “Man, what’s with ya?”

Merle stopped in time to not run into Daryl but he wasn’t happy to be bothered. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong. Just thinking is all.” 

Merle walked past Daryl with a deeper scowl on his face than usual. Clearly what was on the man’s mind bothered him enough to prefer his own company than aggravate someone’s life. Daryl followed after Merle, talking low so no one else could hear them, “If it’s about the Governor ya need to-”

“It ain’t about that asswipe,” Merle whirled around, staring down Daryl for a good minute. Daryl didn’t back down from the stare Merle gave him, “Then what?”

Carol watched both Dixon brothers from the corner, seeing them so wrapped up in their battle of wills they didn’t notice her just a few feet away. Both were similar and different in so many ways. Neither man liked others getting into their world. Pushed them away with a biting word or blood curling stare. Had a set of principles. Kept to themselves but would do their best for those they cared for. Yet one would be overly aggressive where the other would rather distance himself. One would purposely raise your blood pressure and the other would leave things be. Right now, both were being bullheaded and refusing to give in to the other.

“We can stand here all day if you want,” Daryl gruffly told Merle, “but whenever you get in your head, ya do somethin’ stupid.”

Merle looked off to the side, jaw ticking in annoyance, “It’s about Bambi.”

Daryl did his best not to gawk at Merle, not expecting that. “What about her?”

Merle sighed heavily and ran a hand over his shaved head, “Remember how ya said she wasn’t mad at me about tanning her hide?” Merle looked at Daryl, who nodded silently, letting Merle say his peace. “I asked her this morning why she wasn’t 'n ya know what she said?”

Merle turned his back to the wall, glaring at the one in front of him, “That she knew I just wanted to find ya. How I thought it would scare her. How it didn’t hurt now like ‘before’.” Merle glowered, grinding his teeth at the word. His ice cold eyes turned to Daryl, “That our old man gave us the same tanning at home, so it wasn’t some big deal.”

Daryl shifted uncomfortably, unsure of what to tell Merle. He felt a mix of emotions hearing what Cielo told him. He felt proud knowing that she understood Merle just wanted to be with his only family yet angry at how Merle did so. Angry at how she was okay with him hitting her hard enough to leave a painful bruise yet crushed that she rationalized it wasn’t as bad as what their old  man had done. 

Ultimately, he was sad that she was okay with being hurt.

“How she goes and just says she’s used to getting hit…” The frustration was clear in Merle. 

Daryl snapped over at Merle with suspicious eyes, “Hell ya mean used to getting hit?”

Merle snorted, “All her cousins were boys till some other squirt came along. Used to them hitting her on accident. Not sure if they were or not.”

Daryl frowned not liking the idea of it being on purpose. Both men tensed up at the disembodied croon. Similar eyes locked onto the graceful figure walking their way with a smile. “She got under your skin, Merle?”

Merle scowled at Carol, “Ain’t nobody get under my skin.”

Carol's soft smile didn’t waver, “I think you got attached to our little Bambi.”

“Just don’t like how the little Squirt was kicked and tossed about. It ain’t right. Feel bad for her is all.” He huffed, pushing off the wall he unknowingly leaned on.

“Bad enough you carried her to the table for breakfast?” Carol couldn’t help but tease the burly man. Daryl turned to look at Merle, shocked once more at the uncharacteristic behavior from his own brother. Merle didn’t give an answer to the question. 

He gave Carol the trademark glare that would normally freeze a man in their tracks but it didn’t faze her. She knew she had ruffled his feathers as he walked the rest of the way out of Block D’s area. She turned the coy grin to the younger Dixon who cleared his throat.

“Gonna go on watch,” he turned to follow Merle.

“Thought Maggie was going to watch first?” Carol taunted. Daryl said nothing as he rounded the corner, ears turning red.

* * *

I felt someone’s entire slip underneath my body, slowly raising me up, cradling me to their chest. Blinking my eyes open slowly, I rubbed my face into the shoulder that my head was resting against. “Hmm?” was the intelligent response I had in regards to being picked up.

“Shh,” Merle’s raspy voice reached my ears. “Yer fine.”

Tiredly, my eyes opened fully to see Merle, “Did I fall asleep?”

“Yeah, out like a light.” He answered, walking towards the door. I looked over his shoulder to wave at the other’s goodbye, somewhat startled by the look Lizzie was shooting Merle.

“Bye, guys…” I muttered out to them all the same, confused at Lizzie’s reaction. 

Her cold dismissive gaze locked onto the man that carried me out.

But maybe I'm seeing things wrong...


	36. I'm Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the weekly update, I finally managed to push through the chapter I was stuck on for two weeks, so looks like I am back on schedule.
> 
> Thank you for the comments and kudos, they give me an idea of where you all are as readers as well, so thank you!

The transition for both our group and Woodbury didn't take long to get used to one another. A council was formed and no one had any complaints that most of the members on it were from our group. It's still weird to think we are technically one large group of thirty-some people. Towards the middle of November, Daryl found a smaller group of people and brought them back here. One of them was a mechanic, which definitely helped out in maintaining the cars we had. What he knew he twisted to help by keeping some of the pipes in the boiler room functional.

With the additional help, the prison got cleared out, which meant I had my library. Everyone had a task to keep things running smoothly but me and the other kids. We were given school work by Ms. McLeod and Beth, which I breezed through. Luke begged me to help him with division, which I did, but he kept goofing off. I left after the third time he wanted to talk about what show I missed the most and how he missed watching some show called Digimon that he found. Not gonna lie, the show did sound pretty cool, but I would rather read a book than be stuck helping someone who obviously didn't want real help with math.

With December around the corner, I wanted to make a gift since I wasn't let outside. Not the outside that I wanted. I wanted to walk between the trees, tracking deer or rabbits with Daryl, listening to birds chirping above me. Smell the pine trees trapped in the morning dew. Being in the courtyard wasn't the same. I still felt trapped but it wasn't as bad as trying to stay inside.

I sighed, reading the process it took to make soap. This is sounding like a huge project that I know I wouldn't be allowed to do by myself. There is a big note with a hazard sign with one of the main ingredients needed to make the soap. Even if I was able to, the easiest and fastest way was the hot process which no one will let me go near a fire and the cold one required electricity. 

Huffing, I slammed the book a little too hard than what was necessary. That caught Carol's attention with a raised brow, "Everything okay over there?"

I looked over to see Carol was collecting a set of books for storytime. Most parents were happy to have us go to listen to Carol read some kid book but I stayed out of it really. Said to the others I would read my own books, which seemed to amuse Michonne some when I said that, but no one argued. Not even Grandpa had a good argument of why I had to listen to some book about a pigeon wanting a puppy, a book clearly from Woodbury. If that book was an original book found in prison, I think it would be some form of torture, not entertainment. Looking at Carol, she seemed to pull five from the bookshelves already. 

I sank in the chair with disappointment. "Just trying to find something I can make without having to go out since I'm not allowed to go past the fences."

Per Grandpa…

"Oh?" Her curiosity had her putting down her books and picking up mine. "You planned on making soap?" She sounded impressed.

"It's a project to do and something useful at the same time. It's just that I need lye and it says it's carrosive? Corrosive?" I struggled with the word I've never seen before. 

"You got it, corrosive, it means it'll eat away at something." Carol encouraged, reading through the book. "You actually understand what it's telling you?"

Surprised that making soap could be that dangerous, I looked at the book warily. "I get the gist of it but I know no one is going to let me near any kind of fire to do the hot process. Book says it's the fastest way to make the soap and know if it was done right."

She peered at me over the book, "Why do you even want to make soap?"

"Keeps me busy, a good excuse to stay away from Lizzie and the others and Christmas presents." I listed my reasons, ignoring the look she sent my way when I mentioned that I was avoiding the other kids.

"It's been almost two months and you still are avoiding them?"

"They're too normal," I wrinkled my nose, "except I really don't like Lizzie. She wants to do things her way and doesn't listen to what others say."

Her baby blues sparkled at me, "Your Grandpa said you always had trouble making friends with girls. Are you sure it's not because things aren't going  _ your _ way?"

I scowled at Carol, "If I say don't touch my hair, I mean don't touch my hair. If I say I don't like doing something, I don't like doing it. Lizzie ignores everything I say when it comes to how I feel. Plus, she always insults Merle and I don’t like it." My eyes squinted at the pixie-haired woman. "And when did Grandpa tell you that?"

Carol knelt down, hand grabbing mine in hers, "Lizzie is wrong in ignoring how you feel but you also have to try to be nice to her too. Merle is also an adult. If he isn’t worried about Lizzie then you shouldn’t either." I puffed up at the idea of having to be nice to Lizzie. I don't like her.

She pulled her hand away as if sensing my disagreement, grabbing her pile again, "Your Grandpa tells us a lot of stuff about you when you're not around. Like when you scared your mom riding with the neighbor on the ATV?"

I smiled at the memory of Mami running off Grandpa's porch, yelling at me to get off before moaning at how dirty I had gotten with mud. "She acted like I was the one driving it."

Carol softly smiled and gently clipped my chin with her finger. "Be nice to Lizzie, she lost her mom to walkers too." With that, she walked off. 

I narrowed my eyes at her as she left. Just because we both lost our moms to walkers doesn't mean I'll like her. I don't like how she's naming the walkers that still had the energy to make it to the fence. Soon they would all be frozen and we can stop that dumb idea.

* * *

Slipping on the gloves, I walked out the door, biting cold air immediately hitting my face. I raised up the scarf, hiding half my face behind the yellow scarf that was brought back from a run on the chance the crazy Governor comes back during winter. Michonne was out there now still looking for him even with the cold winter months closing in.

Walking to the benches that were out here, I sat down, staring at the skeleton trees beyond the fence. I curled in to keep myself as warm as possible, watching the sunset through them. It had to be close to or be December now. There hasn't been any snow yet surprisingly but I take it that it means that when we do get snow, it's going to be brutal. With a larger group that meant more people to go for runs and more successful finds of food to hold us over winter. So while it's going to be a harsh winter it is going to be a better winter than the last for some of us. 

A gloved hand tried to ruffle my hair through the yellow beanie on my head. “Whatcha doing out here?”

Glancing up, I saw Daryl and Merle both coming back from checking on the snares they placed in the woods. A quick once over told me that there was nothing to catch for the day. Looking up at the peppered beard Merle was letting grow I shrugged, not sure what to say. “I like it better out here than in there. Being inside doesn’t feel right lately.”

I turned my attention back to the purple-pink sunset. The creaking of the metal bench was my clue that neither man went inside. “What ya mean?”

I leaned into the larger man, feeling the warmth radiating off of him. “I hate being inside. It’s been almost two months feeling like I need to be outside. I don’t know if it’s because Grandpa wants me to be friends with the kids from Woodbury or if I just feel trapped.”

Merle and Daryl were the only two to really try and understand what I was trying to say. Carl was being entrusted to do more tasks of simple runs or even assisting with the walkers in the tombs to keep it from being overrun. He wasn’t around as much and when he was, he poked fun at me about playing Go Fish with the other kids.

“You're talking like you ain’t a kid yourself,” Daryl observed, coming around the side of the bench, now in view.

“They’re too normal,” I frowned, “to them, it’s like none of this is a big deal. It’s just a game. They don’t worry about the same stuff Carl and I would worry about. Food, ammo, if walkers were around the corner. They’re just worried about the homework Ms. McLeod gives them and if they have to eat green peas.”

Merle snorted, seeing what I meant. “Green peas are the worst,” he mocked, lightly pushing on me. I smiled up at Merle, liking how he had lightened up overall, especially towards the rest of the group. I didn’t see him purposely bait Glenn anymore for the sheer fun of it. He only does so when someone says a dumb comment. He still had a temper, there was no escaping that.

“Tell your Grandpa that?” Daryl asked, lifting one foot on the lower bench, orange poncho back to haunt us. 

I shook my head, “No,” I mumbled sadly, “he says it's to make sure I’m safe and I get that but these are  _ our _ woods. He took away the knife and gun you both gave me, how is that keeping me safe? Every time I tell Grandpa I’ll be okay or go with someone he just says no. He is stubborn.”

“I’m surprised ya haven’t tried to make a run for it,” Merle chuckled as I hit his leg.

“Well,” I batted my eyes at Merle, “if someone would forget to put the clips holding the gate so high up with a pretty knife, then maybe I can.”

Daryl and Merle both laughed. Daryl’s was nearly quiet compared to Merle who was nearly in stitches. Merle’s left hand reached out and poked my cheek, “Haven’t seen that in a while.” I just pouted at Merle who shook his head, chortling, “Oh, no, yer Lemon Shark hates my guts. I ain’t giving him any other reason.”

“Try saying less cuss words and maybe he’ll like you more,” I stuck my tongue out. 

“Pfft,” Merle rolled his eyes, “that is just the surface, Bambi.”

“I’ll talk with him,” Daryl chimed in. I looked over at my favorite hunter with a smile, eyes shining brightly.

“Really?” 

He nodded and I lunged for him, latching my arms around his neck easily from the height the benches gave me. He caught me quickly, grunting at the unexpected force and weight I came with, worried that I would slip and fall. “You’re the best Daryl!” I gave him a kiss on the cheek in my excitement.

“Aww, where is my kiss?” Merle teased, grinning mischievously at Daryl, whose cheeks were flushing red. 

“Where’s my chocolate, Uncle Merle?” I chirped back, brow raised.

“Hold on,” Merle clapped his knee, “he says he’ll talk to yer Lemon Shark and I gotta find ya chocolate?”

I rested my cheek against the beard covered cheek Daryl had, a mischievous gleam of my own. “He’s doing me a huge favor by talking to my Lemon Shark about letting me out of the cage. What did you do for me?”

“Tit for tat, this one,” Merle uttered in disbelief. Daryl let out an inaudible chortle that I only heard and felt against his chest. It wasn’t really anything new. Glenn brought me and Carl some canned soda and a new comic just two weeks ago. The whole tit for tat is normal to me. 

Daryl settled me back on the ground. “Let’s head in,” Daryl suggested pushing me ahead. I stuffed my hands in my grey coat, walking back to our block. “Freezing my balls off out here,” Daryl muttered quietly. Seeing as Merle uttered a quiet agreement after the near silent announcement, it made me think I wasn’t supposed to hear that last part. 

“Heard that,” I told them, grinning. I didn’t need to look behind me to know that they were likely horrified. Or at least Daryl. He was more reserved than Merle was. 

“Walk faster, Bambi,” Merle growled out.

I giggled at the unusually embarrassed Dixon and shrieked when I heard a loud boot thud behind me in response, bolting. I reached the door to our block as the door pushed open, a worried and cautious Glenn sticking his head out as Rick looked over his shoulder. Both men let out the tension from their shoulders as they saw me grinning with two Dixon’s somewhere behind me. I heard the click of the safety go back on.

“Cielo,” Grandpa’s scolding started before I even came in. Wincing, I waited by the door, looking over at Daryl for help. He seemed to understand what my eyes were begging for as he brushed a knuckle lightly over my cheek, walking before me. I followed him, wanting to grasp his hand but I started to pull off the gloves I slid on earlier. I snuck a peek at Grandpa’s face and saw him sternly looking down at me.

“What were you doing out there this late? Not only is it cold but we thought that you were being attacked with that scream.” 

I looked up at Daryl, waiting for him to help me out, but Grandpa cut in. “Don’t look at Daryl. I’m talking to you.”

“Lay off her, old man, ya treating her like she’s an actual prisoner in here,” Merle growled out, biting off the glove on his lone hand. 

Grandpa glared at Merle, pointing at me, “I’m making sure she is saf-”

“You’re caging her in. Takin’ away the weapons to protect herself, that ain’t keepin’ her safe,” Daryl cut him off, accent thickening with every word. “She knows how to handle a walker. She can shoot it with a gun or stab it in the head. Taught her how to track game, skin, and gut it.” My stomach flipped at that unfortunate detail. “She ain’t like them kids from Woodbury ya kept locked up behind some walls. Ya just tryin’ to make her like them other kids but she ain’t them.”

“She’s my kin,” Grandpa’s own countryside shining through, deeper than Merle's and Daryl's combined. “Y’all only known her for a hot minute. I ain’t gonna lose her to some psycho after y’all nearly lost her last year.” Everyone winced and tensed at the reminder, the few Woodbury who was visiting looking on to the argument lost. “So I don’t care if she can take down a twelve-point buck, if I say she's staying in these walls, then she’s staying in these walls! You ain’t her daddy, boy, no matter what she says or thinks.”

I saw the small twitch of Daryl’s fingers, the only tell that Grandpa got him where it hurts. Looking at his face the only emotion was in Daryl’s eyes, blazing with cold fury, face neutral. Grandpa was returning the same intensity to Daryl, refusing to back down, his age betraying the strength in him. No one else was daring to get in the middle of the argument, either because they didn’t want to be dragged into it, or saw both points of view.

“Course I think he’s a better dad…” I decided to say something, even if it was a hushed whisper to the ground. I saw Grandpa turned to look at me from the corner of my eye, clearly done with this conversation but I ignored it. “Daryl’s kept me safe and always looked after me. He actually talks to me and teaches me things I need to know. He taught me the rules of three and that was something that saved me once already.” I omitted the fact that’s how I ran into Merle and his merry band of friends. A quick memory of a scowling Daryl holding up two pairs of shoes at me had a small smile form on my face. “He even makes sure I have shoes that don’t hurt my feet.” 

I looked up at Grandpa, “That’s a whole lot more than my real dad. He wanted me gone before I was even born.” I turned towards the cell door to go to my room, ignoring the startled look he had. “I looked up what an abortion meant,” I spat behind me.

I closed the cell door behind me, not wanting anyone to follow me, ripping off the scarf from my neck. I waited for the usual tick of pain in my chest to come but nothing did. I think the last day I really felt anything was when I read the definition in the dictionary. I couldn’t eat much that night and cried into the pillow before the others went to bed. I don't get why someone would hate their own kid. Mami said some people just don't want kids and don't want anything to do with them. But she wanted me and other people love me so that's all that mattered.

I guess finally knowing the definition had to have been the final nail to the coffin as the saying goes. 

I sighed, pulling on the curtained sheet, not realizing I already made it up the stairs to my little room. I unzipped the jacket and placed it behind the only chair in my room, pulling the beanie off and throwing it on the seat. I stared at the yellow beanie briefly before kicking off my shoes into a corner and laying in bed. 

I know Grandpa wants to keep me safe but if it means keeping me locked in here, I'm basically doing what this building was meant for, to keep a prisoner in her cell. 

I was fiddling with Toothless's little arm when I heard soft footsteps outside the room, breaking me out of my daze. I stayed put, not really wanting any company, wanting to be left alone. "Cielo," Maggie’s voice came from the other side of the sheet, "dinner is ready. It's lentil soup. Better than our usual squirrel." She tried enticing me to come out on my own.

"Not hungry," I sighed. I really wasn't. Normally, I would be at a table waiting for Carol or Lisa, a Woodbury original, to finish up the cooking. Guess my stomach was in more knots about it than I thought even if I didn't feel upset about it. Lentil soup did sound good.

She was quiet and I heard her feet shuffling, "Honey," she started but I finished it.

"Really not hungry. It'll be a waste of food. Give it to someone else."

She was there a bit longer, waiting for me to say something else or change my mind before walking off without another word. I pulled the sheets over my head. I had nothing to do. The woods were off-limits even with everything freezing up out there. Apparently the courtyard was now officially off limits too. I'm stuck here doing easy math problems and simple writing lessons. I learned better from reading some of the books in the library and looking it up in the dictionary. 

Sighing, I pushed the blanket off my head as sleep wasn't going to come my way anytime soon. I looked at the bunk above me filled with books I pulled out to read. Might as well start one of them before the pile keeps growing. I was still holding out for the second part of the Lion, Witch, and Wardrobe series but the prison didn’t seem to care for Mr. Lewis himself apparently. I pulled myself up the ladder and sat at the edge, perusing the titles of the books, trying to remember what they were even about. I picked one of the random books on top and read the title. 

I guess I'll be reading Anne Frank's book. 

Before I cracked the book open, my curtain was ripped open, annoyed blue eyes focused on me. "Eat," was all Carl said. He lifted the bowl my way, the soup suddenly looking unappetizing from this angle. 

I guess Lisa was cooking today.

"Carl, you can eat it. My stomach isn't-" 

He put the bowl in front of my face, alarmed as some of the steaming soup nearly spilled out, "Eat."

I put down the book and grabbed the bowl, waiting for him to leave. He crossed his arms and sat on my chair. I rolled my eyes as I set down the hot bowl. "You can't make me eat if I'm not hungry, Carl. I told Maggie it was a waste of food."

"I don't care if you're mad at your Grandpa. What matters is that you eat because if we all have to start running tomorrow, you'll be starving until we do get to eat," Carl pointed at the bowl once more, indicating that I start eating. 

I blinked in surprise, "Look at you using logic. Didn't think you had a brain under that hat."

He gave me an exasperated look and I sighed, reaching for the spoon, "Fine, but don't expect me to eat all of it. My stomach really doesn't feel good."

"You're sick?" He asked worriedly, realizing maybe it wasn’t just the fact I am upset about Grandpa. That there was more to it. 

"No," I whispered, "I think I'm just really upset and my stomach feels weird."

His lips thinned out in worry but watched as I attempted the first bite anyway. I ate as much as I could, enjoying the break from dried squirrels before I gave the bowl less than half-full back to Carl. "No more or I'll throw up," I warned.

He took the bowl from me, eyes focused on the spoon. "Your Grandpa means well but Daryl’s right when he says he is treating you like the kids from Woodbury. You aren't weak like them. You're stronger than what he thinks you are."

He didn't say anything else but walked past the sheet that he ripped to the side before. 

* * *

The cabinet door ripped open and a large hand pulled me out. A yelp escaped me as the man tossed me to the floor throwing me into another body. I looked up to see who and screamed when I saw the walkers rotting face in front of mine, teeth bared inches from my nose. I backed away, kicking at the walker as I backed myself into the cabinet I was just hiding in. Looking back, I stared wide-eyed at the dead body that I was thrown against, the man's hands curled into a permanent claw-like position. I looked up tearfully at the man who was grinning down at me.

“There you are.” He waved the dirty knife at me. “Don’t worry, it’s really more for them-” He kicked the decaying man, “-than for you.” I blinked up in response. 

“Where’s your group?”

I shook my head and felt my lips wobble in response, silently begging the man to leave me alone. He sighed, kneeling down to be closer eye to eye level with me as I curled myself around Terry, clutching onto Abuela’s beads. He took a look at both the rosary and toy, scoffing. He reached for the beads and pulled them out of my hands harshly, beads plinking around the floor as he snapped the string holding it all together. “See,” he glared, “no one is coming for you.” He leaned closer, running a dirty blade over my cheek, not pushing down. “Not even God.”

Crying, I clasped my hands together, “Please.” I sobbed, begging him with tearful eyes. The smell from the blood-stained knife stung my nose repeatedly from how close the trail he left on my cheek. The man’s eyes danced with amusement as I tried to edge away from him.

He laughed. “Girl, all I care about is where the others are. You tell me that and we're golden.” He pulled away the blade. His eyes switched. They were as cold as the knife he had on my face. Emotionless. Dull. As if this was a normal day for him and he was tired of dealing with it.

I cried, shaking my head, hands still clasped. “Please, leave me alone. I don't know where they are. I got lost.” I sobbed out, hoping that he would leave me alone. 

He sighed, tilting his head at me, "I think that's a lie. I don't like liars."

“Please, don’t hurt me.” I pleaded again, desperately hoping that Daryl would track me down already. 

How Glenn and Maggie would come into the building, guns pointed at the man... 

How Rick would hold the machete to his back, forcing him to leave me alone...

How T-Dog would knock him over the head with the butt of his rifle...

The man rolled his eyes.

“Don’t hurt me.” He mocked, leaning back on his heels, “Is that what your mom told you to do? Tell people to not hurt you?” He laughed, shaking his head, eyes never leaving me, his stinking breath hitting my face. “No,” he pointed the knife at me again, “she should have ended you the second this world went to shit.’

He got up and gestured around the destroyed daycare, “Because look at you now.” I stayed silent, watching him, hiding my face behind Terry as if it would protect me from the bad man. He didn’t look happy with me being quiet. Scowling, he leaned forward and ripped Terry from my arms before I had a chance to blink. 

“No!” I shouted, reaching for Terry but the man kicked me back down, wiping his blade on Terry’s tail. 

He looked at my triceratops before laughing. “I can do whatever,” his knife tore into Terry’s face, “I want and no one can stop me.” I heard another small item drop to the floor as he tossed Terry to me. I gripped onto the stuffed toy, looking at his face, realizing the item I heard drop was Terry’s other eye. Sniffing, I ran a finger over the new missing eye knowing that it could have been worse, and clutched him tightly to my chest this time, not wanting to have him taken from me again. I looked over the man’s shoulder, hoping to see someone to come for me, to see nothing but a sticker of a smiley face stare back on the wall.

The man looked over his shoulder and I made another run for it, not wanting to stay put. The bad man cursed, chasing after me, and I dived under a bookshelf that he would have to crawl under to get to me. “Get back here!” The man shouted at me.

* * *

"No!" I screamed, pushing away the arm that was wrapping around me.

"Cielo!" 

I froze, recognizing the voice, and looked up at terrified green eyes. Looking over her shoulder I saw everyone else piling by my door, Merle and Daryl right over Maggie's shoulder, Rick and the others outside the door. My small room is illuminated by a lantern that Maggie must have brought. Soft crying from Judith reaches my ears, the sound ringing through the cells, Beth’s answering coos to soothe the infant following the loud noise. A soft hand brushed my cheek, cold air lightly stinging my wet cheek. I listened to the pounding of my heart, willing it to calm down as I looked at the silver ring on my thumb.

"I'm okay," I whispered to them.

"Ya ain't okay," Daryl's voice raspy from sleep, "quit sayin' that."

I didn't say another word and wiped my other cheek, sitting upright. Maggie tugged on the hand I was focused on, "Wanna talk about it?"

I shook my head. If I talk about it then who knows what can of worms will get opened up. I looked over at Terry who was laying against the wall with Toothless next to him. I reached out and rubbed at the eye that was cut off from him. My finger trailed down to Terry’s blood-stained tail, now knowing it wasn’t just Dale’s blood covering it, but the walkers that I was tossed into. I noticed Maggie from the corner of my eye watching what I was doing but said nothing more.

Guess I finally figured out why Terry didn't help like before...

"I'll sleep here with her tonight," Carl's tone was firm, daring somebody to say something about it, "maybe she'll sleep better."

"That's just dramatic," I told Carl tiredly, "Herschel said it comes whenever it wants. Sleep in your room." Judith’s cries were calming to a displeased coo.

"Sweetheart," Carol's head peered over Daryl’s shoulder, "you were crying and asking for them to leave you alone. Carl is just worried."

"I'll be fine," I shouted, startling Maggie who was sitting next to me, "it was just a stupid memory. I'll get over it! I'm not a baby!"

Maggie went to say something but I stopped her. "I hate it when you all say that I'm a kid so it's okay to be upset, but when I say what's  _ really _ bothering me, no one listens to what I'm even saying. I hate being stuck in here. I hate that I can't even go out the courtyard. I hate that I can't even climb a tree outside the fences. If the Governor was out there we could see him and Michonne wouldn't have to be going so far out to find him. I can make friends with who I want to be friends with, not who you want me to be friends with. Stop treating me like a stupid baby!"

I took a deep breath, anger filling me, "I get it, I got hurt. He kicked me. He hit me. And he stabbed me. I remember how everything felt the day after. I just don't remember how. Stop wrapping me up in some kind of bubble. Just give me back my gun and knife and I’ll be fine. This new world is absolute shit! I just have to learn how to deal with it."

I jumped out of the bed and tried to run past everyone, wanting my space, but Daryl caught me before I even went past Maggie. I went to kick at his knee but he quickly flipped me sideways, one arm pinning my knees and the other holding me by my back. I wiggled around, trying to get out of his grasp, but Daryl just tightened his grip. Growling, I glared up at the tired electric blue holding onto me, “Put me down.”

“Careful,” Merle warned, “she can land a bite that way.”

“She ain’t gonna bite me.” Daryl informed him before turning to look at my enraged face, softly saying, “Ain’t that right?”

I felt myself slowly deflate as Daryl kept his weary eyes on mine. His eyes seemed to be begging me for something. I wasn’t sure. Or maybe they were just disappointed. Disappointed at how I reacted. How I blamed them for something they couldn’t help me with. How I accused him of not caring... 

I’m an idiot. 

Daryl is the first person here-other than Grandpa-to always make sure I was okay.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled to Daryl, feeling like an absolute dolt, “you tried to help me earlier today. I’m just angry and...and...” I wasn’t sure what else I was feeling. Anger was the easiest to pick out.

“I know,” Daryl shuffled me in his arms, righting me upside up. I grasped the thick sweater he wore to bed, looking at the grey wool, ashamed to look him in the eye right now. I leaned my head towards him, his cheekbone brushing the top of my head. 

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled again, feeling like one wasn’t good enough, “I was being a-”

“Cielo,” Grandpa stopped me from saying anything else. I wrapped my arms around Daryl’s neck, turning to look at him, cheek to cheek with Daryl. The close contact might have made Daryl feel uncomfortable but, right now, this was comforting to me. If Daryl was going to say anything about it, he would have, especially now that Grandpa is here. The others outside the cell gave him the room to be able to stand in the tiny cell. Grandpa took one look at me and sighed, “Give the man some space to breathe, Tiger Shark.”

I pulled my face away, clutching tighter to the prickly sweater he wore instead. I always felt safer here. That wasn’t going to change anytime soon. Grandpa scrutinized Daryl a good minute before looking over at me, “While I don’t like the language coming out of your mouth, I know you heard worse from Merle’s mouth.” I bit the inside of my cheek as Merle cussed behind me under his breath. It really isn’t that far fetched to say I heard a lot of bad words from Merle.

He scanned my face, “You really that unhappy, huh?”

“I’ll burn those cards if Mika asks me to play Go Fish one more time,” the disdain I felt over those cards was made clear.

“You and your need to burn things,” Grandpa muttered more to himself than me. Sighing, Grandpa scratched his chin, taking another look at me. "Stabbed, huh?"

I tensed up, unsure where he was going with it, "That's what I'm guessing happened to my leg."

It really was hard to miss a puckered scar after the good month and a half it took to heal. Then again, it's not like Grandpa took me swimming at the beach in the last few months. He would have seen it if I wore a bathing suit. He turned that scrutinizing look towards me this time and I wanted to tug on the tag on Daryl’s sweater but I wasn't sure why he was analyzing me like some bug under a microscope. "Guessing?"

"Kinda hard to miss the scar on my leg or the stitches it needed," the sass left my mouth before I could filter my words. I flinched, internally yelling at myself, the flick to the cheek unexpected but not completely surprising. 

"Cheeky," Merle warned. 

It's been a while since I got a flick to the cheek. I sighed quietly in defeat, "Can we go back to sleep and deal with it in the morning? Redo this whole...thing..." I wasn't sure if it was still night or morning.

"No," Grandpa answered, "we're dealing with it now."

"I'm not in the mood to deal with it," I hissed under my breath. The poke to my side had me jerking with a yelp. Wide-eyed, I turned to the face next to mine that was scowling at me. I pouted and he shook his head.

"Don't matter if yer in the mood to deal with it. We're doing it now." Daryl stated, his eyes telling me there was no bargaining or discussion to be had about it.

"You're so…" Maggie twirled a finger at me, "prickly?"

"I just remembered him finding me hiding in the cabinet before throwing me at a walkers body," Daryl's arms tensed, "being told I can't be outside where that’s all I want to be, and over babied. Am I not supposed to be 'prickly'?"

Another flick.

Growling, I turned to Merle, "I will bi-"

I was suddenly flipped upside down, heart rising to my throat at the unexpected movement. Or was it sinking?

"Daryl!"

"C'mon," he started walking out the cell, me dangling upside down, "walk it off."

He put me right side up and put me down by the stairs. I looked at him, confused to where I was to walk it off. "Up and down, let's go," he motioned to the stairs. I glanced at the stairs before looking back at Daryl. He didn't budge. He just crossed his arms and stood by the railing along the catwalk. "Walk," he commanded.

Huffing, I did what he asked, knowing that he wasn't going to budge from his decision. As I kept moving back and forth, some went back to bed, figuring the decision would be told to them come morning. Others, like Herschel who needed the stairs I was currently occupying, stayed upstairs. Merle was leaning over a railing, watching my strange punishment, Grandpa standing by him doing the same silently watching.

By the sixteenth time I had to come up, I was nearly out of breath, but my legs were starting to burn. Maybe this wasn't a strange punishment after all. It was a slow-acting punishment. I used the railing to help pull me up by the twentieth time I was going up the stairs, panting, burning legs, and red-faced.

"Good?"

I nodded, stopping at the top of the stairs, saving any energy I had left to breathe in the cool air. 'Good' wasn't exactly what I would say that was. That was more along the lines of physical torture. 

Daryl gently pushed me back to my room, thankful my legs managed to walk just fine underneath me. "When ya Grandpa gonna talk, yer gonna listen, understood?”

I sat on my bed, walking by Herschel who was holding onto the yellow beanie on my chair, both Dixon’s and Grandpa back in my cell with me. Grandpa let out an impressed grunt, “Got the steam out of her for now.”

I fell over, leaning my head onto my pillow, the dim lighting low enough for me to doze off. “Don’t think ya gonna sleep,” Daryl warned, his tone firm enough to let me know he wasn’t in the mood to be dealing with me.

“‘M not,” I wheezed out, fingers itching to grab the blanket and do exactly that.

“Best get on with it, she will be out faster than a hot knife through butter,” Grandpa muttered, Herschel chuckled immediately after. I put my hand under my pillow, focusing on Grandpa, my body relaxing after climbing those stairs. Grandpa might be right on that one.

“Cielo, hun, listen,” Grandpa sat on the bed, patting my leg, “I just want you to be safe. I don’t want anything worse than what’s already happened to you to happen again. Maybe next time you won’t be as lucky.” He brushed his hand over the crown of my head, loving eyes shining brightly through the dim lighting.

“You're all I got, Tiger Shark,” Grandpa whispered. 

“When I got hurt I was sweet as honey,” I yawned, “now I’m what’s under it.”

“Under the honey?” Grandpa was confused, unsure if he heard me right through the yawn. He looked at the other men wondering, wondering if they knew. My eyes were heavy again but I forced them open, not wanting to be a liar. I told Daryl I wasn’t going to sleep until this was resolved. When I forced my eyes open I saw both Dixon’s shaking their heads to let him know they didn’t know what I meant either. Herschel’s frowning face said he did.

“The quote she told me when Tyreese first got in the prison,” Herschel solemnly told them, “Deadly poisons are concealed under sweet honey.”

My eyes were shutting closed before they fluttered open again, I sat up, refusing to sleep this quick. I rubbed my eyes, missing the uneasy looks Herschel shared with them. “The hell she get that from?” Merle asked Herschel.

Herschel sighed heavily as if he aged another ten years in that second, “She read a book not long after the incident that had the quote in it. She really chewed on what that quote meant but after the Governor, she might not be too far off. People really do their best to appear-or sound- sweet as honey until they mean to do harm.”

Grandpa turned to look at me, “Cielo, you aren’t-”

“Grandpa,” my voice came out as exhausted as I felt, “just because I look like a seven year old doesn’t mean I think like one and you know it. Lizzie is twelve and I feel like  _ she _ thinks like a seven year old.”

He was quiet for a moment as I leaned into his shoulder, “Reckon you're right.” I felt him slowly push me back to my pillow, “Get some sleep.”

“Thought ya were-” Merle was as confused as I felt, but sleep was stronger. Someone must have given him a look because he stopped just as fast as he started. I didn’t fight the battle I was having against the sandman. I pulled the pillow towards me with a contented sigh as the blanket was placed over my shoulder.

“Love you,” I told the men over my shoulder drowsily.

“Love you, too, Tiger Shark.”


	37. Christmas Presents!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is Chapter 37 on a Thursday.
> 
> Eta was a hurricane when work got cancelled and here I am after Tropical Storm Eta changed her mind last second once more before touching Florida.
> 
> This chapter was a bit fun to write when I did, hope you all enjoy it and have a good week!
> 
> PS.  
> My advice, buy Christmas gifts now, don't wait till Black Friday because you'll never have money come December if you do.

So far it has taken a whole week for Grandpa to think over what he wanted to do without a decision in sight. During that week, he had Mika tell the others that I was on time out, so I couldn’t play. The others thankfully reeled in the need to treat me like I was breakable china. Michonne was back, staying for the next few weeks as the weather was getting harder and still not finding signs of the Governor. The biggest shift that I enjoyed from the group was from Carol. While Grandpa let me go back out the courtyard, Carol had given me my knife and gun back before letting me out the gates. 

To say I was surprised was an understatement but I took my thirty minutes and handed over the unused weapons at the end of the day. She was quite straightforward about it. Tell no one and if I was caught, I was on my own. The only response I was able to give her was a wolfish grin as I checked the magazine of the gun. 

If anyone noticed how calm I was, they made no mention of it. The most suspicious thing I’ve done was ask Julio, the mechanic Daryl found on a run if he had thin wires and an extra plier. Maggie was quick to ask me what I was doing with them and I just told her I was doing a project. She wanted to ask what but when she saw me wrapping a wire around a pebble I had in my pocket for a while, she left it be.

The truth was I finally was able to start making my Christmas gifts. I followed the small river along the prison and found these pretty blue stones that I thought were ice. I grabbed one and went straight to the library to see if there was a book about stones and there was. Turns out Georgia had mines where you can get pretty gems and I was just lucky to find barite. It was too big to make as a necklace and used a bigger rock to break it into smaller pieces. It made a decent gift for at least four people.

I was on my way back from my trip outside when I noticed both Dixon’s with Rick by the benches, that they purposely moved in my direction, staring like hawks. I walked along the fence, feeling their stares burning a large hole in my little body, eyeing the gate nervously. I acted as if I didn’t see them, hurrying in opening the clasp on the gate and shutting it behind me. I started speeding towards the building when a sharp whistle sounded off.

Ensuring that the knife and gun were well hidden by my coat, I turned on the balls of my feet, marching to the three men. Seeing all three so close together made the similarities between the men stand out a bit. All three were practical with what they wore especially since Daryl suddenly stopped wearing the poncho. Both Dixon’s found leather jackets to wear for the winter and Rick had a sleek wool coat. All three had their beards but Merle kept his hair short, opting for a winter hat instead. Jeans and a good pair of boots. Not a pair of gloves among them.

I stood in front of my judge, jury, and executioner awaiting my trial. My eyes jumped from one stern face to the other, wondering who would be the first to break. Rick was the first to say something after a tense minute. 

“How you get out the gate?”

“Climbed up a bit, I did grow,” I shrugged.

“Bullshit,” Merle spat, eyes narrowing on me. I just blinked up in response.

“I can climb it if you wanna see,” I kept to my lie. Rick just nodded, mouth twisting just a smidge, clearly not believing a word out of my mouth. My eyes roamed across the three men, wondering who would say something next. 

"You went out there without a knife or gun?" Rick questioned again.

"I got my slingshot," I pulled out the mentioned item. 

"So you don't have your gun or knife?" Rick persisted.

I scrutinized Rick, "Are you telling me you lost my gun and knife? I thought you guys hid it so no one else would find it!"

Merle scoffed, moving towards me, "Arms up."

"Seriously?" I was in disbelief. 

"One thing ya said to yer Grandpa was ya look seven but up here," he tapped his head, "ya ain't, and that's something I've been saying for months, so arms up."

Glaring, I raised my arms as Merle patted each side separately, pulling out the gun that was hidden in my waistband and the knife from my belt. He handed each item to Daryl, who was watching silently the entire time. 

Rick shifted his weight to the side, "You can keep to a lie, I'll give you that."

I knew it wasn't a praise so I kept my mouth shut. Knowing that I was caught red-handed, I tilted my head at them, "Tell Grandpa?"

"No," Merle answered me, disappointment clear on his face, "but we should."

Anxiously, I peaked at Daryl, who was silently twirling my knife in his hand, not looking at me. That made me a whole lot more nervous than when he yelled at me. A quiet Daryl was never a good thing. Rick seemed to catch my look at Daryl, something he had to learn by being a cop. 

"Don't you worry," Rick sniffed, not sure if it was from the cold or a habit he did when he was making a point, "he'll get to you later."

That sent shivers down my spine. 

Daryl definitely was the executioner. 

Before anyone said anything, a high-pitched voice that grated on my nerves sounded off behind me. "You found her?"

I whirled around, staring unimpressed at the cheerful girl with rosy cheeks. “How did you know I was gone?”

She pouted at me, “Well, I saw you on the other side of the fence, so I got Rick.”

Fury filled me, dumbstruck at what I just heard. "Wait, you told them?"

Lizzie stood there smiling tranquilly at me, "I didn't want you to get hurt."

Growling, I was about to take a step forward before I felt a harsh tug at the hood of my jacket. I looked over my shoulder to see Daryl frowning down at me wordlessly. Huffing, the cloud of air showing everyone exactly how aggravated I was, I looked back at Lizzie. That was an utter lie and I knew it. She's been telling the others the walkers were our friends, we just had to be careful. If walkers were our friends then what danger was I in?

"Thank you for watching out for her, Lizzie," Rick praised her, grating on my nerves further, "Cielo has a knack for getting into trouble."

"Of course," she sweetly replied, pupils unnaturally wide.

"Best ya go back to Ryan," Merle told her. Lizzie looked at him, her posture shifting slightly.

"Dad's busy right now," she countered. 

"Que te vayas," I growled, repeating Merle in a less polite way. Lizzie just looked at me confused.

"What did that mean?"

Merle stepped in again, walking towards Lizzie, "C'mon, Buttercup, best you-"

He reached out to guide her towards the building but she smacked his hand away. “Don’t touch me!”

The action surprised not just Merle but the rest of us. I didn’t realize I tried taking another step forward until the collar of the jacket dug into my neck a little. Lizzie just turned pleading eyes to Merle, "Sorry, but last time I was by you I started itching bad. Not sure if you walked in something that I'm allergic to but I don't want to chance it."

"Merle isn't contagious," the thought came out of my mouth, the anger laced with each word. She didn’t have to hit him. 

"I know," Lizzie frowned at me, the second time I've seen the smile leave.

I looked closer at the older girl, trying to remember all the times she's interacted with Merle. The only things that kept coming to mind is how she avoided him like the plague, sending Mika or Molly to come near Merle instead, asking for the pelts. Even her dad didn't avoid Merle, asking the man questions regarding safety, runs, or any successful snares or traps. 

She definitely wasn’t scared of him. She’s had no problem ignoring Merle when he came over to check up on me. When he did that, she never shied away from him or kept an eye about the distance she had from him. She just looked at him like he was gum under her shoe.

"And it's winter," I continued, the picture starting to form in my head, "anything that could have made you itch is gone."

Lizzie turned her head at me, smiling, "Yeah, but I'm sensitive to a lot of things, so I have to be careful. I'm sure you understand, right?"

I grinned back, "Oh, I think so."

"Bye!"

With that, Lizzie was running off back to the other kids who were now outside under Beth’s eye. I tilted my head, staring at the back of her tan coat, thinking.

"Bambi?"

I looked up at Merle, wondering what he needed, seeing him staring at me warily. "Hmm?"

"Ya think so?" He repeated.

I furrowed my brows, shrugging, "I think I get it."

"Huh…" he didn't believe me.

I rolled my eyes and stuffed my hands in my pocket. Gasping, I pulled out the empty coat's pocket, "I'll be back!"

I ran towards the gate and unclipped it before they could stop me. I was shutting it close when they caught up, Daryl glaring down at me as he reached the fence, "Back in here, now."

"I dropped something, I'll be back, promise!" I ran off in the direction I came from. 

If I wasn’t in trouble with him before, I definitely was now.

* * *

I pouted, glancing at the wrist that Rick handcuffed me to Carl. This was not what I was expecting coming back from the woods. It was overkill but they explained it off to Grandpa that I snuck into the tombs, which earned me a highly displeased scowl. In a way, I kind of wished they just said that I snuck outside. Then again, telling him I could get into just as much danger inside the building might lean him closer to letting me go out.

So it might work out for me...

Carl, on the other hand, was highly irritating, which I felt was the second part of my punishment. He was smugly looking at me once in a while with a snide comment that I was ready to wipe off his face. Just when I was about to reach my limit, Mika was walking by with her plate. 

"Mika!" I shouted, startling her a bit. When she saw me wave her over, she smiled. I returned the smile and leaned towards her as much as I could. 

Her eyes quickly focused on my wrist chained to Carl, "Wow," the breathless word left her mouth, "you really are on time out."

I sighed heavyhearted, nodding, "Yeah, just got another week of time out. It’s rough."

Carl snorted, not saying a word as he took a bite of food. Mika frowned, "Playing games isn't the same without you playing with us."

I bit my lip, feeling slightly guilty that Mika and the others felt like that. I kinda feel bad but I really don’t like Lizzie.

"Maybe when my time out ends we can. Hey, I'm just wondering," I twirled a curl in my finger, "is Lizzie easily allergic to something? She told Merle she is really sensitive to some stuff."

Mika shook her head and I felt the annoyance grow in me once again, "No, she doesn't have any, don’t know why she said that."

I sighed, "Don't worry about it, she probably has her reasons. Go eat, the food will get cold and that tastes disgusting cold, trust me."

She nodded, unsure about what just happened but did so anyway. I turned back to my plate and stabbed the piece of beef. Carl raised a brow, "Okay?"

"I will be, just annoyed," I kept my answer simple, chewing on the tough piece of jerky. Carl analyzed me a bit more before going back to his plate. We both ate silently as we waited for the others to get their plates after waiting in line. There was some unspoken rule that kids and the elderly go first. Everyone one else goes after. I heard Daryl mention to the others that as long as there is enough to go around, no one would argue. Grandpa was the first to join us, placing his plate down and sitting tenderly, letting out a painful groan. 

"You okay, Grandpa?" I worriedly looked him over from my spot, trying to see where the pain was. Between being cuffed to Carl and the table, I couldn’t get a good look at his feet or legs. It has to be the bad leg.

"Just my leg,” he confirmed. “Cold days like this make all my bones hurt but my leg is a whole other level," he sighed as he settled himself in. I reached over with my unchained hand and grabbed Grandpa’s hand.

"I'm sorry, Grandpa," I didn't know what else to say. He was hurting and nothing could be done about it. I looked in his eyes, unsure if it was a sensitive topic or not, "How did you hurt your leg? You never said."

He smiled softly at me, eyes crinkling, "Just your Grandpa thinking he was younger than what he really is. Knee popped out but it didn’t exactly go back in the right way." I frowned, knowing that wasn’t the full story and I knew he would never say. 

At least not to me. 

His eyes drifted to the metal chain connecting me to the younger Grimes, "If you're really sorry you would stop making me worry about your shenanigans, you little heathen." 

"I need to keep you on your toes, " I joked, sighing dramatically, "it's the only way I know to keep you young."

He grinned back at me before it slipped off. Feeling the mood switch, I sat back down, watching his face for any signs of what he was thinking. Grandpa was extremely calm, not a tense muscle insight, shoulders relaxed. I tilted my head to the side, wondering if the head movement will have a reaction. 

"I think I'm going to let you go out those gates," I gasped excitedly, lunging forward before my arm was held back, wrist burning at the metal chafing at my skin, a disgruntled Carl glaring at me as he was pulled with me.

"Sorry!" I squeaked, wrapping my arms around Carl's apologetically, crushing his own arm towards him. 

"Quit moving!" He adjusted his arm so it wasn't as painful. I did as he asked, biting my lip to hide the smile growing on my face. 

Karma for all those snide comments Grimes.

"Is there a reason these two are cuffed together?" Tyreese’s concern was heard behind us. I looked over to see both Sasha and Tyreese eyeing the pair of cuffs strangely. Carl and I looked at each other, last time we interacted with these two we locked them in a separate cell block before Rick lost it. Grandpa was quicker on responding.

Grandpa snorted, "I have a heathen for a granddaughter. She's cuffed to him to keep her out of trouble."

Oh, sweet, sweet Grandpa. 

Carl has to be the last person I should be cuffed to if that's what you think.

Carl was thinking the same thing as I saw the small smirk quirk up from the corner of his lips. Sasha looked at me head to toe, disbelieving what she was hearing, “I know kids can be trouble but she’s what, five? How much trouble can she be?”

Carl and Grandpa burst out laughing at my facial expression, feeling my cheeks burning at the indignation and embarrassment. I glared at Sasha, “I know I’m small but I’m going to be eight in a few months, thank you very much!”

This time Sasha was embarrassed and Tyreese chuckled at his sister's blunder. She looked at her brother for some help but he shook his head. Sasha took another look at me, “You’re so small!”

As if that was a defense.

Red-faced and filled with mirth, Grandpa decided to save Sasha, “Thank you for the laugh, Sasha,” I eyed Grandpa from the corner of my eye, “but that tiny thing is more trouble than she looks.”

Glenn and Michonne were coming from behind Tyreese and Sasha, just receiving their own plates. Glenn took one look at my face and grinned, “Haven’t seen you this red before.”

I turned my glare to Glenn and he straightened up, grin fading, “Don’t push it, Rhee.”

“You spent too much time with Daryl and Merle, you got the look down,” he shivered, setting down his plate. 

Michonne’s mouth quirked up, “Someone is in a mood.”

“Someone was just told she was five,” I retorted. Michonne nodded, seeming to understand what I was going through, but the woman was tall herself. I didn’t hold it against her. I just took after Mami more than I thought I would. I was just hoping to get some height from my father. Otherwise, I was going to be surrounded by giants.

Glenn looked over at the Williams, “Sleep with one eye open.”

Tyreese shook his head, taking a seat at our table, Sasha following his decision, “She’s seven. I would be worried if she was a teenager.”

“That would be your first mistake.”

“You’ll learn.”

Both Michonne and Glenn told the gentle giant. Ignoring Tyreese’s baffled look, I looked at Glenn, “And Maggie?”

“She’s on watch. Carol will bring her a plate after everyone got a plate.”

I nodded at the reply and looked back at Grandpa, “So I’m free to go out?” Desperate to get the stipulations of my freedom.

“With supervision,” He pointed his fork at me, starting to eat his cooling plate.

“Deal,” I grinned.

* * *

Grinning, I pushed the last leather cord through the third hoop I made with the wire and started braiding the leather cords together. Christmas was sometime around the corner and I finally managed to collect a gift for everyone I cared for. I was proud of the bracelets and necklaces that I had made. 

I knew it drove Merle and Daryl insane when they took me along to check on the traps demanding to go to a specific area away from the prison. They didn’t understand why I was picking up random stones but I also didn’t let them take a good look at the small gemstones I found. I didn’t want them figuring out what I was doing. The book was specific about where specific gemstones would be found and I wanted to have a variety. But being the amazing people they were, they dealt with it by testing my sense of direction, even if it meant Merle had colorful words to say about the whole thing.

Since the snow has finally arrived and picked up full speed, all the runs the group has done has us set for the next two months, especially if we stick to our two meals a day. No one had to leave the prison walls other than to stretch their legs for pleasure. Everyone has been given a week to take a break from the hard work they’ve done and later tonight, we were able to hand out presents, keeping to the tradition of Christmas if we wanted to.

Eyeing the bracelet I made for Carol for any imperfections after finishing the braid, I grabbed the others from under my pillow. I was excited to finally be able to hand these out. It took a lot of practicing with regular stones to not just wrap the brass wire around the precious stones but some needed to be polished a bit. Taking another look at them, I put all the necklaces around my neck, hiding them under the hoodie. The bracelets in the large pocket.

I left my room and headed towards the common room, where everyone was huddled for warmth, large terracottas were turned into heaters. It was efficient to keep everyone warm at the same time and to build more comradery amongst the two groups. Herschel was right about it helping both groups get along. I glanced at one of the random terracottas and sighed. To me they looked like flower pots but Beth had a vision on how she would decorate her dream home and they involved terracottas, so don’t dare say a flower pot to her. 

She was scary in her own way...

I rolled up the sleeves on the oversized hoodie and narrowed in on where Daryl and Grandpa were conversing quietly in a corner with Herschel. I smiled at the sight, happy that both men seemed to have come to some kind of agreement with one another. I had no idea what their agreement held but they seemed to have found a balance when it comes to me. I have a feeling Herschel had more to do with that shift than if it was just between Daryl and Grandpa. Grandpa realized what Daryl had to teach me would help me survive in this new world in the long run. That meant Daryl and Merle taught me more tricks of the trade and will keep working on my sense of direction. Grandpa just stuck with philosophical teachings. He seemed to prefer Socrates.

Grandpa still wasn’t a fan of Merle though. I don’t think even Herschel would be able to help there. Really makes one wonder what Merle did for Grandpa to hold a grudge.

I planted myself next to Herschel, giving him a hug, “Hi, Herschel, been a minute since I saw you.”

Herschel chuckled, “That it has. You’ve been quite the busy bee.” 

I hummed in agreement, leaning against the older man’s arm. A loud obnoxious cough completely ended our brief conversation. I looked over at Grandpa, knowing the sound came from him, “Yes, Grandpa?”

“What are we? Chopped liver?” He gestured between himself and Daryl, the spark in his eyes telling me he was teasing.

I wrinkled my nose, pretending to think, “Well, I don’t like liver, so seems like it.”

Daryl grinned, shaking his head, not wanting to get in the middle of our banter. He seemed to enjoy listening to them more than if he was pulled into one. I think even after all this time with everyone, knowing he could trust us with his life, he still was embarrassed about some things.

My hair was flipped over in front of me, “Seriously?” I pulled away, pushing my hair back, glaring up at a grinning Merle, “You pick on me too much.”

He let out a low laugh, “Ya too easy to rile up, Bambi.”

“One day, Merle,” I warned him and he scoffed at me, taking the spot next to me.

“I’ve been waiting.”

“Patience, Merle, I will get you when you aren’t looking, it has to be perfect,” I huffed, leaning into Herschel again. Glancing up Glenn and Maggie weren’t far behind him, finding the extra space by Grandpa and Daryl.

I looked over my shoulder to see Carl holding onto Judith, who was finally able to sit up on one's lap, listening to what Sasha was saying. Rick was by them talking to Tyreese and Karen, likely about plans to put into effect when spring comes around the corner. I looked around some more, wondering where Michonne and Carol were but the two women may be on watch. Merle’s rumbling laugh made me realize I had tuned out a conversation amongst the adults looking for everyone else. I focused on what the conversation was about but didn’t get far.

“Herschel!”

We all turned around to see Ryan coming over with Lizzie, who was scratching at the back of her neck, skin covered in red patches all over that the eye could see. Others heard Ryan’s panicked shout, turning to see what had the usually calm man worried. One look at Lizzie made everyone understand his worry but that started another wave of panic.

“Is that chickenpox?” A woman asked quietly, but it was heard in the silent common room, scattered whispers spreading throughout the room immediately after that. 

“No one panic,” Herschel’s voice boomed as he grabbed his crutches, making the effort to go over to Ryan, but the worried father was already in front of us. Merle wrapped his leather clothed arm around my waist and pulled me into his lap, away from the older Samuels daughter, eyeing the splotches on her skin suspiciously. 

I patted Merle’s arm comfortingly, surprised to not feel the metal brace underneath his jacket. I watched as Herschel inspected Lizzie, unafraid if it was chickenpox. Or perhaps he was able to tell the difference as a medical professional. Everyone waited with bated breath as they watched him inspect the itching girl. Herschel nodded, agreeing with what came to mind, “Definitely not chickenpox. Looks more like a rash to me.”

The announcement had sent a wave of relief amongst the group. Ryan seemed to be relieved the most, “Thank God, here I was thinking she got it and spread it to the other kids,” he took a deep breath collecting himself, “since it isn’t chicken pox, what is it?”

Herschel frowned at that. “Unfortunately, I’m not sure what it could be. Maybe an allergic reaction?”

“Lizzie says she’s sensitive to stuff,” I told Herschel, eyeing the older girl as she attempted to scratch through her sweater, “maybe it was the new soap for laundry?”

“Lizzie isn’t sensitive or allergic to anything,” Ryan turned to his daughter confused, “why did you say that you were, Lizzie?”

Satisfaction curled within me watching her trying to wiggle herself out of this one. Seeing all eyes were on her, after exposing the lie she told before, she started crying. “It’s really itchy, dad!” She turned her tearful eyes to Herschel, “Is there anything to make it stop?”

“I’m afraid nothing more than a wash can be done. Avoid scratching in the meantime. I can check the infirmary to double-check but I believe we don’t have any ointments to help relieve the itch,” Herschel sadly told Lizzie, the girl’s bottom lip wobbling at the news. 

We do but I moved them behind the alcohol bottles.

“But it’s really itchy,” she whined, about to scratch her arm once more till Ryan stopped her. Lizzie pulled away from Ryan, “There has to be something!”

Everyone watched on as the usually cheerful child suddenly started screaming, upset that Herschel couldn’t do much to help. Her eyes sharpened on Herschel, “You have to do something! You’re a doctor. Doctors have to heal people! What good are you if you can’t?”

Herschel was frozen on his crutches, staring at the young girl who was just crying. I tensed up at her attacking Herschel. The man knew exactly what he was talking about. He may not be a doctor for people but he was all we got and the best at that.

Lizzie froze herself, seeming to realize what she had done. The satisfaction that was curling through me turned to joy. Everyone is starting to see a glimpse of the real Lizzie Samuels. 

“Lizzie!” Ryan shouted at her, “Say you’re sorry to Herschel!”

The anger that twisted her face earlier softened as she looked up at Herschel. “I’m sorry, I just really want the itching to stop, it’s really bad.”

“It’s okay Lizzie,” I told her, “we understand.”

Lizzie looked over at me, smiling back at me, thinking I was in her corner. Ryan apologized to Herschel himself as he dragged Lizzie away, leaning down to likely scold her. I watched from my seat as Lizzie was taken away, leaning into Merle’s chest, twirling the curl that reached my elbows. 

“Bambi,” Merle’s suspicious tone warning me, “did ya have anything to do with that?”

I looked up to see him eyeing me like I was ready to attack him. I gave him the best doe eyes possible, “Do with what?”

Herschel took his seat once more, listening to our conversation. I saw his sagely eyes scrutinizing me himself, understanding Merle’s line of thought. I didn’t dare try to see what Daryl’s or Grandpa’s looked like if I tried to see from the corner of my eye. Merle reached for the strand of hair I was twirling in my hand, pulling gently, “Lizzie.”

“Merle,” I rolled my eyes, “I don’t have magic powers to make people itchy at command.”

“Oh, God, she did it,” Glenn moaned. I glared over at Glenn who was rubbing his temples, finally catching a glimpse at the two men I didn’t want to see. Grandpa had his head in his hand and the only thing I could see of Daryl’s eyes were coldly assessing me. 

“Why are you-”

“Giving them big doe eyes was a big give away,” Maggie interrupted me. She had a hand running through Glenn’s hair as if trying to help the forming headache.

I turned back at Merle, pretending to be offended, “Should I even ask what you think?”

Merle didn’t even have a chance to answer me. The disbelieving glance Merle shot me was answer enough but Grandpa stepped in, calm before the storm, “Cielo Valentina, what in seven hells did you do?”

I gaped at Grandpa, “You cussed!” 

“Girl,” Grandpa was stern, “what did you do?”

“Noth-”

“Don’t you lie to me,” his steel gaze had me reaching for Merle’s hand behind me, making his arm fully wrap around me. I heard a huff of amusement from Merle as I did so but he didn’t get it.

Grandpa was really mad.

Grandpa lifted a fist and started counting reasons, “For one, you said that she had an allergy or a sensitivity but clearly she didn't. Something tells me you knew that. Two, how did you know that there was new soap for laundry? That tells me you took advantage of laundry day to put whatever has that poor girl itching. And thirdly, I know for a fact you don’t like Lizzie Samuels.”

I bit my lip and looked away, past Herschel's shoulder, knowing that Grandpa had me cornered. I saw Merle’s covered head move into the corner of my eye, “And there’s that phrase of ya understanding. Last time I heard that phrase it was Lizzie who said that to ya. This time ya told her.”

I kept quiet and looked down at Merle’s large hand, studying it, tilting his hand palm up. It was silent amongst our little group. Heavy footsteps came towards us and I recognized the voice right away to be Rick, “What’s going on? I look over and everyone was fine and the next you're all upset. Something happened?”

“Cielo was the reason Lizzie broke out in a rash,” Glenn announced. 

“How she  **understood** Lizzie,” Merle added, emphasizing the keyword.

I didn’t need to look up at the new pair of eyes that were now looking my way full of disappointment and disbelief. “She did what?”

“Now,” Herschel held out a hand, stopping the men, “knowing Cielo, she never does something without reason. Even you have to know that Shep,” Herschel met Grandpa with a stare of his own. I looked away from Merle’s hand in time for Herschel to look at me with a soft smile.

“Dad, what she did wasn’t right,” Maggie argued. I kept biting at my lip, keeping quiet, back to tracing the lines on Merle’s hand.

“Nah,” Daryl finally spoke, “she did it for a reason. She ain’t going to do something like that for the hell of it.”

Herschel turned to Maggie, “Remember that Stevenson boy? I remember you shoved his face in the dirt because he pushed you to the ground first.”

Point made, Maggie shrunk next to Glenn, who was grinning at his wife at that new bit of knowledge. I felt relieved that Daryl and Herschel were in my corner. Merle wrapped his hand around my small one, “Bambi?”

“Que no se mete con mi familia,” I growled, swiping my hair over my shoulder. Grandpa groaned as the others looked at me in confusion. Every eye turned to Grandpa instead, who was shaking his head in disbelief. 

“That girl is going to be vindictive like her momma,” Grandpa muttered for all to hear. He looked at me, “What did Lizzie do to me? She didn’t mess with your family so why...” It took him a moment to realize I didn’t consider just him as my family. I gently pulled my hand out of Merle’s and opened his hand once more, not really wanting to get into it. 

She messed with family. 

End of story.

“Aww, Bambi,” Merle’s smugness was unavoidable, “ya did that for me?”

There were several reactions to that as the shock wore off from Merle’s announcement.

“Wait,” Grandpa reeled back in shock, “you?”

“Merle’s an ass though,” Glenn stated this mostly to Maggie, but everyone heard nonetheless.

What really annoyed me was when Rick said, “Over her hitting his hand?”

My head snapped up at Rick, glaring as ferociously as my small frame allowed, “She didn’t just hit his hand!” The shout echoed throughout the common room and everyone turned their heads our way.

“She treats him like he is some disease! She ignores him. Probably says mean things too but she doesn’t with me around because she knows I like Merle. She always makes the others get her the pelts that she wanted and then has the nerve to treat him like dirt. She never said thank you for it.” I kept my glare on Rick, who was slowly seeming to understand. “I know he isn’t the nicest person to everyone but I know Merle would do what it takes to make everyone here safe. Merle is like a bear. Yeah, he can be really mean when he’s roaring at you but bears care about their family too!”

It was silent. A small smile that was hidden underneath the beard appeared on Rick’s face, matching the twinkling eyes he had. “Alright,” Rick said with a nod, “it wasn’t just the hand.”

I moved my glare over to Grandpa, letting him know I wasn’t budging on this, no matter how much he didn’t like Merle. Grandpa seemed resigned after a moment and then I moved my look over to Glenn, knowing he was the other person who had an issue with Merle. Glenn held his hands out immediately, signaling that he wasn’t going to argue. I scanned at the others who were looking our way with dumbstruck faces. Some eyes quickly averted. Huffing, I leaned back into Merle’s chest.

“Cielo,” Daryl called out to me. I glanced over, seeing him wearing a rare smile on his face, waving me over to him. I squeezed Merle’s hand before jumping off his lap and walking over to Daryl. He picked me up and sat me between him and Grandpa, pressing a kiss to the crown of my head. “Thank you,” he whispered.

I basked in the rare affection that Daryl was giving me, leaning into his side happily. Looking over at Merle, he was just as dumbfounded as the others were. I tilted my head at him, silently asking if he was okay, and he looked away, Adam's apple bobbing. Not even a second later, Merle stood up and started walking towards the cell block.

I shouldn’t be too surprised that Merle doesn’t do any of the emotional stuff too. 

I reached under my hoodie and pulled out the necklaces that I had made, looking for Merle’s. Spotting the grey jasper, I held it out to Daryl, “When you see Merle later, can you give him his gift?”

Daryl took the necklace for me, inspecting the grey stone with whirling black lines, “I will.”

I looked at the necklaces again, pulling out his, “Here is yours. Merle’s is a grey jasper and yours is a red one.”

Daryl turned his attention from the grey to the blaring red one I was handing him. He accepted his gift, surprised that he astonished I was giving him one. “Did you make these?”

“Yeah, why do you think I drove you and Merle nuts when I wanted to go somewhere? Each stone is found in a different place.” The pride was heard clearly in my voice. ”I made these with the extra wires Julio didn’t need but the leather strap can be switched to a string. I couldn’t-”

Daryl brushed a knuckle over my cheek affectionately, “Thank you, Bambi.”

I grinned, eyes beaming at Daryl- soaking in the attention- before turning to Grandpa, “And yours is a tiger eye!”

Grandpa gave me a side-eye, accepting the gift, “We’re still going to talk about what you did but thank you, Tiger Shark.” I felt like he wanted to say something else but left it at that for now.

“We’re giving gifts now?” Carol asked, sitting where Merle was earlier, Michonne right behind her.

“Well, I am,” I stated, sliding off my seat and reaching for a green stone that I couldn’t identify. I walked over to Glenn and gave it to him. “This kinda matches Maggie’s eyes, so I thought you would like this one the best.”

Maggie leaned over Glenn’s shoulder to look at the stone before tapping my nose, holding back the ‘aw’ that I knew she wanted to say. Her eyes looked like they were glistening with tears but at the same time, no tear in sight.

Glenn’s eyes were flashing with gratitude, “Thank you, kiddo.” He looked at the stone and then back to Maggie with that loving smile he always gives her. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the bracelets, looking them over for Maggie’s.

Finding it, I handed her the intricately braided bracelet, “Here is yours.”

Maggie ran her fingers over the bracelet with a soft gasp, “You made this?” She traced the woven leather strands surrounding the bright blue stone. The wire was a bit more exposed in her bracelet since it was the first one I made after a few practice runs.

I hummed in agreement, ”I can definitely braid my hair by myself now, that’s for sure,” I joked. “I think it’s Amazonite but don’t quote me on that. If you want, I can try and hide the wire a bit better-”

“It’s perfect,” Maggie pulled me into a hug. I felt her happiness soak into my body, adding to the one I already had from earlier. 

I turned to Michonne and Carol, handing Michonne the amethyst and Carol the four small barites I placed into the bracelet, changing my mind from gifting it separately. Both women had the same reaction as Maggie, just tamer. I turned around to the final two men that were nearby. I handed Herschel the necklace with the clear quartz and Rick the obsidian, both thanked me with a smile. I held up the final two gifts, “Gonna give these to Beth and Carl.”

“Cielo...” 

I looked over my shoulder at Grandpa, who pointed a finger at me, “We are going to talk about earlier.”

The buzz I was on diminished on those words. Sighing, I nodded and continued the search for the other two members from the original group. At least I was being given a day to enjoy.


	38. BYE, Luke...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the weekly update!
> 
> I was so happy to see so many comments in one day regarding the last two chapters. Glad to see some of you found a new chapter to adore.
> 
> Thank you for the kudos as well!

Not long after I handed out my gifts, everyone else had done the same for their loved ones. I got a bag of skittles from Glenn and Maggie-while it wasn’t chocolate- I loved the candy all the same. I gave a warning- read Carl between the lines- that it was to be left untouched until my birthday came around the corner. Message was hopefully received. 

Herschel gave me a book about edible fungi and wild plants. Now that was something we could all benefit from but with my track history of being lost in the woods, I definitely thanked the old man with an over-exaggerated hug. Beth took up a hobby of her own and crocheted me a beige beanie and scarf to blend in better with the woods than my bright yellow one. Carol seemed to have asked someone to get me a pair of boots that were still a size too big. Rick and Carl got me two knives. One knife was to replace the one that was starting to dull beyond repair. The other was a small one to hide in my new boots, which made me desperately want to wear the shoes. 

Grandpa, still peeved about what happened to Lizzie, handed over his gift reluctantly. It was a fishing rod, so when the weather picked up, we could go fishing together again in the river nearby. I couldn’t help but smile at all the times we were in the fishing boat he rowed us out in Smith Lake. I would have a can of soda and talk about the delicious pie that was coming our way when we got back to Grandma. I definitely would be happy to make more fishing memories with Grandpa.

Merle seemed to have collected himself enough that he appeared halfway through the gift exchange. I saw Daryl wordlessly hand Merle my gift with a nod towards me, wordlessly telling the man where it came from. I was expecting the man to turn tail again when the Adam's apple started bobbing again even with that stoic face he put on seeing the grey jasper. He wasn’t expecting any gift coming his way, that’s for sure. 

Daryl still hadn’t given me a gift and I didn’t want to get my hopes up either but as the others received gifts from him, I felt crushed. I was rubbing the sleeve of the hoodie between my fingers as Lisa was coming from the kitchen with what looked like tiny muffins. She went around handing them out, one per person, and when I got my muffin, I realized it was chocolate. 

Looks like we finally get to eat the cake mix. 

Once it seemed everyone got their muffin, Herschel stood up, “Good evening, everyone.”

Everyone started quieting down, those closest to Herschel immediately giving him their undivided attention. Herschel was smiling comfortingly to the large group surrounding him, “I hope that you all have enjoyed the night so far. I just wanted to take this moment to thank all of you for the effort that was put in to make this a home. Now, I know when we first began a few months back, this was far from a possibility.” Scattered nods of acknowledgment were given.

“However, in today’s world, we are constantly doing the impossible. Just ask those who had gone out on runs and found a way to bring us a chocolate muffin,” he playfully raised the one he held, earning some chuckles. Herschel laughed along with the group, “We may have had a rough start but there’s no arguing now that we would all pull together for our little home. So it’s only right that we are closing the year as family and friends. May the new year bring us better beginnings."

Everyone chanted 'better beginnings' before going back to their previous conversations. Herschel took a seat and I took this as a cue to start eating my muffin. I didn’t get too far in eating it before a laugh sounded next to me. I looked over to see Carol beaming a smile my way. "Enjoying your chocolate?"

I nodded, taking another bite before someone else laughed. Pouting, I looked over at Herschel, "What's so funny?"

His eyes crinkled, "Did you know you're dancing in your spot after every bite?"

I tilted my head, trying to think if I was even moving, and shook my head, taking another bite. I was still after the bite and shrugged, unsure of what he was talking about, savoring the rich flavor of my chocolate muffin. 

"Cielo!"

I cringed at Luke's over-enthusiasm as he ran between the adults to come over to me, shining a dazzling grin. Only thing I could focus on was his dimples. I want dimples too. They look cute.

He finally stopped in front of me and I just gave him a blank stare, unsure of what he wanted. Luke, being Luke, didn’t let that stop him. "Hey, Cielo, look what I got!"

He lifted a board game in front of me and my curiosity spiked, "Guess who?"

"Yeah, it's where you have to guess who's on my card and I have to guess who is on yours. Wanna play?"

I nodded, excited to play something other than Go Fish. He ran around the table and squeezed himself between Beth and Maggie, who was shocked by the small boy as she scooted over. Beth just moved over wordlessly with a tiny smile and twinkling eyes that I didn’t care for. Maggie and Carol tend to have that look and it just causes trouble.

"Did you show Mika and Molly?" Beth asked him. Luke shook his head, setting up the game.

"No. It's two people only. I can play Go Fish with Molly and Mika anytime," he answered her. "Plus," Luke went on, "I got Monopoly, too. I can play that with them later." I grabbed the card he slid over to me face down, looking at the picture and ignoring Beth's question.

"So you have to guess who I have and I have to guess who you have, right?"

"Yeah!" He shouted loud enough I swear his hair bounced in agreement. Staring blankly at him, I whispered a quiet okay and flipped up all the slots. 

We both played the game with Beth and Maggie looking highly amused as they watched us. Carol tuned in once in a while but kept up a conversation with Rick and Glenn. Feeling confident, I mischievously grinned up at Luke, "Is it, Joe?"

He groaned, leaning back so far I thought he was going to fall. I jumped out of my seat and grabbed his hand pulling him back towards the table, "You're gonna fall!"

He just gave me a toothy grin, "No, I won't."

I huffed, feeling like scolding him some more but left it be. I let go of him and sat back down, starting to get a bit annoyed with Luke. "You do that on purpose, don't you?"

He shrugged, "Maybe."

I rolled my eyes but before I said anything else, I felt a gentle tug on my hair. I glanced up to see Daryl’s expressionless face staring down at me. "Yeah?" I asked him. 

"Merry Christmas," he whispered quietly, gently holding out my gift. 

I froze as I took in the new bow he was giving me. It was different from the last one as it had tips curving out. The wood was mostly dark but there was a small triangular piece that looked red. If we were still paying for things, this clearly was an expensive bow. 

"That's mine?" The awe clearly heard in my voice as I ran a fingertip over the bow. 

"Yeah," Daryl had a small grin, enjoying my reaction to the bow, "it's yers."

I leaped and wrapped my arms around Daryl’s neck, giving him a few kisses to his cheek, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

He gently pushed me away, scowling, but his cheeks were red from embarrassment. "Alright, calm down," he muttered, trying to pull away but I kept my arms wrapped around his neck. 

"Te amo," I sang as I grabbed the bow, deciding to let the nervous man go so he can hide.

As expected, he froze in his spot, the redness spreading down his neck. I inspected the bow, letting him stew over the two words as he needed. Looking beyond the bow, I saw Grandpa had a mix between a frown and a pout, glaring at the frozen man.

"Ya what?"

I blinked up at him, seeing he was still processing what I had told him. "I said I love you."

I'm pretty sure everyone knew what 'amo' means in Spanish. It was as popular as saying 'hola' and 'mi nombre es'. 

Hearing the awes from the women in our group seemed to light a fire under Daryl because he muttered something I couldn't hear and disappeared. Humming happily, nowhere near the actual excitement I felt bubbling in me, I looked over at Merle. "When do you think I can use my bow?"

He smirked over at me, "When ya daddy thinks we got game to hunt. I think ya scared him off with the 'love you'."

I felt the need to embarrass Merle curl within me, if he likes teasing Daryl so much, I'll be happy to do the same. "But Merle," I tilted my head to the side playfully, "I said I love you to all of you that night before bed. Only Grandpa said it back," I playfully pouted. 

He looked taken aback at that and I pushed a bit more, "You love me too, right?"

He stuttered a bit, neck being the first thing to turn red, then glared at me, "Ya a pain in the ass, ya know that?"

"But I'm _your_ pain in the butt," I retorted, nose in the air, knowing exactly what he was doing.

He grumbled something before giving me a quick glare as he walked away. I blinked in surprise, "Huh, that didn't take much."

Carol giggled next to me, pulling me down to my seat, "Stop teasing them."

"I'm not teasing them, I really did say love you to all of them. They probably thought I just said it to Grandpa." Seeing Rick's expression just proved my point. They didn't know I cared for them the same as Grandpa. I shrugged, "Besides, I just gave Merle a little bit of his medicine. He picks on Daryl too much," I pouted. 

“Wow," Luke leaned over my shoulder, startling me as this was the quietest he has ever moved. He took a seat next to me staring at the bow with complete awe. "You got a bow…"

"Isn't it awesome? Daryl is the best," I lovingly gazed at the bow, running a finger over the pretty red wood in the middle. Grandpa coughed and I glanced over worriedly for a second till I saw him pouting once more. 

"Can I hold it?"

Warily, I moved the bow towards him, "You can touch it. I don't want anyone but me or Daryl holding it." 

He pouted, brown eyes pleading, "I won't break it, promise!"

"My last bow broke a long time ago. I don't wanna wait a long time for a new one. Accidents happen," I firmly stood by my decision, "you can touch it only."

He sighed but did as I said anyway, poking the bow, "Could totally be like Robin Hood with a bow, just need the arrow," he muttered. Carol heard him and laughed.

"Maybe it's a good thing you aren't holding the bow, Luke. You can't play Robin Hood with Cielo's bow. Daryl probably had a hard time looking for one."

He bashfully looked over my shoulder at Carol, "Yeah…"

"Luke," I whined, slightly pulling the bow away from him, "this isn't a toy, you can't play with it."

He hugged me, resting his head on my shoulder, pleading, "Will you teach me?"

I narrowed my eyes on him, "Just like when I helped you with math and you just wanted to talk about Digimon?"

He smiled shyly, dimples on display. "No?"

"I'm not falling for your dimples, Luke," I gently pushed him away, dislodging the taller boy from me. A few snorted laughs echoed around me but I kept on, "They might work on Molly and Mika but not on me."

Luke sighed, "You're so mean, Cielo."

I ignored it. I'm not having anything happen to this bow.

"Maybe next year if I get a new bow, I'll give you this one to  _ play _ with." 

I couldn't help roll my eyes at the idea he thinks my bow is just a toy but that's boys for you. Everything is always a toy. George got a BB gun which he treated like a water gun. Safe to say, that BB gun was gone real quick. George's older brother got something for his karate lessons and he went around the house breaking some of Aunt Liza's handmade pottery.

"That's so far away!" He whined.

"Well, maybe I'll let you practice sooner. We'll see," I tried shutting it down. Luke, on the other hand, kept pushing.

"Next month?"

"No, Luke."

"Three months?"

"Luke!"

"Okay, five months."

I locked eyes with a highly entertained Grandpa, "Ayúdame…"

He chuckled, twinkling brown eyes focused on Luke, "Best you start heading back Luke, it's getting late."

"'Kay," he sighed, turning around to start packing up the board game. I felt my jaw drop at how easy he listened to Grandpa. He was giving me a hard time about the bow and he wouldn't stop. Grandpa just says one time that he has to go and he does without arguing!

Seeing how slow he was moving, I handed the bow to Carol, "Here, I'll help." 

Faster he leaves, the better. 

Seeing that I was helping, he looked over with a frown, "Hey, you said only you and Daryl can hold the bow! Carol has it!"

I put the last piece inside the box and closed it, "Bye, Luke," I handed the box to him, "see ya later!"

He slowly grinned, "Since Carol has it can I-"

"Night, Luke!"

"Just to hold-"

"Aidos," I waved my fingers at him. 

"One second, that's all-"

"Luke," I whined, desperate for him to leave, "I really want to go to sleep. I'm tired."

"Oh," he frowned, holding the box to him, "okay, night."

I waved goodbye as he started walking back to where he appeared from, turning to Carol once he was gone and let out a deep sigh, "Too much…"

She laughed, setting off the others around us, and I rolled my eyes once more. I don't know if it is even worth asking. Sighing, I took the bow back from Carol, "I don't wanna know…"

"He always like that?" Glenn asked, cheeks red from laughing. 

I sighed exasperatedly as Beth answered for me, "Luke is definitely full of energy."

I nodded, feeling like my eyes were going to pop out agreeing with that statement, "Lots of it."

"I think he likes you," Carol teased, eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Ugh," was the only reply I can muster the energy for. 

"What's this about falling for dimples?" Grandpa asked, the same look in his eyes.

I sighed, "Mika and Molly always talk about how cute his dimples are, which is true, he does have cute dimples," I glared at Maggie as she cooed at my observation.

"But!" I shouted at her, "just 'cause he has cute dimples doesn't mean he isn't annoying!"

"He still has cute dimples," she teased. 

"He gives me a headache," I muttered loud enough for all of them to hear, which earned bigger smiles. I grabbed my bow and fishing rod in one hand and tried grabbing my other gifts in one go to try and escape Maggie's teasing, grunting when I saw it wasn't possible to do one trip.

"I think he likes you," Beth added.

"Daryl?! Merle?! Can you help me bring everything upstairs? Maggie and Beth are teasing me about boys again!"

That had them roaring in laughter. 

* * *

I aimed and let go of the arrow, surprised by the force the arrow left the bow, it was stronger than the last one. The singing coming from the string was also a surprise. I looked up at Daryl, "This is a whole lot stronger and noisier than the last one."

He nodded, "It's a recurve bow. It's stronger than the other one ya got."

"What she got last time?" Merle asked, eyeing how close it was to the target. 

"Longbow."

Merle grunted, "Definitely more forgiving than a recurve."

"Can it go further or is it the same distance as the last one?" I questioned, staring at the recurve bow, trying to figure the main differences between this bow and my old bow.

"Further," Merle answered, plucking the string, "gonna need to find a silencer string. It'll make noise and that ain’t good, walker or not."

Daryl nodded at the observation, staring at the bow with a frown. Maybe he didn't think it was going to be that loud. I shrugged, "I don't gotta worry about walkers for a bit. They're still frozen. I just gotta practice on aiming it better till then," I eyed how far off I was from the target. 

"Little perfectionist, ain't ya, Bambi?"

"Do it right the first time or work harder the next go around," I answered, docking the next bow. "Abuela said that all the time to Mami and it makes sense. Every time Mami tried doing things the quick and easy way it always went bad for Mami."

"Like what?"

"Having Tio fix the sink instead of a plumber, trying to dye her hair herself, and Abuela said Mami had James do some school project for her."

"Don't be too hard on yerself," Daryl patted my head, "ya figuring it out."

I let go once more and scowled as I did worse than the first time. Wordlessly, I grabbed a third arrow and actually took my time. This bow was not the same as my old wooden one. The string goes back further and it obviously has a strong pushback after the arrow is released. Letting out a deep breath, I let go of my bow, ignoring the loud twang of the string.

Seeing the third arrow hit the target, I looked triumphantly at the two Dixon’s. Merle tapped my cheek with the back of his knuckles, "Atta girl, Bambi."

Daryl didn’t express much but the relaxed posture he had told me he was happy. If he didn't think I was doing good, there would be that ever-present frown or crossed arms, maybe even both.

"Alright, go and check yer arrows. See if ya can use them."

I looked up at Daryl, "You'll show me how to make my arrows just in case, right?"

A smile quirked on his lips, "Tryin' to get rid of me?"

"Never," I started walking to collect all of the bows from the quiver, "y'all stuck with me."

There was a belief moment where there was a toothy grin on Daryl’s face before he hid it by scratching his chin. I felt elated at the sight because no one can say they managed to get him to smile, teeth, and all. I picked up the arrows further down the slope. I put all the usable ones back in my quiver and the bad ones stayed in my hands. Coming back up the snowy hill I noticed that both Daryl and Merle were chatting. I said nothing as I got closer and handed over the arrows in my hand, to double-check me.

As I gave him the arrows in my hand, Merle checked the ones in my quiver, handing a few over to Daryl that I misjudged. Daryl handed one of those to me so I could try to figure out why I was wrong but cringed when several voices shouted out behind me. 

"Cielo!"

I looked up at Merle who was in front of me, hearing a set of footsteps crunching the snow beneath them, "Please tell me Luke isn't the-"

A grunt left me as I nearly fell over from the tackle, "Luke!"

"You're practicing with your bow! Can I see?" The excitement rolling off him in waves. I looked over my shoulder to see him grinning my way, dimples full display. I sighed, looking up at the two men, silently pleading with them. I didn’t want to look like the bad guy here.

"Nah," Daryl was the one to help me, "she's done for the day."

I turned to Luke, "Sorry, gotta listen when he says I gotta stop practicing with the bow."

"Oh," the disappointment couldn't have been any louder as Luke frowned, staring longingly at the bow in my hands. I handed the bow over to Daryl and the quiver to Merle.

"What you guys doing out here?" I turned to Mika, who was walking with Molly. 

"Wanna build a snowman?" Molly politely asked, the complete opposite of Luke when he was demanding to see the bow in action.

"Sure, sounds fun," I smiled at her. It really has been a while since I could play in the snow. The year before the walkers we didn't have much snow to even try to make a snow angel. It was gone as quickly as it came.

"See you guys for more practice later?" I stressed the later clear enough that Merle let out a snort. 

"Maybe yer Daddy don't want ya to," Merle teased, throwing the quiver over his shoulder. 

"Merle," I whined, "stop teasing him!"

Daryl said nothing other than glared at Merle. Merle bopped my nose, "Yer Daddy ain't saying nothing."

"Well, maybe he doesn't need to because he knows you're gonna be sleeping with one eye open till I make my way to you," I stuck my tongue out. Merle’s eyes widened and Daryl coughed, trying to hide the laugh, I gave a triumphant huff and pulled Mika with me. I laughed knowing Merle was glaring at the back of my head at that little comment as I ran off. 

Molly and Luke weren't too far behind us as I let Mika pick a spot to start building her snowman. Deciding that I would help her, I glanced around at the strangeness of Lizzie not being here. "Is Lizzie still not feeling good?”

Mika shrugged, “The rash is gone but Dad wants her to stay inside until he’s sure it’s gone.”

“Wanna make a-” I stopped Luke.

“I’m helping Mika, you and Molly can make a snowman together, maybe ours will be the best snowman,” I goaded Luke. If it’s one thing I learned from growing up with older boy cousins, tell them you’re gonna do something better. They compete over everything. It worked with Gabriel and George, it’s even worked with Carl.

As expected, Luke puffed up and grabbed Molly’s hand, “Our snowman is gonna be loads cooler than yours and Mika’s.”

“Nuh-uh!” Mika argued, stopping to pile the snow together at the beginning of our snowman. I grinned over at Mika who was actually sending a glare at the back of Luke’s head. Maybe Mika has a competitive streak of her own? 

I knelt down and started piling more snow where Mika started to form her snowman. Mika joined in and I wasn’t sure exactly how long we were out there. There was a brief moment when I looked up to see Grandpa wrapped up to take a brief look at the four of us building our snowmen. Luke and Molly’s snowman was definitely taller than the one Mika and I built, I think I was to blame for that but Luke was taller than the three of us!

I think the snowman Mika and I made was cuter and more symmetrical than theirs anyway. Their snowman’s loppy sides were definitely Luke’s impatience on building the snowman faster and taller than ours, but Molly was fixing what she could. It was tricky when it came to wanting to put arms, eyes, or even a smile on the snowmen. All the little stones were hidden under the snow and there was no way I was allowed outside by myself. I didn’t want to go down the route of being cuffed to Carl again.

A loud whistle sharply echoed in the air. We all looked up to see Rick waving us over. Sighing, I took one more look at our snowman before following the others over to Rick, who held the door to the common area open for us. Upon walking in, the heat from the terracotta hit my face, making me realize just how cold I really was. Ryan collected Mika with a smile and one of the other Woodbury residents came to take charge of Molly and Luke, who I found out lost their parents from the Governor’s rampage. A finger poked at my cheek, “Whoo, ain’t you a walking popsicle.”

I grabbed Merle’s hand and held it to my cheek, “I’m cold.” I playfully peeked up at Merle, who pulled his hand away quickly at the sudden change in temperature.

“I’m tryin’ to keep the only hand I got, don't freeze it off,” He joked. 

“Colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra, that’s for sure,” Grandpa muttered somewhere behind him, likely thinking I didn’t hear him. I unzipped my coat first, leaving the scarf and beanie on me still, rubbing my hands together to warm them up. Grandpa and Herschel stood in front of me, blocking me from the others who were in the common room. Blowing warm air on my frozen hands, my eyes darted to Rick and Merle who were on the sides of me, caging me in. 

Realizing something was going on, I tried to turn tail, “Gonna take a shower before dinner. Hope Julio figured out how to make the showers hot.”

“Park it,” Grandpa ordered immediately and I stopped walking off. I suspiciously eyed them, trying to figure out who was the best bet to run past first. Herschel was given a fake leg just yesterday and he was trying it out today and Grandpa, while I adore him, has a limp that makes him slow. Thing is that Rick and Merle got me cornered on each side and would have no problem grabbing a hold of me. Best bet is to go straight.

I bolted between Grandpa and Herschel, Merle uttering certain choice words I definitely would not be allowed to say and Rick being more subtle about it. I dodged the larger men between the groups who were huddled around the room. The more aware members realized the two men chasing me were trying to catch me, trying to help them as I passed by. Being small is working to my advantage for once because not only could they not grab me, they slowed down the two men, especially big ol’ Merle. I didn’t dare go my normal route to the hall with the infirmary and instead went towards the kitchen, knowing I would be able to find somewhere to hide in there.

As I turned the corner, I bumped into a larger body hard enough I nearly fell backward. My only saving grace was that the person I ran into had fast reflexes to grab me before I did. I locked eyes with shocked electric orbs and knew that I was trapped if I didn’t move. 

“Excuse me, Daryl!”

I tried running off but Daryl didn’t let go. He quickly pulled and spun me around, forcing me to lose my footing as the other two men finally caught up. Groaning, I hid my face into Daryl’s leg, already catching a glimpse of Rick’s face. He definitely wasn’t happy and Merle would no doubt be the same.

Merle pointed a finger at me, already panting, “Stay.”

He turned down the hall to likely grab Herschel and Grandpa. I huffed as Merle left the hall, tightening the grip on the back of Daryl’s jeans, “Not a dog…”

Rick guffawed, “No, you definitely aren’t.” He turned to look up at Daryl, shifting his weight to one leg, hand on hip, “She is quick on her feet, know that?”

“What she do now?” Daryl questioned the man. I smacked his leg, forcing him to look down at me.

“I just came in from building a snowman with Mika, so I did nothing. Rick and the others cornered me. I’m just saving myself from whatever trap they set up, thank you very much.”

Rick snorted and Daryl actually rolled his eyes at me. Rick just shook his head, “Nothing but trouble..”

“Little ol’ me? Trouble?” I gazed at Rick, who clearly wanted to laugh, but probably bit his tongue to stop himself. Daryl flicked my cheek in retaliation.

“Cheeky,” he sighed, clearly not having the energy to keep up. I didn’t have time to say anything as Merle came down the hall with the older men. Grandpa’s piercing stare set the mood. I hid a bit behind Daryl’s leg, knowing that Daryl would offer me up to Grandpa on a silver plate, but it was best to get away from that look Grandpa was throwing at me.

“Don’t let her go, Daryl,” Grandpa’s voice boomed.

I looked up at the man pleadingly as he took a brief moment to glance down at me. He turned back to Grandpa, warily asking, “What’s going on?”

Okay, so far so good…

“Found what had Lizzie break out in a rash,” Herschel answered, highly disappointed as he turned heavy eyes my way. He lifted the small bandana I recognized right away. I must have not been as careful with my own facial expression because Merle gleefully smirked over at me. Daryl peered into the bandana that Herschel unwrapped, showing off the emerald leaves.

“Wood nettle,” Herschel explained, “close family to poison ivy. Thankfully the itching lasts for a few hours at most.”

“How she know about that?” Daryl asked him, his hand wrapping in mine, clearly not letting go. Yeah, gotta run, Daryl is a part of this now. He is on board with dealing with the Lizzie issue from yesterday.

“Back when we were in the woods hiding from the Governor’s attack, there was a patch behind her. Warned her to be careful because it would make her itch something fierce,” Herschel’s eyes drifted to me at that.

I tried to pretend to play with Daryl’s fingers in the hand he was holding, to see if he would loosen up the hold on me with no success whatsoever. I’m done for.

“Figured, since Tiger Shark here thought it was okay to use on Lizzie,” Grandpa’s eyes narrowed in on me, “why not give her a taste of her own medicine. She seems to have no problems doing the same.”

Beyond done for.

I tried to make a break for it, hoping the hold Daryl had on me wasn’t that tight and the sudden force would make him let me go. Except, when did Daryl ever make things easy?

He pulled me back and Grandpa didn’t waste time grabbing my other arm, pushing up the sleeve, and rubbed the leaves on my skin. I felt the little hairs of the wood nettle prickling my skin but nothing was itching. He pushed the sleeve arm Daryl had a hold of and did another quick swipe. Confused, I wasn’t sure if the feeling was supposed to be immediate or it was a delayed reaction. 

“Did it work?”

I glared at Merle, asking about the effectiveness of my unusual punishment. Grandpa snorted, “Oh, give it a moment.”

“I can’t believe you did that, Grandpa,” I stared at my arms in disbelief, unsure if the leaves were too old now or not.

“Like you were giving Merle his own medicine last night, you get yours.”

“Well, this loan shark is gonna charge interest, Paw-paw,” I sniffed. Grandpa’s face reddened slightly, a mix of anger and embarrassment. He clearly wasn’t expecting me to learn what a loan shark is.

“Bring it,  _ Bambi _ ,” Grandpa goaded, not backing down.

Grandpa and I were locked in a staredown, oblivious to the other three men standing in the hall with us. Rick shared a look with Daryl who shook a head in response, clearly understanding the nonverbal communication the old sheriff threw his way. Merle just crossed his arms and looked at Grandpa and I like it was a tennis match. Herschel snorted, starting to hobble away from the two of us.

“Clearly see where the stubbornness came from.”


	39. The Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the weekly update to make Monday's somewhat enjoyable. This was 17 pages in my Word Doc.
> 
> Thank you for comments and kudos!
> 
> Additional comments at the end...

I rubbed my arms roughly, glaring at Grandpa throughout dinner, refusing to utter a single sound. This was hell. My arms were burning like they were on fire. Scratching it made it worse and rubbing the rash under my sweater barely helped. It felt like needles were trying to escape my skin and nothing was working. Maggie looked over with some sympathy when she heard what happened but that is the only sympathy I got from my little family. The others seemed to have been of the same mindset of giving me a taste of my own medicine.

Stifling the whine, I rubbed one arm against my knee as I decided to take the final bite of food. I couldn’t eat with this itch!

I pushed the plate away and started walking towards the infirmary. Glenn must have figured out where I was going because he was the first to comment. "Herschel said there isn't anything in the infirmary to help. If there wasn't anything for Lizzie then there isn't anything for you."

I shot him a glare worth of my size, seeing him straighten up a bit, "I'll make something work."

"She really needs to get away from Merle. I think that's his glare," Glenn muttered more than likely to Maggie and Rick who were next to him. I heard Rick's rich laugh as I kept walking.

"Bambi," Merle called out. A low growl escaped me as I turned to look at him, giving in and scratching my arms, not caring if it'll make it worse after. It made it feel better now.

He pointed the fork he was using to eat towards me, "Don't use up any supplies, ya hear?"

"I won't," I promised, "I know we need what we got but there has to be something." The whine I've been trying to keep in the entire dinner finally came out.

"You covered the girl head to toe in that rash," Daryl scolded, "you only got your arms covered in it. No whining."

I didn't argue with Daryl. Lizzie really did get worse with this rash than I was. Now I'm starting to see how she got a little desperate at the end. This is starting to drive me up the wall. I turned again, nearly sprinting to the infirmary, but Grandpa’s voice reached my ears.

"How do you two got her listening without a complaint? I tried that for six years and there was always sass coming out that mouth."

I breezed by the other people who were eating their food, seeing Lizzie's glare on me as I was leaving the room. Everyone was aware that I somehow managed to be the cause behind Lizzie's rash. They also knew about the punishment that I was currently undergoing. So seeing Lizzie giving me the eye of death wasn't a surprise. 

Once I was out of everyone's eye, I ran like the desperate child that I was, running for the cream I had hidden away behind the alcohol bottles. I know that there was something for this itch and I'm getting it fixed!

My sneakers squealed as I made the sharp turn down the hall, seeing the glorious door of the infirmary in front of me. A sharp stop and I pushed the door open, dragging the stool by the door behind me, needing it to get to the bin full of alcohol bottles. Not wasting time, as the burning in my arms were getting unbearable, I pushed aside the bottles and grabbed one tube. 

I twisted off the cap, not caring where it fell, and squeezed the cream onto one hand, applying it to one arm before doing the same to the other. The burning and itching sensation dulled to an ache almost immediately. I sighed in relief.

"So you hid the cream?"

"Carl!" I squeaked, surprised to see the smirking teen closing the door behind him. He crossed his arms smugly as I felt my hands get a little sweaty, nervous. "What are you doing here?"

"Dad wanted to make sure you wouldn't use up anything. Good news is that you found the itching cream. Bad news is that you're going to be in bigger trouble when they find out you hid it."

"Carl," I slid off the stool, walking cautiously over to the teen hovering over me, "I will split my Skittles with you if you don't say a word."

"Hmm," his electric blue eyes gleamed at me, "I mean, this is big news."

Dear Lord, I should have never taught him how to gain the upper hand. 

"And half of any candy I get," I tried to bargain. 

"Even your chocolate?"

I groaned, "Even beautiful chocolate."

The smile he had reminded me of a shark, "And one thing of my choosing down the road."

I gasped, "That can be anything!"

The gleam grew in his eyes, "How bad you want to keep quiet?"

I pouted, leg shaking anxiously as I thought it over. He has the upper hand and he knew it. I sighed, knowing it was a lost battle the second he walked in, "Deal."

"My lips are sealed," was the smug reply. 

Live it up Grimes, we have a long road ahead of us.

I turned around, pout still in effect, looking for the cap that rolled off somewhere. My eyes scanned the floor and I looked up at Carl, "Help me find the cap?"

He snorted but did just that. He walked to the other side of the counter, disappearing as he knelt to look underneath it, and I walked a bit into the infirmary behind a screen. Looking for the blue cap.

I was searching two infirmary beds over when the squeak of Carl's shoe was heard behind me. I turned around, about to thank him when I was shoved onto the floor, flying backwards. A grunt left me in surprise as I fell over, elbow tingling as I landed on it.

"Why did you do that?" Lizzie screamed.

My shock quickly turned to annoyance, "'Cause you treat Merle like dirt under your shoe!"

"Merle is a stupid redneck and he's proud of it," her nose was in the air, "he's always mean to us and he always stinks. All he did was drink beer and never did anything good at Woodbury. He just caused a lot of problems and if the Governer didn't need him, he would have kicked him out." Her steel gaze looked me over with a sneer. "You're no better. You're just a stupid-"

"What are you doing?" 

Lizzie turned around to see Carl's cool gaze focused on her intensely. Lizzie shrunk in on herself, surprised to see Carl, who was twirling the blue cap between his fingers. Lizzie's mouth gaped like a fish, unsure how to answer after being caught by Carl. He walked over to me, bumping into Lizzie's shoulder as he helped me up, glaring at Lizzie as he pulled me behind him.

"Stay away from Cielo," he growled out.

As we walked out, I swiped the tube from the counter, letting Carl drag me out of the room before purposely slamming the door shut. A muffled scream came from inside the infirmary and a small smile spread onto my face at both her frustration and at Carl for saving me. He pulled me more than halfway down the hall when he stopped, handing over the blue cap.

"She deserved it," he plainly said, not expanding further on it. I knew exactly what he meant. 

"Thank you, Carl," I smiled up at him, "you really are the best brother a girl can have, Judith is lucky." 

His cheeks reddened a little bit, pulling down the sheriff's hat a little, "I couldn't let her just yell at you and push you like that."

"She's always been like that but that was the first time she was really mean about it," I shrugged.

Carl looked slightly concerned and I squeezed the hand that I was still holding onto, not wanting to add to it. He quickly pulled his hand out, slightly embarrassed, and I took that moment to cap the tube before hiding it in my waistband. "Let's just get back," he mumbled.

I hummed in agreement, grabbing hold of his hand again and this time he didn't pull away. We both walked back without another word. As he walked me past the others he twirled me around back to my cold plate, "Finish eating, will ya?"

"'Kay," I sang out, feeling a whole lot better than earlier when I was trying to eat. That earned a few suspicious stares at the table I was sitting at. 

"Ain't ya happy," Merle's gaze shifted to my arms. I stuck my tongue out at him again, not really knowing how to reply, and sat back down, turning my attention back to the full plate. 

"What happened?" Rick asked Carl, waiting for his son to tell him.

Carl took a seat next to me, pretending to scratch my arm for me, "Lizzie was bullying her."

"Carl saved me," I added, taking a bite, not missing the looks they shot over to where Lizzie was sitting originally. Seeing the spot where the preteen sat earlier was empty alarmed them. I wasn't worried about that. I was more focused on the sensation of the cream being moved about under my sleeve making the fabric stick further to my skin. I saw from the corner of my eye Merle was analyzing my arms. 

Thank you, Carl, for the save again.

"Lizzie did what?" Grandpa frowned, "That girl is a sweetheart."

"Have you not seen Cielo?" Carl retorted. "Everyone thought she was a sweetheart till this morning."

Everyone shuffled a bit in their seats as I devilishly grinned at them. I turned to the other arm and pretended to rub at the annoyance that was the itch. Merle’s eyes narrowed in on me as Grandpa deeply frowned, "Maybe it's best you and Lizzie aren't in the same room by yourselves."

"Best for who? Lizzie or Cielo?" Glenn muttered, eyeing me carefully. That earned a few snorts at the table.

"I'm the angel," I put my elbow on the table and leaned my head into my hand, innocently batting my eyes at Glenn, who wasn't fooled one bit. Maggie nearly spat out her drink and had to lean away, covering her mouth, shaking with the laugh she couldn't let out.

I turned my innocent look to Merle, "Right, Uncle Merle?"

He snorted, a grin growing on his face all the same, "Them horns holding up that crooked halo of yours."

I turned back to Glenn, "See, he gets it."

"'Uncle Merle?" Grandpa spluttered, turning a balding head towards Merle, "What have you been teaching my grandbaby?"

"Lots of stuff happens in a month, Grandpa," I retorted, still displeased with him. "He's taught me to shoot, how to pull the gun apart and put it back together, perfected my field dressing," I paused my listing to eat some more, seeing him scowl at the younger man, "and later on he's gonna teach me how to make snares."

That surprised Merle just as much as the others, sardonically muttering, "Ain't I so goddamn generous."

I nodded in agreement, remembering to scratch at my arm once more, but Grandpa turned a suspicious look my way. "Now, how is a one-handed man supposed to teach you to make a snare?" He quickly glanced at Merle, "No offense."

Merle grunted in acknowledgment.

I didn't skip a beat, "Sometimes Daryl is there to help and sometimes I hold things together and let Merle show me how before I try it on my own." I took a sip of water, keeping eye contact with Grandpa, waiting for him to call the bluff.

"Another ten years and you could have played professional poker," Grandpa crossed his arms, shaking his head in disbelief. Rick tried to hide the growing smile at that comment. Merle didn't hide his amusement whatsoever. Others, like Glenn and Carl, couldn't help but quietly laugh or snort in agreement.

"Daryl," was the sweet reply, turning my big eyes to him, "isn't it true you sometimes help?"

Daryl’s blue irises were nearly hidden by the narrowed eyes he threw my way. Mentally, I knew he was debating on telling the truth or going along with my little lie. Finally, he sighed, looking Grandpa straight in the eye, "She ain't lying there."

Victorious, I turned back to Grandpa, "And thank you for the compliment, Paw-paw. I would have been rich."

That broke Rick, the man's howling laughter echoed, making a few others nearby crack into their own laughs, even Daryl. Those at different tables were looking over in confusion before turning back to their conversations. The truly curious ones kept their attention on us.

I felt a kiss on the top of my head and saw a dark hand pinch my cheek, recognizing Michonne’s bracelet right away. I turned my playful gaze to her's. "Trouble with a capital T," she laughed out.

"Like I said before," I flipped my hair dramatically, "I'm the good kind of trouble."

"Oh my God," Maggie laughed, tears in her eyes, "you need to stop."

"Seven going on seventeen," I threw at her, which started another laughing fit between Carol and Maggie. I pretended to scratch the arm once more, seeing the two women start to fold over, "Okay, I'll stop now."

"If the professional poker player didn't work then being a comedian would have been a close second," Herschel chuckled, patting Grandpa on the shoulder sympathetically.

Grandpa shook his head, white eyebrows raised as he stared at me with defeat, "Herschel, this girl is too much."

"Good thing you got Daryl and Merle," Michonne chimed in, mischievously grinning at the two Dixon men. “They’ll help you reel her in.” 

Both glared at the woman and I decided to be somewhat nice to Grandpa, teasing the two men at the same time, "It's okay Grandpa, I already told them they were stuck with me."

I yelped by the sharp poke on my left, nearly jumping towards Carl who was following along the entire conversation with a smile. Daryl raised the finger he poked my side to my face, silently scolding me for picking on him. Grandpa wheezed out a laugh, "I'm happy to turn over the reins."

"It ain't a lie. Besides, y'all pick on me all the time, " I poked him back, earning a deeper scowl. He isn’t ticklish. 

Well, shoot.

"Hear that Shep," Carol bounced a happy Judith on her leg, eyes twinkling, "they even got her saying 'y'all' like a proper Dixon."

"Okay, I'm gone, you're gonna start teasing me too much," I took my empty plate, placing it on the cart that was piled with dirty dishes and utensils. The tittering followed my leaving of the table. "Night," I shouted for all to hear, rolling my eyes at the quiet snickers at the table.

"Where's my kiss, Tiger Shark?" Grandpa decided to try to tease me.

I looked over my shoulder, remembering part of the phrase Grandma used to say whenever he got on her nerves or made her mad. She always withheld the apple pie or refused to cook him his favorite meal saying until further notice. With my twist, I haughtily replied, "Your loan shark is currently withholding your goodnight kisses to the cheek until further notice."

I kept walking, ignoring Grandpa’s look of shock and shout. "Girl, you using your Grandma Lucy's phrase is from here on out outlawed!"

Merle’s roaring laugh is what I was able to tell from all the others.

* * *

I looked around the common room searching for someone I knew and trusted. I spotted Sasha with Karen and Tyreese. While I got along better with them, I wasn't exactly comfortable to ask either Sasha or Karen the question I had. I wasn't sure if what I was going to ask was going to be a dumb question and it was awkward enough to even ask. 

I walked over to the three adults I knew, "Sasha, Karen, Tyreese," I announced myself to each person, "do you guys know where Maggie or Carol are?"

They stopped their conversation and looked at each other a bit confused. Sasha turned to answer me, "No, we haven't. Something wrong?"

"No, I just want to ask them something and it's a little embarrassing," I rubbed the tip of my sneaker into the hard floor, feeling the need to switch shoes soon. 

Karen smiled that mom smile that has been perfected with their kids with time, "You can ask us, sweetie."

I shook my head, grimacing, "No, it's embarrassing to even ask them." After all, who better to ask than the two women who saw my own butt. They were there for every embarrassing moment so far, why stop it now. 

"Is it girl stuff?" Tyreese asked hesitantly, looking ready to leave the conversation if it was. 

I nodded, not wanting to give any other details. I tugged on the small hole I created in my sleeve, the blue sweater a little too warm for the spring weather. This sweater is definitely not going to last me another winter. Not only have I pulled random holes in the stitching of the wool sweater from playing with the others, but the sweater was also nearly a normal size for me now. I jumped into another growth spurt.

“That’s why I’m looking for Carol or Maggie,” I sighed, feeling as disappointed as I probably looked. “Honestly, the one time I purposely look for them, they’re nowhere to be found,” was the grumble that left my mouth.

Both women smiled at my frustration. Tyreese scratched his neck, “Maybe Daryl or Merle know where they are?”

“No!” I shouted at the suggestion, startling Tyreese. I waved my arms in the form of an ‘x’, “Do not tell them anything!”

“Okay,” Tyreese's uncertain tone just told me how confused he was about me not wanting to run off to either Dixon. Instead, he looked to Sasha for help, who rolled her eyes at her brother. Karen didn’t look much impressed with Tyreese’s obliviousness to my predicament. She sighed and looked over at me, “Don’t mind him, sweetie, guys just don’t get it sometimes. If I run across them I’ll send them your way, how about that?”

I smiled at her, “That works. I’ll keep looking in the meantime,” I looked over Tyreese with a half-hearted glare, “nothing to them, capiche?”

Tyreese saluted, “Yes, Ma’am.”

“Good,” I nodded, continuing the search for either short-haired woman. I completely missed the small laugh both women had at the gentle giant who shrugged at both of them with confusion.

Knowing that Herschel would expect me soon, I decided to check the library quickly for Carol before making my way to the infirmary. After giving me a taste of my own medicine, Grandpa and both Dixon’s had nothing to really keep me from ‘causing mayhem’-That was their exact words. 

They also needed a way to keep me and Lizzie as far apart as possible- as Glenn had clearly put it to all- who was being protected from who. No one doubted my smarts but Lizzie was still older and bigger than me. I could do what I could to outsmart her but she can lock me in a cell further down the prison, out of people’s way. Carl proved a point once by lifting me and carrying me over his shoulder. 

That earned him an accidental kick to the gut. 

No one believed that but it really was....

The only way to keep me busy was -as Grandpa reminded people- to keep my hands occupied. Daryl and Merle couldn’t teach me much other than snares and making my own arrows. The weather didn’t help in the lack of game either. No one else had any specific trade to teach except Herschel. The old farmer was a bit hesitant to even try and teach me anything. I was little and the main concern is that I would take advantage of what I knew to cause more trouble. Or in simpler terms, what I did to Lizzie.

It took some convincing from Grandpa but Herschel finally agreed. 

Since then, I’ve observed him treating everything once the runs picked up again. I’ve observed people come into the infirmary to help with their migraines, occasional cuts and scrapes, even reset a bone. I’ve even witnessed the actual process of removing a bullet from someone’s shoulder only once so far. By that time, Herschel was starting to see that I actually did take these things seriously. 

Daryl said I liked to poke at people's stitches before so it wasn't a surprise. Safe to say I had no problems poking at the cuts he kept coming back with. Nothing too serious but it still aggravated him and it proved my point. Now it's become more of an acknowledgment he even had a cut and I found it.

I sighed as I left the library, no Carol insight, and made my way to the infirmary where Herschel was likely waiting for me. Today, he was quizzing me on the medical tools he had me study over the past week. I knew on the off chance he would have to do some kind of surgery he would need some kind of help. Luckily for him, Daryl ran across another group just as Spring began that had a doctor of their own. Carl even lucked out with a new friend of his own. I knew Carl only had me for a friend but it wasn’t the same. Having another boy to talk to that was his actual age was different. Technically, I had Mika and Molly.

My feet automatically walked me towards the infirmary, knowing the way with my eyes closed. I pushed the door open to see Herschel and Dr. S both setting up the medical tools I was to be quizzed on. With Dr. S here that meant I didn’t have to assist in any surgery-which relieved a lot of people including myself-but when it was both hands on deck situation, I would have to be another pair of hands to give them the tools they needed. Dr. S was the one to spot me first, Herschel too engrossed in his task, “Ah, there’s our star pupil.”

“The only pupil,” I wrinkled my nose, realizing an afterthought, “for now at least.”

Herschel chuckled, sitting down as the prosthetic was likely irritating him, “All right, let’s get to it.”

“Wow,” I turned to Dr. S, “I just got here and he’s ready to tell me how wrong I am.”

The man laughed at my playful jab, “He doesn’t waste time, that’s for sure.”

I turned to Herschel with a sigh, “Quiz me.”

He held up a tiny pair of scissors that had the metal bridge I associated with a clamp. “Mosquito clamp,” I answered, waiting for the next one.

A slightly larger clamp was held up and I narrowed in on the ridged edges at the tip, “Kelly.”

He lifted another one that I’ve seen him use before when he was suturing, “Olsen-Heger.”

It went on like that for a while until I named every little scissor, forceps, and scalpel we had on hand. When I was first introduced to these I was surprised at how different each one could be and look nearly the same. To think what he had wasn’t even the tip of the iceberg for medical tools. If electricity still ran I’m sure he would quiz me on a few other instruments.

“You got them all right,” Herschel nodded in approval but didn’t look too surprised. Dr. S, who still didn’t know me very well, looked on in amazement. When he first saw me in the infirmary practicing stitching on an extra pillow we had, he thought it was a joke. I really didn’t take it too personally. I couldn’t believe that Herschel was even teaching me. Grandpa, on the other hand, was extremely proud and bragged to the newcomers about how I was already being trained by a doctor.

“How old is she?” Dr. S asked Herschel.

“I turned eight a few months ago,” I answered for Herschel, amused at Dr. S’s dumbfounded expression. Herschel spared a glance at Dr. S and shook his head, not saying another word. Herschel waved me over, “Come here, I want to see if your stitching improved.”

I was about to walk over when a familiar face opened the door to the infirmary, “Hey, sorry to interrupt anything. Karen said Cielo was looking for me or Maggie?”

“Yes!” I turned on my heel quickly, latching onto her wrist before stopping, staring pleadingly at my instructor. “Sorry Herschel, I promise it won’t take long.”

He sighed but nodded all the same, shaking the pillow I’ve been using as a pin cushion the last few weeks, “Back to stitching when you do.”

“Yes, sir,” I opened the door wider and pulled Carol further away. I looked around the hall and decided to walk in front of the storage room. It was further away from both ends of the hall, so if anyone was coming we could see them and away from the infirmary too. Nervously, I bit my lip and pulled at the sleeve again, unsure how to start. 

Carol worryingly looked at me, “I know Karen said you were embarrassed but I don’t think it’s going to be that bad.” She reached a hand out and rubbed my arm soothingly.

“It’s just really embarrassing but it kinda hurts so I need to talk to you or Maggie about it cause I don't know if I'm sick or not,” I pulled harder on the sleeve.

Carol looked me over, trying to see what could be causing me pain, “What does sweetheart?”

“It aches a lot right here,” I pointed at where the ache was, “it hurts sometimes but not all the time.”

"Your chest hurts?"

I flushed, "Not my chest exactly but here," I pointed to the place once again.

Carol’s eyes flashed with recognition before they turned motherly, “Oh, sweetheart, that’s nothing to worry about.”

I blinked in surprise, “It’s not?”

“No,” the smile seemed bittersweet, “it just means you’re growing up to a young lady. You can talk to Herschel ab-”

“No,” I disagreed quickly, “No Herschel, no Grandpa, no Daryl, no Merle, no Rick, no Glenn, just," I sighed. "No guys.”

She sighed and cupped my cheeks, “Our Bambi isn’t going to be little anymore.”

I rolled my eyes, my question slightly muffled as she held my face in her hands, “Is this even normal?”

She crossed her arms and I looked over her shoulder to see one of the new residents that came not long after Dr. S, Zach. He seemed to be smitten with Beth but she didn’t seem to give him much of a thought. I overheard Maggie say it was a matter of time before Beth stopped pretending to not like him. Not sure why someone would do that but not my problem.

“Everyone is different. If your mom was still around she could probably answer that better for you. I’m sorry.”

“Will it stop hurting?”

“Is it really bad or is it just annoying?”

“Annoying,” I twisted my mouth, displeased, “especially with the shirts.”

“Sorry, sweetheart, sometimes when we’re growing up there are some aches and pains that go with it.” She reached over and twirled a curl between her fingers. I nodded, not exactly happy with the idea of there being more aches and pains as I got older. What was happening now was frustratingly annoying. “I’ll talk to Maggie and see if she can help you. Maybe what she went through is the same you’re going through now?”

I agreed silently before sighing again, “Thanks.”

She held my face in her cheeks again, "I can't believe you're growing up this fast!"

I saw her eyes were starting to water a little and I got nervous, "Don't cry!"

She laughed, pulling me into a hug, "At least that's going to be the same."

I let her hold me for as long as she needed, ignoring the discomfort I was feeling in my chest. If she needs to hug it out might as well let her hug it out. I shifted, trying to be a bit more comfortable but Carol pulled away seeming to realize my issue. "Sorry," she told me and I shook my head.

"It's fine, you needed the hug," I pulled away and walked back towards the infirmary, "back to stitching the pillow."

“Cielo,” Carol called to me, stopping me from opening the door. I waited as she crossed her arms, “We’ll take things one step at a time. When you’re ready for the next step, let me know.” 

I nodded, seeing the subtle gesture, and went inside the infirmary.

* * *

Turns out Maggie was on a run that day. She got back just in time for dinner to start but I didn't want to bombard her with the questions just yet for a few reasons. The main reason was that we lost someone on the run. It was one of the college guys that arrived with Zach. 

Most of us didn't really know Jacob but it was still upsetting to see someone who was a part of our group suddenly disappear from existence. He was definitely a loud guy so you really couldn't miss him. He kinda seemed like an older Luke. Wanted to be friends with everyone, loud, excitable, energetic. Beth said he flirts too much and Maggie said he probably doesn't even know he is doing it. I wasn't sure what that really was till I looked it up in the dictionary and I'm leaning with Beth on that one.

I looked over at the table that was full of the younger men. Zach and the rest of the guys he came with, were all quiet and depressed, poking at their food. Normally their table would be full of laughs and playful jabs were thrown around. The entire common room was solemnly quiet, respectful of their loss.

The second was that Maggie clearly was tired after her run. Both mentally and physically. The group ran into a decent-sized group of walkers that overran their small group of four. I didn't dare to ask anyone if she saw the person be overtaken by the walkers. Glenn lent her his shoulder to lean on and rubbed her back comfortingly. 

Thirdly, how exactly was I to go up to Maggie and ask her if her boobs hurt when they were growing? It was one thing to think that you were somehow sick and your body is aching in a strange place. It becomes a new issue when it's not you being sick but growing up. I’ll just deal with it.

I leaned my head onto Daryl’s arm, not really hungry. I saw Daryl turn to look down at me through the reflection of my glass of water, gently pushing my head with the arm I was leaning on, “Not hungry?”

“Not really,” I answered him, “today’s just a rough day.”

“Failed your quiz?” Glenn overheard me, knowing that Herschel was testing me on the equipment we had. I had to ask Herschel’s permission to take them out of the infirmary and he had to explain the differences during our breakfast or dinners when I was confused. Everyone saw me learning the difference for my little quiz.

Merle scoffed, “Bambi aced it, no doubt. Girl has more brains than you and I put together over a bunch of scissors.”

A small smile formed on my face, “Yeah, I passed it. I just feel,” I scrunched my nose trying to find a word, “bleh. I kinda was hoping something good would happen over dinner to make me feel less weird but...” I drifted off, not needing to finish that sentence.

I felt a hand trail through my hair, “How are you doing, hun?”

I looked up at Karen, warm brown eyes gazing softly at me, “Okay. Just weird.”

“You talked to Carol?”

Karen, no. Stop right there!

“Yeah, thanks for telling her,” I darted my eyes sharply towards Daryl, hoping she would get the hint. She giggled, pulling on a loose curl of my own, similar to hers. Except hers looked way nicer. “How do you keep your hair looking nice? Mine is everywhere.” I blurted out without meaning to.

Karen just smiled at me. “I got lucky with a good haircut before all this went downhill. Looks like you’ll be needing one soon,” she gathered my hair in her hands, “it’s so pretty.” I hummed in agreement. It was long. I never had my hair to my waist before and it was definitely weird when it tickles my elbows.

I looked up at Daryl, “Will we go hunting soon now that spring is here?”

Daryl didn’t look at me as he ripped the dried rabbit meat between his fingers, glancing up at Merle. I followed his gaze and looked at Merle, wondering if Daryl was giving him the final say in it. Merle didn’t give a verbal reply but I saw the idea dancing in his eyes. Karen seemed surprised by my question.

“You hunt, too?”

“Bambi is a well-rounded chit,” he told Karen, “Knows how to hunt and now she’s learnin’ how to stitch us up.” Merle reached over and took some of the dried rabbit meat from my plate. I didn’t need to see Karen’s frown as Glenn and Daryl were doing the exact same thing. Maggie just sighed, not wanting to even start an argument with Merle. Personally, I didn’t care. Food wasn’t going to waste.

He looked at the three staring at him, “She wasn’t gonna eat all of it,” he turned to me with a grin, “ain’t that right, Bambi?”

“I really wasn’t,” I told them, “he made it easier for me to eat what I got.”

“See?” He then ate the dried meat without hesitation. Daryl leveled him a glare that Merle understood what it was for.

Maggie finally tuned into what was around her, looking at me with confusion, “Cielo, why are you still wearing sweaters? It’s getting warm.”

“It’s comfortable,” I replied quickly, not sure how to subtly tell her to drop the subject with two of the most nosy people on the planet at the same table. Okay, maybe overly observant two people but still, they didn’t bother to ask about the sweater before!

“Shirts we got too small?” Glenn asked, scrutinizing the well worn blue sweater. Feeling a bit nervous that they will be hitting the nail on the head, I turned to Karen.

“Carol?”

Seeming to understand, she gave me my way out, “Went to feed Judith, wanted to give Beth a small break from taking care of the cutie.”

I grabbed my plate, “I’ll find her.”

Merle’s large hand grabbed onto the plate I just managed to lift off the table. My hazel eyes met with his icy blue ones. Now that spring had come along, Merle had ditched the beard once more, the look he gave me looking fierce due to his angular face. “Whatcha talk to Carol about? I saw that little side-eye from earlier.”

I was confused, “How can you see a side-eye from the back of someone’s head? That makes no sense, Merle.”

He tilted his head towards me, “I can’t see yer face but I could see her. So spill.”

See, Karen, this is what the issue is!

“It’s between me and Carol,” I huffed at him.

“Karen knows,” Merle argued, his patience starting to lower.

“Actually,” Karen interrupted Merle, “I don’t. She wanted to talk to Maggie or Carol and I found Carol. Leave the poor girl alone, Merle.”

Merle’s eyes scrolled up at the older woman, “Ya made ya point, now ya mind? Bambi here,” his eyes landed back on me, “is gonna tell Uncle Merle what’s going on.”

“Merle,” Daryl warned, eyes flashing at the older man. Merle completely disregarded the warning Daryl was shooting him.

“I talked to Carol about it, it’s fine,” I growled at him, gently tugging the plate towards me. Merle didn’t let his grip go off the plate.

“How about this,” Maggie pushed her plate to the side, “since Cielo wanted to talk to me about it too, she can tell me. Then depending on what she talked about with Carol, I’ll let you know if it’s something you really need to know.” 

“Yes!” I shouted, pointing at Maggie with my other hand, “I’ll take that.”

Perfect way to ask about my current predicament later.

“That’s fair,” Daryl grunted at Merle. Merle looked at Daryl with a glare before turning to look at me. I pleaded wordlessly with Merle, eyes desperately wishing that he would take Maggie’s idea. He deflated slightly, looking over at her, “If she’s up to no good, ya sayin’ somethin’.”

“I will,” Maggie agreed, walking over to sit by me. I slowly started to let go of the plate as Maggie took the seat on my other side, not wanting my food to go flying. The plate was safely placed back on the table as I cupped my hands around Maggie’s ear, not wanting either hunter or Glenn to be able to read my lips. I whispered my situation to her.

When I pulled away, Maggie was staring at me, the pupil nearly overtaking the green of her eyes in shock. “Already?”

“Maggie!” I hissed at her, face starting to flush at the over-analytical eyes focusing on me and my embarrassment, followed by my foot stomp.

“Oh, honey,” she cupped my face just like Carol did earlier today, “I wish I was here to help you out earlier.”

“What is it?” Glenn asked his wife, “Help with what?”

Maggie turned to Glenn with a smile, “Just some advice.” Looking back at Merle, her pearly teeth still on display with her pretty smile, “Nothing you need to worry about, Merle. She isn’t planning anything.”

“What is-”

I cut Merle off, pulling my face away from Maggie’s hands, embarrassment building, “Merle are you trying to make me cry?” 

Not that I wanted to cry, it's just that I was starting to get frustrated and I’m already not in a good mood to begin with. Then there is the issue of  **it** being sore and uncomfortable even with the most comfortable thing I owned. But wearing the sweater in warmer weather is just as uncomfortable as  **it** was and that just added to the discomfort I already was in, to begin with. 

Now add in the fact that Merle has to know after being told it's not something he needs to know was starting to become a bit overwhelming. My embarrassment kept growing as I saw the curious looks being thrown my way and it felt like if they tried hard enough, they could see what was wrong. 

I don’t want them to know!

“How in the hell is me wanting to know what’s going on with ya gonna make ya cry?” He shook his head scoffing, “Ain’t ya being a bit dramatic?”

“Because I don’t want to talk about it with you, or Daryl, or Grandpa, or even Herschel. I talked about it to Carol and she says it’s perfectly normal and that is all that matters,” I whined, the tears starting to blur my vision. A concerned Glenn and aggravated Daryl were the last things I saw before the tears started falling over.

“Come on,” Maggie grabbed my hand, gently tugging me in the direction she wanted to take me. “Let’s take a walk and see if we can find Carol, okay?”

Roughly wiping away the tears, I nodded, silently agreeing with Maggie’s idea. My appetite was completely gone now. I heard Merle hiss in pain but I didn't care. I didn’t spare another look at the three men who were at the table with different levels of confusion. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the last bit is me wanting to continue growing Cielo and my personal experience. Trust me, I thought I was writing this too soon but between thinking grade-wise, my aversion to said bras as a kid, and google, it is possible.
> 
> I even added this bit because if you haven't noticed, I enjoy adding a little humor here and there.


	40. Looking Both Ways for Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY TURKEY DAY!
> 
> Putting this up as a treat for today because I know most of us Americans are entering a food coma in a few hours and whenever you get out of it, this is a treat for the eyes.
> 
> Didn't reread this chapter so there may be mistakes but I'll swing back to correct it on another day I have the patience to do so. There is a turkey cooking in the oven with my name on it.
> 
> Thank you for the comments and kudos!

I watched from the steel benches as there were people dealing with the build-up of walkers along the fence and eyeing Rick and Carl planting some more seeds out in the field. With Patrick around, Carl was just starting to become less hostile to the original Woodbury residents. Lizzie and the others were playing outside, running around, likely a game of tag. It's gotten warm enough that I had to give up my sweater and start wearing the shirts that were given to me. Or the new ones at least. Maggie and Carol came up with a solution to get shirts that were a bit looser and that helped a lot. 

Merle has avoided me for the past week. Not sure if Daryl ripped into him again but I was too embarrassed to see Merle for breaking down on him. I know he means well it's just that Merle has a bad track record of doing something extremely dumb over very well thought out solutions. Knowing my track record of where the coin is tossed, it would land on Merle’s extremely dumb ideas.

Instead, he kept himself busy. He just recently found a whole litter of piglets and was busy building a stall for them. Herschel leant him a hand as he had experience building one. Rick and Carl obviously helped bring about the extra plywood from the outdoor terrace that was built last week. Someone -likely Herschel- on the council felt we could all enjoy the fresh air and eat outside with the sun instead of staying trapped within grey walls. Some on the council -like Daryl- didn’t have to have their arm twisted to agree about getting out the prison walls.

What made the experience of eating out on the terrace better was when Merle arrived with a barbeque grill. That was something I can get behind because there was just something about food being grilled that made my mouth water. Carl said I ate the pieces that looked burnt but it obviously wasn’t burnt if there was plenty of delicious meat. I had no idea what the baboso was saying.

Gravel shuffled behind me and I looked up to see Daryl headed my way with his crossbow thrown over his shoulder. Now that warmer weather was back, he had no problem going back to his sleeveless shirts underneath the angel winged vest. Unlike Merle, he kept his beard, just trimmed it down to a goatee again. "Ready to go?"

I excitedly grinned, "Get back in the woods? Yes!"

I swiped the bow he gifted me for Christmas off the seat next to me, jumping off. I landed perfectly on the boots that were too big from before, lightly bouncing in them, "Am I tracking or you?"

He chuckled, "Let's see if you still remember. I'll warn you if you missed somethin'." 

"Deal," I shouldered the quiver that was getting a bit small, turning to the gates. He followed after me, highly amused at my excitement. 

Like he was one to talk.

“We’re heading out John!” I shouted over to the man who was guarding by the gate. Daryl’s snort wasn’t missed by me and I’m sure he was sending the other man a look I couldn’t see. John just laughed as he readied to get rid of the walkers that were near the gate. Hearing my shout, the closest few started tilting their bodies toward the gate, stumbling over as fast as they could. Thankfully, most of the walkers seemed to follow the larger group that was bunched up by the fences.

Daryl sauntered past me and helped John deal with the walkers that made their way over to the gate. I pulled an arrow and placed it at the nock just in case either man needed an extra hand from where I stood. Of course, neither man really needed my help as they dealt with the last walker and I put the arrow away, thanking John as I walked up to Daryl. We walked towards the woods silently, not saying anything between both of us. I didn’t mind because I knew that we needed to be quiet to find anything worth eating and Daryl wasn’t a talker, to begin with. It just gave me time to soak up the quietness that was rare within the prison walls and listen to the songbirds above me.

It took some time before I spotted my first trail. I stopped and silently pointed at the ground, waiting for Daryl to either nod or shake his head if the trail was worth following. Seeing the nod, I grinned and followed the tracks. Daryl’s footsteps were far more silent than mine were going through the woods but I would like to think I wasn’t that bad. I went to take another step when I felt the bottom of my braid lift off my back, gently tugged back. I stopped, looking over my shoulder to see Daryl tilt his head somewhere beyond a bush that blocked my view.

I frowned, looking back at him, motioning towards the bush. He motioned for me to back up a bit and I did, finally able to see past the bush that was blocking my view. A gasp left my lips, staring at the majestic buck that was grazing just twenty feet in front of me. It’s heavy antlers moving with every small movement the buck made. I didn’t think I could shoot an arrow at the deer but even I understood that we couldn’t starve the group of people back home. I pulled the arrow from my quiver, looking up at Daryl wondering if he wanted me to take the shot or if he would aim for it. Seeing him relaxed with the crossbow tilted down told me he was trusting me to bring it home.

Focusing back on the grazing deer, I aimed and took a breath before letting the arrow fly. 

* * *

I hummed as I held the two rabbits in each hand as Daryl lugged the huge buck over his shoulders, careful when moving around because of the antlers. I shifted the heavy crossbow over my shoulder, pushing the quiver along with it, “You sure you don’t want to-”

“Takes too much time and I don’t care to have blood running down my back,” Daryl stopped me from asking again, getting agitated with me constantly asking him in different ways. I didn’t say another word but kept walking towards the prison. I mean, putting it bluntly like that, I don’t blame him. The trees thinned out to give us the same view we had nearly eight months ago when there were just walkers within the courtyard. Now, it was filled with Rick’s crops, a newly penned area for the piglets, outdoor terrace, and living people. It was really starting to look like a normal life. 

Just with the dead walking among us.

I must have stood there a bit too long as Daryl walked past me, grunting, “C’mon.”

“Aren’t you amazed how far we got in just a few months?” The awe heard in my voice. “That field was nothing but walkers almost a year ago and now it actually looks like we’re making it. Walkers and all. Can you imagine what else we can do in a few months?”

The back of Daryl’s head was hidden by the large buck but I knew him well enough that he was amused by my reaction. I jogged next to him, trying to see his facial expression better, even the tiniest twitch. “What do you and the others on the council have planned next?”

“Nothing more than the usual.”

I huffed at the casual reply. Between him, Herschel, and Carol there is never a straight answer about the decisions being made. I’ve seen them tell Rick exactly what they planned and the man stuck to his decision nearly six months ago, he wasn’t the one to make any decision. In a way, this whole council thing worked out because Rick wasn’t under constant strain, it was shared. The downside is, everything has to be agreed to by the council or it was a no go. Take Carol’s storytime. All she does is read the other kids a story but it had to be agreed on along with the type of books.

Scanning the field through the fence, the first thing that caught my eye was a brown hat standing with a dark-haired teen with glasses. I waved as best I could with a rabbit in hand but both boys ran off towards the gate, likely to give a heads up about our arrival. 

John wasn’t guarding the gate when we got back, it was some other person I didn’t know yet. I couldn’t keep track of all the people we had in these walls after Dr. S and his group. Daryl seemed to always find people when he was out on his own. Something tells me if Merle went along with him, we wouldn’t have as many people here today, that’s for sure. I wasn’t exactly a fan of the stream of incoming people but it is what it is.

The screech of the gate being opened brought me back to the present, letting Daryl carry the buck in first, knowing the weight had to be bothering him even if he didn’t admit it. Patrick, the teen who was with Carl, stared at the buck Daryl brought in nearly salivating at the thought of eating it. I rolled my eyes at the older boy and saw my favorite balding head limping towards us.

“Grandpa!” 

I ran over, raising the two rabbits for his inspection, “Look what I got!”

He chuckled, patting my head as he stared down at the rabbits, “You and Daryl came back with quite the haul.”

I proudly looked at the additional two I shot on the way back, “Maybe Carol can make them into a soup? I like rabbit better as soup than actually cooking it. Tastes much better.”

“I’ll pass the comments to the chef,” Merle muttered as he took the two rabbits from me, appearing from the middle of nowhere. I blinked in surprise, seeing he wasn’t avoiding me anymore, letting him grab both properly in his larger hand. I glanced up at Grandpa to see him look as surprised as I was. 

I squinted my eyes at Merle, “Are you done ignoring me, or is this a one-time thing?”

The greying hunter grunted at me, “Go help Daryl with the buck.”

Seeing him avoid the answer, I tried a different approach. I sniffed haughtily, “It’s my buck, only right I dress it like the squirrels you tormented me with.”

That got the reaction I was expecting from Merle. He stopped walking away and looked down at my tiny frame, “Ya shot the buck?”

Grandpa blinked in surprise at that announcement as I pretended to focus my attention on the bow, observing Merle from the corner of my eye. “Well, Daryl let me do all the tracking and hunting today to see if I remembered how. I got the rabbits on the way, too.”

“Well aren’t you our little Artemis…” Grandpa mumbled, stunned.

Sighing, I looked up at Grandpa, “If you’re gonna give me all these little nicknames, at least explain who Artemis is Grandpa. Save me the trouble of looking it up.”

“You don’t have google anymore,” Grandpa was confused now, “how can you look anything else up?”

“You do realize the library has a dictionary and an encyclopedia?”

It was silent amongst the three of us until Merle howled with laughter. Grandpa bashfully scratched at the beard he kept and had a crooked grin at my reply, “Well, Artemis is a Greek goddess of the hunt. Depending on where you look there were other things they said she was the goddess of but they all agree about hunting. She had a bow and arrow, too.”

I couldn’t help the devilish grin I gave Grandpa, “I’m cute and a goddess? Aw, thank you, Paw-paw.”

“Anything for my Tiger Shark,” the sarcasm was strong. 

“Alright, git,” Merle chuckled, pushing me towards Daryl with the metal brace. 

And he’s back to talking to me. All is well.

I walked towards Daryl, seeing he had taken the deer a bit towards the side of the prison, out of view. I sighed, internally cringing at the gruesome part that I hated the most after every hunt. He already had a hunting knife pulled out, ready to start. I gently put down my bow and did the same with his crossbow and quiver. He noticed me putting everything down and pulled up one of the buck's legs, “C’mere and help me put it right.”

“‘Kay,” was my ever enthusiastic response to field dressing.

* * *

The next morning I woke up and started to head out to eat but stopped as I walked by a cell. I was surprised to see Carl still in his room. Grinning, I snuck in and jumped, body slamming into the older teen. He groaned, nearly jumping out of the bed if it wasn’t for my body keeping him pinned down. Completely disoriented, he blinked to see his surroundings better before he pushed me towards the wall, “Cielo!”

I giggled, “You stayed up late reading the new comics with Patrick, huh?”

“Shut up,” he mumbled into his pillow, no more the morning person that I was. I giggled and cuddled into his back, not letting him have his space. I rested my head on top of his head over his shoulder and he groaned, trying to push me away with the shoulder I was leaning on. “Go away,” he muttered.

“Weren’t you supposed to help your dad with the fields today?” I whispered in his ear.

“Shit!” He jumped up and I laughed. He turned around to glare at me but I was already getting out of his bed, knowing he needed to change out of his pajamas. 

“I’ll save you a plate,” I told him as I left his room. 

In a better mood, I headed outside knowing that since the weather was great with barely any clouds in the sky, Lisa or Carol would be cooking on the grill. It was a silent agreement amongst all the residents of this place that Carol’s cooking was the best, but no one wanted to tell Lisa otherwise. Luckily for breakfast, Carol was the one at the grill with Merle over her shoulder likely taunting her with something new.

“Merle,” I called out as I got closer, “are you bothering Carol?”

“I’m just tryin’ to get her to hand over the reins,” he innocently replied, “a man’s gotta be the one behind the grill.”

“Well, I don’t trust your cooking, so Carol stays,” I stuck my tongue at him, gently pushing him out of the way, looking at Carol. “I’ll be back for my plate and Carl’s. He had a late wake-up.”

Merle scoffed as he let me guide him over to an unoccupied table, “Let me grill and ya will love Uncle Merle’s food better than Carol’s.”

“Lies,” I laughed, “Do me a favor and save the table? I’ll be back with my plate.”

Merle waved me off, leaning into the table without another word. I skipped over to Carol, grabbing the two bowls she had laid out on the large table. She turned away from the grill she was currently cooking on and reached to the pot next to her, pouring oatmeal into them. I tilted my head in confusion, “Wait if today’s breakfast is oatmeal what are you cooking on the grill?”

“It’s a surprise for tonight, off you go.” She dismissed me, rolling up her sleeves.

“Shoot,” I mumbled as I walked off, mouth-watering at what she was grilling up now.

Maybe she was actually smoking it?

I didn’t get to think much about it as I saw a familiar brown hat searching for me. Rushing over, I handed Carl his bowl, “Here, eat quick. Rick’s still in the field digging. Merle’s saving the table.”

We both walked over and I saw the grin I knew came with relentless teasing. “How come ya never get yer Uncle Merle his food?”

“Well, Uncle Merle picks on me too much and Carl is already in trouble for sleeping in.”

“How about,” he waved a chocolate bar in front of my face, “ya get yer Uncle Merle some of the goods Carol is smokin’ on the grill for later tonight.”

My eyes grew at the sight of the chocolate bar before looking up at his smug face. “How long she’s been smoking it? I don’t wanna hear you whine about an aching stomach.”

Carl shook his head, grinning as he took another spoonful of the oatmeal, nearly inhaling the soft food. Merle tapped my cheek, “Don’t cha worry ‘bout me. Just get me a good ‘un.”

Several calls for Daryl rang out through the outdoor terrace and I zeroed in on the man walking up to Carol, “Be back in a bit!”

“Atta girl,” Merle called out as I snuck around the tables, heading towards the grill. Carol handed Daryl a bowl of his own, saying something that I was still too far away to hear that had him shaking his head. I walked by the large table full of clean bowls but moved towards the little vegetable garden I saw Tyreese and Karen tending to. 

“Whatcha doin’?” I asked them, tilting my body to keep an eye on the grill.

Tyreese and Karen both looked at each other with a small smile before looking back at me. Karen was the one to answer. “Weeding, wanna help?”

I wrinkled my nose, “Not today, I didn’t get to eat my breakfast yet, don’t want hands covered in dirt.”

“Well, what’re you waiting for, go ask Patrick for some food,” Tyreese stated.

Wait, Patrick?

I looked over, seeing Patrick was the one manning the grill. Carol and Daryl were walking off to the side, likely to talk about council business. Before I did anything else, Karen stood up with a sigh, “I’ll find Jerry. He’s supposed to be tending to the garden anyway, I’ll be helping with the walkers later.” She leaned over and kissed Tyreese goodbye and a quick smile at me.

Wide-eyed, I looked at Karen’s retreating back and then back to Tyreese, “You’re dating?”

“We just started,” Tyreese shook his head with a laugh, “why you even need to know?”

“Hmm, maybe not me but Sasha might want to know about her future in law,” I muttered, seeing the man’s head jerk up at me as I ran off towards the grill.

“Hey!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the startled look Tyreese gave me. Sasha likes Karen, it’s not like he has to worry about anything. She just might tease him. 

A little.

Walking up to the table, I grabbed a bowl and snuck up on Patrick, knowing he was a bit skittish. “Whatcha doin’?”

He yelped, jumping as he turned around to meet my devious grin. “Cielo!”

“Patrick,” I replied cheekily, glancing at the strips he had on the grill.

“What are you doing here?” 

I blinked up at him, “I’m here to get breakfast. What are you doing at the grill?”

The startled teen pushed up his glasses and turned to look at the grill. “Oh, Carol has me helping her out till she gets back. She wanted to talk to Daryl.”

“Oh,” I nodded my head, acting as if I didn’t notice that. “Is that for breakfast?”

“No, I think it’s for later.”

“That sucks,” I pouted and looked over his shoulder, panicking as I shouted. “Bee!”

“Wha-?” He ducked out of the way as I lunged for one of the strips of meat. I ran off with the smoked meat in the small bowl, heading towards the table with Merle and Carl. Merle was smirking as he saw me high tailing it back to the table. Carl’s jaw dropped as I handed Merle the bowl of meat, holding out my hand for the chocolate bar.

“How did you-?”

“You really need to help Patrick, he is so jumpy it’s not even funny,” I told Carl as I proudly secured my prize. His eyes narrowed in on the bar and I rolled my eyes. “I know, off you go, Rick is waiting.”

“Half,” he reminded me anyway as he walked off. 

Merle was analyzing me as I sat back down to eat my cooling oatmeal. Feeling Merle’s intense gaze not leaving, I looked up with a spoonful of oatmeal, wondering what he wanted. Seeing the bowl left untouched next to him, I pushed it towards him. He made me go through the hassle of getting him the smoked meat, might as well eat it. A soft chuckle escaped him as he sat up.

“Now what’s this about giving ya half of the goods?”

I gave him my most nonchalant wave as I took another spoonful of my food. “Just some deal we made that I was on the short end of the stick. Give it some time and I’ll get all my chocolate to myself.”

“Something to do with that so-called itching over Christmas week?” He slyly asked, eyes crinkling. 

I swallowed my food and tilted my head, “What you mean?”

“Got nothing to do with that tube of itching cream I found in the trash?” He prodded, grin turning into a full-on smirk.

Busted.

I simply blinked up at him and sighed, putting my spoon in my bowl. “Uncle Merle,” I turned my body to face him, “finding a tube of itching cream isn’t grounds for falsely accusing me of something I simply did not do.”

He threw his head back laughing wholeheartedly before twinkling eyes landed on me, “Daryl said ya got that lawyer aunt but I’ll be damned if she didn’t train ya well, I’ll give her that.” He poked my cheek, “Got ya saying the right words and even bribing the witness.”

“What witness?” I continued to play dumb, reaching back for my bowl and pushing his closer to him again. He chuckled and shook his head, turning his gaze out to the fields for the time being. Seeing that he had an idea swarming in his head, I went back to eating and waited for him to say what was on his mind or to leave it be for the day.

“Bambi,” his tone was stern but it carried an undertone of nervousness that I put my spoon in the oatmeal once more, focusing on Merle. His hand clenched and unclenched as he looked at the ground by his feet. “Back when-” he stopped. Seeing him anxious made me upset. Merle was always angry, quiet, and thoughtful, or in a bantering mood, but never anxious. 

I shuffled to stand on the seat and wrapped my arms around Merle’s neck, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. “If it’s about last week, it’s okay. I know you care but some things I have to talk to Carol or Maggie about.”

Merle was startled, not expecting me to give him a hug, let alone a kiss on the cheek. Grinning at him, I decided to push it, “You’re a grizzly bear, remember?" I glanced at the grey jasper hanging around his neck, poking it slightly. "My favorite grizzly bear, no matter what.”

He snorted, his neck turning red, looking off to the side uncomfortable. He gently pushed me back, trying to get some distance from me.

"You don't do well with hugs, huh?"

Merle's side glare was my answer and I rubbed my cheek on his prickly cheek, "Well, I give hugs and the occasional kiss to cheeks to my favorite people, so get used to it."

I giggled and gave him another kiss on the cheek before turning back to my breakfast. Merle was quiet for the rest of the morning, turning his attention back to the smoked meat that Carol was originally cooking. 

Both Dixon’s really didn’t know how to handle any emotional stuff.

Loud giggling caught my attention and I saw Lizzie with the others, running off somewhere. I sighed a little too loud and Merle jumped in to figure out the why. “Ain’t ya gonna play with ‘em?”

“No, I think Lizzie found a way to tell Mika what I did because Mika’s been giving me the stink eye. Between her and Lizzie, they keep Molly and Luke away from me saying that I’ll do the same to them.” I saw Merle’s scowl shift over to the others. “It’s fine though, between helping Herschel and Dr. S with what I can and then going with Daryl on some hunts, I don’t have time to play with them anyway.”

I got up from my seat, avoiding Merle’s eyes, and grabbed the dirty bowls, “Gotta go and help Herschel, if you see Grandpa, tell him hi for me?”

I ran off before Merle saw how much it really did upset me. Lizzie wasn’t supposed to tell Mika or the others. Ryan scolded her when he found out exactly why I covered her with wood nettle. He wasn’t happy with me for a while for how I decided to punish Lizzie but it wasn’t something particularly harmful to her. It just made her itch for a whole day. Him thinking I suffered the same fate was more than enough of a punishment. Then when he was told of the incident in the infirmary, Ryan wasn't exactly pleased with Lizzie either, coming to some agreement with Grandpa on how to handle the situation. All I knew is that Lizzie hasn't been allowed to be anywhere near me by herself.  


I was surprised at how much I had gotten used to playing with Molly, Luke, and Mika. When we first met I wanted nothing to do with them and rather that they stayed away. Now, I miss the occasional game of tag, the boardgames, or even the cards.

* * *

I bit off half of my chocolate bar and handed the other half to Carl, who rolled his eyes at my antics. “You do realize we shared bottles of water and even ate from the same spoon before, right?”

I shrugged, savoring the rich flavor of the chocolate melting in my mouth. It was worth a shot.

Maggie and Beth both laughed, the oldest Greene sister holding Judith in her lap. I looked over Carl’s shoulder to read the comic that Michonne had brought him earlier today. Beth leaned over the table to us, “Cielo, where did you get the chocolate?”

I didn’t need to answer and continued to savor the piece of chocolate that was nearly gone. Carl flipped the page of the comic, “Merle gave it to her.” I nodded, pointing at Carl’s answer, still reading the page over his shoulder.

“Oh,” was the disappointed reply. I ripped my eyes away from the comic to see Beth’s downtrodden stare at the table, picking at the skin on her fingers.

Remembering that Zach was lost on the run, suddenly realizing that she was dating him as Maggie predicted, I swallowed the last bits of the sweet chocolate. “You sure you’re okay?”

She nodded with a smile, but her eyes shone a bit too brightly to actually be okay. It looked like she was trying hard to look okay. I checked to see Carl had already turned the page, munching his half of my well-earned chocolate, completely absorbed in his comic.

I sighed, knowing that the comic would be there for later, “Hey, Beth?”

The older woman turned a questioning gaze at me. “Can you help me up in my room? I want to change the sheets before bed but the sheets give me trouble sometimes.”

“Sure,” she replied, leaving the table with a bounce to her step. I looked over at Maggie who shot her sister a concerned look but said nothing else. I glanced over at Carl one more time to make sure he was too engrossed in his comic before taking a leave. I followed the blonde with the swaying ponytail up the stairs to my room.

She turned to the bed, ready to yank off the sheets when I stopped her, “I changed it yesterday.”

Utterly confused, she stopped to look at me, waiting to give a reason why I had her come here with the lie of changing my bed. Closing the curtain behind me, I held a finger to my lips as I walked over to my bed and knelt down, reaching for the black backpack I hid underneath it. “Don’t tell Carl, this is my stash for when I’m upset. I don’t want to share all of these.”

Beth wanted to say something, her mouth moving without a single sound coming out of it, before she settled on one. “But I’m not-”

I leveled her the stare I had gotten from every adult in my life when they were catching me in a lie. “Zach was your boyfriend. Of course, you’re upset, you just don’t want anyone giving you looks.” I opened the bag I pulled out my least favorite candy bar and put it on top of the bed, closing the small pocket and sliding it back under the bed.

I got up and grabbed the candy bar, placing it in her hand, “I’m eight, not dumb.”

Clutching onto the candy bar, I saw the telltale of tears glistening in her big blue eyes. A watery smile came on her face, “No, you never were dumb.”

A loud sneeze sounded outside of my room and quickly, I yanked the curtain to the side to see a pale Patrick on the other side. Growling, I yanked in the startled teen, closing the curtain behind him after a quick look down the now empty halls. Turning to the alarmed teen, “What you hear?”

“N-nothing,” he stammered, brown eyes were blown wide, “I was just looking for Carl.” He turned to sneeze into his elbow.

I squinted at the teen, “You had to have walked past Carl reading the comic in the common room.”

“I’m not feeling too good,” he backed into the wall behind him, trapping himself between me, the wall, and cell door, “I must’ve passed him.” I looked him over, seeing that he really did look bad. His pale face probably had more to do with him not feeling good over me catching him in the hall.

“Well, Patrick, if I find out you’re lying,” I leaned in closer, giving him the glare that has even Glenn stop in place, “I'll knock you into the middle of next week looking both ways for Sunday.”

“O-ok-okay,” he stuttered as I backed away. I tilted my head to the curtain.

“Out you git,” I told him, crossing my arms. He didn’t waste a second and quickly did that and I sighed once I heard his footstep rushing down the stairs, “Carl really needs to help him get some kind of backbone, he’s too easy to mess with.”

I looked back at Beth to see her stifling a laugh, biting down on her lips. I tilted my head, “What?”

She shook her head, “Nothing, just,” her eyes twinkled, “I just had an image of a tiny Merle or Daryl telling someone older than them to ‘git’.”

I blinked, the image of either Dixon close to my age or size telling someone like Patrick to git came to mind and I had a small grin form on my face too. 


	41. The Flu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> Here is the Monday update! Hope you fellow US citizens enjoyed your Thanksgiving.
> 
> Thank you for the comments and kudos, I get giddy reading the excitement you guys had over the chapter.
> 
> I feel this one is rushed but only because I was getting excited for the next chapter coming up. And by chapter, I don't necessarily mean chapter 42 but more like the next chapter of Cielo's life. I was honestly skipping ahead so much to the part of where Cielo was already in Alexandria that I have to make sure to incorporate THOSE chapters with the ones I already fully written BEFORE she ever arrives to Alexandria...like I said...I was getting ahead of myself.
> 
> In 31 Days 2020 is over! :)

I was woken up by distant screaming, followed by the loud bangs that I have come to know as gunshots. Heart racing, I pulled on my boots, double-checking the small knife was still hidden in the shoe before grabbing my gun and hunting knife. The screams were still echoing into our cellblock and I noticed someone run past my cell, trying to get themselves over to help. I knelt down and grabbed the backpack, not wanting to be without any supplies on the off chance we need to leave. I shouldered the backpack and got my quiver and bow, pushing aside the curtain and running down the stairs. 

After a quick look around, I saw people starting to run out of block D and into the common room. Realizing that the attack isn’t happening from outside but something going on inside. I stood there, confused about what was going on. By the time I started to move towards the cell block, the screams and gunshots came to a halt. I walked over, seeing the door to the cell block closed, and peeked inside. 

There were bodies scattered throughout the floors, survivors panting as they took in their surroundings in disbelief. I looked at the ground through the small window to see people we knew with throats torn out or eyes glazed over. 

How did that happen?

Electric blue eyes met mine through the glass. Relief filled me to see he was fine. Daryl walked towards the door and I moved back to let Daryl come through but he didn’t. Instead, he stayed inside the cell block, muffling the words he said to me through the door, “Stay out of here and go back.”

I looked over his shoulder to meet that of Merle’s and Herschel before nodding at Daryl, turning back to where I was coming from, clutching the strap of my backpack tightly. On the way back, I saw some of the residents from block D crying in the common room, clutching onto those that made it. Looking around, I saw Luke and Molly crying, both holding onto each other for support. I walked over to them, worried, “You two okay?”

Luke’s watery gaze focused on me, Molly was still crying. Luke’s lips wobbled a bit before he could answer me, “Not really,” he sniffed, ”walkers were everywhere and they-” He looked down at the floor, tears flowing from his face, remembering what happened in their cells. 

“Cielo, hun,” another resident called out to me. I looked over my shoulder to see Ms. McLeod gently place a hand on my shoulder. “Let’s leave them to it, huh? It’s been a rough morning.”

I nodded, taking one last look at Luke and Molly before walking back to my cell to put the bow, quiver, and backpack away. It’s probably a good idea to start walking with the gun and knife again.

“Cielo,” I heard Beth call out. I looked around and spotted the dainty woman running up to me. “Michonne got hurt, you can stitch her up, right?”

“Yeah, let me just put my stuff away and I’ll head to the infirmary,” I told her, surprised someone was actually trusting me to even stitch them. Or did she not know I was the one to stitch her up?

Not wasting time, I continued my walk to the cell to put my things away. I put everything back the way it was in my room before heading to the infirmary to get what I needed to stitch up a wound and disinfect it. The halls were filled with hushed whispers as I walked, likely talking about this morning's horrific attack. I bumped into David on the way just as he started to hack into his hand with a loud cough. “Are you okay?”

He looked over at me, clearing his throat, “Hey, Kiddo.” He greeted me, rubbing at his throat, “What’s the likelihood the infirmary has something for coughs?” His voice sounded raw from the amount of coughing that he has done.

“None, that I can think of,” I winced, feeling bad for the guy, “just a bunch of supplies good for closing up bullets and stab wounds.”

He started to laugh but it led to another huge coughing fit. David leaned away from me, being polite to not cough on or near me, grimacing as I watched the man’s entire body rack with each cough. He waved at me, not sure if it was a goodbye or to not mind him as he left. 

I looked at the fleeing man before going back to my original purpose. The hallway to the infirmary was still empty, meaning Herschel and Dr. S were still in Block D tending to the wounded. I grabbed a small bin to put my supplies in to stitch up the wound before a small voice in the back of my head reminded me that there was no cure for a walkers bite. Throat closing in at the realization we might have lost more people than those who were on the floor. 

I put the last item in the little bin and started to make my way towards our cellblock, where Michonne was likely to be, shaking off the thought. On the way back, I saw that everyone from Block D who was in the common room was gone, likely having gone back to their place, or somewhere else. I moved my feet as fast as I could, chest feeling tight at losing so many people this quick. 

Walking into our block, I called out, "Michonne?"

"Here," she replied, a pained voice echoing from her cell. I walked over, surprised to see her cradling Judith to her chest, sniffing. 

"It's okay," I walked up to her unsure what was going on, running my knuckles into her cheek, feeling the wet patches she tried to hide. Michonne's eyes darted away from me, lips trembling, and she turned her head away from me. My eyes roamed over her athletic figure, zeroing in on the blood from her leg, I set down my little bin.

I pulled the gauze and alcohol bottle, getting everything ready to clean the wound, letting her have her moment. I turned around, "It's gonna sting a bit," I warned. 

Her confused watery eyes landed on me, "You're the one stitching me up?"

I grinned, "Well, if you didn't go away so much you would know that Herschel and Dr. S have been teaching me basics." I fanned the wound that was likely stinging her, doing my best to keep her mind off what made her sad. "Keep my hands busy and out of trouble, Grandpa says."

A throaty laugh left her, relaxing at the distraction I was offering. "Plus, Mami was a nurse so it makes me feel like I'm doing something with her," I added.

"I'm sure everyone liked having your Mami around," Michonne answered. I looked up at her confused.

"Mami was a walker when Daryl and Rick found me, didn't you know?"

The shocked look I received answered my question and I continued my work stitching her leg, "I was waiting for Mami to come back after hiding me in a cabin in the woods. She left to make the walkers follow her, away from me and the cabin, keep me safe," I started stitching her leg, surprised Michonne didn't react but kept talking. "I waited three days for her to come back and one day, I saw her from the window, happy she was back. Sometimes Mami didn't come back right away because of how late it got, so I thought she was hiding until it was safe to come back."

I used the gauze to wipe at the extra blood seeping from the other side, feeling Michonne's gaze burning the top of my head, "When I was running to her, I saw she wasn't my Mami anymore and I couldn't run back to the cabin because other walkers were there, so I hid in the trees for almost a week." My voice got a little quiet remembering the day I lost her.

I pulled another stitch through, "One day, I saw a farm with cows and I tried getting milk from the one in the field, but apparently, Herschel hid the ones with milk in a barn," I huffed, making Michonne break into a small smile. "I was a whole lot smaller then and I climbed the fence to see where everything was but I was happy about the house thinking it was empty. Dale, he was the one who saw me from the farm thinking I was Sophia, Carol's daughter."

I tied off my stitch with a grin, "I got scared thinking they were bad people so I hid in the tall grass, not knowing Daryl could find me. And here I am, with everyone here."

"How old were you?" Michonne whispered, rubbing Judith's back.

I didn't get to answer, "She was six but looked like she was three or four with how tiny she was. She really grew like a weed in the last year."

I huffed at Beth, who was wearing a new shirt. Her baby blues twinkled at me, "We didn't know how much of a troublemaker she really was just yet."

Michonne laughed softly, looking back down at Judith, contemplating. I grabbed the small bin, "Well, I'm done. Gonna put this back in the infirmary."

That surprised Michonne. She looked at her leg, moving it side to side, "Didn't even feel you stitching my leg."

"I'm a good storyteller," I shrugged leaving the cell. 

* * *

I was outside with Carl when Daryl and Rick were walking towards us. Excited to see both men, Carl and I ran up to them but Rick quickly put a stop to that. Thinking it was meant just for Carl, I took another few steps towards Daryl before he stopped me with a single hand. Confused, Carl and I glanced at each other unsure of what was going on.

"Everything okay?" I asked, feeling a bit anxious, beginning to twist the ring. Both men looked at each other before Rick sighed and answered me.

"You two might want to stay back," he shifted his weight to one side. Seeming unsure how to tell us what was going on.

Carl bit his lip nervously before rambling off, "I had to use one of the guns by the gate. I swear I didn't want to. I was coming back. I fell. They came out and helped me. Are you alright? What happened in there?"

I was confused about the 'they' he mentioned but if he had to use a gun, something I didn't realize Rick had taken away, then it was serious. I looked up at Daryl, seeing him frowning at me, probably not any happier than I was.

Rick heavily sighed, "Patrick got sick last night. It's some kind of flu. It moves fast." Rick broke it to us. I reeled in shock, surprised to hear that the easily frazzled teen from last night was dead. I just saw him perfectly fine in the morning and he said he wasn’t feeling good last night. Now it’s morning and he’s  _ dead _ ?

"We think he died and attacked the cell block," Rick rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding to look at Carl. "Look, I know he was your friend and I'm sorry. He was a good kid. We lost a lot of good people. Glenn and Herschel are okay, but they were in there." A sharp gasp had me turning around to see Maggie standing behind us, upset that her father and husband were exposed.

"You shouldn't get too close to anyone that might have been exposed, at least for a little while. Carl. All of you," Rick stressed to each one of us.

"Then I probably shouldn't be with Carl and the others," I told Rick, moving a bit to the side. Daryl’s head sharply turned to me, shaking his head as Rick looked surprised. "I was really close to Patrick last night. What if I'm sick?"

"No," Daryl sternly told me, "ya ain't sick, so don't even try to get close to us and actually get yerself sick."

I cringed hearing him talk with his countryside accent. He wasn’t happy but I didn't want to make others sick too. "What if I am but not showing it yet?"

"When ya are, then we deal with it," Daryl growled, pointing at the ground where I was. "Till then, stay put."

I sighed, knowing there wasn't any arguing with an irritated Dixon. "Fine, I'll stay put," was my reply. I hope I won't get sick. And if I do, then I don't get anyone else sick.

Rick patted Daryl on the shoulder as a silent signal and both men started walking back, Daryl gave me a final staredown, making it clear to do as he said. I crossed my arms, holding onto myself tight, and looked at both Maggie and Carl unsure of what to do. Maggie gave me a weak smile of her own, "Let's head inside, okay?"

I nodded, walking back to the cell block with her and Carl, anxiously hoping everything will be alright.

* * *

Everyone who was still healthy, young and old, got moved into the same cell block based on decisions made by the council. Karen and David were put into cells in the tombs because they were sick, separating them from the rest of us until they knew what to do. 

I wasn’t any better than before, my nerves getting the best of me, and was anxiously pulling at Toothless's redfin. I was happy that it was something stitched in compared to glued down like Terry’s horns and nails. I didn’t want to destroy the poor triceratops more than necessary. 

"Can you stop shaking your leg, it's annoying."

"Sorry," I mumbled to him, stopping my leg from bouncing. I looked over to Carl, seeing he was hunched over, twirling the handle of his hunting knife in his hand. Biting my lip nervously, I moved over and leaned my side against Carl, surprising him. "I can't stand this. Not knowing," I mumbled to him.

"Do you know what personal space is?" Carl didn't sound annoyed but weary. 

A gruff scoff answered Carl, "To her it's nonexistent. She's used to being coddled."

"Grandpa," I whined, leaving Carl's side and climbing into the seat by him, crawling into his lap and wrapping arms around his neck. He rolled his eyes and gestured at me. "You're being mean."

"See this? No sense of space and spoiled rotten."

Carl laughed quietly, seeing me hang off of the older man. Finally, Grandpa wrapped his arms around me and I leaned on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Sighing, I let go of his neck and cuddled into his chest. "Love you, Lemon Shark."

"And this is how she drags you in," Grandpa warned Carl with a chuckle. He placed a kiss to the top of my head all the same, "Love you too, Tiger Shark."

"Look at her," Michonne's majestic voice rang beyond Grandpa’s beating heart. Grandpa’s chuckle rumbled in my ear as he focused on Michonne.

"Got a pretty good scratch, I see."

"The little troublemaker you got in your arms stitched it up. Didn't feel a thing."

"Really?" I heard his surprise and I pulled away to look up at him with a frown. 

"Are you doubting me?" I pouted.

He looked down at me, "I can let go and you can find someone else to coddle you."

"No," I mumbled and laid my head back on his chest. Him holding me is making me feel better. I don't want to lose that. It was scary how people who were acting sick were being pulled to the side. That anyone in here can be sick now but not know it.

Patrick just started to be sick yesterday and he turned into a walker in less than a day. What if that happens to the others in here? We can be sleeping and someone else turned into a walker overnight. Karen and David were already put in the tombs because they were sick. What if they die because of the flu too?

I didn't have much time to start relaxing to Grandpa's heartbeat when the shouting began outside the prison. My body was starting to tense once more as I heard those who were supposed to be burying the dead shouting instead. I looked at Grandpa to see him frowning at what was going on beyond the walls, holding me tighter to his chest. "What's going on?"

Tyreese -who I didn’t notice- was the one to answer, "I'll go check."

As he stood, there was the rumbling of a car engine. The sound was that of the truck's engine, Rick’s truck, turning over. Carl stood up immediately after Tyreese, recognizing the sound of the truck his father had been using the last few months. I reached for Toothless who I left on the seat next to us and clutched onto him too. "Hope no one got hurt," I muttered to Grandpa.

"Me, too, Tiger Shark," His large hand ran over my head, likely to soothe me. Everyone who was in the common room with us was silenced from the yelling outside, wanting answers themselves.

The familiar sound of the creaking door came to our ears, followed by Tyreese’s, "Oh, God."

"What is it?" Michonne's authoritative voice reached Tyreese’s ears.

"The walkers caved in the fence," Tyreese’s low voice was heard clearly in the silent room, "Rick is using the pigs to lure them away."

His answer had others in the room break out into loud whispers. The panic in the air grew at the new development of the walkers overtaking part of a fence we used to keep them out. If they piled up again then it won't be long till they reached the last fence keeping them out. This morning was terrifying as it was for those in Block D, now we had a flu that can kill, and to top it off the walkers took over a fence. Carol came down briefly to tell us that the walkers also carried the disease, to avoid them as well.

Meaning, now we could catch what was going around from either the person next to us or the walker out the fence. The only way to keep the walkers from building up was to kill them through the fence. But if they knocked down one fence, that meant that soon the entire courtyard would get surrounded till the last fence holding them back would fall over too. Then we would be trapped further into the prison with no way to protect ourselves.

This wasn't a good day and it didn't look like it was going to get better.

* * *

Tears still not stopping, I kept running, looking for another exit to the daycare. Running past a room, I saw hands smaller than my own banging on the frosted glass with two pairs being adults. I pulled the door open, hoping it would give me time to run in case the man did make it through. I looked past the door, seeing the man manage to get past the bookshelf just in time to see the walkers getting out of the room. He was in full view of the walkers, getting their immediate attention, but his eyes locking on mine meant I was in trouble if he got me.

I turned to run again, seeing some of the smaller walkers take notice of me. I scanned the room ahead of me, trying to see where I could go to avoid both the living and dead dangers that are in this room. Seeing the bright red exit sign, I followed it, running over to the door and pushing it open. A sharp gust of air hit my face, stopping the well-deserved air my lungs needed momentarily, but I kept running. When I managed to escape, I circled around the building, knowing that if Daryl tracked my footprints in the snow, he would go into the walker infested daycare. I ran over my footprints leading inside the building and ran across the street, down multiple stores until I ran into another opened door.

There was a multitude of books scattered around the floor, making the ground uneven as I went to hide behind the sales counter. I took deep breaths, listening quietly for the sounds of more walkers or the man chasing me. My heavy breathing was evening out, Terry still clutched tightly to my chest. I looked at the poor dinosaur, knowing he didn’t deserve to have that horrible man take away his last eye. Looking under the sales counter, I saw a letter opener and grabbed it, just in case. Daryl just started showing Carl and me how to kill a walker but looked like I will have to learn things the hard way.

I quietly stood up, hunched over so my head and bright pink coat wouldn’t be noticeable in case he did come into the bookstore. I peeked around the counter to see nothing but the books on the floor and scattered fallen bookshelves. I scanned the room and saw a spiral staircase leading up to the second floor. No one ever looks high up.

I quickly darted to the stairs, feeling dizzy moving too fast, but I clutched onto the railing with my other hand. I finally made it to the second floor and behind a table that was knocked to the floor when the man came into the bookstore. Quietly, I stayed hunched down, not wanting my colorful coat to give me away.

“You know,” He growled, kicking away some books in his way, ”when I get my hands on you for letting go of those ankle-biters,” I closed my eyes and bit my lips, “you’re going to wish you were like them.”

* * *

I sat up, panting, eyes darting around the darkroom. Lips trembling, I curled in on myself, leaning my head on my knees, and took deep breaths. I stayed like that, listening to the quietness of the night, trying to calm my pounding heart. Sighing, I lifted my head and rubbed my eyes, frustrated with the memory coming at the worst time possible. I looked up at the closed cell door, my only defense in case someone turned into a walker overnight.

Seeing the door was still shut, I laid my head back on my pillow, feeling a bit better.

I felt for Toothless, pulling the dragon in front of me, readying to sleep as a little voice in the back of my head reminded me that the cell door can only keep out the dead. It wouldn’t keep out Karen or David’s killer.

Pulling the toy to my face, I reminded myself the killer hurt Karen and David because they were sick. I wasn’t sick. The killer wouldn’t hurt me as long as I wasn’t sick. I started counting in my head trying to get back to sleep. I didn’t get past twenty when a loud cough echoed in the block.

* * *

A hand ran itself through my knotted hair, “Cielo, honey,” Maggie’s sweet voice reached my ears, “did you sleep?”

I shook my head, plopping the spoonful of oatmeal back into the bowl, appetite nearly nonexistent. Grandpa went to Block A last night. He was the one who was coughing when I woke up. He didn’t let me come near him as he left Block C. Then there was Carol who was also on quarantine watch even though she didn’t look sick. It was because she was near the sick people. So to be safe, she couldn’t be near anything to spread the sickness further. That meant Lisa had to be the one to cook and the oatmeal didn’t taste the same if Lisa was the one cooking it. 

This day sucked.

Maggie kept her hand in my hair and slowly moved her fingertips in circles. I followed Maggie’s hand as it was gently scratching my scalp, eyes closing at the soothing sensation it gave. Feeling like I was about to fall over, I jerked my body awake, eyes darting around the room.

“Cielo, why don’t you go back to bed?” Beth suggested worriedly.

Carl jumped in, “You need to sleep. You don’t look good.”

“I can’t,” I told them. “Grandpa is sick and the killer is still somewhere. The killer might kill Grandpa. What if I start sneezing and the killer thinks I’m sick like Grandpa and kills me too? Just like Karen and David?” I asked them, head feeling heavy. “Or if I sleep and people in Block A become walkers, killing Grandpa and everyone in there?”

Heavy silence was the answer to my questions before Michonne stepped in. “Cielo, the killer won’t come anywhere near you. Do you think that we would let the killer hurt you?” The dreads in her hair tilting as her head moved, smiling brightly at me, “Or Merle and Daryl?”

I thought about it. Everyone here would protect me. They always have. Daryl especially. And Merle cares in his own way. “No,” I answered her, feeling a weird itch in me.

“And don’t you worry about the walkers,” Maggie chimed in next to me, “we’ll deal with them in Block A so they will never come to Block C, okay?”

“What about Grandpa?”

Maggie smiled, fingers still in my hair, “Your Grandpa has my dad and Dr. S watching over him and the others. He’ll be fine.”

“‘Kay,” I sighed in defeat, ignoring the weird itch that was building in my chest. I scratched my chest through my shirt, wondering if I was overreacting and my body was causing me more stress or paranoia. Michonne smiled at me, bumping my chin with her hand gently.

Michonne looked at Maggie, “I’m heading out to help get antibiotics for everyone in Block A. It’s gonna take a whole day to come and go, see you all later.”

“Is your leg better?” I asked and she laughed.

“A scratch isn’t going to hold me down,” she joked as she left. I watched the tall woman leave, katana secured safely on her back, silently hoping that all would go well for her and the others looking for the medicine. 

I felt a gentle poke in my side as things felt like they were rattling in me from the nerves. “Off you go.”

Pouting, I moved to get out of the seat, nearly stumbling as I tried to get out. “I’m going to bed. Save my oatmeal?”

“Take it with you, keep it safe in your room,” Carl suggested. 

“‘Kay,” I responded and grabbed the bowl, walking carefully back to bed. I rubbed my eyes once more and stumbled, dropping the oatmeal, my hands sliding in the mess as I fell over coughing, relieving the itch that was building up in me.

* * *

Maggie stalked over to the group of people that were readying to leave, her eyes immediately zeroing in on the two Dixons that were packing up the vehicle. Neither Dixon noticed Maggie coming up but Michonne did, not liking the deep furrow between the woman’s brows. “Maggie?”

Michonne called out, bringing everyone’s attention to the brunette.

“Something wrong?” Bob asked, setting his backpack into the trunk of the car the two hunters were organizing. Maggie didn’t say a word other than giving Daryl a distraught look. He froze, shaking his head.

“No, she ain’t sick, she’s pretending that she-” Daryl was cut off by Maggie.

“She was coughing up a storm on the way to A. She wasn’t faking it, Daryl. She’s terrified.” Maggie looked over at Michonne before focusing her gaze back on the disbelieving man. “She cried all the way there, Daryl. The harder she was crying, the harder she was coughing. That isn’t someone faking it.”

“Bambi’s tough, she ain’t gonna let some flu get the best of her,” Merle growled out. Michonne sighed, looking at the argumentative man.

“It’s not the flu she’s worried about. She thinks that the killer would come after her if they knew she was sick like they did to David and Karen.”

Daryl’s jaw twitched and Merle shifted, rubbing the bottom of his jaw harshly, eyes darkening by the second. Daryl slammed the trunk closed harder than necessary, about to start pacing when he calmed down slightly, “Tyreese is guarding the door. He ain’t gonna let no one in. She’s safe.” His voice was full of emotion that he was keeping tightly wrapped up, glaring heatedly at the trunk of the car in front of him.

Maggie frowned, crossing her arms, “He wasn’t there when I took her.”

Daryl’s head sharply looked up at the woman with a fierce glare, “Where did he go?”

“Looks like he decided to join the party,” Merle spat, eyes zeroing in on the large man walking over to them with pursed lips. He kicked at the ground as he leaned into the car, waiting to hear the words he already knew were going to come out of the vengeful man. 

“Thought you were gonna stay watch?” Daryl argued, his entire body coiled, ready to strike.

Tyreese shouldered the gun he brought with him, determination set in his eyes, “I’m going. You said more hands to bring back the medicine is better than standing there, well, here I am.”

Merle pushed off the car, “I’m keeping an eye out for Bambi.” He met Daryl’s eyes that held a silent conversation with the younger man. Merle then met Maggie’s eyes, “Ain’t gonna let some fucking asshole go on a killing spree,” He stated before he stalked over to the building he was about to leave behind. 


	42. He's back...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost didn't upload the chapter but after the response from the last one I kinda felt bad not doing so.
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and comments!
> 
> Enjoy!

Everything was burning and freezing all at the same time. If I pulled up the blanket, I was too hot. Take it off and it was too cold. Keep it half on and half off and it was as if I didn’t have anything there. I’m sure Herschel came by and handed me a cup to drink. I didn’t know what it was but it helped my throat feel better. It felt like Michonne’s cat statue managed to come to life and reached its paw down my throat and scratched it all up. 

The coughing didn’t hurt in the beginning but now it does. My chest felt heavy and crackly. It was like someone was sitting on me and didn’t want to get up. It made breathing so hard and if I breathed too deep, it would start up a coughing fit. I felt like I had to cough something out but nothing was coming up. I whimpered, rubbing my face into the pillow, wishing it would stop. The sound of the door slamming closed was muffled in my ears but I recognized that sound before things got bad.

Coming in, I immediately looked for Grandpa and he didn’t look like he was doing too good. Grandpa was lying down on the bed, coughing up a lung when I saw him. There was sweat beading up the sides of his ashen face, unaware that I even came in his room. It took me a good moment of shaking his hand that he realized I was in isolation with him. And even then, he started to drift off, almost like he wasn’t here anymore. Sasha and Glenn both managed to drag me away from Grandpa and put me in a room next to him, to make me feel better.

At first, I was restless, seeing even Lizzie come into the isolation ward not long after I did. Walking up to the door to see Merle guarding the place from the outside gave me some comfort but there was as much danger inside with me as there was outside, but I think it comforted Merle as much as it did for me, so I popped up every once in a while. In the meantime, I looked at Herschel and Glenn, telling them to give me something to do. So far, the four of us- five if you included Lizzie but she wanted Glenn to tuck her in bed- were the only people that weren’t that sick. Thankfully, Herschel was doing fine, with no sight of being sick in his future. Dr. S didn’t do too good when I saw him.

I helped them with small things, like giving them water and changing the rags on their heads to keep them cool. Glenn helped Herschel with the hard stuff, like making sure Mr. Jacobsen wouldn’t turn into a walker. At one point, I thought Herschel left the isolation room but I think that’s when things started getting fuzzy for me too. Glenn was the last one of us standing when he had me go to my room, tucking me in bed as he did with Lizzie.

I groaned, hearing someone arguing, unsure who would even have the energy to argue in the first place. Everything hurt.

A new coughing fit came over as I tried to breathe in some air with my mouth, desperate to get more in my lungs. A hand rubbed my back, shifting me to lay down the other way, brushing the edges of my hair away from my face. I groaned at the cool hand that wiped across my forehead, trying to reach out for it and keep it where it was. I finally found it and kept it on my head, feeling relieved at the coolness the large item brought with it. A wheeze escaped me as I settled in, letting the darkness take me with it.

Feeling a breeze, I blinked my eyes open, seeing that I was being carried around in the hall of isolation. Extremely confused, I lifted my head, the effort aching the muscles in my neck as I turned to stare at who was carrying me. I recognized the crinkled blue eyes behind the mask, rasping out a “Merle?”

“Hey, there Bambi, good to see ya,” he answered, a bit choked.

“It hurts,” I told him, leaning my head back on his shoulder, pressing my head into his neck. “You sick, too?”

“Nah,” he answered, hand rubbing my back, “just making sure that jackass ain’t gonna come in and hurt ya.”

“Promise?” I asked. I’m not even sure why I asked, he already said that’s why he was here. Keep me safe from the killer. It’s probably because I was getting groggy again. 

“Promise,” he whispered, taking on a dark tone, “they ain’t gettin’ near ya if I got somethin’ to say about it.”

I sighed contently. Or tried to sigh, it was coming out like a wheeze. “Daddy?” I rubbed my head into the side of his neck, trying to steal the coldness that his skin was emitting to my warm one. My eyes were feeling heavy.

He chuckled forcibly, “Ya daddy should be comin’ back with medicine any second now.”

“Grandpa?”

Merle didn’t answer straight away and if he did, I wasn’t sure. I think I went back to sleep because when I was waking up again there was a gunshot and screams. I pushed up off my bed, seeing a glass of water and a pitcher on the desk next to the bed, the thirst I felt winning over the fear. Licking my dry lips, I sat up, ignoring the muscles that were screaming at me and took the glass of water. I was gulping it down when I saw a body shuffle past my door, fingers curled into claws, snarling. 

Terrified, I reached my side, feeling for the hunting knife I kept on me, and was relieved that no one took it off. I put the glass down, as quiet as I could, seeing my gun resting on the desk too. I grabbed that instead, taking the gun off safety as I got out of the bed, walking to the edge of my cell. The walker that shuffled past my room was sneaking up on Merle, who was stabbing another walker that had a grip on his knifeless metal brace. 

Aiming, I shot the walker down, startling Merle as he turned to see the walker behind him tumble down. He was not expecting me to be standing, let alone able to hold up a gun. Walking up to him, I looked down to see who it was that I shot and felt my throat clog up. “Grandpa?” I whimpered, kneeling down next to what was the walker. I grabbed his head and turned it towards me, looking at the face, to make sure that it wasn’t Grandpa.

Sure enough, it was someone who looked like him from the back of the head. 

The sound of glass breaking had Merle and I looking over our shoulders to see Maggie was desperately trying to get in. Seeing the reason for her desperation, I went to aim again when a hand grasped onto my arm, pulling me towards the catwalk. Shrieking, I took my finger off the trigger, not wanting to shoot someone by accident and turned to see Henry biting around the tube in his mouth. Merle stomped hard onto Henry's arm, the bones underneath it crushing, and the newly turned walkers grip loosened up enough I could pull my arm out its grip.

He turned and pulled me up, surveying the room around him for any other walkers that might sneak up on either of us. Maggie managed to save Herschel, who turned once more to the walker that would have taken the opportunity to bite me if it wasn’t for the device in its mouth. “If you can get the air pump, I can save Glenn.” He shouted at the both of us. 

Merle didn’t think twice by pulling up the walker back onto the catwalk, shoving his knife in the side of its head. The walker immediately dropped to the floor next to who I recognized as Harvey, slamming down on the air pump Glenn needed. Hands already covered in walker blood, I reached over and started to untie the pump from its head, pulling on the tube out of its mouth. Maggie ran up and grabbed it from me just in time to distance herself from me as I broke out into another cough.

“Let it out,” Merle uttered to me, helping me stand up, not caring if his mask was around his neck. I leaned on Merle, looking into the room where I last saw Grandpa, the cell door to his room closed. Peering past the metal bars, I saw his body still laying down on the bed, a pitiful moan coming from the room. Hearing the sound calmed me, knowing that he was still alive, even if he was hurting.

I grasped onto Merle’s pants leg, feeling a bit woozy from the sudden movement, keeping my gaze focused on Grandpa’s room. I shook my head, trying to get rid of the weird feeling, and looked tiredly up at Merle, ”Daddy?”

Merle took one last look around before sheathing his knife, patting the top of my head, “Not here yet, Bambi. Let’s get you in bed and drink up some water, huh?”

I nodded, letting him guide me back to my little room, the adrenaline from before leaving my body, feeling tired to my bones. I think sleeping is the best way to beat this if they don’t get back from getting the medicine. I felt loads better than before. Maybe after a glass of water I can sleep some more and will feel a whole lot better than I did now. I didn’t feel as cold anymore but everything was still hot.

Merle had me sit back in the bed as he refilled my glass of water. I wiped my dirty hands on my pants, not knowing how else to clean them, thanking Merle as I grabbed the bottom of the glass. Merle crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, frowning out at the hallway, listening to Maggie and Herschel shouting at Glenn. I drank my water, somewhat anxiously and somewhat relieved. Anxious if Glenn was going to make it but the thing that was relieving is that Herschel and Maggie were both there. Neither one would let him die.

The water traveled down my throat, cooling down the burn and smoothing out the cracks it seemed to have. Merle pulled on the bandana he was using as a mask and cleaned his larger hunting knife with it. Biting my cracked lips, I nervously looked up at him.

“Merle,” his head turned towards me, “can you stay till I sleep?”

He frowned worriedly, “Feeling drowsy already?”

I shook my head, “Just feel better if you do.”

Relieved laughter sounded off two cells over, whatever tension Merle had in his shoulders relaxed as he walked over and sat next to me. I basked in the happiness in Maggie’s voice as she spoke to Glenn, leaning into Merle’s arm. He shifted his arm and pulled me closer to his chest, letting me hear his erratic heartbeat, still wound up from earlier. “Love you,” I mumbled into his chest, the weight I felt in my bones taking over.

“Love ya too, Bambi,” he whispered softly, I almost didn’t catch it.

Waking up a second time was a whole lot better than the first. 

Things felt less achy and I didn’t feel like I was hot or cold. I was still thirsty but my throat wasn’t feeling like a desert. Even with all the sleep I had, I was still sleepy!

I started to sit up, ignoring the aching of my body that was still there and froze when a sharp pain tugged at my arm. “Ow,” the pitiful whine left me as I looked to see my arm was hooked to an IV line full of fluids. Sighing, I reached for the little knob to stop the fluids from falling any further from the bag. Next was to peel off the tape from my arm before pulling out the needle from my arm.

“The hell ya think ya doin’?” A gruff voice entered my room with matching thundering footsteps. 

I jumped, head snapping to see a scowling Daryl kneeling down, pushing down on the vein I just pulled the needle from. I smiled brightly, “You’re back!”

He wasn’t expecting me to wrap my arms around his neck, snuggling into his shoulder. A chuckle echoed in the small cell and we both turned to see Merle smirking from his spot at the doorway. “Feeling better already, that’s for sure.”

“I’m just sleepy. Nothing hurts, just aches,” I informed him, the heavyweight on my shoulders seeming to push me to lay down on the bed.

“Good to know the medicine is kicking in,” Herschel’s voice sounded off behind the burly man. Merle stepped to the side to let the doctor in, exhausted eyes focused on me. Looks like I wasn’t the only one who was tired. 

“Let’s do a vitals check.”

“Well, other than tired I feel fine. My lungs don’t feel like a baby’s rattle and everything isn’t hot or cold anymore-”

“Cielo,” Herschel interrupted me, taking a seat on the bed next to me, “while I don’t doubt what you’re telling me, I would like to make sure myself.”

I eyed the man warily as a thermometer came into view, “How are you gonna take my temperature?”

One of the medical books he had me read about taking body temperatures said one method was rectally, and when I asked, Dr. S had a good laugh before telling me. Neither one had the chance to tell me exactly  **when** it was a good idea to use said method. Herschel chuckled, knowing what I was thinking, “You hold the thermometer under your tongue like normal. The other method is for babies.”

He held out the thermometer and I placed it under my tongue, relieved. Daryl’s mouth opened to ask the question when I slammed my small hand over his mouth, waving the other to signal not to ask. Daryl’s lips quirked into a smirk under my hands as Merle chuckled, “Yup, she’s fine.”

Herschel grabbed the hand I was waving around and held his fingers over my wrist, taking my pulse. I removed my hand from Daryl’s mouth and moved it into his vest, clutching it tightly so he wouldn’t go just yet. Herschel finally nodded, pleased with what he found before pulling out the thermometer, and smiled, “Temperature is back to normal, pulse is strong and steady, let me check her lungs, and then she should be good to go.”

My eyes widened in realization, “Grandpa?”

“Yer old man is out of the woods but it took a toll on him,” Merle declared. I let out a deep breath in relief at the news, quickly turning my head to the side as a cough racked my body, trying to smother it in a hand. My throat burned at the sudden irritation. Whining, I reached for the pitcher of water that was still there.

“Seems like the cough isn’t completely gone,” Herschel tiredly sighed before looking up at Merle, “I’ll bring some more elderberry tea her way when it’s done.”

Merle nodded in appreciation and I leaned further into Daryl, who shifted uncomfortably on the ground. Daryl wrapped an arm around me and started to lean me back in the bed, but I whined, refusing to go to sleep. “No, if I lay down I’ll go back to sleep, I know it.”

“Well, I ain’t gonna be on my knees all day.” He grimaced getting up. 

“Let go of ya Daddy, he ain’t any younger,” Merle goaded the both of us.

“But I don’t want Daddy to leave again,” I whined to Merle, feeling sleep start to take over again and I jerked to a sitting position, rubbing my eye with the other hand that wasn’t holding onto Daryl. I really didn’t want him going anywhere. He just got back.

It was silent for a moment. I blinked out the dark spots from my vision as I focused in on Daryl’s face. The man searched my face while keeping his emotionless, the only thing to betray him was his eyes, swimming full of emotion. I let go of his vest and ran my fingertips along his cheek, “What’s wrong?” I asked, but a yawn followed the question immediately.

“Nothin’,” Daryl choked out. He quickly moved back and grabbed the pitcher I was reaching for before. He was filling the glass as Merle said something that froze me over several times.

“Ya called him ‘Daddy’,” He teased. 

My face felt warm as he put the pitcher back down, too nervous to look at Daryl as the glass was placed in front of me. “I’m sorry,” I muttered, grasping the glass with two sweaty hands, “don’t be mad. I won’t do it again.” I bit my chapped lips nervously. He wasn’t going to look at me again. He was gonna ignore me like before and it’s gonna take at least a week before he would think to even talk to me again.

“What are you talking about?” Daryl sounded puzzled but I didn’t dare look up at him. I kept biting my lip, unsure of what Daryl was trying to say. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing and set him off. “Hey,” Daryl knelt down where we were eye to eye, his eyes were searching for something in mine, “I ain’t mad at ya.”

“You're not?” I whispered, afraid if I talked louder it would make things worse. Daryl sighed, running a hand through his hair before looking back up, looking at my hopeful face. He stood up and sat next to me, wanting to reach out to me but changing his mind last second. 

“Nah, I ain’t. Just surprised.”

“So you won’t ignore me again?” I clenched tighter to the glass in my hand.

“When did I ignore you?”

“When I told you that you were a better daddy than James,” I was amazed. Did he really not remember how he wouldn’t even talk to me? How can he forget that? “You didn’t talk to me all day and the one time someone mentioned me you told them I wasn’t your kid.”

Seeing him wince told me he remembered just fine.

“That’s cause ya ain’t my kid,” He started but seeing my crestfallen expression made him backtrack. “Just ‘cause ya ain’t my kid don’t mean I don’t care about ya.”

I blinked up at him, “Really?”

He nodded, “Really.”

“Trust me, Bambi,” I looked over to a smirking Merle,”yer the closest thing he got to a little girl just like he is a daddy to ya. He’s just too shy to admit it.” I looked over at Daryl seeing him furiously glare at his older brother. A smile grew on my face as I knew what Merle was saying was true. Merle kept on, “Damn ripped my head off when I made ya cry a week back. Don’t get me started when I-”

“Merle,” Daryl growled out, ears turning red.

“I’m just happy to help, baby brother.” Was the cheeky reply.

I raised the glass of water to my lips feeling calmer. He wasn’t mad. The relief filled my entire body as I heard the two brothers bicker over my head. I giggled at them into my glass. Both stopped to look down at me and I leaned into Daryl’s arm extremely content. I just blinked up at them as I took a long sip from the glass, both men suppressing their grins. Finished with the glass, I turned my eyes solely on Daryl, “Am I really your little girl?”

Daryl seemed to choke on air as Merle barked out into a laugh. I really wanted to know. All I ever wanted is to have a dad who would love me and take care of me, just like Daryl does. All the girls from daycare were daddy’s girls and their daddy’s loved them very much. Daddy’s always loved their little girls, no matter how old they got. Look at Herschel with Maggie and Beth. Both were daddy’s girls and they were Herschel’s little girls even though Maggie is married and Beth isn’t little anymore. Until he says it, it doesn’t feel real. He knew I called him my daddy when he wasn’t around and now I went and called him one, even if it was by accident. 

Again. 

Daryl looked away, face turning as red as his ears were. “Your dad was an idiot.” I tilted my head in confusion, trying to look at his face better to try and understand what he even meant. He looked back at me with a small smile, “You're the best kid a dad can have.”

I smiled ear to ear, pushing up to wrap my arms around his neck, rubbing my cheek against his. The glass slipped from my fingers but Daryl quickly snatched the falling glass from the air, huffing. “I would give you a kiss on the cheek but I dunno if I can yet.” I giggled, ecstatic that he said I was his kid in Daryl speak. 

“Probably shouldn’t be breathing on him in the first place,” Merle murmured from his spot on the wall. 

I pouted at Merle, “Let me have my moment.”

Both snickered but Daryl gently unwrapped himself from my arms, “Take it easy and don’t push yourself just yet.”

“She’s fine,” Merle assured, “she’s already back talking. Give her one more day and she’ll be running the place if ya let her.”

“That’s comforting to hear,” Herschel returned with the stethoscope.

“How’s Glenn?” I asked, sitting as close as I could to Daryl.

“He’ll live to have his first anniversary,” Herschel grinned at me as he placed the earpieces in his ears. He placed the diaphragm of the stethoscope on my chest as I gasped in shock.

“It’s almost a year already?” The question managed to leave my mouth but it was quickly followed up by the cough from gasping earlier. I felt Daryl’s arm shift before a hand patted the top of my head soothingly. Herschel grimaced a bit, “Lungs still sound rough but I’ll give a dose of the antibiotics to take after dinner, she’ll be fine.”

“Bambi’s a Dixon, ain’t gonna let some flu win,” Merle announced to Herschel. He sent a wink my way, which I returned with another ear to ear smile. If I didn’t have to worry about getting into a coughing fit, I would be running up to Merle with a hug before running out and telling the others I was a Dixon now. 

“A Dixon, huh?” The eye crinkle hid the tiredness Herschel wore on his face before. “So you decided to take her in under your wing?”

Daryl stood up, scoffing, “Girl’s been under my wing from the get-go.” He turned and tapped my cheek, “Gonna go find Rick, see what else needs to be done.”

I nodded, my smile not fading anytime soon, “‘Kay.” Daryl left the small cell, hitting Merle on the way out, but the man laughed as it tickled him instead. I rolled my eyes at their antics to Herschel who cleared his throat to avoid laughing at the men.

Herschel patted his knee, thinking as he took one look at me and smiled softly, “Finally someone’s little girl, huh?”

“A daddy’s little girl,” I corrected Herschel before looking over his shoulder, “with the best uncle a girl can ask.” Merle really has been the best. He stayed here with me in the isolation block to protect me from the killer. Was fighting walkers before I was even aware of what was going on. 

He could have gotten **sick** !

Merle acknowledged what I said by running his thumb over his chin with a grin, “Atta girl, Bambi. That earned ya another chocolate bar.”

I gasped, “You have another-” I had to stop to let out another cough. Herschel patted my back as my body shook with each one that time, wincing. 

“The elderberry tea should be done in a bit.” He promised. I groaned pitifully in response. 

“I’m just gonna lay down now,” I told them, chest aching and burning after that last cough attack.

“If anything, we’ll wake you up for dinner,” Herschel promised.

“I hope that means Carol can cook again,” I murmured into the pillow, eyes closing. My little comment was still heard by the two men.

* * *

I was cleared by Herschel to go back to my room after breakfast. After devouring the oatmeal, I made sure I had my knives and gun on me before checking on Grandpa once more before leaving Block A. Grandpa still wasn’t doing too good. I know Merle said he was out of the woods but it didn’t look like he was to me. Quickly asking Herschel to check up on Grandpa before I left told me that Merle wasn’t lying. He was doing better but it looks like the flu got its hooks back in him.

Herschel assured he would be fine now that we had the medicine. It would just take longer for him than it did for me and the other kids. I stayed a little longer to see that everyone still in their beds was as old as Grandpa or already had issues like Ms. McLeod’s asthma. Frowning, I left Grandpa in Herschel’s care, knowing I couldn’t do much after just getting better myself. I could come back later to see if Herschel wanted any help, like making elderberry tea. I could go out and get it or make it, whichever he preferred. 

Sighing, I looked around my little room, wondering where to even begin. Herschel recommended changing the sheets from the bed to put them to boil before a wash and put clean ones. To clean the surfaces to make sure they were disinfected. It honestly sounded like a lot of work but I don’t want to take the chance of getting sick again. The idea of being back in Block A sweating through my clothes and coughing up a lung was at the bottom of my list of things to do.

I dropped the bucket filled with soap water and a scrubber that has seen better days. I cringed looking at it, the sudden urge to run and take a shower by the scrubber's appearance made my skin crawl and itch. Figuring I was going to break into a sweat cleaning the room, no point in taking a shower just yet. I dunked the scrubber in the bucket before getting to work.

I was halfway done when I heard a surprised gasp sound behind me. Turning around, I saw Beth standing there, wondering what she wanted. “Are you cleaning the room by yourself?”

“Yeah?” 

I internally cringed at how my answer came out like it was a question. Beth frowned at me, rolling up the sleeves of a button-up shirt I recognized as one of Zach's, "Let me do it. You're going to get sick again if you overdo it."

"I-" was the furthest I got before she grabbed the scrubber and ushered me out. Shrugging, I let her take over and reached under the bed for my bag, "I'm gonna take a shower."

I learned it was easier to stuff everything I needed into the backpack than carry it by hand. Beth hummed in acknowledgment as I left, skipping to the showers ready to wash the past three days worth of sweat, dirt, and grime. On the way, I waved to Rick and Carl who were gathering the garden tools. I didn’t stay long to talk to either Grimes, the shower was calling to me.

On the way, I also ran into Lizzie who seemed to have the same idea. We both glared at each other for a moment before my need to shower won. I huffed as I walked past her and went to get everything ready to shower, now that private stalls were placed between each shower head, it wasn't as weird as being out in the open. Lizzie seemed to gather up whatever nerve she had and did the same, completely ignoring me.

My shower, which was supposed to be relaxing, was anything but. I scrubbed as fast as I could and washed my hair as quickly as possible with one of the shampoo and conditioner bottles that were placed in the stall beforehand. I didn’t mind the fruity smell but it definitely wasn't berries like the bottle said.

Drying off, I put on fresh clean clothes that didn't smell of sweat. Lizzie was still showering when I ran off, double-checking my knife was still hidden in the boot and Lizzie didn't snatch it.

On the way back, I went to look for Carol in the cafeteria and kitchen. I didn’t find her in either place, just Lisa. Frowning, I turned to the mousy brown-haired woman, "Lisa, do you know where Carol is?"

She smiled sadly at me, "Sorry, hun. Haven't seen her since yesterday when she left with Rick."

"Oh," I was surprised at that, "thanks. I'll ask Rick."

She nodded and went back to loading the dishes on a cart. Frowning, I turned to leave when a loud explosion shook the prison walls, the sound ringing in my ears. I held onto the doorway, listening as the dishes Lisa put away rattled, some crashing onto the ground. The shaking of the building lasted just a few seconds but those seconds were absolutely terrifying.

We both froze, unsure of what was going on before a second explosion rocked the building hard enough bits of concrete drizzled from above us. That shook Lisa out of her frozen state, "Stay here, I'll check what's going on."

I looked at her in disbelief but before I could tell her it was a bad idea, she was gone. It was quiet again but I knew it wasn't going to stay quiet. Last time the building was being attacked was because of the Governor and he was still out there somewhere. I remember the damage he made to the watchtowers before and he would more than likely do it again. My guess was that he was back with more people. 

I ran towards the kitchen and slung the backpack in front of me, scanning the shelves for the canned food and not the spices. Seeing them, I started stacking them in my bag, looking around to see if there was anything but the cans I could put in. Seeing nothing, I saw Judith’s pureed food that Carol and Lisa have been canning for her. I stacked those in too.

Zipping up the bag, I started running to my room, seeing others run around themselves, gathering the guns and passing it to someone else. I ran into the room and ripped open the box full of clean clothes, tearing out the dirty clothes. I didn't have time to fold them the way Mami taught me to make sure the cans wouldn't rattle. Opening the second large pocket I grabbed the picture of Mami and Abuela and the small book Herschel gave me for Christmas. 

I grabbed the bow and quiver on the way out to Carl's room, knowing he would want to keep his mom's picture too. He was nice enough to bring me mine so I wanted to do the same for him. A loud scream left me as a hole suddenly blew in the wall in front of me, rubble and pieces of concrete flying everywhere. I dropped down curling up with the backpack lying next to me. When the dust and rubble let up, I checked to see if it was safe. My horrified eyes immediately noticed what was once Merle’s room completely destroyed. I was frozen on the floor staring at the giant hole that used to be Merle’s room when gunfire from the courtyard echoed in the block. 

I jumped up, running to Carl's room and snatching the picture he had on a table. I stuffed it in and threw both the quiver and backpack on my back as I made my way towards the stairs. Briefly glancing out the hole as I ran down the stairs, my eyes would have bulged out of my skull at the sight of a tank mowing down our fences if they could. My lungs were burning from running this hard so soon, especially after breathing in that cloud of dust, and the quick idea of running back to the infirmary for medicine sounded great but I knew it was a death trap if that tank kept blowing holes in the building. 

As I continued down the stairs, I noticed my body was covered in powdered dust from the concrete walls, leaving small trails behind me. I finally landed on the ground floor behind Gianni as he opened the door to the courtyard and screamed as his entire body shook with bullets, dodging to the side, away from the door. I didn't dare to turn around as his body fell to the ground, deciding that maybe running by the infirmary wouldn't be a bad idea and leave by the side door instead. 

A few rough coughs forced their way out of me, forcing me to stop running, my lungs burning. Other people ran past me, gathering people they knew and loved, and guns. Not wanting to stop, I walked quickly down to the infirmary, seeing the infirmary door ripped open and a few people run out. I huffed, frustrated that it would be slim picking but between food and medicine, at least I got the food and whatever bit of medicine I could grab. 

I ripped the door open to see a complete disaster. In their hurry to grab anything, they had thrown things they deemed useless on the floor, scattering the organized system Herschel had me put everything in. Another rumble to the building had me scanning what was left on the shelves, seeing the bottles of alcohol gone along with the pain medication. Hissing, I turned to one of the cabinets hoping that the alcohol wipes were still safely stashed away. 

I pulled the backpack off me and grabbed the two boxes, smashing them in with the canned foods. I moved things around in the cabinet and smiled ear to ear at extra antibiotics that were stashed away. Herschel was an absolute genius. 

I stuffed those in too, closing the bag when the door slammed open again. "Bambi?!"

I popped my head over the cabinet, seeing a panicked Merle instantly zero in on my head peeking over the cabinet. Relief was briefly on his face before he scowled, "Hell ya doin'? Ya gotta get on the bus before it leaves."

I ran over, settling the bag and quiver over my shoulder, "What bus?"

He pushed me in front of him, towards the exit I was planning on using to begin with, "The bus we got everyone from Block A on. I want ya to go with them and we'll meet up later. Ya Grandpa is on the bus waiting for ya."

He grabbed my wrist and moved me to hide behind him, pulling out the gun from his waistband as he opened the door. Braced to shoot, there was no one on the other side, and he pushed the door open wider so I could slide by him. We both jogged down the stairs, my lungs starting to itch back into another burn.

"I can't go too fast, my lungs start burning and I start coughing again," I warned him. Wincing at the sound of gunfire. “The dust doesn’t help.”

His head snapped to me with a deep frown before looking around again not liking the issue I had but he didn’t say another word. He knew I couldn't help it. I noticed the determination settle on his face before he turned back to me, wiping off the dust on my face, "Listen, carefully. I need ya to run as fast as ya can to the car parked over here. Ya can take a breather but if I say 'Go', ya keep moving to where I say to go, got it."

I nodded, heart thundering in my chest, another explosion rumbled the ground we stood on, overpowering the heavy artillery being shot both ways. "Pull out ya gun, just in case, shoulder the bow."

I did as he instructed, nervously looking at the other side of the building. I bit down on my lip as Merle looked around the corner one more time, "Go!"

I ran around the corner, eyes darting for the car Merle mentioned, and saw it directly in front of me, gun clenched in hand. I made it to the car, lungs not burning as bad as before but definitely far from happy with me. I tried to even out my breath, scared that if I breathed too deep it would go into another coughing fit, and I can't stop. 

Not like before. 

Not now.

I looked over my shoulder as heavy footsteps sounded behind me, seeing Merle take cover behind the car with me, scouting routes over my head. His eyes were calculating before he seemed to find a safe stop. "Alright, best bet is to run straight for the bus."

I turned around looking for the bus and felt my heart plummet. "Merle," I shook my head, "that's too far."

"Nah, ya can make that. I've seen ya run," he assured me. I turned back to him as he looked for any unfriendlies over the car.

"That was before I got sick!"

"I'll cover ya the whole way," he grinned over at me as I said nothing, "Uncle Merle ain't letting ya go by yerself."

I pouted, not having an argument to that. It was somewhat comforting to know he would be with me but I knew he could still get hit. It happened to Daryl when he was covering us before. I didn’t realize how lucky he was until now that it was just his leg that got shot. They could have kept shooting at him. "Don't get hit," I ordered with a heatless glare. 

He chuckled bitterly, “That’s the plan. Go!”

I ran for the bus, seeing Merle from the corner of my eye, keeping the blue bus in sight. Dirt near my feet kicked up, forcing me to pump my legs harder, ignoring the burn building in my lungs. I panted, some of them turning into heavy wheezes as I breathed out. The bus wasn’t much further when I felt the tickle forming in my throat, chest on fire from within. One cough managed to choke itself out of my throat but that was more than a warning for Merle. He ran ahead of me and knelt down, wrapping his right arm around my knees, and lunged back up into a run for the bus. 

Everything in the backpack shifted uncomfortably over my head as I coughed heavily into his back, feeling smothered. Each step he took had the bag bouncing harshly into the back of my head, metal cans rattling in my ear louder than the bullets flying through the air. When I felt him going down on his knee, he settled my feet safely on the ground, allowing me to comfortably continue to cough up the lung that was screaming at me.

My face felt warm, cheeks red from the force of the coughs leaving my mouth. Merle worriedly looked on as I did, “Take a breath, Bambi.”

I looked to see people were still boarding the bus, clearly, not everyone from Block A was on it just yet. Merle followed my gaze, “Ya Grandpa already on there, he’s saving ya a seat in the back.”

My brows furrowed as I managed to breathe easier, “You aren’t coming?”

The panic built in me as he gave me a crooked smile, “Nah, gotta stay and help out here.”

“You and Daryl will come after, right?” 

I hated how mousy my voice was but Merle forced one of his biggest grins, “What kind of question is that?”

I bit my lip nervously, eyeing the grey jasper I had given him, noticing another necklace around his neck. I reached over and tugged the silver chain out of his shirt. Seeing it was long enough, I pulled it over his head, clutching on to it. “I’ll give it back to you when you both find me.”

An earnest laugh escaped Merle, eyes darting up to the sky filled with mirth as he looked back at me, grin genuine. “Alright,” he nodded, “I can agree to that.”

“Maggie, no,” Glenn pleaded, as Maggie dragged him towards the bus. Merle and I looked at the married couple, seeing Maggie plead with Glenn to get on the bus, to stay safe. I frowned at the pale man, seeing he wasn’t fully healed himself but kept quiet, knowing it wasn’t my place to say anything. I looked back at Merle, lips trembling, wanting to say something but he poked my cheek.

“Be seeing ya, Bambi.”

A whimper left me as I wrapped my arms around his neck, “I’ll be mad if you don’t!”

He pulled me in, hugging me tight, resting his head on top of mine. “Nah, I don’t want ya takin’ another bite of me.” I choked out a laugh, feeling my nose and throat close up. I pulled away as he eased up his grip, giving him a kiss on his cheek.

“And you better have my other chocolate bar too.” I sniffed, hoping he would laugh at my little joke. He tapped my cheek just as a loud explosion rumbled behind the bus, dirt flying up everywhere. He stood quickly, pushing me towards the bus, growling at the close attack.

“Grenades!” Someone yelled.

Too scared to argue, I turned and ran past Glenn, who just stood on the steps of the bus in horror. I scanned the seats of extremely sick and other children to see that Grandpa was at the very back. Careful to not damage the bow, or smack anyone with what was behind me, I slowly made my way to Grandpa. He coughed into an elbow, eyes rimmed red with exhaustion and still sweating from the fever. Feeling sorry for Grandpa, I placed a small hand on his cheek, unsure if he was fully aware of what was going on.

I sat in the seat next to him, using the extra space to safely place my bow and quiver down before the heavy backpack. My shoulders were immediately relieved at the weight being removed from my back. I briefly glanced at the window in the back of the bus, taking in the dark plumes of the building and watchtowers that were destroyed, looking for where Merle had disappeared. The Governor’s new people running across our courtyard, guns raised, shooting at those I shared a roof with. Walkers were filling the field, adding another enemy to watch out for, these being far more quiet and deadly when they swarm you.

“Glenn, we have to go! Get in!” Claire, the one driving the bus, shouted at Glenn.

“No, I have to look for Maggie, you guys go if you have to.” I heard the man’s response but not long after he said something, the bus roared to life. Looking out the glass window, I saw faces I didn’t recognize look and aim at the bus. Quickly, I dodged and curled up in the back seat, not wanting any part of me sticking out for a bullet to hit.

The sound of bullets hitting the bus reminded me of nearly two years ago, when we were first surviving the winter after walkers took over the world. How I was hiding behind that car, clutching onto Terry for dear life, hoping we would all make it after our first run in. I heard the bus hit something hard enough that it slowed the bus for a short moment before it kept going, the sound of metal grazing the top of the bus, a loud bang as it landed behind the bus. I waited a bit longer to see if the bus was still being shot at but I didn’t hear anything other than the engines roar.

Sitting up, I looked out the back door window seeing what was my home for nearly a year up in smoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you guys know....I did kill Merle off in this chapter until I figured he could stick around a little longer...I save him once and that's enough. Just cause I don't kill the characters in the same spot as the show doesn't mean I won't do so later onnnnn. :)


	43. This isn't real...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad you all enjoyed the last chapter, here is this Monday's weekly chapter.
> 
> Be warned, this chapter isn't exactly full of cheer.
> 
> Thanks once again, as I'll say every chapter till the day I write the last, thank you for comments and kudos!
> 
> PS.   
> I began to upload this at 5:50pm and it is not 6:53pm because I decided to add at least another paragraph more *insert eye roll* I need to leave things be sometimes...

My head was leaning against the window, staring blankly at the trees that were flying past me, wondering where Claire was taking us to. I gripped Merle’s dog tags that I had to wrap around my neck twice to get it to fit right, trying to gather some form of strength from them, just like the man they belonged to. I glanced back down at the words imprinted into the metal. Silently praying he wouldn't take long to come back to me with Daryl. That everyone would be safe. That I would see them all again.  


Sighing, I ignored the coughing of the others on the bus and turned to Grandpa, who took a nap not long after we managed to get away. He was conscious enough to tell me to let him sleep in peace and I understood. The pain was less noticeable if you weren’t awake for it.

Feeling upset and somewhat anxious, I hopped over to Grandpa’s seat, grabbing his hand, looking for one of his hugs to comfort me. He probably wouldn't be happy with me waking him up but all I really wanted was to feel his arm wrapped around me. He could go back to sleep once he gave me that simple request. Grandpa didn't stir as I got into the seat next to him, deeply asleep. I reached out to grab his hand to be able to wrap his arm around me but the second I touched his hand, I knew something was wrong.

It was cold. 

Heart skipping a beat, I let go of his hand and stood up on the seat, trying to take a look at Grandpa’s face. Grandpa’s eyes were closed as his head rested on the glass, just like mine was seconds ago. His mouth was wide open, likely to take in as much air as his lungs would let him, but it all looked wrong. Herschel says it’s important to take vitals. The pulse being one of the most important ones.

Jumping off the seat, I reached for the wrist of the hand I grabbed earlier, over the spot Herschel showed me. I pushed down harder, trying to see if it was a weak pulse, or if I was doing it wrong. I grabbed his wrist with both hands, throat closing in, whimpering. “Grandpa?”

I shook his arm, “Grandpa!”

My shout caught the attention of those close to us, staring in both grief and worry. My chest was feeling heavy and I knew it wasn’t because of the flu. It was heavy for the same reason why my eyes were filled with unshed tears. I yanked his arm hard, whining, “Paw-paw?”

“Honey,” one of the other residents whispered gently to me, “he’s gone.”

I shook my head, not wanting to believe he was gone. He was telling me off not even ten minutes ago to just let him sleep. My lips tried to keep in the wail but I lost the battle over the tears falling from my eyes. A sob choked out as I fell onto the ground, still holding onto Grandpa, “Grandpa!”

The wail came after and I let go of Grandpa, knowing that they were right, brushing away the globs of tears that were running down my face. I wiped my nose with the back of my hand, sniffling, trying to not look like a snotty kid. But my heart was breaking. 

He was gone.

He was gone and wasn’t going to come back.

Not like him.

I lost my Lemon Shark for good.

I was alone again...

A scream at the front of the bus startled us all, seeing Claire’s neck being ripped into by a walker that was sitting behind her from the large mirror upfront, and the bus immediately jerked to the side. I flew backward with the sudden motion and my head slammed hard on the metal floor. Groaning, I continued to slide backward on the floor towards the wall of the bus, not wanting to be in the aisle for any other walkers. My blurry vision immediately became clear as I blinked out the tears, gripping the heavy backpack as I curled up in a ball, needing something to cling to. I left Toothless and Terry behind.

A rasping moan sounded in front of me over the panicking of the others on the bus. Horrified, I looked over to see Grandpa was starting to move, motivated by the screams. I yanked on the heavy backpack on top of me, trying to think about what I could do in the meantime. I couldn’t fight off all the walkers that were waking up. I didn’t even know how many there were other than the one attacking Claire and Grandpa. My only escape was the door to my left, which would mean I have to stand close to Grandpa and hope there wouldn’t be a walker behind me as I tried to open up the door. If I did succeed then there is the fact of the bus still moving. If I jumped out from a moving bus I might hurt myself falling out onto the road. The other exit was far away to my right but that exit was blocked by whichever walker that awoke, not going to be distracted by Claire for long.

Terrified, I kept an eye on Grandpa, trying to stop sniffling from the pain in my heart. It seemed that my sniffles were still loud enough to catch his attention because those milky grey eyes turned to me, skin greyer than what it was a second ago. Not having anywhere to go, I stuffed the backpack under the seat, blocking off the aisle, and hid under the chair. My foot kicked against the wall of the bus, hearing others screaming for their lives, gurgling, choking on what I knew to be their own blood. 

I reached up and covered my ears, trying to muffle the cries as I listened to the reanimated walkers feasting on the others in front of me, tears sliding down my eyes involuntarily. The screams going on for what felt like forever but the whimpering leaving my lips wasn’t any quieter. It was either cover my ears to not hear what was going on or cover my mouth to stop walkers from finding me. Decision made, I moved my shaking hands and brought it up to help muffle the whimpering cries that were escaping me, no matter how much I told myself to stop. A muffled scream ripped out of me as Grandpa’s hand slammed on the floor in front of me, the large body starting to squeeze itself into the narrow space between what was my seat and the person in front of me. 

I pleaded to God, every angel, and whoever would listen to make Grandpa go away. 

I couldn’t do it.

I don’t think I could be the one to stop Grandpa.

I couldn’t be like Carl when he stopped Lori.

His round face managed to be face to face with mine, horrified, I watched as his body tilted to be able to reach me easily, positioning himself to be on his side. His teeth were gnashing closer, the gust of warm air puffing into my face from what used to be Grandpa's mouth, warning me of needing to make a decision. Knowing that no one was coming, that Merle wouldn’t be here this quick, I knew that if I did nothing, I would be just like Jimmy. And Patricia. And Claire. And every other person on this bus that was being eaten alive. 

My fingers brushed the hunting knife I had on my right side, lips wobbling as I cried, “Sorry, Paw-paw.”

I sank the knife into his eye, closing mine immediately after I did, wishing I could forget this moment. Completely forget that I was the one who ended Grandpa just like I forgot what that man did for months before they were coming back. Except this time, I don’t ever want to remember. 

* * *

I waited, curled up under the seat listening to the other walkers quietly growl. Grandpa’s body was hiding me from the others and I knew he would have been happy to know he protected me in this way. It's already been a whole day, my bladder was bursting, and my stomach rumbled on occasion. I didn't dare move to grab anything to eat from my bag. I was terrified of the sounds my stomach was making, believing that was what encouraged a walker to continuously keep coming back this way, but I knew that wasn't true. It took me some time to stop the wailing cries leaving my throat but thankfully, it wasn't loud enough to catch their attention but there would be a moment it would if I started up again. 

My eyes were numbingly staring at Grandpa’s face, his right eye completely mutilated by the hunting knife, leaving the other to blankly stare back at me. I traced the bridge of his nose, knowing that his nose was the same nose I had, it just got bigger as he got older. Suddenly, I wished I had pictures of him and Grandma, hoping he still had his wallet. When Merle came to get me, I could check.

I jumped as one of the walkers slammed into a window with determination. Hope filled in me. 

Merle was here!

Paying better attention, I heard voices by the large door of the bus, the walkers excited for a potential meal started to horde by the back door. I couldn’t see anything past the backpack that blocked the aisle but I heard the back door open just as quickly as it closed. The process repeated a few more times before the amount of walkers pushing out the door won.  When all of the walkers rushed out of the bus, there were shots that sounded off just as fast as the small group of walkers got out of the bus. I waited, just in case it wasn't Merle or the others who found the bus. 

It was silent.

There wasn't a single sound of snarls from the walkers outside and there wasn't anyone talking. I gripped onto Merle’s dog tags, hoping it was him, but I knew it wasn't. Merle wasn't a quiet man like Daryl. He would have been shouting some kind of cuss word and hopped into the bus yelling for me with Daryl. 

"You should let me!" A familiar voice shouted to the person who jumped into the back of the bus. I sighed in relief. 

It was Sasha.

Knee-high boots walked cautiously past me, likely taking in the carnage that happened on the bus. I turned, trying to push Grandpa out of the way. I grunted with the effort, barely making any headway. 

A muffled growl echoed within the bus, alerting me that there was still one walker, and whoever it was that walked in heard it. I listened as they opened up the front exit and a thudding noise of a body rolling out of it before the snarl became louder. A warrior's cry ripped from the person's throat as they ended the walker, the loud sound of a knife plunging into a skull greeting my ears before it was pulled out and sunk back into the walker again. 

I pushed one more time as whoever was in here broke into loud sobs, giving up with a sigh. "Help?" I called out.

The crying stopped immediately and fast footfalls towards the back were the only response I got. "I'm back here," I grunted, reaching a hand out so they could see my hand peek around from Grandpa’s leg.

"Cielo?" Maggie’s shocked voice reached my ears.

"Maggie," I cried, silent tears slipping out of me as she grabbed Grandpa, pulling him away, no longer blocking me in. I rolled out from under the seat to see red-rimmed eyes, a shaky laugh escaped her. I wasn't any better and jumped into her arms, crying with her. 

She wrapped her arms around me, not caring for the mixture of blood and powdered cement I was covered in, the both of us crying for our own reasons. I was crying for losing Grandpa. How I was the one to end him. For the horrible way the others on the bus were massacred by people we knew. People who didn't have a choice as they became mindless creatures caring to sate a hunger that would never end. How I heard their screams, knowing alone I couldn't do anything, feeling their blood pooling on the floor around me. For being found. Especially found by people I knew and trusted.

She pulled away, looking at my face, running her fingers over the side of my face. "Aren't you a ray of sunshine, right now?"

She stood up, reaching over me noticing the bow and quiver on the seat. I knelt down and pulled on the heavy bag that I used as a block, putting it over my shoulders. I put the other two items Maggie held over my shoulder, following her out the back of the bus, waiting for her to turn around and help me down.

Looking over her head, I saw the shocked faces of Sasha and Bob, neither one expecting anyone alive to still be on the bus. Or maybe it was the way I looked. Personally, I don't blame them. Instead, I smiled as best as I could and waved over at them, making Sasha break out into a short laugh. She looked up at Bob and he joined her laughter, delirium hitting him. 

While they were laughing, I took in the walkers that were on the bus with me for a whole day, stomach sinking at the amount. There was definitely no way I would have survived if I tried to make a stand. 

Not even a minute of standing up straight, my bladder made its presence known once more, stronger than before. I took off the bow and quiver, handing them back to Maggie. She grabbed it all confused.

"I really need to pee," I told her, dropping the backpack at her feet, running off to a nearby bush.

"Don’t go far!" Maggie shouted.

I lifted a hand as I undid the jeans button with the other. I hope that I would make it to the bush because my bladder was pushing to let everything go. As soon as I hid behind the bush, instant relief.  I joined them as soon as I was done. I saw Sasha going through my bag and I looked them over a bit closer. They had nothing but the guns and clothes on their backs. Frowning, I realized that there was no way anyone that was fighting had a chance to grab supplies. "Can you grab me one of the alcohol wipes?" I asked her.

Sasha looked at me in disbelief, "The prison was being blown up and you had time to go to the kitchen and infirmary?"

I shrugged, "I was in the kitchen looking for Carol when it happened. Merle found me in the infirmary before putting me on the bus."

"Cielo," Maggie caught my attention as Sasha placed an alcohol wipe in my hands, "where is Glenn?"

I frowned, "He went back for you."

Her green eyes flashed with something before she closed them, the palm of her hands pressing into her eyes. Pulling her hands away, she looked skyward in relief, "He's okay."

We all looked at Maggie as she was relieved to know Glenn wasn't on the bus. I looked back at the blue bus, suddenly remembering what I wanted, walking towards the back of the bus. No one was paying attention as I did, lost in thought, but Bob was the first one to say something as he finally noticed. "Hey, Kid, what are you doing?"

I looked over my shoulder, looking over the newest member from the prison, cradling his shoulder. I frowned at him, unsure of what to think of him, "Checking to see if Grandpa has his wallet. I wanna see if he has a picture of him and Grandma."

Sasha looked up at Maggie, hands still deep in my bag, before looking over at me with a sympathetic expression. "Did he turn or was he…?"

I looked at the group of walkers on the floor, giving her my choked response, "Grandpa was-I di-he wasn't..." 

My lips trembled again, looking into the bus, seeing him lying there in the middle of the aisle. I sniffed, trying to fight back the tears that were filling my eyes once again. It was silent for a few seconds before Sasha whispered her condolences. I bit my lip, nodding, letting her know I heard what she said. I didn't dare look back at them in case seeing their pitying faces would make me break down and cry again.  


I pushed off the bus and walked towards the front to walk up the stairs to get in easily. I ran past the bodies, refusing to look at more familiar faces, refusing to see the tormented faces to match the screams I heard, focusing on just Grandpa. I knelt next to him, looking at his pale face one more time before checking his pockets. I felt the familiar leather wallet he had me get when we ordered pizza on a movie night. The same wallet he paraded to Beth and the others to show that ridiculous picture of me. I opened it up, seeing Grandpa stuffed small pictures where the cards used to be. I pulled a few out, seeing Grandpa and Grandma in one of them on what looked to be their thirty-fourth wedding anniversary before I was ever born. Grandma with Uncle Paul at his twentieth birthday wearing those silly party hats. Grandma with Mami, wrapped around each other with large smiles, soaking in the sun on their back porch. Grandpa, Grandma, and James in a field. The annoying baby picture of me.

I laughed, remembering how mad I was when Grandpa showed it off to everyone, sniffing back some more snot that was threatening to drip out of my nose. I took the whole wallet, feeling slightly numb, wishing that none of this was happening. That this was a bad dream from being sick with the flu and Merle or Daryl would wake me up to talk me down from it. Instead, I woke up to this being my reality. No Merle. No Daryl. And definitely no Grandpa. Just a small handful of people I knew.

He had to be looking for Daryl. 

That's why he isn't here yet.

I pulled out my knife and carved it into the backseat just in case Merle did come. 

**With Maggie**

**Bambi**

I sheathed the knife and slid out the back of the bus before taking control of my backpack again, silently moving Sasha out of the way, tucking the wallet away. 

"We need to go," Bob sighed, "we're sitting ducks out here."

Maggie’s head jerked to Bob, "No, I'm going back for Glenn."

"Glenn might not even be at the prison anymore. He's probably looking for you, just a step behind." Sasha laughed, incredulously. 

Maggie's eyes flared, "I am not leaving him."

"No one is saying to leave him!" Sasha scratched her head for a moment, trying to think about how to explain to Maggie without making things worse.

I closed my bag and put it over my shoulders, looking up at Maggie. "If you go back you might pass by him without knowing." Both women looked at me and I clenched onto the straps of the backpack. 

"Daryl taught me that when you're tracking, you have to pick the right trail, otherwise you can be following one from a week ago instead of the one from an hour ago." I kept talking, unsure of how to make her feel better. "Merle was the one who was supposed to find me with Daryl but maybe his way here is longer than what you guys took, and it's more dangerous going back or staying here." 

Sasha said nothing but looked at the crestfallen Maggie. Maggie’s eyes filled with tears again, "How is Merle or Daryl supposed to know where you went if you aren’t here?"

I shrugged up at her, feeling too drained to get into it, "With you. I carved into the seat to let him know I'm okay and I'll be where you go."

That seemed to comfort Maggie somewhat, whispering out her thoughts, "I can just leave him messages as we go."

"Exactly," Sasha looked relieved that there was a solution, "Every few miles, we'll leave him a message and he'll find us."

"So now that's settled," Bob interrupted, "can we go?"

I looked Bob over again, not exactly impressed with our new member but I get where he is coming from. We have to keep moving. Sitting in one spot is dangerous if there wasn't anything to protect you. And even then, that's not a guarantee. Look at the prison.

I grabbed my bow and quiver back from Maggie, slinging that over my shoulders as well. Maggie looked over at me, "Are you sure you can carry all that?"

I shrugged, "Until you guys have your own bags, mine is the only one to carry everything."

"Can you even use the bow?" Bob interjected.

I glared over at him, snapping, "Do you know how to do anything but complain?"

He seemed a bit surprised at my hostility but he was annoying me. Why would I be carrying around a bow if I couldn't use it? That would make life easy for me if I didn’t have to carry all this. Maggie frowned at me, "Cielo, that wasn't nice."

I bit the inside of my cheek and looked to the side, not wanting to snap at Maggie too. Sasha seemed to get where I was coming from as she laughed lightly, brushing a piece of my hair behind my ear. "She was the one that shot down that deer you ate, Bob. Give her some credit."

The nearly bald-headed man gaped. "I thought Daryl shot it down."

Maggie sighed, "Cielo is attached to both Dixon’s like glue. One taught her how to shoot a gun and the other how to track and use a bow."

Distant growling from walkers reached our ears. I started to walk in the direction the bus was headed, knowing that Claire had to be driving to a previously agreed destination. There was no way she was driving just to drive to the middle of nowhere. 

"Cielo!" Sasha hissed.

"We can't stay," I called back before adding, "and there's walkers in the woods so we can't hide in there either. They heard the gunshots."

We can't stop. We have to move. 

I can cry more later…

Not now…

It's not safe.

Hurried pair of footsteps started following me. I didn’t turn around to see who it was. They knew better than me what was and wasn't a good idea. "Let me leave him a message." Maggie’s panicked voice reached my ears. 

I stopped, looking over my shoulder to see her take a handful of the walker's blood, smearing it on the side of the bus. Scanning the forest edge, I kept an eye for any of the walkers we were hearing. "Let's go," Maggie started walking in the direction I was heading and I followed.

* * *

It's been about three weeks and Maggie has been leaving Glenn the occasional message on our route. Somewhere along the way, Maggie got in her mind about going to a place called Sanctuary. I really can't remember because everything is becoming blurred. One day is the same as the next. One moment we slept in a house and the other we slept in abandoned cars. At some point, they found me new clothes to wear to change out of the blood-soaked ones I had on from the bus but I don't know if it was from a store or one of the houses we slept in. 

I can't really remember much.

One moment, no one but me had a bag, and the next thing I knew everyone here had a bag and mine felt lighter. I remember that I argued with Bob because he wanted to eat one of Judith’s purees and I didn't let him. Sasha and Bob tried to convince me that Judith wasn't here so she didn't need it. Only Maggie understood. That's how Judith’s purees stayed in my bag. 

Maggie was the only one who understood.

No one else knew.

They don't know…

Everyone else is alive and I won't have some guy named Bob say otherwise.

Enough people are dead.

We were walking through a tunnel, following train tracks, when I came back to my senses. Immediately, I tensed up, not liking the dark place. 

It was too open. 

Nowhere to hide. 

I walked close to Maggie, unsure about walking through this tunnel, trying to figure out who even suggested it. I don't remember if this was the only way to this so-called Sanctuary. What I do know for a fact is that Sasha wouldn't dare suggest this. She's extremely pragmatic and leans towards the cautious side. That leaves me with Bob and Maggie. 

Bob is a bit like Sasha except he's more of a glass is half full to Sasha's half empty. While he thinks things in a more positive light lately, he isn't this positive. Leaving me with Maggie, who was determined to make sure Glenn knew where she was. Even if it meant a dark tunnel.

"Any clue how far this goes?" The question nearly echoed in the silent tunnel.

Good question, Sasha.

Maggie looked over to the other woman, "About a mile."

"A mile of maybe running into walkers?" I muttered, knowing that they would hear me. The sound of a water drop falling into a puddle off in the distance echoed to my ears just fine. 

"Or a mile of no walkers?" Bob suggested.

I really don't like you right now, Bob.

I huffed, not wanting to be scolded for snapping at him. He really was a nice guy. At least after the whole incident of trying to get Judith’s food. He turned out to be nice once you really look at what he is doing. It's just the way how he was happy about how things are is what made me mad. 

We lost everything.

"If all goes well," he continued, "we'll reach Sanctuary by tomorrow."

"Okay," I stopped looking over at Bob, "why are you always so happy or in a good mood? It's annoying."

He smiled at me, ignoring the two scolding stares the women were giving me just as much as I was. "This is the first time that I wasn't ever alone."

We all stared at him, wondering what he meant by that. Seeming to understand the unasked question, he grinned and kept walking, with us following. "Before Daryl found me, I was in two other groups before this one. Each time, I was the only one who was still alive. So this time," he looked down at me with a happy-go-lucky grin, "I have you three with me."

Thanks for making me feel bad, Bob.

Really.

I bit my lip, looking away from the happy man. I saw Maggie have a small smile form on her face, seeing that I was feeling a bit regretful at being mean to Bob. She knew I was building up to the apology. Sasha on the other hand was still giving me the scolding look. 

Sasha didn't know me as well as Maggie. She just knew me to be the mischief-maker who was too smart for her own good. 

I looked at the man's back, mumbling, "Sorry for being mean."

He looked over his shoulder with another grin, not saying another word, before looking ahead once more. As we walked further, someone kicked a bottle cap or some kind of small metal object, and we all froze at the responding raspy moans. 

My eyes darted around in the dark tunnel, trying to see where they were. My eyes had gotten used to the darkness of the tunnel but I would have preferred some form of light to be able to see how many were here exactly. I pulled out my knife, knowing the bow would be useless unless I had a clear shot. 

"Can anyone tell how many?" Sasha asked, sounding strained.

"No," Maggie answered her.

"Not like this," Bob replied.

"How far do you think we have to the other side of the tunnel?" Maggie asked, thinking.

"About another quarter mile," Bob replied, aiming at the closet walker with his gun that he saw moving our way.

"Please tell me you have something that isn't going to ring the dinner bell!" I hissed at Bob, staring at the gun nervously.

He sheepishly smiled at me and I groaned. "When we get out of this you are so getting a knife," I growled, walking up to the walker nearing him. I kicked its knee and slammed the knife onto its skull hard, unsure how far gone this walker was.

It went in fairly easy and I slid it out, looking for any other walkers closing in. My eyes felt as wide as my mouth dropped, looking at the quantity in front of us. The dark shadows of the walkers stumbling to us swaying in the little light we did have. "Just so you all know, I'm seeing twenty or more heads swaying in the dark," I warned.

"Quarter mile?" Maggie asked again. Bob nodded, focusing on the same thing I was. "Run for it."

Our heads swiveled to Maggie, saying at the same time, "Run?"

Sasha went into depth, "That is a good twenty-some walkers stopping us from getting out!"

I looked around, trying to see if there were cars or something else we could use to get out of this. All I kept hearing was the dripping of a water drop hidden underneath the echoes of walker snarls and moans. "The ceiling?" I asked, unsure if that was even an option.

Maggie looked up and grinned, "Absolute gem." She turned over at Sasha, who had the semi rifle. "We run past most of the walkers and once we get close enough to the entrance, start shooting at the ceiling. Give us a heads up to cover you."

"I'm wasting my bullets into a ceiling?" 

I didn't need light to know that Sasha was squinting at Maggie with disbelief. Bob caught on to Maggie’s train of thought. "Ceiling falls on the walkers and they're out of our hair."

I looked at the swaying shadows nervously, "If we're running we should do it now." I felt my legs tense up, rolling from the heel to the ball of my foot, ready to go into a sprint.

"Cielo, stay close to me, okay?" Maggie pulled me a bit closer to her. She looked briefly at the other two, "Go!"

We all broke out into a run, I stuck close to Maggie as she wanted, briefly stopping to pull down a walker and stabbed its head. I heard Bob fire his gun, the sound ringing loudly in my ears, exciting the walkers even more. I kept up as good as I could with Maggie, eyes darting around the shadows, debating which was too close to ignore or I could squeeze under an outreached arm. Maggie was doing the same, except she had more walkers closing in on her than I did.

She pushed one away from her to better focus on another walker that was snapping its teeth at her neck. I kicked the back of that walkers knee as it was already unsteady from being pushed, aiming the knife into its rotting skull. Next to me, I heard Sasha covering Bob and he was doing the same, killing walkers between every short sprint they made. We kept this up until we finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. 

"Go, go, go!" Maggie yelled.

I ran as fast as I could, dodging reaching hands, keeping the goal in sight. Maggie wasn't far behind, having to slow down a bit to keep me in reach, avoiding the sparse walkers towards the end of the tunnel. A loud shout had Maggie and I turn around, seeing Bob laying on the floor, fighting to hold back a walker. Sasha was busy fighting off a few walkers at the same time, reserving the bullets for the ceiling. 

"I got Bob," I informed Maggie as we both ran back to help the other two who weren't as lucky as us. 

With a small grunt, I shoved my knife into the walkers eye, pulling out the knife with a sickening slush. Bob pushed the walker off him as I noticed another getting too close to Sasha from the back. Eyes nearly bugging out in fear, I shouted, "Sasha, behind you!"

I ran towards her anyway, not sure if she could stop the walker in time. It felt as it slowed down. She killed the female walker that was in front of her just as the one behind her managed to grasp onto her shoulders. This walker was taller than her, the man's frame similar to that of Tyreese’s, something I knew I couldn't take down myself. 

Its jaws were lowering between her neck and shoulder before the decaying head exploded. The loud bang of a gun from behind me ending the walker that nearly took a bite out of Sasha. 

Time seemed to have sped up again, the walkers we ran past shuffled faster to reach us, encouraged by the promising snarl of the walker that nearly ended Sasha. From the corner of my eye I saw Bob limping and Sasha, seeing the gun in his hand, knew who saved her life. She rushed over to Bob and slung an arm over her shoulder. Maggie did the same to Bob's other side and I nervously looked at them.

"Who's gonna shoot the ceiling?" 

Sasha took the semiautomatic off her shoulders and handed the rifle to me, "You are. Aim high."

Jaw dropped, I grabbed the rifle that was slightly heavier than the backpack was at the beginning of this entire thing. Cleaning the hunting knife against my jeans, I sheathed it once more to get a better grip on the rifle. "Come on," Maggie panted, exhausted from the running and defending herself from walkers, "let's start moving. Cielo, run ahead, once we're close to the edge shoot the roof of the tunnel."

I nodded and ran ahead, happy that there weren't any more walkers ahead of us but all of them behind us. I stopped at the edge of the tunnel, not fully exiting, watching as Bob hopped along with the help of both women. The small herd of walkers was nearly on top of them but they picked up the pace, now having a rhythm.

I bit my lip nervously, watching them trying to gain a distance from the walkers, but it didn’t seem possible. Maggie and Sasha both kept looking over their shoulders, anxiously watching the walkers. Maggie's green eyes landed on me. "Shoot!"

I shook my head, nervous, "You're too close to the walkers!"

"Shoot!" Both women shouted at me.

Whimpering, I aimed high above them and pulled the trigger, watching the bullets riddle the concrete ceiling, spreading the gunfire from edge to edge. There was a rumbling sound echoing towards me from the tunnel and I only stopped shooting once I saw bits of the concrete give way. Large boulders followed the sprinkling dust and pebbles, falling down fast. 

I watched nervously as they tried to run faster but Bob hurting his ankle made him unable to keep up with the pace the two women wanted. Walkers behind them were being struck down by larger chunks of the concrete above them. Suddenly, everything seemed to have imploded. 

I watched the rockslide happen within a split second, a large amount of dust and concrete powder flying past the three of them, blocking them from view. The large number of walkers that I heard growling before became almost nonexistent. A loud shout had my stomach flip with nerves. I waited to hear another sound, anything to let me know if they were okay or not. 

A whine escaped me as the sounds of pebbles settling in the tunnel being the only indication that it was over. Knots were building up in me at the thought of losing family again. None of them were showing up yet. Not even a groan from a walker. All I saw was the dust flowing out of the tunnel like smoke. The same kind of smoke I was nearly trapped in several weeks ago. Thick enough to hide what happened and slowly dissipating. 

Loud coughs reached my ears, relief filling me as I heard them, watching the three of them come through the thick cloud. Bob's head was lolling around and it became clear to me that he was the one who had let out the shout. One of the rocks must have struck his head hard enough to make him fall unconscious. I let out a breath of air, relieved that everyone came out okay, for the most part, just covered in dust like I was in the beginning.

They both walked over to the edge of the entrance to the train's tunnel and set Bob down. Both Maggie and Sasha kept coughing out the dust they breathed in as I walked up and put the strap of the rifle around Sasha's shoulder, wincing at how hard the coughs shook their bodies. I pulled off my backpack and reached in for a large water bottle we had found in someone's kitchen cupboards. I handed it over to Sasha first, as she already suffered from her lungs filling up with phlegm, and who knows what else that flu put her through. 

Sasha rasped out a thanks between coughs, taking a big gulp before handing it over to Maggie. I pulled the bow from around my shoulders, just in case walkers would start piling up from the woods or the road on either side of the train tracks, not feeling comfortable enough to relax. 

Sure enough, there was a groan coming from the road and I reached for an arrow, nocking the slender piece of wood. A male walker that was severely decomposed in a suit walked towards us around the brick building. I wrinkled my nose in disgust as the wind brought the rotting smell towards us. I aimed for the walker and let the arrow fly, striking the long-deceased man between the eyes. I reached for another knowing there was no way it was the only one on the street.

"Well, look at you." Sasha coughed out, still taking turns with Maggie drinking the water. Her chestnut eyes twinkled up at me. "Got our own mini Dixon here."

"Merle told Herschel I'm a Dixon and Daddy didn't say otherwise," I answered her with a shrug.

"Daddy?" Both women blinked in shock.

I grinned at them, "Yup, he's my Daddy now." I wrinkled my nose. "But I might have to call him that little by little to not shock him too much."

Sasha lightly laughed as Maggie returned a sad smile of her own, "I'm happy for you, sweetheart. You deserve a good guy like Daryl to be your dad."

I reached for Merle’s dog tags under my shirt, pulling them out. "They'll find me. Just like Glenn, Herschel, Beth, and Tyreese are looking for the both of you."

Maggie’s lips shook and I knew something was wrong. Eyebrows furrowed with concern, I looked at Maggie. "You okay?"

Sasha looked at the other woman sympathetically before turning to me. "The Governor kidnapped Michonne and Herschel. He killed Herschel before the fighting happened."

Frowning, the sharp twinge by my heart crackled in my chest. "I'm sorry, Maggie." 

"It's okay, honey, you didn't know." The sad smile was back.

I bit my bottom lip, eyeing the ground by her feet, knowing there wasn't anything I could say to make her feel better. Just like no one could say anything to make me feel better. I was upset about Mami and Abuela for a while, so I know Maggie will be upset about it just as long as I was, if not longer. It was also dumb for me to think I was the only one to lose family.  


More snarling came from behind me and I turned around to see two walkers coming from the woods, just passing the treeline. One arrow at the ready, I shot the one furthest out first before reaching into the quiver and shooting the second walker.

"We can't stay here. Between the gunfire and the tunnel collapsing, that had to be loud enough to catch the walkers attention." Sasha sighed.

"We also can't go too far because of Bob," Maggie reminded her.

"We go into the woods. Use the walkers to keep other walkers away." I shrugged, throat closing a bit at the reminder of how I came to learn that.

"How would that even work?" Sasha looked up at me, her almond-shaped eyes squinted.

"It's how I survived in the bus. Grandpa was hiding me." I bit my lip a bit too hard to focus on my lip instead, stopping the urge to cry.

Sasha was silent and Maggie didn't say anything either. I looked over Bob seeing the top of his head was bleeding a bit heavily. "Does he have the alcohol wipes and band-aids?" I asked, changing the subject.

Sasha didn't miss a beat, "Yeah, he was a medic in the army. Makes sense he has the medical supplies."

I nodded, slightly miffed they took my medical supplies but if he was a trained medic it makes plenty of sense, staring at the head wound. Maggie sighed, getting up from her spot and handing me back my bottle of water. 

"Let's start moving and hope he wakes up soon." She patted down her pants from the extra dirt. 

Sasha leaned over the unconscious man and waited for Maggie to find a comfortable spot before heaving the heavier man's arms across their shoulders. I tilted my body in the direction where the two walkers came from. Scanning the tree line as I approached it. I stopped at the two walkers and pulled my arrows from their heads, quickly inspecting them. A loud snap from a twig had me aiming towards the sound with an arrow, a female walker with its throat completely mangled stumbling over. I released one of the arrows already in hand and watched the body fall to the ground. 

Anxious, I double-checked the surroundings once more before walking further in to hide better between the trees. Both women were panting from dragging the taller man through the distance I made them walk. Eventually, I stopped and dropped my backpack on the ground, silently signaling this was our spot.

Sasha looked confused, "Isn't this too close to the tracks?"

"If Glenn is right behind us he can't go through the tunnel. He would have to go around it. It's far enough to avoid anyone following the tunnel through the woods and easy to spot someone on the tracks or the road." I told her.

"No offense," Sasha started, "I know you're a smart kid but this doesn't sound like a good idea."

"If I were you, I would take her advice, Sasha." Maggie started to lean Bob against a tree, Sasha following along. "She survived in the woods by herself for a whole week," Maggie met Sasha's gaze, "twice."

I felt myself puff up a bit at the endorsement. 

"The second time was about a week before you and Tyreese came through the tombs," I added, feeling accomplished at Sasha's surprised expression.

"You were seven!"

"And I was six the first time," I gloated. The slow blink I received in response was amazing. I tilted my head at her, blinking innocently, "When you and Maggie drag the walkers over here, can you get my arrows?"


	44. He Talks Funny...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was 18 pages long in my Word Doc....
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this one, thank you for the Kudos and Comments!
> 
> Happy to know that this is the highlight to Monday evenings (Eastern time at least) to start off the week after a long day to unwind. Not gonna lie, I'm amazed at how far this story has gotten and the amount of love it receives.

We stayed in our spot in the woods for two days. I had to find moss to put over Bob's head wound because it kept bleeding through the band aids we had. Sasha and Maggie both looked at me as if I was insane but it did its job. I silently thanked Herschel for the book he gave me because it has little side notes how some of those edible plants have medicinal value. It just happened to mention moss being super absorbent. 

It took Bob a few hours to become conscious and he immediately instructed Sasha to check for a concussion, which he had. So not only did Bob have a sprained ankle but he added on a concussion. It took some slight arguing to convince them it was a bad idea to move Bob so close to sundown. When I was on my own, once I saw sunset, I hid up the trees immediately. The concept is the same except of staying in place and with his concussion, he couldn't sleep. That meant Bob had to be awake if someone was paranoid about walkers attacking us in the middle of the night, so it's a win win. I even dangled the opportunity to check out the building across the road in the morning to have four walls and a roof.

An argument that I won.

The walkers I shot with my arrows, along with an additional three both women got, were settled in a circle around us. Maggie tied up some branches from nearby bushes together to alert us with two tin cans in case it didn't work. Or on the off chance, Bob slept when one of us wasn’t accompanying him on his night watch. I didn’t argue because I understood the need to have a backup in case the first two plans failed. I just wrapped myself in the thick jacket we raided from a thrift store a few days back and went to sleep.

My method worked just fine anyway.

Sasha still couldn't believe I was not only right about the walkers being laid around us would work, you can’t ignore how much they reeked, but won against her and two other adults in an argument to stay put until Bob could at least walk without help. All I could do was shrug and say, "It's normal for me."

It was a truth that saddened the three of them. What they grew up with as kids didn't involve surviving. They just played games and had the stuff I was just getting used to, like a computer, longer than I did. Since two years ago, I had to start learning what kept me alive and do what worked. My new learned technique was to use walkers to hide. I'm sure there will be more lessons to learn come tomorrow. This is the new normal.

The second day we did as I said to win them over- especially Sasha- and moved into the brick building that was on the other side of the tracks, which was an apartment building. Sasha and Maggie cleared the apartment we were going to stay in as I stayed in the hall with Bob. When they gave us the all clear, Bob and I inspected the apartment they picked. Either the person was in the process of moving out or they finally got their apartment. There was nothing but a couch in what was the living room with a plasma tv. 

What looked like their small dining room had a table with four chairs and nothing more. It had yet to be decorated with any pictures on the wall or the pictures on the wall was one of the first things to be moved out. Seeing the kitchen, I walked over to their pantry and opened it, wondering what could be in a mostly empty apartment. My mouth watered upon seeing a decently full pantry of canned tuna, corn, frijoles, green beans, soups, and a box of saltine crackers. At the bottom was what looked like to be gatorade.

“I call dibs on the chicken noodle soup!” I called out to the three adults who looked at me grinning over at them.

“There is food here?” Maggie was perplexed, walking over with Sasha right behind her. Maggie’s eyes scanned the pantry, a big smile taking over her face as Sasha let out a short laugh in disbelief.

“People probably avoided the apartment buildings, thinking of the amount of walkers there could be.” Bob limped over, taking a look at the pantry with that optimistic smile he has been trying to get the rest of us to feel. 

I’m more of an opportunist.

Maggie pulled out a can of soup, reading the label, “Safe to say, we have a good breakfast to start off the day.”

“Set aside the cans of soup and pack up the rest?” I asked her, swallowing the amount of saliva that built in my mouth at the idea of pre-walker canned soup. Maybe I should check the rest of the kitchen and bedroom to see if they kept other snacks elsewhere or if this was it. I still had my small stash of chocolate but it never hurts to get more.

“Good idea,” Bob nodded, leaning against the kitchen counter, “I’ll pack it up.”

I glared over at him without any heat in my stare, “But you’re packing it  _ my _ way.”

He chuckled, “Alright, your way.”

“Bossy little thing, aren’t you?” Sasha grinned.

“Me?” I asked, blinking up at her innocently, “Never.”

Sasha snickered, looking over at Maggie, “That’s how she got ‘Bambi’, huh?”

“Oh, you have no idea. A little girl this high with those pretty eyes, won’t know what hit ya.” Maggie responded, pulling out the cans and setting it on the kitchen counter by Bob.

I sighed, grabbing a can to help Maggie, “The simple life. Extra cookies and milk.”All three either laughed or shook their heads in amusement. I pretended as if they weren’t laughing at my favorite part of running into the farm. Those cookies were sacred to me. 

Even for oatmeal raisins.

We went through our routine with the new part of Bob and I putting things away in our bags the way I preferred noisy things like cans to be packed in a bag. Stuffing the gatorades was a bit tricky but with four bags we managed to make it work. Sasha kept an eye out the window facing the road, keeping an eye on things, leaving Maggie to figure out a way to heat up our cans of soup without sending smoke signals to those nearby. 

It all went well, we ate our respective soups, and checked on Bob’s injuries. 

At least until we heard the sound of bad car brakes squealing in the neighborhood. Everyone tensed up, heads snapping to the window, now empty cans being left on the ground. Maggie and Sasha surrounded one window, trying to see which side the car was coming from, and most importantly,  _ who _ .

Bob held out a hand, stopping me from going over to my own little window to see what was going on. I pouted but didn’t argue. I knew that he was keeping me safe but looking out a window can’t be that bad if you do it carefully like Maggie and Sasha were doing. 

"I don't see anyone from this side," Sasha informed Maggie, craning her neck to see if she spots anything.

"It's three people. Only two have weapons. Looks like the one is heading inside." Maggie told us the play by play. She pushed off the wall near the window and set herself against a wall. Sasha did the same and Bob gently pushed me towards the pantry, hiding me in there with our supplies, a gun, and my bow. 

I watched as he closed the door, the loud click enshrouding me in darkness, listening. All three of them were whispering silently, making plans. I heard a door bang open and the firing of Sasha's rifle was the most familiar sound I heard. She stopped pulling the trigger, silence ensuing. 

I ran my thumb over the stitching of my hunting knife sheath anxiously. Did they get the person coming in?

"Abe-" A panicked woman's voice was stopped. Clearly from outside the apartment.

"Now," The man, Abe, deep authoritative voice called out to us, "I understand in today’s time it's shoot first, questions later. In light of what just happened, I would appreciate it if we can talk before shooting once more. I would like to save our ammunition and I'm sure you feel the same."

Maggie was the first to respond. "Well, clearly this spot is taken, find another."

"Now, that's fair." Abe responded to her. "Can I have the pleasure of knowing who I'm speaking with?"

"Maggie." Her tone was cold, clearly warning the man she wasn't in the mood for any of his games.

"Wait," the woman spoke again. "Glenn’s Maggie?"

I gasped. They knew about Glenn?

"What do you know about Glenn?" Sasha asked, trying to keep the level head for the other woman. 

"We just dropped him off at the train tracks leading to the tunnel." Abe answered Sasha.

"That's a trap! He'll have walkers all over him." Maggie panicked. "Grab everything, we need to save Glenn."

"How do we know you really did?" Sasha tried to keep the panic stricken woman level headed. 

"He said he was looking for his wife, Maggie. How the place you lot were in was blown up by some psycho asshole with a superiority complex." I snorted in the small dark room, agreeing with the psycho asshole part. Not entirely sure what a superiority complex was. "Now, I would appreciate it if no one would shoot the other. I'm just here gathering supplies before moving onto my mission."

"Bob, Cielo, let's go." Sasha sighed, deciding to trust the man.

The door was opened for me and I grabbed the offered hand to stand up. I grabbed Bob's bag and handed it to him before shouldering my own with the bow, grabbing Maggie’s and Sasha's as I left the pantry. Maggie moved with desperation, grabbing both bags from me and handed Sasha hers on the way out, disregarding her own safety as she walked out the front door.

I saw her stop and give a stiff nod at the people by the door, looking back at us. "Come on, Glenn might be in trouble."

I was the second to get out the front door with Sasha behind me. I took a moment to scan the two new people who were standing out in the hall. The woman clearly was a Latina. She had the typical tanned skin most Latinos had but the way she held herself reminded me of someone who would be in the military. Her wearing cargo pants with a thick tanned coat seemed to tie the army vibes I was getting off her.

The red headed man definitely was military. He had the stance. The real give away was the dog tags around his neck. They looked like Merle’s. He was just as tall and stocky like Merle. It made me wonder if he had the same military status written on the dog tag too. Army seemed to like people who had muscles. What was throwing me a bit off was his mustache? Or a beard? The way he styled it to have only the sides of his mouth to have that weird mustache was strange but it worked for him.

Abe had his rifle pointed up, having it casually leaning on his shoulder, without a care in the world. Once he took his eyes off Maggie, they landed on me with a surprise, "Well, I'll be damned. You all have a pipsqueak with you."

I blinked, stupefied. He call me pipsqueak?

"Cielo," Maggie warned me not to start anything.

"How fast can we get to Glenn?" I tilted my head up at the big man, innocently staring at him.

He grinned, "We can load up in the van and be there in a split second."

I nodded looking over my shoulder at Bob and Sasha, seeing them warily eye the muscular man. I walked ahead, past Maggie and the other lady, "Meet you outside!"

I let them get introduced to one another as I pushed open the door to the apartment building, seeing an extremely skittish man standing by said truck. His eyes widened seeing me and the first thing I noticed was that he had one of the body armors we got from the prison. Knowing Glenn, he wouldn’t just give it away but seeing his whole body full of nervous tension, I believed he would. 

I walked up to the van eyeing mullet head as he shifted side to side, pointing his gun at me, the object shaking as hard as his hands. I rolled my eyes and pulled the door open, "You're gonna hurt yourself."

"You do not have permission to enter the vehicle. I will shoot if you-"

"Big Red said to get in the van to get Glenn, Mullet Head. I think that's permission." I hopped in, disregarding the man.

"My name is Eugene Porter. Not Mullet Head. And the man you called Big Red is Abraham Ford." He told me, offended as he lowered the gun back to the ground. He seemed to want to say something else but everyone else was getting out of the building. 

"Load up!" Abraham ordered, finger circling in the air as he kept a hand on his rifle. 

I moved to the middle in the back seat knowing the drill when it came to being in a car. Tiniest in the middle and bigger people on the outer sides. Bob hopped in front of me and Maggie on the other side of him. Sasha came to sit in the back with me, nudging me to move further in, and Eugene uncomfortably sat next to her. 

Abraham and the Latina -who I still didn't know the name of- sat up front. Once everyone was in, Abraham didn't waste time to start the car and stomp on the gas to get to Glenn, car in reverse. My heart was in my throat at how the man casually drove looking over his shoulder through the back windshield. I silently grapsed Sasha's hand and she squeezed back, not liking how the car was being driven either.

Now I get the screeching sound...

He spun the car and then started driving into the tunnel we had escaped from before, headlights on. The closer we got to where the tunnel collapsed, the more noticeable the snarling of walkers were heard, and I saw Maggie nearly ready to jump out of the car at the sound of them. I noticed the car start to slow down as the amount of walkers were too thick to get through. 

"Show time," Abraham gleefully called out to us, grabbing his gun. 

I looked at the back of his head trying to understand how this was exciting to him. Is he all there?

Everyone listened, eyeing the amount of walkers closing in on a fighting Glenn. I waited for all of them to get out with their guns before I did, bypassing Eugene who preferred to stay in the vehicle. Rapid gunfire struck the walkers, the headlights giving me a clear view of the bodies shaking with each hit of the bullet, falling one by one.

Once the last one fell, Glenn was trying to peer past the bright headlights, but Maggie immediately ran up to him. I smiled seeing the married couple cling to one another, staring into each other's eyes, quick kisses to remind the other how loved they were. Glenn wasn't openly crying tears of joy like Maggie but the way he looked over her, checking for any scrapes or bruises was his own way of making sure all was well. 

Feeling slightly uncomfortable with how long they kept on with the kissing, I chimed in. "Glenn, you owe Maggie big time for that huge scare."

Both of their heads turned towards the rest of us, finally acknowledging the rest of the group who were standing awkwardly by the truck. Glenn grinned, nodding his head, looking back at Maggie. "Yeah, I can imagine."

* * *

I watched as the adults, except whiny Eugene and poor Bob, pile up the body of walkers on the side of the tunnel. I scraped the last bit of tuna from my can, filling my stomach with its nightly meal. I eyed each new face with suspicion. The lady Glenn was with looked a bit nervous and constantly looked at Glenn for direction. 

Eugene didn't look comfortable with anything and was easily bossed around by Abraham and the latina, Rosita. From what he was spouting off to Bob, in his weird way, that he was some kind of special scientist and knew the cure for walkers. When he attempted to defend himself from others, Eugene's bark was as useless as his bite. 

Abraham, was clearly the top dog of his little group, and had no problems giving us directives. So far, everything he has said made sense and no one was arguing with logic. Having clear direction is what we need though. Normally it would be Rick but Rick wasn't here. What was strange was how eager he was to have us come join him on his mission to Washington DC. Doing his best to convince Bob to come along and help him with Glenn and Tara.

Rosita was back up body guard for Eugene, Abraham clearly being the main body guard. She followed his directions to the tee and kept Eugene in line all the same. Abraham was a bit brash with Eugene but Rosita seemed to be the one to softly break the blows to the man. 

My eyes darted over to Eugene. It was like he was a baby.

He must have felt my eyes burning a hole into his head because he looked over at me and shifted in his seat. "Can you please stop staring? It is making me highly uncomfortable and I would appreciate it if you cease and desist."

"You talk funny," I scrunch my nose at the nervous man.

Bob chuckled next to me, "Cielo, be nice."

I gaped at Bob, "I didn't do anything!"

"What she do now?" Sasha sat next to me and I growled at her.

"Nothing! Me looking at him makes him feel 'highly uncomfortable'." I quoted with my fingers.

Sasha chuckled, running a hand through my hair, getting stuck in some knots. I winced and leaned my head towards her to lessen the tension in my scalp. She hissed with me, sympathizing, "Come here, let's get some of those knots out, huh?"

I moved over to sit in front of her, shooting a glare at the scientist. He quickly avoided my glare and looked back at the low embers of the fire we had burning in front of us. Sasha's nimble fingers worked at each knot she felt, likely a tactic to ground herself, but I didn’t mind because having someone play with my hair was relaxing at the moment. It reminded me of a simpler time when Mami would brush my hair.

"End of the tunnel's secure. If anything tries to come in, we'll hear in plenty of time." Abraham's booming voice notified us all. 

Maggie, Glenn, and the other lady, Tara, came to sit by the fire to get out of the cool air. Glenn grinned at the three of us, seeing how we were relaxed among the new group he had found.

"What's up?" Was the cheerful chirp.

"He just said that he knows what caused the outbreak." Bob motioned over to Eugene. 

"Yeah. He does." Glenn nodded, his glee simmering down a bit at the serious topic before giving us a wry grin. "Let me guess. He asked you to go to DC with him?"

"I'm downright tickled y'all found each other. Should spend the rest of the night celebrating. Because tomorrow there's absolutely no reason why the nine of us don't stuff ourselves in that van and head up to Washington." Abraham settled between Glenn and Rosita, can of tuna in hand.

Tara nodded, looking around the fire. "He's right. I'm gonna go."

My eyes narrowed at her but I didn't have to say anything. Eugene did it for me.

"No, he's wrong." He shook his head, avoiding to look at the military man. "We're twenty four percent of the way from Houston to Washington. Up until now, we've had an armored military vehicle for transport and we lost eight people."

Abraham frowned at the mousy man. "That wasn't our fault. They're gone."

I blinked at the indifferent reaction Abraham had to the people they lost on the way. At least Rosita was looking upset for the people they lost along the way. Abraham didn’t even look torn of the fact that they had lost eight people. It was as if he lost eight paperclips. Something that meant nothing but these were people. Their lives  _ had _ to have meant something to him!

Eugene was adamant. "I can't imagine we'd have better luck with that grocery grabber we picked up. We're a day's walk from Terminus. Who knows what they've got there?"

Was that a jab at Glenn?

Rosita sighed, looking over at Abraham. "Look, it couldn't hurt to check. Load up on supplies, maybe even recruit some of them to come with us if they want."

Sasha's soft voice spoke from behind me, "I'll go with you guys, but after. I have to see Terminus. My brother could be there. I got to know."

I bit my lip a bit angrily before saying something. "Well, if Dad and Uncle Merle are there, I'm staying with them."

Glenn looked over at me, not reacting to the ‘dad’ so Maggie must have told him. "Weren't you on the bus with your Grandpa?"

Maggie shifted uncomfortably and the others started picking up on the solemn mood coming from the other two adults next to me. "I was the only one left." Was my quiet reply, staring into the glowing embers of our fire.

"Only one left?" Eugene was the one to ask the unasked question.

"Anyone who was too sick died and turned into walkers." I shrugged, not wanting to go into details.

"Your Grandpa, did he…" Glenn stopped from asking the question but it was out there.

My nose and throat started to tickle, getting out the choked reply, "I stopped him." 

"Oh, honey," Sasha pulled me to her. I leaned into her, turning around so I could hear her heartbeat, not wanting to think about Grandpa trying to get me from underneath the seat. How those loving eyes were clouded over, lips peeled back, teeth gnashing.

"I found her hiding under the seat." Maggie whispered but it was quiet enough for everyone to hear. 

Eugene, clearly not understanding, poked the bear. "If you're on your own, isn't it better to stay with Glenn and the others than stay at Terminus?"

My head snapped over to the clueless man, who suddenly reminded me of Milton, glaring furiously with my stuffy nose. "Merle said he was gonna come looking for me with Dad. I left him a message on the bus to look for Maggie and there are a bunch of messages Maggie left saying to go to Terminus." I pulled out the dog tags that were hidden under my shirt. "He promised and I have these, so he has to."

"She's got fire." Abraham chuckled over at Glenn before looking at me, eyeing the familiar dog tags around my neck. "If that uncle of yours was a man who followed orders, he has his mission to come find you. When a man's on a mission and nothing will stop him." He eyed the tags a bit more as if he wanted to say more but kept silent.

I sniffed, nodding at what he said before glaring over at Eugene, "No tienes tacto." 

The hissed words startled the man but made Rosita let out a quick laugh, grinning at me. "No, Eugene doesn't exactly have social skills."

"What she say?" Tara asked Rosita, looking confused at the both of us.

"That he has no tact." Rosita looked over at the offended Eugene. "You really don't."

"I admit that I am not inclined to social cues-"

"He's talking funny again."

"Cielo!" A few scolding voices echoed throughout the tunnel.

* * *

We were back in the van the next morning, eating up some of the corn and green beans for breakfast. I fiddled with a hidden compartment in the backseat armrest and found a silver sharpie. Grinning, I pulled the backpack from the floor and turned the front towards me. Maggie, who sat next to me this time with Glenn on her other side, noticed what I was doing. "Gonna draw on it?"

"Maybe later, I wanna write my name on it first." I uncapped the sharpie and carefully wrote out my name in big letters on the bag. 

Maggie’s fingers found themselves buried in my hair, rubbing my scalp in circles. "When we get to Terminus maybe we can cut your hair?"

I looked at the curls that tickled my elbows. "Probably a good idea."

"What are you going to do if Daryl and Merle aren't there?" Glenn asked me.

I frowned, thinking I was clear yesterday. "I'll stay there until they do."

"But if they don't?"

I harshly capped the sharpie, feeling anger coil in me. "They will."

It was silent after that, the others hearing the question Glenn asked. I refused to think that Merle wouldn’t come after me, not even with the little voice in the back of my head taunting me, saying that Merle never meant to keep his promise. How he didn’t mean that I was a Dixon. That he took Daryl and disappeared. I had to keep my head up and remember to think logically. Merle says what he means to do. End of story.

I was so wrapped up in my head I missed the sounds of the car sputtering to a stop. 

"Looks like we're walking from here, gas tanked." Abraham announced, bringing me back to the real world and our current problem. 

I opened the small pocket and placed the sharpie in the bag, liking how the silver looked against the dark backpack. 

Everyone shuffled out of the van and I was one of the last ones out, careful with my bow. Abraham ran a scrutinizing eye over us all, making sure everyone was ready and had what they needed before landing on my bow. "Can you use that or is it just for show?"

"I'm pretty good with it." I shrugged, not completely convinced as Glenn and the others about him. He was too casual about how he lost eight people. I didn’t like that.

"How long were you in the army?" I decided to turn the tables, learn about him. 

He grinned down at me, "Good few years. Was a Sargent before deciding to retire to be with my family. Spent a few months with them before the world spiraled out of control."

Since it was just the three of them, it wasn't hard to imagine what happened to his family. They also couldn’t have been part of the eight or he would have been more choked up over the topic than he was.

"Did you all really come from Houston?" 

He nodded, "Eugene and I were. Found Rosita along the way in Dallas with a few others."

Those few others were likely the eight you all lost and now you want the _six of_ _us_ to come along?

"Did Eugene ever say of other scientists trying to get to DC too?"

Abraham frowned, thinking a bit. "No. If I recall correctly he is the last one with the knowledge on how to reverse this entire thing."

Huh…

"Cielo," I heard behind me. I turned to see Maggie walking directly behind me with a look. "Stop bothering Abraham with all those questions."

I frowned and Abraham snickered. "It's alright. The kid is curious about who she's with. That's a smart thing to do."

"Fair warning," Sasha looked at the red head, "she's smarter than she looks."

I wanted to glare at her but I rolled my eyes, not wanting to out myself to some guy we barely knew. "Whatever…" I mumbled loud enough for Abraham to hear me. He chuckled.

Yup, he doesn't believe it.

"What was that?" Glenn prodded, a near fatherly tone to it.

"I said 'sheesh'. You guys are paranoid. First looking at Eugene was wrong and now asking questions is bad."

"Don't get sassy or I'll tell Daryl." Maggie warned.

"If Daddy or Uncle Merle were here, they wouldn't think me asking questions or looking is a bad thing." I countered, keeping my pace. 

"She's a spitfire, ain't she?" Abraham grinned above my head.

"You have no idea," Glen muttered to the older man. 

"She's cute." Rosita giggled as she finished packing whatever she took out in the car.

"Gracias," I smiled widely at her, slowing down to stand by Maggie, letting Rosita be up front with Abraham. I glanced up at Maggie victoriously who shook her head.

"They'll learn." Glenn grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it.

"Till then," I silently whispered up to them, "let me figure them out." Both looked confused at me but said nothing else. Feeling like I got the message across I went to ask Tara some questions but noticed Eugene suspiciously staring at me. I narrowed my eyes on the grown man and he quickly looked away. 

"Eugene," I blinked up at the fidgety mullet man, "how do you fix the walkers?"

Eugene seemed to gather a bit of steam, "If I were to explain to you the schematics of the biters -or amongst your group with the alias of walkers- genome to reverse the disease you wouldn't understand."

Well, he did lose me.

"Even if he did, it's classified information you don't need to know." Abraham chimed in.

I blinked up at him, "I'm not asking a step by step process. I'm asking what he has to do to fix it? Injections? A powder? Something they have to eat?"

"Like Abraham has said, the information that I have in my head is classified and can be dangerous if in the wrong hands." Eugene straightened up, a completely different man. Now full of confidence than he was a second before.

"Why would it be dangerous in the wrong hands. If it meant we didn't have to worry about being eaten alive why wouldn't people want to stop that?" Now I was genuinely interested and confused about Eugene's solution to the walkers.

"People don't believe the cure is real to start with. Do you think it's real?" Rosita asked me, saving Eugene from answering the question.

"No," I answered truthfully. "It's already been two years and here we are, walkers running around."

"And because of that no one takes our mission as seriously as it should." Abraham growled out.

"But why has it taken you guys almost two years to get to DC when it could have been a few months walking?" 

No one answered that. My question seemed to hang in the air over everyone's heads. My eyes bounced around the three adults. Eugene seemed to have deflated and both Rosita and Abraham were staring ahead, avoiding to look at anyone. Finally, Abraham spoke.

"We've had plenty of bad luck. Cars breaking down, a herd of those biters blocking us off from major routes, lack of supplies. List goes on."

And you wanna share that bad luck with us?

I turned to stare at Glenn and leveled him a stare, clearly telling him what I thought without a word. He winced at the look, unsaid words making their point loud and clear. 

Seeing that those three were focused on their little mission, I turned to Tara. Glenn found her along the way and not many people could survive on their own, so that was a surprise. "What about you, Tara?"

Tara was startled, "What about me?"

"Where did Glenn find you?"

She looked over my head, eyes nearly popping out of her head, seeming to plead with Glenn. He seemed to get the message and answered for her.

"I found her after I left the prison. She was by herself and I couldn't leave her with so many walkers around."

My head snapped over to Glenn, squinting my eyes at him. "You found her near the prison?"

Glenn didn't look at me, "Yeah, not too far."

I stopped walking. "Glenn, you aren't lying are you?"

Everyone stopped and Abraham stepped in. "Glenn wouldn’t lie about something like that."

I focused my gaze on Glenn Rhee. "No, that's 'cause Glenn is the worst liar there is. If he is lying you'll know." I quickly snapped my gaze over to Tara, who seemed to squirm a bit, nervously glancing between Glenn and me.

I spotted a walker ambling towards us from the side of the road we were walking on, still hidden within the woods, nearly behind Tara and Eugene that stood next to her. Wordlessly, I took the bow from around my shoulders and reached for an arrow. "I don't like being lied to," I warned.

I aimed for the walker behind Tara, who was suddenly sweating bullets, hands raised defensively at her sides as she started talking in a rushed voice. "Okay, Glenn found me at the prison hiding behind some car, but I promise you that Brian, Philip, the Governor, or whatever you called him said we weren't going to have to fight. I didn't know-"

I let the arrow fly over her head and into the walker that finally appeared behind her, surprising everyone with the sound of a body falling. Glaring at her, I walked past her and Eugene to go pull out the arrow from the walkers head, anger filling me. 

She was part of the reason we had to leave. She was just as responsible for everyone who died on that bus. If they didn't trust the Governor then Grandpa would still be getting better instead of rotting in a bus. Herschel would still be alive with Dr. S teaching me more. Rick and Carl would still be farming in the courtyard. Carol would cook some amazing foods and when I was old enough, she could teach me. Merle and Dad would take me hunting in the woods. 

I would still have everyone!

I looked at the arrow and saw that there was a crack along its wooden shaft. Growling, I slammed the arrow back into the walkers head, glaring at Tara. I didn’t say anything but looked over to Glenn who seemed to have paled at the fact the secret was out. He saved one of the Governor's people.

"You're lucky I didn't miss," was all I had the energy to say without fully breaking down. I didn't look at them and marched ahead of them, too angry to even continue asking questions, chest feeling tight. 

"Hold on, don't go too far!" Glenn called out but I ignored him, slinging the bow back around my shoulders, speeding ahead. 

I didn't talk to anyone for the rest of the way. Maggie wasn't exactly happy with Glenn either but she forgave him after having a talk with him. Or what I would believe the shouting between the two before it became hushed whispers was talking it out. At least she was still mad about the situation. Nicer with Tara than I was at the moment but like they  _ loved _ to remind me, I'm a kid, I don't  _ have _ to be nice.

Tara kept a good distance away from me, sticking close to Eugene or Rosita, which honestly was her best bet. I leaned against Sasha when Eugene kept demanding to have a break because he was tired of walking. Made some kind of excuse of how we needed to be at full strength at all times and to exhaust ourselves beforehand was foolish, especially for non-civilians and children.

He earned the same heated glare as Tara at including me in his excuse after I told him off for grouping me with him. I didn't care for the looks shot my way but the grown man-child got what he wanted. I avoided Maggie’s or Glenn’s attempts to pull me to the side. I didn’t care for their complacency of keeping Tara around nor did I care for them asking me to give Tara a chance.

I took everything off my back and pulled out the silver sharpie I found in the van. I started doodling on my backpack, making a curved line off another curved line, finding it simple enough to do. I didn’t have to look to see Glenn to know he wanted me to talk to him. He shifted a lot from the corner of my eye. Seeming to take this as a chance, Abraham knelt in front of me, figuring to help the poor man who wasn't in my good books.

"Now, I know you aren't a happy camper with Glenn or Tara, but it's not safe to use the bow if you could have missed. If you happened to hit Eugene then the whole mission would have been a failure. "

Bob laughed, "She just said that to scare her. If she wanted to hit Tara with the arrow, she would have done it. Girl used that bow to take down a buck."

I stopped doodling on the backpack and stared incredulously at him. Bob lifted his hands defensively with a grin, "Sorry, didn't know it was supposed to be a secret."

Abraham seemed to mull over what Bob told him. "Keep your cards to your chest. Smart move."

I looked over at the bearded man without a word and went back to drawing on the bag. Sasha brushed a loose curl behind my ear as I leaned further into her. "Like we said, she's smarter than she looks."

"She's meaner than polecat is what she is." Eugene chimed in from behind Abraham.

I stopped moving the marker and glared past the burly man's shoulder and made eye contact with the shifty scientist. He cleared his throat, looking away and turned to Tara mumbling something to her to which she nodded. Keep it up Eugene. 

Both Bob and Sasha chuckled. Maggie rubbed her eyes, "Mean streak longer than a mile, that's for sure."

"That's comforting to know," Tara rubbed her legs, palms sweaty, not looking at me after the glare I shot Eugene.

"Cielo," Glenn pleaded but I stopped it with three words.

"One eye, Rhee."

He stuttered, unsure what to say to that. He must have given Maggie a pleading look because she was the next to try. "Honey, I'm not exactly happy about it either but I understand where Glenn is coming from."

I capped the sharpie, feeling angry and annoyed. "She's part of the reason Grandpa is dead and why we had to leave in the first place."

"But she's trying to make it right. She helped me find all of you." Glenn shifted forward. I looked over at him biting the inside of my cheek, trying to reel in the anger flowing through me. It felt as if I was going to explode, as if my blood was boiling.

"She wants to make it right?" I grabbed my bow and quiver, needing to get away. "Then make her bring back Grandpa." His face paled as the anger kept building in me. "Make her take back the moment I had to put a knife through Grandpa’s head."

It was silent as I pushed off Sasha and started walking towards the woods as the anger wouldn't stop building like a dam in me. Abraham was quick, grabbing my upper arm, "Hold on, Missy, you can’t just go running off into those woods on your own."

"Yes, I can!" I tugged my arm out of his grasp and went to keep going but he walked in front me the second time, blocking my way. I huffed, getting really agitated. Abraham's jaw seemed to clench, trying to figure me out.

Eventually, Rosita stepped in. "Okay, how about this. I'll go with her in the woods, let her blow some steam off, and we'll be back before you know it."

"That's a good idea." Maggie jumped in before Abraham could say otherwise. "Rosita will be with her. It'll keep her occupied. Keep her out of trouble and when she gets back she should be cooled off."

Abraham frowned but nodded all the same, not happy with this turn of events, probably wanting to keep the group in one spot. I looked over at the cheerful woman to see she already had the rifle strapped around her shoulder. Figuring she had everything, I walked towards the woods, mindful of the footsteps that were following me. 

It was quiet as we walked in the woods and I looked around for signs of any woodland creature, needing to focus on something other than the anger swirling within me, an outlet for it. It would also help out in the long run. That way we could save the canned food and not use it all up in one go. We weren't staying in one place to pile it up at the moment. I didn’t want another version of a lean winter during this summer as it was already heading into fall. Food will become scarce soon. 

A squirrel's bark caught my attention, looking up the trees for the furry animal. I nocked an arrow and let the arrow loose the second I spotted it, before it decided to dart around the tree. The tiny thing fell out of the tree with a thud and I walked up it, inspecting the shape my arrow was in when Rosita decided to speak. "You're really good with your bow."

"Dad taught me." 

"He uses a bow too?"

I didn't clarify that it was a crossbow but nodded all the same. I wasn’t sure how to hold onto the squirrel and keep shooting with the bow at the same time, so I handed my catch to Rosita. She looked at the small creature as if it was going to come back and bite her. I sighed, “Just hold it.”

She grabbed it by the tail, grimacing as she did so. “This doesn’t bother you?”

“No, skinning and gutting them do. This is the easy part.” I kept walking, reusing the bow from before.

Now stop talking.

“ _ You _ are the one who guts them?”

I spun around, glaring at her, “Why are you really out here with me?”

She sighed, looking around before looking back at me, keeping the squirrel at arm's length. “You remind me of me as a little kid. Always angry. Getting into trouble. Except you have people that actually give a damn about you and you’re being malcriada.”

“Estoy brava, no malcriada.” I growled at her. How in the world am I being a spoiled brat when Tara is part of the reason I lost my entire family in one day? I’m obviously mad, not spoiled!

“So you throwing a tantrum and not talking the whole way here-”

“Tara is part of the reason my entire family is broken up!” I shouted at Rosita, who didn’t flinch at the outburst. “She’s the reason I had to be put in a bus with the others who couldn’t fight or run because they were sick or kids just like me. I had to watch my Grandpa turn into a walker and kill him. I had to hear all the other people on the bus get torn apart and eaten while I had to hide in the back. I was covered in  _ their _ blood!" I shouted at her as tears were starting to fall, chest so tight I wasn't sure how I was able to breath. Rosita's shoulders seemed to have dropped, face still stoic, but her eyes clearly felt my pain. "I was covered in their blood for a  _ whole _ day. All I kept thinking is whose else blood was spilled. Who knows who else died because of her!”

My lips wobbled as the tears ran down my face, “My Daddy and Uncle Merle could be dead and Glenn is there being best friends with the person who ruined it all.”

Rosita didn’t say anything but walked up to me, hugging me to her, rubbing my back soothingly. “Shh, it’s okay. Let it out.”

“He thinks it’s okay.” My words were muffled in her shirt, letting the tears out. I don’t know how long we stood in the woods with me sobbing into her shirt but when I was done, everything felt a bit lighter in my chest. My blood wasn’t boiling as much anymore and the need to explode wasn’t there anymore.

“Let’s go, okay?” She smiled at me, gripping tightly to me, not letting me go.

I sighed, nodding, letting her guide me back towards the road from where we came from.


	45. We Found Terminus...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is today's Monday update!
> 
> My usual treats on Fridays has slowed because I am catching up faster to the chapters that I have written, so I don't have that large gap as I did before. Mostly because of me writing chapters like 50a, 50b, 50c and then going into 51a, 51b, 52a, 52AA, 52b..
> 
> Yes, I'm insane LOL
> 
> Thank you for comment and Kudos, it just reminds me of what I should be focusing on as I write my chapters!

The rest of the walk leading up the Terminus was for the most part quiet. When I came back with a tear-stained face everyone seemingly decided to leave me alone. I leaned heavily on Sasha when I got back but Abraham didn’t let us stay there long after Rosita and I got back. He felt we stayed put long enough and that Eugene should have had plenty of rest. I held on to the squirrel the whole walk along the train tracks because I didn’t want to get anything in the bag covered in blood. Better that it drips to the floor.

Before I knew it, there was a large brick building heading towards the end of the train tracks, all of them leading inside of the building. Inside, I was thrilled to finally find the place Maggie was so adamant to find. That meant I could eventually get some nice warm blankets to snuggle into. To just hide in for the rest of the day...

Assuming they have actual beds to sleep on. Summer ended a whole lot faster than what any of us expected but we're doing pretty good so far.

Glenn and the others raised their rifles as we cautiously neared the building. I stared at the large letters along the building clearly stating we had found Terminus. As we got closer, there was a gate with a sign clearly stating to lower our weapons as we came in or to expect an unfriendly welcome. I frowned at the message but Glenn said nothing as he looked back at us. He just pushed the gate open, lowering his rifle as he went in, Maggie following him. I waited till Rosita was behind me, letting Bob walk in first, the sprain not fully healed but it was being nice enough to let him walk on it.

Before I went in, I took my gun from my waistband and put it inside the backpack on top of the clothes. Abraham and Rosita both had patience as I did so but followed me as soon as I took a step past the gates. Upon walking in it appeared to look like a corridor where you had basins to do laundry, a small vegetable garden, and an area to wash dishes. This place was organized and felt like what the prison could have been if it wasn’t for the Governor coming to take it away.

As we all neared the end of the corridor, the first thing that one noticed was a woman hanging up laundry on a clothesline, the smell of meat sizzling on a grill not far from her. She turned to grab another washed piece of clothing when she noticed us standing behind her. 

"Oh!" Was the surprised reaction before she broke out into a smile. She walked around the tables around her until she stood a good distance from us, not wanting to startle us with sudden movements. "Hi, I'm Mary. It looks like you've been on the road awhile." She sighed, quickly looking over us.

"We have." Maggie was the one to answer for us. I looked around the place, amazed at how empty the place seemed. At the prison, we didn't have a lot of people originally but we grew over nearly a year. For a place that was advertising to come here, you would think it would be full.

"Where's the other people?" I frowned. 

Mary seemed surprised that I spoke, "Oh, you have a child?"

I blinked up at her perplexed. Did she not see me next to Abraham and Rosita?

"Yeah, that's Cielo, if you aren’t careful she'll run circles around you." Glenn tried to joke.

Mary smiled wider at me before turning to the others, "She’s precious. We haven’t seen a child in a long time. I promise that she is going to be everyone’s favorite.”

I leaned into the leg closest to me, not caring if it was Rosita or Abraham, doing my best to look shy. A large hand rested on the top of my head and I knew immediately that I leaned on Abraham’s leg. Well, it does look better if I wanted to look shy to hide behind the big guy. Mary took one more look at me before turning to Maggie.

“Let's get you settled and then we'll make you a plate. Welcome to Terminus." She gestured to the tables, ignoring my question, and everyone started to walk over to rest at the tables. I clung onto Abraham's hand before he pulled it away from my head, anxiously looking around the place. Abraham didn’t let on that he was surprised or shocked at my sudden need to hold his hand but let me do so without a word.

He walked to a table where Rosita had picked and I sat next to her, seeing that Maggie and the others picked a table right next to ours, each picnic table seeming to seat six people. All of us were taking off our backpacks, taking in the short relief from not having to carry everything on our backs for the moment. Sasha and Bob sat at the table with Maggie and Tara sat next to Glenn, furthest away from me. That left me with the DC crew, leaving Eugene sitting across from me with Abraham as his constant body guard. Abraham’s eyes ran a studious gaze over me. “Wanna talk about the shy act?” He asked quietly.

I blinked over at him but before I could say anything a new voice boomed from the side of the tables. “Welcome!”

We all turned over to a lean man with brown hair coming over with a grin, three other men right behind him. He scanned over us, landing on me for a moment, before turning a bright smile to Mary. “I see you all met my mom, Mary. I’m Gareth and this guy here,” he pulled another man looking similar to him towards him, “is my brother, Alex. Before we let you roam around freely, we would prefer that you all would lay down your weapons in front of you.”

His eyes noticed Abraham’s tensed form and quickly added, “We aren’t going to take them, it’s just a precaution. You can put it on the table if it makes you comfortable but if you reach for any of them before we say so, well,” Gareth looked above us, “it won’t be a nice welcome.”

All of us started to look at the rooftops of the buildings around us, seeing a few rifles pointed at us. I bit the bottom of my lip nervously, figuring out that is where some of the other people of Terminus were. Forgetting I was holding a squirrel on hand, I placed it on the table first, looking up at Abraham wondering what to do. Abraham’s weird mustache/beard twitched but he laid down the rifle on the table either way. The others quickly followed and I reached over my shoulder taking off the bow and quiver, laying them on the ground in front of me before placing my hunting knife on the table.

As I was placing the hunting knife I was given last Christmas by Rick and Carl, I suddenly remembered the small one that was always hidden away in my boot. Figuring to keep that one a secret as intended, I left the one in the boot alone and gave the best clueless expression I could have, unsure of how this place worked. As Gareth scanned over the weapons he narrowed in on the armored Eugene. “Where is yours?”

Clearly not used to being confronted, Eugene stuttered a bit before answering, “I am a man of many talents but the skills one needs in order to fire any weapon was something that has completely skipped my DNA.”

One of the men next to Alex scoffed, “So the kid can use a knife and a bow but you can’t use a gun?”

“She is far more vicious than she looks, I assure you.” He replied to the man. Knowing that I would be scrutinized next, I rolled my eyes at Eugene’s commentary, which was pretty genuine. Alex let out a chuckle. 

“I’m sure you don’t mind if we pat you down, just to be sure.” Gareth nodded at Eugene.

“Now hold on a minute,” I nearly groaned at Abraham’s need to protect Eugene at this moment. It’s not like they were going to stab or shoot him. They were just going to pat him down. “We have done exactly as you asked. All of us with weapons had put them down or laid them on the table. Eugene here is the last person alive to know how to fix this mess and we’re on our way to Washington DC to get him to the lab. We have no quarrel with you. You are more than welcome to join us if you like.”

Gareth and the other men laughed, looking at each other before looking back at the tall man, “I’m sorry but no one is leaving this place.”

My head snapped over to Maggie seeing her just as bewildered as I was feeling. Wondering if she had a way to talk out of this hole Abraham put us in. Tara seemed to be the one who was brave enough to ask. “What do you mean no one leaves this place?”

“In today’s world,” Gareth sighed, making a strange hand motion that had the other men with him pull out guns and aiming at us, “you are either the predators or the prey. If you had joined us, you would have been one of us, a predator. Since you clearly have no intentions of staying," He grinned with a wave of both hands, "you’re the prey.”

One of the men walked towards our table, gun held up, keeping an eye on the three of them and I felt the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up. The second I saw his hand reach for me, I ran off to the side, swiping the knife off the table. “Shit,” the man hissed and a gunshot fired in the air stopped whoever was behind me. I cringed because I knew that gunshot alerted the others of Terminus that something went wrong.

“Cielo, run!” Glenn shouted, more than likely unable to escape as I did.

“Grab the kid!” Gareth yelled.

I focused on the way we got in but saw Mary blocking my way, so I quickly changed routes and ran towards one of the buildings that they had come out of. Even if there were other people in there, I would be able to dodge around or go underneath places a grown adult couldn’t. This is the only time that I was happy being a bit small for my size.

I pulled the door and immediately ran underneath an arm that pushed it open at the same time. I didn’t dare to stare at the faces I was running past, knowing that they weren’t expecting me to come through that door. I scanned my surroundings, seeing little microphones connected to machines, the only obstacles I have to use in the enormous room. I dove under one, hearing several shoes squeak at the sudden stop. I ran further to the back of the room seeing another door.

“The back door!” Someone yelled.

I turned the knob and pulled, seeing someone try to lunge for me and ducked, sticking the bladed edge towards them and sliced into a random part of their body. The person was a woman by the way she screamed as the hunting knife connected with whatever part of her I had gotten. I didn’t dare to stop and kept going, seeing fences by these huge containers. “Get the girl!” Someone shouted as I heard a concerned muttering from where I had left. 

Gunshots rang out and there were sparks lighting up in front of me, a shriek escaping my mouth as I made a turn to hide behind one of the containers, avoiding the gunfire. I managed to get to the edge when the sparking sounds of the bullets hitting the ground behind me, encouraging me to hide behind the container and out of sight. Another scream left me as there was loud banging from inside the metal container.

“Help us!”

“Let us out!”

“Get us out of here!”

I stared in horror as the red container was shaking with the people trapped inside of it. I didn’t have too much time to dwell on it as I heard the gravel of the small pebbles shifting under heavy weight, so I dove underneath the raised container, crawling underneath the middle to be out of reach. My heart pounded loudly in my ears as I saw the boots standing where I was just seconds ago. “Dammit,” the man growled, running around the other side of the container. “Shut up!” he yelled at the people screaming for help.

There was a static sound before a voice came out of it. “Catch the kid yet?”

They had walkies.

The man clicked the button, replying to who checked in, “She’s sneaky. Sliced Delia’s arm pretty bad. Can’t have gone too far.”

The static replied with who I think was Gareth, “We’re taking the rest to A. When you catch her, toss her in there. I’m headed to the distribution building to make more signs.”

“Will do,” he growled, walking off from whatever container I was hiding under. I clung tighter to the knife, eyeing the well worn brown boots uneasily. He stopped once more before letting out a sharp whistle, “Where the kid go?”

A shout further away answered him, “She ran around B but didn’t see her come out the other way.”

The person shooting at me is on the roof. 

I bit my lip anxiously, wishing I had my gun and didn’t leave it in the backpack with the others. The silence was nerve wracking, waiting to see what the man in the brown boots was going to do, wondering if he was going to look underneath the giant container. If the person shooting at me is on the roof they’ll see me as soon as I crawl from under it. I turned my head to look at the fence that was behind the giant red metal. If I could climb that fast enough, even the person on the roof can’t spot me until I already reached the top, it didn’t look as high as the prison fences. 

Inching as quietly as possible to the edge, I kept one eye on the brown boots that moved to the front, and I pushed off the ground. I sheathed the knife and grasped the fence with both hands, thankful that these boots were a whole lot more cooperative than the last pair I wore trying to climb a fence. The rattling coming from the fence started my clock. 

They knew I was here.

I was halfway over the fence when a pair of hands ripped me off and I screamed. “Let me go!”

“No can do,” a different voice than the one talking into the walkie replied in my ear. I reached for the hunting knife and pulled it out, aiming for a soft spot behind me and heard him scream in my ear as I connected. His grip was weak and I kicked out, managing to get loose and pulled the knife with me, hearing the horrible wet sound of flesh being torn before I was running off again.

“Little shit stabbed me!” he wheezed to whoever ran up to him. 

Gunfire sparking at my feet once more, I turned to avoid any direct hits, scanning the area I was heading into. I saw another building but they fired at my feet once more, stopping me from reaching the building I wanted, forcing me to make a sharp turn between the two buildings. Feeling something was wrong, I ran for another container they had with a giant C on the side, this one completely on the ground compared to the one I hid under before. The gunshots fired in front of me, stopping me from doing the same maneuver as before and I backtracked, turning to see various people running up with rifles of their own. 

Panting, I went to run between the two buildings to see people were running up from there too. “Back away from the train car!” Someone yelled at me.

Multiple rifles were aimed at me and I was trapped against the container I now know to be a train car. I stayed frozen in place, scanning for any spots to slip into, hide under, or even climb up on. A single shot echoed in the air and a small hole was made into the train car's edge behind me. A scream left me at the close call. “I said back away from the train car!”

Terrified, I moved away from the train car, not wanting one of those bullets to land in me. All rifles followed my movement and the same person ordered the next thing, “Drop the knife!”

Heart thundering in my chest, I looked at the red knife dripping with blood, too scared to drop it and nervous to not. I looked back up, both of my arms out and slowly squatting down to lay down the knife before slowly standing up again. Once I did that, the person who I assumed was the one ordering me around, motioned for someone next to him to move up. This man was far more nimble in his movements walking up to me but I still looked around hoping to see something I could use.

Instead, I saw the whole place was riddled with bullets. This wasn’t the first time that someone had managed to give them the go around and I think I wouldn’t be the last person. I felt my heart start dropping itself down to my stomach realizing that they’ve been doing this a whole lot longer than just today. They have a system for catching their ‘prey’.

I grunted as the person grabbed the back of my neck, pushing me down to see nothing but the concrete floor, “Come on, you brat.” The words didn’t have any heat to them. I was just the annoyance of the day for him. 

“Pat her down first!” The man doing the ordering shouted at the man who had his entire hand wrapped around the back of my neck. “Are you an idiot or what? What if she got other weapons on her.”

The man sighed. “She’s what four foot two? Four foot four? How many weapons can she hide on her?”

“Pat her down, Martin!”

“Sheesh,” he mumbled and I yelped as he gathered my hair in a tight fist and pulled my head up, the little strands of hairs stinging, “hold still.”

I stayed put as he unzipped my jacket, feeling for any weapons in its lining, silently praying that he would miss the one in my boot. The knife was small enough that the top of the handle reached the edge of the boot, safely protected in its own sheath. He didn’t feel anything in the jacket and moved on to patting my arms and pulling up the back of the jacket to look for anything. He untied the sheathe for the hunting knife and tossed it over to where I put down the knife. I did my best to not tense up as he started to search my legs, breathing in and out as calmly as I could, heart pounding as his fingers neared the smaller knife.

Instant relief filled me as his hand went back to the nape of my neck. “See, Oliver, nothing there.” Martin directed me to walk in front of him, the others lowering their rifles. We walked silently through the area I think they were trying to scare me into, seeing another train car with the letter A. Martin walked up the ramp to get into the train cart and opened the door wide enough to push me in. I fell forward, grunting as the door slammed closed behind me. 

“Damn,” Abraham was the first to say something. “I was hoping you made it out, kiddo.”

Maggie helped me up. “They had people on the roof,” I informed them, patting my knees from the dirt I was crawling in underneath the other cart.

“They had snipers other than the entrance?” Rosita sounded concerned.

I nodded, looking over at her in the dark, the small light that came through the small holes barely enough to see her. “And there were other people in different train cars, too.”

Everyone was quiet and I looked up at Maggie, who wrapped her arms around herself, the poncho she had worn gone. “What do you think they meant by we were ‘prey’?”

“I don’t know but I'm sure we’ll find out,” Glenn whispered.

* * *

It’s been a whole day, from what the little holes in the train cart could tell us, and no one came back to check in on us. I was laying my head on Maggie’s thigh, letting her fingers comb through my hair, staring blankly at the wall in front of me. No one was talking, the ideas of how to get out of here stopped a few hours before we went to sleep. The only bright side about being locked up in here was that walkers couldn’t reach us. They would get the people of Terminus before they would us but if that happened, who would open the door outside?

My stomach was growling loud enough that whoever was near could hear it but I heard Maggie’s doing the same quietly, clearly just as hungry as I was, so I didn’t dare complain. We were all hungry and thirsty, so whoever was to keep track of us clearly had us at their mercy when we did and didn’t get to eat or drink. I was the lucky one out of the nine of us. I still had a jacket to keep me warm overnight while the others had their coats and jackets taken away, leaving them in their long-sleeved shirts only. They even went as far as to take Maggie’s bracelet. 

At least I still had the little knife...

Our heads snapped up when we heard gunfire echoing throughout Terminus again. “They caught another group,” I told them, having a good idea of what this new group was going through. I frowned, hoping that whoever they were had a better time than I did at getting out but deep down, something told me life wasn’t that nice. 

Not anymore. 

Or maybe it never was but I’m seeing it now.

“I wonder if they’ll get out…” Bob sighed from the corner. 

Eugene was the first to answer him. “If they were caught with their pants down like we were, then the likelihood of their success of escape is fifteen percent at most.”

“Is that with you being generous or low expectations?” Sasha turned to look at Eugene.

“The spot they caught me had a lot of bullets in the walls, so this is something they do all the time, he’s probably being generous,” I told Sasha, laying my head back on Maggie’s thigh. 

The mood soured further in the train car, listening to the gunfire getting louder and closer, surprising all of us. “They’re corralling them over here.” Glenn was shocked. We all stood and Maggie pushed me towards the far corner of the rectangular metal container. Rosita, Maggie, and Sasha all blocked me from sight, turning their bodies to the door in case it opened to bring in these random strangers.

We listened as the gunfire came to a stop. 

It was silent for a good minute before we heard Gareth’s voice shout out a bit in the distance, “Drop your weapons, now.”

Silence ensued and the group must have not listened because Gareth was a bit angrier than the first time he said it. “Now!”

Bob sighed sadly, hoping that these people had different luck than what we did. I bit my lip anxiously, feeling the skin on my lip starting to peel from biting the same spot over and over, “They got caught.” No one said a thing. Everyone was listening to what was going on outside.

“Ringleader, go to your left, train cart, go.” Were the orders Gareth gave to the group. It was silent and Gareth spoke once more. “You do what we say and the boy goes with you, you do anything else, he dies, and you end up in there anyway.”

We heard the footsteps of a person getting closer to our cart before Gareth gave another command, “Now the archer.”

That caught my attention. Archer?

I pulled my lip from my worrying teeth and nibbled on the nail of my thumb instead, not biting at it. What are the chances that there is someone else who knew how to shoot arrows?

Another set of footsteps were coming over, before the next command sounded off, “Now the samurai.”

My head snapped up at Maggie, “What’s the chances of that being Daryl and Michonne?”

Maggie wasn’t the one to answer me, Sasha was. “Let’s not get our hopes up just yet.”

I pouted at that but I knew what she meant. If I made myself excited thinking it was more of our family, of my new dad, then I would be beyond disappointed if it was other people who picked up the same skills. After all, I knew nothing about shooting a bow until Daryl took the time to teach me. Anyone else could have learned by themselves in two years. We heard the third set of footsteps in front of the door, all three waiting.

“Stand at the door. Ringleader, Archer, Samurai, in that order.” Gareth directed the three already standing outside.

“My son!” Was the shout outside the door, full of anger and worry.

I moved my hand away from my mouth, starting to twirl the ring on my forefinger, the sensation not as calming as when it was on my thumb. “You can’t tell me that wasn’t Rick,” I muttered to Sasha, my heart starting to beat with excitement.

I saw her head shaking, “I-I’m not sure. It could be.” She whispered to me.

I was rocking back and forth on my heels, knowing that was Rick. If that was Rick then the archer that Gareth mentioned was Daryl! 

“Everyone, move away from the door. Better safe than sorry.” Abraham ordered. Everyone who wasn’t already blocking me from view in the far corner started to come over, eyeing the door with curiosity on who would be coming inside.

“Go kid,” the barely heard order from Gareth gave the man’s son to start coming over. Soft steps were making their way towards us and Gareth didn’t waste a second. “Ringleader, open the door and go in.”

The man, who I was sure was Rick, had a gruff response to Gareth. “I'll go in with him.” 

Gareth didn’t care. “Don't make us kill him now.”

With the warning clearly given, the man started to walk up the wooden ramp, the clicking of the cart unlocking echoing loudly in the empty cart. A man came in and I couldn’t see him clearly beyond the people blocking my way but I knew his eyes focused on what was going on behind him before the other two who were behind him followed just as quick and quiet. Maggie’s quiet gasp caught my attention and I wanted to see who they exactly were when the fourth person came in, the cart closing immediately behind them.

I noticed Glenn was the first to start moving up, Maggie right behind him with a bit of distance, Glenn being the one to call out. “Rick?”

“You’re here.” Was the response of the voice I clearly knew as Rick. A large smile grew on my face as I turned to look past Rosita, seeing Daryl’s face over Rick’s shoulder. Daryl’s eye was black but not swollen and he had a split lip, likely fighting someone recently. 

“Daddy!” I shouted, running past the two women, all eyes on me. Being used to the darkness that the cart was cloaked in, I saw the shock on his face but he quickly moved past Rick, kneeling down and picking me up as soon as I wrapped my arms around his neck.   


I hid my face in his neck, tears starting to flow out of my eyes, “I missed you.”

Daryl didn’t say anything, he kissed the top of my head, clinging onto me just as tight as I was to him. He rested his cheek against my head, feeling the muscles in his face twitching just as much as the one around his neck. Finally, he choked out a quiet, “Missed ya too, baby girl. Ya got no idea.”

Daryl adjusted his grip on me, keeping me in his arms as he looked over the group of people that were in the cart with us. I looked over his shoulder and smiled at Michonne, who caressed my cheek with a smile of her own. I wiped the tears off my face, silently getting mad at myself for crying at a good thing for once. When I looked back, Rick seemed to be surveying the group of people behind the ones he knew as well and Maggie was the one to say something. “They’re our friends.”

Michonne looked over my head at that and Maggie went on. “They helped save us.”

“Yeah,” Daryl nodded over at them, “now their friends of ours.”

“For however long that’ll be,” Abraham muttered defeatedly, walking away.

“No,” Rick shook his head, confidence seeping through. “They're gonna feel pretty stupid when they find out.”

“Find out what?”

Rick had a gleam in his eye when he answered. “They're screwing with the wrong people.”

“Well, since we’re all getting along, Eugene is a bit of a weirdo, just so you guys know,” I warned them. A low chuckle escaped Daryl and Rick, both looking at me. Eugene stuttered, unsure of how to reply to that.

“Boy, did I miss that smart mouth,” Daryl kissed the top of my head again and I basked in it. The chances of him being this open of how much he cared for me were slim. I knew he was a private man. He didn’t do it often and I wasn’t going to let anyone ruin it.

Not Eugene.

And sure as hell not Abraham.

Daryl slowly put me back down, running a hand over my head and I looked over at Carl, who was silent the entire time. I saw his cheek was scraped, scabbing over, and he seemed to shy away from my staring. Seeing he wasn’t his usual self, I poked at what may be left of his ego, “Not gonna say ‘hi’, baboso?”

Carl cracked a grin and I knew he was okay with me approaching him. I wrapped my arms around him, seeing that he was a bit more than a head taller than me now, and I pouted. “You’re getting freakishly tall, Grimes.”

“Pfft, you’re just extremely short, Cruz.” Was the reply.

I sighed, leaning my head against his chest, “I know, it’s terrible.”

Several snickers echoed throughout the cart. I ignored the unsaid jabs about my height in those little chortles that they tried to hide but I let them have it. Seeing as we were trapped with dangerous people, this is a break in our reality. I let go of Carl and stayed put, seeing as this was the closest to Daryl while having my partner in crime next to me.

“They always like that?” Rosita asked, some tension from before leaving her shoulders.

Both Rick and Daryl had large smirks. Daryl was the one to answer her. “Fought like cats and dogs when the two first met.”

“Now, they’re thick as thieves,” Rick added after.

I glanced over at Carl and saw him do the same to me, both of us doing our best to try to hide the smirks growing on our faces but failing spectacularly. We definitely were far from when we first met that’s for sure. Michonne caught onto our stares and I blinked owlishly up at her, pretending that it never happened, which earned me an amused sparkle in her eyes.

“How did you guys get here?” Rick asked.

I groaned and looked over at the ex-army redhead in the back, silently answering the question, but Rick couldn’t see me from behind him. Abraham shuffled forward, “They seemed nice enough. We just got here, but, damn. When I told them about DC, a wink and a nod from the head asshole in charge, they pulled their guns and it was right back to our regularly scheduled shitstorm.”

Eloquently put there, Abraham.

Everyone started to break off into smaller groups. Rick walked up to Abraham, Glenn, and Rosita standing nearby listening to the two men, adding their ideas when the moment strikes. Daryl immediately walked up to Maggie as Sasha had to Michonne. I sat down, knowing there wasn’t much to do and Carl followed my lead of resting against the metal wall behind us. I listened in to the closest conversations, Daryl’s with Maggies being the hardest to hear with his low cautious voice.

“Black car with a white cross painted on it. I tried to follow it. I tried.” Daryl told Maggie, unsure what that was supposed to mean.

“But she's alive?” Maggie asked with concern.

The ‘she’ has to be Beth because she wasn’t here. 

Daryl nodded at her. “She's alive.”

“Okay, everyone listen carefully,” Rick’s authoritative voice had a roughness to it that I didn’t remember. “Find something in the cart that you can use to sharpen into a knife. Plastic spoons, piece of wood, your belts, anything that is in here.”

Everyone had scattered but I stayed in my spot watching the others look around or search their person. Rick didn’t miss a beat and walked over to me. He raised a brow and I gave him a toothy smile as I tapped my boot. He chuckled and shook his head, eyes beaming at me, “Make one and leave that as back up.”

“‘Kay,” I sighed, getting up and went to one of the ends of the cart, looking for anything that wasn’t discarded from the previous group that was in here. It took several minutes for us all to find an item and sharpening it against the bottom of the cart. When I was sharpening the wooden piece I found tossed in a corner, I looked up at Daryl, wondering about the other Dixon. “Daryl, did you ever see Merle?”

He didn’t stop sharpening his makeshift knife, silently staring at the floor. I looked at the ground nervously, wondering what could have happened to him. He wasn’t exactly the kind of guy who would lie down and let the world take a piece out of him. I bit the inside of my cheek, feeling the worry turn into a fear that he didn’t make it. Somewhere along the last few weeks, something had to have happened to Merle, during or after the prison fell. I stopped sharpening the wood and reached for the dog tags under my shirt, silently wishing that he would be alright.

Daryl never missed a detail and quickly took note of the movement. “What is it?”

I pulled out the dog tags that I wrapped around my throat so it wouldn’t dangle to my belly button. “I took these off Merle telling him he had to find me if he wanted it back.” I bit my lip before whispering to him. “He promised he would come back with you.”

Daryl stopped and took a look at me, eyes falling to the dogtags I was clenching in a hand. His head nodded, “Then he’ll come find ya first not me.”

Distant sounds of the walkie were coming closer, alerting everyone that there were people from Terminus nearing the cart. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stood. Rick went up to a hole to see what was going on, Daryl not far behind at a different one, the sound of men chatting getting louder. “What are you doing? Everybody shut up. Shut up!” The man sounded like Oliver, once more commandeering a group of people headed our way.

“All right, got four of them pricks coming our way.” Daryl nodded over at Rick.

“Y'all know what to do. Go for their eyes first. Then their throats.” Rick directed as loud as he could. Daryl walked back and pushed me behind him, angling his body towards the door with Rick being the closest one, ready to strike.

“Put your backs to the walls on either side of the car now,” Oliver ordered from outside. No one moved. A sudden loud bang sounded above us before footsteps rattled the roof. Whoever was on the roof of the cart was more than likely another sniper. Keep us corralled like what Rick did with the pigs.

A door opened from above, surprising all of us, and an item dropped to the bottom of the cart. It rolled off to the side and I leaned closer to see what it was but Abraham shouted, recognizing what it was immediately. “Move!”

No one argued and Daryl quickly pushed me further away from the canister as an exploding hiss sounded not long after Abraham’s yell. The smell from the can reached my nose and I felt like I was going to throw up. I waved the smoke that was rising up, burning my eyes and throat, waving the cloud away from me. Everyone around me wasn’t doing any better. Everyone was almost to their knees at whatever gas was coming out of the can. 

The front door clanged open, my eyes were tearing up from the horrible smell coming out of the can as masked faces came inside, pulling Rick out. My eyes closed at a hard cough that rattled my ribcage, reminding me briefly of those two days I was sick with that flu, when a pair of hands picked me up. I couldn’t really fight against whoever grabbed me because my body was too focused on coughing out the gas I was just breathing in. 


	46. We're the Little Pigs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a Christmas gift from me.
> 
> Bit of a bloody chapter filled with death but I'm sure it will be enjoyed all the same!
> 
> And Happy Holidays to everyone else who doesn't celebrate Christmas, I know there are several that are going on before and after Christmas day.
> 
> Thank you for Comments and Kudos!

Our hands were all tied up and Rick was unconscious when I was able to see better without coughing up a lung. Confused, I turned around to look at what was going on but the group of four men turned out to be a group of six, so two of them managed to sneak around the train cart. I watched as one of the men walked over to Rick and opened his mouth, shoving a strip of cloth between them and tying it at the back of his head. I turned to see that we were sitting outside of a building, our train car out of sight. Scared, I looked for more familiar faces and saw Glenn and Daryl out here with me. There was someone behind me but I couldn't turn around to see who. Neither one seemed happy that I was out here with them and I couldn’t blame them. I didn’t like the fact that any of us were at Terminus to begin with.

The man going around gagging people with the grey piece of cloth turned to Daryl. Daryl’s glare could have ended the man where he stood but sadly giving people the evil eye didn’t work like that. The man punched Daryl in the face hard enough that it stunned the hunter to shove the cloth in his mouth and tied it behind his head just as quickly as Rick. It wasn’t any easier when he got to Glenn or me but he managed to slip the cotton between our teeth. By the time he secured the knot behind my head, I saw Rick coming back to the living, head turning side to side.

“Carry that one in first,” Oliver ordered. Two men did as he asked as Oliver and another man stayed put, guns pointed at us to make sure we wouldn’t do anything. Once Rick was carried in, the other two without guns grabbed Daryl, pulling him up. Daryl growled through the strip of cloth and started to shake the two men off him but they had a tighter grip as they dragged him away. Our eyes briefly connected, the worry he had for me loud and clear and I shouted, the words being muffled but the word being understood all the same.

The two men that brought Rick in first came back for Glenn. Oliver walked over to me, a gleam in his eye making me nervous, “Don’t you worry. You’ll be with your Dad real soon. Up you get.” He pulled me up. I dug my heels in, not wanting to go into the building. Oliver growled and picked me up by my belt with one hand and holding me by my other arm. I kicked and squirmed as hard as I could to get out of his grasp, the sounds of a saw getting louder as he pushed open a door, taking me inside.

I froze, staring at where the sounds of the saw were, seeing a body laid out on the table, a bullet hole on the man’s head. Everything around the body was covered in bloodstains, including the aprons and face shields of the two people who were standing by the body. One of them set down the handheld saw, brief silence from the machine, and saw him turn around to put a leg into a bucket. The limb missing the upper thigh and foot. The scream that left my throat was barely muffled by the strip of cloth. My scream seemed to have startled the two men by the table but Oliver wasn’t having it.

“Shut up!” He tossed me on the ground. I grunted at the impact but quickly sat up, seeing a concrete block behind me and I backed up into whatever that was. I was breathing heavily, staring at the scene in front of me, not needing to have anyone tell me what this place was. This was a slaughterhouse.

And we were the little pigs.

I whimpered, tears flowing at the corners of my eyes and I looked over to see Rick, Daryl, Bob, and Glenn all lined up in front of a metal trough. Quite similar to what Rick had built for the piglets back at the prison to eat out of. Daryl looked over at me, the fear he was trying to hide coming through, realizing what was going on. He shook his head in disbelief and both Rick and Glenn weren’t any better when they realized I was here too. 

I saw movement from another door and more people were being brought in, likely the other train cart I ran past yesterday. The people being brought in were just as terrified as I was, sweating bullets. When the last person being dragged into the room came into view, I screamed through the cotton. A dazed Merle knelt in front of the trough and the people who brought him in pulled out a zip tie, bending down and zipping it at what could be his feet. The unfocused eyes were squinting over at me and I shouted as much as I could over the whimpering of the three men brought in with Merle. 

Oliver snorted, “One hell of a family reunion for you.”

One of the men wearing the aprons grabbed a knife from a nearby table and another item. I wasn’t sure what it was but the way he kept running the knife over it told me it sharpened the knives. The second man walked towards the other end of the trough and picked up a metal bat, swinging it in his hands before standing behind a feeble blonde man. The man’s entire body was shaking and the bald man with the metal bat struck the back of his head, the strike echoing over the whimpers. The hit was hard enough to knock out the blonde-haired man, head falling into the trough. The one with the knife pulled the head back and swiped the edge of the blade across the unconscious man’s neck, blood spouting like a fountain.

I screamed, curling up into myself, back securely against the block, shaking my head in denial. This couldn’t be happening. I saw the two men walk down the row to the second man that was there, who closed his eyes, shaking his head in denial like I was. I closed my eyes as the bat went to swing, the sound still echoing as it made contact with his skull, the same sound of blood pouring into the trough mere seconds later.

“Hey, guys. What were your shot counts?” Gareth’s calm voice contrasted heavily with one of the men who were screaming. I opened my eyes to see Gareth had appeared over Oliver’s shoulder carrying a clipboard, unnerved at what was going on around here.

“Thirty-eight.” The man with the bat answered before hitting the fourth person in line. I looked away as the man with the knife came closer to the poor soul that would no longer be with us. I jumped at the sound of the blood pouring out of him as I looked beyond Gareth and Oliver, looking up at the glass ceiling above us, hoping for a miracle, knowing the next in line was Merle.

“Hey!” Gareth shouted, making me jump and eyes snap back to him. Gareth looked over at the man with the knife who had yet to answer. “Your shot count?”

“Crap, man, I'm sorry. It was my first roundup.” The man was nervous to admit he messed up and Gareth just sighed at the inconvenience.

“After you're done here, go back to your point and count the shells. Kaylee won't be gathering them until tomorrow.” Gareth went to make a notation of the unknown amount when Bob called out to him.

“Hey. Hey, let me talk to you.” The words were warped but clearly understood. Gareth looked up at the line up at the trough.

“Four from A, five from D?”

Oliver grunted, “Five and five. Got the brat from yesterday. Clark is cleaning up my station before I chuck her over there.”

“Oh,” Gareth spotted me cowering at the block, tears silently running down my face. He pointed his pen at me, “Delia’s going to definitely want a bite out of you. You cut her arm to the bone and Greg's dead because of you.”

I turned to the body laying on the table, wondering if that was Greg but Gareth chuckled, answering my unasked question. “No, we don’t eat one of our own. Have to have some morals.”

Did he say  _ eat _ ?

“Hey, let me talk to you for a minute.” Bob tried again but Gareth continued to ignore him. Oliver looked over at Gareth. 

“We got a bit of a family reunion here.” Oliver pointed at Merle, ”Big guy over there is her uncle and Mr. Archer himself is her pops.”

Gareth took a look at the two men, who would have put him twelve feet under with their looks alone, mouth twisting into a comical frown, “Explains quite a bit.”

“Let me talk to you for a minute. Let me talk to you for a minute.” Bob’s muffled cries to Gareth continued. Gareth’s eyes flashed with annoyance and he turned to Bob.

“What?” He spat, motioning for someone to remove the gag from Bob’s mouth.

“Don't do this. We can fix this.” Bob pleaded as soon as it was untied, beads of sweat on his forehead, eyes nearly bulging out. I started to bite at the cloth nervously, the only thing I could do since my lip was out of reach for my teeth to nibble at.

“No, you can't.” Gareth deadpanned, holding onto the clipboard with both hands.

“You don't have to do this. We told you there's a way out of all this. You just have to take a chance.” I cringed as Bob was starting to bring up the whole plan to DC. These men didn’t care. Apparently, they plan to  _ eat us.  _ All they cared about is that we were cooking on the grill up front. This is just some fantasy you’re giving them Bob!

Even I don’t believe Eugene can fix it.

“We have a man who knows how to stop it. He has a cure. We just have to get him to Washington. You don't have to do this, man. We can put the world back to how it was.” 

“Can't go back, Bob.” Gareth glanced at something on his clipboard, disregarding what Bob was telling him. As I chewed the cloth at the sides of my mouth, I felt it loosening. A younger man arrived from around the corner I didn’t realize was part of a hallway. 

“Hey, Oliver, got your station cleaned up. You’re good to go.” My eyes widened and I shook my head, biting harder on the cloth, trying to free up my teeth. He was taking me to that station. A scream ripped from my throat as I started to crawl away from the hovering Oliver. 

“No!” Several shouts rang out, clear as day even being gagged, as Oliver went to reach for me.

"Cielo!" Was Merle’s shout.

As soon as his hand reached for me, I spat out the cloth and bit down on the fingers that reached out for me, Merle's advice of biting down on people meaning harm coming to the front of my mind. I heard a loud snap and crunch echo in my ears over the painful scream that left Oliver’s mouth. “Fucking shit!” he yelled, pulling his hand away, a warm metallic zing exploding in my mouth and the warmth landed on my face as well. I turned my head and spat out the blood pooling in my mouth, two digits flying as I did.

Oliver’s dark glare turned to me, cradling the bleeding hand that had its own red river flowing from the missing fingers. He stomped over to me and I knew he was going to kick me before he even did it. I wasn’t sure how I knew, but I knew. I curled up and twisted my feet to kick back at the boot coming down at me, sliding me further away. "You little-" Oliver roared but didn’t get to finish.

"Oliver!" Gareth shouted, stopping the man from coming after me. My heart was thundering in my chest as I fearfully stared back at the furious man. "Cover that up and go to the infirmary before you bleed out," Gareth ordered him, cool eyes shifting to me.

Oliver growled, "Just let me chop off the brats head first."

My breathing got a little harder. Every time I let out a breath I had to immediately take one in. I shifted between the two men. Gareth patted Oliver on his back, "No, let Clark do it this time. He needs hands-on experience. Go fix yourself up."

Clark, watching the whole thing paled, "She'll bite off my fingers next!"

"I want her eyes," Oliver growled out as he left, turning a bit pale from the blood loss that was pouring out of his hand. I felt my eyes bulge out at that, looking over at a nervous Clark and calm Gareth.

"Oliver always dealt with the kids. I don't even-" Clark shook his head but Gareth raised a hand, silently telling him to calm down. 

"Kids are a bit easier. Bones are kinda rubbery but one or two swings of the cleaver or a machete to the neck, you're good to go." Gareth shrugged.

I whimpered, looking over at the men at the trough, seeing a mix of horrified and furious glares. Merle growled out loudly, "So help me if you even touch Bambi-"

Gareth laughed and looked over at Merle. "You're tied up. You can't help your little Bambi if you wanted to," he mocked Merle, faking a pout.

"I'll shoot ya right between yer eyes, ya hear me!" Daryl shouted through the gag, one of the men in aprons pushing him down as Daryl struggled to get up.

"You don't have to do this!" Bob pleaded again. "We can get a cure and you wouldn't have to-"

Gareth ignored both of them and focused on Rick. "We saw you go into the woods with a bag and come out without it. Had to pull my spotters back before we could go look for it. What was in it?"

Rick stayed silent and I went to reach for the small knife hidden in my boot, trying not to make it too obvious while everyone's attention was on Rick. Gareth went on, "You hid it, right? In case things went bad? Smart."

I pulled the knife out, twisting it in my hands to start cutting at whatever they tied our hands with. Gareth chuckled, shifting his weight, "Still, we'll find it. But it's too dangerous to go out there right now. What was in it? I'm curious. And it was a big bag." 

Gareth turned to Clark, pointing at me and I stopped, slipping the knife up my sleeve. "Take her to the station, what are you waiting for? Wrap up her mouth if you're scared she'll bite." He looked at me before turning to an enraged Merle with a grin. "Never had the chance to take a bite out of Bambi and family before things went downhill. It'll be a nice treat to do so now."

Clark nervously watched my mouth as he reached for the cotton fabric. Gareth must have seen something on my face before he said something. "I'll shoot your dad and uncle right now if you even think about biting him." 

The warning made me freeze, turning my eyes to Gareth over Clark's shoulder. The cotton was tied over my whole mouth instead of between my lips like before and I looked back at my family at the trough, Daryl and Glenn both shaking their heads, near tears. Bob was horrified and both Rick and Merle were of the same mind. Eyes clearly stating they would tear him apart.

I was lifted by Clark, thrown over his shoulder, and I started to kick. "No!" I screamed the shout heard clear as day.

"If she's too much of a problem, punch the side of her head, it'll keep her dazed long enough," Gareth advised Clark.

I struggled and had my vision spin as Clark turned. I craned my head up watching everyone who was in the room, seeing apathetic gazes with concerned ones before the corner of the wall blocked them from my sight.

My eyes darted around, trying to see where I was going, who else was around, seeing nothing but the hall he was walking down. I slipped the knife from the sleeves and tried again, cutting as hard as I could with what had to be a zip tie. He turned and I noticed hooks on the walls with other limbs in the process of being skinned. Clark grunted as he threw me backwards, back slamming onto the metal table, eyeing all the different knives hanging from the wall. Clark didn't take another look at me as he reached for the machete. 

I screamed at the top of my lungs as he grabbed hold of it, scaring Clark. After the initial scare, he scowled at me and set the machete down. "Shut up!" He raised a fist and I saw stars in the darkness.

I groaned, feeling the side of my head throb horribly but still aware of what was going on. I blinked the dazzling lights out from my vision as I felt him tug down the collar of my shirt. "Shit, how am I supposed to cut through that?"

I felt him pull at the dog tags I wrapped around my neck, trying to figure it out. Seeing him distracted with that, I started cutting with the knife again, looking around me. I groaned at the harsh tug he gave Merle’s dog tags but didn't let up from trying to cut away the ties on my hands, noticing Gareth’s conversation can still be heard.

"Are you really gonna let me do this?" Gareth sighed.

I felt the ties on my hands finally loosening as Clark let out another curse, pulling his hands away from my neck. "Hey, Gareth!" Clark yelled.

"What?" Gareth yelled back annoyed. Clark winced.

"What's the chances I can get a good cut with some metal wrapped around her neck?"

"If you want a clean cut, you take it off. Otherwise, you'll make a mess and waste food. Now, unless it's something important let me get to work! Radio if you need something important." Gareth called back, likely leaving.

"Fine," Clark muttered, hands back on my neck trying to untangle the mess he was making.

As Clark fumbled with Merle’s army identification, I sawed at the ties, finally feeling it give way. As soon as I cut myself free, a huge explosion rattled the building, the metallic knives shaking on the wall, Clark pulled his hands away in shock. "The hell?!" He screamed. 

Not looking at a horse in the mouth, I grabbed the machete and swung it at him with a loud grunt. I flinched at the short spurt that hit my face and I looked to make sure the hit counted. Everyone in Terminus would have no problem killing me and I don't want to die. 

I want to live. 

If I have to kill people who wanted to kill me, I can't just let them. 

I'm not a little pig up for slaughter!

Clark's eyes were bulging at the heavy short sword caught in his neck. I pulled the machete hard, trying to dislodge it from his neck, and it slid easier than I thought it would. Clark held onto his neck, falling down and I hopped off the table, raising the machete one more time, and struck on the opposite side of his neck. A loud gurgle left Clark, blood starting to pour out of his mouth as well, eyes focused on me as he fell back. 

I looked at him for a moment, wondering if that was how I would have looked. Would I be aware of it with the hit to the head he gave me? Or did he do it wrong? Would I be looking up at him with the same pleading eyes as he coldly looked down at me? 

I knelt down, patting him down, looking for a gun, ignoring the noises he was making. Feeling it hidden in his waistband, I grabbed his pants leg and shirt, putting all my strength into turning him around so I could reach for the gun. Biting my lip to hold in the grunt of pushing a fully grown man to flip over, I let out a breath of air when I did so, pulling on the gun and checking the rounds. I clipped the nearly full magazine back and grabbed the machete with one hand before stuffing the small blade back into my boot. 

Gunfire was sounding off everywhere outside from the people of Terminus, aggravating the pounding in my head, but I sucked it up. Whatever caused that loud explosion attracted the nearby walkers and that might be our best bet to get out while they are distracted. Not wanting to waste any more time, I carefully peeked around the corner to see if there was anyone else coming down the hall. Seeing no one, I made a quick run down the hall, remembering where the turn to the others was. I slowed when I heard the two men wearing the aprons talking clearly.

“The hell we doing here? The whole place could be going up.“ I heard the panic in the voice of the man that was slitting throats. He seemed to be the more nervous one of the two. Best bet is to shoot the one with the bat first and then deal with the one with the knife.

The other man sighed, “You went on one roundup and you blew protocol. We don't deal with security. That ain't our job. This is.” I heard one of the men walk off. “Hey, look at me.”

“What?”

I turned the corner raising the gun as Rick jumped up and stabbed the man with the bat in the neck with what looked like my sharpened piece of wood. With one man down, Rick quickly rushed the more hysterical man and stabbed him in the neck twice, both falling over the table with the body they were sawing up before.

“Rick!” Glenn’s muffled shout had him running over to the men, knife in hand cutting off the ties holding them down.

“Go get Cielo!” Daryl shouted at Rick as he freed Glenn. Rick looked over at the hunter but before he could say a word, I did.

“I’m okay.”

All heads snapped at me and it was as if they had a large weight taken off them from the way their shoulders slumped. I rushed over and helped Rick untie the others, ignoring the pounding of my head as the shouts and rapid gunfire got louder with the growls that clearly belonged to the walkers. When Daryl got loose, he grabbed onto my shoulders, checking me over for any cuts or marks. “Ya okay?”

“My head hurts,” I honestly told him. “Not sure if he hit me wrong but all the loud noises don't help.” I rubbed the side that got hit and he tilted my head, running the tips of his fingers over the area. I felt someone tug at the machete in my hand and I let them have it, feeling comfortable having the gun in the meantime. I hissed in pain when his fingers must have found the spot hidden in my hair. A low whine escaped me and I pulled my head away so he would stop poking at it. “Hurts.”

His eyes were cold as ice, “Left ya a nice bump there. Is he-?”

“I dealt with it.”

Daryl frowned but didn’t say a word. He clearly wasn’t happy that I had to be the one to kill someone but this day was probably overdue. Carl already killed someone a year ago. I already killed one before Clark, even if it wasn’t my intention to do so. He stood up and looked around at the room, seeing the others grab at the knives that were placed on the table nearby. I felt being pulled roughly to the side and I whined at the harsh treatment, eyes connecting that with Merle’s worried gaze. Daryl filled him in, “Got a bump on the head but other than that she’s fine.”

“Don't.” Rick’s voice echoed and three of us turned to see Glenn went to stab the head from one of the apron men. “Let him turn. Cross any of these people, you kill them. Don't hesitate.”

“They won't,” I told them, looking blankly at the man that was slitting throats earlier. He would have slit theirs sooner if Gareth hadn’t come in here. I looked up to see Glenn and Bob both sadly look at me and I stowed away the stolen gun into my waistband, reaching for a knife of my own. 

“Hey,” Rick softly called out to me and I looked up. “What happened here, you shouldn’t have had to see that. Any of it.” His eyes softened from the dark look he had on earlier.

“But I did,” I sighed. I lifted my back leg and tapped the boot, “Thanks for the present.”

He nodded, jaw clenching under that peppered beard of his before turning to the others. “Let’s go, keep tight.” He looked back at me. “Stick to us like glue, stay in the middle.”

“Got it,” I nodded and immediately regretted it, wincing at the throb in my head. We all filed out of the room cautiously and took in the mayhem that was going on outside. My eyes took in the sight of walker after walker, no end in sight. Reminding me of that night at the farm where hundreds came down on us. I gripped tightly onto my knife and followed the others outside, Merle right behind me. 

As we turned the corner, one of the people from Terminus ran straight into Rick, caught off guard. Rick, who was expecting a confrontation, either way, stabbed the man in the neck without any hesitation. As he bent down to take the rifle, Bob picked up a pole from the ground, seeing the opportunity of a weapon, and tossed it over to Daryl. I wondered why he didn’t keep it but saw that he was the one with the machete. We continued on, passing one of the train carts where there was someone wildly screaming and yelling from within.

We all stopped, using the train cart as cover to regroup and plan our next move. I closed my eyes and rubbed my head, the pounding sensation getting worse with the combination of movement and noise. “We got to let those people out. That's still who we are.” Glenn pleaded, likely with Rick. I opened my eyes to see him imploring Rick. “It's got to be.” 

A man from the inside of the train cart kept yelling. “Help me!”

I grasped onto the closest arm and leaned my head against it, trying my best to drown out the man’s yells. The grating sound of the train cart being opened screeched in my ears. I turned to look at who was getting out and it was just one man, heavily bearded and hair as long as mine. He was laughing hysterically and Rick motioned him to start moving. There was more shouting in the distance over the growling snarls of the walkers that seemed to have been getting louder.

“Come on, come on, come on.” Rick kept motioning the man to move but he moved up and grasped Rick’s arms.

“We're the same! We're them!” The unhinged man shouted at Rick with glee.

“Back off!” Rick shouted, pushing him away harshly. The mentally disturbed man just kept laughing, looking at all of us, holding out his arms to prove his point. 

“We're the same.” He laughed and I noticed the walker sneaking up on the man. Before he even had a chance, the walker grabbed onto him and bit down, tearing away at the flesh on the deranged man’s shoulder. His screams of pain alerted more walkers towards us and we all started following Rick who waved us to follow him. As we ran off, walkers were closing in on us at all sides and I did my best to focus on what was going around me, doing my best to push past the pounding of the headache.

Daryl swung out with the pole in his hands, cracking open the skull of a deteriorating female walker that went to reach out for him. Merle knocked one down and stomped hard on its head, cracking it open like a watermelon. Moving my head to watch either one of them had me nearly throw up. I went to take a step and lost my balance over the walker Merle killed. “Easy, up we go.” Merle pulled me up, wincing as he took in my dazed look. I blinked a bit, forcing myself to focus and I felt being lifted, seeing worrying faces look back at me.

“Turn this way,” Merle ordered, his voice closer to my ear, “she’s gonna need a minute.” No one argued as Merle found a spot for us to take cover from both walkers and Terminus residents. He adjusted his hold on me once more, his only hand wrapping around my waist to make sure I wouldn’t fall. I moaned at the sudden movement, closing my eyes momentarily. When I opened them, Bob was staring closely at me.

“She must have gotten hit harder than we thought,” Bob mused, turning my head towards him. “Pupils look alright. Feel like you’re gonna throw up?”

“When I moved my head really fast I did,” I answered honestly. “All this noise hurts.”

Bob frowned, “She’s definitely concussed. Bit worse off than I was if she lost her balance.” I heard Merle growl deep in his throat, beyond unhappy and likely a stare to match it on his face if Bob’s reaction was to go by. I leaned my head onto Merle’s shoulder, trying to make the pounding in my head to be happy.

“We can’t stay here,” Rick sounded aggravated and I knew it wasn’t at me. He wasn’t that cruel. “Think you can keep a hold on her and move between walkers and the people?”

“I got his back,” Daryl answered Rick at the same time Merle replied, “Can do.”

“Let’s go.” He ordered, leaving whatever safe space Merle dragged them into. As Merle moved after Rick and the others, I noticed the sounds got louder again, meaning we had to have hidden in a room seconds before. There was a loud grunt as the cracking of a skull echoed directly after it but I didn’t dare move my head. Merle moving around and my head almost bouncing on his shoulder was bad enough.

“We got to double back.” Glenn sounded strained. It was a mix of emotions I couldn’t place.

“A is that way. We go back, we don't know where we are.” Rick informed Glenn as he shot rounds. I moved to cover my other ear with my hand, hearing the whooshing sound of my heartbeat louder in my ears. It helped reduce some of the pain my head was feeling.

“We don't really have a choice, do we?” Rick's muffled voice was still heard before more shots were fired from his gun. “Wait here.” 

“Rick. Rick!” Glenn shouted but he grunted immediately afterward, likely taking out a walker that got too close.

“Back to back, now!” Daryl shouted and I felt Merle move, feeling his left arm strikeout, likely stabbing a walker’s head that was in reach. I lifted my head and took everything in, seeing a decent group of walkers has found us but with everyone being back to back with one another, they were taking down the walkers with ease. 

“You can put me down,” I patted Merle’s right shoulder, not daring to move too much in case I threw him off his momentum. 

“Ya fine where ya are,” he chided lightly. I would have pouted if it weren’t for the sudden jerky movement he did. I felt what little was left in my stomach burn halfway to my throat before I suppressed it. The raw feeling I had in my esophagus had me lean my head back into Merle’s shoulder with a groan.

“Let’s go to the fences, move, move, move!” Rick was back faster than I had realized, or maybe time had slowed down for me? 

I wasn’t sure.

I just know that the formation the four men had made quickly broke off as Merle took off, full speed. I bit the insides of my cheek feeling worse by the second. My head felt like it was going to split open and my stomach felt like it was going to turn inside out. I clutched tightly onto Merle, my nails having to dig into his skin, but he didn’t utter a single sound. 

I heard the rifle that Rick had fired off for a good minute. “Up and over!” Rosita cried out in the distance. Merle bounded over and I felt him pat my back with the handle of the knife he had been using. A sharp whistle left Merle’s lips and I moaned at how that whistle rang painfully in my ear. “Alright, Bambi, I’m passing you off to Glenn.”

I felt the shift of hands, one pulling me over what I knew the rattling noise to be the sound of a fence. Everything spun and as soon as my feet were on the ground, I just moved, no specific direction, and spilled everything that I held back from spilling earlier. I felt my entire body falling face forward and I reached out to stop my fall, internally wincing at the feel of slime I knew came from my stomach. 

“Oh, my God, is she okay?” Maggie asked as she rubbed my back. The snarls of walkers sounded frustrated as the rattling of the fence next to us was anything to go by. I looked up and saw everyone made the other side of the fence. I stood upright and wobbled over to the closest tree, Maggie assisting me every step of the way, and wiped my dirty hand on the tree bark. 

“She got clocked on the head real good.” Merle was the one to answer her. 

“Why is she covered in blood?” Sasha was horrified.

“We’ll explain on the way,” Rick declared without another word, walking fast-paced into the woods.

I blinked up at the sudden shadow from the rays of sun I was just getting. Looking up, I saw Merle was standing next to Maggie wordlessly and he knelt down, waving me over. Groaning, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he picked me up again, “Go slow,” I begged. 

Merle said nothing but did just that, no sudden turns and bouncing over the terrain to aggravate my head. All I heard was the crunching of leaves as we walked through the woods. 

“Right here,” I heard Daryl inform Rick and we all stopped. I lifted my head seeing Rick digging with a short shovel that Daryl had just tossed him.

Abraham surveyed the woods, looking for any other walker or resident of Terminus to appear. “The hell are we still around here for?” He gruffly asked, standing close to Eugene to protect him from any hidden enemies.

Rick answered him, not stopping his task, “Guns, some supplies. Go along the fences. Use the rifles. Take out the rest of 'em.”

“What?” Glenn wasn’t sure if he heard the man right but he did. 

I agree with Rick. 

Head pounding, spinning, and all.

“They don't get to live.” Rick stopped what he was doing momentarily, panting at the exertion, firm about his decision.

“Rick, we got out.” Glenn disagreed, “It's over.”

Rick remained calm and pulled out a gun from the bag he buried. “It's not over till they're all dead.” 

“The hell it isn't,” Rosita exclaimed with a scoff. “That place is on fire. Full of walkers.” 

Abraham growled, shaking his head, “I'm not dicking around with this crap.”

“We just made it out. The fences are down. They'll run or die.” Maggie was exhausted, mentally, and physically.

“Well, I for one agree with Officer Friendly here. Take out the fuckers before they come after us.” Merle drawled, glaring at everyone. “They went down a line slitting our throats and some punk-ass bitch tried to chop off Bambi’s head, waiting to fry us up for dinner.” Merle narrowed his eyes on Glenn. “Or did your ass already forget that?”

Glenn looked ashamed as Merle berated him and the others who were in the train car blanched at the news. Michonne looked between the two men. “Are you saying that they were going to cook  _ us  _ for dinner?”

“Great, we walked right into Hannibal Lector’s lair.” Sasha rubbed her face, stress starting to get to her. It was silent for a moment, everyone absorbing what Merle had told them, unsure of what to do or say. I kept quiet and reached up with my sleeve, wiping off any blood that was on my face, breathing through my nose to prevent another puking incident.

I felt Merle tense up and I wasn’t sure what could have made him anxious till I realized there was a twig snap that wasn’t normal. I didn’t need to look around because I saw Daryl bolting from the tree he was starting to lean on, running towards something. It immediately became someone as two arms wrapped around Daryl’s waist. A small gasp left me as I knew there was only one person who could get that reaction from Daryl.

“Carol,” I whispered, scared that if I called out any louder, this happy reunion would be ruined by a herd of walkers that managed to get out of Terminus. Rick and Maggie were the next two people to start walking up to the small woman Daryl was hiding. She was holding on to various items that clearly weighed her down but didn’t move to take them off just yet. Rick seemed to scrutinize the woman in front of him.

“Did you do that?” He asked her.

Carol bit both of her lips, her eyes roving over the rest of us behind Rick before giving him a small nod. Carol let out a short laugh as Rick wrapped his arms around her, almost as if she wasn’t expecting it. When they both pulled back, Carol sniffed, holding back her tears, saying something so quiet that I couldn’t hear it from where we stood. Rick looked over his shoulder and waved us all over. We all started to walk forward but Glenn stooped down and grabbed the bag of weapons that were buried.

As we neared Carol, she handed Daryl his crossbow as she reached for another item that I recognized to be my bow. I grinned widely at her, fighting the pounding in my head as I felt relief at seeing my bow again, suddenly realizing I was scared the world would be cruel enough to take away another bow of mine. It felt right to have my bow in hand, nearly missing that she was not only handing over my quiver full of arrows but my backpack as well.

“I see someone’s handwriting improved since I last saw her,” Carol cracked a joke and I giggled, immediately regretting it. I wasn’t sure who but someone was kind enough to grab the other two items Carol was returning to me as my free hand was now clutching my head.

“That was a bad idea,” I moaned. 

"Y'all be alright. Heads gonna hurt for a bit, that's all." Merle assured me quietly, careful to not speak so loud in my ear. I sighed and tucked my head under his chin, silently hoping he was right. Bob seemed to do okay after two days but he also said mine was worse than his was, which I found hard to believe but who am I to argue with a trained medic?

"Lead the way," Rick spoke to who I believed to be Carol. He had a plan of his own until she appeared. 

"This way." Carol's voice was still thick with emotions but you could hear the underlining excitement. 

I kept still, tracing the bite marks I had left on Merle’s arm, what felt like hundreds of years ago as Merle and the others followed her. I listened to the sounds of leaves crunching underneath each footstep, breathing in the fresh air the autumn breeze gave us, a lot different than the musty train cart. Somewhere between enjoying the fresh air and the relief of being safe, I closed my eyes until I felt rough skin running their knuckles over my cheek. "Hey, don't go sleeping on us."

I blinked my eyes open to see Daryl’s concerned face. I smiled softly and let out a sigh against Merle’s chest, "I'm not sleeping, I promise."

"Keep them eyes open, ya hear?" Merle ordered gruffly.

"Everything is too bright," I whined as a pocket of sunlight through the dense trees hit my eyes, squinting.

"Depending where Carol takes us we can take a break, find you some sunglasses," Daryl promised.

"Deal," I sighed, doing my best to ignore the anvil striking against my skull.

I winced as we left the cover of the trees to walk alongside a road. This is so much worse than being in the woods. I grabbed Merle’s flannel shirt and lifted it, hiding my face in the fabric, nose wrinkling at the smell coming off it. I said nothing of it because I knew I wasn't much better after not washing up in a week.

"How's essence du Merle?" He teased, knowing full well he reeked.

"Needs work. Smells like a skunk." I snipped at him.

He let out a chortle, "Reckon a skunk smells better than me at the moment."

"Wouldn't know and I'd like it to stay that way," I told him, keeping my eyes hidden under the flannel. It was silent for some time and I felt the difference of us walking up a hill, the silence of asphalt road starting to grind as if we were going up a dirt road. 

"For a tiny thing ya sure are heavy," Merle grunted as he went uphill. 

"Calling me fat, Merle?" I teased him, no bite to my words. I heard a few laughs at my response. 

"Ya can't be that bad if ya can take time to sass me, girl." Merle huffed with exertion. 

"Being sassy comes easy to me," I jibed at him.

"Bossy, too," Bob added, deciding to join in. "She always tell you how things had to be done?"

"You should have seen her when we first moved in the cellblock." Glenn panted, deciding to be a part of this conversation himself. "Went around how it was dirty, needed to be scrubbed, slept in her sleeping bag on top of the actual bed until we found clean sheets."

"Had us do the same till she let us be." Rick laughed, hearing what was going on behind him.

"Infectious diseases, people!" I defended myself.

"Pretty sure sleeping in a bed is safe," Glenn muttered.

"In a normal house maybe." I huffed, blowing a small tent under Merle’s shirt that deflated. He chuckled at how worked up I was getting. 

"She isn't wrong on that account." I heard Bob’s smile on his face. I felt vindicated once more.

"Now how in God's creation does a kid know that?" Abraham chimed in.

"Her mama was a nurse," Daryl explained to the man. 

"We told you she's smarter than she looks," Glenn warned once more.

Merle snorted, "Ain't that the damn truth."

"But you love me," I chanced the bright light to look up at Merle, grinning even with a thundering head. His eyes blinked a bit rapidly before he pushed the back of my head into his shoulder again. 

Merle cleared his throat, "Didn't ya say the light was hurting ya eyes."

I looked up to see Daryl was smirking behind Merle. Daryl saw that my eyes were sparkling with glee over at him and winked at me. I think the only two people who even understood Merle was just me and Daryl. Likely because Merle taught me a lot of things in the last few months and I saw how he interacted with Daryl in this weird Dixon speak. 

There was also a time I’m sure he said he loved me too but I was going under so fast that I could have dreamt it.

The hill we walked on seemed to be coming to an end and I heard a door close behind me. Confused, I pulled away and braved the harsh light of the sun to see Tyreese standing by a cottage door, a tinier Grimes in hand. Rick dropped the bag Glenn must have handed over because both he and Carl made a run for it. Sasha wasn't that far behind seeing Tyreese standing there.

As we got close enough, I heard and saw Rick breaking down into tears, kissing the small head of the confused baby. Carl reached out, running a soft hand over the back of her head, his voice cracking with unshed tears. "Judith. You're okay." 

Judith may not understand exactly what was going on but she felt things weren't right and started to cry. Rick laughed, pressing his head at the top of her head before turning to Tyreese, who just got out of a hug from Sasha, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. Tyreese did the same, both men silently communicating their thanks before turning back to their family. 

Carol's head turned to look at her surroundings, seeming to be surprised about the amount of walkers that were outside. "What happened?" She asked Tyreese.

"There were a bunch of walkers out here and he got his hands around Judith's neck." He stopped Carol from going in. "No, he's dead. I-- I had to."

He? 

Who was he and how did someone manage to get their hands around Judith's neck?!

My eyes darted over to the unhappy baby in Rick's arms and wondered if that was why she was upset. I frowned, fingers reaching to the back of Merle’s shirt, and tugged at the tag I had found. If one thing is certain, I wouldn't let anyone hurt Judith or any member of my family if I could help it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Times Merle was saved in the last 46 chapters: 3  
> Yes, I could have killed him off twice in this chapter and I DID write a chapter where he got bit here and went back to shoot along the fence, going out with a bang...
> 
> But I wrote the whole skunk-scene first and I loved how that turned out so...Merle lived because I wrote the fluffy Merle first...


	47. Language!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is Monday's chapter!  
> I'm getting a bit giddy on how my little character is getting to Alexandria. I might tweak it beforehand till I'm happier with it but it has been done!
> 
> Thank you for Kudos and Comments! I'm surprised that one -or maybe more- of you reread all the chapters. I'm hoping that the transition of how much she's grown from the 1st Chapter to now was seamless.

We camped for the night further away from the cottage. While I wished we did stay in a place with four walls, I understood the reasoning behind it. On the off chance any of them survived, we were too close for comfort, so it was best to move on. We've been walking for so long that Merle constantly shifted me from arm to arm. Abraham offered to carry me at one point but Merle brushed him off in his brash manner, I was surprised Abraham wasn't offended. I sheepishly smiled at the redhead who merely nodded back to me, understanding. 

Safe where I was, I leaned my head on Merle’s knee, sitting on the ground in front of him. Daryl and Glenn went to secure our spot in the woods and Abraham went along to ensure nothing was out of order. Eugene stuck close to Rosita a bit further away from the rest of us but close enough if he wanted to run to safety. Merle eyed the two newcomers with a scowl. Smiling, I patted his knee, "Be nice. Abraham and Rosita just care about making sure Eugene gets to DC."

"Pft, good cause I ain’t babysitting some guy with a mullet."

"Mullet Head is another Milton. Just less backbone and something about having classified information on how to reverse this stuff." I gently patted the knee I was resting on with my eyes closed, assuring Merle he was nothing to worry about.  


"That right?" Merle chalked up a laugh. "Hey, Mullet Head!" Merle called out to Eugene. "Ya supposed to have the cure for all them ghoulies." 

I opened my eyes and groaned, not so much because of the pain, but because of Merle needing to antagonize Eugene. At least Abraham wasn't here because that would make things worse. Eugene shrunk in a bit on himself and Rosita stood up, blocking Eugene from Merle’s sight, a heated glare thrown his way. "Merle, please not now," I begged him.

"Well, seeing as we're all tucked in for the night, I don't see why not." He gestured around, looking at the little camp we made in the woods. I looked over to see Rick walking over with Carol, already knowing what was going on. 

"He doesn't have to tell you anything," Rosita growled at him. Merle squinted at her.

"Well, if he expects us to tote his ass around then it's best he does,  _ Señorita _ ." The mocking tone was loud and clear. I grimaced, knowing that he could have said something worse than what he did, but the sentiment was still there. 

Rosita went to walk up to him but a larger man bulldozed to the camp, nostrils flaring at Merle. My eyes widened at the sudden appearance of Abraham. Not good. Not good at all.

Merle caught sight of the other man and quickly stood up, being eye to eye with the man, smugly daring him to swing first. Daryl and Glenn weren’t too far behind but one look at the two men squaring off, they sped up. "Are you insinuating something?" Abraham snarled, the edge of his mustache twitching with each word, vibrating in suppressed anger.

Merle smirked, "Never had a problem saying exactly what I mean."

I rubbed my eyes. Merle was doing so well at not getting into confrontations when we were at the prison too. "Uncle Merle, please, come back." I did my best to sound pitiful but Merle probably saw through it.

Daryl and Glenn immediately pushed both men back, Daryl saying something under his breath to Merle as he kept pushing him back and Glenn to Abraham. While Glenn wasn't exactly a weak man, Abraham's body frame was two times larger than Glenn's and the only other people to match it were Tyreese and Merle. Abraham towered over Glenn with a furious gaze. "Stay away from them," he warned.

"Ya can have that lily-livered scientist and-"

"Enough!" Rick bellowed at the two men. Judith’s whine was heard after the loud yell and I looked over to see Carl had her back in his arms, quietly whispering in her ear. 

Seeing how I was out in the open without someone behind me, I got up slowly, nervously as I still didn't have my coordination. I looked over to see Carol was standing and as much as I would love to curl up under her arm, I would like to do so sitting down. That left me with Maggie and Sasha but Sasha was the closest. If Merle was going to be a jerk I didn't want anything to do with him right now.

Taking one step forward, I managed to do well and figured whatever was wrong with me earlier had passed. Rick was laying into both men-mostly Merle- as I kept going and I should have left it at the first step. The second one I took had me nearly falling on my face. I groaned at the fall but sat up on my knees, seeing that everyone was now focused on me with worry.

"Cielo?" Daryl ran over to me, kneeling down. "Did you hit your head?"

"No," I sighed, pointing where I was headed. "Just trying to go over there and curl up." I looked at Daryl with a grin. "I'll be okay."

He scowled and gave me a look at how he felt of me saying that I was okay. I reached over and poked the cheek that didn't have a black eye currently healing itself. "I will be. I'm here aren't I?"

Daryl didn't say anything but run a knuckle over my cheek, eyes softening, "Yeah, you're here."

"Let's take a better look at that head." Bob's voice suddenly appeared near my ear and I turned to look over my shoulder, a bit too fast. I ignored the pain but I couldn't ignore the nausea I felt. I raised a hand, blocking Bob's hands from touching my head. The whole time I was pushing his hand away, I was holding in the burning sensation rising to escape my mouth. I spoke when I succeeded in keeping it down.

"You already said-" 

I didn't finish because I was startled by the sudden death grip I was in. My arms were pinned to my chest and I was held tightly to Daryl's chest, the man having the nerve to give Bob the go-ahead with a mere nod of the head. Bob grinned and reached for my head again. I started to squirm but the grip Daryl had me kept me in place. "The bump is at her hairline on the right side," Daryl informed Bob, tightening his hold.

Knowing where to feel, Bob ran his fingers over the bump and I whined at how tender the spot still was. "It hurts, leave it alone!"

"Just trying to see how big the bump is, I'll be done in a bit," Bob informed me and I yelped as he ran over the center, tears building in my eyes, kicking out at Bob. Daryl was faster and clamped down on my legs with one arm, feeling as if I was being constricted by either a python or boa constrictor itself with the hold he had on me, Bob letting out a nervously relieved cough.  


"No, leave it!" I cried, making my headache worse, the painful throb only increased as he pressed along the tender spot. 

Finally, his hand was gone and I turned my face into Daryl’s chest, unhappy with the whole thing, brain feeling as it was being squeezed from my cries. Bob sighed, "Bumps pretty big. Bit bigger than the size of an egg."

"It wasn't that big earlier. Size of a golf ball if that." Daryl’s chest rumbled talking with Bob, concerned, rubbing my back as I rubbed my forehead into his chest as if it would get rid of the pain.

"Well, the bump likely grew as time passed." Bob sighed. "But the good news is she isn't slurring her words. Good reaction time. Pupils same size. If they weren’t…" Bob drifted off from there, silently insinuating it would have been bad, but picked up wind. "So long as her headaches don't get worse and nausea goes away, she'll be fine."

I calmed down as Daryl kept rubbing my back listening to Bob's explanation. "If you stop poking at my head, I'll be fine," I growled out. Both men laughed at my remark, Daryl shaking with his.

"Yeah, our little Bambi is fine." Daryl was relieved. 

The others heard the conversation and I sighed, settling in Daryl’s arms, hoping he wasn't planning on moving anytime soon. Daryl seemed to catch on that he was my pillow for the rest of the night because he scooted both of us against a log that was knocked over. I sighed contently and closed my eyes, tired from the long day when Bob poked my leg. "No sleep, tonight."

My eyes snapped open and I turned to look at Bob with narrowed eyes. I didn’t have the chance to say anything because Bob beat me to it with a wide smile. "I didn't sleep for mine, remember how you said it worked out when keeping watch?"

"Damn Karma," I mumbled under my breath but Daryl heard all the same.

"Language."

"That's alright," Rick spared one more tense glance over at the two men that nearly got into a fight. "Whoever will be on watch can help keep her up."

"I'll go first," Abraham gave one final look at Merle before walking over to where Rosita and Eugene were. Merle scoffed and rolled his eyes but sat by the both of us. I frowned at Merle, not saying anything, but he felt my gaze burning into the side of his face all the same.

"What?" 

I ignored the aggressive tone he had, knowing it was because he didn't get to pummel Abraham like he wanted to, and sighed looking away, "You were doing good too." I started reaching under my shirt trying to see just how bad Clark tangled everything up. 

"Hell ya mean 'doing good'?" 

"Lay off her," Daryl warned Merle but I answered truthfully, looking up at the icy blues of Merle.

"I was happy when you didn't get into fights with other people back home. You weren't arguing and picking on everyone. Everyone started being nicer to you and that's all I want. For people to treat you with respect." I looked away from Merle and slipped off his tags from my neck. "Here. You can have it back now."

I kept the necklace dangling out without looking at him and let go once I felt the tug on them. It was quiet between the three of us after that. What more was there to say?

* * *

Watching the sun come up after watching it go down was pretty through the burnt orange leaves. I likely would have appreciated it more if I didn't have to be awake for the entire thing with an angry head. Staying up with Abraham was interesting, that's for sure. If things weren't the way they were I would have bet my entire stash of chocolate that him and Merle would be the best of friends. 

Man's idea of fun was to watch people pummel each other for sport: Boxing, football, mixed martial arts, and wrestling. If it wasn’t that, then heading down the gun range trying out all newly inventoried guns on hand. Not to say he didn't enjoy sports, like baseball, but the ones he immensely enjoyed all had something to do with someone getting hurt.

I also learned various fun facts about players like Babe Ruth and John Elway which I knew I would forget in time.

The second person to be on watch was Tyreese.

Ironically, Tyreese was a former football player. When I asked if he knew who John Elway was, the man acted as if I knew everything about football, eyes lighting brightly about the times he had with his team. Seeing how happy he was talking about his old team I didn’t want to ruin it by telling him I knew squat. The only football I knew wasn’t American football. Abuelo supported two teams and every summer I was wearing the team's jersey cheering with him. 

He went on and on about certain maneuvers he did out on the field. Says what he knew on defense helped him deal with the walkers all this time. When Tyreese asked me who my favorite team was I had to pretend to be offended and say I was a proud born and raised girl from Georgia, so there was only one team I would support. 

This is how I learned we had the Atlanta Falcons.

Third person on watch was Daryl. We briefly talked about what I was up to the last few weeks since escaping the attack. How Bob originally annoyed me with almost everything he did, which he found funny. Apparently, I was like Merle and didn't like new people, to which I countered that I liked Rosita just fine. He just gave me a sideways grin and asked about the other three to which I had no reply. 

Instead, I told him how Maggie needed to find Glenn, leaving him messages as we went, up til the tunnel we had imploded on itself to stop the walkers. That’s when I informed him about Tara being with Glenn when we found him and exactly where she came from. He frowned at the knowledge that Tara was a part of the attack but said nothing, which surprised me. I was expecting a bigger reaction from Daryl.

Or maybe I got used to Merle’s explosive reactions. 

The fourth person was Rick, who chose to be the one awake closer to when the sun rose. Seeing as the whole night had gone off without a hitch, I rested my entire back against Rick's chest, crossing my arms and feeling drained. Rick didn't say much of it but let me do so, brushing loose strands of hair with his fingers unconsciously, eyes scanning the woods. Daryl took more of a nap when Rick took over before taking off to see if he could catch anything for the morning. If he thought it was weird of me resting against Rick, he said nothing. He just took Merle and both men were gone with a wave of a hand.

"How well do you know those three?" Rick asked quietly, not wanting others to wake up. I didn’t need him to expand on the three but I was curious how it wasn’t four.

"Don't you mean four?" I looked up at the salt and peppered beard of his, amazed at how many greys took over since last winter.

"I know where we stand with Tara," Rick answered my question without too many words. My narrowed eyes coasted over to the sleeping woman.

Does he now?

"She's part of the reason we lost-" I started, angry he was just accepting her.

"Tara didn't want to be there. She was there because the Governor told her. Nothing more," Rick stressed. 

I huffed at the answer but left it be for now. My head wouldn't be up to argue much of a case against Tara. I crossed my legs, going back to Rick's original question. "Don't know them as good as Glenn but I can say they're okay people. Abraham is all gung ho about getting to DC for Eugene from Houston. He's probably going to ask us to go with him. Army like Merle but he's more intense about it. A sergeant. Almost like he never left. Or maybe it’s ‘cause he lost the wife and kids he is like that? Didn’t ask. "

I saw Rick's head nod above me, taking in the information. "Rosita is kinda tricky. Abraham found her in Dallas with some others. Says I remind her of her when she was little," Rick snorted and I reached up to poke under his chin at the silent jab. He jerked his head away, hooking his finger around my smaller one, serene smile in place. I let him hold onto my little finger, happy to see he had a break in that somber mood, finishing up my previous thoughts. "Rosita's the one to smooth out Abraham's rough edges with Eugene. More sensitive." I tiredly sighed, desperately wanting to go to sleep. 

"Kinda like you with Merle, huh?" I heard the teasing tone in that question. I peeked up to see him spare me a grin as he let go of my finger. I grumbled an agreement. Guess I kinda was like Rosita.

I reached for a curl and twirled it between my fingers. "Then Eugene is some big scientist who says he knows how to fix it. Classified information as you saw earlier today….yesterday?" I scrunched my nose in confusion and Rick chuckled. Giving up trying to figure out the correct term, I went on, "Big scaredy-cat who can't even shoot a gun or use a knife. Completely dependent on Abraham and Rosita to keep him safe. Lots of big fancy words that I think he says on purpose to confuse people." I hummed as Rick listened to what I said, thinking if I missed something. "Think that sums it all up."

"That's more than enough. Thank you, Cielo." 

I tiredly grinned up at him, "No problem."

We stayed there a bit longer till others started to wake up. The first two to wake up were Carol and Michonne. Both women always were early risers as far as my memory goes. When they got their bearings, Rick motioned for Michonne to grab me and when she did, every bone in the man's spine cracked as he stood. 

That didn't sound good.

Michonne and I chatted softly about nothing important while the others were asleep. It was mainly about how the last few weeks went for both of us, her fingers unconsciously weaving themselves into my hair, making a very loose braid to not aggravate my headache. I basked in the attention from her as her braiding my hair became a rarity as she was gone for months on end chasing a man who came back for us, as predicted. I knew the Governor was dangerous after the first attack on the prison but I was naive to think he would stay away forever.

Michonne was of the right mind to keep hunting him down, but it wasn't enough.

He came back and destroyed it all...

Once the others slowly woke, Michonne placed me nearby Carl, who was still possessive of holding onto his baby sister. Not that I blamed him. After weeks of not running into the others, that small voice in the back of my head was telling me no one else survived. He likely thought she was dead.

Carol tended to our little embers of a fireplace, likely to start breakfast from whatever was in her or Tyreese’s bag. I scanned for mine, seeing it not far from theirs. "Check mine, I had cans in there if they didn't take it out." 

Luckily there still were cans of tuna and green beans with Judith's purees, which after this long might have gone bad, not sure how long canning homemade food would last. 

By the time Carol was starting to put everything back -to my standards- everyone was awake. Carol handed me my bag once she was done with it and I reached for the front pocket, wondering if they took my hidden stash. 

Carl turned his head to me at my growl, "What's wrong?"

"Assholes took my chocolate!" I quietly hissed at him. Judith let out a little grumble of discontent and Carl just rolled his eyes with a smirk. 

At least someone felt my pain...

"Did you say 'assholes'?" Maggie’s shocked voice asked behind me.

Tensing up, I put on a confused look to my face, as natural as it could be. "No, I didn't." I lifted the bag, keeping up the act, mind whirling with words that would work. I was too groggy from not getting sleep but managed something to come to mind all the same. "I said 'is that a hole' don't know where you got 'assholes' from."

A quick cursory glance showed the closest person to us was Eugene. Glenn was folding a blanket Carol gave him and Maggie to keep warm overnight as neither had thick shirts. Rosita was not too far off from Eugene talking to Tara.

"You just said it," Carl snorted, adjusting Judith.

"Well, I was quoting Maggie. That doesn't count." I huffed, hugging the backpack to me.

"Know what," Maggie shook her head and walked towards the short-haired woman we all missed, "don’t wanna know." She rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hands with frustration.

As she left, I smirked over at Carl and he laughed into Judith's shoulder. She let out a happy gurgle as the laugh tickled her shoulder, trying to reach over and grab at Carl. I reached for the chubby hand to help the teen from his hair being yanked on and blew a raspberry on the back of it, setting her off into a high pitched laugh.

Her brown eyes turned to me with the tiniest teeth sticking out of them. I smiled softly at the discovery. Running my thumb over the soft knuckles on her hand, I was amazed at the littlest things that can change when we aren't around to see them.

I suppose with time lots of things change... 

People too.

I'm definitely not the same little girl found at the farm...

I felt the tremble of my cheeks give way to a yawn, mouth wide and by the time I stopped both Carl and Judith started theirs. Giggling, I leaned my head onto Carl's shoulder with droopy eyes, making silly faces at Judith, fighting the urge to sleep. She laughed, eyes sparkling with so much delight that I saw Carl join in from the corner of my eye.

The snap of a twig had everyone on alert, turning the guns Rick handed out towards the direction the sound came from. The fear of anyone from Terminus surviving came to mind first, heart pounding and the need of sleep forgotten, desperately wanting Daryl and Merle. If Gareth lived, I don't want to be separated from either Dixon. I don't want to be separated from  _ any _ of my family.

I just got them back.

I don't want to lose them again!

Focusing on where the sound came from, my heart momentarily froze before it started beating again at identical blue eyes nervously scanning the group momentarily. I let out a deep breath as Merle and Daryl stopped at the raised weapons with Daryl raising an arm showcasing a squirrel he caught, sarcastically joking, "We surrender."

Merle snorted as we all sighed with relief, a few squirrels dangling over his shoulder as well, striding past Daryl and towards the camp.

Looked like breakfast was served. 

Merle dropped the ones he held to Carol and Daryl walked over to Rick, hushed whispers. My eyes focused on the two suspiciously. Why would Daryl talk to Rick on the down-low if it wasn’t something serious? Every time something big is going to happen Rick was in on it. Even when he didn't want to be part of the major decisions. 

"How ya doing, Bambi?" Merle grunted as he sat next to me, scrutinizing me.

I put down my bag and spared him a glance, still not happy with him. "Sleep sounds good right now."

He didn't say anything other than pick at the dirt under his nails, eyes downcast. I sighed loudly at the reaction he gave. "Just don't give them a dumb reason to hate you, that's all I want." I reached over and tapped his hand. "Let's see if I can walk straight."

Wordlessly, Merle grabbed my smaller hand in his and helped me stand up. Gripping his hand tighter, I started taking the first two steps to see if I could but nearly fell onto Merle after the fourth step. "Least ya caught yerself," Merle grumbled. 

"Maybe you and Judith can learn together." Carl teased from his spot.

I glowed at Carl, "Shut yer damn pie hole, Grimes."

He blinked in shock and I felt pleased with shocking the teenager to silence. I went to take another step when Carl said, "You sounded just like Merle, it was so weird."

I felt my cheeks warm up, recounting my words, "Shut up, Carl."

His eyes gleamed with a mischievous look I've grown to know very well. "You just got Merle and Daryl back and you suddenly talk  _ exactly  _ like them."

" _ You're  _ being an ass yourself, Griiii-" I slowed down and slowly turned to stare up at Merle, blinking owlishly. Merle said nothing but raised a single brow, silently reprimanding me with a look, even if his eyes said otherwise. Carl broke out into a laugh and tossed his head back.

Carol was the one to walk over to us, uncooked squirrels in hand, "What's so funny?"

Carl smirked at me, "Cielo is sounding like Merle."

An unamused look was shot at me and I turned the blank look over at Carol. Her eyes snapped up to the man helping me regain my footing. "Just don't have her cursing up a storm."

"Too late," Carl's smirk only widened as my eyes narrowed over at him.

"Too late for what?" Rosita asked with arms crossed as she glared over at Merle briefly before acting as if he wasn't there.

"She already said ‘asshole’ and just called me an ‘ass’." He leaned on Judith’s tiny shoulder.

"Ya did, huh?"

I turned to look back at Merle. "Did not! Maggie thought I did and I was asking myself if that was a hole in my bag. He's just trying to get me in trouble!" I glared over at him, "Sigue asi y no vas a tener lealtad conmigo y lo vas a repentir, Carlitos!"

Rosita laughed and that caught everyone's attention as she hadn’t exactly mixed in with the group just yet. Something as simple as a laugh was strange coming from her. Rosita smirked over at Carl, "You're in trouble now."

I froze, looking over at Rosita wondering if she'll say anything. 

Someone else can understand me now...

This no sleep thing is  _ not _ good for thinking things through...

Carl narrowed his eyes at me. "What she say?"

"Rosita no te va a dicer nada por que no mereces saberlo," I huffed, letting go of Merle and crossing my arms, hoping it was true and Rosita would do me the favor and be quiet over what I said. Rick and Daryl were already sauntering their way up to both of us as everyone looked on. Neither one looked upset or annoyed so that worked in my favor. I want to say they were amused from the look in their eyes but I knew that wasn't likely.

"Well,  _ Carlitos, _ " Rosita teased him, "she said you don't deserve to know, and that I will never tell you that if you keep it up, any loyalty she has shown is as good as gone, and you'll regret it."

"Rosita," I whined, "cómo puedes traicionarme?"

"I betrayed no one," Rosita laughed, shaking her head at me. I huffed at her. Clearly, I was a joke to her. 

"How did he betray her?" Rick drawled, eyes flickering to me.

"She called someone an ‘asshole’ and then called me an ‘ass’," Carl explained to his dad. The smirk he shot my way made my skin itch. 

Oh, how I wish I could walk just fine to smack it off him. He looked like he could lounge back in one of Grandpa’s chairs with a glass of cola in hand!

"So you did say asshole!" Maggie shrieked from her spot. Glenn and Bob looked at Maggie before becoming invested in what was going on. Michonne on the other hand was redoing the ties of the sharp bits of wood she had strapped to the sheath of her katana, one ear open.

"No," I continued to deny, starting to pull on the bottom of my braid. "I quoted you when you thought I did. I said 'is that a hole' because I wasn't sure if one ripped into the backpack."

"She's lying," Eugene cut in and we all turned to look at the pitiful scientist sitting on the wooden log like some kicked puppy. "She had mentioned that some assholes had taken her chocolate and that is when Maggie had caught her. She is lying through her teeth like a professional poker player."

"Tsk," I sized up Eugene, "mira este…"

He cleared his throat at my glare but it didn’t last long. I flinched at Daryl’s firm, "Cielo."

I uncrossed my arms and grasped my hands behind me, innocently staring at Daryl. "Yes, Daddy?"

Rick laughed at the sweet tone I took and patted Daryl on his shoulder. "You are going to have a lot of trouble on your hands." Daryl shot Rick a glance but they focused right back on me. Glenn must have told Rick or Daryl himself explained to Rick his new title. No one appeared to be surprised.

Or maybe this was something they all saw from a mile away?

"Nah," Merle chuckled, "ya can bat them eyes n' say 'daddy' as sweet as can be, ya gutting them squirrels no matter what."

I gaped, looking between Merle and Daryl, waiting for the younger man to say otherwise but all he did was nod. "Bu-"

Daryl lifted a finger my way and I huffed. 

Well, shit.

I glared over at Eugene, "One eye open, Porter."

Startled, Eugene looked over at Abraham who stood the closest to him, chewing on what looked like to be a thin piece of wood. Abraham frowned at the skittish man's pleading gaze, shrugging, "As long she doesn't have her bow, you're going to be fine. She's what? Six?"

"Eight, thank you very much," I hissed. Need this growth spurt to kick up a notch, damn it!

Abraham continued as if I said nothing. "Her folks will keep her in sight. She can't even walk up to you without falling over." I turned my glare to Abraham. "Long as the bow is out of her hands you're fine."

Eugene pointed a finger at me. "She is a wolf in sheep's clothing." I blinked at the accurate accusation. "Them calling her Bambi leads you into a false sense of security and she takes advantage of it knowingly."

I tilted my head as Rick turned to a skeptically amused Abraham with a grin. "He ain't wrong. She-"

"Is smarter than she looks, that's all you lot been saying, but look at her." Abraham gestured at me as I reached for Merle’s hand, blinking innocently at him. "She's a kid."

"So, you were a sergeant in the army up till at least a year before everything went to shit. Had a wife and two kids. Coming from Houston. Met Rosita in Dallas?" Abraham and Rosita turned to look at Rick with shock and Rick just grinned, going on. "Currently, on a mission to take him up to DC to reverse this mess with the walkers. Am I right?"

"How the hell-" Abraham froze

Rosita turned to look at me with complete shock. I leaned into Merle’s arm and smirked up at him, "Am I the cutest wolf in sheep's clothing?"

He glanced down at me and choked out a laugh, shaking his head without answering. Peeking over at Daryl, he was grinning wide enough he actually had his teeth showing off, focused on the dumbfounded expression on Abraham's face. Which was a shame because he had a really nice smile. Rick was rubbing at his beard, hiding the grin on his face as he stared at the ex-sergeant, proving his point. I looked over at Abraham once more and the man really was completely in shock.

"Well, I'll be damned." Was the quiet response.

Tyreese shook his head and Sasha laughed. "We told you," Sasha reiterated, "you just didn't believe us."

"And for the record," I wrinkled my nose at him, "I didn’t get called Bambi till about two years ago, so I don't use it to 'lead you into a false sense of security'." I mimicked Eugene's words.

"Pero mira esta," Rosita quietly muttered out in shock. 

"Cutest wolf in sheep's clothing," Carol answered before pointing up at Merle, "if she keeps it up, I'll be coming after you."

"The hell ya blaming me for woman?" He glowered at Carol as she left the squirrels at our feet. Carol didn't answer but went to get the fire going again in time to roast the squirrels.

"For that exact reason," Daryl drawled out, looking at his brother exasperatedly. "You're the one cussin’ n’ saying all this crazy shit every five seconds."

"Poor girl is doomed," Michonne snorted off in the distance.


	48. Who's word will help?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another treat for the New Year!  
> To think that some of us are already counting down for 2021.
> 
> Thank you Kudos and Comments, hope you enjoy this one!

Merle gave me a piggyback ride that I haven’t had since I was probably three. Only because Grandpa and Abuelo were a bit too old to give me piggyback rides and both men were starting to have bad backs. Getting one at eight was strange but I was enjoying it all the same. It probably gave him a break from having to carry me on one arm the entire time. I rested my head on Merle’s shoulder fighting sleep under the sun's warming rays as he grumbled under his breath about how sickenly sweet Bob and Sasha were being. 

I think Merle was thinking too much into it. They were playing the weird game Bob did every time one of us complained. If it was too cold, it was refreshing. Too hot, it was the sun smiling on you. Today Bob had the nerve to say if you feel the itch of a mosquito bite that means you’re alive. Like….how does that justify an annoying mosquito bite?

While Rick didn’t exactly believe in heading to DC, he did take the suggestion Abraham gave him of just heading north. It was better than sitting in a place that was too close to what once was Terminus. Personally, I am surprised I haven’t had any flashback relating to having my head almost chopped off or any repressed memories to come along with it. Hearing Merle complain once more about ‘lovebirds’, I called for Bob.    


“Hey, Bob, can I ask you something?”

He gave Sasha a smile and pulled away from her after a quick kiss, slowing down to match Merle’s pace. “What’s going on?”

“How long will I have my concussion? It sucks not being able to walk without tripping over.” I pouted, hoping for good news, completely surprised by the kiss he gave Sasha. 

I guess Merle’s mutterings were true. 

The sudden change in topic interested Merle. He turned to look over at our medic. “Technically,” I felt Merle tense at that word and I didn’t blame him, “symptoms can last for six months to a year. Maybe more.” I blinked in shock at what I was hearing. 

Six months? 

A year? 

Longer than that?!

“You think I got six months to be carried around without a place to hole up?” The terror of being immobile for so long was obvious as my voice turned to a squeak. 

"Just because symptoms might last long doesn't mean it won’t start going away in a week at most." He tried again, seeing my distress. "My concussion isn’t healed and it’s been three days but I'm sure my head feels a whole lot better than yours. You are just two days behind me. Does your head feel worse?"

With Bob in medic mode, he reached over to me and lifted an eyelid to see my pupils better. I groaned at the extra light hitting my eyes. "Better than yesterday but it still hurts like-" Merle twisted his head to look at me with squinted eyes, "-no tomorrow. Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked Merle.

"No curse words out of ya. I ain't gonna be blamed for the shit coming out of yer mouth." Merle huffed.

"Not even damn or stupid?" I pouted. They weren’t the worst things to say from all the things I heard leaving Merle’s mouth.

"Not even," he growled. 

“How about dang? Is that okay?” I pressed on, needing different words to shift to on the off chance I do start saying the now completely forbidden words.

“No.”

Well, there went my only lenient person on letting them slip. Damn it Carol…I love you but...damn!

I sighed and looked at Bob who had a grin on his face. “What’s the good out of this?”

Bob laughed and so did Sasha and Tyreese, clearly hearing our little conversation. Bob shook his head at me, smiling wider than before. “The good is you’re clearly getting better. By the end of the week, you should be running around just fine.” 

“Perfect,” I purred, eyes narrowing on the brown sheriff’s hat up ahead. 

Won’t know what hit him…

“No,” Merle scolded.

I gaped, turning to the grey-haired Dixon who kept his eyes straight ahead. “No to what? I didn’t even do nothing!”

Merle snorted, “Ya already up to no good n' I know it. I’m just stopping whatever it is before it happens.”

“That is a load of-” Merle glared at me, “-baloney!” 

The three on-lookers cracked up once more as I pouted. All smiles quickly disappeared as there was screaming off in the woods. Everyone froze where they stood, trying to pinpoint the sound and we didn’t have to wait too long.

“Help!” A man shouted to our left. “Help, anybody! Help!”

“That idiot is going to call all the walkers to him if he keeps yelling,” I mumbled in Merle’s ear. He grunted in agreement but didn’t say much else.

“Dad, come on.” Carl took off running towards the sound. Once Carl was off, Rick was right behind him and the rest of us followed, not wanting to leave them outnumbered in whatever situation Carl had just gotten us into. I braced myself as Merle took off into a sprint of his own, mentally cursing Carl out as the headache that was doing well was starting to get irritated by every quick step Merle took. Another loud scream seemed to have spurned Carl to pick up the pace. “Come on! Come on.”

“Anyone, help! Help!” The man went on. 

Soon the echoing sound of a gunshot went off and Merle made it just in time to see the others start to dispatch the growling walkers surrounding a man on a large boulder. Since Merle and I stood off in the distance, I took in the nervous man standing on the giant rock and took note he was wearing an outfit I had only seen in churches. “Did Carl find us a priest?” I muttered to Merle, watching as Daryl stabbed a walker in its head.

Merle didn’t say anything but snorted out an answer, walking closer as Rick was helping the man get down. The man went to say something but held up a hand to Rick and turned away, bending over to turn up whatever the man had eaten earlier in the day, Rick’s face twisting in disgust. Once he was done, the man stood up straight, sheepishly looking at Rick who was now looking at the man as if he was a nuisance. 

“Sorry,” the man apologized. “Thank you. I'm Gabriel.” 

“Do you have any weapons on you?“ Rick demanded to know, that dark glint in his eye from before was back. Merle slowly knelt down, silently signaling for me to get down. I slid off and Merle didn’t waste a second to block me from the man’s view, doing the same as Abraham from his spot, checking for anything strange.

The priest let out a short laugh, “Do I look like I would have any weapons?”

“We don't give two short n’ curlies what it looks like,” Abraham told the man, eyeing his side of the perimeter for any stray walkers or unfriendlies. Eugene and Rosita stood by him, Eugene starting to drift a bit to the side where he pulled at a tall bush. Neither Abraham or Rosita were concerned when they looked over at their special scientist. I eyed the bush he was picking at noticing some berries, listening in to the conversation as I mentally thought of the book Herschel gave me to identify the fruit.

“Got so much of a stick on ya,” Merle snarled out, “best ya let us know.”

“I have no weapons of any kind.” Gabriel calmly replied to the two men. “The word of God is the only protection I need.”

I blinked and looked back at Gabriel. Did he seriously say the word of God? 

Abuela made it very clear that God will help if you ask for it. That it didn’t mean God had to do everything for you and to expect someone like God, who was a busy man, to do everything just for you is going against some other rules put in place. And here, we have a priest saying the word of God would help? 

“Sure didn't look like it.” Daryl snorted cynically. 

“I called for help. Help came.” The priest easily replied. I wrinkled my nose. Had to give him that one. He asked for help and help did come. The bald priest looked sheepishly among us, “Do you have-- have any food? Whatever I-- I had left, it just hit the ground.”

“We've got some pecans,” Carl answered him, pulling out the handful Carol had given earlier today. I rolled my eyes. Carl really was too nice.

“Thank you.” Gabriel accepted the small handful as Judith cooed in Tyreese’s grasp. My eyes narrowed on the meek priest as he took in Judith with a large smile. “That's a beautiful child.” He noticed Rick step in closer to his space and took his eyes off the infant, feeling that was a line being crossed. “Do you have a camp?”

“No,” was the strained reply Rick gave him, “Do you?”

“I have a church.” The man gestured with his pecan-filled hands to the right of him. Rick stepped into the man’s space. 

“Hold your hands above your head.” The pastor did as Rick ordered and did nothing to stop him from double-checking for any weapons on his body. “How many walkers have you killed?” Rick questioned as he checked.

“Not any, actually,” Gabriel responded with confusion. 

“Turn around. How many people have you killed?” 

“None.” Gabriel frowned at the question being asked of him.

“Why?” Was the surprised reaction from Rick, as he finally finished checking the man for any weapons, seeing there really was none.

“Because the Lord abhors violence.” Gabriel shrugged, not seeing how that was unbelievable. 

I tilted my head, observing the God-fearing man as he interacted with Rick. He’s been holed up in the church from the beginning this all went to shit -no better word than that- managed to get his hands on food, and hasn’t killed a single person to date?

“It’s another version of Eugene.” The words left my mouth without me meaning to and a few eyes turned to me, including the priest. 

“What have you done? We've all done something.” Rick wasn’t believing the man was completely innocent but I think he was. At least, the part of not lifting a hand to harm someone. 

“I'm a sinner. I sin almost every day.” The priest admitted. He cupped the pecans and pointed to the sky above us. “But those sins, I confess them to God, not strangers.” 

“You said you had a church?” Daryl interjected, looking between the two men who were conversing the entire time.

“This way,” Gabriel smiled at us and started walking ahead. Rick darkly eyed the back of the man’s head but followed, all the same, not letting his guard down. I grabbed Merle’s hand before he went to give me another piggyback ride.

“Let me try and walk a bit?” I pleaded with him. Merle’s jaw ticked a bit as he thought about it but shook his head.

“Nah, if he got a church like he says ya can practice in there. Not out here in the open.” He knelt down once more and I sighed, seeing the logic. I wrapped my arms around his neck once more and he got up immediately after I did. Merle sped up a bit as we were a bit too far behind and I bit my lip at the nagging pain in my skull.

Rick was far up ahead with Gabriel and Daryl. Both of them flanking the clergyman. Rick seemed to question Gabriel once more but with how far back Merle and I were, I couldn’t hear. Eyeing the faces of both men didn’t give me much to go off of either other than Gabriel likely said something that Rick did not appreciate one bit. I clutched tighter to my arm. I don’t like not knowing things. 

Not knowing has led us to dangerous situations…

Like Terminus.

The woods started to clear out and there was a small white church up ahead. From the distance, the tiny building didn’t give much of an impression as other churches tend to do. This one looked like a good reflection of the man who lived in it. Completely secluded from the nearest town. Clearly stating what purpose the building had. Simple, yet functional. Just trees and grass surrounding the church with a small cemetery in the distance. It looked like the same size of the little cottage Carol had taken us to. Clearly not meant to hold onto a large group like ours for more than a few hours at a time. 

“Hold up. Can we take a look around first?” Rick’s eyes flashed over to Gabriel, daring him to say no. “We just want to hold on to our squirrels.” I blinked at the strange quip as Rick let out a sharp whistle. Daryl, Abraham, and Glenn scattered to check the building wordlessly. Glenn and Daryl went to meet up in the back as Abraham went to check inside. 

“I spent months here without stepping out the front door. If you found someone inside, well, it would have been surprising.” Gabriel gave a strained smile, clearly not used to the cold reception. I eyed the small church and gasped, realizing something.

“Bob, can I finally go to sleep?” The plea was clearly heard.

Bob looked over at me with that grin of his, “You’re out of the woods. Sleep away.”

“Oh, thank God. No one wake me up unless it’s an emergency or so help me.” I swore, relieved at the fact I can finally stop the urge to stay awake and just pass out.

“Oh, what you gonna do,  _ Bambi _ ?” Rosita teased. Eugene standing next to her eyed me warily, the first of the three to believe I could be of some actual harm if I wanted to be. That or anyone could terrify him with the right words.

“She can find wood nettle and cover ya in a horrible rash for a day to start,” Merle warned her. 

Rosita just raised a brow and I devilishly smirked at the man behind her. “Hey, Eugene,” there was no hiding the sickly sweet tone my voice took on, “what kind of berries ya got over there?”

Eugene looked startled as those by us heard my question. Rosita looked over her shoulder to check on the nervous man whose eyes darted around to the people staring at him. “I-I just saw a bush full of blueberries where we found Father Gabriel.”

“Are you sure they’re blueberries?” I asked sweetly, eyes gleaming at him with mischief. 

Tyreese looked worried, rubbing Judith’s back as she was getting a bit fussy. “Probably not a good idea to grab random berries from the woods, man.”

Eugene, knowing we knew about them and couldn’t try to hide it, reached into his pocket and pulled out the round blue berries. I held a hand out, “Let me see.”

Pouting, making the man look like a kicked puppy, he handed over one large berry. I looked at it and rolled it around between my fingers. “For a smart man,” I began, tossing the berry to the ground, “you’re pretty dumb. That isn’t a blueberry. Too purplish and the bottom is wrong. That was a pokeweed berry.”

“What’s a pokeweed berry?” Sasha asked, staring at the handful Eugene was still holding onto.

My devilish smirk was back on my face, “If I really didn’t like Eugene, he would be dead if he ate plenty of them. Eating just one would give him a belly ache.”

Eugene immediately dropped the handful of berries and vigorously rubbed his hand on his shirt, staring at the innocent-looking berries on the ground fearfully. Rosita’s face blanched and looked over at Eugene with a small glare, wondering what possessed him to grab random fruit in the woods like Tyreese said. 

Merle’s body rumbled with the suppressed laugh and Sasha narrowed her eyes on me after seeing his reaction. “Were you serious or were you pulling our leg?”

I sniffed at the accusation. “Not a lie. It was in the book Herschel gave me but usually, it’s little kids thinking they’re eating grapes before parents call poison control.” I side-eyed Eugene with that jab.

Rosita sighed and looked over Eugene’s shoulder to see Abraham wave us over. “Let’s go.” She gripped Eugene underneath his arm and started to scold him quietly enough that we couldn’t hear the words she was using. I followed the two with my eyes and saw Merle look over at me as he had to turn his head uncomfortably to see me with the smirk plastered on it. 

“Ya were pulling the guy's leg, right?”

Sasha looked over exasperated, ready to say something along the lines it wasn’t funny but I beat her to it. “Nope, Pokeweed really is poisonous to people.” I looked over at Merle whose eyes widened in surprise. “If they really did look like blueberries and if they weren’t that means he grabbed some nightshade, which will kill ya.” He blinked in surprise and I frowned looking around seeing Sasha, Bob, and Tyreese all look at me with the same shocked expression.

“Oh!” I patted Merle’s shoulder, “the footnotes said that nightshade is in the same family as a tomato and potato? Isn’t that cool?!”

“Bambi, what I’m gonna need ya to do is give Daryl that book if ya still have it.”

* * *

A loud squeak of the wooden floor sounded off for the umpteenth time, waking me up from my nap. As soon as Merle and the others who were outside with us came in, I immediately told Merle to take me to one of the pews so I could finally take a nap, even if it was still too warm out. My eyes were relieved the second I closed them and ignoring the initial hustle of everyone settling in, everything went dark. Looking around, it looked like it was the same time of day, meaning I didn’t get to nap for long. Growling, I sat up and winced as my elbow caught my hair. Pushing it away, I tried again and squinted to see Rick with his hand on Carl’s shoulder, talking to him in nearly a whisper.

“I don't trust this guy. And that's why I'm bringing him with me. But he could have friends.” Rick whispered to Carl, hopefully being considerate of my attempt to get some rest. “So I need you to stay alert and help Tyreese protect Judith and Cielo, okay?”

Wait, everyone is going?

I looked around to see just Eugene, Carl, myself, and Tyreese with Judith inside the chapel. 

“Now,” Rick paused for a bit before continuing, “I need you to hear what I'm about to say. Okay. You are not safe. No matter how many people are around or how clear the area looks, no matter what anyone says, no matter what you think, you are not safe. It only takes one second. One second and it's over. Never let your guard down, ever. I want you to promise me.”

Chills went down my spine at the words Rick had uttered to Carl, feeling and  **knowing** the truth they held, nervously licking my lips that suddenly seemed too dry.

Carl’s head bobbed in agreement, “I promise.”

“Okay.” Rick took his hand off of Carl’s shoulder and went to leave but Carl stopped him.

“Dad. You're right. I am strong. We both are. But we're strong enough that we can still help people. And we can handle ourselves if things go wrong. And we're strong enough that we don't have to be afraid and we don't have to hide.” Carl was sincere and sounding older than his fourteen years.

“Well, he's hiding something.” Rick pressed, still uncertain about the man from the woods.

“If yer that worried,” I startled both father and son, twin blue eyes locked on me, “I can try askin’ a bit.” A yawn escaped me and I rubbed my eyes quickly. I pushed back the hair that was tickling the side of my eye as Rick smiled softly over at me. 

I really do need a haircut.

“No, it’s fine.” He grinned before adding, “You know, Carl was joking how you’re starting to sound like Merle. Didn’t think it was true till now.”

“I just woke up from my nap. Give me a moment.” I growled. 

Rick chuckled and looked back at Carl, silently communicating to him. Carl smiled back at him sadly, “We’ll stay safe, Dad.”

“Yeah.” He nodded before scanning over our faces one last time as he turned to leave. With one last determined look at Judith in Tyreese’s arms, Rick left. 

“Make sure to grab some bags on your way!” I called out. I got a wave in response as he closed the chapel door behind him, Tyreese locking it behind Rick. Another yawn left me as I turned over to Carl, “What did I miss?”

Carl snorted but walked over to me all the same. “Not much, really. Dad and the others are going to some store full of canned goods. Merle said something about that book Herschel gave you is dangerous.” I waved a hand with a ‘psh’ as Carl kept updating me on what happened during my nap. Turns out nothing really exciting happened in the short time I was out like a light.

“Let me get my bag, I wanna give something to you.” I tiredly said to Carl, using the pew to walk along the floor, testing my balance. Seeing that it was a whole lot better than this morning, I slowly walked over to my black backpack, opening the pocket that I stashed our pictures in. Noticing the one with the smaller black frame, I pulled it out knowing it was Carl’s.

I didn’t need to go far as Carl seemed to have followed me every step of the way, likely in case I tumbled over face first. Handing it over with a smile, Carl’s eyes started to water seeing the picture nearly sobbing in relief. “I thought this was gone forever.”

“Nah, I ran back to grab some stuff and the pictures were one of them.” I shrugged, looking down at Lori’s smiling face. “Figured you wanted yours as much as I would want mine.”

Carl didn’t say anything. He just gave me a watery smile and walked over to a pew to stare at the picture a little longer. I decided to do the same but only to test how fast I can move before I felt like the world would turn topsy turvy on me. Not being able to run is dangerous. Especially now that we didn’t have a home to stay safe behind anymore. 

I growled as I saw that the only way I could move around just fine was if we were going at a snail's pace, which isn't an option. I sat in the pew with a huff and looked around the inside of the chapel, noticing the bigger things first. Jesus on the cross was straight ahead behind the altar and podium. The fans on the top of the ceiling clearly do not work. Pretty stained glass windows depicting scenes from the bible. Two closed doors that weren’t the main chapel doors we came in from. Nothing extremely interesting stood out.

Tyreese’s deep chuckle echoed behind me and I slowly turned my head to look over at him, seeing he was entertaining Judith. The gentle giant flashed a grin, “Not fast enough, huh?”

“No,” I sighed, putting my head in my hand, leaning against the pew. “I even try to speed up and either everything starts to spin upside down or my feet almost trip over the other. I can turn my head faster than I can move my feet without feeling weird.”

Tyreese’s grin shrunk a bit, “You’ll be fine. Bob said to give it about a week. You’re just two days in.”

A sudden wave of exhaustion hit me again. “I’m gonna take another nap. Wake me up when dinner’s ready, will ya?”

I was already leaning down when Tyreese answered me, drifting off to the dream world. 

* * *

The scream was ripped out of me as he pulled me up by my hair, pulling me out of the small room I was in. “There you are,” the sick grin growing on his face, “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

I plunged the letter opener towards him, hoping it would make contact with his body. The surprised scream told me I did, but the letter opener was still in my hands, it didn’t sink in anywhere. I just grazed him at best.

Horror filled me as he roared, “You fucking-!” He let me go and kicked me towards the wall. Pain filled me as I doubled up, clutching my belly from the kick. I screamed, sobbing as I pulled myself up, curling into the wall. The man angrily paced in place, tossing the small head away from us, whatever idea he had involving it had changed.

He crouched down in front of me, grabbing my cheeks roughly, “I’m tired of your little games. Now, you’re gonna tell me where your group is.”

I shook my head, sobbing. “I already told-” A deep gasp stopped me from finishing, “-you I don’t know.”

He let go, pushing my head hard into the wall behind me, a wail left my lips as I reached for the back of my head. My entire vision blurred with falling tears, body aching from the kick still. It felt as I could feel the color red. It was red at the back of my head. It was fire-red at my belly. My body was showing me the color red. I curled into a ball again, trying to push away from him but all I had was the wall stopping me from doing so.

“WHERE?” He screamed at me. My entire face was knocked to the ground, head slamming into the door he opened, face burning. A shrill scream left my lips, tears falling at a faster pace than before, realizing the sharp pain in my cheek was him hitting me. It hurts! My head hurts, my face hurts, everything hurts!

I covered my face with my hands, crying, afraid he was going to hit me again. “I don’t know, I don’t know!” 

I felt two hands grasp tightly to my jacket and lifted me, throwing me into one of the bookshelves my entire back and side hurting worse than my cheek, books slamming down onto my body from above. Another scream left me as I fell down onto the books, heaving a sob, I tried getting up, ready to run. I couldn't stay here. I needed to run down the stairs and back outside but the large hand grabbed the hood of my jacket, pulling me back. I was slammed backward where I laid face up, staring at the cold brown eyes that were looking down at me, letter opener in his hand, thinking. He flipped the letter opener around, a decision made, and stabbed it into my thigh feeling an unnatural scream tearing out of my throat. 

I was sobbing, feeling the saliva dripping out of my mouth as I cried loudly, pulling Terry to my chest, my grip on him tightening every second. My leg was burning. There wasn’t any fire but it felt like it was burning. I looked at my leg to see him pushing down on the letter opener. It was sticking out from my leg, blood pouring out of the wound, feeling as if the muscles in my leg were trying to move away from the pain. Another loud wail escaped as he moved the letter opener, the voice getting louder in my head. 

They weren’t coming. 

I was on my own.

They weren't coming!

They _left_ me.

* * *

“Cielo!” Someone was screaming in my ear.

Gasping, I turned to see who it was. Daryl was kneeling on the floor of the pew I was on, brushing the tears and hair that stuck to my face worriedly, making shushing sounds. Whining, I gripped his vest and hid my face into his neck. “You didn’t leave me. You’re here.” I cried into his neck, sobbing loudly.

“I tho-thought you all le-left me behind.” It took a lot of effort to get the words through my heaving sobs. Daryl held me tighter to him and let me get it all out of my system before saying anything. My body followed as he took a seat next to me, turning me into a more comfortable position.

“Sweetheart,” Carol tried to get my attention on the other side of the pew. “What are you talking about?”

I sniffed, hiding my head further into Daryl’s neck, not wanting to look at the others just yet as I took in big gulps of air. Daryl’s large hand started to rub my back in circles, patiently waiting for me to settle down and answer Carol. I felt his jaw graze the top of my head, him shaking his head at someone, and let me stay where I was without a word. My heaving gasps slowed to shuddering breaths of air when I decided to pull away from Daryl’s neck. He eased the grip he had on me so I could sit back. 

I sniffed again, locking eyes with Daryl’s sad ones as he wiped off the stray tears that still made their way out. “Better?”

“Mm-hmm,” I took in a shuddering breath of air as I answered. 

“What did you mean that you thought we left you,” Daryl asked Carol’s question from earlier a bit differently.

I bit my lip nervously, looking at the leather vest, and grabbed onto the edge of it, quietly whispering. “The bookstore…”

Daryl’s body tensed. The eyes full of worry turned to anger but I knew the anger wasn’t at me. The muscles in his jaw started to twitch before he answered. “I’d never leave ya behind, ya understand?” Daryl then turned to the others to his left, pointing at the others who were looking on. “If I can’t get ya then Rick, Glenn, and Merle would go after ya. They will never leave ya behind either.”

“I know,” my lips wobbled, “it’s just that he found me. He threw me like I was...he _hurt_ me!”

Daryl pulled me into a hug, stressing the words that mattered as his accent deepened. “Ya ain’t in that bookstore. Ya here with all of us. Ya safe.” I nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck, trying to ground myself some more.

“If I may,” Gabriel timidly chimed in, “I am quite used to helping others in times of hardships, perhaps I can assist?”

I pulled away and frowned at the pastor. “How can you help? You weren’t there. You don’t know what happened.”

Gabriel just smiled at me and clasped his hands in front of him. I sat back onto the pew and leaned against Daryl’s side, not wanting to leave. “Sometimes having an outsider point of view can help ease one’s mind.”

A loud snort that I recognized as Merle’s sounded to my right. “How ya gonna help her get past it if she doesn't remember it all?”

Gabriel frowned at what Merle told him. “She doesn’t remember?”

“Bit and pieces come back to her,” Maggie softly told the man. “When she remembers, they tend to be like that.”

Gabriel looked back at me with sympathy, “Oh, sweet child. This world has failed you.”

“There is a lot of bad out there,” I nodded, agreeing with him, “but it also gave me my new family. And they take good care of me.”

“You also have your father with you and that is more than what most can ask,” Gabriel added. I smiled up at Daryl who was glowering at the pastor at the unhelpful commentary.

“Yeah,” I leaned my head against Daryl’s chest, “I got a great dad out of it.” 


	49. That's bullshit!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for Comments and Kudos!
> 
> We made it to 2021!
> 
> This chapter is starting to pick up the pace a bit, Cielo is still pissed at Tara, and I managed to weave the lead up to Cielo's arrival in Alexandria. I've been rereading some pre-written chapters after this and made some tweaks to fit future chapters. Details and clues I leave tend to be subtle...very subtle...
> 
> But I hope this entertains

After my nightmare, I saw Carol was cooking up the squirrels that were prepared by Daryl as I was sleeping. I clung onto him and if he was annoyed with me, he didn’t show it. He left me be and knew when I felt ready I would detach myself from underneath his arm. Everyone, except the five people we just met, knew my love for chocolate. That was exactly how Glenn managed to drag me away from Daryl. I almost missed the silent communication between him and my dear father figure but I forgave them. I did get a Hershey chocolate bar out of the deal.

I savored the first bite, knowing the next time I would be able to get my hands on chocolate will be slim to none. At the second bite, I felt a heavy weight on my shoulder and an annoying large hat bump into my head. “Deal’s still on you know…”

I backed away so I could properly glare at the smirking teenage boy. Rick groaned off in the corner, “Do I want to know what deal you two got now?”

Carl grinned at Rick, “I got the better end of the deal this time.”

“Don’t worry, Carlitos, I got time to get things my way again.” I teased, taking another bite before handing over the other half to him. Carl gave me a side-eye at the nickname I gave him and I returned the smirk he was giving me earlier as he took the candy.

“What's so bad about her making a deal?” Tara asked, confused. 

“Cielo’s aunt was a lawyer,” Daryl answered her, leaning against one of the pews, ”she got the lingo down and everything.”

“Chances are she knows the loopholes of the deal better than you.” Glenn had a grin etching it’s way on his face. 

“That’s how she’s got Glenn looking for candy and comics to this day.” Maggie ran her hand through Glenn’s hair teasingly. Glenn took it well and smiled lovingly at Maggie as Tara looked back at both Carl and me.

“Better add ‘recon’ to her list.” Abraham joked to the group.

“I don’t got a list.” I denied as I finished the last of my chocolate that was melting in my mouth. Merle was the loudest at disagreeing with me with a short harsh laugh. The more subtle was the cough behind her fist coming from Carol by the doorway, eyes beaming. I gaped at them, “I don’t!”

“From the day we met you we learned that you were a lawyer in training, a trickster, learned to track and hunt thanks to Daryl-” Glenn started to list them off but I cut him off.

“Sounds like a list of skills to me,” I flipped my hair over my shoulders, “if you excuse me, I’m gonna change my shirt.” I slowly got up and made my way to the bag, feeling a few pairs of nervous eyes as I did so. Before any of the concerned adults said anything, I assured them. “If I don’t walk fast I’m okay.”

Opening the bag, I pushed things aside as I pulled out a random grey shirt from the bag to replace the blood-stained one underneath the new jacket. There wasn’t time to change the shirt in a more private setting before and it was easier switching the warm navy blue jacket to the sky blue sweatshirt I had now. Zipping the bag closed, I scanned the room for the man who kept his distance from the group and walked over to him. Gabriel was so focused on the larger group he didn’t see me next to him. I tilted my head to the side, waiting for him to take notice before I got impatient. “Father Gabriel?” 

His head snapped over to me, then smiled, showing off his pearly white teeth. I cut to the chase, “Do you have a room I can change in?”

“Yes,” he answered immediately and walked over to one of the doors I noticed earlier, “this is my office. You can go ahead and change there.” He pulled out a set of keys and unlocked the door to his office, pushing it open for me with another smile. “Here you go.”

“Thank you!” I walked a bit too fast and nearly stumbled, cursing under my breath, and slowed down a bit more.

“Ya say something, Bambi?” Merle shouted from across the room.

“Why ya always think the worst?” I shouted back, glaring over my shoulder at the man. Daryl was there smirking next to a scowling Merle with his arms crossed, clearly doubting me as well. I rolled my eyes and turned to close the door. 

How do they know?!

* * *

Everyone was laughing as they ate their dinner, talking to one another. I think it was because of the wine Gabriel gave everyone. Not everything they said was that funny. Or maybe it was because we were all here together, safe and sound, with food to hold us over for another week. Carl and I shared a look at the overly happy adults who passed around the wine pouring into little glasses. At least they weren’t full out drunk.

“Ooh, give me-- ah. I'd like to propose a toast.” Abraham boomed, catching everyone’s attention. The excited noise died down and everyone slowly turned to the towering redhead with curiosity.

Seeing he had everyone's attention, he began, “I look around this room…”

Oh, God. It’s about going to DC. Here we go.

“And I see survivors. Each and every one of you has earned that title.” His eyes roamed around the room with a smile. “To the survivors.” He raised his glass. “The Survivors! Cheers!”

“Cheers.” Was the echoed reply in the chapel. Everyone raised their little glasses briefly before taking a drink. The mood in the room was ten times better after my rude awakening. Carol managed to dodge the questions the newcomers had regarding my nightmares and no one dared ask me with Daryl and Merle flanking both sides of me at the time.

As soon as I turned to tell Carl it wasn’t over, Abraham continued on. “Is that all you want to be?” He looked at his captive audience with a solemn face. “Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat? 'Cause you can do that.”

Abraham’s eyes gleamed with determination. “I mean, you got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender. Now, we get Eugene to Washington and he will make the dead die and the living will have this world again. And that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip.”

Judith’s coo was the only thing to echo within the silent room and Rick bounced her in his arms, settling the baby before she let out anything louder. “Shh,” Rick hushed her, keeping his gaze on the child he thought he lost for good.

“Eugene, what's in DC?” Abraham goaded, displeased with the lack of enthusiasm.

Eugene didn’t miss a beat, instantly answering a bit robotically, as if it was practiced a thousand times in his head. “Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics even of this fubar magnitude. That means food, fuel, refuge. Restart.”

“However this plays out, however long it takes for the reset button to kick in, you can be safe there. Safer than you've been since this whole thing started. Come with us.” Abraham pleaded before he switched to a different tactic as it was quiet longer than he would have liked.

“Save the world for that little one.” He softly mentioned Judith before his eyes turned to me. “Save it for kids like Cielo, who deserve a place to freely live without fear.” I glared at the ex-sergeant as he brought me into it but he moved on again. “Save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there who don't got nothing left to do except survive.”

It was silent again. Everyone in their own thoughts. A quick glance showed that Michonne was on board, looking at Rick pleadingly, hoping he would take it. Sasha nodded silently, ready to go to DC as she stated before now that she had Tyreese with her. The rest looked at Rick, hoping that he would give them the decision. Not wanting to agree and leave the rest who disagreed behind. Irritated, I looked over at Daryl and Merle, hoping neither one was guilted into taking the bait. Both were looking at the ground silently and I knew they did.

Abraham was on equal footing with Tara on my list right now.

Judith let out another coo and Rick leaned into her, “What was that?”

Everyone started to laugh at the cute picture but I glowered over at Abraham’s direction. “I think she knows what I'm about to say. She's in. If she's in, I'm in. We're in.” Rick declared and that had everyone cheering, their silent prayers answered. 

Tyreese clapped his hands once before pumping his fists towards him, excitedly shouting, “Yeah. Let's do it!” 

“Okay,” Sasha exclaimed, getting up from where she was sitting on the floor. “I'm not letting my brother be the only one that gets to hold that baby.”

Laughter ensued as Sasha finally got her hands on Judith, Rick reluctant to hand her over. I couldn’t help but smile at the happy faces in front of me, even if I didn’t care for the whole DC plan. From the corner of my eye, Tara stood up, nervously wiping her hands on her pants and my eyes narrowed in on the woman. “Wait. One more.”

Everyone stopped once more. Rick turned his attention to the brunette tensely. 

“You okay?” Rick asked her, silently asking her the real question I knew he meant. Frustration welled up in me as I looked on. I still couldn’t believe Rick and Daryl were okay with her here. 

“Yeah, yeah.” She vigorously nodded her head, eyes darting around the room at the confused faces. Tara took a deep breath in and let it all out in one giant sentence. “I was at the prison. With the Governor. I didn't know who he was or what he could do. And I didn't know who all of you were. I-- I just didn't want it to be hidden. That I was there.”

It was silent.

Finally, everyone here knew where Tara really came from. She didn’t come from the woods nearby as Glenn said. It wouldn’t take long before someone else would be as angry as I was. She helped take away everything from us. A place that took the lives of people we loved to make it a home. A place where we were able to have a new start in this bloody world. A fresh one with its own challenges. Challenges we were more likely to survive if we **weren’t** rushed out of there.

I waited for someone to say something and Maggie was the one to stand up, turning her body towards the shorter woman. She smiled and her green eyes softened at Tara, “You're here with us now.” 

The others were silent and didn’t say another word, accepting Tara into the fold. Tara let a nervous smile break out on her face and I felt my jaw drop. That’s it? She’s here with us now? No arguments? No ultimatums?

The lid that held back my anger broke free again.

“You got to be fucking kidding me!” 

The words left my lips before I could stop them and heads snapped to me. A few shouted at my word choice but it was the only thing that got the point across. Merle went to march over to me with a large scowl on his face and it was like a flip in me was switched.

“No! How can all of you be okay with her doing what she did?” I yelled, eyes blazing. Tara shrunk in on herself and Maggie took a stance I knew well enough. “Don’t defend her!” I shouted at Maggie, ignoring the stabbing pain that came with it.

“Cielo,” Rosita chimed in sternly, “I thought we went over this.” 

I looked over to see her frowning at me. I growled, making sure to stress each word I wanted to stand out, “We went over how she is partly to blame for what was  _ my home _ going up in flames. How _ I _ had to be put on a bus hearing everyone being eaten alive because  _ we _ didn’t have a doctor to save them. I had to put down my  _ own  _ Grandpa because of  _ her _ !”

It was silent and I kept raving, looking over at Glenn. “I don’t care if you say she helped you find us because Maggie made it clear exactly where we were going.” I turned to Rick. “And I don’t care whatever understanding you have with her. It doesn’t change anything that happened! She-”

“Exactly, it doesn’t change anything.” Rick cut in, patronizing me. His body shifted and he placed one hand on his hip and the other gestured to a cowering Tara. “Whether Tara was there or not would have not changed the fact that the  **Governor** came back and destroyed our home.  _ He _ did it.  _ He _ was the one to give the order.” I chewed the inside of my cheek as Rick kept scolding me. “Tara was not responsible for it at all. She was a bystander in the Governor's web.”

My heated glare didn’t let up and Rick ran his hand over his face quickly before he changed tactics. “Look at her,” he tilted his head to Tara. 

“Go on, look.” Rick quickly gestured to her again and I did. Tara’s eyes were close to tears, shoulders hunched over, clearly wanting the floor to open up a hole so she could disappear and hide. I turned my attention back at Rick who was grim. He lifted a hand and pointed at Tara, “Does that look like someone who is proud of what happened?”

I refused to say it. I glowered over at Tara once more, knowing Rick was right. She was pitiful.

“Cielo,” Daryl gruffly scolded me, silently demanding I answer Rick’s question.

“No,” I bit out. 

"Then there is nothing more to say or do." Rick shook his head at me, eyes filling with pain. "The prison is gone. We can't go back. We can only move forward."

"Why with her?" The question came out as a whimper. I didn't mean for it to come out like that but it showed just how much it bothered me she was here. With us. 

Rick wasn't the one to answer. Glenn was. He was still sitting on the pew, softly smiling at me. "'Cause we're all she's got." I stared at Tara some more, trying to understand. Glenn pushed once more, "Just like how we were all you got back in the farm when Dale spotted you in the fields."

I squinted back at Glenn. "Mami was a walker when you all found me. I had no one until you guys took me in."

"And all of Tara's family died back at the prison." Glenn patiently explained, pointing out she’s just as alone as me.

I bit the inside of my cheek a bit angrily, practically staring down Tara, who still avoided my eyes. Growling, I turned to Rick with a watery glare, "If she gets  _ any _ of you hurt or killed. I'm either returning the favor or gunning her down. I lost enough family as is."

A relieved breath of air left Tara's lips loudly but she said nothing more. Glenn gave Tara two thumbs up, the issue finally resolved as far as he was concerned. Rick let out a choppy laugh, not believing me, and anger filled my belly. "I mean it. I already killed two men. What's killing someone else?" 

The warmth the room was filled in was replaced with a chill faster than the cool air creeping in outside could compete with. All of their faces were covered in various stages of shock and horror. Rick turned to look over at Daryl, silently communicating with one another. I huffed with irritation at the nonverbal communication.

"Out there is only getting worse and you all know it." I shook my head slowly, tears threatening to fall if the lump building in my throat was any warning, choking out, "I'm not going to be a victim in someone's story. Not again."

Merle looked at me with a sadder expression than the others. I looked over at a shocked Tara once more before looking at a horrified Gabriel. "I'll take a nap in your office if you don't mind. Heads pounding." 

Not looking back at them or waiting for Gabriel to answer, I walked to his office and closed it behind me. Walking over to the winged chair, I sat in it and looked out the window, looking into the dark woods rubbing at my eyes. 

* * *

About half an hour later, I heard a knock on Gabriel's office door, and I turned my head away from the window. I knew it wasn't Merle. He would have barged in here. Daryl would wait to talk about it when I wasn't trying to hide away, likely to also think of what to say to me. Rick probably doesn't want to add fuel to the fire so maybe it was Carol or Maggie.

"Come in," I sighed, turning back to the dark woods out the window.

The door silently opened as a light pair of footsteps stepped in, closing the door behind them. "Thought you were taking a nap?" Maggie asked but we both knew she was stalling.

"Everyone knows I didn't plan on napping after waking up just two hours ago." I watched her through the reflection of the window. She was standing by the door, arms crossed, head tilted to try and see my face. "It was an excuse to get away from whatever you wanna talk about."

There ya go, Maggie. It's laid out there. Just say what you want and go.

"Cielo, sweetheart," Maggie took a couple more steps before she kneeled in front of me at the winged chair. I finally looked over at her and saw the pain deep in her eyes. "What you said…"

"The part of me shooting Tara dead if she gets any of you killed or refusing to be a victim?"

Maggie winced at the bluntness that left my mouth. "Honey, you don't have to feel like you need to protect us. We should be the ones to protect you."

"Wrong, I need to protect all of you just as much as you all would protect me." My fist clenched out of her sight on the windowsill ledge. "Walkers definitely don't care who or what they eat. People like the guy from the bookstore or Terminus sure as hell don't."

Maggie reached for one of my hands and I didn't fight her, her eyes avoiding mine for now. I looked at the soft hand covering mine. "You know what the guy from the bookstore said? That Mami should have put me out of my misery or I will be at the mercy of people like him." Maggie bit both of her lips, unable to say anything and I looked back outside seeing Bob standing by the trees, curls swaying as I shook my head. "He was right about one thing."

I took my eyes off Bob and at Maggie’s tearful sea-green eyes. "I am at the mercy of others. He tossed me into the bookshelves like I was nothing. Kicked me into walls. Stabbed me with a letter opener I found to defend myself with." Maggie lost whatever battle as tears started to flow. "Then there was the Governor's minions that would have killed me if it wasn’t for Merle. The people at Terminus wanted to actually cook me up and eat me. Once we leave here, what happens next?"

"We go to DC and Eugene-" Maggie tried but I cut her off.

"Yeah, great track record Abraham’s got on his way to DC just to drop off Eugene. There's always something going wrong and it is  _ just _ an inconvenience that they lost people along the way." The bitterness wasn't something either one of us is used to leaving my lips. I ran a tongue over my lip as if I could taste the bitter words that left them. 

Maggie didn't say anything. Probably because whatever she came here to 'fix' doesn't have a solution. Or maybe she was taking it all in. 

I went to look back outside the window and saw Bob was already gone, waiting out Maggie’s silence. She squeezed the hand she held onto before trying again. "These last two years hasn't been easy on anyone. Especially you. No one will deny that."

One of her tears hit the back of my wrist and I frowned. The fist that was clenched on the windowsill was the only freehand that I had, so I used it to wipe away her tears. A choked laugh escaped her as her eyes made contact with mine again. "But just because there are people out there who are cruel doesn't mean that you have to be cruel too. That's not who you are." Maggie shook her head and cradled my cheek with her other hand, eyes searching.

"You're the girl who always says she's okay because you don't want anyone to worry about you. You're the little girl who helped Carl convince Rick to take breaks because you saw how broken he was. The sweet girl who cheered up Lori the entire winter. The sweet little girl who took time and effort to make us these bracelets and necklaces." Maggie smiled at me. 

Her thumb caressed my cheekbone, eyes shining, "You have a beautiful heart. You don't have it in you to be cruel like them. Not some monster. Living or dead." She sniffed before tilting her head at me. "You are our sweet, mischievous," she let a choked laugh go after that, "little Bambi."

I looked at Maggie carefully. She looked worn down. Worse than when we first lost our home and Glenn was missing. The new beige tunic, clothes they grabbed on their trip out to replace the ones we’ve been wearing, made her look sick. Her usually tanned skin was so pale it looked grey. The only color was her eyes and the dark bags underneath them. The tear stains just added to the weary look her face seemed to have.

I copied her and put my smaller hand to her cheek. "I don't want to lose the rest of you. I have to help somehow."

A smile stretched onto her face. "Just be that sweet little girl we come home to. That helps more than you think."

I snorted, "You do realize Grandpa said I am as vindictive as Mami. I looked it up and that definitely sounds like the opposite. And Eugene says I'm meaner than a polecat, so I got no clue where you all got 'sweet' from."

Maggie laughed and pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around her, knowing she needed the hug, maybe more than I did. I nuzzled my head into her shoulder, giving her the time to collect herself, to feel at peace. As she pulled away I squinted at her. "Don't expect me to be all 'sweet' with Tara. Still not happy that everyone is giving her a free pass."

"Just don't give her a rough time." Maggie sadly sighed.

I blinked at her. "Did I ever give Merle a hard time even after he spanked me  _ before _ I liked him?"

Maggie gave me a deadpanned reply with a stare to match it. "You bit Merle hard enough that your teeth marks are still in his arm. And that's when you  _ started  _ to like him."

I blinked owlishly at her, knowing that there was no defense to that. "Yeah, I did, huh?"

She chuckled lightly and patted my knee. "Come on, let's go outside and give Tara a breath of fresh air that you  _ won't  _ be maiming or killing her."

"Fine," I groaned. If it was up to me, I would have left her thinking I would, even if I ever did start to like her. Maybe then I would tell her she’s okay. 

Maybe...

I got off the chair and let Maggie walk me out back to the chapel. Several heads looked up as soon as the door opened. I expected Maggie to be the first out the door but her hand behind my back pushed me in first. I briefly pouted at her but she gave me a stern look in reply. I controlled the urge to roll my eyes and looked at the faces in the room, noticing Daryl, Carol, and Bob weren't in here.

"Cielo," Maggie’s motherly tone that she perfected over the last two years with me, "don't you have something to say?"

Shoulders dropping I looked over at Tara. "Sorry if I said that I would kill you if you got anyone killed." A small finger pressed into my back and I sighed, "I won't kill you. It's over the top."

Carl narrowed his eyes at me. "So you're forgiving her just like that after yelling at everyone for it?"

I scoffed, "God, no. Consider it her on probation."

Tara let a deep breath of air out and seemed to hunch over. "That's a relief."

"Oh," I looked over to see Rick cross his arm, eyes narrowed. "What stipulations are you putting on her probation?"

I raised a brow. "Don’t get you guys killed. Pull her weight. Don't give me a cross-eyed look. Think that's fair enough."

Merle snorted, waving me over. "Girl, get yer ass over here."

I cautiously looked over at Merle, feeling anxious, "Why?"

Merle gave me a half-hearted glare and pointed in front of him. I slowly started making my way over, the feeling not leaving my gut. "Where's Dad?"

"Outside. If ya weren't already a mess yer ass would be running laps in this room for saying what ya did." He stared down at me as I stood in front of him cautiously looking for anything that he wasn't carrying earlier. There wasn’t a good reason as to why he suddenly wanted me standing in front of him.

A hard pinch to the cheek that stayed clamped on was what I should have looked out for. "Ow, ow, Uncle Merle, that hurts!"

"Maybe next time ya will think twice before dropping a 'fuck' so easily in them words. If we had soap then I wouldn't have to pinch these baby cheeks." He lectured. I whined and tried to pry his fingers off my poor cheek.

"What about threatening to kill Tara?" Tyreese asked, perplexed at the simple scolding I got. 

Gabriel nodded, agreeing with Tyreese as he gestured to me. "A child shouldn't kill. Children are God's innocents. They-"

Merle eased up a bit to my relief and stared over at Tyreese and Gabriel with annoyance "Hell I care about her wanting to take out Buttercup o'er there? If Bambi is upset she got every right to be. Be happy she's giving her a 'probation'." Merle briefly looked over at Maggie. "I'm sure Peaches laid into her about that part anyway."

Finally, I pulled my cheek out of Merle’s beefy fingers, rubbing my poor cheek. Rick only shook his head as Tyreese and Gabriel looked at Merle with shock. I huffed, pouting at Merle, "I'm going to look for Bob. Assaulting my cheek after a head injury has to be bad for me."

He shot me an exasperated look, "Ya ain't pulling any heartstrings o'er here."

I snorted, walking towards the door of the chapel, "I already got the important ones, Grizzly Bear."

A scoff from behind me was all I heard as I opened the chapel door. "Bob!"

I was met with silence in the dark. Nothing but the sounds of crickets echoing in the night. I walked out on the church's porch and looked around for him, Carol, or Daryl. Confused, I called out again for everyone. "Bob? Carol? Dad?"

Nervousness started to flutter in my belly as I walked down the rickety wooden steps. "Guys?"

I kept going forward, scanning the trees for any movement. A loud snap of a twig sounded to my left and I froze, heart starting to beat faster in my chest. I swallowed, my mouth feeling a little dry, looking out into the darkness before calling out once more. "Daddy?"

I didn't dare walk too far away from the building. All I had was the knife in my boot. My hunting knife was gone and the bow was inside the chapel. Feeling an eerie sensation start to crawl down my back, I slowly walked backward, too scared to turn my back on the woods. I listened carefully but heard nothing else."Merle?!" I shouted loud enough to get his attention from inside, not caring for the throbbed pain that reprimanded me for it. 

Something is wrong.

Daryl and Carol wouldn't leave me alone if I was calling for them. They would have said something to me after I called out to them. We already had one bad scare and after my nightmare, they wouldn’t ignore me. Bob wouldn't do the same either. Especially since I had a concussion, he would be right behind Carol and Daryl to make sure I was doing fine.

An arm wrapped itself around my waist, squeezing me to their chest, and I screamed. 

I wiggled around, trying to give whoever it was time to let me know who it was, but the grunt that left the man’s lips wasn’t familiar. At the unfamiliar sound, panic began to fill me and I started to fight back with more effort, knowing it was Daryl or Bob. I lifted my arm and aimed my elbow up, hoping it would land a hit. The painful hiss and the rubbery feel to my elbow told me I landed a hit to the eye. Next, I went to kick out as a hand reached to cover my mouth. It immediately prompted me to do the same as the day we were in Terminus. I moved my mouth and went to bite down when I just managed to nip the skin of their hand, whoever it was hissed and jerked the hand away- fast.

"Bambi!" Merle roared and whoever held me, dropped me. My world blurred for a moment as I fell down on my side, letting out a loud 'uff' as I hit the ground, footsteps scratching against the grass as the person ran for the woods. Thundering footsteps from the wooden church came to kneel down beside me as Glenn and Rick ran ahead, following the person. 

"Ya alright?" Merle ran a worried hand over my face and I tore my gaze away from the men disappearing into the woods. 

"I'm okay," I nodded slowly, smiling at him a bit nervously, heart pounding erratically in my chest at the close call. I gripped tightly to the grass, trying to ground myself, feeling fear edge it’s way to my heart. Seeing Merle’s blue eyes scanning me, I knew I failed at trying to appear unaffected at nearly being kidnapped.

"C'mere," he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me up so I could be eye level with him, feeling secure in his arms. Merle scanned the area with a scowl. "Hell is Daryl?"

"I don't know. Bob and Carol are missing too." I whispered nervously by his ear, trying to help him find them too, nearly curling myself into him as fear began to win. 

There were several loud snapping of branches and twigs heading back towards us. Merle tensed up, muscles coiling to either strike out or get me to a safe place, intently focused on his surroundings. My heart was beating too fast than what I felt was healthy, the thrumming of my heart no doubt felt by Merle’s shoulder, scanning the shadows dancing behind him. Whoever snuck up on me wouldn't be making loud noises coming back to us, there’s no way. 

Rick's bearded face appeared first and all tension left Merle’s shoulders as Glenn appeared next with a frown. "They're gone." 

"Let's head inside," Rick tensely recommended, looking around the area for anything out of sorts. 

Merle’s grip on me tightened. "Daryl ain't out here."

"Neither is Bob and Carol." I frowned, worried that they were caught. It's one thing to get me. I'm small and weigh practically nothing. Daryl isn't the type to go without a fight and Bob or Carol wouldn't let anything happen to the other two. I didn’t like this. I felt like a mouse in this game and there was someone lurking in those woods.

"Inside," Rick reiterated and we did. Or, Merle did and I was along for the ride, but I didn’t dare disagree. I wanted the safety of the walls. I didn’t want to be out here anymore. As Merle walked up towards the church, I kept looking out for Carol, Bob, and Daryl in the dark, hoping that one of the shadows I kept seeing would turn into them. I wanted them to be safe inside with us. I wanted my family to be in one spot.

I wanted my Dad...


	50. They're Back!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a few minutes to midnight for me, so Happy Monday! Uploading it before I go to sleep/work so I can try and focus on future chapters. 
> 
> Thank you for commenting and giving kudos!   
> I see there are people still finding this fic and enjoying it enough to read 50 chapters worth of it, so it makes me excited to see those notications of kudos and comments.
> 
> And if any one noticed I added Merle/OC because this involved the entire Dixon family when I literally planned for just one, but please don't get your hopes up about Merle. He's used 3 of his nine lives in 50 chapters 😬

As soon as we came inside, Maggie and Carl ran up to me, asking questions simultaneously that all I could get out was that I was okay over and over. The others were looking apprehensive about the situation but relieved to see that Merle had me in his grasp. Sasha scanned around us, waiting for Bob to appear but the panic started to settle in when Rick closed the door behind him. 

"Where's Bob?" 

Sasha ran up to Rick, eyes silently begging to hear something good but Rick's lips thinned when he answered her. "He wasn't there. Carol and Daryl aren't out there either."

"What happened?" Carl asked the question everyone was dying to know, trying to get a straight answer other than I was fine and Merle’s glare telling him to back away, which he listened to the nonverbal command.

"Someone tried to run off with Cielo. Whoever tried to run off with her probably took them." Glenn answered. “Good thing she called out when she did. Otherwise…” Glenn trailed off, sparing a glance my way as Merle unconsciously placed his chin on top of my head, feeling the vibrations of his displeased growl. I patted the side of his jaw, feeling the muscles in them jump from the unsaid words he wanted to say.

The tension rose within the room and Sasha reached for her rifle, night scope attached, ready to head out the door but Tyreese grabbed a hold of Sasha around her waist. "You go out there and you'll be putting yourself in just as much danger."

Merle set me on the ground, feeling better knowing that I was now safe, focusing on the other issue of Daryl missing. "I ain’t fixin' to leave my baby brother out there."

"It's too dark to track," I softly told him, knowing he knew the same deep down. Merle frowned at me, seeing my sorrowful eyes before he turned on his feet, rubbing his face and head, cursing more colorful words that I haven't heard to date.

Carl grabbed my wrist, pulling me away from the door and the adults who were starting to argue on what to do. I didn't fight him on it. I slipped my hand into his and squeezed, nervous for our three missing family members. I turned to Carl, whispering, "What are the chances it's them?"

Carl scowled but said nothing else, pulling me into a hug, reassuring himself just as much as he was trying to reassure me. His cerulean eyes were focused on the conversation happening in front of him. I bit my lip nervously, wondering when I saw Bob outside by the woods was moments before he was kidnapped. If Maggie wasn’t there trying to talk me down, would I have seen Bob being kidnapped? Would we have been able to get him back? Or would it have gotten us picked off one by one?

Tyreese’s shout had me turning back to the adults.

"What are you doing?" 

"This is all connected." Sasha growled, pointing her rifle at Gabriel. "You show up, we're being watched, and now three of us are gone."

Merle’s head snapped over to the cowering priest, figuring what Sasha said made sense, and his nostrils flared. I went to say something but Merle crossed the floor faster than I could utter a word and grabbed Gabriel by the collar. "The hell are they?!"

"I... I don't…" Gabriel started to shake, beads of sweat appearing. "I don't have anything to do with this."

Merle growled and raised his braced arm to punch the God-fearing man before Rick stopped him with a shout. "Wait!"

Rosita joined in, walking up to Merle and pushing in his chest. "Don't!"

Merle just evaluated the latina in front of him, the gears in his head moving on how to handle Rosita. He clearly wasn’t pleased at being stopped. Especially by someone who he didn’t know. Before Merle said or did anything, Abraham was next to her, silently daring Merle to pick up where they left off. Glenn caught on to what was going on and stepped between the two men, on the off chance he did need to break up a fight.

Tyreese walked up to his sister, hands out to placate her. "Sasha, put it away." Tyreese stepped between Sasha and Gabriel who was still in Merle’s clutches. Tyreese grabbed onto the muzzle of the rifle, ignoring the glare Sasha threw his way. "Who's out there?"

"I-- I don't have anything…" Gabriel's blown eyes shifted between Merle and Tyreese, "to do with this."

Rick wasn't believing it. He placed Judith in the box that had been found to keep her safely in place before he slowly stalked up to Gabriel and stared him dead in the eye. "Where are our people?"

"I don't have anything to--"

"Where are our people?!" Rick roared in his face, the dark look coming back once again. From the corner of my eye, I saw Judith in the little box, watching the chaos happening right before her eyes. Carl let go of me to stand by Judith to be safe, even though Michonne had taken her stance between the enraged mob growing in the small chapel and the defenseless infant. 

Gabriel was sobbing, beads of sweat fully formed on his forehead. "Please, I don't have anything to do with this. I--"

"Why'd you bring us here?" Sasha demanded to know from where she stood. Eyes blazing with fury. Tyreese finally managed to get the gun away and handed it to Maggie, eyes never leaving an enraged Sasha to ensure she wouldn’t do anything drastic.

Gabriel tried again but Merle tossed him on the floor, body slamming hard enough to echo on the wooden floor, and I flinched. A quick memory flashed before my eyes. The memory as I cried just as hard as Gabriel was right now, trying to crawl away from an enraged man myself.

"Stop it," I begged. My voice drowned out from Gabriel's louder cries.

Gabriel backed away, towards the podium, sobbing. "Please, I--"

"You working with someone?" The cold fury Rick was filled with came out in that question.

I couldn't take my eyes off of Gabriel.

This is how I looked like to the man from the bookstore. 

Pleading. Crying. Thrown around. Kicked down.

"Stop it," I tried louder, almost shaking with the memory. None of them stopped but only Carl heard me. Carl started to come back, seeing that Judith was safe where she was, brows furrowing with worry. He immediately saw me shaking in my spot and wrapped his arms around me again, calling out to Rick. He didn’t hear him. Rick was too focused on his task of bringing back our missing family.

"I'm alone. I'm alone. I was always alone." Gabriel chanted as he curled into a ball, tears falling.

"What about the woman in the food bank, Gabriel?" Sasha yelled at him. "What did you do to her? 'You'll burn for this.' That was for you. Why?!" 

My eyes never left the cowering form of Gabriel and Carl only tightened the grip he had on me, trying to keep me focused on the now, not knowing my struggle. Tyreese was holding Sasha back and Merle waited for Rick to say the word. Any word to end Gabriel where he laid.

"Stop it!" I shouted louder, clinging onto Carl, heart pounding as loudly as my head was. A few heads turned my way this time but Sasha and Rick were so hell bent on getting answers, I was ignored.

Maggie handed Glenn the rifle Tyreese got off of Sasha, seeing that something was clearly wrong, and started walking over to me worriedly. “Cielo, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Maggie looked over at Carl as if he had the answer but Carl only shook his head in denial. 

“That’s what the man did to me.” I told her, knowing she would know who I was talking about. “He just picked me up and threw me around. Yelling at me to tell him where to find all of you.” I held myself tighter to Carl as the fear from the nightmare from earlier today came back at full force. 

"What are you gonna burn for, Gabriel?" Sasha kept needling Gabriel, the anger leaking in her words, getting louder each time she asked. “What? What did you do? What did you do?!”

I was shaking harder at Sasha’s yelling and hid my face into Carl’s chest, not wanting to see any of it. I didn’t want to see Merle picking him up or to toss him around more. I didn’t want to see when Gabriel was going to be hit. I didn’t want to see any of it. I lived it. I don’t want to see more of it.

Gabriel broke. “I lock the doors at night. I always lock the doors at night. I always lock the doors at night. I always--” He kept repeating tearfully. Not hearing him scream or shout from pain, I gathered the courage to look. Gabriel was looking up at the two men that were towering over him with scowls and deathly stares. “They started coming, my congregation. Atlanta was bombed the night before and they were scared. They were-- they were looking for a safe place, a place where they felt safe.”

I didn’t move away from Carl, listening to his beating heart instead as Maggie tried to get my attention again, trying my best to not listen and failing at doing so. Gabriel turned to look at Sasha. “And it was so early. It was so early. And the doors were still locked. You see... it was my choice. There were so many of them and they were trying to pry the shutters and banging on the sidings, screaming at me. And so the dead came for them. Women... children. Entire families calling my name as they were torn apart, begging me for mercy.” 

Gabriel turned to look at me. “We both heard the screams but I was at fault for mine.” He shook his head at me sadly, “I had time and I chose to ignore them.” 

Maggie stopped trying to get my attention as she stared at Gabriel in horror. Gabriel didn’t say anything else but the sobs renewed, rubbing the palm of his hand into his eyes. “They were begging me for mercy. Damning me to hell. I buried their bones. I buried it all.” 

Then he looked at the others with his eyes filled with guilt and pain. “The Lord sent you here to finally punish me. I'm damned.” He looked away from us and at the floor. “I always lock the doors. I always lock the doors.”

Nobody moved. Everyone was transfixed on the confession Gabriel had given us and were frozen in their spots, absorbing what they heard. I slowly pulled myself away from Carl, not as terrified as I was with the quick flashback now that everything that paralleled it was gone. No one was yelling. No one was getting thrown around. 

It was okay.

Finally, Rick looked over to see what Carl was calling him about and frowned seeing how I was still shaking. "Cielo?"

That got Merle’s attention. His disgusted gaze on Gabriel shifted to a concerned one looking my way. "Bambi?"

"I'm okay now." I muttered quietly. Loud enough for it to be heard over Gabriel's cries but barely. I held myself together, reminding myself that I was here, and with people I trust. The bad man wasn't here with me.

He was gone.

"You guys were scaring her." Carl explained with frustration lacing his words. I felt Maggie’s fingers weave through my hair, the feel calming me down more as she pulled me into her chest, letting me listen to her heart.

"She’s shaking like a leaf." Maggie added, gently working through the knots she ran across. 

Merle took a hesitant step forward, gauging my reaction as he did, "Ya alright?"

I looked over at Gabriel who was still hunched over by the podium, crying. "What you guys did, he did to me."

"Who did what to you?" Rosita asked, still not fully aware of the incident I had two years ago.

"The man from the bookstore." I told her, grasping a handful of Maggie's shirt in one hand. "He threw me into the bookshelves and kept yelling at me. Hitting me. Before he stabbed me."

Rosita's face paled and looked over at Glenn, silently asking him if it was true, if that’s what happened to me. Maggie took her fingers out from my hair and started to rub my back, words leaving in a soothing tone. "He isn't here anymore. Daryl said he can't hurt you anymore and Daryl doesn't lie to you."

"I know it's just- I saw what was me from the outside…" I trailed off, twisting the ring on my finger as I curled further into her chest. "Don’t know if that makes sense."

"No," Rick answered a bit remorsefully, "it does."

"At that point, I really thought you all left me to die." My lips quivered but I bit them back, shyly looking up at Rick and the others on the other side of the chapel. They all looked shocked at what I said.

"No." The authoritative tone that left Glenn surprised some. "We weren't going to leave you behind. Not in a thousand years."

Glenn shuffled closer to the three of us, face full of determination. "What Daryl said was right. If for whatever reason he can't save you, you have me, Rick, and Merle."

Glenn just proved Daryl’s point earlier that day before. If he wasn't around they would take care of me till he is back…

Like right now…

He wasn't here…

Because something happened…

Like Bob and Carol. He's gone.

He’s gone and he might never come back.

My chest tightened and I tried to talk like a normal person but I couldn’t stop the wail that left me. "Like now be-because he's somewhere out there."

Everyone blurred from the tears that started to build in my eyes and Maggie held me tighter. "Don't cry," Carl tried comforting me. "Daryl will be back. You'll see."

A blurred Merle came up and knelt down to be eye level with me. "C'mon, now," he flicked the tip of my nose, "quit the waterworks. We've been through this."

I sniffed and wiped away the tears to see Merle better. He had a confident grin plastered on his face. "Only thing that can kill a Dixon is a Dixon. Daryl ain't planning to die."

I frowned, bottom lip still quivering. "No one plans on dying. It just happens."

"Nah," Merle jutted his chin out, "us Dixon men let the world know how we plan on going out." His grin widened and gave me a toothy one. "If it's my time, ya Uncle Merle is going out with a bang."

I striked quickly and punched his shoulder, glaring at him. "Don't say things like that."

He chuckled, "Just sayin' how it is. But I can promise ya that it ain't gonna be any time soon." Merle leaned back onto his heels. 'What kind of a girly punch was that?" He tilted his head at me. "I gotta make sure ya can land a good one."

"Promise?" I narrowed my eyes on him. If I did bad he can't do anything dumb to get himself killed.

"Promise. Ain't gonna let ya go around giving love taps." He scoffed.

I raised a pinkie out and pulled a page from Molly's book, still sniffing with a stuffed nose. "Pinkie promise, cross your heart?"

He rolled his eyes and locked his giant pinkie with mine. "Cross my heart."

I nodded, sternly looking at Merle. "Good."

A chuckle rang out behind Merle and the Dixon tensed up, glaring over his shoulder to see the red head smiling over at us. "Got a problem, Red?" He snarled, not liking someone who wasn't in our group to see him with his guard down.

"No," Abraham shook his head, "just remembering how my little girl did the same, is all." Abraham spared a look my way, a bit lost in his thoughts. "Break that pinkie promise and she would find a way to make sure I would regret it."

Merle slightly deflated but wasn't exactly pleased he was seen being sweet. Seeing him ready to say something that will likely start a fight, I let go of Maggie and quickly gave Merle a kiss on the cheek. "My favorite Grizzly."

Merle spluttered and I giggled at his reaction, trying to push the idea of Daryl possibly being dead to the back of my head. I needed to keep this Dixon alive before his own words got him killed. He glared at me and I wrapped my arms around the one with the metal brace. "I'll find some more wood nettle if they pick on ya."

Merle’s glare softened up and a smirk plastered itself on his face. Maggie groaned, "She's starting to sound like you."

"To think she didn't like you a year ago, Merle." Rick taunted the man.

"That is completely illogical." Eugene frowned at Rick. "Merle is her uncle and from my observations Daryl and Merle clearly interact with one another. She had to have met Merle days after being born."

"Cielo isn't Daryl’s actual kid." Glenn slightly winced as he said it, unsure if I would cause a fuss or Merle would.

"We all meet Cielo on the farm. She was hiding in the tall grass out in the fields after surviving about a week on her own." Rick smiled at the memory.

"Daryl took on the father figure," Maggie added.

Abraham frowned, "So where's her mom?"

"She was a walker," Carl answered him. 

"She survived a week by herself?" Tara mimed, staring at Rick with shock. 

"I climbed the trees," I threw in, spinning the ring excessively to calm myself down from another crying fit. 

"Ain’t she a little soldier," Abraham nodded my way, almost as if he was commending me on surviving on my own. 

"It's why I like the kid." Merle admitted. "She seems to handle her shit well."

I narrowed my eyes on him still sniffling from the stuffed nose I managed to work up. "I think it's because you like seeing me squirm when you're making me skin and gut the squirrels and rabbits."

Merle snickered.

"You're all insane…" Gabriel muttered to us, tear stained face appearing disgusted with all of us. 

"In this world, who is still sane?" Michonne chimed in, after listening to everything silently till now. I turned to see her sitting on a pew, staring at Gabriel like a lioness, waiting for him to make a mistake. He turned to look at her and sat up straighter, feeling the danger, eyeing the sharpened stakes of wood tied on both ends of her katanas sheath.

No one managed to say another word before a sharp whistle sounded off from outside the chapel, stopping any further conversation. The anxiety I was just starting to get rid of came back full force. They're back. And this time they're going to take more of us. I clung tighter to the arm I had a grip on, refusing to let go of Merle, staring terrified at the big white doors ahead of us. My mouth felt dry and I licked my lips to try and help get rid of the cotton feeling but it did nothing. My heart started to race again, knowing Merle would feel the force it was beating against my chest, unable to hide my fear.

They're coming for us!

Glenn was the first to move, walking up to the window by the doors. "There's something-- there's someone outside lying in the grass."

Sasha sprinted to the doors, slamming them open, uncaring if it was a trap or not. Tyreese and Rick were right behind her, not letting anyone else out of sight. It wasn’t safe to be by yourself out there and Sasha didn’t care. I whimpered as she left, her fate left me filled with uncertainty, hoping she would come back safe.

"Sasha!" Tyreese shouted as he chased her. 

Michonne quickly stood and ran towards the door, shutting it partly so whoever was hiding out there couldn't see in, but if Rick and the others needed to run for safety it was still possible. I impossibly seemed to have clung tighter to Merle’s arm as the sound of growls reached my ears, knowing what those sounds were.

Now there wasn’t just people taking us out but walkers...

"There's walkers out there!" I hissed, unsure how walkers were even close enough to the church if we weren’t overly loud or have bright lights to attract them to us. Merle maneuvered me to be by his side, alert of what he was listening to outside. My heart resembled that of a little hummingbird as all the possibilities started to form in my head. “They led the walkers here,” I whimpered, fearing for the safety of everyone outside. 

They brought the walkers.

It could be a whole herd of them and we’re gonna be locked in here for as long as they want.

We could run out of food trying to wait it out.

A whine left my throat and I rested my head on Merle’s arm, feeling the raised bumps of the teeth marks I had left a year ago, trying to calm myself down. Merle hushed me, resting his hand on the top of my head, thumb stopping before the goose egg I had on my head. “I got ya, doncha worry.”

"Oh! Bob!" Sasha exclaimed outside with relief, anything else was too quiet to reach us inside. 

I felt hope fill me through the fear. If Bob was out there then Daryl and Carol had to be nearby. I let go of Merle’s arm and started to walk towards the window Glenn looked out of just as rapid gunfire echoed in the quiet of the night. Merle snapped up from where he was on the floor and snatchedme away from the windows, dragging me further into the chapel.

"Get inside! Go!" Rick's yell clearly heard from in here. 

Tyreese and Sasha were the first in. Tyreese was carrying an unconscious Bob into the chapel. Michonne and Abraham were guarding the door just as Rick came inside, slamming the door behind him. I felt cold looking at Rick. His eyes were darting all over the place, panting for air, clearly overwhelmed by what happened.

The back of my shirt was gently tugged back and I took two steps without a complaint before leaning against a leg. I hugged myself again and looked over at Bob, eyes scanning him for any cuts or bruises, but I immediately zeroed in on his leg.

Or what was missing of it.

"It's them, isn't it?" I asked Rick, knowing the answer deep down as the cold seeped into my bones. "They're back."

Rick growled and slammed a fist into the door behind him. He said nothing for the moment but looked at Michonne next to him. "Get the keys and lock up the door." She nodded before focusing her gaze on Gabriel, stalking over to him with a fierce expression. Gabriel looked like he was ready to run but there was nowhere to go.

Gabriel didn’t say a word when she stood in front of him. His hands shook as he handed her the keys but Rick seemed to snap out of his thoughts. "Any other way in and out besides those doors?" He started to stalk up to Gabriel himself but the recently tormented man quickly answered before Rick came close to him.

"No, those are the only doors in and out of the church." He stammered, backing up the stairs two steps before stopping all together.

"What do we do, Officer?" Merle asked Rick above my head.

"For now, we brace the doors. Use whatever is in here to block the entrance." Rick ordered, looking around the chapel.

I looked at the pews behind Bob. Poor Gabriel is going to have his church torn apart.


	51. Illusions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! Here is Monday's weekly update, before work, so you can all enjoy!
> 
> Thank you for comments and kudos, I learn as I go.

I counted the arrows I had left in my quiver, frowning when there were only seven left. The handgun I was given only had three bullets left in them, so each shot had to count. Until we had the chance to find more ammo I would have to do with what I got. The others were going to need the ammo more than I would. I know they won’t have me near any of the chaos but things happen. I nervously bit my lip knowing what I had wouldn't be much to use but it was all I had for now. If worse comes to worse, I still have my little knife in my boot if they decide to come into the church. I looked over at Bob once more, seeing Sasha worriedly tending to him with a wet washcloth to keep him cool from the fever he was breaking out in, still unconscious. His entire body was shaking from the fever, sweating bullets, and soft groans escaping him on occasion.

My hair was flipped over in front of me and I growled, pushing the curls aside, glaring at the culprit behind me. Merle was solemnly looking at me, "Nothin’ ya can do. Don't start overthinking about what ya can't control."

My glare softened and I sighed, "I hate feeling useless. Y’all are always doing something and I'm here just twiddling my thumbs, even if it's something easy."

"Ya almost got kidnapped n’ ya still upset about not helping us when it's more dangerous?" Merle laughed in disbelief.

"Definitely not happening." Michonne sighed, taking a seat nearby with exhaustion written across her face. The way how this day was turning out was mentally draining everyone around me and for Michonne to express it said just how far she’s at her wit’s end.

"I'm not saying about runs." I defended myself. "I'm talking about going out to hunt. Foraging for those plants in that book we can eat." Merle rolled his eyes and I scowled at him. Michonne stayed silent, not saying anything as she figured Merle could reel me in.

"I can climb trees to get away." I poked his side. "You didn't think to look up when I was running from you and not everyone can track either." 

Michonne grinned at that quip but Merle wasn’t looking her way to see it. The next gaze he gave me was more analytical than the one from before. He shook his head after thinking things through, taking a seat next to me on the pew I sat on, "Kyle was a shit shooter. Ya got lucky then."

"Made him lose any eye, didn't I?" I pressed.

Michonne raised a brow at that detail but kept quiet, observing the conversation instead. Merle’s blue eyes narrowed in on me for a second, nearly losing his patience before he sighed, taking a moment before he said or did anything.

He crossed his arms, "Still got that slingshot?"

I bit the inside of my cheek, knowing well enough that I left behind the slingshot for the second time. "No…" Came the dejected reply. 

Merle snorted, "Then ya sure as hell ain't wandering on yer own."

"Merle," I whined, pouting as I rested my head on his shoulder, eyes begging at him for me. Michonne lightly laughed at me, shaking her head, turning her head away to focus on something else as she figured the case closed.

Merle went to scold me when a louder groan escaped Bob. Both our heads turned at Sasha’s gasp, her lips quivering before they turned into a smile, lovingly caressing one of his cheeks. "Hey…"

Bob smiled at the tender welcome Sasha gave him and he returned a pain filled one of his own, "Hey there, aren't you a sight for sore eyes." He joked and she let out a short bitter laugh.

Nearly everyone crowded closer to Bob but Merle and I stayed put. We already had a good view of Bob and could hear him just fine without needing to crowd into his personal space. 

Which, coming from me, says a lot.

"What happened?" Rick questioned, passing a fussing Judith over to Carl.

Bob had a far away look, "I was outside trying to get some fresh air and I heard something strange. When I turned around everything went dark." He grunted as he sat up a little, "Sure as hell got hit in the head pretty good."

"Now you're the one with the worst headache." I jabbed at him, trying to keep it lighthearted and he let out a low laugh.

"Yeah, I am," He agreed.

Rick frowned, not exactly pleased with me trying to make a joke at the moment but said nothing of it as it helped center Bob. "Do you remember where you were?"

Bob's sweaty brow furrowed. "I was in the graveyard. I woke up outside this place. It looked like a school." Eyes widening, he turned to look at Rick. "It was that guy, Gareth. And five other ones."

I leaned further against Merle feeling both nervous and scared at the confirmation. If they were back, they would want to finish what was started in that slaughterhouse. Carol and Daryl might be in their clutches too. And look at Bob! 

They clearly ate his leg!

What if they started with them first?

Bob let out a shaky sob. "They were eating my leg right in front of me. Like it was nothing." His mouth twisted, staring off into the distance. "All proud like they had it all figured out."

"Did they have Daryl and Carol?" Michonne asked the next important question. Everyone -or at least Merle and I- held onto their breaths waiting for the answer. If they do have Carol and Daryl then it wouldn't exactly be comforting news. That would just mean we had to figure out where they were before something happened to either one. A chill ran up and down my spine at the thought.

If it hasn't already…

"Gareth said they drove off." He groaned and leant back down on the pew. 

I felt Merle relax, not realizing he had tensed up to begin with. Or maybe I was just as tightly strung as Merle was regarding their safety and took a sigh of relief with him. Gareth didn’t have Carol or Daryl. That was the important part. Now the question was where did they drive off?

Sasha turned to Rosita. "He's in pain. Do we have anything?"

Rosita nodded, pointing a thumb behind her, "I think there are pill packets in the first aid kit." She went to move when Bob reached out in Rosita's direction.

"Yeah. Save 'em." Sasha turned to Bob confused as to why he even said that. She went to argue but Bob winced as he reached down and pulled up his shirt, a fresh bite clear as day. "No. Really."

Sasha shook her head in denial but Bob, ever the optimist, smiled at Sasha, silently communicating the 'good' out of this. "It happened at the food bank." He explained to her softly. Sasha's eyes started to flood with tears and he reached out to caress her cheek himself. "It's okay."

No one knew what to say. Tyreese reached out and placed both hands on Sasha's shoulders, giving her some emotional support, knowing what Sasha was feeling. Bob gave a grateful smile at Tyreese while Sasha did her best to hold it together in front of us. Maggie was breaking into tears herself and reached out for Glenn more than likely imaging herself in Sasha's spot. Glenn let her grab onto his hand without complaint, giving a kiss to the back of her hand, returning the sentiment. Everyone else just seemed to have added weight to their shoulders at Bob’s announcement that he was bit. Gabriel shifted some in his spot, looking on as we were already mourning a life lost, feeling out of place.

"There's a sofa in my office. I know it's not much, but…" Gabriel offered, standing far off from the group that surrounded Bob. 

I looked on amazed.

Gabriel was on the verge of being pummeled to the ground by Merle. Had both Rick and Sasha interrogate him. If I knew Rick well enough he more than likely threatened Gabriel when I wasn't looking. He even said that we were God's punishment for him for letting all those families die.

Yet, there he was offering us to give Bob a more comfortable place to spend his last moments.

"Thank you." Sasha uttered to Gabriel, slightly ashamed of her actions herself.

"I got him." Tyreese told us, reaching for the doomed man once more. The only sounds were Judith fussing in Carl's arms and the painful moans of Bob as they began to move him. The knowledge of Bob's fate soured the mood after finally getting back a missing member of our little gang.

Seeing Bob was being tended to, Rick turned to Gabriel, purely business. "Do you know the place Bob was talking about?"

Gabriel looked at Rick for a moment with a scowl.

Maybe he wasn't as forgiving as I was thinking….

Gabriel sighed and reluctantly answered. "It's an elementary school. It's close."

Abraham, not liking being on the sidelines, jumped in to question the shorter man himself. "How close?"

Once again, Gabriel didn't answer right away. 

I sighed. If Gabriel didn't figure it out just a few minutes ago, Rick wouldn't let him stay quiet on the topic. Merle would be more than happy to assist Rick. I knew that Merle had his tendencies of being a jerk to anyone who clearly had a different nationality. Calling Glenn 'Chinaman' back at the prison was a dead giveaway. He definitely toned it down with me around. Pretty sure it was one of the talks Daryl had with Merle back in the beginning but Merle or Daryl never told me what was said. 

That moment with Rosita was the most recent flare up but I know that's because he doesn’t respect her. Partly because Rosita was a woman and also because he doesn't know what she's capable of. As much as I would like to think Merle changed, he can't change that much.

He has gotten better on the respecting woman part.

Sorta.

Carol somehow earned his respect after seeing her refuse to back down to him. Personally, I never saw Carol as anything other than a loving lady who cared for others. Then there is Michonne. He gives Michonne the respect she's due and doesn’t outright question things she says. He hasn't called her a 'Nubian Queen' anymore but I have heard him shout how the 'Queen has returned' when he watched the gates upon her hunt for the Governor. 

Once he sees Rosita can kick ass, he'll reel it in.

Small victories...

"How close, Gabriel?" Rick repeated Abraham’s question. Rick's face was turned away from me but Gabriel had to have seen something as he answered immediately. It had to have been the dark look he had given Gareth back at the slaughterhouse. A look I had never seen on Rick’s face till then and it didn’t look human with the dark stare his eyes gave.

"It's just a ten minute walk through the woods from here, due south of the graveyard."

Rick nodded at the information and Judith’s complaints broke into cry in Carl's arms. "Shh, shh, shh." Carl bounced her, trying to calm her down again. I winced at the shrill cry leaving Judith. The dull ache that was my head started to worsen with Judith’s little battle cry over there. 

How can something so tiny be so loud?

"Says one small hellraiser to the other." Merle snorted.

I blinked up at the amused Dixon. "I said that out loud?"

"Yes, you did. Clear as day." Eugene confirmed, solemnly nodding his head.

I shrugged bashfully at Rick and Carl who were eyeing me for the irony. What else can I say? 

Tyreese was the only one to come out of the office, closing the door behind him with a click. He sighed as he walked over to the nearest pew and sat down, taking off the beanie that never seemed to leave his head as he rubbed the short hair underneath it. 

Maggie was the brave one to ask. “Does he have a fever?”

“He's just warm.” Tyreese responded, holding onto a form of hope that the fever wouldn’t come soon.

But I knew he already had a fever. Herschel and Dr. S explained common signs of an oncoming fever. Bob was already breaking into a sweat and the fact Sasha was trying to make him feel comfortable with a cool washcloth just added to the hard truth. Bob was slowly turning into a walker.

“Jim lasted almost two days before we left him.” Glenn told us, as if we all knew who Jim was. Considering I didn’t, he had to be someone they knew before the farm. 

“Time for a reality check.” Abraham announced, looking around. “We all need to leave for DC right now.” 

“Daryl and Carol are gonna be back.” Rick disclosed to Abraham, a determined look coming over his face as he looked at Abraham. Watching the both of them reminded me of my cousin Gabriel and George playing some wild west themed game. Both of them staring the other down before they would start shooting each other with their Nerf guns or water guns.

“We're not going anywhere without them.” Glenn backed up Rick, pulling away from Maggie a little in case he needed to step in again.

“I respect that, but there's a clear threat here to Eugene. I need to extract his ass before things get any uglier. So if y'all won't come, good luck to you. We'll go our separate ways.” Abraham was so nonchalant about saying goodbye that I wasn’t completely surprised. He barely showed emotion when talking about those he lost along the way in his group. Why would another group he wasn’t a part of bother him.

“You leaving on foot?” Rick tilted his body toward him. It looked like Rick was daring him to do something but I wasn’t sure what it even was about. 

“We fixed that damn bus ourselves.” Abraham challenged, starting to edge closer to Rick, readying himself for a fight. My eyes widened, realizing exactly what Rick was daring him to say. He was giving Abraham a chance to think things through but from what I was seeing from Abraham- and from Merle on occasion- brains were not exactly a requirement for the army. Brawn was. I nearly jumped in shock as the other veteran’s whole body shot up like lightning. 

“My ass ya did. I was under the hood of that bus just as much-if not  _ more _ -than ya!” Merle shouted at Abraham, feet pounding against the wooden floor hard enough to shake the floorboards underneath him as he got close to Abraham himself. Michonne laid a hand on my head, silently telling me to stay put as she warily took in what happened in front of her, ready to strike if needed. 

From across the chapel, I met Maggie’s eyes and they were telling me to stay put as well and not to get involved. Glenn was looking on a bit more anxiously than I was. It looked like there were gears turning in his head on how to handle the situation and seeing as he knew Abraham the best amongst us, he probably could. I took another look at Merle and saw his nostrils flared, similar to that of a charging bull.

Merle really wanted to fight Abraham...

“There are a lot more of us.” Rick threatened Abraham, not even trying to be subtle about it. 

“You want to keep it that way? You should come.” Abraham countered, not caring for Rick’s threat. Abraham was far more focused on Merle. It seemed that he knew even with Merle being one handed, he wasn’t an opponent to underestimate.

“Carol saved your life.” Rick paused before continuing to make it sink into his head. “ _ We _ saved your life.” 

Rick switched tactics, trying to not just persuade Abraham, but to guilt him into staying. I wrinkled my nose at that. Even I knew Abraham wasn’t the kind of person to let guilt win him over. Especially after a threat. The man only cared about getting Eugene to DC. Just like Merle only really cared about Daryl and he only tolerates the rest of us because we mean something to Daryl. Or in Rick’s case, Carl and Judith were his top priority and he cares for the rest of us after them. 

“Well, I am trying to save yours. Save everyone's.” Was Abraham’s rebuttal.

“We're not going anywhere without our people.” Rick stressed once more to Abraham, nearly getting into the man’s face about it. 

“ _ Your _ people took  _ off _ .” Abraham squared off, speaking far too calmly.

“They're coming back.” Rick tersely replied, seeming to dare the taller man to do something about it.

“They wouldn’t just leave without a good reason!” I shouted, ignoring Michonne as she tried to shush me. "Dad and Carol wouldn't just leave to leave."

I was ignored anyway.

Glenn decided to step in as the tension between the three men was rising. Abraham scoffed and looked at both men standing in front of him.

“To what, picked-over bones?! You're not taking-" Glenn reached between the men and started to push Abraham away. Abraham’s eyes flashed over to Glenn and smacked his hand away with a stern look. "- Do  _ not _ lay hands!” 

“Abraham! Hey, hey, stop! Now!” Glenn took his hand away from the wound up ex-sergeant. He looked back and forth between Abraham and Rick and Merle. His body had to be filled with adrenaline to keep up with at least two heavy hitters between him. 

Rick took a deep breath and narrowed his eyes at Abraham. “Do you really think that you're gonna be any safer leaving right now in the middle of the night?”

Abraham gave a clipped response.“Yeah.” 

I rolled my eyes and looked around the room, thinking, seeing that Michonne had left my side to help Glenn if need be. 

“Yeah,” Rick mocked him, knowing the answer was a bluff. 

I walked over to the podium Gabriel was cowering in front of before, wondering what I could do to make Abraham stay put. I scanned the small desk hidden underneath it and froze. 

"What about tomorrow?" Glenn suggested. He looked between them. "We need each other for this." Glenn pleaded.

I looked over to see Rosita and Eugene standing off to the side. Tyreese was still seated at the pew, tiredly looking on at the fighting. Tara was by Maggie. Carl had Judith in his arms still, the infant tearfully watching the argument from the safety of her brother's arms. Gabriel was not far off from me by the podium, sticking to the side nearest to that of Jesus on the cross. Michonne was doing her best to keep an eye on me but the real threat was a good two-hundred-some-pound, seven foot tall, red head in front of her.

Okay, the seven feet tall is an exaggeration but from my point of view no one can say otherwise.

Glenn persisted, "We need each other to get to DC. We can get through all of it together. I have an idea. If you stay just one more day and help, I'll go with you to DC no matter what. Okay?"

What?

I scowled at Glenn for suggesting the idea but I kept along the wall.

“Glenn and Maggie, too.” Abraham bargained.

Hell no!

“No,” Rick sternly answered. He clearly wasn’t anymore pleased with the idea of losing anyone else in our group.

“Good luck, then.” Abraham turned around and gathered his belongings, not sparing another glance at Rick. "I'm not interested in breaking up what you have here. Rosita, grab your gear.” 

“Abraham-- “ Rosita tried to talk to him, reaching out, but he cut her off.

“Now. Eugene, let's go.” He snapped his fingers at Eugene. Lifting a bag he had gotten along the trip to the store, an item fell out and rolled along the floor, back to the front. He growled at whatever the item was but slung his bag over his shoulder, following it all the same. “Eugene. Move it.”

Perfect….

“I don't want to,” Eugene pouted. Abraham stopped his trek up front and amended his path to be up to Eugene's face.

“Now,” was the command. Abraham barely looked at the man with the mullet a full second before he folded.

Eugene nodded his head, pout still there. “Okay.”

Seriously?

Situation handled and Rosita off to the side gathering their belongings. I stepped behind Eugene and grinned.

“You're not taking the bus.” Rick had that dark look on his face once more.

“Try to stop me.” Abraham’s shoulders tensed, daring Rick to swing at him.

"A-Abraham," Eugene nervously called out. "I seem to be in a situation."

Abraham rolled his eyes and looked over at Eugene. "What kind of damned situation can you get yourself into in here?"

I shrugged next to Eugene, "Me with a knife to his back. Sounds like a pretty serious situation."

All eyes landed on me next to the shaking Eugene. I sweetly smiled and looked up at Eugene. "Eugene, are you good at anatomy?"

"Ye-yes," Eugene vigorously nodded his head. “Mrs. Turner was quite stringent for the physiology of the human body.”

Smiling, I looked back at the furious Abraham. "Wanna tell good ol' Abe where the knife is pointed at?"

"Cielo," Glenn slowly shook his head, discouraging me from going through with it. 

I ignored him, keeping my attention on the man in front of me and listened to Eugene's stuttered response to my question. "Th-that is m-my kidney."

"Cielo, que estas haciendo?!" Rosita yelled at me, hand flying to the top of her head, resting on the hat.

"Confíe en mi por un momento." I rolled my eyes at her and Rosita's lips thinned. 

Abraham turned to Merle, nostrils flaring, "Tell that little girl of yours to-"

"Uncle Merle isn't the one with the knife." I reminded Abraham in the same nonchalant manner he was treating us earlier.

"Bambi," Merle locked eyes with me for a moment. He went to take a step but Rick quickly stopped Merle, analytically staring at me, and I smirked. I turned my attention back to Abraham.

"You want him alive, we make a deal. Simple as that." I shrugged, twisting my face into a quick frown, pretending to feel bad about it.

Abraham growled, pointing a finger my way, "Girl, I don't care-"

I looked at my knife pointed at Eugene's back, tilting it, making the grown man whimper. "And if I tilt it this way and push hard enough I get both his kidney  _ and _ liver." I faked a pout, "That would mean major surgery but no one here is a surgeon."

Eugene started to cry and Abraham growled, starting to pace in his spot, trying to think things through. I scrunched my nose over at Abraham. "I just have to shove the knife hard enough." I sighed, looking over Eugene. "He'll bleed out in about twenty minutes?"

"Cielo, don't!" Carl warned me, completely horrified at what I was saying.

"Cielo, sweetheart," Maggie tried slowly walking towards me but I held a hand out to her, stopping her in her tracks.

"So," I tilted my head at Abraham, "wanna make a deal?"

Abraham stopped pacing and glared furiously at me that I understood why people would do as he said. Unlucky for him, three men terrified me more than he does. One isn’t here as he currently is on some kind of self-made mission. And one of them was just looking on and holding back the second one. So I am golden.

Sighing, I tilted the knife downward, ignoring Eugene's whine, "Or, I can stab the kidney and intestines. He would live longer but," I wrinkled my nose, "he would get sepsis and it would be a more painful way to go."

"Fine!" Abraham boomed, anger lacing his words. Eugene let out a relieved sob but stayed frozen in his spot. Abraham waved me over, "Let Eugene go and we'll talk."

"Mhmm," I shook my head, "I'll let him go once the deal is made."

Abraham’s face was turning red with anger but Gabriel was the one to break the silence, horror lacing his words. "What kind of child is this?"

I went and grabbed a curl, twirling it in my fingers and gave a toothy grin over at Gabriel. "Grandpa called me a loan shark if that's what you're looking for?" 

My joke wasn't appreciated at the moment. 

"What are your terms?" Abraham growled, body shaking with fury.

"First off, you will never dare split up my family again" I growled. "Or even imply it."

"Fine," he snarled back at me without a fight.

"Secondly, you three are staying put. The bus isn't going anywhere until Dad is back with Carol."

That got more of a reaction.

"Like hell-"

"Okay," I turned to Eugene and pressed the knife a little harder into his back, making the man wail louder. Everyone shouted in shock and Abraham paled.

"Alright, alright, alright!" Abraham quickly yelled. I stopped pushing it further into Eugene's back and looked back at Abraham.

He nervously looked at Eugene, as if he was checking to see if all I did was graze him, which was impossible to see from where he was. "We'll wait here till Daryl and Carol get back. Anything else?"

"Help us with the guys from Terminus." 

Abraham slowly nodded, "No problem, just take the knife off Eugene," he begged before adding, "please."

"So, it's a deal?" I narrowed my eyes on Abraham, who suddenly deflated.

"It's a damn deal." He sighed.

"On your honor as a soldier?" I pressed.

He exploded, turning red, "Yes, damn it!"

I giggled, "Deal."

I stepped away and slapped Eugene's arm with my knife. "You're such a baby."

Merle barked out a booming laugh as I stood next to the petrified man. Glenn folded over with relief and Rosita covered her face, muttering words I couldn't hear. Abraham was furious once more, face getting darker by the second, unsure if what he was seeing was real.

He pointed at the object in my hand. "The hell is that?!"

I looked down and twirled a curl in my fingers again. "A candlestick?"

"Ya got swindled with a damn candlestick!" Merle howled and I rolled my eyes. The man thought I had a knife too. 

Glenn stood up and turned to Maggie, shaking his head as he rubbed his chest. "My heart..."

I looked over at Rick to see his eyes were sparkling in delight with a slight pout. "How did you figure out my bluff?"

He crossed his arms and smirked, "First off, you don't have a knife." He looked off to the side and bobbed his head. "At least not one long enough to get someone's kidney."

That's true. My little knife is only an inch compared to the one it was paired with.

"Secondly," Rick tapped his head, "if you could plan how to sneak into the trunk of a car, I didn’t doubt you could pull off another plan in that head of yours."

"Thank you?" I mouthed slowly. Not exactly sure if it's a good thing he already suspects me to have a scheme up my sleeve. I rubbed the brand new candlestick and winced when I felt it break in my hand.

"You knew she was bluffing?" Tyreese spluttered. Eugene shakingly walked over to a pew and sat down, clearly still horrified over the whole thing. Rosita sighed and walked over to Eugene, sending me a quick look Titi tended to give me when I misbehaved as she passed by. 

I looked over Tara's terrified shoulder and locked eyes with Gabriel. "I think I kinda broke the candle. Sorry, Gabriel…" Gabriel rubbed his face with both hands, groaning. I blinked and looked back at the cracked red wax. Was it that important?

Merle let out a long winded sigh. "Woo! That was a good laugh." He grinned over at me and waved me over. "C'mere."

I tossed the candlestick randomly and quickly made my way over, eyeing Abraham carefully as his anger was still burning through him, dark eyes following me. I leaned against Merle’s leg, semi-hiding from Abraham’s glare before I cried out at the rough cheek pinch.

"Ow, ow, ow!" I complained, confused as to what was even going on and peeked up at Merle’s stern face.

"If ya ever do that shit again, I'm gonna get real creative other than havin’ ya skinning up some squirrels. Not everyone is as nice." Merle threatened, stare icy cold. "Ya hear me?"

"Crystal," I whined, tapping his hand.

Rick did nothing other than smirk victoriously at Abraham. "Glad things were sorted."

Abraham snorted but threw the bag he held in his other hand against the wall with force. Merle let go of my cheek and I turned to look at Maggie but she pointed a finger at me, her own eyes blazing. "No, you deserved that."

I gaped and then looked over at Michonne who shook her head at me, trying her best to hide the smile trying to break out on her face, finding amusement in my punishment but not wanting to encourage my behavior. Huffing, I looked over at Rick who chuckled at me and held out a hand. I reached out and grabbed his hand, pouting over at Merle.

"At least someone understands." I emphasized, wrapping my arms around the arm connected to the hand.

"While I understand," Rick began lecturing, "Merle is right."

I gawked at that phrase leaving Rick’s mouth. Both Merle and Rick hated agreeing with the other!

He turned that fatherly gaze my way he normally gives Carl my way. "If Abraham and Rosita were other people, they could have killed you right then and there, knife to Eugene's back or not."

I pouted but said nothing. Instead, I just leaned my aching cheek against Rick's arm, glaring over at the vindicated Dixon. 

"You need to control that girl." Abraham started to rave. "Going around and pulling stunts like that will get her killed."

"Believe it or not," Michonne sighed as she leaned against the wall, "that is her under 'control'." She quoted the last bit.

"Cielo is definitely a wild card," Glenn admitted.

Abraham scoffed and looked at me once more without any of the anger he had before. He chortled, "'Loan shark' more like a con artist if you ask me."

"She's-" Rick began but Abraham cut him off, "Smart. Yeah, I'm starting to see that."

"Is Eugene okay?" Carl asked, clearly watching Rosita trying to coax him back to reality.

"I can-" I started but Merle cut me off. 

"Ya did more than enough. Man is still shitting his pants over there." 

I blinked owlishly at Merle, raising a brow. "I was going to say I could get him a cup of water but if it's going to be like that then I won't bother."

Merle’s head eerily turned slowly and he squinted at me. "Are ya sassing me right now?"

My eyes widened and I backtracked, palms beginning to sweat at the look he sent my way, feeling as if I was a mouse trapped in the cat’s path. "No, just saying," I mumbled.

Merle grunted and looked away from me. Heart pounding and eyes still wide, I looked away from Merle and over to the wall on the other side of Rick.

Definitely wasn't thinking there….

Rick’s body rumbled with the suppressed laugh. I felt a quick pat over my head before Rick started to move his arm towards Carl and Judith, silently guiding me. I let go of his arm and did as he was suggesting. 

"So," Rick announced authoritatively, "let's get to planning. We need to deal with them quickly."

"They have to know that Bob will tell him exactly where they are. They're expecting us to go there." Michonne added, looking over to Rick with any trace of amusement gone. 

"They're thinking we'll go guns ablazing to that school." Merle agreed with Michonne's assessment.

"So they'll be coming here." Abraham reluctantly contributed to the conversation, expanding on Merle’s thoughts. 

"And if you guys did then that meant Carl, Judith, and me would be here like the defenseless little lambs." I spat out, knowing how we would be left here where it would undoubtedly be safe. I got several unamused and exasperated looks.

Abraham snorted. "I wouldn't be calling you 'defenseless' or 'innocent lamb'."

"You're catching on." Merle muttered under his breath.

"I heard that," I said to Merle. He ignored me.

I felt a harsh tug backward and quickly moved my head to see who did it and regretted it instantly. Everything immediately spun upside down and right side up that I fell hard on my butt. Groaning, I quickly slammed a hand to my mouth as the burning acid was making its way up my esophagus once more. Closing my eyes, I stayed still, pointing somewhere randomly behind me. "Carl, I know that was you and when my head isn't spinning I'm gonna-" my threat went nowhere.

"And I'll just spin you around again." He countered.

"Probably not a good idea to make her head feel worse. She just managed to walk fine Carl," Rick lightly reprimanded him. 

"If I throw up I'll make sure to aim for you." I moaned as the dull headache flared up with a vengeance. A snort from behind me was the only response I got and the adults went back to planning.

"Cielo is right though," Maggie surmised. "They might try to come here knowing she is here. She would be easy to handle if all five come here."

"Gareth is smart," Glenn crossed his arms. "He will want to divide us into groups anyway. That would make things easier for the five of them to handle. Take away the strongest from the equation and you're left with the weakest ones."

It was silent for a moment as they were thinking on how to handle it. Glenn and Maggie looked at one another, as if they were waiting for one or the other to start bouncing ideas off. Abraham was likely taking the same approach Merle was mentally: How to strategically handle hostile territory. Tara looked around the room but when her eyes met mine, she quickly averted them. 

I knew Tyreese wasn't mentally in the room with us at the moment. He was likely thinking about Sasha and Bob just in the other room. Rosita couldn't help out because she was soothingly talking to Eugene, who was still in shock.

Come on, Eugene. It was a candle.

Rick started to pace and I watched him run a hand over his bearded face. Surprisingly, watching Rick pace didn't make me dizzy. I followed him till I saw him freeze on his spot, staring at whatever item on the floor that caught his attention.

Rick clapped his hands, startling everyone in the room. "We give them the illusion of leaving the church." 

"The illusion?" Abraham questioned, clearly doubting Rick. "How are we going to pretend to leave this tiny building?"

"Same way Cielo tricked all of you into thinking that candle was a knife." Rick tossed into Abraham’s face. 

"She told us she had a knife!" Abraham was ready to argue before he froze. "She told us she had a knife but we never saw the knife."

"I'm not following," Carl frowned but an excited gasp escaped Tara.

"We pretend we left!" She exclaimed, looking over at Glenn who was confused on what they were even talking about. No one was expanded on the thoughts and I chipped in as Glenn’s mouth moved to ask the question.

"So," I interrupted Glenn and circled my finger in the air, "y'all gonna run into the woods towards the elementary but really circle back?"

"Of course she gets it," Glenn muttered, slapping a hand to his thigh as he sat down, frustrated. Maggie gave him a smile and rubbed the back of his neck soothingly.

"We'll go to the elementary school, fully armed. We'll space ourselves far enough where in case they are at the school, we can end it there or on the chance they come here, we have someone run to tell us if he came to the church." Rick explained, looking at the faces in front of him. 

"You're talking about murder!" Gabriel spluttered in shock. 

"They ate Bob's leg and that's what you're worried about?" I interrupted any other rambling that would leave him. Gabriel turned to look at me and I gave him a stern look of my own. "Either we kill them or they keep us alive and eat us bit by bit. There's enough of us to keep them full for a good month or so."

The imagery startled Gabriel but if that was the only thing to work to sink in, then so be it. Tyreese didn't look any better than Gabriel. 

"Thanks for the image, Bambi," Merle retorted with a snort, "'preciate it." 

I shrugged but said nothing else as I stretched out on the floor, laying on my side. Rick ignored what I said. "Let's get to it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this...


	52. Kept his promise...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a chapter on Friday instead of Monday since I'm not sure I will this Monday as I'm celebrating my birthday this weekend and may not be sober 😅 
> 
> Thank you comments and kudos, I love seeing how you all see little Cielo and family.
> 
> Enjoy the weekend!

I watched as well as I could in the dark. Maggie suggested it was best to do everything in the dark of the night. That way, if they were looking through the windows, they couldn’t see exactly what we were up to. No one argued with trying to use the night to their advantage. As far as we knew, we had night scopes on our rifles in case we needed to shoot out in the dark. 

They didn’t. 

Rick and the others were getting themselves ready for their part of their 'illusion', I frowned as Sasha was strapping the rifle over her shoulder and walked over to her. "You sure you wanna go?"

Sasha heavily sighed and looked over at me, ready to snap, and I said something else so she wouldn't misunderstand. "What happens if you aren’t here and Bob turns? You won't be upset if you weren’t here will you?"

The glower she was giving me lightened to a sad smile, finally understanding. "I don't think I can watch Bob turn into a walker. Doing this," she looked at the rifle with an angst filled stare, "this will help. They're partly to blame for why we are even here to begin with. If they never trapped us in those carts we wouldn't be here and Bob..." 

She trailed off, bottom lip starting to tremble and I didn't push it. I just nodded, somewhat understanding what she meant. After all, I was mad at Tara for being part of the reason we had to leave the prison. If we didn't, Grandpa would still be alive.

"I get it," I sighed. "Otherwise, Tara wouldn't be so scared."

Sasha laughed, reaching out to push back a lock of hair, "From what I heard you traumatized Eugene too."

"I think he'll be scared of candlesticks more than me but time will tell." I playfully shrugged. 

"Bambi, c'mere," Merle called out.

Both Sasha and I turned to look over at him but she got up with a strained smile my way as she walked closer to the door. I cautiously looked over at the man as he leaned against what was left from one of the pews we used to barricade the door. "Last time you said that you pinched my cheek." I warily told him, eyeing him from the distance.

He snorted, "That's cause ya went and did something stupid smart."

"Well, my smart idea gave Rick his." I countered with a huff, deciding to slowly walk over to him. Merle rolled his eyes at me. Once I was in front of him, I gave myself enough distance that he couldn’t just reach out to grab me. Merle noticed the gap and raised a brow but didn’t say anything regarding it.

“Now listen,” Merle leaned forward, serious as can be, “I need ya to listen to what Carl says. Boy knows how to survive a bit differently than ya do. If ya can’t run then ya sure as hell can’t climb a tree, so yer tricks are out for the count. In case things go sideways, what he says goes till we’re back, ya hear?”

I blinked in shock.”You want me to listen to Carl, the teenage boy, and not Rosita or Tyreese, who are adults?” 

“Tyreese is on walker duty and the man is a bit soft.” I didn’t argue with that. Tyreese really was a teddy bear unless you make him mad from what I heard. “Rosita’s currently tending to the big baby with the mullet. He’s her top priority.” Merle scoffed, clearly not having much of an opinion on Eugene either. He looked at me before slowly reaching for a curl, tugging gently on it. “Carl, the baby, and ya will be top priority to each other. Forget the priest. He will only slow ya down.” 

He focused on the curl for a good minute before I spoke. “You know Carl is gonna want him to tag along.”

Merle smirked as his eyes sparkled with amusement, “And ya want the Señorita to go with ya.” Merle glanced over in the direction I last saw Rosita. “At least she can hold a gun.” He admitted.

“Promise to be back, safe and sound?” I pleaded. I didn’t like not having Daryl around and as much as I liked Glenn and Rick, they didn’t fully get me. Daryl did and the guy barely talked when I first met him. Merle is a close second. Knowing that they didn’t exactly have a good dad made me think they did stuff on their own.

I was always used to doing things on my own myself- with adult supervision of course, so it couldn’t exactly be called ‘on my own’- but I did things without someone hovering over me. I was given a task, I would do it, show it off to whoever gave me the task, then moved on with my day. It was the same with Daryl. Taught me to deal with walkers and made sure I did it right. He taught me how to track. Taught me how to shoot an arrow from my bow and how to care for it. Then Merle came along, as displeased as I was, and next thing I know he’s teaching me how to shoot with Daryl watching the lessons. It then extended to medical lessons with Herschel. At the end of it all, they made sure I was still doing ‘kid’ things with Luke, Molly, and Mika.

Then there is the issue if something happens to Merle and Daryl wasn’t here. I knew it would break Daryl’s heart.

“Hell ya always worried about me?” He scoffed, eyes rolling. 

“‘Cause I know you and you’ll do dumb stuff to get yourself killed. I like having my Uncle Merle around, ya know.” I grumbled and he just chuckled at it.

“Ain’t gonna die, promise.” He finally gave in.

“Good,” I nodded.

A sharp whistle reverberated between the four walls, the loud noise surprising me until I realized it was Rick’s signal. They were moving out. Frowning, I looked over in the dark seeing Rick ready at the door with a hammer. I raised a brow at the hammer but didn’t question it. If it’s part of Rick’s little ‘illusion’ then power to him. Not gonna stop it.

Merle gave another tug to the curl he had in his grasp before walking off, not saying another word. Seeing everyone gather by the door, I looked over everyone’s faces. Maggie and Glenn were near each other, bodies tightly wound with their nerves as they went to another battle involving cannibalistic maniacs. Their faces appeared grim in the dark. Michonne didn’t look much different but she was far more composed than either Glenn or Maggie. 

Abraham was similar to that of Merle. Closed off and emotionally preparing himself for a new battle to this little war we were in. They both silently communicated through an exchange of artillery and ammo, putting the fight they nearly had earlier today on the back burner. 

Again.

Tara was an absolute mess of nerves. She kept fidgeting and her eyes constantly moved from one face to another in front of her, likely gauging their reactions. Sasha was the complete opposite. She stood tall and ready to fight, similar to what a soldier like Merle and Abraham would do. There was no sign of her being nervous. She was ready to go as of ten minutes ago. 

Not seeing any sign of Rick, I walked over to Gabriel’s office that was hidden away in the darkness of the church, not finding him there either. If Gareth and the other Terminus residents came in, they would walk to the front of the chapel, ignoring the door at the back. I glimpsed at the unconscious Bob as I walked in -being the most noticeable of the room- passed out on the red couch, with Tyreese already next to him. A gurgle to the side had me focus on Judith in her basket, which she clearly was going to outgrow soon. Eugene had picked the corner near the door and Rosita was standing by with gun in hand. Carl still wasn’t in the office and neither was Gabriel.

I plopped nearby Judith, her eyes immediately taking me in and lifting a hand out of the basket. She definitely recognizes my face, that’s for sure. I let Judith latch onto my hand and I smiled at her. She let out a pleased babble of nonsense as she shook my hand in an up and down motion. Similar to that of a handshake but I knew she wasn’t aware of what she was doing. 

The door opened once more and saw the two missing people that were supposed to be in the room. Gabriel immediately went to a spot behind his desk, pulling out a pair of rosary beads from a cabinet as he crouched down, praying. Carl was the one to lock the door behind him and he turned around seeing me sitting by Judith. “Now we wait..” Eugene whispered.

Waiting…

I hated waiting…

A loud hammering had me jumping in surprise, trying to pin the sound, heart beginning to race at the noise. It sounded on the other side of the office wall and I finally figured out why Rick had a hammer. Make it look like he and the others are doing what they can to keep us safe. 

Even if it means trapping us in here...

The little hairs on the back of my neck raised at the thought of being closed in a building, even if it was by someone I trusted. My luck has it that being trapped in a room with no escape meant trouble for me. Trouble with the man at the bookstore. Trouble in the bus. Trouble back in the train carts. Now it only meant trouble here.

“They’re gonna show up once they leave.” I whispered to them as the hammering of the church door continued, increasing my inner fear.

“You don’t know that,” Tyreese comforted me. “They can still be at the school.”

I turned to look at Tyreese, “Everytime I get trapped something bad happens. People,” I looked over his shoulder, “or walkers.”

Tyreese strained a smile my way as Bob let out a raspy breath of air, not saying anything else, putting my comment of the dead in the back of his mind. The sounds of Rick hammering the nails to the church door ceased and the whole chapel was now filled with silence. A soft pop of a bubble had me looking down at Judith, mouth moving as if she was trying to talk to all of us herself.

Probably to say something sweet and uplifting. 

Or maybe more words filled with doom and gloom.

I gritted my teeth. 

The security of the prison was supposed to be what Judith was to grow in. What Lori wanted for her. Instead, Judith is out of those safe walls and in danger of psycho’s who want to eat us. This isn’t what Lori would have wanted. 

A quick memory of me sitting at the table eating peaches as Rick pleaded with Herschel came to mind.

This is what Rick meant by a gift or a death sentence.

Judith was the gift in this dark world we are now living in. She was the highlight of every person who came within the prison walls, seeing her gave people hope. Hope that things can be normal. It was just going to be harder than before but we would have been able to manage just fine. Instead, here we were without a secure place. Where any sound Judith makes is unknowingly a death sentence to not just us, but her as well.

This isn’t what they wanted...

I twisted the ring on my finger, trying my best to ground myself, not letting the anger fill me again because that would mean another explosion on Tara. And I said I was giving her a chance to prove herself that she really didn’t mean to harm what was left of my family. Rick was right that she wasn’t completely at fault and Tara clearly regretted what happened but I’m still angry. 

A small weight landed on my head and I looked up confused. Seeing my vision blocked by the edges of a hat, I pushed the hat away from my face to see a hatless Carl grinning down at me. “You’re too serious for an eight year old.”

I rolled my eyes, “You and I both have been through this conversation before. We’re kids who aren’t exactly kids.” I turned my gaze to the silver gun shining with the little light we had in the room. The actual adults stayed silent, unaware of what our conversation entailed, let alone understand what we felt. Carl’s grin faded as he looked at the gun in his hand.

“Yeah,” He agreed with a twist to his mouth, “but those last few weeks Dad’s been making me farm, I also learned something.”

“Like wha-?” My question died in my mouth as there were light footsteps going up the stairs to the church door. My terrified gaze met with Carl’s.

They were here.

A loud snap of a wooden frame echoed in the night, alerting the others to our visitors, my hands shaking until I formed a fist. The tension in the small room doubled as the door to the chapel slowly opened. A muffled sob escaped Eugene and Rosita clamped a hand over his mouth quickly before anything louder left him. Carl stood in front of me and Judith, raising the silver gun he had in hand, carefully listening to what was going on beyond the door.

“Well, I guess you know we're here.” Gareth called out to us a bit tauntingly. “And we know you're here. And we're armed.” 

I reached for the gun I was given and pulled it out in front of me, rubbing Judith’s knuckles with the other hand she has in her grip, trying to stop my hands from shaking long enough to grab the weapon. The hat blocked most of the light that I could have used to see, which is probably the only reason why I had it on instead of Carl right now, so I rested the gun on my leg towards the door.

“So there's really no point in hiding anymore. We've been watching you. We know who's here.” Gareth continued, his voice sounding farther away. I was amazed at how quietly they were moving through the chapel. The little hairs on the back of my neck were standing up straight, realizing Maggie might have been close to hitting the nail of them checking through the windows to see what we were up to. 

“There's Bob, unless you've put him out of his misery already.” Gareth taunted. “And Eugene. Rosita. Martin's good friend, Tyreese.” I glanced over at Tyreese to see him wince. Clearly, there was a story there. Gareth continued his list, “Carl. Our little hellion, Cielo.”

“Come on, Cielo,” Oliver’s voice taunted, “you and I are good ol’ pals just like Martin and Tyreese. Ain’t we?”

A chill ran down my spine at hearing Oliver, eyes now wide with terror, focusing on the weak door separating me from him. He was alive. He was alive and if gets a hold of me, I won’t be.

“And sweet little Judith.” Gareth finished listing us off.

Heavy breathing was the only thing that I heard in the small office with the occasional rattle of the rosary beads from Gabriel’s corner. I thought the heavy breathing was coming from me until a sharp gasp of air finally filled my lungs. I shook my head, trying to focus on making sure they wouldn’t break down this door. Readying to shoot whoever would be on the other side of that door that I didn’t trust. “It’s been a long time since we had baby back ribs.” Gareth laughed at his joke. 

“Don’t worry Cielo, I’m sure your ribs will taste just as delicious as little Judy’s. Just need some barbeque sauce and I’m sure we’re set.” Oliver tormented me.

My heart started to pound in my chest, listening to them. 

Oliver really wasn’t my fan. I’m the reason he lost two fingers. He wasn’t just going to kill me. He was going to be like the man from the bookstore. He is going to hurt me as much as he would like before he killed me. A chill went down my spine at the thought. Would that mean I would forget what he did each time I woke up too? 

If I woke up...

I hope the others circled back by now.

“Rick and the rest walked out with a lot of your guns.” Gareth surmised before an annoyed sigh left him. “Listen, we don't know where you all are, but this isn't a big place. So let's just stop this now before things get more painful than they need to be.”

I glanced over at the missing leg on Bob’s body, realizing that maybe Oliver might have other ways to make me hurt, worse than Gareth’s idea.

There was the rattling of a doorknob from the chapel and Carl raised the gun higher. My palms began to feel sweaty and Judith’s tiny hand holding onto my fingers wasn’t helping how warm I was feeling.

“Look, you're behind one of these two doors and we have more than enough firepower to take down both. Can't imagine that's what you all want.” Gareth tried to persuade us in giving in. 

Tyreese lowered his head momentarily and I saw his hand go to his mouth. Tyreese wasn’t the kind to cry this easily so the only thing that made sense was that he was saying his own silent prayers. Rosita gave Eugene a look clearly conveying to stay silent and slowly got up, moving her rifle towards the door like Carl’s.

The sound of a gun cocking echoed in the silent chapel.

“How about the priest?” Gareth called out. “Father, you help us wrap this up, we'll let you walk away from this. Just open the door and you can go. You can take the baby with you. What do you say?” Gareth bargained. I glared over at Gabriel who squeezed his eyes shut. After that confession, it wouldn’t be too far fetched if he believed Gareth’s lie.

He wasn’t going to let anyone in here stay alive and even I knew that.

Judith let out a wail and my heart jumped into my throat. Quickly thinking, I reached into the basket and pulled her out, stopping any other loud cry. It was silent but Gareth’s little quip was heard all the same. “I don't know. Maybe we'll keep the kid. I'm starting to like this girl.”

Rosita hissed out a curse as I rubbed Judith’s back, nervously staring at the door, hearing the footsteps from the people from Terminus get closer. Eugene only sobbed harder in his corner and I looked up at Carl, mouthing to him I got Judith. If anything were to happen, I’ll take her and hide as best as I can, concussed head or not.

“It's your last chance right now to tell us you're coming out.” Gareth commanded.

No one moved. I held Judith’s little head into my shoulder and warily eyed the door. Hoping the others had turned back to the church as planned. 

“Are we done?” A new voice I haven’t heard before asked Gareth.

“We'll hit the hinges.” He answered the other man.

Two loud thuds came from the other side of the door and I let out a sigh of relief when a familiar voice boomed darkly throughout the church. “Put your guns on the floor.”

"Rick, we'll fire right into that office.” Gareth sounded panicked, realizing he was the one trapped, that it was a trick. “So you lower your gun--Ah!” Gareth screamed, a loud clatter of something being dropped with his shuddering gasps of pain loud enough to be heard.

“Put your guns on the floor and kneel.” Rick ordered once more. 

“Do what he says.” Gareth defeatedly told the others with him. Soft thuds that I took to be the others with Gareth kneeling to the ground. “Martin, there's no choice here.” 

The unrecognizable voice from before was confident and disregarded what Gareth said. “Yeah, there is.” 

“Want to bet?” Abraham growled out right after Martin stated otherwise.

I looked down at Judith and put her shakily back into the basket knowing we were safe. I didn’t need to make a run for it. We were going to be okay. Once she was in, I yanked the hat off my head and started to fan myself with it, meeting Rosita’s relieved eyes across the office. Eugene stopped crying in his corner and started to take deep breaths, hands shaking worse than mine were.

Gareth was still gasping in pain before he gathered what strength he had to sound unaffected. “No point in begging, right?” He asked someone that I believed to be Rick. 

Even knowing we were safe in the office, I could feel the tension beyond the door, as if the tendrils were seeping their way through a crack in the door. Slowly, I stood up and walked to stand next to Carl, listening to everything that was happening beyond the door. 

“No,” was the monotonous reply Rick gave Gareth.

“Still,” Gareth was clearly in pain and anxious, “you could have killed us when you came in. There had to be a reason for that.

I would have rolled my eyes if I knew this wasn’t a serious moment. When he came in here he was so confident that he could come and pick us off. How he was excited to try and eat more ‘baby back ribs’ and how mine wouldn’t be much different with some barbeque sauce. Now the shoe’s on the other foot and he was scared of the unknown.

“We didn't want to waste the bullets.” Rick mocked him.

“Return the same courtesy ya showed us back there.” Merle drawled. 

“We used to help people. We saved people. Things changed. They came in and--” Gareth broke out into a groan, unable to finish his sentence. I tilted my head, interested how this ‘they’ changed things but it seemed that I never would know. Gareth continued on without finishing the last train of thought. “After that…”

After these people came along that’s when they came up with the idea to eat other people? We all waited in the room to hear the rest of the excuse of what they did and what they were doing when we arrived. Gareth spoke a bit harshly. “I know that you've been out there, but I can see it. You don't know what it is to be hungry.”

My eyes narrowed on the wooden door in front of me. Hungry? They did this because they got hungry? I was in the woods for almost three days with nothing but a slingshot and knife. Neither one was a tool to snag all the squirrels I’ve seen to eat and even then I didn’t have a way to cook it. I didn’t have food or water and for all that my stomach was gnawing on me, eating another person was never on my mind. 

“You don't have to do this.” Gareth begged. “We can walk away. And we will never cross paths again. I promise you.” 

Liar...

“But you'll cross someone's path.” Rick acknowledged. “You'd do this to anyone, right? Besides, I already made you a promise.”

I scrambled through my memory of that day, trying to remember what promise Rick had made Gareth. I was being dragged over to Oliver’s workstation but I still caught onto bits and pieces of the conversation they had before I got hit in the head. My mind went through the hazy memory before I ran across it. A small gasp left me and I saw the others turn to look at me from the corner of my eye. 

I maliciously grinned. 

Rick kept his end of the deal. 

“No!” Gareth screamed before the sounds of flesh being cut into reached my ears. 

Carl turned around and grabbed Judith in case she started to cry over the sounds of our would-be murders screaming. Tyreese got up and ran past me, opening the door to look into the chapel and froze as the screams echoed louder within the office, taking in the scene in front of him. I stood behind Tyreese, listening to the screams, similar to those from the bus what felt so long ago.

I knew I shouldn’t be happy about people being killed but what they did wasn’t right. There were countless other people before us who probably begged for their lives but they didn’t care. Showed no mercy. They eventually brought everyone they caught to that slaughterhouse and killed them with no regrets. 

Just went down the line, hitting them upside with a bat before slitting their throats.

As if the others before us were less than them.

Gareth and the others like him weren’t human anymore.

And Rick was right, if we did let them go, they would go around and do the same thing they did to Bob to another undeserving soul. If there was a kid, they would do what Clark was meant to do to me, chop off my head to make their lives easier. 

And a defenseless baby like Judith…

Finally, the screams stopped.

Tyreese backed away, a haunted expression on his face as he knelt down by Bob once more. I had a clear view of Sasha standing over the body of a man. Her face was splattered with some of the man's blood and her shirt more than likely got it’s own blood splatters. I was the first to walk out of the room, taking in the bloodbath that occurred outside the door I was hidden behind, immediately seeing the two bodies by the door.

“It could have been us.” Rick justified it to the others who were along the walls.

That’s when I realized that the ones that were standing over a dead body were mostly the ones who were pulled into the slaughterhouse. I noticed Merle standing over the body of Oliver, the hatred still burning fiercely in his eyes as he stared at the dead man below him.

“Now it ain’t.” Merle snarled, eyes not leaving Oliver’s corpse.

“Now it’s over.” I muttered mostly to myself but I’m sure someone heard it.

Rick sheathed the machete he had, with its shining red handle away, and walked towards me. He took one look at me and I took off the hat, handing it over to him so he could return it to Carl. Wordlessly, Rick did before brushing a bloody knuckle against my cheek, walking towards the office.

As he was about to enter, Gabriel was the next to come out of hiding and blanched at the scene in front of him. Sasha, seeming to realize that Rick was gone, turned to follow in a daze. I wasn’t sure if she finally realized what she had done or if she was just numb. Abraham didn’t spare another glance and was right behind Sasha as she walked into the office, likely to check in on Eugene and Rosita. Glenn, Maggie, and Tara all looked at the mangled bodies in front of them, clearly in shock or disbelief. 

Gabriel unsteadily walked forward, in front of the remaining four people, horror clearly seen on his face. “This is the Lord's house.” 

“No,” Maggie sounded as if she was ready to cry but no tears were in sight. “It's just four walls and a roof."

A deep rasp escaped one of the corpses and all of our heads turned towards the sound, trying to see which body was the one to come back as the living dead so quickly. By the time my eyes had settled on the recently turned walker, Merle slammed his boot into Oliver’s head, the dead man’s arms reaching up to grab Merle. The Dixon followed up with another two stomps before Oliver’s arms fell back to the ground, head caved in. With a quick swipe to his nose, Merle looked down at the completely dead man before spitting at him. 

Mindful of where I stepped, I made my way over to Merle, not even looking down at what used to be Oliver. I wrapped my small hand around Merle’s entire wrist, startling the man. Tilting my head, I looked up at Merle, whispering. “Ya got him.”

Merle gently pulled his wrist from my grip and pointed at the man. “He died too easy. Talkin’ bout chopping ya head off and kicking at ya…”

I wrapped my arms around his waist, practically feeling the anger in his very being seep out into the world. I kept the barbeque comments to myself, figuring he didn’t need to know that specific detail, Oliver was dead and gone for good. Merle wrapped his handless arm around my shoulders, taking what little comfort I gave him without any complaint, which surprised me but seeing as he wasn’t all there at the moment, he wasn’t aware he looked for it. “He coulda killed ya...” Merle mumbled.

“He lost two fingers for trying.” I joked, not wanting to think too much into it like he was. If I did, who's to say that I won’t have some kind of nightmare featuring Oliver and friends. It was bad enough I was finally remembering the bookstore.

Merle kept staring down, not making any move to walk away. Frowning, I looked down at Oliver’s unrecognizable corpse, wondering if the man did something else I wasn’t aware of. I squeezed Merle’s waist, doing my best on getting him away, trying to get his attention. “I’m tired.”

I was met with silence and my frown deepened, trying again. “I’m scared to sleep. Can ya stay next to me till I do?”

Merle looked down at me with a blank stare and mine danced nervously up at him, extremely worried over Merle’s reaction. He never looked so...dead.

“Let’s go,” Merle muttered and I grabbed his hand, guiding him towards the office. 

I don’t think anyone was going to sleep in the same place as corpses. 

As I turned, I saw the back of Gabriel's head as he kneeled by the cross up front, praying.


	53. Bye, Bob

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight headache but birthday weekend went well for me.
> 
> Thank you for kudos and comments! It gives me motivation to make sure this fic is up to standards.

The next morning was a bit strained. Merle was better once I dragged him away from Oliver’s corpse and he stayed by my side till sleep won me over. The others were in their own dazes as we were all packed inside the office for the night. Before I slept, everyone had their minds full of unspoken thoughts. I tried staying up with them to see what the next day would bring, but Michonne started to run her fingers through my hair to make some intricate braid that halfway in, I was nodding off by the soothing warm hands playing with my hair.

Seeing things were when I woke, there really wasn’t a plan on how to deal with what happened last night. 

Or this morning?

Tyreese argued to give all of those people a burial and the only person in agreement was Gabriel himself. The others were more than willing to just toss the bodies out in the woods, which I’m for. As soon as the topic of burial came around Sasha broke into tears as she went back to the office, where Bob was worse than the day before. His breathing had changed from a quick gasping to long raspy breaths of air that sometimes rattled. I heard Abraham mention something called a 'death's rattle' to Rosita and Tara, which sounded as ominous as it what it meant. Deep down, even if no one wanted to admit it, everyone knew Bob would be lucky to see today’s sunset. 

Watching someone slowly become a walker is worse than them being dead and coming back as one. Seeing Bob, I couldn't help but picture my Mami looking how Bob did right now, in a fever-induced state. In this case, watching the change drag on, seeing every struggling breath, the physical torment of turning into one was the absolute worst. We, the observers, are mourning someone who isn’t gone. Watching and waiting for the moment to happen. Then for the person, like Bob, there was no reprieve. At times, Bob wasn’t even  _ here. _ He would be at home with his family one second and the next muttering about enemy breaking ranks. 

It just made me think harder from two years ago. Mami wasn’t sick so that meant she had to have died immediately after leaving me in the cabin. She didn't show any signs of a fever from my memory and she was perfectly healthy- if not tired. My Mami left to get all the walkers attention and had succeeded only for her to die doing what she could to protect me. The 'how' is something I will never know…

Just like we still don’t know where Daryl and Carol exactly went.

If they were okay, they should have been back by now, depending on what even made them want to leave. Carol just found us and she was so happy to see all of us together again that I can’t see her wanting to leave us. Then Daryl wouldn’t leave simply because he cares about all of us. We are his family. Even if he didn't see us like family, he can't deny Merle as his brother. I don’t get why they would leave at all. 

“Are you okay?” Michonne asked, kneeling in front of me with a wistful smile. 

Confused, I looked up at her, wondering why she thought something was wrong when I felt a wet drop slide down my cheek. I wiped it off, realizing I was crying and shook my head. “I’m okay. Just thinking.”

Michonne gave me an exasperated look but the smile stayed in place, “You know what Daryl says about that. If you’re okay, why are you crying?”

Looking in Michonne’s searching gaze, I felt the tears fall earnestly, feeling a dam I didn't realize I tried to keep shut burst open painfully in my chest. “Watching Bob...I-” I looked down at the bloodstained floors. I sniffed, nose clogged already, “It made me think of Mami. If she died right after leaving me in the cabin or if it happened when she was coming back. Or if she got bit and didn’t come back because she didn’t want to hurt me. How I will never know. Just like we might never know why they left us.”

I didn’t need to expand on the ‘they’. 

Michonne sighed and sat in the pew next to me, pulling me into her arms, “They’ll be back. It hasn’t been a whole day yet.”

“Feels like it’s been a few days,” I muttered and she laughed, agreeing with me.

“Yesterday definitely was a lot to take in,” Michonne said softly, running a hand along the braids she finished in my hair. “Still a lot to take in.”

I nodded, “Too much to take in.”

Michonne was right. We had Gabriel’s confession, quickly followed by Tara’s, and then mine. Sometime when I was in the office, Carol and Daryl managed to walk off in the night, and then Bob was abducted. Not long after his abduction, he was brought back because he was bit. Then came the whole Abraham leaving fiasco which ended because of a candlestick. Quickly tagged along with the heart-pounding visit from our neighborhood cannibals and their execution.

“I don’t know if my head hurts because of the concussion or everything that happened.” I groaned, lightly feeling for the bump on my head, hoping it’s going down. Michonne sadly smiled at me as she comfortingly ran a hand over my arm, silently offering support.

“Hey,” Tyreese called out from the office. 

Michonne and I, the only two inside the chapel at the moment, looked over at the somber expression that was on his bearded face. Michonne gave a quick squeeze to my arm before nodding at Tyreese, understanding what he was wordlessly saying. “I’ll get the others.”

I slid off my seat, walking towards Tyreese slowly, not really wanting to say goodbye to someone who just joined our family. Someone that I was giving a hard time until just a freedom days ago after the Terminus fiasco. I stayed by the door, hearing a rattling dry cough escape the man who was on the couch, unsure if I wanted to go in. Guilt was weighing down on me. From my spot, I could see Sasha's shoulders shaking as she held onto Bob's hand, holding his hand to her cheek. Clasping my hands together, I immediately started to twist the ring on my finger. 

Tyreese laid a hand on my shoulder, making me jump in surprise, not knowing he was over my shoulder. "Need a minute?"

Biting my lip, I looked up at Tyreese and nodded a bit bashfully. He returned a soft smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, but he understood where I was coming from. "It's okay."

"Are you...telling me...our hellraiser...doesn't want to come in?" Bob struggled to get out. "Here I thought...she was going to order me to get up." Sasha let out a shuddering laugh as she looked over her shoulder at me, eyes red and swollen. 

Clenching a fist, I hid it with my other hand as I came in, faking annoyance. "You're still annoying."

Bob chuckled as I looked him over. He was ashy-pale and completely covered in sweat. I frowned seeing him struggle with so much pain but he let go of Sasha's hand, reaching over to me. I immediately walked over and grabbed onto his hand, feeling my lips wobbling as the tightness in my chest grew, knowing I couldn't keep the act much longer. "It's okay to cry." 

"All I ever do is cry," came my choked reply and Bob tightened his grip on my hand.

"You're a kid. There is only so much you  _ can _ do." His sentences were getting better but still strained. "Hey," he gently shook my hand, "in my bag I got this little book you could use."

I frowned, confused at what kind of book I can use that he had on him. He grinned, ignoring the pain he was in, "Herschel was training you to be a mini doctor, right?"

My eyes widened with the realization of what the book could have. "But what if I don't understand what it's saying?"

Bob let out a genuine laugh before he turned his head as another dry cough shook his body. Sasha and I grimaced watching him. Every jolt his body gave seemed to reflect deep in ours at the memory of doing the same within Block A. When it was over, he turned back to me, "You sure as hell are smarter than you look. You'll definitely figure it out."

"But-" I started to argue before a large hand placed itself on top of my head. Bob looked over my shoulder and gave a nod. "Merle…"

"Take care, Bob," Merle gruffly replied, nodding back at Bob, not appearing to be affected that we were losing a member of our tight-knit group. I wondered if he genuinely didn't care that we lost Bob or if he was just better at hiding these things. Dixon’s seemed to have a shield when it came to emotions, so it's possible that he did better than I did in putting up an act.

The hand on my head shifted between my shoulders and started to push me away from Bob. Looking over to argue, I realized there was a line of people waiting to say their goodbyes too. Frowning, I gave Bob's hand another squeeze, "When you see Mami and Grandpa, try not to be too annoying will ya?"

Bob chuckled before another cough stopped him, "No promises there. I'll be sure to tell her you are trouble, though."

I gave him a watery grin, "Grandpa probably told her all about it."

I let go and let Merle guide me out of the room, passing the others. Somber faces were all I saw as I walked past them. Some more teary-eyed than the other. As soon as we both got out of the room, Merle sighed, "Want a can of corn?"

I shook my head, feeling knots in my stomach over the knowledge Bob was no longer to be a part of this earth. "Not hungry right now. Maybe later."

Merle silently nodded, looking around the chapel before his eyes focused on the bloodstain that was once Oliver. Frowning, I punched his right hip, "Oliver's dead for good. He ain't coming back."

Merle snorted. "No shit, I made sure," he looked down at me with thinned lips, "now let's work on that punch because that tickled at best."

I nodded, happy to have a distraction and I think Merle was happy to have one of his own. He led me away from the door to Gabriel's office and towards the porch outside, away from the death that was occurring in that small room we slept in last night, away from the shrinking line that was paying respects to the graying man on the couch. 

Groaning, Merle’s knees popped as he sat down on the top step of the church steep stairs, pointing me to stand in front of him on the ground. I did as he asked and waited for him to say something. "Alright, make a fist and keep ya thumb out." He instructed.

I made the fist and looked to pull out the thumb I kept in my fist. Nodding, he raised his arms and made his own fist. "When ya punching, part of it is how ya stand n' how ya hold yerself to land that punch."

I mimicked how he held his arms and raised both fists. Nodding with approval, Merle scanned me quickly, "Put one foot behind ya. Like that. That leg, ya'll need to put power into the punch. Twist yer body," Merle showed me, "as ya punch out. Let's see it."

I did as he asked but it felt extremely strange as I did it. Merle pushed off the steps and stood next to me, "Watch me."

* * *

I sat by Bob's grave with Sasha, knowing she needed the emotional support and I was less likely to be pushed away. I leaned my head on her shoulder which was now clothed in Bob's medic jacket, silently staying by her. Tyreese came by with a small plate of food for the both of us but Sasha turned hers down. I took mine and nibbled on it just in case the smell of the food will make her hungry.

Sadly, it didn't work.

Seeing the sun high up in the sky, I knew we had been out here for at least four hours and she hadn't eaten or taken a sip of water. Frowning, I turned to Sasha, "Let's get in the shade for a bit and I'll get us some water."

She nodded with a daze and wordlessly got up, moving over to the tree that was close to the graves Tyreese had dug up early today with Glenn and Gabriel. I got up and wiped off as much dust as I could off of me, passing by Rick and Abraham going over a map with a marker, and headed inside to get a bottle of water. 

Stepping into the silent church, every step I took on the wooden floors echoed throughout the chapel as I neared our bags, seeing fewer than before. Pushing the little suspicious thoughts to the side, I kept on task. I pulled out the new tumbler I was given to fill with water and looked over at what was Bob's bag. I set down the tumbler and checked its pockets for the book he was telling me about. I smiled once I saw the cover of the book. 

Emergency Medicine on the Go.

I leafed through the book, seeing diagrams, bullet points, and a section to quickly diagnose possible conditions. Taking the small book and bottle, I saw both Rick and Abraham quietly talking by the bus, a bag by Abraham’s feet. Growling, I stomped over, seeing both men stop their conversation as soon as I got there. "You aren’t breaking the deal? Are you, Ford?"

Abraham lifted one hand my way, "Now before you start, I ain't the one to be separating no one from their family."

I ruminated over the words and turned my glare over to Rick, hissing at him, " _ You're _ breaking up our family?"

Rick shifted his weight to one leg, sternly looking down at me. "It's only temporary. Abraham is going with the others to scout ahead. We'll be here till Daryl and Carol are back and follow them up."

"Y'all waited till I was asleep to go over it, huh?" Anger was lacing my words but it didn’t cover the absolute fury I felt. My family was breaking up after we just lost one? When Sasha wasn't even in the mindset to even think?

I tightly clenched onto the book and tumbler in both hands, knuckles white. Rick scowled, "Cielo, I get we're your family, but as adults, we have to do what's right to keep you, Carl, and Judith alive. If that means Glenn, Maggie, and Tara-"

"She isn't family," I spat as I glared up at him.

"-to separate from us to make sure we can all be safe, then so be it."

Abraham sighed, "Kiddo, it ain't the end. We-"

I turned my furious stare to Abraham. "If anything happens to Glenn and Maggie, you won't care because they aren't Eugene. Just like the other eight people that were with you. I'm surprised Rosita is still alive. That's why I don't want any of  _ my _ family going alone with  _ you. _ " I tilted my head at the shocked man. "What was it that you said?" I pretended to think. "Oh," I turned a wide-eyed look at Abraham, "wasn't your fault. They're just  _ gone _ ."

Huffing, I glared back at a shocked Rick and briefly at a guilty faced Eugene over Abraham’s shoulder before turning on my heel back to Sasha. I didn’t get too far before Merle started to call out for me. "Bambi!"

I stopped and glowered over where the voice was coming from, seeing him at the side of the church with the others who weren't with Rick, Abraham, or Eugene by the bus. Merle was clearly not happy and I blurted out before he said anything. "I'm not sorry and won't say sorry!"

"Alright," he calmly answered me, which was surprising but I didn't let it show. "Ya said ya peace. Ain't nothing wrong with that."

Rosita was of a different opinion. "She didn't hav-"

Merle scowled over at her, "Sounds to me ya boyfriend don't got a good track record of keepin' others alive. She got every right to be worried if she'll see Peaches or her man alive again."

Rosita said nothing other than glared at him, knowing that he didn't say a lie. Abraham led them into some dangerous positions and they tended to have some form of consequences. Looking over the faces of the others with them, I lifted the tumbler, "Going to give Sasha some water." I left before I got pulled back again.

The second time heading back was easier and Sasha was still under the shade of the tree where I left her, staring off in the distance. Sitting next to her, I bumped the tumbler with her hand to bring her back to earth. She wordlessly took the container from me and I turned to the book, opening it up. 

In all technicality, I could keep reading that book Herschel gave me, as it was useful to know what we could eat on days hunting for food wouldn’t work. I was barely halfway there but learning about medicine is just as important. Without Herschel or Bob -or even Carol since Herschel taught her for a whole winter- here to help us, whatever I could learn might help.

"Is that the book Bob gave you?" Sasha asked curiously, beyond exhausted. 

"Yeah," I answered her, closing the book so she can read the cover, "it has pictures to help explain stuff but…" I trailed off.

Sasha gently ran her fingers on the side of my face, mindful of the sensitive bump to the side of my head, "You're a smart girl, you'll get it eventually." She was quiet for a moment before asking another question. "How's your head? Still hurting?"

I sighed, knowing she asked it earlier today, "It's a dull ache but I can live with it. Tried running and I can go out a bit before it makes my head feel worse."

She nodded, eyes focused on the book I had gotten from his bag. "He said you'll be fine by the end of the week at the earliest. It's already been four days."

"Just four?" I looked up at her. "Feels like it's already been a week and a half."

She choked out a bitter laugh, "It has, hasn't it."

I looked at the tumbler she was spinning in her hands. "You sure you don't want me to get you something to eat?"

She shook her head. "Don't think I can get anything down right now."

"Ya know," I leaned closer to Sasha as she looked over at me, "last time I said that, I really wasn't hungry and Carl still made me eat some icky green soup Lisa made." Sasha croaked out a laugh and I grinned, finishing up. "I almost ate the whole thing."

Sasha bit back a smile before she let it just be, sadly smiling as tears started falling from her again. "Okay, let's see if there's anything left."

We both got up and I immediately grabbed her hand, not wanting her to change her mind. "Fair warning, it's the Dixon specialty of squirrel with corn as it's side. Personally, I was hoping the snare caught a rabbit. "

She let out a short laugh as we started heading back to the church. The small smile she had quickly turned to a confused frown as we neared the church, seeing everyone outside, some with bags. I clutched onto the book and pulled it into my chest, seeing Glenn and Maggie saying their goodbyes. Sasha, probably out of it when the discussions were made last night, looked over at Tyreese. "What's going on?"

Tyreese gave me a hesitant look and I growled out, "They're leaving."

Maggie heard me and let out an exasperated sigh, "Cielo, sweetheart-"

"No," I stopped her, anger filling my belly, "you and Glenn keep each other safe. I don't wanna talk about it."

A sharp tug on my braid had me wincing in pain. Turning to see Merle scowling at me, I went to open my mouth when he pointed a finger down at me, sternly ordering, "Mind yerself."

I pouted but kept my mouth shut. He didn't reprimand me for the one before but this situation clearly was different. Maggie was going only because Glenn was. And he was going because he knew how Abraham ticked.

I didn't look at the group that was leaving. Instead, I half hid my face into Sasha's arm and the half I couldn't hide, I stared off to a patch of bushes behind the church. Crunching gravel was the only warning I got that someone walked up to me before they knelt down, bright red at the corner of my eye. "I know I ain't your favorite right now but I can promise you that I'll do everything I can to make sure they're alright." He swore.

I gripped tighter to Sasha’s hand and glared over at a solemn-faced Abraham. "I swear on my honor as a soldier and a man that they'll be in one piece when you see them again." His eyes were searching mine to see if I understood what he was saying before I nodded.

"I'll keep you to it." 

Abraham nodded back before he got up, tapping the hood of the bus as he neared the driver's seat, "Load up!"

Maggie gave me a soft smile as Glenn wrapped an arm around her waist, giving me a thumbs-up as they got inside the small bus. I sighed, glare completely gone as everyone who was meant to be there was on the bus. The engine roared to life and Sasha pulled me to the side, out of the bus's way. We all silently watched the bus get smaller as it drove off the road heading north to Washington DC. 

"How is it that you get adults to be nervous of you?" Carl muttered.

A few snorts answered Carl's question and I just turned to look at the teen who had his arms crossed. Rick was the one to answer for me. "When you can pinpoint where each organ is, as accurately as she apparently can, you think twice."

"Or feed ya some berries that can kill ya," Merle added. Rick raised a brow at that unknown fact.

"Give her a few years if you think she's scary now." Michonne grinned down at me.

Tyreese snorted turning to head inside the church, "Glad she likes me."

I rolled my eyes at their exaggerations. "Y'all making it sound like I'm some evil mastermind." I looked up at Sasha, "Let's see what's up for grabs."

Merle mumbled something too low that I didn't hear a word he said and I ignored it. I guided Sasha up the stairs and inside to see if Tyreese set her plate aside. Yet, hearing Michonne's throaty laugh made me want to turn around and see what was so funny but Sasha was a priority right now. Michonne almost never laughs out loud!

* * *

The sun was setting and I found my way back inside the chapel, laying on my belly with a candle in front of me, rereading the paragraph to understand what this book was even saying. It clearly was in English. Not the Old English from Narnia, regular English that read like gibberish. It's taking me three to six times before I get what it was even trying to say.

Frustrated, I dog-eared the corner of the book and closed it. "Seven hells, whatcha reading now?" Merle groaned from above me. 

I blinked up at Merle, seeing Rick sitting not far holding a fussy little Judith behind him. Rick had a grin that he quickly hid by kissing the crown of Judith’s head but I saw it all the same. Quickly, I grabbed onto the book just in case Merle would take it from me. "Bob gave me the pocketbook he had. It's about emergency medicine."

Merle rubbed his face hard enough I thought he was going to rip it off. He sighed, motioning for me to hand over the book, "Give it here. Let's see what's in it."

I narrowed my eyes, "Ya know, this reminds me of another book I read back at the prison where the girl Anne Frank said the Nazi's took their books and burned them because they didn't like what was in it. Ya ain't burning my books, are ya?"

Merle’s pupils were so wide they were nearly black, "The fuck kind of books were ya reading? Ya read Anne Frank?!"

I blinked in shock, "Yeah. It was supposed to be her diary and-"

"Who the fuck let her read Anne Frank? Did no one check what she was reading?" Merle yelled over at Rick, before pointing over at me, his mouth moving in shock but nothing coming out of him. Merle finally stopped trying to speak to look up at the ceiling as if praying for advice. Judith let out a small cry, startled by Merle, who in the end was shaking his head and turning away. "I need a smoke."

Blinking in surprise, I watched Merle leave the chapel before turning over to an amused Rick, "Did I break Merle?"

He let out a bellyaching laugh at my befuddled face, startling Judith one more time, except this time the baby stared up at Rick with a growing frown. A spluttered cry left her lips as Rick cooed at her, whispering comforting words to the scared baby, apologizing in between his laugh. Carl walked in with a small jar we've been reusing to feed her mashed bits of food, speeding over to his little sister. "I got the food," Carl handed it over to Rick.

Gabriel came in slightly nervous and I narrowed my eyes on that but curiosity was gnawing on me. "Hey, Gabriel, do you know who Anne Frank is?"

Gabriel's nervousness faded into confusion. "Everyone knows who she is. Why do you ask?"

"Well," I crossed my ankles and rested my chin on one hand, "I read a book saying it was her diary but isn't it just a story?"

Gabriel had a strained smile. "No, it truly happened. Anne Frank was a girl just a bit older than you during War World II."

I gaped at him, "So all that stuff really did happen?!"

"Sadly to say, it was real. If the world didn't end up the way it is, you would have come to learn about it in time." Gabriel clasped the hands in front of him as priests tended to do. A silent 'wow' escaped me, thinking back to all the horrible stuff that happened to them. To her.

Then I frowned, thinking out loud, "So the world's always been like this. They just hid it better…"

Gabriel didn't say anything about it but headed to his office with a stiff nod, "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to pray, if you can- please do not disturb me."

No one argued with the priest. Rolling onto my back, I stared up at the ceiling, mulling over the new bit of information I was given. What other bits of history did I not have the chance to learn about?

Judith’s cries calmed to sniffles as she was fed a mashed version of our dinner from earlier today. I continued to listen to the sounds in the chapel realizing it was too quiet and I didn’t like it. I was missing the sounds of Maggie and Glenn talking to each other softly, Rosita's laugh at Eugene's strange jokes, and Abraham purposely pushing Merle’s buttons and vice versa. 

Even stupid Tara's whispered conversations with Eugene…

I sighed, not liking how quiet the chapel sounded, unsure how Gabriel even did it for so long. To not talk or hear someone for all these months had to be a nightmare. As I was thinking about the quietness, a sudden loud exclamation outside startled me, heart racing. Merle's excited shout from outside had me jackknife into a sitting position, staring at the chapel doors. Confused, I sat up on my knees, ready to see what it was when Rick moved faster. He handed Judith to Carl and pointed at me, sternly ordering, "Stay here."

I grabbed the book Bob left me and blew on the candle in front of me, unsure if we were going to need the darkness building inside the church to our advantage again. Rick pulled the colt from the strap against his hip and listened through the door. A few tense seconds later, all tension seemed to have left Rick as he yanked open the door and put his gun away, walking down the steps.

Carl and I met each other's eye for a split second before we both made our way to the church doors. Carl got there first with his freakishly long legs and blocked my way. I couldn’t see past Carl since how he was holding Judith didn’t allow me to see what was going on myself. All I saw was the back of her short blonde hair. 

I heard Rick question someone past Carl, "Where's Carol?"


	54. And he's off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearly forgot to load the chapter, for some reason thought I did already, but here we are two hours past when I normally post, but still a Monday!
> 
> Thank you for kudos and comments!
> 
> This one is short but next chapter should make up for it :))

I froze.

If Rick was asking about Carol, that meant Daryl was back. 

Without her. 

I waited, stopping myself from wondering what happened to Carol before it went to worse case scenario off the bat. My mind already rattled off that she had gotten caught by a stray Terminus resident to being eaten by a walker in seconds flat. It was best not to think how a walker or person ended the woman that’s been a maternal figure to me in the last year and a half. Maybe Carol's just behind him...

"She got hit by a car…" An unknown voice answered Rick.

I'm sorry, did someone say a  _ car _ hit Carol?

Surprised at how it happened -but relieved all the same- I took a deep breath and tried to peer around Carl’s back once more with no success. Huffing, I flicked Carl's back, reminding him that I would like to see what was going on. Carl met my annoyed gaze and before I could suggest he could move over, Michonne suggested the best idea, "How about we all go inside?"

Moving to the side, I leaned against the wall by the door that was still closed shut. Carl was the first to come back in with Judith and I listened as a pair of feet walked up the steps a bit hesitant. A guy around Beth’s age came in, short tightly coiled hair, and dark skin. He nervously looked around the chapel in front of him, limping a bit, not noticing me by the door. My eyes followed him for a brief moment before more assured steps walked up the stairs, belonging to Daryl, followed by Rick, Merle, and Michonne. 

I wanted to run up and grab onto Daryl, crying how unfair it was that he left with Carol.

I also wanted to hit him over and over again for leaving with Carol in the first place.

I was so mixed in what I wanted to do that I just stayed where I was, staring at the back of his head, taking in any changes since two days ago. Compared to the rest of us who were here, Daryl was covered in dirt, grime, and definitely walker’s blood. A quick glance showed he only had a few bruises, some missing sleeves -surprise there- but nothing overly serious to worry about. Daryl’s head spun looking around the room no doubt looking for the others who left earlier today. “Where’s-?” He turned his head once more before stopping on me by the door.

“The others went scouting ahead to Washington. Told them we would meet up once you and Carol got back.” Rick informed him before turning over to the other man. “Except you’re saying she got hit by a car?”

“Y-yeah, people from Grady Memorial Hospital are using the cars from the hospital to get around town. She stepped out onto the road and-” Rick scowled at the news but he changed direction, ”-she’ll be fine. There are doctors with machines to help treat her.”

“That’s where Beth is. Saw a car with a white cross drive by. Carol and I hopped in a car and followed.” Daryl added for the poor man’s sake. He looked back over at me and I still wasn’t sure how to feel.

I’m glad to hear they left because it was an opportunity to get Beth. It meant that they didn’t just leave to leave us behind. That Daryl didn’t leave me...

“Ya found Bubbles?” Merle was surprised, sitting down at one of the few pews that weren’t torn apart in our need to secure the chapel, “I wrote her off for dead.”

“Merle,” I sighed exasperated, “stop calling Beth ‘Bubbles’. She’s not a Powerpuff girl. It’s weird.”

My voice startled the man that arrived with Daryl and I slowly approached them, eyeing the newcomer warily, not caring for the baffled look on Merle’s face. The new man was full of nervous energy and why wouldn’t he be. He is surrounded by people he doesn’t know. I turned my attention back to Daryl. He shifted, seeming to understand I wasn’t a happy camper with his sudden disappearance, but I could forgive him for it. 

Even if I still wanted to hit him for leaving…

“You left,” was the first thing out of my mouth instead of the ‘you’re back’ I had planned to say.

“Had to. Especially if we are gonna get Beth back.” Daryl pulled on the strap of his crossbow. I frowned and looked over at the guy he brought with him. 

“Who’s he?”

The guy waved, an awkward smile forming on his face. “I’m Noah, nice to meet you.”

I nodded, looking over the guy once more in the same state Daryl came in before looking back at Daryl. “I wanna be mad at you but  _ only _ because you went to get Beth, I’m not,” I pouted.

“Bambi’s been having major flare-ups with her temper,” Merle fake whispered. I bit the inside of my cheek, knowing he wanted me to lash out at him to prove the point, but I pulled the sleeves of my jacket with my thumb. 

Hard.

“Merle,” I smiled sweetly, “did you know that rashes can happen for many reasons besides allergies or wood nettle?”

The smug look on Merle’s face got wiped off as he looked me over warily. “I learned it from the book Bob gave me.” I innocently blinked up at him as he scowled over at me, realizing I was just imparting new knowledge.

“You’re Cielo, aren’t you?” Noah snapped his fingers, pointing at me with a grin. “She said you were a sweet kid but you also can be scary. Said you told some older kid that you would knock him into the middle of next week looking both ways for Sunday.”

My eyes widened at that. What has Beth been sharing?!

He looked me over before letting out a short laugh. “No offense, but you don’t look as scary as she made you sound like.”

“Boy,” Merle drawled, leaning further into his seat, “that would be yer first n’ last mistake in this world.”

Noah looked over at Merle confused but didn’t say a word. I looked over Noah’s shoulder to meet Rick’s gaze and he tilted his head towards Noah. Devilishly grinning, I briefly glanced at Noah before looking back at Rick with a slight nod. Seeing Noah wasn’t looking my way, I walked over to Daryl and grabbed his hand, not wanting the man to walk off just yet. “Hey, Noah?”

Noah looked down at me, “Yeah?”

“Where you from?” I blinked up at him.

“Uh,” he looked up at Daryl before looking back at me, “Richmond?”

“Richmond what?” I scrunched my nose, not remembering Georgia having a Richmond.

“Virginia…” He drawled, unsure of why I was asking. Michonne gave me a look over Noah’s shoulder, clearly not on board with what I was doing. I pretended not to see her and kept up the innocent questions. Best to ease my way into the more personal ones.

“That’s pretty far,” I gasped, “what are you doing here?”

Noah picked at his pants nervously, “Was looking for my Uncle with my Dad. He went out to find supplies but never came back.”

“Oh,” was the helpful reply. I didn’t get much further as Daryl squeezed my hand, silently warning me to stop. Maybe it was a sensitive topic?

“You’re gonna help us get Beth?” I squeezed Daryl’s hand back, letting him know I understood. 

Noah smiled, “Yeah, she helped me escape, so it’s only right I help her.”

I nodded, pleased with his answer. If he really was here to help us get Beth back then our little family would be complete. Michonne stepped in before I could think to ask another question. “How are we going to get her?”

“Or Carol?” Rick added.

Noah winced at that and looked over at Michonne, “Getting in will be tricky. They got the place fortified like Fort Knox. No one goes in or out without their say so.”

“So we smoke ‘em out.” Merle shrugged.

Rick nodded, agreeing silently with Merle, which once again had me concerned. Merle and Rick getting to be on the same wavelength was honestly making me nervous. Aren’t they supposed to be opposites of one another?

Rick firmly looked over at Noah, “Explain to me  _ exactly _ how this hospital is run, who is in charge, and what makes it so well guarded as ‘Fort Knox’.”

Noah nodded, “Yeah, no problem.”

Daryl tugged on my hand and I looked up, wondering what it was that he wanted. He motioned for me to follow him and I did what he asked without a complaint. Daryl then looked over at Michonne and silently raised my hand that was in his grasp before walking off, signaling to her he was gonna talk with me, to keep the others at bay. She just gave a brief nod in return, turning her attention back to the younger man that came back with Daryl, listening to Noah describe Grady Hospital. As they did, Daryl led me to a corner away from the others, turning me towards one of the front pews and I sat down, waiting to see what he wanted to know.

Daryl nodded my way before tilting his head over by Merle, “Flare-ups?”

I waved my matter aside, “I’m sure they’ll fill you in but it’s not a secret that I don’t like Tara.” That earned a scolding look and I rolled my eyes. “I promised Rick I’ll give her a chance to redeem herself, what more do ya want?”

A small smirk came onto Daryl’s face before a quick bop to the nose. “Raising hell while I was gone?”

“Well, if ya don’t want me to, don’t leave me. Especially with Merle in charge. That obviously don’t work,” I joked, shrugging with a cheeky grin.

He snorted. “Maybe I should. You’re starting to talk like him.”

I playfully glared, thinking over my words, “Am not.”

He chuckled and gently ran his fingertips over the right side of my head. “How’s the head?” 

“Better,” I replied, “Just an ache that doesn’t go away but I can live with it. I can run now but not too far ‘cause my head will really start hurting then,” I gave a half-hearted smile.

He nodded wordlessly, scanning me for any other abnormalities. “Once Bob-”

I frowned, realizing he didn’t know I cut him off. “Bob was bit on that supply run you guys did.” I looked around for Sasha, realizing that she and Tyreese weren’t in the chapel, likely talking privately in one of the other rooms. “Tyreese buried him this morning after he…”

There wasn’t any need to go into detail. Daryl knew all about this kind of stuff from before the farm from what Glenn was saying to us earlier. 

Daryl glumly nodded, turning his gaze to the floor before his brows skyrocketed underneath the long hair he had, shouting, “The hell happened here?”

Everyone stopped and looked over at Daryl who walked over to one of the large bloodstains. He inspected the floor and noticed that there were various other bloodstains scattered around where he stood. It was surprising that he had just noticed the brown-red splotches on the pine wood. For someone like Daryl to just realize meant that he was intensely focused on getting Beth back and gathering the others to form a plan immediately. 

“We had some old friends stop by,” Rick answered before adding darkly, “We returned the favor they tried to show us.”

Daryl froze where he stood momentarily before his pale face turned towards Rick. “They came here?”

Noah’s gaze widened comically at the large bloodstains on the floor that Daryl stood by. Nervously, Noah looked up at Rick, doing well to hide the fear but not the anxiousness he felt, “What kind of old friends?”

“Cannibals,” I shrugged from my seat and Noah paled, “they tried to eat us a while back.”

Merle snorted, “Try five days ago.” 

I turned my attention over to Merle, confused, ”I thought it was four days ago?”

“How are you all so calm about almost being eaten?” The pitch in Noah’s voice went up a note or two after hearing we were almost eaten by another group of people. 

“Because they’re the ones who are six feet under, not us,” Carl bluntly answered. He walked over to me with Judith, handing her over to me and I wordlessly grabbed the little girl, figuring he had something he wanted to do but needed both hands. Judith immediately grasped onto the braid Michonne had done last night and started to pull, babbling nonsense. I winced at the tugging and gently pried her hands out of my hair.

Noah nodded but his eyes were betraying that calm look he was trying to pull off. Daryl’s jaw clenched and Merle decided to add in a comment of his own. "Made sure to pay back our friend Oliver good. Both times…"

Daryl’s eyes flashed over to Merle, voice lower than before, "He was here?"

"And six feet under, like Carl said," I leaned Judith back onto my legs before pulling up the giggling baby, wanting the topic to come to an end.

Daryl glanced over at me, countryside accent sneaking in, "He even come near ya?"

I thought back to how close they were to opening the door we were hiding behind. How he was just on the other side of it, waiting. Deciding to not worry Daryl, I shook my head, avoiding to directly say yes or no. "Merle dealt with him."

Daryl looked at me for a moment but said nothing. I just kept Judith busy by pulling her back to me before lowering her head at my shins. Rick decided that since whatever conversation Daryl had with me was on hold, called him over to help plan. Daryl spared one look my way before going over. Merle already had his ear tuned in to the plans being made. 

Sighing, I looked down at a giggling Judith. “Looks like you and me are gonna be getting the short end of the stick once our Papa’s get their plan underway.”

* * *

I was right…

Everyone but Michonne, Carl, and Gabriel was leaving to get Beth. Obviously, Judith and I would never be considered to go. I mean Judith is almost a year old and I’m only eight. What other expectation is there for either one of us?

Carl honestly had a fifty-fifty chance of going but Rick pulled the ‘protect the girls’ card with him. Yeah, I still have that annoying anvil in my head but I can take care of myself a bit better than a few days ago. I can finally walk fine and I have an idea of my limits with running. That’s all I need right now.

My frown hasn’t left from the moment they were tearing apart what remained of the chapel that Gabriel called home for the last few years. Not the same reason as why Gabriel was. I was more impressed with their ingenuity on how to get organ pipes off. I just knew the second that they finished barricading this place, they would leave, and I’ll be here waiting.

Again!

It also didn’t help the anxiety I felt build up in me. They were doing it again. Trapping us in here once they left. Except this time they wouldn’t be nearby if something goes wrong. They’ll be too far away to help and the only one who was able to do something was Michonne. We were down every other useful adult that there could be. Gabriel would be no help if Michonne needed it. 

Every time I get trapped in, something bad happens, and this isn’t going to be different.

A few bits of wood were set aside but those who were boarding up the place from the outside came in, my only signal that they were leaving soon. Merle dropped some more wood by the pile that was already on the floor and immediately saw me sitting on top of the stairs by the podium with crossed arms and a frown. His heavy sigh was visible by the sudden rise and drop of his shoulders as he looked over -amused at my displeasure. He strode over, hand resting at the belt, brow raised as he came closer, “Ain’t ya a ray of sunshine?”

“You’re all leaving and Daryl is leaving...again…” I grumbled.

Both brows were raised at that point, “Oh, it’s Daryl again, huh? No more ‘daddy’?”

“He’ll always be Daddy to me no matter what but-right now-I’m mad, so he is Daryl,” I huffed. My half-hearted glare caused Merle to chuckle as he sat down next to me. 

“Ya said no matter what. Being mad means nothin’,” Merle patted the top of my head.

I pouted and pushed off the large hand that rested on my head, not having a come back for that. Merle grinned and quickly pulled on the end of my braid, “Got a surprise for ya.”

My pout erased itself as I looked on curiously to what the surprise could be. Before I could say anything, he pulled out a familiar knife I was gifted half a year ago and my eyes shone with happiness. “You found it?”

“Oliver had it on him. Wanna make sure ya ain’t completely defenseless before we leave.” He handed over the sheathed knife and I quickly placed the knife where it had rested on my hip before we ever entered Terminus. He nodded briefly before looking over at the gathering group. From the corner of my eye, I saw a familiar pair of boots and I looked up from my reclaimed knife to see Daryl biting the skin on his thumb.

He pulled his thumb away before motioning his head my way. “You gonna stay out of trouble or am I gonna hear stories coming from Michonne?”

I wrinkled my nose and pretended to look up at the ceiling. “I mean, you might get stories anyway, even if I did nothing.”

My answer was followed by a quick flick to the cheek. “Cheeky thing,” was the amused reply after the flick.

“Well, you walked into that one what that kind of question.” I retorted. Daryl shifted his weight mostly on one side as he looked at me. I looked over his shoulder to see Rick was looking our way, not impatiently, but observingly. I frowned and looked back up at Daryl. “All of you are gonna come back, right?”

“C’mon, Bambi,” Merle answered, “what kind of question is that? Course we are.”

Daryl on the other hand frowned, not showing the same bolstering confidence Merle was exuding. “We ain’t going in blind. That’s better than some places we’ve been to so far.”

Sighing, I got up and hugged Daryl around the middle, hiding my face in his stomach. “I hate it when you leave,” I mumbled into his shirt, the words muffled but likely still understood. I felt the tightness in my chest but not enough where I was going to cry. He didn’t leave yet.

Daryl wrapped one arm around my shoulders and rested his other hand on top of my head. “Hey,” he softly called and I tilted my head up, resting my chin on his belly. Daryl gave me a crooked grin, “I’ll be back before you even know it. This time with Carol and Beth.”

I pouted, not having much to say to that. I knew he was just saying things to make me feel better. Not that he wasn’t a man of his word. He does the same thing Beth accused me of back when the Governor was still around. He tries to make people feel better even if he doesn’t feel okay.

Merle stood by us and patted Daryl’s shoulder, alerting him. I peeked over to see Merle was looking at the rescue party who probably silently signaled it was time to go. Daryl didn’t say anything else but looked closely at me, running the hand over my head before gently pinching my cheek. “Gotta go, baby girl.”

I pouted but slowly let him go, “Be safe, okay?”

“I’ll watch out for him, Bambi, doncha worry,” Merle promised. 

Looking over at Merle, the tightness increased a bit and I quickly gave him a hug too. “You stay safe, too.”

“Don’t tell me ya gonna start to cry?” Merle teased, tilting my face up so he can inspect my face. I glared up at him and quickly let him go with a loud ‘hmph’, refusing to even answer that question. He smirked at me and gently flicked my nose before walking towards the others who were leaving. Watching the back of Merle’s head didn’t sit well with me as he walked down the aisle. I felt my throat tighten as if that was some ominous warning.

Quickly, I looked over at Daryl, who gave me a wry grin. “Yer close to it, ain’t ya?”

Pouting, I hugged Daryl around the middle again, hiding the small tremble of my lips. Daryl let out a nearly quiet laugh as he wrapped both arms around me this time. “Ya actin’ like we marchin’ to our death.”

I pulled away and looked up at him, tears building at the bottom of my eyelids. “I’m scared.”

The grin wiped off and was quickly replaced with a frown. “Scared of what?”

“I’m scared all of you are gonna get really hurt.” I looked to the side of me, looking at one of the boarded-up windows. “And I’m trapped in here. Every time I get trapped somewhere without all of you nearby, bad things happen.”

“Nah,” he bent down so he could be eye level with me, ”we’ll be alright. And that’s just to keep out the walkers in case a herd comes by.”

I shook my head, a tear escaping. “When the guy from the bookstore got me it was because I hid in a room. Then I was trapped on the bus with walkers until Maggie got there. There was Terminus. Then-”

“Hey, hey, hey, look at me.” Daryl cradled my head between his hands, worried blues locking onto my watery eyes. “You will be fine. We’ll be gone a day. Two tops.” His eyes searched mine to see if I would believe him before he tried again. “You got Michonne here and she's a badass with that sword. Unless she says so, nothing -and no one- is coming near you. Besides,” he rubbed the tear off with his thumb, a small smile forming on his face, “you’re a badass in training.”

A small giggle left me as I took in what he was saying to me. Michonne really wouldn’t let anything bad happen to us. And she was pretty awesome with her katana. I looked over to see Michonne look a bit worried my way, clearly seeing that Daryl was spending longer than normal to say good-bye to me and he never had to come down to my level before. Another pass of the thumb over my cheek had me look back at Daryl. 

“You’ll be fine and I’ll see you in a bit, okay?” He asked, double-checking if I really was okay.

“Promise?” I sniffed.

He pulled my head down and laid a kiss on the top of my head, surprised he did so, “Promise.”

I clasped my hands together and nodded. I was being a big baby. This isn’t the first time they all went on some kind of a mission and it won’t be the last. They did this all the time and I always stayed behind with someone who would take care of me. I had Carl to talk to and Judith to help take care of. Nothing was different but I still didn’t feel okay with it.

Daryl sighed, pulling on the strap of the crossbow, “See ya later, Bambi.”

Before he got up, I lunged and gave him another hug, hiding my face in his neck. “Love you, Daddy…”

Daryl stiffened under my arms after I muttered the words. I quickly let him go and crossed my arms across myself, biting my lip as I watched him shoot up. Daryl didn’t move for a bit, he just looked down at me and held that mask whenever he didn’t know how to react. His hair went over his eyes now, so the only clue I had was hidden away, but like all the other times before, he didn’t know how to act when he was told something that wasn’t mean.

A quick nod my way and he started to walk over to the others.

The knot that I felt in my stomach lessened a bit at the awkwardness that was Daryl Dixon and what was emotions. It made me feel like everything was going to be okay and nothing was gonna change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Invasion of Alexandria has commenced....okay, bit dramatic but I think I have my details ironed out


	55. The Creeper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a treat for Friday.
> 
> I'm going to be entering a 5-hour long exam with over 250 questions in an hour, so I figured if I'm gonna be sweating nervously for a correct answer for certification, then you can all sweat anxiously for what happened on Monday :)
> 
> Feel my pain for a bit LOL
> 
> THank you for kudos and comments, they do brighten up a long week.

A shriek shook the four walls.

The high pitched giggle echoed within the walls as Judith wiggled around, trying to escape me. Giggling myself, I blew another raspberry on Judith’s belly, the tiny human letting out another ear-piercing laugh. Deciding she had enough, I finally let her go and she rolled onto her belly before she got up on her hands and knees, crawling away. I watched Judith speed over to Gabriel who was still doing his best to scrub out the stains from the floor. 

Not wanting her to stop the man from whatever calmed him, I quickly ran over and plucked Judith from the ground, a squeal escaping her. I held her close to me and gave her a kiss on the cheek, figuring she was tired from laughing too hard, carrying her back to our side of the chapel to stay out of the others' way. 

Curious, I looked to see exactly what Michonne and Carl were even doing. 

Michonne spared a quick glance my way, smiling at me before looking back into Judith’s bag, trying to see what we were low on. From the run they did we were lucky to find some formula and actual jarred food for babies. So food-wise, Judith was set for at least three weeks until we needed to find more. So it had to be related more to switching back to the cloth diapers or if there was any powder left to make the switches dry. 

Sudden movement between the remaining pews had my answer about Carl. I watched as the teen walked over with a rolled-up tool kit that I knew held some weapons the others left behind. Feeling that things were going to go sideways, I quickly walked over to Michonne.

A loud clang of tools hit the floor and Michonne’s head snapped up to see what was going on. Judith babbled as I brought her over to Michonne, placing the quickly growing baby into the basket that we had to hold her in place. Michonne warily eyed the interaction between both Gabriel and Carl, clearly seeing what I was seeing myself. I stood by Michonne and softly grunted as I moved the basket with Judith in it in front of her, so if I wasn’t watching, she was.

“Pick one,” Carl told Gabriel, momentarily stopping the man from scrubbing at the floor. Gabriel looked at the array of weapons in front of him. There were several knives wrapped up in the tool kit along with a hatchet. One rifle, machete, and a handgun.

Instead of picking one, Gabriel chose to ignore Carl and dunked the bristle brush back into the bucket to get more suds to scrub out the blood. Carl sighed, tilting the hat back a bit more, “You need to learn how to defend yourself. We can teach you.”

A soft shout from Judith had Michonne reach over, grabbing the little arms that shot out from the basket, too riled up to stay put. Gabriel stopped what he was doing and looked up at Carl in disbelief. 

“Defend myself?” He scoffed, shaking his head before looking at the ground. “They said they'd go.”

I couldn’t stop the snort that left me. I was right to think that he would have been the one to open the door at the so-called promise to let him and Judith go. Good thing Rick got here when he did because we could have been worse off.

“They were liars and murderers,” Carl calmly rebutted, reminding the peaceful priest what they were. My eyes zeroed in on the weight shift I have seen Rick do many times before. 

“Just like us.” Gabriel smiled sarcastically, sitting back on his heels. 

I huffed, getting aggravated with the man far more easily than I normally would. The lack of fresh air circulating in the chapel only had the heat build-up and it didn’t help my souring mood. The only ones not visibly breaking out into a sweat are Judith and Michonne. 

“We protected ourselves.” Carl denied. “They wanted us dead. You're lucky your church has lasted this long.” That comment had the smile wane a bit off of Gabriel's face. “You can't stay in one place anymore. Not for too long. And once you're out there, you're gonna find trouble you can't hide from.”

Gabriel let go of the bristle brush and laid both hands on his thighs, thinking of the truth in Carl’s words. Carl tilted his head to the side, a bit too similar to how Rick would when he saw you were understanding where he was coming from. “You need to know how to fight.”

Gabriel didn’t say another word but looked over the weapons that were laid out in front of him. Seeming to focus on something, he leaned forward and reached out for the machete that I finally realized was the one I got off Clark. The machete he tried to use to cut off my head…

Feeling the same horror as when I was thrown down on the table, I leaned into Michonne, eyeing the weapon. Michonne seemed to understand what I was going through as she pulled me into her side, brushing her knuckles over my cheek comfortingly. 

Carl nodded, “Good choice. But you're not holding it right.” Carl moved a bit closer, motioning the best way to grab hold of the machete. “You've got to be able to drive it down 'cause sometimes their skulls aren't as soft and you need to be able--”

My eyes widened at Carl’s description on how to take down a walker to a man who states he has never had to physically kill someone on his own. To a man who not only was trying to erase the stains of Gareth and the others from his floors but condemns any sort of violence. A man who clearly was getting sick at the thought of cutting into the heads of walkers. 

Gabriel held up a hand and looked away. “I'm sorry,” he swallowed back what clearly was his breakfast, “No. I need to lie down.” He slowly stood up, hands still clenched onto the machete as he slowly walked over to his office. Carl didn’t stop him and we all watched as he closed the door behind him.

Carl looked over at us and sighed. I walked away from Michonne’s comforting hold and walked over to Carl, giving him the most unimpressed stare that I could muster up. His brows furrowed in confusion. “What?”

“Carl,” I sighed, shoulders drooping with the breath of air I let out, “you meant well but you kinda forgot what he thinks about all this, didn’t you?”

The look of confusion was still there and I sighed at the dense teenager. “You did the same thing when we first met Tyreese and Sasha to Gabriel. You mean well but were being insensitive about it.”

“How was what I did insensitive?” Came the defensive reply, nostrils flaring.

“Yeah,” I looked at the spot Gabriel was kneeling at before, “I know you don’t like the idea of killing but you got to get used to it. Pick a weapon and-oh,” I pointed at the imaginary man, “you’re holding it wrong. If you wanna use that to bash in a walkers head you need to know just how dead it is, kinda like the people that were killed in your church. You know, what you’re trying to scrub away?”

Turning back to Carl, I raised a brow as his face flushed with a combination of anger and embarrassment. Carl sulkily replied, “He was holding it wrong…”

“You should have let him get used to holding the machete first. See,” I poked his stomach, “mean well but a bit insensitive about it.” Carl glowered for a moment longer before he bent down and collected the weapons he laid out for Gabriel without another word. 

“Cielo,” Michonne softly called out.

I turned to look over at Michonne to see a lightly scolding look from the silent woman. “Quit picking on Carl. Like you said, he meant well, he didn’t do it to be cruel.”

“I’m not picking on him!” I whined. “I’m just saying what-”

“Cielo…” Michonne drawled out, the scolding look only deepened on Michonne’s face.

I pouted over at Carl, “You know I’m not picking on you, right?”

Carl gave me a heatless glare and carried off the rolled-up tool kit back where he found it without a word. I rolled my eyes at the dramatics that was Carl Grimes and went over to Michonne, who had a smile at our small interaction. A loud shout had the both of us look down at Judith, whose face was scrunched up, highly displeased. I sighed, “I know, your brother is such a drama queen.”

Michonne let out a low chuckle that intrigued Judith, her big brown eyes looking over at her to see what was funny. Michonne pinched my cheek between two of her knuckles, “Be nice.”

“That’s what I have to tell Merle all the time and does that ever work?” I quipped with a sly smirk. An airy chuckle left Michonne, trying her best not to be too loud and disturb Gabriel from his rest. 

“You and that sass.” Michonne shook her head, looking over at Judith. “Don’t you ever be as sassy as Cielo. You’re going to be a little angel, aren’t you?”

“Well, Sissy Cielo is gonna teach little Judy all the sass. Ain’t that right?” I cooed at Judith, who grinned up at me with her tiny teeth.

See, she agrees with me.

“Sissy?” Michonne’s surprise was clearly heard in the tone of her voice. I looked up from Judith, letting her have my fingers to entertain herself with as I saw Michonne’s shocked face.

“Well, in a way I’m the closest thing she’ll have to a sister. Carl is my best friend but he is like an annoying big brother to me too.” I focused back on Judith who was babbling softly. “I kinda wanted to have a brother or sister because it would have meant I wouldn’t be by myself all the time. In a weird way, I got exactly what I wanted.”

Michonne sighed, “Maggie is right.” I turned to her in confusion wondering what Maggie was even right about. “You are a gem.”

A laugh burst out of me at that. “Tara and Eugene might say otherwise.”

A wry smirk was thrown my way. “Well, you weren’t exactly the most welcoming to one and probably gave the other some nightmares of his own.”

Before I could say something, arms wrapped themselves around me and picked me up, “Pick on me again, I dare ya!”

The scream that nearly ripped itself from my throat stopped as I craned my head to see Carl. “Carl Grimes put me down!” I hissed at him.

“I always joked I could pick you up but I didn’t think I really could for this long…” Carl mused, icy blues sparkling with mischief at me.

“I will kick you…” I threatened, not entirely confident in him keeping hold of me for much longer. He just snickered and put me back down as I huffed in displeasure. Michonne shook her head, not saying anything, and stood up, pushing down on the sheriff’s hat on Carl’s head. 

“You two stay here and entertain Judith. I’ll go check in on Father Gabriel. See if he needs anything.”

“‘Kay.”

“Sure.”

We both answered at the same time as she headed over the office door. When Carl glanced back at me I stuck my tongue out at him, small giggles immediately after I did to the side of us. Carl rolled his eyes at me and picked up Judith, “It’s not funny. Cielo is being mean to me.” He playfully whined to Judith who just grinned at his struggle.

I couldn’t help but laugh at that. Carl kept talking to Judith in a low voice and I peered over to Michonne to see she was talking in low tones herself with Gabriel. I squinted at the barely open door to the office as Gabriel only stuck his head out to speak with Michonne. I would say he was hiding something but we all have been in that office and there is nothing strange in it. Just his desk, a couch, random things to make it feel homey, and some shelves of religious books. 

Judith’s sudden loud cry snapped my attention back to her as Carl started bouncing her. “What happened?”

Carl frowned, “I think she’s getting hungry.”

I nodded and reached over to the bag Michonne was inspecting earlier, “I’ll find something for her to munch on.”

* * *

It was quiet. 

Gabriel was still resting in his office and Judith fell asleep between her full belly and the warm air inside the church. I wasn’t too far behind her in napping myself with the heat that was sucking all the energy out of me. I read some more pages of the edible plant book Herschel gave me but it only added to the heavy eyes I was fighting off. Carl and Michonne were doing better than I was.

At least when I last looked their way…

Growing snarls from outside reached my ears and I felt as if an ice-cold bucket was thrown over me. I sat up from the pew I was laying down on and listened carefully, pulling Herschel’s gift into my arms. Carl quickly walked down the pew in front of me, eyes darting nervously to me, “Get ready, just in case.”

I nodded and ran over to my backpack, stuffing the book to the side of the bag, and zipped it up before grabbing both my bow and quiver, ready to shoot any walker that manages to get past the preparations the others did earlier today. I scanned the other side of the church to see Carl had grabbed the diaper bag and Judith, who was still fast asleep to the world. Michonne started to run over to Gabriel’s office when a shout was heard.

“Please!”

Michonne froze, staring at the boarded doors to the church, listening. 

“Let me in! Please!” The desperate voice sounded exactly like Gabriel. 

I stared over at Michonne, asking, “Was that Gabriel?”

“Let me in!” Gabriel’s voice shouted from outside. “They're close! Help! They're coming!”

“That’s Gabriel,” Carl agreed, shocked that the man was outside the building. Immediate banging on the church door echoed within the chapel, waking up Judith from her nap. The building wail coming from the little girl wouldn’t make a difference with all the noise Gabriel was making in plain sight of all those walkers.

“Please don't leave me out here! Don't leave me out here!” Gabriel sobbed out. “Carl! Michonne! Cielo!”

Carl went to peek past one of the boarded windows when Michonne stopped him, grabbing her reclaimed katana. “No, stay put.” She went into another one of the rooms as we were left to hear Gabriel’s screams from the other side of the door.

“But Gabriel-” He started to argue and I interrupted him.

“Carl, you have Judith. If a walkers arm manages to break through it can grab her.” I cautioned, securing the quiver across my body instead of just over a shoulder. Carl looked down at a whimpering Judith and bounced her around, pushing her tiny head into his shoulder. 

“We can’t just leave him out there.” He argued.

“How did he even  _ get out  _ there to begin with?” I hissed back.

“I had to see it! I know now! Let me live with it! Oh, God, please.” He sobbed, banging the wooden door harder in his desperation. I wasn’t sure what it was that he had to see but he brought trouble back to us. Carl set Judith back in the basket and ran over the door, pulling at the wooden slab Michonne hammered into the doorway.

Michonne came back with a few things but the most important one was the hatchet that Carl laid out before. Michonne grabbed Judith and motioned me to help her. I held Judith onto her back as she started to swaddle her in, securely tying a knot in front of her. Judith was crying by now but there wasn’t time to comfort her. I hesitantly let go of Judith as Michonne stood up and sighed in relief as her weight was supported. 

“Wait,” Michonne ordered Carl and he turned to look at her but whatever complaint he had died when he saw what she had. “Get back.” Michonne gestured and Carl listened without a word. Gabriel continued to beg and plead with us to let him in and how he understood.

Michonne swung the hatchet out and slammed it into the wide slab of wood she just placed up earlier this morning. I gripped my bow tightly, my heart starting to pound loudly in my ears, doing my best not to think about how many walkers Gabriel brought to our door.

“Please! Help! Help! Help me! Oh, God, please!” Gabriel continued to cry, no longer hitting the door as he realized we were doing our best to save him. Or, Michonne was doing her best to save him.

Finally, Michonne was able to wiggle the hatchet between the door and slab, yanking it off the door completely. Carl didn’t waste any time and opened the door, shouting for Gabriel. “Come on!” 

Gabriel screamed, running past us and the air got stuck in my throat at the horde of walkers that quickly followed after him. Carl quickly raised his gun and let out a few shots and I didn’t let the shock slow me down. I quickly pulled an arrow and let it fly at one of the walkers that were nearing Michonne and Judith.

“Get back,” Michonne ordered once more, backing up herself as she pulled the katana out of its sheath. I saw the blurred movements of her arms cutting down the walkers that were pouring into the small church. The three of us did as Michonne ordered, backing away from the small herd of walkers coming down the aisles and I let another arrow fly at a walker that was advancing on her as she kicked one away. 

“The rectory, come on,” Gabriel shouted, waving us over to follow him. Carl and I started to turn to follow but we didn’t until Michonne was backing up towards us. On the run over, I grabbed my backpack and slid underneath Gabriel's arm as he pushed the door in. Carl and Michonne were right behind me and Gabriel quickly slammed the door closed.

I looked around, trying to find a way out, and immediately noticed the floor that was pulled up. A bitter laugh escaped me and I turned around to yell at Gabriel but saw that he was a little busy keeping the door closed as fingers were curling their way around the door frame. Michonne was using a chair to hold the door closed and Carl kept his arms up, ready to shoot whatever head would breakthrough first.

“That's how I got out. Crawl under to the back. Just go. Take the girls and go.” Gabriel strained as he pointed at the hole he made in the floor. Carl nodded, putting away the gun and Michonne handed the chair to Gabriel, assisting Carl in transferring Judith to him. Judith wasn’t happy with the idea of switching and started to cry. 

As Carl climbed into the hole, holding Judith in his arms, Michonne called out. “Hey, hey.” Carl stopped and looked up at her. Michonne pointed a finger at him and switched it over to me. “You two wait for me.”

Carl silently nodded and disappeared underneath the wooden floor. As soon as he was gone, I hopped in, looking up at Michonne and Gabriel one last time as they struggled with the eager walkers. Not wasting any more time, I dove underneath the floor myself and crawled, pulling the bag in one hand and the bow in the other. Seeing Carl’s feet bouncing in front of me, I crawled from underneath the church and got up to stand by Carl. Panting, I nodded at Carl and then checked to see if Michonne was right behind us, ready to leave this place behind.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait long as the dark dreads made an appearance followed by a sheathed sword. Michonne pulled herself up faster than I did and quickly looked us over, checking for any scrapes that weren’t there before. Seeing that we were fine, she glanced back at the ground from where she just came out from. A bloody machete was the first thing to appear from underneath the chapel, Gabriel following after. Michonne noticed the man was struggling and walked over to help him.

I bit back what I really wanted to say but turned to look at Carl. “Need help putting her on your back?”

He nodded and handed her over to me as he turned around. Grunting with effort, I laid Judith to rest against his back as he quickly started to tie the knots to hold her weight in front of him. As I was helping him I heard Gabriel in a near whisper tell Michonne that he can’t run anymore.

“We're not running.” Michonne was adamant and I glanced over to see she was staring through Gabriel’s soul with that comment. Gabriel just stared at Michonne in wonder, clutching onto the blood-stained machete.

“What are we doing?” Carl asked once Judith was completely secured.

I kept quiet but didn’t hide my disapproving stare from Gabriel. Michonne caught on and gave me a scolding look and I turned to scan the trees nearby in case more walkers came by. It still didn’t change the fact that I thought what he did was not only dangerous to us but extremely dumb to do. Michonne walked over to the both of us again.

“What we’re going to do is take out the walkers that are trapped on the organ pipes and then trap in the rest.” Her eyes darted between the both of us. “I want the both of you to focus on that. Once that’s dealt with, we’re closing the doors and hammering the church doors closed again. Got it?”

We both nodded, knowing what our jobs were and I placed the bow across my body like the quiver, pulling on my knife. I looked up at Carl, “I go around the other side and take those out and you take out the ones here?”

“Fine with me,” Carl shrugged. Judith’s blonde head was twisting around behind him, clearly trying to see what was going on. I peeked over at Michonne to see if there were any disagreements with what I said but saw none.

Gabriel frowned, “Is it a good idea you go?”

I didn’t look at him. I just started going around the church before I even bothered answering. “He has Judith, I don’t.” I rounded the corner of the church before he even said anything back. 

Because of him, we don’t have a safe place to wait for the others to get back anymore. I don’t know exactly what he was thinking but he definitely had no trouble thinking of the safety of the church when he was running back. 

Kicking a pebble ahead of me, my eyes kept scanning the treeline that was to my right as I listened for any snarling, moan, or groans from the living dead to my left. As I walked past, I saw the etched panel Carl and the others were talking about. After that stunt, I can kinda agree with them. The only thing he has going for him is that we all made it out alive compared to the people he left to be eaten alive.

We’re alive so far…

I turned the other corner and saw a few walkers impaled on the silver spikes reaching out towards the chapel doors. Giving the building more space to be out of their sight, I started to silently tiptoe around them, nose crinkling as the smell reached me. I stood in plain sight for Carl to see me but far enough that the walkers in front of me didn’t know I was there. On the other side of the organ pipes, I met Carl’s eyes over a female walkers head. He nodded once and started creeping up behind the nearest one. I did the same, keeping my wits about me as I didn’t have Michonne to be back up if a walker snuck up behind me.

We both went down the line of killing the walkers. Carl had an easier time than I did but at least that growth spurt I had over the winter seemed to have helped a lot. I just needed to stand on my toes to be able to reach the base of each walkers skull but the downside of it all was the smell. I had to get a whole lot closer to the walkers than what Carl probably did. The smell coming off the walkers matched what I thought they would look like. Particularly the more recently turned walker who had maggots and pus seeping from the body.

That is an image I could do without.

Once all of the ones outside were dealt with, Carl and Michonne quickly ran up the church steps and pulled the doors closed, the walkers inside not aware of them yet. Gabriel came around the corner, holding two small wooden pieces that I swear were his floorboards that he ripped from the room we all just escaped from. He handed one to each person and both Carl and Michonne didn’t waste time. Carl turned his gun down and started pummeling a nail Gabriel handed over with the handle. Michonne did the same on the other end of the floorboard, using the handle of her katana instead.

The loud hammering caught the attention of the walkers inside the church, the snarls going up several notches. Once the first board was in place, they quickly moved onto the second one, doing the same as the first, rotting hands attempting to reach for both of them. Neither one looked up at the hands above them. Instead, they were putting their entire focus and energy into ensuring the nail would hold and stay put. I eyed the grey-blue hands some more before I felt they weren’t in danger to take time to look around what was our sanctuary.

As I wasn’t really outside the church much, I didn’t have a chance to see the changes that were made to the once peaceful looking building. The pipes that were torn off the organs were scattered in a circle around the entrance of the church. Walker bodies impaled on most of them, trails of nearly black blood flowing down the pipes, staining the dirt with small puddles. The beautiful pictures that were on the stained glass windows were completely covered up at the bottom, hidden away. The church resembled what an abandoned building would have looked like before walkers existed.

Done with securing the church doors, both Michonne and Carl backed away, all tension in their bodies slowly releasing itself with each step they took away from the church. Michonne clipped a finger under my chin and motioned for me to follow. I spared one last glance at the walkers that managed to squeeze their heads through the gap, jaws snapping open and closed after us, eyes nearly popping out of their sockets in their desperation.

Michonne walked over to a fence that was a good distance away from the church. Feeling like we weren’t going anywhere anytime soon I went to go put my backpack down only to realize that I didn’t have it. Looking around, I saw that none of the others had my bag either, and quickly thought back to the last time I had it. I definitely remember running into that rectory with it and I definitely left through the crawl space with it. I looked up at Michonne, ignoring the hunched over priest at the fence next to me, “I left my bag back where we were. I’ll be back.”

“Be careful,” she warned.

“Always am!” I replied, pulling off the bow from around my shoulders just in case. Her eyes glittered with amusement with a small quirk of the lips but said nothing. Seeing as that was as close to permission as I was going to get, I jogged over to where we were earlier, seeing my black bag sitting openly on the ground.

Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, I ran up to my backpack and grabbed the strap, slinging it over a shoulder. I turned to go back but froze as I noticed there was a walker crawling from underneath the church, excited to see me. Letting out a puff of air, I pulled the knife from the sheath and walked over, ready to stop it in its tracks before it got out and caused more trouble than what it was worth. Before I even took two steps, a second walker was right behind the first, following its lead. 

Growling, I put the knife away and pulled an arrow out of the quiver and took aim with the bow. The arrow landed between the first walker's eyes, stopping it from advancing any further, forcing the other walker to crawl on top of the first one in the same desperation to get me as the first. I just reached over my shoulder for another arrow and let that one fly into the second walker. It slumped over the first and I cautiously approached the dead walkers on the off chance there was a third just crawling out. 

I yanked on the two arrows and backed away from the corpses, inspecting the arrows for any defects. On quick observation, both arrows looked fine but I noticed how one had a crack along the wooden shaft and the other had a loose arrowhead. I broke off the tip and tossed the one with the crack to the ground and started to let my feet lead me back to the others as I kept examining the loose arrowhead. If I undid the twine around it I could possibly tighten it back up again.

“Cielo?” Michonne’s concerned voice called out to me.

“Coming!” I assured her, figuring I had a plan set with the flimsy arrow and actually looked where I was walking. I froze in my spot, staring petrified at the walker that I nearly walked into that was easily crawling on the ground. If it didn’t have a bright blue thin jacket as I did, then I would have never noticed it. I didn’t hear it because this walker seemed to have completely separated its entire lower half from the top. There were no lungs or diaphragm for it to even manipulate air into a sound.

I kept backing up to stay out of its grasp but there was a resounding groan that sounded too close to comfort behind me. Dodging to the left, away from the church, I started to run to be able to get a better visual of exactly how many walkers got out of the hole.

I looked over my shoulder to see Michonne’s face turn pale and I knew it wasn't good. Carl's jaw dropped and Gabriel didn't look any better when I last saw him. "Don't come!" I yelled and kept running, starting to feel the ache at the side of my head. 

I looked forward again, calculating which tree I could climb before my head really started to yell at me. My heart was already picking up the pace and each breath leaving me was harsher than the last. I tossed my backpack, accidentally landing behind a bush, but without the extra weight of the bag let me be able to move between the trees better.

And more importantly, climb one.

Feeling I had enough distance, I turned to see what exactly I was dealing with and my heart stopped.

It wasn't just the creeper crawling on the ground but a decent sized group that couldn't have all come from the church. They must have been stragglers that had gotten lost or others that were already in the forest that heard the ones Gabriel had found without any success till now. I nocked the arrow with the loose arrowhead into the bow and released it into one of the nearest walker. 

The arrow impaled lower than what I would have liked into the walkers head but it was still one walker less. Nervously, I scanned for the crawler. That one was moving faster than its two-legged companions, and if that wasn't bad enough, it doesn’t make sounds. I started backing up again, still looking for it, eyes darting left and right.

A loud moan by my ear had me dart to the left once more, feeling the brush of fingers against my shoulder, nails scraping against my jacket. A scream escaped me before I could stop it, encouraging the ones by me. The terror-filled scream was loud enough that I heard the high pitched screech echo through the woods. Something that I've only heard in a horror movie Tio and Gabriel watched a few years ago during their movie night. 

Michonne and Carl definitely would have heard it.

I cringed partly because they didn’t know I was okay. They would think that was the last of me. The scream was more of a reflex at nearly being grabbed after hearing the walker so close to my ear. That walker most definitely joined the growing horde. I mostly cringed because that scream would have more walkers running after me. From what I did see, I had more walkers behind me than the first time I had to run from them on my own. If I thought the walkers I had following me in the prison’s woods was bad, I take it all back. 

Focusing on running away, I looked around and saw the best tree I could climb and wait the walkers out. It looked dead. There were no leaves growing off any of the branches but they were thick enough where I knew they wouldn’t break under my weight. What made it better was the nearly hollow space in the trunk. If I backed into that -assuming the hollow space didn’t go down too far- I can hide most of my body in it. 

I couldn’t keep running forever and my head was starting to pound after letting out that loud scream. Even if I still have the energy to keep running, my head will have me crumpled over before I would even know it. Pushing more energy into my legs, I put the bow across my body and started to climb the tree, not daring to look back. I reached the first low branch that I would need to pull myself higher and closer to the tree trunk faster than I expected. Not wanting to lose any momentum, I stood up as soon as I grasped the second branch and kicked off, straddling it and wiggled backward, looking to see what I was dealing with before I moved all the way back. 

My sides were quickly enveloped within the trunk of the tree. Thankfully, the hole wasn’t deep at all but I sat on the large branch, too nervous to step inside the hole. There could be an animal living in there or maybe the tree’s insides were too rotted to even stand on. If it was, I would fall deep into the tree and no one will  _ ever _ find me. The tree covered me well enough that if anyone were to walk by they would be completely clueless I was in here as it was.

Except for the ring of walkers that were currently surrounding me.

I started to count. Panting from the mini-marathon I felt I ran in the woods but I definitely couldn’t have gotten far. By the time I counted thirty-seven walkers, not including the blue creeper, I was happy to be in this tree. I looked at all the different faces snarling up at me, jaws unhinging nearly as wide as a snake would, various stubby fingers trying to get a grip on me. I stared at some of those digits and saw nothing but the ivory bones that made up one's finger. 

I held onto the wooden bow that was resting against my chest, palms sweating. I didn't dare to make any more noise. Hopefully, there would be something that would catch their attention while I can try to escape. All I really can do is wait for someone to come look for me with an actual plan to get rid of over forty-five walkers. 

If they still think I'm alive after that scream. They wouldn’t leave me behind without looking first.

Right?


	56. Smells like Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is Monday's weekly chapter!
> 
> Thank you for comments and Kudos!
> 
> You may now all breathe with relief.

I stretched as far as I comfortably could in front of me before the bow started to dig into my stomach and chest, feeling my entire back scream with relief. I've been up here for the entire day and afternoon with a few walkers less. I was getting a little bit concerned because of how late it was getting. If the others were back with Beth then they would have come for me immediately. 

No one gets left behind.

I'm no different.

They've done it before…

Maybe they had unexpected problems and it's taking them longer than usual. The car ran out of gas, walkers blocked the way back, someone got split up and they were looking for each other. It's happened every time so far. Things go well in the beginning and something happens. Mami had the same issue too. This wouldn't be any different either.

I held back the sigh to avoid making any noise to make the walkers still here stick around longer than they had to. The growling and snarls weren't as loud as they were before. That had to be a good sign. If that meant they were getting bored with me then I could get back to the church myself. 

Safely.

There wasn't much to look at that was different in the last few hours. It was a mix of trees, dirt, dead leaves, and the walkers. I eventually got bored enough to actually look at all the faces. Look past the cloudy eyes and snapping jaws. Some clearly were dead from the beginning with most of them being more recently dead. The recently dead ones still had their faces. Completely discolored and any fat in it disappeared in time. Their faces appeared bruised and as time passed they started to appear more like dried leather. That's what the long-dead walkers looked like. Leathery faces were similar to the shriveled up dead leaves on the ground with little to no hair compared to the recently dead ones. The amount of hair still on those leathery scalps is next to nothing. 

But they all moved as fast as the other, no matter how long they were dead. However, if I was going off the blue creeper- nothing but its upper half- having no legs means you'll move even faster. 

I yawned, smothering my mouth with my hand just in case a sound escaped it. I blinked my eyes open again, wiping away the tears that escaped me from boredom, and froze. 

Not far was a deer passing by. 

Pulling a trick from what I've heard from Rick, I pulled the bow off my back carefully - doing my best to not fall over- and didn't waste a second in pulling out an arrow. I sat up more, feeling uncomfortable as I was aiming in the deer's direction, trying my best to shoot from a seated position and let the arrow fly into its hindquarters. The pained bellow from the deer caught the attention of the walkers and the small deer didn't waste any time in running away. The heavy hooves thundering off in the distance. 

Like clockwork, all the walkers turned to the direction they heard the sound from. The growls grew like a symphony as directed by their maestro. Arms dropped down to their sides and as if one unit, they all turned towards my right, lumbering after the deer.

I held in the cheer and excitement as they all started to leave my tree. One by one, the small horde of walkers stumbled after the poor deer. When I saw the back of the last one start to disappear I would have shouted with absolute joy if that didn't mean they would come back for me. Biting my lip, I waited in the tree a bit longer just in case. 

Merle told me celebrating good news too soon just brings more trouble. Of course, the man never listened to his own advice. He would be the first to boast about the good news.

Feeling like I waited long enough- beyond impatient to get going- I started to crawl down the tree, running off the moment my feet touched the ground. Faster I got away from here the better for me. For one, it would keep me far away from the walkers chasing after the deer. Secondly, I want to be able to get back to the church so Michonne, Carl, and Gabriel knew I was alright. Especially before the others came back with Beth. 

Between Merle, Daryl, and Rick, I wasn't sure who would be the one to scold me the worst as if I intentionally wanted to be chased after nearly fifty walkers.

My eyes scanned the ground in front of me, following the large trail of footsteps in the ground. While I may have run in circles trying to avoid getting eaten, a trail of over thirty pairs of feet is hard to not see. It just made things easier for me to get back.

I slowed down once I felt the side of my head start to pulse, figuring I went far enough. I sighed and rubbed the hairline the large bump was hiding in and felt it to be about the size of the small pebbles I shot out of my slingshot. I guess as long as the bump was there I wouldn't completely be rid of my concussion. It has almost been a week so soon enough I can do everything without worrying about my head shooting stabbing needles in my skull. 

I walked along the trampled ground, looking around for my bag that fell into the shrubs but noticed one particular detail. It appeared to be the blue creeper. Completely turned to mush. 

The only reason I knew it was the blue creeper is because of the blue jacket that peeked out from the blood and bones that pierced it. Seems like its walking companions stomped it to death. I took in the sight with a strange fascination. The dirt surrounding the pulverized walker was stained with dark red blood. I stepped a little bit closer and tried to figure out what was the walkers head, arms, and hands. The hands were a bit obvious when there was a finger, which kind of helped figure out the arms, but I could not see the head at all.

If the world was still normal, I probably would have screamed and run away seeing something like this. Mami would have held me for the rest of the day as Abuela would make arroz con leche with extra cinnamon to make me feel better, watching shark week with Grandpa. Except this world wasn’t normal anymore. I’ve seen people die. I’ve seen dead people eating other people when this all started no matter how many times Mami tried to make me look away. People hurting or killing others for food and shelter. I’ve even killed people. 

I’m probably not normal either. 

But seeing the creeper where it was, I felt relieved. My chest felt lighter without me realizing it was heavy to begin with. I didn't have to worry about the creeper popping out of nowhere now. It was nerve-wracking to be going through the woods as is knowing it was filled with a decent sized amount of walkers. At least the extremely silent one was killed with no effort on my part. I walked up to it and winced at the angles of what I guessed to be the ribs sticking up. 

If it was living, that definitely looked like a painful way to go too. 

Realizing I was wasting time, I hurried up and kept along the trail, looking for the bag as I went back towards the church. It was about three minutes later that I had found the bag hidden inside the bush it fell into. I was wary about the bush because my luck would have it that it was more wood nettle. Or if the bush was safe, then something was hiding in there with my backpack as the lure. If one ever had to wonder what a fish felt like before taking a bite of the worm, I did now.

With all those walkers, what was the likelihood that there wasn’t one trapped in this bush? Or one that looked like the creeper that got too tangled up in the bushes? Or another _living_ person?

Breathing in deeply, I felt the air fill my lungs until it was too uncomfortable to hold it in. I slowly let it out, shaking out my shoulders, calming myself down before I even made a move to try and get it. Biting my lip nervously, I slowly started to reach towards the bush, pulling at the leaf gently enough to not tear it off but nudge the branches off to the side so I can try and see beyond it. Peering in, there wasn’t anything overly suspicious. 

Feeling a bit more confident, I grabbed a fistful of the branches and pulled to the side, seeing nothing there but my backpack. I let out a breath of air, silently thanking whoever was watching over me, and grabbed the bag without hesitation. I readjusted the backpack and quiver on my back and kept moving on as I kept an eye around me. At this point, I just wanted to just be back with Michonne and Carl. Maybe hold Judith a little bit…

Walking back to the church was eerily quiet. 

After all the growls I’ve been hearing for hours on end to suddenly have this kind of silence in the woods made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. The only thing I heard was the sounds of dead leaves crunching underneath my feet. Maybe the occasional bird but nothing else. There was no wind to rustle the leaves on the treetops. No barking of squirrels. Just silence.

Trying my best not to sway the hand holding the bow in my excitement as the trees started to thin out, I held it in front of me with both hands. I didn’t want to accidentally damage the bow. I couldn’t look Daryl in the eye if I did. I don’t know how hard it was for him to find this bow. Let alone what he had to do to get it. Mami had a hard time finding my dinobag a few years ago and the world was perfectly _normal_. With walkers taking over the world, who knows just how hard it is to find a professionally made bow?

Once the church was in sight, I started to run over to where I saw Michonne and Carl before the walkers chased me off but came to an immediate stop. The first thing I noticed was the demolished front steps leading to the church. Shards and pieces of the white wood were scattered throughout the yard like an explosion went off. The organ pipes weren’t any different but some looked extremely bent. The bodies of the dead walkers on them scattered about as well, some in better shape than others. I followed the field of destruction to where the others were standing before and felt my heart sink into my stomach.

They were gone.

No one was here.

I bit both of my lips, chest tightening and twisting, holding back the whimper that I wanted to let out. I took two steps forward, listening for any voice that sounded familiar, hoping that they were nearby. After several seconds of hearing nothing, the twisting I felt in my chest started to feel as if something was cracking and chipping away. A shuddering breath came into my lungs.

They were gone.

And I was alone.

Again.

This time, there won’t be any Dale on watch sitting on top of his RV.

No Rick or Daryl to look for me.

No Maggie or Carol to hold me close.

It was like being back in those woods, lost all over again. Without Mami. Trying to figure out where to go and what to do. Now, it’s without Daryl and the others. While I don’t know where Michonne, Carl, and Gabriel walked off to or what happened to them, I know about the others. Michonne would take them to the others. I know where they are going but I don’t know _how_ to get there. 

And I’m all alone. 

I won’t know _how_ to find them ever again.

I stomped my foot several times in frustration, wanting to scream. 

They _left_ me…

They actually left me behind.

Tears were running down my face, blurring everything. I roughly wiped them away with a hand and a whine left me as I did. My face felt hot. My chest was burning and felt as if it was collapsing from within. My head was starting to ache. I completely felt as if everything broke apart in me. So broken that the memory of my first bow came to mind. How destroyed it was and impossible to put back together. 

How would I be okay?

I’m alone…

Another cry left my lips and I leaned against the tree next to me, sliding down next to it. The tears were just flowing out of me. Every time I brushed away one set, another set of tears quickly replaced it. I gave up trying to wipe the tears off my face and just let them fall. Not like it matters anyway. Who would see?

I sat there against the tree, wondering what I can even do, I knew my limits. I couldn’t clear an entire place like Rick, Merle, or Daryl. I didn’t know how to start a fire even if I’ve seen it done plenty of times. I barely had food in this bag as it is and they all needed to be cooked over a fire to even eat it right. I don’t think the last can of soup would taste good as it is in the can without at least warming it up first.

Before I could think too much of it I saw a man coming out of the woods on the other side by the small cemetery, taking in the church in front of him. He was wearing what looked like a trench coat, some knee pads that went over his shins, and had a long hiking stick. He was nearly covered head to toe. I immediately pressed closer to the tree and shrunk down further, wiping my cheeks hastily, eyeing him from my spot. 

He quietly started to walk up to the church, looking at the damage that it went through before he disappeared _inside_ the church. I gaped in shock when he did. That door was supposed to be closed shut. Clearly, whatever happened here meant that the horde that followed Gabriel to the church managed to escape. If they escaped then Michonne had to get the others to safety.

That means they didn’t leave me on purpose.

Maybe they will be back?!

But until they do, I have to wait out the man who just walked into the church. Once he leaves, I can try to bar the church door closed again with something in Gabriel’s office. I can wait for them inside until they do come back. Even if Michonne had to leave me there was a small chance that the others didn’t come back with Beth yet. As long as I am here, they know where to look for me. Daryl will know where to look for me. Or at least start tracking just to find a trail of me coming back here. 

I waited there for quite some time, on edge. I was too nervous one of the escaped walkers would find me and that would be another escape to the trees. If the walkers would find me then they would let the man inside know that something was not right. He would probably think it’s worth it to take a look and see me trapped in another tree for the day. I didn’t dare think to move until I saw the sky start to turn into both purple and pink. 

Night was close and it was a _really_ bad idea to stay out here with all of those walkers. I huffed, looking at the only option I had in front of me. I needed to get inside that church but I heard him close the doors shut just thirty minutes ago at most. If he was smart he found something inside to keep the doors shut. He was smart enough to pile all of the walker bodies that we did kill inside the church by the church doors. Biting my lip, I looked at the crawl space underneath the church, knowing about the hole to get in. 

Personally, I was a little nervous to crawl under there after walkers managed to appear from under the building themselves. What if it was blocked by a living walker?

Mentally groaning, I got up and carefully walked over to the tiny fortress that we had made. I made sure to step on the patches of grass to not make any noise by stepping on the dirt path and knelt down, taking a sneak peek at what I would have to deal with if I did go under there. I looked over at the two walkers I had killed earlier that day still there but I couldn’t see anything else underneath. Letting out a colorful curse at the darkness that enveloped the bottom of the church, I hooked my bag around an elbow and held the bow in the same side, pulling my knife out in the other hand. If there was another walker crawling around under there, it wasn’t going to get the best of me.

Mentally praying for whoever has kept an eye on me so far, who I mostly believed to be Mami, my Abuelos, and my Grandparents, I dove under. I didn’t enjoy feeling the dirt scrape against my skin through the shirt but I’m sure the others had to do things they didn’t like either. I wiggled over to where I remembered the hole to be and immediately froze as my elbow landed in something cold and wet. Whatever it was, smelled horrible, but the dirt was dry the last time we all passed by. I looked up and suddenly wished I hadn’t. 

A large blob fell forward and smacked me right in the face.

I turned my head and started gagging at the smell that I couldn't get away from. I smelled walkers before but never had a piece of a walker hit me square in the face. 

I clearly found blue creeper's other half...and I think his stomach or kidney hit my face. 

"Uck," I silently let out, horrified and disgusted.

I let go of my bow and used the sleeve of my jacket to wipe off -the blood?- whatever it was from my face. I looked again, hoping that the rest of its organs can stay in place long enough so I can see how it was blocked. Seeming to have a small break in my life, I looked and noticed two pairs of motionless legs pinning the creeper's lower half to the other side of the hole. Seeing as it was getting darker underneath the chapel by the second, I felt my nerves start increasing with it. Warily, I poked at the walkers leg to see if it would react and wasn't too surprised at it staying quiet. 

I did the same with the other walkers legs, clearly a woman if the heels were to go by, and got the same reaction. Complete silence.

Moving a bit to the side, I started to pull at the female walkers legs, trying to get her dislodged so I could get in. Seeing that she was clearly pinned in place, I tried the other walker standing next to her. This walker budged better but it didn’t really give me the space I needed. Instead, the only thing that was being dislodged was the rest of creeper organs as I pulled at the middle walker. The smell and sound of the organs plopping next to me is beyond horrible. 

I clearly didn’t think about that...

Another thought came to mind and I felt my entire mouth curl into disgust at the idea. I looked at the organs next to me before looking up, seeing the lower half of the spine and pelvis clearly without most of its organs in the way. My head turned and felt my throat threaten to let go of what I had of my breakfast. I made the mistake of taking a deep breath. There was no description for what I smelled other than **death**. 

Whimpering, I looked back up at the creepers -less dangerous but still horrific- other half. I slipped my arm out of my backpack and placed the bow on top of it. I sheathed the knife next before I wiggled as best as I could to get the quiver over my head. I set that on top of both the bag and bow. “This is bullshit,” I hissed as I got on my knees and pushed the lower half up. 

I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt the remaining blood and slimy ligaments and tendons that were holding everything together drip over me. After what felt like a minute of nothing really budging, I sighed and tried a new route. I looked down and with one hand, lifted the bottom of my jacket to wipe anything that could be by my eyes before looking back up to hook my fingers into the sides of the pelvic bone, pushing past the rotting muscle that surrounded it until my palms connected with the bone.

I tried again except this time, I wiggled what would have been the walkers hips side to side as I pushed up. I felt it move enough little by little that I put more force into the next push that I popped out from the other side and into the little room. I turned my head and held in the scream as I saw the walkers head coming toward me. I dropped back down to the bottom of the church, backing away, ignoring the fact of the pile of organs I just fell on as my heart started to pound at my chest. Adrenaline rushing through my body, ready to go. I really was ready to start crawling away when the walker fell face-first into the ground, the female walker falling on top of him. 

I closed my eyes in relief, forgetting that they weren’t living walkers, a bit mad at myself. I looked down and felt my entire face twist into disgust once more. I lifted a hand and saw the intestine cling onto my skin for a moment before it fell back on the ground with the rest of it. 

I want a bath.

With hot water and lots of soap.

Groaning in disgust as I pushed off it all and started to crawl towards the newly freed hole in the rectory. As I did, the wetness just spread towards the front of me and I whimpered at the revolting feel and smell of what I was on. I quickly crawled towards the hole in the ground and looked at my hands, nose wrinkling at the sight. I looked down at the female walker who was wearing a red party dress. It used to be really pretty. It made me wonder where she was wearing a dress that fancy when all of this went downhill. Sighing, I put the thought aside and wiped my hands on it. 

I looked at my hands again, seeing that they were stained in walkers blood but not as soaked as it was before. Not wanting to waste more time, I grabbed my belongings and put them on the wooden floor, eyes widening in shock at the door that was wide open in front of me, small candlelight flickering. Moving fast, I pushed myself up from the ground with a grunt, lifting one leg over. Seeing that the wooden floor around me was already covered in walker blood, I didn’t worry too much if I stained another spot in it as long as it wasn’t obvious. I grabbed my things once I stood on my two feet and silently walked around the hole to hide behind the large desk that was in the room. 

I listened to the sounds the man was making in the main chapel, hearing nearly nothing at all. The only sounds I heard were of him moving things around or even the shift of his jacket. There was nothing out of the ordinary. 

I looked out the top half of the boarded window and saw the night sky had taken over. Hiding my things under the desk, I curled up by all of my belongings underneath it, staying out of sight. I listened to the man in the darkroom shuffle around but he didn’t seem to be coming over to where I was. I laid my head on top of my bag and twirled the little flaps of the zipper, feeling tired and nervous to sleep all at the same time.

* * *

My stomach growled as I waited on the pew. 

It’s been half a day since the man left the church. He made himself breakfast, prayed by the cross, gathered all his belongings and left. I closed the church doors not long after he left by sliding over the couch that he took out of Gabriel’s office. If he noticed that the church doors closed not long after he left, he clearly didn’t come back to check it out.

It’s been half a day and they still didn’t come back…

I slammed the medical book closed in frustration, biting my lip, thinking. 

Mami didn’t come for three days and when she did show up, it was as a walker. If I didn’t run out of the cabin, then I would have stayed there forever, or till someone else found me. What if the situation is the same here?

It’s impossible for everyone to have turned into a walker, someone had to have lived, but what if something bad happened to everyone. They obviously wouldn’t have the time to come back. Whether they got hurt or turned into a walker themselves. Then if Michonne took Carl, Judith, and Gabriel to the others, then she would tell them…

Michonne and the others probably think I’m dead after that scream…

I sighed, not completely surprised if they thought I was. I was so far into the woods that if they heard that scream, they would think it was the last thing I ever did, not daring to come to see. Grumbling, I went to twist the ring on my finger and felt skin. Surprised, I looked around the chapel, wondering when the ring could have fallen off. I slipped off the pew and looked underneath it, seeing nothing out of the ordinary. Confused, I looked at my hand wondering where it could have been. The dried stain of walkers blood on my hand had chills going down my spine as I looked back at the room where I snuck in. 

I closed my hand into a fist, “Not like I really need it…"

I’m not digging into any walkers body for a pretty ring. It can keep it. 

I looked around the chapel, seeing its demolished state, feeling that the building wouldn't keep itself up for all of the amount of damage it had taken. As I thought of the damage Carl’s words to Gabriel about how staying in one place isn’t safe came to mind. How staying here wouldn't be safe forever. Biting the inside of my cheek, I looked over at the couch that was my only defense in keeping walkers out as the truth came to light. It might hold back walkers but it wouldn’t do much to keep a group of the living out. My eyes drifted over to my quiver and saw four measly arrows left inside. I obviously wouldn't be able to defend myself too well with just four arrows.

I tapped the side of my hunting knife, biting at my lip, thinking of what I can do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter Morgan to ring!
> 
> Please don't mind any weird sentences I think I was writing this chapter half asleep one morning LOL


	57. Tracking Morgan down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday!
> 
> Hope everyone enjoyed their Valentines weekend in whatever shape or form you did so. Mine was a BBQ with family, pretty nice and simple.
> 
> The last chapter definitely got reactions 😆
> 
> Hope this is just as enjoyable!
> 
> Thank you for the comments and kudos, they make me happy 😊

My tongue ran over the roof of my mouth in disgust as the flavor of the cold soup registered with my tastebuds. Face twisted, I looked back at the still full can of soup, still chewing on the tough bits of celery from the minestrone soup. I didn't want to finish it but it'll be a waste of food if I don't. Food in cans stays good so long as it isn't opened, right?

Sighing, I looked out the window to see streams of light fighting through the boards that were nailed to the glass stained windows. A glimpse of the Virgin Mary's eyes staring back at me. Abuela prayed a lot to her. Maybe it's Abuela checking in on me?

Well, someone is.

They didn't check in on me…

They probably think I'm dead.

I sighed, looking back at the opened can, debating on what I should do. I really couldn't stay here forever. It's already been a whole day since I've seen them. No one tried to come look. So maybe I should look for them?

But how?

I put down the can of soup and got up to pack up the few things I took out to keep myself entertained. Once everything was put away, I grabbed tightly to the straps of my backpack -thinking. 

Biting my lips anxiously, I threw the backpack over my shoulder and grabbed the can of soup, making my way to the couch that was keeping the church doors closed. I leaned against the armrest of the couch and started to push. The loud groan of wood being rubbed against echoed loudly in the silent chapel. I grunted as I pushed against the heavy sofa and only stopped when I had freed one door. I panted lightly at the effort and pulled open the door -blinded by the light. 

Blinking rapidly, my eyes finally adjusted to the sun's rays and took in the peaceful sight in front of me. Leaves were beginning to change colors and the grass swayed gently in the breeze. Few songbirds were chirping their songs out in the distance. Everything looked relatively...normal.

* * *

Lightly huffing, I spun around the body of the squirrel I had shot down, knife gliding along its skin. Crickets were chirping in these woods, sending walkers off into a goose chase, keeping an ear out for them as they may smell the fresh meat in my hands. Stomach grumbled loudly, only adding to the danger of being heard, unsure just how soft of a noise that a walker could pick up on. 

I glanced back at the man from behind the bushes, seeing him stir a can over a fire, finishing up on cleaning up the squirrel. It wasn't too hard tracking after the man. I had to alternate between walking and running to be able to catch up and I only dared to slow down when his footprints were fresh. He actually walked pretty slow. Following him had me luckily run into a stream where I was able to clean up a little bit but it didn’t change the fact my clothes were still covered in walkers blood and guts. I stunk as bad as the walkers themselves.

Maybe worse.

But I did notice that walkers didn't pay me much mind so long as I didn't run. It was quite a shock when I was sitting against the tree to see a walker just amble past me with barely a turn of its head my way. I was expecting it to snap its teeth my way but all it did was let out its breathy moan. It just kept walking away from me. So there's a silver lining in being covered in walker guts from the looks of things.

Completely done with the squirrel, I watched him carefully, waiting. 

I was squatting uncomfortably for over five minutes, waiting for the right moment, but if I gave in to my burning thighs then I would miss out. I wouldn’t be able to move exactly when I needed to. While I was waiting, I learned a few things about him. He took out four things from his bag and prayed over it. So he wasn’t praying in the church because it was a church. There had to be some meaning behind what he was praying over. People he knew maybe?

Like how I had Mami’s necklace to remember her by he prays over some of the things from the people he knew?

I also saw that that walking stick wasn’t just a stick he would lean on. He took down ten walkers with it.

Ten!

So if I was going to come anywhere near him, I need to be as far away from the stick he had or he would hit me over the head with it. He looked like a ninja moving that thing around with the walkers. Coming after me with it wouldn’t be any harder. 

He is a highly prepared man too. 

I’ve noticed him look at a map constantly, making sure he was on track, much like we did before we found the prison. That backpack he had looked like what Tyreese would call a hiker’s backpack and I saw a small pot attached at one end, so when he cooked, he had a place to cook his food. That meant he didn’t need to hide in houses all the time. What made it more obvious was the long line of rope he tied around himself with used cans dangling from it. He was comfortable sleeping out here if he had to -which to me is crazy. There may have been a point where I had to live in the woods myself when I got lost but I  _ never _ slept on the ground _ , _ I was always sleeping in the trees.

My stomach angrily growled at me, reminding me that I haven’t eaten anything for the day and I mentally told it to wait. I wrapped up the squirrel in it’s own skin as I watched him stir the can over the fire before he slid it off with a thick cloth. I grinned and quickly reached down at the rocks I found, plucking them off the ground. I swung my arm and threw the rock as far from me, hearing the rustle of the leaves as it landed back on the ground, peeking over at the man once more. His entire body became tense, realizing he wasn’t alone anymore.

He didn’t make a sound and I threw another rock in the same direction, hoping he would go and check it out. He didn’t get up but he reached for that pole, ready to break another walkers skull with it, highly aware something wasn’t right. I huffed as I threw another one, hoping it wouldn’t take more than the five stones I had for him to start moving away. I only had two left after this.

The man cautiously stood up, his eyes darting around him even though the sound was coming to his left. “Hello?” he called out. “Someone there?”

Figuring he wouldn’t budge, I tried throwing the fourth rock a little bit closer to me but not too close. I didn’t want him to see me when I made a run for it. 

This time, he felt enough was enough, as he ducked underneath the rope and I started to stalk towards his camp, giving enough space between him and I as he went to investigate. Slipping under his walker-proof alarm, I ran over to the cooked can of frijoles and dropped the skinned squirrel in its place. Gripping the hot can with the same cloth he used to move it with both hands, I snuck out of his camp and made my way back to my spot, happy with my meal.

As soon as I settled down, slowly tilting the top of the can side to side to make a shovel out of it, I heard him heading back to his campsite. He didn’t exactly look happy coming back and went to go underneath his rope when he froze once more, staring at his firepit. As if someone turned on a switch, he quickly dove under the rope and walked over to the ready to cook squirrel. 

I expected him to get mad at the fact his food got taken. That he had to wait even longer now that he has to cook all over again. Instead, he just picked up the squirrel meat and laughed before looking around. He didn’t say anything but he had a large smile on his face as he looked at the piece of meat I traded him for.

I blew on the extremely hot can with slanted eyes his way. Most people would be mad. Even if they have food to replace the can they would be angry about having their food taken. He is just taking this whole thing in stride and that was very weird.

He sat back down and started to prepare to roast the meat over an actual stick. As he was doing so, I had eaten about half of the frijoles, watching him carefully as I kept one ear to the side of me for any sneaking prowlers out of habit. They clearly loved the night and made it known. They weren’t as quiet about moving around in the night as they were during the day for some reason. 

I scraped the last bit out of the can, filling my empty belly with it’s first and last meal of the day till I tried again tomorrow. I looked at the now empty can and rolled it away from me before grabbing my things and adjusting them on my back again. I tiptoed over to the tree I picked to sleep on and climbed my way up, holding in the effort it took going up with a backpack. I stopped climbing when I felt the first branch and settled myself on it for the night, adjusting my belongings and strapping my legs to the branch.

I looked back at the man who was finally eating the roasted meat. Seeing he was still unaware of me, I slipped my arms into the bag and curled into it, staring longingly at the warm fire. Fall is coming around the corner and tonight is another cool night.

* * *

My eyes blinked open, bright sunlight hitting my face as I did, and I sighed at the little sleep I got. Other than sleeping in a tree, it was cold last night. I can deal sleeping in a tree just like I’ve dealt sleeping on hard floors. I can’t stand being cold when I’m trying to sleep. Somewhere along the line of following the man, I have to get a blanket. Or an actual sweatshirt that is thicker than what I have now, not the thin ones for summer. 

Going through the motions of getting myself free from the tree branch, I looked over where the man stayed to see he was gone, all of his things were gone. I held back the panic that filled me and tried to stay calm to see if it really was safe to leave the tree. I ignored the feeling in my stomach as I scanned my surroundings for the man or walkers. Seeing neither, I felt it was safe to get down from the tree and walked over to where he was sleeping last night. 

I blinked in surprise at a protein bar left by where he made his firepit. 

Where I put the squirrel...

I knew he wasn’t around. He must have figured I still was and left me something else to eat. Smiling, I plucked the protein bar from the ground and went to rip open that wrapper when I stopped. My mouth watered to eat it now but maybe it’s a good idea to eat it later. I slipped it in a side pocket by my water bottle and looked around to see where he went. Finding a pair of footprints that looked recently made, I stared at it a bit before following them, not wanting to follow a wrong trial.

I followed the trail out of the woods and onto a road, looking carefully at the direction the feet were walking towards and I looked up, trying to see if he was still visible on the road or far ahead. I didn’t see him but I kept walking in the direction he seemed to be going on the road, staying out of the woods for now. I could always run into them to hide compared to running out with walkers after me.

I really didn’t trust these woods…

I walked along the road for some time, humming a random tune, still not seeing hide nor hair of the man from yesterday. I scanned the sides of the road for any footprints but never saw any. That meant he had to still be on the road. I sighed and kept walking, figuring there was nothing left to do. If I stopped walking then I’m saying that I’m staying put in this area full of walkers. If I kept walking, I would be going into places I had no idea with maybe even more walkers than these woods had.

Eventually, my walking along the road brought me into a town. I looked around hesitantly, knowing that the last time I walked into a town by myself, I had people chasing after me with guns. I gripped the bow tightly in both hands as I walked fast down the road, looking for places people or walkers could hide. So far, it looked like every town that I had gone through with the others. Cars hazardously parked all over the roads, some with doors open and others with doors shut, a few crashed into one another.

Broken store windows and the occasional bodies that I couldn’t say that were people when they were killed or walkers nearby those broken windows. Where bits of paper used to cover the street were now replaced with leaves that managed to fly into town, not having anything to stop it from doing so. The town looked deserted but nothing is truly abandoned as it looks. I stuck to the road, giving some of the cars with open doors plenty of space in case something popped out, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up as I felt uncomfortable.

Sudden shouts from a few blocks over had me freeze in my spot, trying to hear what was going on. With a quick scan of my surroundings, I started to jog over to where I was hearing other people arguing, wondering if the man was one of them. I stuck close to the building walls as I made my way over, sneaking a peek around each corner before moving on, hearing the voices get clearer and louder.

“I said, give me that gun and the bag.” One man ordered.

“I can’t do that.” A calmer voice replied, clearly the person being ordered around by the one I heard first. I turned to check around another corner and would have smiled if it wasn’t for the situation. 

I found the man from yesterday, clearly the calm one from what his body posture was to go off by. Plus, it kinda helped that there were three men surrounding him, all pointing guns his way. That made a bit more obvious of what was going on. One of the men behind him with a rifle moved it higher, aiming for the man’s head. “He said bag and gun. You don’t have a choice.”

The man’s shoulders deflated, “I’m sorry but I’m not going to do that. We can talk-”

“No one’s talking,” the first man with the handgun stated. “You are giving us what we want, nice and simple.”

The other two men seemed to take that as an indirect order because they both moved closer to the man I was following. He seemed so calm about having his things taken from him that it made me wonder just how well he can use that hiking stick. Not risking him dying, I reached for an arrow and placed it into the bow, ready to let it go on the first person who would harm him. 

I don’t know him well but I know that a bad man wouldn’t leave me a protein bar after I took his can of frijoles.

Seeing one of the men with the rifle reach out, I let the arrow fly in his direction, hitting him right in the head. My arrow startled all of the men but it gave the nice one the opening he needed and he swung that hiking stick straight into the skulls of the other two men in a blink of an eye. Both of the men staggered at the hit to the heads but he kept following up with the hits, knocking the guns out of their hands. With a few more swings, both men were on the ground, and he looked in my direction to see if he could spot me peeking around the corner.

“Hello?” he called out towards me.

I stayed put where I was, keeping more of an eye on the two men at his feet, wondering why he hadn't used the hiking stick to stab the two men like he did with the walkers. Both of the men seemed to be completely unconscious after receiving the hits that they did with that heavy pole. His dark eyes scanned the area I was in a bit more before looking back down at the three men at his feet. He stared a little longer at the one I had shot down with a frown before sparing a quick look over his shoulder my way again. Seeing as there wasn’t a need to be there any longer, he started to walk away.

I walked around the corner of the building I was hiding and tiptoed over to the car on the street, looking around the bumper of the car to see if he would look over his shoulder, not wanting to be seen just yet. As I was about to take another step forward, I saw him take one look over his shoulder, and I froze. Seeing nothing, he kept walking forward, and I started to walk towards the three men that were on the ground. Ignoring the two that were unconscious, I walked over to the guy who had my arrow and tugged, wondering if I could still use the arrow. 

His entire head lifted with the tug and I sighed, bending down and holding down the bearded man’s head, tugging again. It felt strange pulling the arrow from a warm head and it made my stomach flip some at the feeling, but I needed my arrow. This time I got the arrow out and I looked at the arrowhead to make sure it was still in place and not loose. Seeing it was okay, I tossed it back in the quiver, making a mental note to make some more for later once I found everything I needed. I scanned the dead man for anything I can use in the meantime. I rolled him over with some difficulty and checked his waistband for a handgun, seeing none. Frowning, I focused on the backpack he carried and started to open up all the compartments, pulling out a few granola bars and some ammo I think would work for my handgun.

I slipped off my backpack and started to stash those things in, doing a quick sweep of the area for any of their friends or walkers, not liking being out in the open. I did the same thing to the other two backpacks and took any food or ammo that would work. One bag had all the dishes in between some clothing and I took a bowl and spoon. I didn’t really want to take it, but if I’m mooching off the other guy's food I should leave some of his actual food, even if I trade him for it. I tested the weight of my bag with the extra ammo and food I got and felt as if my arm was going to be pulled off when I tried. 

Wincing, I put more strength into it and slung it over my shoulders with a quiet ‘uff’. I quickly checked through the scattered belongings the men had in their bags before I zeroed in on the handgun. Figuring two is better than one, I reached over and took it, nearly falling over at the new weight on my back. Two unsteady steps later, I kept myself from face planting into the asphalt, silently cheering at my success. 

Growls were the only warning I got to remind me that it wasn’t safe where I was. I looked over to see four walkers were coming up the road from where I was walking before. I looked down at the two unconscious men, knowing that they wouldn’t be safe from the walkers but I wasn’t exactly going to wake them up either. If they were holding a grown man at gunpoint then they wouldn’t do any different to me. Glancing over at the walkers, I turned and followed the man from before, figuring two bad men less in the word wouldn’t be a bad thing.

I didn’t even pass a block when the screams began.

* * *

I watched carefully as he started gathering everything to start a new fire, mimicking what he was doing from the distance, learning how I could. Once it was all assembled, I saw he pulled out a lighter and lit a dry leaf before tossing it into the fire he built, using another stick to encourage the rest of it to catch. Mentally, I went over the belongings the other men had in the bags, wondering if a lighter was one of them. I frowned as the memory of Daryl pulling one out of his vest came to mind, realizing they might have had one on them.

I looked at my copy with a shrewd eye, figuring all I would ever need is a lighter, some rope, and empty cans before I could do the same. Put some traps around as an extra layer of defense just in case, find a map to go to DC, and I should be good to go. 

If I can figure out how to read the map…

I huffed at the thought before looking over at the man in his little campsite. He was reaching into his bag for another can of food and I turned my head to my bag, biting my lip nervously. I really wanted to eat the can of soup but it would be putting a lot of trust in him not to take the whole can to himself. I’ve followed him for one whole day, so it’s not like I could say much, but I know he wasn’t like those bad men from the town. I looked over to see he was tearing off the label from the can as he set it down on a stone next to the fire. 

Figuring to give it a shot - one hell of a long shot- I opened the bag and shuffled things around to get the can of soup, swiping the cloth he had from the night before. Feeling a bit anxious, I grabbed the set of pebbles in front of me before doing the same as last night, tossing one off to the side. His head snapped up like the night before, staring over at the direction the noise was coming from, not moving. I threw another one and instead of being alarmed, he started to smile.

That isn’t weird at all…

“Did you follow me?” He asked, looking around the darkness of the woods. I saw him gesture at the fire in front of him, “You’re more than welcome to sit here and join me.”

Figuring he wasn’t moving, I carefully started to walk towards the fire, not exactly taking his invitation. Keeping him in my line of sight, I hid behind a tree as close as I dared, seeing he was still staring in the direction I left my things at, smile still there. “I’m Morgan,” he informed me.

Instead of answering verbally, I tossed the can of soup over to him, figuring he can do me the favor of putting it next to his. The sound of the soup being tossed his way caught his attention and I darted as fast and quietly as I could away from the spot I was in. My braid got snagged on a branch and I winced at both the sound of the thin branch snapping and the feel of a few hairs pulled out of my scalp. I kept moving, not letting that stop me until I reached my original spot, looking around the tree to see him already holding the can of soup. His smile widened and checked around him, “Want me to heat this up?”

Yes, please.

As if he heard me, he tore off the label and popped the top off the can, setting it right next to his can. My opinion of Morgan tilted itself closer to trustworthy but I wouldn’t completely say he was until I had that can of soup in my stomach. He leaned back and I noticed his shoulders shaking, probably laughing as he still had a smile planted on his face, “For a moment I thought you were going to steal my food again.”

I debated on it…

Seeing that he had my dinner cooking next to his, I turned my attention back to making a few more arrows, trying to remember what Daryl taught me. I always made them under his supervision and if he wasn’t able then Merle did, but making arrows was more my and Daryl’s thing than me and Merle. I always leaned against Daryl when I was making the arrows- a bit to his annoyance- but I never caused him to make a bad set of bolts for his crossbow, so he left it be. Whenever I doubted myself, he would take the arrow from me and inspect it, correct anything that I’ve done wrong before handing it back to me.

I analyzed the set of arrows I made when the sun was setting as best as I could in the dark. I did them a bit rushed, so I didn’t add fletchings to it, not wanting to waste the feathers I managed to scrounge up. I’ll put the little nocks at the end of the arrow for the ones that are done right tomorrow as I’m trialing after Morgan. He was pretty easy to follow.

Morgan stopped trying to convince me to join him around the fire. It was best that way. If there were any walkers in the area and they heard him talking then they would come our way. My eyes woefully drifted over to the heavy backpack that I would have to climb up the tree with. If I had to speedily climb the tree with walkers after me, I couldn’t do it with that heavy of a backpack, which means I would have to abandon it somewhere along the way. I got lucky last time I had to leave it behind. The church was pretty isolated from any town and there weren’t too many living people that would have come across my bag. I couldn’t say the same for wherever we were now.

“Foods ready,” Morgan called out, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I tossed a pebble to the side, letting him know I heard but wouldn’t come near if he was there, twisting the thick cloth. He let out a loud laugh before he got up with his hiking stick, nodding his head, “Alright, I’ll give you your space.”

I watched as he dove under his rope and walked off a bit in the distance. I didn’t waste any time and made my way over to my can of soup, dodging under the rope myself and carefully wrapped the cloth around the can of soup. The heat coming off from the can warmed my hands through the cloth, steam wisping off the chicken noodle soup I was excited to eat. I took something out of my pocket and left it next to his can of frijoles. Not moving as fast as I did before, I walked a bit off to the side, in case he was looking to see where I went as I tugged the rope down, alerting him I left.

I safely made it back to my spot, setting the can on the ground, excited to eat something nice and warm for the night. As I dug for my new spoon, I noticed Morgan was making his way back to his campsite, seeing one can less by the fire. He ducked underneath the alarm he set up for the walkers and barked out a short laugh as he picked up the wrapper for the protein bar he gave me.

* * *

We did the same routine for the next three nights. I would toss a rock to the side, let him know it was me, and drop off my food choice of the day to be cooked. He would set everything up for me and leave voluntarily after he announced it was done so I could pick it up. I would leave behind a piece of whatever it was that he left me to eat for breakfast, to let him know I ate it and appreciated it. 

At one point he left behind a snickers bar, which I adored him for, and returned it by giving him a granola bar in return. 

It wasn’t hard to see that dinner was the highlight of the day for him. It made me wonder just how long he was by himself that something as silly as me throwing a rock would make him break out into a smile. 

He was a nice guy. 

The past few days, he had run into only one other group, this one was less hostile than the one from town. They pointed their guns at Morgan, that’s for sure. They didn’t know I had an arrow pointed their way but Morgan seemed to have talked them down, demonstrating that he was just on the road, and nothing more. One of the women of the group Morgan ran into seemed to talk down a few of the men that weren’t ready to believe Morgan. It was only when they put away their guns did I release all the tension from the bow, seeing I didn’t need to save him again.

What Morgan told those people had me a bit confused. How ‘all life was precious’. I was happy to see that I wasn’t the only one confused by that statement but it seemed to calm the group down some, even if what Morgan said was a bit absurd. 

People -like the bad man and the Governor- were out there killing other people just for the fun of it but their lives were still precious?

People like that can’t live. 

While the people from Terminus weren’t exactly good guys, they didn’t kill for the fun of it. They killed people to eat them. Not to laugh at the misery they felt.

Except maybe Oliver…

I shook my head at that thought, not wanting to remember much about that man to begin with. I looked over to see Morgan open his can of food, signalling to me that I could drop off my food, but I eyed him a bit more. My heart was pounding a little harder than normal but not because I was scared, more like nervous. I’m tired of sleeping up in a tree with a heavy bag to carry up and down it. It’s way too cold for just the jacket I was wearing and I didn’t have any luck on finding anything thicker than what I was wearing now.

I would have to go into an actual house to try and find something to wear at this rate but Morgan avoided houses like the plague for some reason. He walked on the road and turned in to sleep here in the woods. Gathering what nerve I had, I quietly made my way over to the campsite, not daring to walk straight up to it. Morgan looked around with a frown, expecting the sound of leaves rustling after tossing a rock, not expecting to hear silence. I hid behind the tree to his left, opposite from where that hiking stick was, waiting for a good moment to walk up to him. 

Seeming to look defeated, Morgan turned his attention to his meal, and I took that as my opportunity to walk up. I walked more towards his back to give me the chance to get under his walker alarm before letting him know I was there. Mindful of where I stepped, I ducked underneath the rope, warily watching him as he ate what looked like a can of tuna. I reached out and flicked one of the cans on the rope, alerting him I was there.

Morgan’s eyes snapped over and were startled to see me standing there so close. 

Neither one of us moved, not wanting to startle the other with any sudden movements. 

His eyes blinked over at me in surprise and I nervously shifted underneath his gaze. I probably looked like a mess. Covered in walker blood head to toe with just my face and hands clean of it, covered in dirt on top of that. The braid Michonne made, other than covered in the ickiness of what was the creepers lower half, was frizzed beyond belief the last time I saw my reflection. From up close, he didn’t look much different than what I was expecting him to look. He still wore his trench coat and shin guards but he looked a bit older up close than from the distance I was seeing him. About as old as Rick but not as old as Merle.

I noticed his eyes focus in on the bow I held tightly in one hand and tensed, wondering what he was thinking. He lowered his can of food, brow raised, “Rough day?”

A snort left me before I could stop it, a smile breaking out on my face as I moved to the other side of the firepit. I took off my bag and quiver, setting the bow next to me as I went to reach into the backpack, feeling his eyes burning the side of my face. I ignored it and pulled out a random can, I think it was the last one I got off from the men in town, and tore off the label of the minestrone soup. I set up my dinner by the fire and looked over it to see Morgan smiling over at me, not eating his can of tuna.

“It’s nice to put a face to who’s been following me the past few days,” He gestured over to me with the spoon he was eating with.

I shrugged, not really wanting to explain I was following him an extra day than what he thought. Instead, I huddled close to the fire, letting the warmth coming off it warm up my bones as my soup was cooking. He chuckled and resumed eating his tuna, not pushing me to talk to him. I sat up, holding my knees to my chest, trapping as much body heat as I could to myself as I watched the soup. 

My eyes were feeling heavy at finally being warm, ready to go to sleep, but I forced them to stay open. I didn’t have my dinner for one -which once I did it would be a losing battle- and the other was that while I trusted him enough to not steal my food or hurt me, I wasn’t sure about wanting to sleep on the floor after all. If I picked one of the trees inside his alarm system then I would be safe from anyone trying to reach me, Morgan included.

A poke on my shoulder had me jumping up, a bit disoriented, unaware of when my eyes closed. 

I swear I was awake!

“Easy,” Morgan soothed and my eyes shifted over to him, seeing that he was holding up both hands my way, wary as he was crouched by me. “Put the knife away, just woke you up so you can eat your soup. That’s all.”

I looked at him confused until I looked down at my right hand to see I was gripping my knife tightly, ready to defend myself. Feeling somewhat happy that I wouldn’t be completely defenseless, I sheathed the knife away, seeing Morgan lower his hands by his side. Seeing he wasn’t going to do something weird, I took the chance and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes before reaching for my bag again, taking out that cloth of his I’ve been using to hold the fire hot cans. 

Morgan let out a quiet laugh as he got up and moved back to where he was sitting originally. “You got spunk, that’s for sure.”

I said nothing as I spun the spoon around the minestrone soup and blew on the steaming hot soup. I looked over at the hiking stick of his, seeing one end a little sharper than the other, but it wasn’t as sharp as I thought. It was just narrow enough that it could break a walkers head if he slammed down on it. 

Morgan noticed what I was looking at. “You probably saw me in action with it, huh?”

I didn’t answer as I already tried to take a spoonful and ignored the burning hot liquid to the best of my ability as I swallowed it down. That needed a little bit longer to cool off on the spoon, that’s for sure. Morgan seemed to catch on I wasn’t going to talk so he continued talking as if I did. “As you saw, I don’t kill people. To me, all life is precious, and to be the one to decide who lives and dies is not up to me.”

I nodded, remembering he said something similar to the group from before. He gave me a reproachful look, “While I appreciate that you were watching my back, you didn’t need to kill that man.”

I squinted my eyes at that and simply replied, “Bad guy.”

Morgan gave a small smile at the first words I’ve said to him so far. “And if they were here, they would say that you were the bad guy.”

I’m pretty sure they would have pointed a gun at me right off the bat and demanded for my stuff too. Not like it matters anyway, walkers got them.

I shrugged and stirred the soup in the can some more, blowing cool air. 


	58. On the Road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is this Monday's chapter!
> 
> Thank you for comments and Kudos, they brighten up the week as they come.
> 
> I'm rereading and editing all chapters I have written up so far to make sure they all blend and mesh well. Sometimes I add a whole new section because I felt there were gaps in what I had written or even find more to right to try and expand a feeling. I've also made my own mini timeline because I don't know if it went over my head or if it was just me but how did everyone go from it's almost winter in Terminus to its suddenly summer by the time they got to Alexandria?

Taking in the streets around us as Morgan checked the map against a car, I read the names off of some of the small stores in the little plaza we were standing across, curious to see where we were. I glimpsed ‘Aiken Pediatrics’ and tilted my head at that word. I’ve been seeing a lot of ‘Aiken’ so I guess we were in a town called Aiken. I glanced around at the other stores till I spotted one with a mannequin, no longer standing upright at the store window. Hopefully, it had clothes my size but warmer than what I had now. I tugged on Morgan’s sleeve, catching his attention, taking the moment to look away from the map. I pointed over to the store and started to walk over, hoping that I would have some luck.

“Give me a moment to put the map away, I’ll go with you,” Morgan announced.

I stopped and waited, watching as he slid the map into an inside pocket before he started walking with me towards the little shopping plaza. His brow furrowed as he realized exactly which store I was walking towards. “Clothes?”

I stopped and held my arms wide open, my statement clearly made as a smile broke out on his face. “You definitely need clean clothes.”

“And warmer,” I added as I continued to walk into the store. 

“Warmer is definitely a good idea,” Morgan agreed as I heard him follow me.

We both stopped at the broken window, looking and listening for anything out of normal. I took the first step forward, careful of where my foot landed as I didn’t exactly trust my boots to stop glass in its tracks. I noticed Morgan’s hand from the corner of my eye ready to catch me in case I didn’t take the right step down. My foot landed just fine beside the large mess of shattered glass, crunching a few strays that slide away. I gripped Morgan’s hand as I swung over my other foot, not fully trusting myself. 

The last two days, I kept giving Morgan more opportunities to give me better reasons to trust him. I already trusted that he wouldn’t hurt me or take my food, which clearly was the most important. At one point, I left my bag with him to see what he would do and he didn’t even glance at it. I did it a second time, to see if that was a fluke but he still didn’t touch or look at my bag when I wasn’t around. The next day, I left behind my bow and quiver with the bag but before I even left, he told me to take them even if I was just taking a bathroom break.

Today was probably the most I spoke to him, even if it was a short answer. He just took it all in stride.

A voice that sounded suspiciously like Merle was telling me to trust no one, no matter what, but Morgan was an okay guy.

I took in the chaos that was the store. Tables were overturned, clothes scattered, mannequins were either thrown to the floor or torn apart. The racks that were on the floor barely seemed to survive the mayhem that happened in here. The only clue I had was what clearly was the body of a dead walker and a single rod piece sticking out of it’s head. The only thing that seemed to be perfectly fine and untouched were the items hanging on the sides of the wall.

Morgan tapped the staff- not a hiking stick as I’ve come to learn- against the fallen mannequin in front of us. We waited to hear any responding groan but nothing came of it. Feeling better about being in the store, I browsed the clothes that weren’t thrown to the ground for anything that resembled a sweater or perfect coat for the hot day and cool nights. Every long-sleeved shirt I spotted, I slipped a finger into the sleeve to see just how thin or thick the fabric was. 

I scanned the other side of the room, wondering if there were any clothes closer to my size than the ones I already spotted when my eyes landed on a jean jacket. Eyes sparkling, I drifted over to the jacket, taking in the grey sleeves and the strings I knew came with a hoodie. My fingers twitched to pull it off the hanger but I held in the urge, trying not to get overly excited unless it was my size. I checked for a tag and saw none before just tugging away at the zipper to see.

I growled at the size and checked to see the rest that was still there, not seeing my size. 

At all…

Huffing, I yanked the smallest size off the hanger anyway and unzipped my walker encrusted jacket to give it a shot. I ignored the snickering that was coming from Morgan and slipped on the hoodie jacket, immediately feeling warmer. Zipping it up, I moved around in it feeling the jacket was pretty loose and the sleeves were past my hands, but I’m going to make it work. I pulled my hands out and started to roll up the sleeves -something Mami had to do a lot as I grew- and felt a bit better.

“Happy?” Morgan asked, clearly amused.

“Yup,” I popped the ‘p’ as I answered him. I looked over my shoulder to see he had his arms crossed, staff cradled in an arm, eyes shining my way. I tilted my head, “I still need to clean up. I don’t want to keep wearing walkers blood.” 

Morgan nodded, “Alright, we’ll find a house and camp there for the night.”

I nodded in approval and looked around the store some more, wondering if there were any long-sleeved shirts I could trade for the short-sleeved t-shirts in my bag. Seeing nothing, I grabbed everything I had to take off my back to try on the jean jacket. Seeing that I was done, Morgan uncrossed his arms and walked out of the store first, scouting ahead for anything that changed since we went into the store.

I looked around the town as we walked away from the store. The buildings looked a little different than usual. I didn’t say anything, I kept quiet as I noticed Morgan pull out the map again to make sure we were heading the right way. As we kept walking, there were houses appearing not far from the road we were on. There were some walkers off in the distance in the neighborhood I was staring at and made a mental note not to go in that direction.

The sound of plastic rustling caught my attention and I looked to see Morgan holding out another protein bar my way. “You should eat something. Not healthy for a kid to eat so little. You’re tiny as is.”

I took the protein bar with a pout, “I’m just small.”

Can’t believe I have to go through this again…

“Small for what? Eight? Nine?” He probed and I blinked up in shock.

“You’re the first person to not say I’m five or six,” I blurted out. He shook his head with a smile, eyes squinting as he read the street signs. I unwrapped the protein bar and answered, “I’m eight.”

He looked down at me as I took my first bite, “Where’s your mom?”

“She turned,” I answered around a mouthful.

“Dad?”

“He went to help save Bethany at Grady Memorial.” 

Morgan stopped in his tracks and looked down at me. “If you knew where he was, then why didn’t you go?”

“Don’t know which way Grady Memorial was from where I was,” I shrugged, “I would just get lost trying to find them.”

“Who exactly are they?”

I froze up and looked over at Morgan. While I trusted him to not hurt me, I didn’t exactly want to tell him exactly who ‘they’ are. “They’re my family.” Was my general response. 

It wasn’t a lie, they are my family.

“Since Dad and the others went, I had to stay with Mich. Mich probably told him and the others that the walkers got me, so I got left behind,” I mumbled, taking another bite. I looked over his shoulder to see a walker was limping our way.

“Why would Mich think that?”

“I had maybe ten walkers chasing after me and by the time I climbed a tree it was almost fifty.” I frowned. “It didn’t help that I screamed when a walker almost did get me,” I added with a wince.

Morgan shifted in his spot, clearly uncomfortable, nearly growling, “Mich should have tried to help you.”

I looked carefully at the hint of anger I’ve seen in the man since I met him. I tilted my head at him with narrowed eyes, not pleased with the judgment he was giving Michonne -a woman he didn't even know. “Even with a baby?”

His eyes blew open, “A baby?”

“Yeah, little Judy,” I finished up the protein bar, eyeing the walker over his shoulder cautiously. It was moving pretty fast for a broken leg. Not sure if the man bled out from the way the bone was sticking out his pants leg or if he got bit by a walker trying to escape. “She’s probably just a year old now but I’d rather walkers chase after me than her with Judy. Judy's kinda a baby sister, ya know?”

He was silent for the moment, taking in what I said. The walkers hissing snarls were reaching my ears and I knew that Morgan heard it too. I decided to change the topic, “So where are we?”

Morgan stared at me some more before answering. “We just made it into South Carolina.”

I looked away from the walker in surprise over to Morgan, “Why South Carolina?”

A crooked grin came onto his face, “Looking for a friend.”

“Here in South Carolina?” I held back the excitement that was building in me. If he was heading north then that meant I could run into the others again along the way. That’s if he wasn’t staying here in South Carolina.

Morgan chuckled. “No, he’s probably closer to Virginia. I’m always a step or two behind him.”

“Huh,” I plucked an arrow and aimed towards the walker that was getting too close for comfort. I let it loose and saw the walkers head jerk back before dropping to the ground like a bag of rocks. Morgan looked over his shoulder before looking down at me.

“You’re really good shooting with that bow,” He remarked.

“Daddy taught me,” I bragged as I went to retrieve my arrow with a skip to my step.

And if I’m lucky, I’ll run into him sooner than later from the sounds of it.

* * *

Daryl rolled the small ring between his fingers as he has since Glenn had placed the item onto his hand with a solemn face. The turquoise stone mocked him. All he could see is the wild-haired girl pouting up at him as she spun the ring anxiously. This very ring that she snagged off a walker the last time she was chased by walkers in the woods. Seeing those big hazel eyes that perfected the kicked puppy image with her small frame. Those eyes that always guilted him into letting her curl up next to him before a small smile would spread across her face when he gave in. Those eyes that glinted mischievously as she teased Carl. The very same eyes that glittered when they were turned his way when he came home. He rolled the ring into the palm of his hand and closed his fist, remembering how she always reached for him.

_ "Daryl?" He heard the weak voice call out to him. _

_ He turned around to see the little girl struggling to sit up from the makeshift bed everyone compiled together as she recovered. Silently, he walked over and gently pressed on her back, "Stay still. Herschel don't want you moving around." _

_ She laid down without arguing, likely feeling the soreness from all the bruising her body had. She just rested her head on a pillow Carl found her and pulled the blanket underneath her chin. "Where are we?" She croaked out. _

_ "What ya mean?" He asked confused, brows furrowed. _

_ "Weren't we staying at the house?" She asked and he felt as if someone had reached up to his throat and squeezed to sharply cut off his air. "Why does everything hurt? It hurts. My leg hurts a lot," She sniffled, sounding as if she were ready to cry. _

_ "Ya don't remember?" He croaked out, kneeling down to carefully brush away the strand of hair by her bruised cheek.  _

_ "Did I do something bad?" She asked, eyes becoming hidden from the sea of tears she was keeping in from the pain.  _

_ But he also read the betrayal behind them... _

_ "No!" He immediately told her, rage filling as he took in the handprint on her face, "You did nothing wrong, ya hear? It was a bad man. Ain't ya fault." _

_ He rested one hand over the back of her head as the other clenched tightly with the anger filling his very being. He couldn't get the image of her curled up on the floor out of his head. How that letter opener stuck out from the middle of her leg. The man crouched down ready to grab her again -uncaring the pain she was in. The delight he seemed to have. She didn't deserve any of what happened to her. She was a fucking kid.  _

_ Even his old man didn't beat the hell out of him like this. Sure, he has scars on his back from when the belt buckle ripped into his skin but he wasn't the size of a toddler. His old man seemed to have enough sense to not nearly beat him to death even when he was deep into his bottles. As he got older, it was easier to hide everything without anyone figuring out what really happened behind the walls of his home. The neighbors at the trailer park knew but they weren't any better. He grew up knowing what an abusive home was like. Children like Cielo never have. She had the beginnings of a childhood he wished for. _

_ But her childhood now… _

_ His fingers were running through her hair as he gave her a small smile, "You're safe now, Bambi. I ain't gonna let ya get hurt again." _

_ "Promise?" She asked, her eyes staring deep into his soul, looking for the lie. It hurt to see she wasn't trusting him. As if he was partly responsible for what happened. _

_ And he did… _

_ He did blame himself as he believed he could have gotten to her sooner if he hadn't waited for the others to prepare. _

_ "I promise," he whispered. _

_ He felt a softer hand grip tightly to his pinky and looked down to see her small hand wrapped around his finger. He let her keep the tight grip and rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb, waiting for her to let go. He was surprised to see she pulled his hand to the cheek resting on the pillow instead, closing her eyes, entrusting him once again.  _

_ "Stay a little bit…I don't wanna be alone." _

* * *

I dried up my hair using the towels that were in the hallway closet, walking down the stairs in the dark, following the flickering light of candles in the living room. 

Once Morgan secured the house, he had me help him board up the house to hide any light from the walkers out in the neighborhood and booby trap the front and back door. The traps wouldn’t exactly hurt anybody but they can definitely give someone a headache for a week. When that was done, I took my turn checking out the house we were camping in for the night. I checked for any canned food, medicine, and clothes that would work.

This house I didn’t find any food or medicine in but I was lucky to find a whole room filled with clothes I fit in. I made Morgan anxious when he saw me bolting down the stairs and grabbing my bag, worried he somehow missed a room when he cleared it. I had to reassure him it was all fine and I was going to clean up with some of the well water we pulled. But before I did, I pulled everything out of my bag and tossed all the old clothes onto the floor in a corner. I picked two of everything I previously had. Two new jeans, two t-shirts, and two sweaters from the closet. 

Rounding the corner, I saw Morgan had cooked up the rabbit I caught earlier today, leaving my half on a plate. “Thank you,” I mumbled around a brush I had between my teeth as I continued to dry my hair with the towel. He looked up from what he was eating and laughed as he took me in. 

“Happy?”

“Very,” I nodded as I threw the towel onto a sofa chair that held my backpack, grabbing the brush I held between my teeth. I started to brush out the edges, knowing I couldn’t wait too long to brush out my hair as it would worsen as it dries, wincing at every knot it caught along the way.

Morgan flinched along with me, “Okay, stop, come here.”

I studied him with narrowed eyes, “No offense Morgan, but you don’t have hair to brush out.”

He chuckled, still motioning for me to come over. “No, but my wife did.”

I was still doubtful but I got up anyway. “She had curly hair?”

“Curlier than yours,” he defended.

“‘Kay,” I gave in and handed him the brush as I sat in front of him. “Fair warning, if it hurts worse than what I was doing, you’re never going near my hair again.”

Morgan let out a quick laugh, “Bossy thing, aren’t you?”

“A very smart bossy thing,” I jipped. 

He’ll learn...eventually...

I tensed as he passed the brush through my hair, waiting for the first knot to pull harshly against my scalp, but breathed out slowly as he gently worked through them. I stayed there until he managed to work the brush throughout my hair without a single knot to stop it in its tracks. I thanked him and put the brush in a side pocket of my bag.

Opening the second compartment I had stashed the books with the pictures, I pulled out the medical one for the night. The words were heavy enough to help put me to sleep after rereading it a couple of times. 

Morgan went to start eating his half of the rabbit, the sounds of the fork scraping against the plate reached my ears as I turned around. I chose to lay down near a candle, pulling my plate of rabbit close to me as I opened the book, ready to pick up where I left off. Morgan wasn’t much for silence when we were eating and I knew tonight wouldn’t be any different.

“What book are you reading?” 

Prepare to be amazed, Morgan…

“A book about medical emergencies.”

Silence…

“I’m sorry,” Morgan spluttered with a laugh, “medical emergencies?”

“Yeah, with everything going on, it’s good to know what to do,” I answered nonchalantly, somewhat tickled at his reaction. Guess he was going to learn sooner than I thought.

From the corner of my eye, I saw his mouth move to say more but nothing was coming out before he stopped, looking at the ground with a disbelieving laugh. Nodding, he looked back up at me skeptically, “Okay then, if you were a doctor, what patient would you help first? The one who-”

“Whoever has the life-threatening injury is always checked first. If it’s serious but not life-threatening they would go after but before someone who doesn’t have a serious injury,” I repeated from memory. The image of a grinning Herschel clapping in excitement in the infirmary flashed in my mind not long after that. I remembered giggling back at him and saying how easy that was to remember...

Morgan was silent, but shot another question at me, “Okay, how about the ABCs?”

“Airway, Breathing, Circulation,” I monotonously replied before looking over at him. “I was already taught anatomy of the body too. Before things got crazy I was going over surgical tools in case I needed to help out with a surgery.”

Morgan blinked in shock, his face turning blank, and I felt like he was having a mental meltdown.

“You’re eight,” he said. I wasn’t sure if it was to me or more to himself.

“I like to learn,” I replied calmly. “Grandpa suggested I learned from Herschel, he was our doctor. Said it would keep me out of trouble.” I tossed a bit of information to him.

“And what kind of trouble was that?” Morgan warily asked and I sighed, rolling my eyes, closing the book on a hand as a bookmark.

“It’s totally not my fault that there were walkers in the library and I also didn’t like how Lizzie was being mean to Uncle Merle. She didn’t have to treat him like trash. I know he isn’t an easy guy to get along with but she was the worst. She always tried playing with my hair even after I said no for one thing. And she was so manipulative too!” I defended myself.

Morgan’s face was still impassive. I tilted my head nervously, wondering if he was okay, if he was still here or mentally in a different place. Before I said anything, he let out a loud laugh that startled me at how sudden it came. Nervously, I looked over to the windows that we threw the dark comforters over, listening for any of the walkers outside. “Shhh!” I hissed at him. “Walkers will hear you.”

He smothered his laughs, eyes twinkling with glee before he let out a long sigh, “That’s a relief.”

Now I was confused, “What is?”

Morgan grinned over at me. “No matter how smart a kid is, they’re always a kid.”

“Thanks?” I blinked, unsure if that was a compliment or not. I went to lay back down to read my book when Morgan pointed at my untouched plate.

“Eat your food. We have another long day tomorrow.”

I nodded, pulling the plate over and lifting the rabbit by its back leg before taking a bite of the cooked meat, not bothering with the fork and knife like Morgan. "You're going to get grease stains in that book," Morgan warned.

I put the rabbit back onto the plate before licking my fingers from said grease, "No grease."

Morgan laughed but went back to his meal. We both ate our foods silently after that, which was somewhat surprising, but it was likely to help Morgan from having another shock at anything else that came out of my mouth. I couldn’t really complain as I was able to read the first half of the chapter before my eyes started to blur the words.

A yawn escaped me as I closed the book. Groggily, I sat up and went to take my plate into the kitchen when I realized it was already gone. I looked around, a bit confused, and saw Morgan was already laying down on the large sofa with a comfy-looking comforter to keep him warm. His head tilted to the smaller sofa against the wall. “Put you a pillow and blanket on that one.”

I tiredly nodded to let him know I heard what he said, mumbling out something I wasn’t a hundred percent sure was ‘thanks’ or not, and blew out the candle in front of me. I got up and dropped the book on top of my stuff and went straight for the other sofa in the living room, unfolding the soft blanket and curled into the cushions, adjusting my damp hair over the pillow. My eyes closed immediately as I pulled up the blanket, tucking it under my chin, but I was still aware of the sounds from the window behind me. 

Loud growls were echoing in the night as the walkers scoured the neighborhood for anything to eat.

* * *

“He didn’t!” I gasped in shock, staring wide eyes at Morgan as he laughed.

“Oh, he did.” Morgan shook his head at the memory. “Jenny was so mad when she got home.”

I rolled my eyes. “Leave it to boys to think they can pull that off. My cousin Gabriel said he didn’t hear anyone call for him from the treehouse and Carl-os,” I drawled remembering the name I switched it to, “did the same thing to his mom when we were on a farm. Just up and left all the time. At least Duane was next door. Carlos would go into the woods and disappear for a long time.” 

“So you didn’t disappear on your parents?” Morgan raised a brow. The sun was shining down hard on us this morning, so he had his hood up to protect his head from burning under the sun. I was happy that I picked another shirt from the room I did my clothes swap because I’m sure I was going to sweat through this one already.

Ignoring the heat, I thought of any moment where I possibly gave Mami or Daryl a heart attack from doing a disappearing act of my own. I was about to answer him when a quick memory of me sneaking into the trunk of a car victoriously came to mind. “No,” I shook my head, “they always knew where I went.”

And it wasn’t a lie. Daryl knew exactly where I appeared from that day.

Morgan looked at me dubiously and I shrugged my shoulders. “Fine, don’t believe me but compared to Carlos, I’m an angel.”

Morgan snorted, “That’s what all the troublemakers say.”

I gaped in shock, “Am not!”

Did he figure me out already?

My half-hearted glare was worthless against Morgan as a large smile slapped itself on his face. “I’m willing to bet that if we ever run into your Dad, he would say otherwise.” 

I pouted as I looked ahead, knowing that it wouldn’t be just Daryl telling him I was trouble with a capital T. Merle would happily give him all the scenarios as Rick would add in specific details to each one since they were so buddy-buddy now. Tara and Eugene would then add in on how I terrify them. Abraham would tell him how I just batted my eyes his way into tricking him to answer all of my questions. Glenn would say how I practically blackmailed him into getting not just me some sweets but comics for both Carl and I.

After putting all that together, I can kinda see why people say I’m trouble, but I’m sticking to my guns. 

I’m the  _ fun _ kind of trouble.

Sighing, I looked at the endless road ahead of us, wondering just exactly how much further it would talk for us to get to Virginia. I turned to look up at Morgan, squinting my eyes as the sun got in them. “How many miles till we get to Virginia?”

“About four hundred miles, give or take.” He answered me before slowing down a bit. “Let’s take a break here.” He took off his bag and placed it between his legs as he sat down on the side of the road. I followed his lead, taking off my backpack and felt instant relief at taking the heavy bag off my back, setting it right next to him. I stretched my arms above me and looked around the empty road, doing my best to ignore the sun's rays beating down on me, wiping some of the sweat I felt on my forehead off.

It was too warm for fall...

I was going to sit next to my backpack when I spotted four bright yellow flowers off to the side of the road and grinned. I walked over, aware of Morgan’s watchful gaze as I plucked all four dandelions off the ground, coming back over and handing him two of them. Morgan took them, unsure of why I was giving him a common weed until I bit off the flower from the dandelion. I was shocked that the flower was sweet, not really believing the book when I read it, and it definitely had a crunch to it. It still had a leafy aftertaste that plants had.

Morgan stared at me in surprise. “Did you just eat a dandelion?”

“They’re edible plants.” I shrugged, biting the edge of the leaf experimentally as it was supposed to be bitter. I scrunch my face at the bitterness of the leaf the dandelion had. “You can eat the entire dandelion. Flower is sweet and crunchy. The bad news is that this dandelion’s been around for a while because the leaves are really bitter.”

Morgan skeptically looked at the dandelions I had given him. “And where did you learn that?”

“I have another book in my backpack. It’s about edible wild plants and fungi.” I shot him an exasperated look before he would scold me about it. “And no, I don’t plan on eating any random mushroom. Those are trickier than plants and berries.”

Morgan’s eyebrows shot up underneath the hood. “You learned how to eat a dandelion from a book?”

“Yup,” I popped the ‘p’, “it says you can cook with it, make tea, and even wine. I like the notes that say what can be used for colds, rashes, and whatnot.” I took another bite of the leaf as the bitterness wasn’t as much of a shock anymore.

Morgan shifted his gaze to the two dandelions in his hand before trying it out himself, seeing as I almost finished the first one. With one bite of the flower, he slowly chewed, his face slowly changing with every bite and I couldn’t help but giggle at that. I started at the leaves first for the second one, looking around for any stray walkers that would pop out from the woods as I sat down. When Morgan took a hesitant bite of the leaf, he quickly turned his head and spat it out, making me break out into a loud laugh.

He turned to look over at me with a horrified face, “How can you eat that?”

I shrugged, “Try not to taste it too much.”

He nodded before asking something else, “If the whole thing can be eaten, why aren’t you eating the roots?”

I blinked at him. “For one, it’s covered in dirt.” He snorted out a laugh at the obvious. “Secondly, the book said it can substitute for coffee but it didn’t say exactly how, so that’s why I’m leaving it alone.”

“Really?” The surprised tone didn’t shock me. I was surprised about that fact when I read it myself.

“That’s what the book said. Don’t know how true it is.” I popped the dandelion flower into my mouth as I enjoyed the sweet explosion with each crunch.

“But you trusted it enough to eat a dandelion?” he chortled. 

“Herschel wouldn’t give me a book he wouldn’t trust,” I explained to Morgan, confident in the knowledge Herschel would never lead my astray. 

Morgan leaned back against the large backpack of his, "What other plants can we eat?"

"We can eat chickweed, cattails, acorns-" I listed off some easy to find plants when Morgan laughed.

"Cattails?"

"Yeah, you can't just eat them like a dandelion though. We actually have to cook it. It had a picture of what the inside looks like and it looks like you can make a pillow out of it." I informed him. I'm sure it's funny to see thousands of seeds suddenly explode all over the place if someone tried eating one raw. 

"Huh," Morgan crossed his arms over his knees, twirling the uneaten dandelion. “Well aren't you a MacGyver."

A who?

The confusion clearly was on my face and his grin widened. "A show back when I was a kid. He found a way to fix everything."

"Oh," was my robotic reply.

He didn't say anything but tilted his head, "Take a seat. It'll be a while when we take another break."

I agreed and sat down, pulling off the jean jacket to get some of the cool breeze on my arms. 

* * *

A whine escaped Judith, wiggling around in Rick’s arms, looking over his shoulder as everyone walked along the road. Carl tiredly smiled at her, running a gentle finger over her cheek, quietly shushing her. Rick looked over his shoulder, "Wanna hold her?"

Carl nodded and Rick easily handed her over to his son. Judith calmed down a bit at the switch but the frown was still there. Carl whispered into Judith’s ear to keep her occupied, knowing she likes someone talking to her when going place to place. There were only two people who did so on a regular basis and both were gone. Carl was silent for a moment, his whispers to Judith halted, and the walk to Noah’s community continued in silence. 

Michonne sadly looked at the teen when he stopped, knowing where his mind went, feeling the same pang of sadness in her chest. At times she couldn't sleep as the echoes of her screams rang in her ears as if the scream just left the little girl's lips. Judith had gotten used to the older girl's playful antics. Michonne's eyes drifted over to the two Dixon men who were understandably taking things harder than the rest. 

Merle seemed to revert to the rash, ill-tempered, uncaring man from the beginning. He snapped at the others so often that it took Daryl, Rick, and Abraham to put a complete stop to it. Gabriel the usual target. It was a silent decision to let Daryl be the one to communicate and deal with Merle to avoid those flare-ups. Whatever Daryl seemed to say helped reel in the older Dixon.

Daryl -on the other hand- had shut down. When he carried Beth’s body out from the hospital, he felt like he was a complete failure -as he constantly convinced himself. Failed to protect Beth from being taken by the people of Grady Memorial and now he failed to bring her back alive. The feeling increased more so when Maggie was out those hospital doors, falling to her knees in despair. 

As if adding salt to the wound, both men were told about Cielo, how a horde of walkers got a hold of her. Neither one dared to believe it, stating that they needed to go back, both ready to attack Gabriel for her being in danger in the first place. Michonne tried to gently explain to both men that she was gone. What nailed the topic to a close was when Glenn told them he went to check, confirming that she was gone, handing Daryl the ring she wore when they shut down. 

It was heartbreaking for Maggie to lose her last living relative but it was far more heartbreaking to see two men, who always stood tall, to break down as well. What hurt more is that she was just a child who trusted them -who she constantly claimed as her family- to keep her safe. Michonne and the others weren’t sure exactly what Cielo the last words were between the Dixon’s and the child they adopted into their family unit, but it clearly haunted both men.


	59. Inner Turmoils

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is Monday once again!  
> We are now in March where it's technically the 1 year anniversary of lockdown on the US side of things because of COVID19.
> 
> Thank you for your Comments and Kudos, and please be cordial when asking opinions of why another sees a different viewpoint. I'm coming to the decision of sticking mostly to the show as it saves me timewise and gives me a visual of what I am writing at times when rewatching episodes/videos. Remember that the show/movie we watch is generally 100x better coming from the comic/books it may originate from. 
> 
> We lose details from comics/books to the shows/movies that they are translated in.
> 
> Hope this month is better than last years and we get closer to normalcy.

Morgan and I stayed hidden behind the solid fence, carefully keeping track of the group of people that were on the other side, not sure if they were friendly or not. There were too many to take the chance. Whoever these people were they didn't care if others ran into them. Or if walkers found them. They were talking loudly and laughing harder at the jokes being told. Daring anything or anyone to come near them.

I barely caught a glimpse of them but what I did see was enough to pull out my own handgun. It wouldn't be much of a match against multiple semi-automatics but it was better than a bow and arrow or staff. Morgan gave me a warning look. "Put that away," he quietly ordered me.

I glared up at him and spoke back just as quietly with more anger, "I'm not going to die because  _ you _ want them to live. They have guns and I have mine."

Morgan gave me a scolding frown that didn't let up and I clicked my tongue against my teeth. "Fine, I shoot if they shoot. Happy?"

The look lessened but he still wasn't happy with that answer. I huffed and went back to listening for the group of men that were looking through the house on the other side of the fence. I was wishing there was a tiny hole in the fence to see if all of them were inside or if they left a few people outside to keep an eye out on the neighborhood. It would make life easy for us to keep going on but if life has taught me anything in the last year, life isn't easy. Let alone kind. 

I tightened my grip on the gun, my palms starting to get sweaty, listening for sudden sounds. I noticed Morgan’s hand move and saw that he was pointing to head back from where we came from. Nodding, I kept the gun low and started to sneak off in the direction we came from, figuring Morgan was going to have us take a turn a few blocks further from this group. His boots were loud when he moved to my side, blocking me from the other group's view before he stopped me by grabbing my shoulder, pointing towards a fence with some broken boards.

I did what he asked and cautiously took a look into the backyard, checking for any of the dead, not hearing a single sound. Silently asking for Mami to keep an eye out for me, I took the dive and leaped into the broken fence, extremely tense for a surprise coming around the corner. A relieved sigh escaped me as I walked further into the backyard looking back to see Morgan was having a little bit more difficulty getting through the fence. I was about to offer to hold his backpack so he could get in easier when he finally got both feet through. 

He scanned the yard, moving quickly without any hesitation, and gently pushed me towards the other end of the yard, where he unlatched the gate after looking over the fence. I bounced nervously between the ball and heel of my foot as he did, unsure where we were going, especially if this meant we weren't heading along the route to DC. If we don't go along the same way then we might completely pass by the others. 

If we do, I'll never see them again…

I won't have my family.

I won't have Daryl. 

I won't have my dad…

Morgan kept moving silently -silent for him anyway- unaware of my mental turmoil and I followed closely behind as we navigated the neighborhood that wasn't just full of walkers but people too. I let Morgan deal with the walkers we ran across as he had the staff to take them out -fast and quietly. He kept note of where we were going so we wouldn't get too turned around. I was too anxious to not keep looking over my shoulder for any sneak attacks. 

A hand clamped onto my arm and I jumped, head-spinning to see who -or what- it was, and growled when I saw it was Morgan pulling me into another yard. I nearly walked by him so it was partly my fault for not paying attention but I didn't like any of this. All the uncertainties. I don't know how the others did this whenever they had to do runs.

Except for Merle…and Abraham.

Those two lived off this kind of thing. Abraham being trigger happy in the train tunnel and knowing Merle enough that he would do the same, it has to be some ex-army thing. 

I don't know. They're crazy.

I checked out this yard, it seemed to be more inviting than the other one which was just a plain yard. This one had a pool and a firepit. It isn't hard to imagine that this was a family that enjoyed their yard year-round. I barely remembered how fun it was to even swim in a pool. The idea of running up to a pool with the same excitement as before filled me with anxiety. Be too loud and the walkers would pile up outside those fences. If it won't be walkers, it'll be other people trying to take what we have.

Definitely not the same anymore…

I frowned at the yard that clearly was filled with memories. Memories that were long forgotten or long gone, depending on if those that were here managed to survive the year, let alone the first few months. I sighed, looking to see where Morgan was before I got any more depressive thoughts.

I found him peeking into the back window, trying to jiggle the window open, get us out of the open. Seeing the sliding door to the back, I walked over, figuring to try the obvious first. As soon as my hand touched the handle a walker slammed into the clear sliding door, snarling. The sight and sound did startle me but once I forced my beating heart to calm, I glared at the female walker, annoyed. 

The walker kept slamming into the glass door, smudging it. The sound of it slamming into the glass door for some reason just kept raising my anxiety but I figured it to be because any noise is an attraction for trouble. Pieces of its skin came off each time the female walker made contact with the sliding door, unseeing milky white eyes focused so intently on me on the other side, blackened teeth snapping at me.

Switching the gun for the knife, I waited a little longer to see if another walker would appear from the excited growls and felt better at not seeing one join her. I began to pull the sliding door slowly. As I did, the door slid open without much effort, the female walker tried to get out. As much as it squeezed to push past the door, I held the door closed for as long as I could, before ripping the sliding door open. 

Completely unbalanced, the walker fell face forward to the ground, clutching at the patch of grass it landed on to get up. I didn’t want to take too long and jabbed the knife into the base of her skull, body completely coming to a stop. Grimacing as I pulled the knife out, I bent down to wipe my blade on the walkers dress, not having anything to clean the blade with on me. Letting out a breath of air, I saw Morgan’s boots from the edge, feeling the weighted stare.

"Door was open," I informed him, turning to go inside the house, knowing he would be right behind me.

I took in the kitchen decorations, seeing group and individual pictures of the family that was here on the side of the refrigerator, the easter yellow walls making the room brighter. Too cheerful for the world out these doors. I overlooked the rest of the room, looking for a pantry, happy that we could check for more food. 

Keeping the grip on the hunting knife, I knocked on a door that I was guessing to be the pantry, just in case it actually was a basement with a walker. I waited. And waited. Hearing nothing, I dared to open it slowly, waiting to see if anything would push against the door.

But nothing happened.

The door creaked open and revealed what was a pantry filled with food. I grinned over at Morgan, expecting to see one of his smiles thrown my way at our turn of luck, but it faded. He didn't pay any attention to what I was doing, more focused on looking out the window, keeping watch of his own. Feeling a bit disappointed, I decided to just let him know. "Pantry is full."

He finally turned to look at me before looking out the window again, "It's getting late and that group might still be moving around. We're staying the night."

"'Kay," I answered, a bit monotonous, turning back to the cans we had available for dinner. “Chili for dinner or frijoles?”

“Free-what?” Morgan’s head snapped over to me, confused.

I raised a brow, “Frijoles? Beans?”

He squinted his eyes, scrutinizing me a bit. “Didn’t think you spoke Spanish?”

“My name is Cielo,” I deadpanned, looking at him with disbelief, “that should be a huge clue.”

“Never heard you speak it,” he tried to defend himself.

“Would you understand me if I did?” I countered. 

We both stared at each other before a wry grin spread on his face. “No, suppose not.”

I rolled my eyes, a small smile coming onto mine, “Chili or Frijoles. I call dibs on the pineapples.”

Morgan chuckled as he moved away from the window and walked over to the pantry, scanning at the options we have. “I don’t know about you but it’s been a while since I had some chili.” He grabbed the large can out of the pantry, “Grab some spices out of that spice rack over there and I can whip us up a mean chili soup.”

The image of tiny bottles sprinkling out different flavors into the chili made my mouth water. Something resembling close to an actual meal was more than exciting. It’s an actual treat in itself. “Sounds good,” I swallowed the saliva that built up in my mouth. 

Maybe I should swipe some from the spice rack?

“Let  _ me  _ check the rest of the house,” Morgan stressed, clearly not happy about me dealing with the walker. I pouted up at him but the scolding look I was getting didn’t waver. “Then we get the house boarded up and we’ll go from there,” Morgan suggested, setting the can of chili back into the pantry. 

“I can handle a few walkers myself ya know,” I grumbled to him as he was walking out of the kitchen and towards the living room. He stopped, letting out a deep sigh, and turned around.

“You’re eight,” He stated, his free hand moving to the side. “How are you perfectly fine dealing with the dead?”

“Walkers are always terrifying but  _ not _ stopping the ones you can is worse.” I shrugged, thinking back to the horde at the farm and the number of walkers building up along the prison’s fence daily. “It just means it’s another one still walking the earth, adding to the thousands that already exist, still being made. Better to take one walker at a time out of this world to make it safer.” I thought back to Dale, how he was gasping for air, belly torn open. Patricia being ripped from Beth’s own hands to be eaten right in front of us. Herschel having to lose his leg to keep him as the old man we loved. How T-Dog, Andrea, and Bob served a death sentence from a mere bite.

“Maybe one day we won’t have to worry about them ever again,” I whispered, hopeful that the amount of walkers roaming the earth would one day become some kind of scary story for kids. How one day -the idea of hundreds and thousands of walkers existing at the same time- would be nothing but a fairytale.

It was silent for a moment. 

Morgan was still taking in my words before he asked another question. “And people? How can you kill them without any remorse?”

I blinked in shock before I glared at him. “Remorse for what? Making sure that  _ my _ family -people that  _ I  _ care about- come back alive?”

“They have people who care about them too!” Morgan argued, pointing at the ground as he was scolding me.

“Like the kind of men who demanded  _ your _ gun and  _ your _ bag?” I countered eyes narrowed into slits, feeling furious. “They looked so friendly with  _ their _ guns pointed at you.”

“And  _ you _ killed one of them!” He shouted at me.

“Because he was going to shoot you!” I shouted back, getting aggravated that he was worrying about some man who clearly meant to cause him harm. How could he not see that? I know he went on about ‘life is precious’ but he has to know that there are boundaries to that idea. If one doesn't consider your life to be precious then why should you extend the same courtesy? 

“You are not God to decide who lives and dies,” Morgan stressed, just as agitated as I was.

“No, you’re right,” I agreed with him, holding back the anger I felt, “because if I was, then walkers wouldn’t exist and none of this would ever happen.”

It was quiet between the two of us and I bit the inside of my cheek from saying anything else. I don’t know how he got to this idea of his but what he wants and what I’ve seen are two different things. I pushed away from the pantry and angrily strode further into the first floor of the house, needing to get away from Morgan. I probably took a total of ten steps when Morgan said something once more.

“What made you think I wasn’t a ‘bad guy’ like them?” 

I looked over my shoulder, seeing him have a stoic expression on his face, clearly wanting to know. “You left me a granola bar without knowing who I was. Bad people would have hunted me down for the can,” I huffed and kept going.

* * *

Merle ignored Maggie as she was yammering on about trying to get himself killed. Daryl already chewed him out for it but it seemed that someone other than his baby brother felt the need to do the same. He leaned against the tree and wiped off the blood that was on his face from the walkers that he slashed at with his machete, uncaring about the blood on his shirt. When he stopped hearing the high-pitched voice going off on him, he cooly looked over, "Ya done, Peaches?"

Her eyes narrowed into slits as an incredulous scoff came out of her. Maggie shook her head, "You are  _ unbelievable _ ! Do you seriously not care how you nearly got eaten by walkers?"

"I ain't gonna go belly up anytime soon," Merle shrugged. "I'll go when I decide to go, ain't no other man -livin' or dead- get to pick for me."

Glenn grabbed Maggie’s shoulders and pulled her away, "Come on. You already said what needed to be said."

Maggie scoffed once more but let Glenn pull her away, knowing that if she was to say more he would only ignore what she said, assuming he even listened to what he had just told him. Abraham watched the entire interaction and only calmed when he saw the older Dixon wasn’t going to fly off the handle. He learned even one-handed the man gave as good as he got. He took his eyes off the other man when he saw he went to set up camp for the night. Abraham wasn't a fan of the others out scavenging this late at night but he knew the necessity of gathering what food can be found to prevent them from overusing their current rations.

Carl was helping Carol grind up some acorns to hold them over. Both watched everything silently but ready to jump back and get Judith away from the fight that would have entailed if Merle was in a foul mood. Glenn had Maggie come over to help him set up the fire for the night to keep warm as the night continued to cool.

Gabriel shifted in his spot by the fallen log, eyes on Merle’s shoulder, unable to see how much the man was suffering. "I'm sure Cie-"

" _ Don't  _ ya dare say her name to me," Merle snarled, eyes darkening as they landed onto the priest. "I don't need no yellow-bellied nigger to tell me what ya think she would say or do."

Gabriel immediately looked away, lips frowning into a thin line, fear creeping along his spine as the dark look was shot his way. He saw Merle lift away from the tree from the corner of his eyes.

"That girl was worth more than yer pathetic life, ya hear?" Merle growled. "Maybe I'll toss ya to the next diseased fuck that come strollin' right up here, watch it tear ya limb from limb." Merle threatened as he prowled closer to Gabriel who hadn't moved. Gabriel began to break into a sweat, knowing that it wasn't an idle threat coming from the grieving man, fear tightening its grip on his throat as the image came to mind. 

He could see himself begging the two Dixon’s for help as the dead began to surround him. He could smell the rotting corpses as they neared him, cold fingers tightly grabbing hold of his arms and shoulders, ghastly moans whispering in his ears. Eyes resembling that of dry ice watching on as he was being pulled in all directions -screaming with fear.

Until the first bite would come.

Then the next.

And the next.

And the next.

Knowing that every nerve in his body would be on fire. The feel of his clothes tightly pressing down on his skin before it was torn away. The synapses in his brain begging his body to run. Feeling the walkers pull him down as they began to loom over him. Desperate to get away. Seeing both men stare down at him with satisfaction right before a skeletal face came into his vision.

Gabriel pulled at the collar of his neck feeling not enough air was reaching his lungs. He hadn't realized that Abraham was already blocking Merle from reaching him. He made the mistake of looking at the enraged face, feeling death brush the nape of his neck at the look, the promise held in his stare.

"All ya had to do was keep yer fuckin' ass in that cozy chapel of yers," Merle spat at him. "If ya kept yer ass where it was then she wouldn't have been-" his voice wavered but that was the end of his words. Merle pushed off from the redhead and walked off into the woods uncaring if he ran across more of the dead. He needed the space.

Once he felt he was deep enough, Merle took a deep breath, reaching up to the jasper the little girl had gifted him, doing his best to not fall apart. He closed his eyes and sighed.

_ He sighed contently as he basked in the sun for warmth. He did his rounds of watch. He took the rotting piles of corpses out to get burned. It was a good November day. There was nothin- _

_ He wheezed as a body slammed down onto his chest, eyes snapping open to see a mischievous face smiling up at him, eyes sparkling with mirth. Growling, Merle went to yell at the annoying brat when she grabbed his face in both of her hands and squeezed his face together. _

_ "Merle," she sang, "you promised that you would teach me how to twist an arm, remember?" _

_ Merle pushed her hands off his face and snarled, "Don't need to teach ya shit! Git off!" _

_ She ignored him and wrapped her thin arms around his neck, rubbing her cheek against his, "But **Uncle** Merle," she protested, "you promised. You can't break promises to your favorite niece." _

_ He glared as she batted her eyes sweetly at him. "Girl," Merle began, "my baby brother might like ya but ya ain't my problem. Now git." _

_ "Hmm," she hummed with a head tilt, curls pinned on the top of her bouncing with the movement, "nope. You're warm," she struck a kiss to his cheek before rubbing her cheek against his again, "and I'm cold." _

_ "Girl-" Merle growled but he heard his saving grace. _

_ "Cielo, get off that man and leave him alone!" Shep yelled out from across the field. "Ya've been winding up that man's nerve with you the past week!" _

_ Cielo pulled away from him with a pout, "But-" _

_ "The only 'but' I see is yours when I give it a whooping!" Shep threw out the empty threat. _

_ Cielo looked back at him with defeat, "Fine." _

_ Merle rested his head back on the ground until he let out a grunt- feeling a foot purposely push down on his gut as they jumped off. He sat up as he heard Cielo’s feet thundering up the field before coming to a stop, spinning on her heel with a devilish grin. Merle glowered at the small girl as she clasped her hands behind her sweetly. _

_ "See, I can sneak up on you when I wanna now," she proudly stated before sticking her tongue out at him and running up the hill.  _

_ Merle looked up at the hill seeing Shep not bothering to hide the smirk as he took in the dirt stain the size of his granddaughter's foot on Merle’s white wife-beater. Merle shook his head, brushing off what he could, groaning as he got up seeing as his moment of peace was ruined. _

* * *

It was a bit strained since that mini argument. 

Morgan constantly tried to gear me towards peacefully resolving situations with other people. I kept reminding him I will give the same courtesy that would be shown to me. If I’m having a gun pointed in my face then I’ll point mine in theirs. 

_ Then _ we could talk.

There was a brief moment where we walked into another group, thankfully a small one, and he wanted to prove that he was right. I let him do things his way but I kept a hand on the gun that was hidden in my waistband underneath a nearly bulging backpack. They likely thought I was holding onto the bag because why would a little kid have a gun on top of a bow and knife?

At first, I handed it to Morgan, thinking that he was handling everything like he said he would when I noticed one of the men reaching for the handgun he had holstered. I pointed it out to Morgan, letting the man know I clearly knew what he was doing, and he just brushed my worry aside saying I was too distrustful. The other four people in the group must have taken the reach as a signal because, at that point, I noticed they all were reaching for a gun, but I already had mine in hand.

I shot two before Morgan actually did something, fighting the other three with his staff, knocking guns out of hands and -what I’m starting to call- lovetaps to the head.

I looked at the three unconscious people he kept alive where he stared at the two that I killed. He looked devastated, as if he personally knew these people, mourning for the lives that they had. Lives that he didn’t even know and acted as if they weren’t about to cause  _ us _ any physical harm.

I was so frustrated that when I leaned forward to check their pockets for lighters -the need to just leave Morgan behind with his philosophy growing by the day- he actually pointed his staff at me. I clucked my tongue at him and reached for the pockets, luckily finding a lighter, and strode off in the direction we were heading in. If  _ I _ continued to be lucky, they got devoured by walkers like the other three back in Georgia.

All I needed now, was a map.

But I don’t know where to get said map, let alone the one he keeps in his pocket all the time. I couldn’t exactly swipe that off him. Morgan was too light of a sleeper to even try. He hasn't even let me look at it for some reason. Just says that I might rip it.

I kicked a pebble back onto the dirt and off the road we currently were walking along, passing the sign for North Carolina about fifteen minutes ago, unsure how many more states we had to go past. When he first said we had to walk almost four hundred miles, I knew it was a lot, but this was both ridiculous and exhausting. 

Sighing, I looked at the back of Morgan’s head. "How many more states till we get to Virginia?"

"One," Morgan gave a clipped response before he seemed to think it over and replied once more softly, "still a ways to go."

"How many miles is that?" I asked, scared to hear the answer but needing to know. 

"About three hundred and thirty miles to go."

I felt my eyes popping out of my head, "I swear we walked three hundred already!"

Morgan kept walking, focused on the road that was surrounded by woods. "We probably have just not three hundred miles directly to where we're going."

A long whine escaped me. "This is the worst…"

Morgan started laughing, finally sparing a look behind him to look at me. "It's only been a week."

I gaped at him, "You and I are clearly counting differently. It's been  _ exactly  _ thirteen days."

Morgan’s head jerked back, "That many days already?" He looked ahead again, tilting his head slightly, "Guess days are just becoming a blur. Three days turn to one."

"Or two weeks became one," I huffed at him, amazed how time just goes by so slow for him. For me, it's been dragging!

Morgan’s smile stayed on his face this time. Except this one was more of a reminiscing smile. I've come to learn he had that smile when he is remembering something his son, Duane, or his wife, Jenny, had done. I didn't dare interrupt the memory. He always came out of it in a better mood and it's better than the gloomy one I've been seeing all because I shot two people who were going to hurt us.

I tiredly trudged on, scanning the sides of the woods for anything that can be eaten, plant or animal. We still had enough canned food for another few days but if I could find something to eat in-between I'd take it. It means we can push eating the canned food further out. Something Morgan agrees with as the road we were on wasn't developed for miles. 

He did warn that the closest city wasn't for another hundred and eighty miles. At the rate we've been going that would be another four to five days walking along this road. It took us nearly two weeks to get out of North Carolina avoiding other people and huge clusters of walkers. He changed the route halfway because a whole herd was on the road, adding to the time we spent in South Carolina-which I can't blame him for. If we had the same luck here- exact same luck we had in South Carolina- then that meant it would be another two weeks to get out of North Carolina.

A whole month of being away from the others.

A whole month where they can disappear _anywhere_ if they haven't already.

A month without teasing Carl. A whole month without playing with Judith, blowing raspberries into her belly. A month without me annoying Merle and him annoying me. An entire month of not being curled up to Maggie or Carol for any girl talk that I need to be answered. No Glenn to occasionally surprise me and Carl with candy or comics. No Michonne to play with my hair to calm me down when my anxiety starts getting too much. A month of Rick being overworked without remembering to take time to himself. And a month without the closest thing to a Dad I've ever had...

A whole month of them thinking I was dead…

"You okay?" Morgan asked and I looked up just as I bumped into him. Grunting in pain, I backed up a bit and looked to see a deep frown on his face.

"Yeah," I nodded, wondering why he asked.

He softly smiled at me, almost as he felt pity for me, "You're crying."

Damn eyes, all they do is cry.

I quickly wiped them off, feeling the wet trials spread across my face in my attempt to dry them. "I'm okay, really. I cry too easy sometimes."

Morgan snorted, leaning on his staff a bit, "You're a tough kid. I haven't seen you cry once." He tilted his head at me. "You looked like you came out of a horror movie with all that dead man’s blood on you that day in the woods."

"Pfft," I rolled my eyes, "Uncle Merle says I cry too much sometimes -and I really do. I didn't even know I was crying until you said something." I started to walk, not wanting to waste more time. 

Morgan followed me, keeping up with my pace compared to before where I kept up with his. "People don't start crying without a reason."

I stayed quiet, eyeing the road for potential food, debating how to even start. If I even wanted to start. Was it worth even telling him something that he can't fix anyway?

"Cielo?" He pressed, clearly not wanting to let the topic go. 

"I'm just tired and overthinking things," I answered, deciding that I didn't want to get into it. Not like he can do anything different than what he already was -which is taking me as close to Washington DC as he could. Maybe the person he was looking for knew where Eugene would try to bunk down to make that cure of his.

Morgan hummed, not saying anything else at the moment, clearly not believing me. The silence between the both of us extended a good few minutes and just when I thought he dropped it, he asked. "Overthinking what?"

I looked over to see his eyes were scrutinizing. Trying to see, to think, what would upset little ol' me. I frowned at him, keeping it vague so he would understand that I didn't want to talk about it. "Everything."

His mouth twisted slightly as his head bobbed up and down, going along with my answer. "That is a lot to overthink about." I turned to look away as he turned an eye my way. "Definitely a lot for a little kid."

"I'm little but being a kid is debatable," I mumbled to him.

A sound that was a mix of a laugh and a scoff escaped Morgan and my head snapped over to him at the strange sound. Morgan seemed startled at the noise that left his mouth himself before looking at my baffled face, breaking out into a deep laugh. A smile started breaking out on my face before the giggles that were tickling my throat escaped me.

Like that, the topic was dropped.

* * *

A slam echoed in the kitchen followed by a flow of colorful curses. Judith whined at the sudden noise as Carl jumped -just as startled- rubbing his hands on Judith’s back comfortingly. Merle came stomping into the living room and took a seat by the couch, roughly rubbing the beard that had grown, glaring at the floor without another word. Everyone within the living room took that as a sign that the house has already been picked over. Solemn faces looked away from the older Dixon, not wanting to deal with him or get into an argument over a situation that couldn’t be controlled.

Heavy footsteps came from the stairs at the same time as a door opened once more. Hopeful faces turned to the hall but they quickly fell when the other Dixon came in with a grave expression no different than his brother. Rick didn’t need to say anything. He saw the hunter coming without a catch and knew that it would be another day without food for them. Soon, Judith wouldn’t have anything to eat and they fed her small amounts at a time as is. Far from ideal for a normal child let alone for a growing infant.

Daryl silently communicated with Rick before turning to see Merle didn’t have any better luck finding anything in the kitchen if he was to judge the glum look right. All that was left now was Glenn who was checking with Maggie and Carol the house on the right, whereas Abraham and Rosita checked the left. If that failed, there were the three houses in front of the one they were settling in for the day. On any normal day, Rick wouldn’t have suggested searching houses in such a manner where anyone else would try to take advantage of a small group. He only allowed it because everyone was within shouting distance to even try to find food to eat.

Walking to Noah’s community wasn’t just far on foot. It was tiring, especially when there wasn’t enough food to fuel one's own body. They had lucked out with a vehicle that was functioning and managed to cut their trip in half the time. Once that ran out of fuel itself, it was back to walking the remaining distance on foot, stomachs gnawing at them once again.

Empty stomachs caused more flare-ups with the more temperamental members of their group- such as Merle -but as quick as those started, they ended. Lately, no one even had the strength to argue. They were just doing their best to find solutions.

Abraham and Rosita were the first two to come back from searching, holding up three cans. It wasn’t much of a find but three cans are better than none. The cans were placed on a coffee table in the living room with the hope that the other three found more. No one wanted to think about having to split just three cans among the seventeen of them. It would mean one spoonful and a half per person -if anything. Dary, Abraham, and Tyreese tended to skip some of their meals so others could eat. Other times, others would return the favor.

When Glenn, Maggie, and Carol returned from their search, there was only one can held in Glenn’s hand. Every eye watched as he placed the can on the table with the other three, staring at the meal everyone would have for the first time in days, stomachs already feeling hollow at the scraps that they would have. Merle scoffed, shaking his head.

“Ain’t that some feast.” He tilted his head, jeering, “Two cans of green peas, one set of chickpeas, and some black beans.”

No one said anything, feeling more or less the same way. Eugene was the one to say something, staring dispiritedly at the coffee table, “Beggars can’t be choosers.”

He missed the evil eye Merle shot him. 

Gabriel agreed silently, not daring to say a word as he knew that he wasn’t exactly a favorite to either Dixon, and the reason was a hole the size of a small child. A child that his own actions had caused to meet a terrible end. The scream from the woods would forever be implanted in his memory along with those of his congregation. More than the threat Merle had given him a few days ago. Unlike before, there will be people to remind him of his failure. Of his own weakness.

All at the cost of a child.

“Well, it’s all we got so we’ll make do,” Carol softly chimed in, arms crossed. That was the end of that. No one said anything else for the time being. Instead, everyone started to scatter about the living room and connected dining room, taking the time to rest after the long day they’ve had. Tyreese said he'll go up to let Tara and Noah know what they got.

The room felt heavy.

Judith cooed as Carl walked up to one of the cans and picked up one of the cans with a small smile, softly uttering, “She always called them ‘frijoles’ no matter how many times I told her to just call them beans.” 

A mix of emotions went through those that were in the room. Daryl froze up, unsure where this conversation would go, his hand stilling over his pocket where the little silver ring was hidden from sight. Carol stood by him, shoulder gently nudging him with silent support, giving him a broken smile of her own. Rick leaned against the doorway with a crooked grin, thumb scratching at his chin through the quickly growing beard, having seen one of those arguments between the two what was nearly two years ago now.

Glenn let out a short laugh, the sudden memory of that day coming to him. “Tells you ‘frijoles for life’ and she couldn’t even get them on a fork.” Maggie had a small smile break out on her face as she was starting to remember that day, leaning into Glenn’s shoulder. Rosita looked over at the couple with a stiff smile as she listened to the memories of the witty girl.

“She always had a book, quietly reading in the corner,” Maggie added as the memory of the little girl running off to read her book, never asking someone to do so. Maggie’s small smile turned to a frown at that realization, “She always had a book but we never read them to her.”

“I remember she was the one to read  _ us _ the bedtime stories,” Rick chuckled, remembering as Cielo would sit next to Herschel to practice in advance, too absorbed with her book to ever notice him. 

“I believe she would have the brains to keep up with my machinations," Eugene commented. Then he shivered, "She would have been one hell of a terrifying scientist."

"Pfft, Bambi was smarter than yer lug of brains, I know that." Merle rolled his eyes at the skittish man, playing with the grey stone she had given him last Christmas, not bothering to spare Eugene a glance. Daryl’s eyes looked at Merle from underneath his hair, seeing him mention her for the first time in weeks. Michonne didn't hide the stare.

Eugene was affronted, "I'm sure I have more knowledge in my brain than-"

"Ya almost went and ate some berries that would've killed ya. She stopped ya from eating yer damn 'blueberries'." Merle argued, finally looking over at him, unconsciously making himself appear larger to make the other man back down. 

Eugene pouted childishly, knowing that was the truth, nodding, "She probably knows what we could have eaten. Saw some red ones in the yard but can't say if we can eat them or not."

A harsh laugh left Merle, "Almost forgot she was going through that book." Merle glared over at Gabriel, "I'm guessin' the book got left behind 'cause of someone brought a whole fuckin' horde of walkers to the church."

Gabriel shrunk back, not daring to look at the man, guilt eating away at him. Rick sighed, "Nothing we can change now. Let's just-"

"She didn't want us to leave," Merle growled out. "The last time I saw her she was up in tears 'cause we were leaving again. That's the last of how I saw her. In tears!"

Gazes quickly turned away, downcast. It wasn’t a secret she hated it when she got left behind. Carol bit her lips from saying anything that can possibly set off the older Dixon, who seemed to finally take the time to process what he felt- to grieve. Her cerulean blues turned to the younger man next to her, who still had to do any grieving. For Beth or Cielo.

"Merle," Daryl choked out, chest tightening as he pleaded with him not to talk about her anymore. 

Merle ignored Daryl, still pushing through the emotions welling up in him. "She mighta not called me 'Daddy' but that kid was the closest-" Merle started choking up, voice wavering which was unheard of for either Dixon man. Everyone was looking at him in shock. Daryl felt his eyes start to water but he held back the tears that were welling up in them. Merle sighed, momentarily closing his eyes as he took a deep breath, "I was damn proud of that little girl. That was probably the closest I'll get to know what it feels like to have a kid…n' I normally hate the little fuckers." 

Carol smiled softly at him, "You loved her, didn't you?"

Daryl walked out, unable to deal with the emotion his brother was expressing, knowing very well he wasn't the type to lay his cards out on the table. Merle always kept them to his chest. Maybe give you a quick peek but never flat out showed them. Not like that. Then with Carol asking if Merle loved her…

_ "Love you, Daddy…" _

His heart constricted. 


End file.
